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NOTES AND COMMENTS i \ Mrs. Mary 0 Connor Newell, a writer Ay profession, declares in a iq&gazine article that the professional woman has proved a failure. Official data show that woman has entered intq competition In practically all the callihgs and occupa­ tions of men, and in Industry, at any rate, ho- "emancipation" is now com­ plete. Yet, according to Mrs. Newell, "she has not made good. ' She has dis­ appointed her champions. It seems that _ b ho cannot "stand alone, successful,, unanxious, upon her own work." Al­ most nowhere in high places do we find women, and now, as in the pre-emanci- Ration-erac, "men tre the great finan­ ciers, cooks, teachers, managers." The Indictment is sweeping and supported fay few facts. What is the writer's test of eucce&s? Freedom from anxiety? In that case few men succeed. The occu- « pation of high places? There are few such places in any calling and only few can reach them. The great majority of men must needs be satisfied with mod­ est work and modest measures of suc- «5S. Have women failed as phys c ans and fcurçc ns, <y> managers of Usptiais and el nies nnJ sanitariums? Ce. ta inly not. In the medical profession women stand very high, though they have had no­ thing but indifference and opposition from most men and most women. In teaching men have almost been super­ seded by women, and the latter are not regarded as failures in education even ty those who would like to see an in crease in the number of men Ln that profession. In letters, in the fine arts, ln the theatre, on the opera and con­ cert stage women are succeeding mar- velcu-ly. It is unnecessary to name the great women singens, the great actress­ es. the pianists and violinists of the fair sex. II would be equally, su; erfluous to make a List of women" novelists, essay­ ists, poets, cifctics, etc. RELIGION MORALITY No Man Can Live for Great Purposes Unless He Cherishes High Ideals To say that the women have no Shake- 4 f>poar< or Beethoven or Michael Ange­ lo among thepi is to repeat an over­ worked and hackneyed argument that provis nothing--or too much. How many men of such genius have there to- en in history? Have women had suf­ ficient time and opportunity to demon- sti ate that firs I-rate work is beyond their powers? Mrs. Newell herself says that "if brilliant women got half the mental assistance from husbands and brothers ith^t many men get from wives and sie- tvrjp," it is probable that she would be upon to dwell on their success. \Vhat, then, becomes of the assertion that th-5 professional woman has failed to make goed? KEEPING EGGS FRESH IN CHINA. A Traveller Tried the Process and Found It a Success. "Tlicre is a way to beat the storage commission merchant and the old hen herself, I 1 8ve fresh eggs all the time •n fact, '; s a recent ti aveller in China. "This method may be as old as the Chinese--at least I learned it in China wh<n I made a trip through the East more than a year ago. 1 happened to run into a friend at Shanghai white over there, and when 1 left he presented me with what he said were eggs. "Although they didn't look like eggs at all--looked, indeed, more like elon­ gated mud pies with a stone stuffed in them--I faithfully brought them home, and at last opened one. "Sure enough, there was an egg in- sxle, and when it was broken it proved to te entirely fresh, although it may have bo n in that mud for a year or more. Well with that knowledge of how the Chinamen keep eggs fresh I salted a whole barrel of them to see how they would do under our mud. "1 bought them at I lie time of year when they were cheap, not caring much whether they kept or not, but willing to try the experiment. 1 burled them under more than a foot and a half of earlh and left them for several months. "When winter" came along and eggs went up to somé enormous figure' 1 just dug down into the earlh and pulted out that barrel. Opened to the light of day he-eggs look'd as if they had just been laid. They tasled, too. us if they had never been put a way in the earth for many wo ks. ' KITCHENER WAR MACHINE. Sure/** of Uie Expedition Against Zukkn IteMs. An ofll< 1 d rep u t on the recent Indian front or expedition against tho Zakka Kheis < mpliasizes tho brillkmt success ot Loid Kiichenor's new anny scheme, winch was thoroughly tested for the fir-t tune in thus campaign. TIk- r | orl shows that the efficacy of I/ord Kili lu nors reorganization in--Viols was d iiKimslraVd in Vie following ways:-- . 0»-t of ih-' Zakka Ktu l exp<'dition will Le llie smalte.-t on record. Amount of baggage taken smaller than ever let; re. A very large force could have been m b lizvd with ecrecy and despatch. The expedition moved wtfc%such swlfl- ness that the enemy did neft have time V onoenlarto tribal levks. Eiionny mj demoralized that the ex- pxd t on withdrew without being huruss- by the usual .-niping operations. IJoth field and headquarters organiza- ti ms work©! without a single hitch Tlx- effect produced by ttic decisive m>v< monts of Major-General Wilcocks' f ice was one of astonishment from end to end of (be 1: order. A hen t man begins to make n fool (. h msr :» >8 * apt to work ov clime. "Faith apart from works is dead."-- James 11., 26. You will often hear some one say: "I am not a religious man at all. 1 am Just a plain moral man, trying to do what Is right with all others." There is some implied dist notion between re­ ligion and morally which makes the av­ erage person feel that while there can be no doubt as to the value of the lat­ ter to the world, the former is a separ­ ate matter and of doubtful usefulness. It is safe to say that every person is either more relig ous or less religious than he imagines himself to be. He who disclaims any religion, insisting the only thing he is concerned about ,!s his duly to his fallow man and the good of society as a whole, may be cherishing profoundly religious ideals and follow- ng them in a deeply religious spirit. On the other hand, those who seek to discredit what they call "empty moral­ ity," who tell us there is no goed in-any man except the geod that is formally, sure naturally conferred in the name*of religion, have only so much rebgion as they may by force or by accident ex­ press in lhe moiality they affect to de­ spise. A man's religious professions are nc guide to bis moral character, but his moral practce is a safe guide to HIS RELIGIOUS SINCERITY. Is there any difference between the re- oLt.es of religion end morality? , Can f no te moral without the relgous spir­ it? What Is religion but the inspiration of morality and morality but the vital­ izing expression of reiigdn? Morality is the art of tho right con­ duct of life, especially in relation to one's fellow beings. The moral man sees be­ fore him slandards and ideals of living, personal and social; his sense of duty is the obi gation to do certain things and to avoid others because these are foritbe good or the ill of tiial ideal of person I r gh tries» and social good which be cherishes. Religon is the life of .ideals, the life f goodness and truth and service be­ en uso these seem to be the supremely des rafale aims in life. It is the life that cherishes the groat thoughts of the past, fh* high vision ot character and civiliz­ ation that men have dreamed, the.spiri­ tual heritage of the ages; it is the life that counts all things but dross that It may win character and social complete­ ness. When the man who avows the moral aim says thfit he has no use for relig­ ion he is probably thinking of its form and its furniture. He seeks the right life and he cannot see that songs and ceremonies, from which time and chang­ ing conditions often have taken all deep significance, have any value or helpfulness to him. • Often the difficulty comes, however, because we who seek the moral ends, the. high aims of character and service, piety, since Jehovah's Interests and those of the nation are one. 1 will instruct you--The special work of the prophet Is to be retained. 24, 86--'This is a resume of Samuel's whole argument. A balance of prom­ ises and warning*. ------ -------------- they fell two miles. Thriflifng Adventure of Two Lady Bal­ loonists. The terrible fall ft two women para­ chutiste from a Mjkght of more than two miles was described by one of them tc a Ivondon proas representative a few <layis ago. The women--Mias Daisy Shepard and jMtss Louie May--who made an ascent from Longton (Staffordshire), came down at Feld Farm, four- miles from Cltoxe- ter, and Miss Shepard was seriously in­ jured. Miss May escaped/ practically unhurt, and was able to go home at once. Miss Shepard is confined to bed at Feld" Farm suffering from' an injury to her1 spine, but She is in high spirits and confident of a speedy recovery. "I love ballooning," she said, "and it am as much at home in the air as 1 am anywhere. You see I was alt right. fail to see how deep ie our need of the Jl was my companion, Miss May, who was in trouble. Her parachutai refused to work, and inspiration and light THAT RELIGION CAN GIVE. No man can live for great purposes un­ less he comes to some sense of the world of spiritual values. In tho fight for the full and free life we need to know that we do not fight alone, that we are but part of a great and glorious army that has been strug­ gling up through all the ages past. We need to catch the vision of lhe glorious a'my of martyrs and to feel the glow of strength that comes from touch with the great souls of every age. We may read any kind of meaning we will into the words by which wo at­ tempt to describe the infinite fceng. God may be a definite person or only an In­ fluence or an ideal. But our morality needs the dynamic of that ideal, the sense of the great spirit of truth that works through us all to the realization of our best thoughts and hopes for all. Let a man honestly] follow his moral ideals; let him pay the prioe they will demand of him; let him Invest himself in their achievement, and he will not need to w try about religion; he will cone to a -ense of the-spiritual values of his service; he will find himself a part of the grout company of those who have lived for the kingdom of the good; he will know the power that works in us for the right. HTNRY F. COPE. THE S. S. LESSON INTERNATIONAL LESSON, JULY 19. Uessojh III. Samuel Warns Salul Ond the People. Golden Text. I. Sam. 12. 24. \ the lesson word studies. (Based on the text of the Revised Version.) Samuel's Lifework.-The last message of Samuel as he relinquished his rule in Israel is one of great Impressiveness and weight. His age and long, clear record commanded u respectful hearing, and his unique relation to Jehovah gave hi s words a peculiar solemnity. Other leaders had brought their public lives to a close in this manner. He follow-, ed in the steps of Moses and of Joshua, who on historic occasions gave their parting counsel and warning in the name of the Lord to the assembled peo­ ple. A glance at the conditions of the •time when Samuel took up his work serves to show his importance as the. force which held together the old and tlie new, and safely bridged a most mo­ mentous period of transition. An or­ ganizer of the people was needed. There was scarcely such a thing as national life. To be sure, in times of danger the tribes immediately concerned joined to­ gether, bound by temporary common interests, and local leaders from time Id time succeeded in maintaining a kipd of confederacy of the tribes; but this was occasional and far from com­ plete. Samuel in bis travels from place to place us judge and by his wide influ­ ence paved the xvay for the unity of a national life under 'the early kings. The extension of territory was Imperative. All the land from the Mediterranean to the desert and from Syria to tho wild­ erness belonged to the twelve tribes in promise, but actually they did not pos­ sess it. The splendid victories of Joshua and his host had not teen followed up, and the division of the land among tre children of Israel while settling their in­ ternal claims to it still left the matter Ot te conquest to the strength and pow­ ers of each trite. For tie most part the people were quite willing to make treaties with the original possessors of Ihe land. The Ammonites, Moabites, Amaiekites, and Philistines were still in the country tlieir power varying with tho coherence of Israel's strength under her different leaders. Many of Ihe wall­ ed towns and cities were still in the hands of the Canaanitos, and from these as centres they mode constant raids upon tho neighboring crops and vineyards and exacted a rough sort of tribute from the Hebrew settlers. In­ deed. at this time the Philistines, a groat people dwelling in the rich, mari­ time Plain and tho fertile foothills of Western Palestine, had reduced the neighboring Israeli les to a condition of abject fear and obedience, and their wars of aggression form the background to the history of this time. Samuel loth in person and os the "maker of Israel's kings' brought deliverance to the oppressed people. A man of God was needed. The territorial and politi­ cal difficulties were far from the most serious dangers of the time. Religious contamination had done much to de­ grade Israel's worship. Jehovah's pre­ eminence was in the balance. The places made sacred os the shrines of Connanlle deities were appropriated to the use of the newcomers, and many f t the religious customs and symbols of Israel's neighbors were adopted by her, with tho result that the purity of her faith was all but lost. There was great danger that Jehovah would be reduced to the rank of a Canaanite god. It wus therefore, a momentous event when Samuel, a man of strong religious zeal, was raised up to be at once the prophet of God and the people's ruler. we were not able to descend when we intended to at a'helght of a lew hundred feet. We went up and up until we had reached a height of 11,000 feet. We passed through two clouds, and. that Inade matters worse, as tho clouds made the materai of the parachute wet. "I hardly know what happened. 1 remember Miss May jumping on my knvE She must have leaped five feet (through the air. It was a very risky thing to do, but she did it splendidly, end then we began to descend. "My parachute was built to carry only one passenger, and I the evtra .weiight mode It descend with terrible rapidity. Miss May was on my knnes alt the way, and she was not unjured much. "We were us'ng a new npanatus for freeing the parachute, which workfd all right to the tests, but failed ln actual practice." The injury to Miss Shepard's spine i« said to be serious, but not incurable. Verse 2. Walketh before--As a ruler. The phrase suggests both publicity and leadership. Gray beaded--A sympathetic appeal, to his age. This had been the pev excuse! in asking for a king (1 5) Sa/hUel now turns it tot his < count. My youth--His youth had been «spec! ally noteworthy. The early vision (t Sam. 3. 10) and call to the propheti office was known to all. against me--The figure has long been judge now puts htmsel on trial at the bur of the people's opin ion. There is a note of challenge in hi words here, Before Jehovah--His presence insures a decision which shall be final and sen-, eus (compare verse 5). SKYSCRAPERS COST MUCH. Modern Building ts Much More Expen­ sive Than Formerly. Although the loss by the great fire which destroyed Chelsea, Mass., has bun officially put at $10,000,000, it is stated that the cost of rebuilding will bo $105.000.000 at least. There la no­ thing improbable about this. The fig­ uier-, merely serve toemphas ze the vast­ ly enhanced cost of modern buildings, a ; compared with those of a few yea is back. Single steel skyscrapers, such as now figure in all American cities .cost or­ dinarily anywhere from $5,000,000 to 610,000,000, and occasionally a great deal Sore. » The famous Park Row Building "n York, for instance, which is twen- 6 storeys high, is worth 3 000; white bno less than ' " »dy bien wen-J.4 < storey Metropolitan oe, which, whett re the tallest permanenl ,e world, and more than twice the igbt of St. Paul's Cathedral, Ixmdon's ftiest building. Insur FROM ERIN'S GREEN ISLE NEWS BY MAIL FROM IRELAND'S SHORES. Happenings In Ihe Emerald lsto °f Interest to Irish­ men. The Masonic schools in Dublin have recently inherited $150,000. At the recent fair in Longford, year­ ling cattle sold at «30 and $40 each. Linavady people have raised $300 to hf lp these who suffered from the recent fire. ' It .Is proposed to construct a railway line from Newtown ards to Fortafcrry, County Down. Rev. Dr. Hcare, Bishop of Ardagh, is Li a serious condition as the result ot being thrown by a mettksame horse. The Leitrim County Council has adopt­ ed a resolution extending the shooting season for hares, pheaisants and other w ld fowl. Mrs. Maguire of Kilbaha was arrest­ ed for driving the cattle of Mr. Martin Hater off a farm from which she was recently evicted. Joseph Murray was caught by machin­ ery in Kynochs factory at Arklow, and so horribly mangled that be died in two hours. Mr. P. Connell, manager of a local branch of the Hibernian Bank, Ltd., has b en appointed on the Commistsion of Peaoe for County Donegal. Mr. L. Macas-ey, consulting engineer to Belfast Water Commissioners, one of the prominent civil engineers in the North Of Ireland, died .^t Belfast. Swanlinbar, in County Cavan, has one of the finest sulphur spas to be found in either England or Ireland,, and every year ills fame is spreading. Damage estimated at over $40.000 was caused by fire, at the workshops for the blind, and a suite of offices situated in Ihe Royal avenue, Belfast. The Carlow Town Comm ssioners have decided to accept Mr. Andrew Carnegie s offer of $6,250 towards the erection of a free library for the town. The sate of the Lloyd «state at Kyle- ballyh/intkan, Tcmnlorn-ore, has practi­ cally DOT 3. Witnr throughout is that of a court. He who l>When the erection of single edifices His anointed--The king. This term^hons. later comes to mean the Messianic King,; and is applied to Christ; but here it means Saul, whom Samuel may ha va just anointed before all the people. Ransom--Literally, "blood money.'*; The money paid the next of kin of a- murdered man to purchase immunity from the usual vengeance. It here means a bribe accepted by '.he judge (Arnos 5. 12). This is frequently pro­ hibited (Num. 35. 31; Deut. 16. 19). Brib­ ing is tire common vice of the East and always has been. Every sort of trans­ action can be facilitated by a "gift." Many of these presr-nts arc mentioned in the Old Testament as legitimate and necessary (compare 1 Sam. 10. 27), but this especially is said to blind the eyes -- that is, to make a judge blind to the right. "For a bribe doth blind the eyes of the wise and pervert the words of the righteous' (Deut. 16. 19). 6-13--Here follows a" survey of Jeho­ vah's dealings with the people from the days in Egypt till the present deliver­ ance under Saul. 14. Fear Jehovah--Honor him. This is very different from tho fear or terror ot Jehovah in Gen. 35. 5, and the "dread of Jehovah" in 1 Sam. 11. 7. As used In the Old Testament it means a moral respect and devotion which often amounts even to lové. It stimulates to active obedience. 15. Against your fathers--As narrated in verse 9. Defeat meant God's active opposition, as victory meant his direct assistance. 16. Sland still--Or, "present your­ selves"--still the figure of a trial, but now Jehovah is the Judge and the peo­ ple are being tried. Great thing--A very great thing in the people's eyes, as rain at thi* time of year is almost unheard of in Palestine. It would of course be taken as a divine sign. 17. Wheat harvest--May and June. 18. Jehovah . . . Samuel--Ti.ey stood as one in popular thought. 21. Vain things--"Emptiness." Tho term was used by the later prophets os meaning idols (Hub. 2. 18; l*n. 44. 9), 22. For his great names sake--Jeho­ vah's honor and reputation w«s thought to be at stake in his "peculiar people," they represented to the world his power and wisdom. So throughout the early history of tho Jews prayers and re­ quests are endorsed by hi* "great name," and his own honor is the motive appealed to. He cannot see his people In distress for that te a reflection on Jiis ability, since he i* responsible for them. 23. That I should sin against Jeho­ vah--A lack of patriotism would be im- -olves the outlay of such colossal urns, it is hardly a matter for wonder- , ment that the re-erection of an entire ^l&ty, suddenly destroyed by fire, earth­ quake, or other cataclysm»I catastrophe, should involve an expenditure that can tonly be counted in hundreds of mil- Thus, San Francisco as it ex is tod be­ fore the earthquake was valued at $600,- 000,000. Tho earliest estimates for re­ building called for anrexpenditure 1 f •$5,000.000.000, but it is flow certain that •even this huge sum will 'be largely ex­ ceeded. And it would he surprising were it not so. The cost of rebuilding Chicago, after the fire of 1871, was $4,- 000,000,000. And there were no $25,000,- 000 skyscrapers in those days. --------- *--------- BURGLAR PHONED FOR AI D. lie (jailed the Police to ills Assistance in Odessa. An audacious burglary in which four pcticiTOun vere iinwittingly implicated took place at OdUsh, Russia, a few days '«■go. Just before midnigfit Ihe police sta­ tion In the Alexandrovski district ro­ te V'd a telephone message lo send four tio'> ctiives^M the h mse of the Govcrnor- O-nernl. "wP On their arrival they were met out­ side the door by a captain of the gen­ darmerie, who Informed them that Ihe arnef. of a dangerous revo'.utk tnnry had to be effected, and that they must be prepared for an armed resistance. He then drove off with them to the hou-xf of Dr. Buchstab, a prosperous young physician, which they entered in the name of the lew. Only the doctor's mother and the ser­ vants were in the J10u.se, and tho cap- lain asked the old lady toT hnn l over ali the money In her possession, inform­ ing her at tho seme time that she would }c arrested in the morning. He then ordered the policemen to make a care­ ful eearch (or bombs. No bombs wore 'found, and "he captain ordered the few détectives ibnek to their st ation. He then drove away, taking with him over $500. Next morning it was discovei*l' that fh" whole affair was a fraud, and that ,the pokoe had given assistance <0 a new Captain Koepcnick. cally been completed on terms satisfac­ tory to the landlord and tenants alike. A most enthusiastic reception was ac­ cented several men who had been im­ prisoned in Limerick gaol for cattle driv­ ing on their return home in King's County. For Tyrone County Council, Messrs. P. McNenamin, J. P., Sira bane, and Mr. E T. Herdman, Sion House, have been relumed unopposed to represent Stra- banc div sion. Belturbet, County Cavan, is a prospe1 _ ous tittle town, having a population of about 1.800. Th.re ts a lar ge distillery, a convent school and several fine public buildings. On Ihe occasion of his marriage, M. J. Whelan has been presented by his colleagues in the Irish Railway Clear­ ing House, Dublin, with an inlaid wal­ nut bureau, made of native wood. The Wexford County Infirmary Com­ mittee have been unable to obtain a • nglo apptteatien lor the position, of maternity nurse in the Infirmary at a salarybf $100 per year. Dajpk 01 onnelR» piano y, *m in will excellent presarrstiOB, end is scluaMv «n dally use for teael ' In the PiescnWieh veen, Co. Kerry. Practical steps are now being taken far the improvement of Bally cotton Pier, in the interests of the promotion and development of Ihe fishing indus­ try in Ballyôatton Hay, County Cork. The Ursul'ne Convent in Waterford Is Hk* poorer by the death of one of the oldest mcmlbens of the Community in the person of «ether Mary Jdseph Christina, who died recently in her 73rd year. SHE HAD ONE. "Excuse me, rnsdnm," said the agent. "Bui have you a lawn mower?" "Sure, 1 married one," replied the wo­ man of the house, who was anxious to get back to the wash tub. --------- *--------- ANOTHER MONOPOLY. Mies De Young--"Stella tells me She has an engagement for every night next We?k " ( Miss De Playne--"I don't think that is rigid when there are so many girl* that can't get engaged at all" --------- *--------- •LORE IN LITTLE. Conceited people cannot see their own defects. Besides gathering no moss, a rolling- stone goes down hill. It's hard work paying for a thing jwcYc had the use of. It's not until a man lives to kern that die learns to live. Ignorance may be bliss, but bliss ts Ir.ol always due to ignorance. Many a man's belief in his superior wisdom makes a foal of him. Jf a girl is prelty, her knowledge <d Ihe fact is apt to spoil Ihe effect. DonT tell a man you are batter than lie is; prove to him that you ore. The road to success is strewn w-th. the bkektons of other men's failures. It's quite easy to forgive an enemy Vhen he is in a position to da you a Ifavor. How often some people are forced to stretch the truth to make both ends meet. S /mo men are anxious to earn money; while others are anxious merely to get it If you would get along, you must do well lo-day; it's no good waiting till to­ morrow. Only a woman can graciously permit a man to apologize for some injury she has dono him. HAIR TELLS TAIÆS. Hands, feet, eyes, fingers--all have teen veed as delimeters of character. And now it ts the turn of the hair. Dull black hair Is said to denote a jealous disposition and Y tendency to treachery The lighter Dm) color of tho hair, the more senslüvéHs the owner to criticism, and the more quick to feel real or fan­ cied injuries. The possessor of brown hair of a good deep color and firm tex- •ture is usually distinguished by good Judgment, good reasoning power, and plenty of common-sense. Women with red hair, though sometimes too impul­ sive and outspoken,-are, as a rule, truthful and honest, wifh fair common- sente. They are usually the brightest, sunniest, and gentlest of mortals. A woman with straight and '•unyielding" hair, particular!; '* J*""" 1 a firm and hi She Ie determln _______ __ obstinate, but ln the main extremely de­ pendable. ENGINEER'S WHITE LIE HIS DREAM IN THE BUNK HOUSE, AM» ITS EFFECT. Oe Once] Thought White Signalled a Clear Track, but Knows Bet- . ter Now. "Yes," said the fat engineer, "honesty is the best policy, though it sometimes^ has the deferred dividend clause attac^ first went runr.in' 1 Music isn't necessarily fragmentary because * comes In pieces. menti "Now, when I wasn't against tollin' a little white lie. White is supposed to be the signal for a| clear track, but, my young friend,! whenever you see a white lie starin' you] m the face, Just put that air brake in toe, 'mergency notch 'n' plug her. If you run by many white ones there's danger "1 had a habit when I first got an en­ gine of bein' a little careless, 'n' I ran by semaphore signais once or twice. I remember one time, after !'d dis overed my mstake of signals, of just hittin' the Water glass on the injector a sharp track with a hammer, breakin' Ihe water, glass n' fililn' the cab with steam, mak- in it mo>4 impossible to see, but not let- tin' enough of the vapor escape to scald you. "When called upon for an explanation of my not stoppin* at the signal, I just, 6aid that the waterglass busied 'n' l1 couldn't see till 1 put in a new glass. That served me in pçetty good stead once when I came within an ace of plug- gin* the caboose of a train ahead. I hadn't swung the excuse more'n once or twice before I came to be dubbed WATER GLASS BILL by the boys on the road. "One dreadful snowy night, as we lay, In the bunk shanty at the other end of the division awaitin' our turn out, Char­ ley Cobb got to tollin' fortunes from the tea leaves in tlie bottom of a cup from which he had been drinkin'. It got around to me. '"Well, Porlly,' sad Charley when he had gone through the formula, 'from the dope I get from these tea leaves I'm tip­ ped off that there's a big smashup corn­ in' yoiir way. Can't you see the big piles of wreckage? It's due soon, too. Kind of a funny oblong, tubelike object! ojl to one side which plays an important part in it. I can't seem to get the Mar­ cel waves of ttje wireless as to just what it means.',, " 'Humph!' puts in Ira Lewis, 'you're a bum huqcher." That's a water glass. TfiÉt's wftat that is. Bill never got into de yet that the water glass didn't "They afi joined in the laygh that fol- :he icily. Then I sank back on k to take a little needed, rest. boy came af- I it takes to tell down in the st freight. It lit, the wind 'n* 0 soon the call less time tba n my enginS Inked objfi a sure was an owfcsh n,4 snow cut tin' into ones face like so many •little needles. "1 got 'em away in goed shape tv; kept 'em goin' pretty perk, although the train pulled .hard. ATI the wblkj I kept] think In' about Charley Cobb's (teacup wireless of what lay in yiy path.', 1- "I had the side cab window open ,'nj order to gaze -eut occasionally to keep a line on whul was gotfiVon ahead* Just as we went over (be pftch of Any era hil! a cold blast of air struck the water glass 'n' she went snap like a piece ot clay pipestem, FILLIN THE GAB WITH STEAM. "'Itts happenin' just like rt was laid cut in the blueprint specifications.' 1 said to myself, grabbln' for Ihe throttle to shut off lha steam. "But the vapor escapin' from the water glass got so dense I could't see 'n it wak fairly parboilin' my flesh. 1 was unsuc­ cessful also in toyin' to locate the ato. brake handle. "Here wo were Ilyin* down Millers grade under full head of steam, me un­ able to see anything at all. Charley Cobb certainly had the correct dope. If 1 ever got safely out of that scrape I solemnly promised myself to be pretty careful in the future about semaphore feignais to' tell no Ik's of any color, no matter what happened, "A heavy gust of wind seemed to blow the sleam clear of the cab for half a second. In that imief 'space dead ahead I saw the five tail Lights of a caboose the red lamps fiashin' at me like a spark- lin ruby necklace. "Before I ootold wink an eyelash my locomotive stuck her nose right through that red rircle with a frightful crash. I was still fiyin' througli space when I 'el| a poundin' on the » les of my feet n* heard a gruff voice 16yin': " 'Come, Portly, come out of it. You're ce .led for your fust freight run now.' "There I'd fallen asleep 'n' divam< d nil that about running âway down Miller's HilFwith a cab full of steam. When I awoke I was all In a drippln* sweat. "Now say, you can bet 1 kept a sharp lookout for things on that trip n* took the tip from a tea cup 'n' dream book. No more breakin' water glasses for mine. I've always told the strict truth since, 'n' .I've never had any more trou­ ble el I her." ) HE WAS PREPARED. "Now* sir," shouted the cross exam­ iner, "fell the court bow far you were from the accused when he fired the shot." "Thirteen feet, seven and threc-qtiar- gr 1er inches," answered the witness. "Oh, come now," said the lawyer, "how can you tell to the fi action of an Inch?' "I knew some fool would ask me," re­ plied tlie other, "so 1 measured it." IV 1 •r> r* \ ASHAMED OF THE CUT. Mrs. Stubb reprovingly)--"John, I think you show a disregard for etiquette by appearing in your shirt sleeves." Mr. Stubb--"Bother etiquetlel thinking about cwmtorV Mr». Stubb--"Well, Mr. Brown le a man of culture. You don't see him ap­ pearing ln hi* abtrt sleeves." Mr. Stubb--"Well, I guess not Brown's wife makes his shirts." .1tR/V " " ■ -- ,4 J •/;A^ I