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THE COLBORNE EXPRESS, COtfoRNE ONT. THURSDAY, JAN. 3f, 19~35~ ABILITY TO JOKE One of the survivors of the Dundas train wreck, lying in a critical condition in hospital, said: "Well, at least we've taken those Dionnes off the front page." The capacity ot human beings to laugh at the very moment of death, and in the direst extremity is one of the most admirable qualities of the race.--Hamilton Herald. BELIEVE OR NOT. Mr. John A. Cunningham, former patrolman on the Wakerton-Kincar-dine highway, thought last week that the fates were against him when on going to his barn he found a plump Leghorn that had got soaked jn the water-trough lying to all appearances frozen stiff on the bam floor, with the temperature without hovering around the zero mark. Believing that life had long since departed, but bent nevertheless on thawing the bird out, Mr. Cunningham threw it behind the cook stove in the kitchen, where a wood fire was cracking in the grate. Believe it or not, as Ripley would say, but that bird came to, and to demonstrate that it was no ingrate, laid an egg, and then cackled vigorously for the boss to come and behold "Business As Usual." Nothing that he had lamped on the farm gave him more satisfaction than biddy's performance on that occasion.--Wal-kerton Herald-Times. WELL DRESSED. A current French idea of keeping toe wolf away from the door appears^ to be to confront him with the complacency of good clothes, impressed with the spectacle of a householder in a snappy new suit, the wolf is expected to let fall his tail and slink away in embarrassment at his obviously ill-timed intrusion. This attitude is, of course, based on the copybook motto that nothing succeeds like evidencdj' of s--Guelph Mercury. ly LONG SERVICE in possesses i 1 whii 8o*5 that it only takes lar duty of a collar'"buttSK days. His father had used the same accessory for 55 years. The story goes that the button was found by a sailor in a Scottish seamen's inn back around 1855. Maybe that explains its remarkable longevity of service".--Border Cities Star. TORONTO'S FINE SHOWING Ottawa's experience with diphtheria is common to that of all cities where a determined effort is made to immunize the youthful population against this disease that once was a deadly plague, probably would be still if preventive measures fcad not been developed. Toronto in 1895 reported 147 deaths from diphtheria. Allowing for the increase in population, in the same proportion the death list in 1934 would have reached 498. But by last year the toxoid immunization plan had been in use for a period long enough to make its benefits fully apparent, there were only 22 cases of diphtheria in the whole city, and no deaths. The mathematical precision of the firop as more and more children were Immunized matches Ottawa's, descending scale almost exactly. Toronto had 64 deaths from this disease in 1929, 54 in 1930, 36 in 1931, 15 in 1932 and 5 in 1933. That city's record is another factor for those few WHEN THE RAIN FALLS. The late Sir Herbert Tree, the English actor and wit, once summed up some facts of life In a classic jingle which went, as nearly as I can remember it, as follows: The rain, it falleth down Upon the just and unjust fella, But chiefly on the just, because The unjust hath the just's umbrella. MUST NOT BE REPEATED Consciously or unconsciously there is a universal conviction that the difficult times of the last four years have been altogether too difficult to be endured again, within the lifetime of the present generation, at least. The people do not intend, if they can help it, to put up with a repetition of that period of declining incomes, declining living standards, declining bank accounts and all-round hardships.--Quebec Chronicle-Telegraph. CASH AT AUCTION SALES The terms that used to appear on auction sale bills giving so many months' credit on approved joint percentage off for cash, are apparently a thing of the past, hereabouts. A more abbreviated form is now in common use and the most of the sales are usually "Terms cash." Numbers of the posters also bear the admonition that nothing is to be taken from the pre-dses "until satisfactorily settled I would appear that the farmer as gone on the cash and carry basis lso. Can it be that the credit sys-;m is about to go from all phases f activity. A few years ago every-ne was urged to buy on easy terms. It would seem that the terms were easy that everyone bought. The paying days are here. They have struck every walk of life, and the apparently just another evidence if the cash basis being established.--Acton Free Press. PROBLEM OF COW'S TAIL. Word comes that in Los Angeles ere is a national inventors' congress and that among 500 other devices shown there is one for hold-.iJMflg. Jfrj . __.iadians appeared in the King's Honor List this year. Here We see left to right-- E. W. Beatty, K.C., Knight of Grace of the Order of the Hospital of St. John of Jerusalem; Sir Albert Gooderham, Toronto, created Knight Commander of the Order of St. Michael and St. George; William J. Stewart, ex-Mayor of Toronto, Companion of the Order of the British Empire. uecalls the man who invented gadget for striking matches. You put in the match, turned ah rushed across the room to catch it before it went out. What is the n ter with tying the tuft of hair the end of the tail round the co leg? i wasn't always so wise. Among my other varied activities learned to milk cows. And I cursed the cow heartily because she insisted on sloshing me in the eye with her tail. The lady who taught me to milk looked on and said: "Why don't you tie a rock to it?" Anything so simple had never struck I did it. I remained unconscious for 15 minutes. I have always lamented that most women have no sense of humor, but when they have it's a wow.--Vancouver Province, POLICE DOGS. Police dogs cannot be imported into Australia. They are a nuisance nace in most countries. In that Commonwealth they endanger the sheep industry, which is a basic business of their agriculture. Australians cannot afford to have any re dangerous dogs running ar-d huge sheep ranches. As it is r the dingo, or native dog, held by pastoralists to be the most cunning animal in existence is of considerable trouble owing to its raids on sheep and the there is in shooting or even poison-it.--Brandon Sun. RUGGED INDIVIDUALISM. '•I believe in rugged individualism and the ruggeder and the more lnj dividualistc it is, the more I believtf in it," says President George B. Cut-ten, of Colgate University, who thinks that there is too much tendency to suppress the individual for the good of the man. As a matter of fact, he thinks that is quite the wrong way to go about it and that more good will be accomplished for the mass if the individual is encouraged.-- Sault Star. THE "EMPIRE SHORTER SKIRTS. Having lived to see the day when a woman in a short skirt looks positively dowdy, we must prepare our eyes for another shock. Next spring the fashion experts say, skirts will be shorter. Women will still dress in the height of discretion, but the height of discretion will be raised a few inches. By this time next year the flowing garments that now look so smart may be worn only by aunties. When this see-saw process has been repeated a few times more the whole human race will be shock-proof. And what will the modiste do then, poor thing?--Manchester Sunday Chronicle. AIR MAIL TO CANADA. Since we have now reached a point at which the air mail to Canada must be considered an immediate question, the seadrome has become practical problem, albeit ly ticklish one. that artificial is NEXT TO GODLINESS Some say the present clamor for bathing facilities arose through a plumbing accident, which deprived one of the most immaculate of our Councillors of his morning showers. Unable to take his accustomed bath, jie first grew indignant and then sorrowful, as the realization came over him of what it meant to be one of the great unwashed. Dr. E. Prada, the town clerk, pointed out at the Health Authority meeting that there is no compulsion on house owners to instal shower baths on their premises. Should such laxity continue? Should not the Local Authority be given power to enforce the construction of baths in all dwellings?--Trinidad Guardian, Port of Spain. UNIVERSAL LAW FOR MOTORISTS Nations Should Co-operate in Formation of Uniform Safety Code, Speaker Says. Toronto.--It is time for the nations of the world to co-operate in formation of a world-wide automobile safety code, in the opinion of Robert C. Graham, executive vice-' president of the Graham-Page Company and chairman of the export committee of the Automobile Manufacturers' Association of the United States. He has recently completed a tour comprising 15 countries and 35 states. nds, "has made the of any country," suital sign for the use of aircraft constructed and employed w cess. We have still to see i if the claim be granted, who make them and who is to operate them? Are they to be internationally planned and controlled or to be simply a host of littie Heligolands of the nations whose flags they fly? Obviously the seadrome question and the problem of the freedom of the seas cannot be separated.--Glasgow Herald. THE ART OF AGRICULTURE. It must not be forgotten that agriculture is also an art. In its highest forms it is based on an instinct for the soil, long years of experience and observation, above all training to grapple practically with day to day problems as they arise. In a word, farming cannot be conducted by word of command, like the body of troops. These are things which should be remembered when the wholesale planning of production from the soil is contemplated. Therefore, to whatever degree of control this country st resign itself, an assurance that will neither be overloaded with complicated machinery, nor made too rigid for safety, is of first impor-both the farmer and the community as a whole--Auckland Times. less of world conditio SPIRIT OF RECIPROCITY "I think the big thing to-day," said, "is to remember that the wealth of the world at large. We should deal with other countries in a spirit of reciprocity, arranging our terms by narrow nationalistic policies. We found, in the United States, that our Smoot-Hawley bill had boosted tariffs up too high--and we are gradually repairing that mistake." In regard to motoring needs, he pointed out that automobiles had already been developed more than the supervision of drivers and maintenance of highways. "We cannot say our highways are finished," he declared, "so long as one grade crossing remains, and so long as our curves are not so constructed that drivers can take Advantage of the speed and power which modern automobiles possess. UNIFORM SAFETY LAWS "There should be uniform safety laws throughout the world, with the fine ideas of each country welded into a universal, simple and sensible program that would demand that only those capable of safe driving be allowed to drive, rigid inspection of tires and brakes." He stated that by June a highway 11 would be complete between Mexico City annd Halifax, that cars built for Canada, the United States and Australia, where long distances wei be traversed, would always require heavier cars and more powerful gines than those designed for smaller European countries, and that n papers were the greatest present medium for moulding the public mind, expressing a. wish that they would use their opportunity to ter world fellowship. Canadian Railway Earnings Higher Revenues For Ten Months $247,356,942 Compare With $220,883,742 Ottawa.--Canadian railways ea ed $29,150,832 in October as against $27,239,163 in 1933. This was an increase of $1,911,668, or seven per cent. Operating expenses were heavier by $1,770,840, or nine per cent., and net operating revenues increased from $7,556,548 to $7,697,376. Less than half of the increase in operating expenses was for operating payroll which increased by $552,-464, or from $12,146,572 in 1933 to $12,699,036. The number of employ rose from 114,630 to 120,877, but w; 3,930 less than in September, 1934. For the ten months, January October, gross revenues amounted to $247,356,942 in 1934 and $220,883,742 in 1933 and the operating income was $27,460,277 in 1934 and $16,737, 77S in 1933. Field Crops Show Gain SHOW AN ESTIMATED ADVANCE OF $112,901,600 FOR YEAR JUST CLOSED Ottawa.--Canada's field crops foi 1934 show an estimated gain of $112,« 901,600 in value. This improvement is attributed mainly to better prices for farm products and some improve-ments in yields, and may be regarded as a significant and hopeful ste, in the recovery of Canadian agricul ture. According to a crop report issued by the Dominion Bureau ol Statistics, the value of the 1934 field crops is estimated at $536,498,600. compared with the 1933 valuation ol $423,597,000, and reaches the high est level since 1930. The greatest value increases an shown by the grain and fodder crops but these are offset to some extenL by a sharp decline in potatoes an< a lesser decline in sugar beets. Haj and clover accounted for a gain ol 37 million dollars in valuei oatl were better by 31 million dollars and barley showed a gain in value ol 10% million dollars. The estimated value of the potato crop is placed 9 million dollars lower than in 1932 despite the higher production in 1934 HAY PRICES HELP All of the provinces reported in creases in the value of field crops with the exception of Prince Ed ward Island, where a very slight re ducfion was shown. Both Nova Scotia and New Brunswick show in creases> due mainly to the improvement in hay prices. In Quebec a fairly general betterment in yield and prices caused an increase of 30 million dollars, or 45 per cent, in the value of field crops. In Ontario, higher prices for grains and fodder offset the lower production, and the estimated value of field crops is up 17 million dollars, or 14 per cent. Manitoba's yields were also down, but with generally higlher prices, the value of field crops is placed at 16% million dollars, or nearly 50 per cent, higher than in 1933. A similar condition prevailed in Saskatchewan which shows an improvement of 16 million dollars, or roughly 20 per cent. Alberta field crop values are estimated to be higher by about 37 per cent., or 28% million dollars. British Columbia shows a slight betterment over 1933 valu- An Illusion Lost There is a certain actress in the movies, whose name I certainly do not propose to divulge, who strikes me as about the most lovely of created things. I have worshipped her from a long distance for a long time. I was content that she should remain a shadow on a screen while Eighty thousand children were supplied with Christmas toys through a chain of' 150 toy shops operated across Canada*from coast to coast by Canadian Boy Scouts. Since their inception eleven years ago Canadian Boy Scout toy shops have collected, repaired, repainted and distributed nearly two million toys to over half-a-million Canadian children. In many centres scarcity of old toys this past year caused the Scouts to try their hand at making new ones, and wholesale quantities of new wagons, truck, tractors, racers, doll bedroom sets and other toys to delight the childish heart were added to Santa's pack. Thousands of family parcels of toys were sent to settlers rehabilitated in Ontario and Quebec by Government and municipal back-to-the-land schemes, and to new homesteaders in Northern Saskatchewan. Heavy bulk shipments of toys ^vere made by eastern Scout toy ihops to assist their brother Scouts n the West to carry on the good work. In addition, Scouts in the East distributed thousands of playthings among the children of their districts who might otherwise have been overlooked. -- Canadad Week by Week. HHB ind a . jvehient relationship. It seemed to me she grew lovelier with the passing of the years. Then the other morning the Colonist, with a callous disregard for me and all the other lady's admirers, had to go and publish a news picture of her on the deck of a liner with a lot of other people. It was a cruel thing to do. For, alas, my lovely lady, without her screen make-up, without those long, lustrous but false eyelashes, without her seductive gowns and alluring poses, turned out to be a middle-aged person of considerable girth and numerous wrinkles. You can see a hundred girls on the streets of Victoria much better looking any day of the week. My last illusion has been shattered. It was cruel of the Colonist great mistake for the lady to let herself get caught by the photographers without her war paint. If the newspapers continue to do this sort of thing, where is it going to end? Soon there will nothing left to worship at all. -- Victoria Times. eag 'The masses are always more -- for security than they are enamored of liberty."--Glen Frank. "Don't get the notion t0 travel • lot. There ain't much to see." -- Will Rogers. DAVID COPPERFIELD Weekly Serial jDavid is sent to school at Canterbury. He lives David, now a young man, is in London bent on a with the Wiekfields, and little Agnes is his con- career as an author. He has left behind him the jstant companion,* while Steerforth is his best Wiekfields and his old friends, the Micawbers. ifriend at school.* He also' meets Uriah Heep, By a strange coincidence Micawber has been [Wickfield's clerk, whom he suspects is a scoun- given a position as assistant to Uriah Heep. In idrel. Busy and happy now," the pleasant years London with his friend Steerforth, David meets slip, by quickly. Dora Spenlow and falls in love with her. One day, walking on the beach with Steerforth Soon, David's first story is published and he near Dora's home, David chances on the Peggotty visits his Aunt and Agnes to tell them of his' boat-house. They pay them a visit and David approaching marriage. Aunt Betsey disapproves again meets his dearly beloved nurse, Peggotty. but Agnes hides her broken heart. Then she tells, But a few weeks l^er he is horrified to find that him that Uriah Heep is now a partner in her! Lmly, betrothedjto. Ham, has .run „away_with father's firm and that he has some mysterious' Steerforth. hold over Wickfield. .What can it bej Watch fod