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Wm THE COLBORNE EXPRESS, COLBORNE. ONT. DEC. 5, 19S7 Women Are So Unpredictable Desiree was a lovely, twenty-three-year-old French girl from Rouen. She had a handsome husband, co-director of a Paris fashion housi. who gave her everything she needed -- a lavish personal allowance, plenty of servants, an apartment off the Champs-E!ysees, and a beautiful country house overlooking the Seine. Ha adored her. And yet, apparently, so much luxury nauseated her. By chance she met in the street a down-at-heel disreputable-looking artist. Not only was ne an unsuccessful painter, but he was ugly and sffered from gross carbuncles. His chances of getting even a second glance from a pretty girl seemed slight. Yet at once he won her heart. Within a week of their meeting she ran out on her husband, leaving him a note saying: "Your money, luxury and scrupulous attentions have long sickened me. I can stand them no more, so do not count on me as your wife any longer. I have found a mission in life, thank Heaven, a man so low in means and prospects that he really needs me to make him happy. You'll probably laugh at him if you ever see him -- he is so adorably ngly -- but now I know I can never leave him." This quality of unpredictability which is so deeply embedded in women has shocked many a man who supposed he had the whip hand or couid assert his will easily. It has been shown in a hundred dramatic ways. After a drinking spree in California, an elderly salesman quarrelled violently with his wife. "I'm going to kill you," he cried, and dashed oufr of the house to his car, where he kept a revolver. He obtained it and was striding down the garden path when a shot rang out and he threw up his arms and dropped dead. The wife he had threatened to kill had dashed upstairs, grabbed her revolver, taken steady aim from her bedroom window and got her shot in first! These impulsive actions often have fatal results. A short-sighted woman in a small Canadian town disputed her ex-husband's claim to some property. She felt it belonged to her. "I'll do you in, jf you don't give it up," she declared. Twice she nearly made good her threat. Once she fired at him from point-blank range, but the trigger eliektd on an empty chamber. Another time she plunged a knife into his ribs, but skilful nursing pulled him round. Wisely, perhaps, he disappeared. But the implacable womac eventually traced him to a distant town. Now, thoroughly worked up for her act of sworn vengeance, she knocked at the door and a man appeared. "This time you're getting . what's coming to you!" she cried, as sh epumped bullets into him. She went back to her hotel and took an overdose of sleeping tablets, but was discovered before they could take effect. Then she learned the grim truth. The man she had shot and killed was not her ex-husband, but a stranger who had the ill-- LABOR OF LOVE -- Mrs. Frances Kuchda looks with a critical eye at the results of her painstaking artistry -- a crocheted version of "The Last Supper." Mr*. Kuchda estimates that she spent two to three years in actual labor on the work, which measures 30 by 50 inches. luck to bear the same name and resemble him slightly in build! A fragile-looking girl, now famous for her humanitarian work, was nearly expelled for a rash and impulsive act while at school. A fondness for practical jokes of a rather morbid kind distinguished her. And, at a well-knwon girls' school in the home counties, on parents' visiting day, she conceived the idea of staging a death scene. Helped by a chum or two in her dormitory, she prepared a bed so that it seemed to have a corpse in it. They pulled the sheet over the dummy figure, put a Bible on the bed, and on a side table placed a wreath, some flowers, a lighted candle and a wooden cross. Imagine the headmistress's anguish when she brought some parents into the room! She really thought a girl had died! Love at first sight never ceases to be fascinating, due to the unpredictability of women. A young man travelling on London Underground, recently noticed a very attractive girl who every day caught an Inner Circle train from Charing Cross to Liverpool Street at about 5 p.m. "If only I could find some way of speaking to her," he said to himself. "But it's quite impossible." Yet, one evening as she was walking up the steps at Liverpool Street, and he was quite close, she suddenly lost one of her shoes. With what avidity did he bend down and retrieve it! Thanks to that incident, he gol his chance in a million of speaking^ to her. Their romance blossomed fast. The time soon came when he said to her: "Thank Heaven you dropped that shoe. I think it was providential. Without it, we'd never have met." 'Providential!" she repeated, smiling. "I somehow felt you wanted to talk -to me. And that seemed the best way of effecting an introduction!" FASHION HINT TABLE TALKS cJar^Ar\dt>ew$. Time to be at least thinking about that Christmas dinner, a'nd I think you'll find the following hints really valuable, and especially helpful to those who are pressed for time. As an inexpensive, easy, yet delicious starter to serve try: HOT SPICED APPLE JUICE 1 quart bottled apple juice or sweet cider 1 teaspoon cinnamon 20 whole cloves Vi teaspoon nutmeg In a saucepan, combine apple juice or cider and remaining ingredients. Simmer, covered, for ten minutes. Strain through a very fine sieve and serve immediately. Or make the day before and refrigerate, reheating just before serving. Eight servings. For the turkey, use savory stuffing made the day before: SAVORY STUFFING 1 cup, plus two tablepoons butter or margarine SA cup minced onion Vi cup diced celery 2Vi teaspoons salt 2 teaspoons poultry seasoning 13 cups lightly packed day-old bread crumbs (coarse) Vi cup minced parsley (optional) Vi teaspoon pepper Vi teaspoon dried thyme (optional) Melt butter in deep kettle, add minced onion and simmer until tender. Meanwhile, combine remaining ingredients. Add to onions and butter and heat well without browning, stirring frequently. If the mixture seems too thick, a small amount of hot water may be added. This amount is sufficient to fill the crop and body cavity of a bird weighing about 10 pounds, drawn weight (minus head, feet, and organs). Refrigerate until time to stuff the bird on Christmas morning. Baked stuffed sweet potatoes not enly'taste good but look attractive and can be baked the day before ( n the same oven as the pielets). BAKED STUFFED SWEET POTATOES 6 medium sweet potatoes of uniform size (about four pounds) 3 tablespoons butter or margarine 1 teaspoon salt Pinch of cinnamon Pinch of nutmeg \i cup top milk Heat oven to 425 deg. F. Scrub potatoes and arrange on oven rack. Bake for 45 minutes or until tender when tested with a fork. Remove from oven and cut in half lengthwise. With a teaspoon, scoop, out soft center, leaving a Vi ir.ch layer inside of shell. Set eight of the potato shells aside. Mash pulp, adding butter and other ingredients; beat with "fork until creamy and fluffy. Heap into eight shells, leaving surface rough, and using pulp from the extra potatoes if needed. Cool and refrigerate. About one and one-half hours before dinner, remove stuffed potatoes from refrigerator, and 30 minutes before-dinner, place in a 350 deg. F. oven for 30 minutes. Serve at once. Serves eight. Glazed small onions will prove a welcome addition to the dinner, prepared as follows: GLAZED SMALL ONIONS 3 pounds small onions 3 tablespoons butter 1 i cup brown sugar, firmly 1 teaspoon salt Pepper to taste Peel onions. Pour two cups of boiling water into a saucepan, adding one teaspoon of salt. Add onions. Cover and boil gently until just tender -- from 20 to 30 minutes. Drain and add remaining ingredients. Return to medium heat and cook, uncovered, until golden and glazed, turning often. If you want a second vegetable you can serve boiled, whipped squash; and don't forget to add a bit of sugar along with other seasonings, for it greatly improves the flavor. Also use plenty of butter. The mince pielets can bake along with the sweet potatoes the day before. MINCE PIELETS iVi cups packaged mincemeat 1 3-ounce package cream cheese S teaspoons top milk or light cream 1 teaspoon granulated sugar 1 teaspoon grated lemon rind Prepare pastry, using packaged mix if desired. Roll out % of pastry to %-inch thickness and cut into eight five-inch rounds. Fit these into three-inch muffin tins and place one-quartor cup of mincemeat in each shell. Roll out remaining pastry and cut into eight 3%-inch rounds, making a single one-inch slit in the center of each round. Place one of these rounds on each pielet, tucking bottom crust up over top crust. Pinch edges together tightly and fiute. Bake at 425 degrees for 30 minutes Meanwhile, beat cream cheese, cream, sugar, and lemon rind together with a fork until creamy. Remove pielets from oven, cool and refrigerate both pielets and cheese mixture. During dinner, warm pielets on cooky sheet in warm oven with heat turned off and place a small round of the cheese mixture on top of each when serving. Before the cold weather comes, gather Christmas decorations in the woods. Pine cones and dried twigs can be tipped with white paint and used to adorn gift packages or the Christmas tree. Too Tired To Go To Own Wedding It worried the energetic, good-looking American airman when he found that the sweet-faced, charming European girl he had first met operating a lift in a big city store was bone lazy. But he couldn't help himself falling head over heels in love with her and within a few weeks their wedding date was fixed. The great day dawned. There he was -- looking, debonair and smart in his uniform -- waiting at the fashionable Washington church for his lackadaisical but lovely bride. And there was' she -- fast asleep in her diaphanous blue nightie in the bedroom of her luxury hotel It was 10 a.m. and the ceremony was due to begin. When the best man dashed round to the hotel he found her bedroom door was locked on the inside. He and members of the hotel staff banged on it repeatedly and at last roused her. "For goodness' sake, let me sleep in peace!" she cried angrily: "I'm never punctual, anyway. Tell Jack he'll have to change the time to twelve noon because I'm dog -tired and don't feel like hurrying," Her embarrassed bridegroom was furious, but all his protests proved unavailing when he went round to the hotel to try to reason with her. By that time she had reluctantly risen from bed and was slowly donning her wedding dress, yawning heartily as she did so. "You've got to face the fact that I'm naturally lazy and hate being pushed around," she drawled. Being a woman, she got her way and the wedding was postponed for a couple of hours. Even then she was a quarter of an hour late arriving at the church! A hard-to-believe story? Perhaps, but it's true. There are some men and women so lazy that even most important events in their lives seem too much trouble. The police in a North of England city were recently called to get a middle-aged woman out of bed. Her long-suffering husband, knowing she was not ill but just work-shy, had tried a bucket of water, without effect. "She has not been up for three years for more than an hour or two a week," he told the magistrates next day when she was prosecuted for letting the house get so dirty it was a menace to health. "She loves lying in bed more than anything else in life and takes after her mother who was also bone idle." The woman was fined $15, after declaring: "I hate work of any kind." This was by no means a record of bed-keeping for a healthy person. A perfectly fit spinster who died recently stayed be- tween the sheets for forty-five years. "She was well-to-do-and occupied most of her time with needlework," said a neighbour who did the woman's shopping and chores for her. "She never got up, although her health was good and she ate well. "She confided to me that in her youth she had been jailed, and as a result she vowed that she would be lazy for the rest of her life. She took to her bed and stayed there. "Some of her old lover's letters, a little -tear-stained, were found under her pillow after her death." Ever heard of anyone suffering from ergophobia? It means fear of work. A doctor said that & Midlander was a victim of this "complaint" and had been out of bed only twice in four years. As a boy this man had been so idle that he'd never been able to stay on a job for more than a week or two without being fired for "sheer laziness." An uncle left him a few thousand pounds when he was twenty-one, so he at once fired himself from his part-time job and resolved never to do another stroke Of work. In Huddersfield, a West Riding employer, suspected that twenty of her employers were addicted to laziness. With a view to speeding them up rather than fir* them, she hit on a bright idea. Addressing them aU. one morning, the employer said: "I have an easy job for the laziest per-' son employed in this workshop. Will he or she please step forward?" Instantly, nineteen of the workers advanced. "Why don't you step forward like the rest?" the employer inquired of the remaining one. "To much trouble," said the workman, yawning. Another employer in the United States declared that when be has a tough job in a plant and can't find an easy way to do it, he gives it to a notoriously lazy employee. "Within a week he always finds an easy way and then we adopt that method," smiled the employer. In a Lincolnshire magistrates' court, not long ago, a man charged with sleeping in a stable was stated by the police to be "utterly lazy and a hater of honest work." The man knew there was $180 waiting for him at his solicitor's office, but was too lazy to go there and collect it. In South America a government railway inspector once asked an able-bodied young man what his duties were. "I fill the water jugs in the office every day," he replied. Passing to an adjoining room, the inspector met another young man with his legs up on a table. "Are you employed here?" asked the inspector. "Yes, sir," was the answer, "I am assistant to the man in the next room." NOT IN TEXAS!--Texans, with a long tradition of boa: 'erything is the biggest in their state, will be shockec that someone there has ordered what are believed 1 smallest pair of eyeglasses ever produced. The tiny spectacles measure lees than an inch and a half across the front and can almost pass through the rim of a normal-sized frame. KISSiN' KIN--Lotus, a fwo-ton hippopotamus at the San Diego Zoo, affectionately rr her two-month-old offspring in the classic man ner employed by movie queens posing for a publicity picture with thsir newest child. Also in the "tradition of Hollywood, Lotus refused <o allow fhs youngster to be photographed for several weeks after its birth.