® THE SAVINGS Of this Bank provides a safe . place for your savings to accumulate, and the interest & No one remains poor who saves; weekly or monthly a small amount to add to a rich without doing so. THE BANK OF TORONTO ASSETS, $57,000,000. DEPARTMENT paid half-vearly helps. ~ Savings. Account. Few get eo KINGSTON BRANCH--107 PRINCESS ST. GEORGE B. McEAY, 5 HOWARD S. FOLGER INVESTMENT BROKER REAL ESTATE HIGH GRADE BONDS AND STOCKS { | Sy a 4 CLARENCE STREET | INSURANCE | MONEY TO LOAN : | we wEEee Training Horses If you have a colt not acting nice- ly. send him to Kingston Repository and put him in charge of R. Ww. Bmith, who will give him personal attention. R. W. SMITH, Mgr. Canada Life Assurance Company The only Canadian. Company whose olicles have doubled through profits igures how a polly will shape for you cheerfully given J. y O. Hutton, 18 Market 'Street. AUTOMOBILES FOR HIRE By Hour, Day or WeEk. Night or Day. Phone 815 MOORE'S GARAGE Agents tor Cadillaey Hudson & MeLaughlin Meter Oars, 'Hotel Frontenac EARLY BREAKFAST 9 to 6 a.m. For accommodation of people taking early boats: REGULAR BREAKFAST a ; 7109.30 am LUNCHEON 12 to 2 p.m. DINNER 6to 8 p.m. Engagement o Rings © A FEW MINUTES IN THR PRIVACY OF OUR "DIAM. | OND ROOM" WILL CONVINCE THE MOST SKEPTICAL THAT WE HAVE THE LARGEST AND FINEST SELECTION OF ENGAGSH- MENT RINGS IN KINGSTON TO CHOOSE FROM. DIAMONDS OR DIAMONDS IN' COMBINATION WITH PEARLS, RUBYS. ~~ SAP- , EMERALDS - OR BETTER VALUES ARE NOT OBTAINABLE ANY- WHERE. LET US PROVE R. J. RODGER (Formerly Spangenberg's) 347 KING STREET CREE An ELECTRIC IRON Saves you from drudgery on Ironing Day. No more headaches caused by working In overheated rooms, where it is necessary to have a coal or gas stove going to-heat ordinary irons. Iron wherever you have a lamp socket. Nothing hot but the iron. LET ME PLACE ONE IN YOUR "HOME ON TRIAL Without obligating you in any way. 'Phone or call. J. N. SCOTT. The Up-to-Date Electrician. 116 BROCK "STREET. 'Phone 12185, Rrowar's Reroy Reuer FOR SORE MUSCLES, SPRAINS and STRAINS, RUB DOWN WITH RADWAY'S READY RELIEF Apply the Relief. to the affected parts upmixed or dilated, according te the condition of tise surface and the nerve of tite sufferer: ASK FOR RADWAY'S AND TAKE NO SUBSTITUTE The Ideal Summer Beverage Is TEA The Empire's Favorite. f HOW IT Is DONE. You sometimes wonder how your friends keep their clothes looking so nice. If you ask them they will probably tell you they send them to Park. er's occasionally to be dry cleaned and pressed. R. PARKER & On, Dyers apd Cleaners, R 60 Princess St. Kingston, Oat. } Alteration Sale We Intend to take over rooms now occupied by Sparks & Spars, and in order to make these improve- Mmenits we must reduce our stock Buy your Furniture during this Sale. and save money. 16 per cent. to 20 per cent. of all Summer Furniture, Verandah Samp Chairs, Boat Chaire, Swings 25 per cent. off Baby Carriages. 18 per cent. off this season's lat- R. J. Reid, pee 517 FHT LEADING UNDRETAKE. THE DAY'S EPISODES LIPTON'S this \ THE DAILY BRITISH WHIG, MONDAY, AUGUST 12, 1913, i NOTES AND THINGS IA GENERAL. > -- ; Occurrences. in the City and Vicinity ~Other Brief Itemss of Interes. Mushrooms, at Cammoveky's. "lee cream bricks! Gisons. Waitin Swaese, Piano wet. Orders received at MeAulay's. Phone 564 Ihe pavements have been well wash- ed with ihe rain for the past week, i Ladies' up-Lo-date uressinusing. Terms miodersie. Miss A, hayes, Princess street. : The nonual tournament of the Thou sand Islands Yacht Club' will com mence Monday, at Alexandria Bay. ©. Usnmiuoawm, paso Luger, Kilig sweet. Leave orders ' at Auley's book store.' ° It is reported that the rains of the Past week have been doing a great deal to help along the bucky heat crop. "We. violet taloim, 200." Gibson's Residents of Alexandria Bay ara planning another flying meat for the island town for the first of Septem 21 Mo r. The New York Central railroad's &rvice' this vear has never "heen sur- passed ia the history of the Thou sand Islands. Many Kingstonians were out in the Harbor in small boats, Sunday after noon, when the Storm came up, and they received quite a drenching. "Films developed." Gibson's. | A meeting of the. civic utilities com {mittee has been called for this. af ternoon at four o'clock to award con- [tracts for extensions to the 'elec trical plant. The old stables at the Ottawa house, which formed one of the old land marks of the city, have just been torn down, to make way for the wholesale hardware of Dalton & Sons. Oyster plant, at Carnovsky's. Dome Deobie who did not know nough to-go home when they tho chance, received a thorough | arenching in Maodonald Park on Sua- {day afternoon, when the great down- po ™ oAame | The work of rebuilding the burned {area ot Thousand lsland- Park is un- der way. Four cottages are in the vourge of construction, other small buildings have Sprung up to serve until larger structures can be erect- * had "oa "Vest pocket kodak." Gibson's. A stock compgny is to Im formed to rebuild the Hotel Columbian, at | Thousand Island Park. The company will be separate from the assovia- tion. The cost af $200,000 will be raised to meet the cost of the new building. Great clearing sale at Prevost's, Brock street. Big reduction in price in the otder and ready-made clothing partment; also in the gents' furnish- RS to make room for fall and win- importations. ¥ The St. Lawrence River Concrete company has been formed and the sandstone cliffs between Thousand Island Park and Fine View will. be Adaveloned. Tt is said there is a sup ply for fifty years, and of the very Dest : "Vest pocket kodak." Gibson's. Col. 0. G, Staples, proprietor of the Thousand Island House, - Alexandria pay, enurtaihed a party aboard L'a vacht, the Nwreid, in a trip to King: ston Saturday. In the party were wnsul general and Mrs. Berghaus, of Holland, and two daughters BETWEEN LTY AND SEVENTY When Majority of Great Men Have 'Done Best. An interesting study of age and 'men- tal virility was made not long ago by Dr. Earl Barnes, an educator until re cently connected with Stanford Uni versity. A list was made of 400 of the most noted men of all time from 'al fines of activities--statesmen, painters, svarriors, poets, writers of history, fic {tion and other prose productiens, Op- janes each name was placed the name) life-time ; battle, his greatest of the greatest work bf this" greatest picture gredtest poem or' book. | After the list had been submitted to competent critics and had been several revised, there was added after cach person's name the decade of his {lute in which his greatest work was ze- icomplished, 'with this astonishing re- sult: Of the world's greatest achieve- iments 35 per cent were the work of men between 60 and 70, 23 per cent. be- {tween the ages of 70 and 80, and in the years after the 80th 6 per cent. : that is, 64 per cent. af the great things of his- tory were hed by men who [had passed th year. Between i89 and 60 the percentage is 25 per cent. between 40 and 50, 10 pfr cent, and be flow Pr. Osler's dead 40, the negligible quantity of one 1 I To the f young 1 asses achievement | require extreme of physical power, le xemy in the conquests of Alex 1 of fander the beantiful expression of typified ¥ric by such poets as | Shelley and Keats The fact remaine however, that the best products of life come from man inthe full maturity of intellectial powers. net from Paw ahd inekperienced youth. This is as it should be timing accomp their credit of an sod two which and poetry A SONG OF POPPIES. Virna Sheard, In Canadian Magazine I love red poppies! Imperial red poppies! Sun-worshippers are they: Gladly as trees live through a hundred summers : nis They live ane little day. I love red poppies! Impassiomed scar- let ponpies! Ever their strange perfume Seems like an essence brewed by fairy © people ; From an immortal bloom. 1 love red popoies! Red, silken, sway- . ing poppies! Deep in their hearts they keep ic cure for woe--a draught of : Jethe-- A lotus-gift of sleep. 1 love red poppies! Soft silver-stem- med. red popoies, : That from the rain and sun Gather & balm to heal some earth-born "1 sorrow, ; When their glad day is done, Ha woman knows how to manage her husband she ales knows how to im Ti k ing that she is. keep him from knowing in, Ruistiny ol Her doing it. LAKE ONTARIO PARK TO-NIG AND EVERY NIGHT at 8.30 Matinee Wednesday at 3.30. BIG FREE SHOW VAUDEVILLE and PICTURES. Wednesday---Children, 1c on Cars RICHELIEU and ONTARIO LINES St. Lawrence River 8. Boat Co BULLETIN THURSDAY, Aug. 15. 2.30 pn. AMERICA tours the Islands, 50¢. FRIDAY, Aug. 16, 8 am., AM. ERICA for Gananoque, Brockville and Ogdensburg, 30c¢ return. SATURDAY, Ang. 17, 2.30 p.m. AMERICA tours the Islands, 50c. SUNDAY, Aug. 18 7.30 a.m. apd 2 p.m. AMERICA, regular trips to Cape Vincent, SOe return, MEALS ON ALL TRIPS. "REWARD $3.00 Reward will be paid for nfor- mation that will lead to the where about of James Sutherland, who di;- appeared from my place on Aug ¥ 1912 JOBEPH HAWKEY, Glenvale, 'Ont BE -- Have you ever tried FRANCO-AMERICAN SPAGHETTI a la Milanaise (Tomato Sauce). Simply Delicious! 15¢ and 23¢ Per Can, Ask Tor It. HONE WOR pe---------- Montreal "Hello Girls" Faster Then Toronto's Maidens. Montreal Herald Montreal's "hello girls; inthe matter of smart telephone work, easily hold their own with the best trained London, Chicago or 'Teronto opera tors. This is evidenced the result of recent tests made at the local main oflice, figures concerning which wera made public by J. A. Anderson, traftie chiet of the Hell Pelephone Co. The Montreal tests, which are based on an average ofV3.000 separate and distinct connections, indicate that®the Montreal operators answer a eall in a little! less than tour seconds aftey the caller has taken down the receiver, The standard time as laid down by the Bell Telephone Co. for this -oper- acton is four sécomds, exactly, but the digure is often bettered, some opera tors being able to answer a call ' a little over three seconds. During busy months, Mr. Anderson pointed out, the average time taken by an operator to answer a eall was five seconds, while the average time taken to answer a call and obtain the party called, where there are no trunk connections to he made, was he tween fifieen and seventeen seconds. When tests wera 'taken of ealls made from one exchange to another, the average time consumed in making the complete connection worked out at 21.6 seconds. >* by In 'Toronto the same "trunk" aver. age in the month similar (6 that . in which the Montreal tests were taken worked out at an average of 15.4 so conds, but them it was pomted out the operators in Toronto had not nearl, 80. many lines to look after their cousins hy profession in the Montreal main office. Observations made upon 50,000 telé phone calls in Chicago and London recently disclosed the fact that Chi cago operators on an average could answer a call in 3.1 seconds, but to, make a complete connection consumed 25.4 seconds, or over four seconds mote than the time taken by Mon- treal operators. . The London tedts showed that Eng Hsh operators which are the lowest of all, required 5.1 seconds, to answer a call, and 28.6 seconds to obtain the number asked for, In Toronto the average for answer mg a call 1s 4.9 seconds. as A Lengthy Stock-in-Trade. Y People's CVVVTIVOIPPPPN CPC e TIT ETIN CONDENSED ADVERTISING RATES First insertion le a word. Each con- secutive Insertion thereafter half cent 8 word, Misimem charge for! LON STR. THOUSAND Ogdensburg, or oth. a Fi EIGHT LARGE LANTEIIAN, a splendid thing woo 8 summer cottage, $1 ench, at Taurk's, "hone 705 . one insertion, 25¢; three losertions, TIRE SOc; six, $1; oue month, $2. { Fr A GE ------------EETEEEECC------ | HELP WANTED, CHAIN OFF AT TOMORILY ay night, betweer Fralick's 1 Hamsville, and. Bibby » Finder kindly return io Age ! BUSINESS CHANORS. GIRLS FOR STEADY POSITIONS AT me tere ------------------ the Kingston Paper Box Co, '"BIANYONE ANYWHERE CAN START Street est ! & mail order buginess at homie; no z a. 3 canvassing. be your own' bose HT HOUSE- | Send for free hooklet: tells how YOUNG MAID FOR LIG ¢ * . Frank Singil2- | Heacock. 2.96% Lockport, N.Y work. Apply to Mrs ton, 183% Alfred i n ABOUT 1# YEAUS! FINANCE AND INSURANOR. ming busi- 3 GENERAL INSURANCE. -- T. o - *, Kent, ellington . YR Fire Lith Accident tamanten Mt. Policles fssued. WANTED, A BOY, old. to le=vw =i a : ness. Apply at Weese's, AT ONUE, A GOoD GENERAL Third, 12 Wellington Street. BATEMAN Ed GARDINER. --FIRF, Life, Accident, toms Insurance and Cue Broker; Estate and oney to Loan: a share of your usiness solicited. 87 Clarence Street, Kingston. 'Phone 306. FRONTENAC LOAN AND INVEST ment lety; established 1363 president, Sir Richard Cartwright; money issued on city and farm Sroperties, municipal and country ebentures; mortgages purchased: deposits' received and jasavest a lowed, 8. C MeGlll, Managing Director. 87 Clarence Street OUNG GIRL TO CARE FOR CHILD. UNG an assist with Housework Apply, between 7.30 and 8 pm, al 157 Alfred Street. YOUNG GIRL, for the posi, Apply to BRIGHT, ACTIVE about 16 years of age tion of assistant clerk "Business," Whig office A INTELLIGENT JVERSON MAY earn $100 monthly corresponding for nNEWSpApPers; no canvassing. Send for particulars, Press Syndl. cate, 3,989 Lockport, N.Y, i AN LIVERPOOL, LONDON, AND GLORR Fire Insurance Company, Available assets, $61,187,215. In addition t which the policyholders have for security the unlimited llability oy all the stock-holders. Farm and city property insured at lowest possible rates. Before renewing old or giving new business get rates from Strange & BSirange, Agents 'Phone 328 ' MEDYOAL. FREDERICK A. CAYR, SPRCIAL- fet, Nose. Throat' and Ear, 12} Wellington Street, corner Johnson Hours: 9 to 1,2 to 6, 7 to 8. Bun- nv, 2 to 4, and by appointment 'Phone S14, CAPABLE OLD COUNTRY DOMES. - tics, Beotch, English and Irish, party arrives. abqut Aug 6th, Sept MANICURING. 2nd and weekly after. The Gu 71 Drummond Street, Montreal, and 47 Pembroke Street, Toronto OF GOOD WEAVE#fS wanted, at once, for narrow looms constant employment Apply 'on Paris Wincey Mills, Limited, Paris Ont. : TWENTY-FIVE a men for harvest and three dollars per day Be at Outlook, Sask; last August, A NUMBER STRONG, Wi and week In WANTS GOVBRENMENT Mail Maf]l Clerks, - Clty excellent salaries; com. sufficient; parti. Franklin Institute, Rochester, Y CANADIAN Rallway Carriers; mon education culars free Dept. 512 R., MISS DOYLE, FORMERLY FROM King and Clarence Streets, has re. moved her manicuring parlors to over Mr. Coates' Jewelery Store, Princess Street. Entrance, Ragot Street WANTED--GENERAL. | | NICE CLEAN RAGS FOR WIPING | machinery: will pay good price for | PERSONALS. sama, British hig Publishing ! N Company. stem HAIR, MOLES, WARTS, BIRTH. { marks afid-all growths and skin blemishes permanent! without ears' experi. ence, Dr. Elmer J. Lake, Eye, Ear, Nome, Throat and Skin necialist, 268 Bawor Street. removed tan , a | BY TWO LADY TEACHERS, TWO or So Furnished Rooms, - bedroom and | gitting-room, with or withou: | board, from Beptember t July Apply, at once, io Box Whig | office i ------ ' SHOE REPAIRING OF EVERY DE- UPHOLSTERER. scription; first class work: leather only used; one trial Builice, BARK "Yur. répairs Scott's; 206 Barrie Street, cor. Clergy West, yf H 23, « J. GAVINE, UPROSTERIN ress ranovating Drop a card or $ call 218 Bagot Street. TAKE NOTICE, THAT | WILL BUY | all kinds of second-hand furniture | and stoves: will pay highest prices; see me before anyone else J. Thompeon. 833 Princess Streer, | ------ next St. Andrew's Church. [HENRY PP. SMITH, ARCIIITECT, ETC., 268 King Street: 'Phone 346, GENTLEMEN TO BRING THEIR Cloth and have it made up Into u 0 | wn to-date sults ice and yor =| manship guarantee to please, | Pl easing and Rebairion done on | Phone 608, : the shortest notice, omas Callo- | way, 131 p] treet | POWER & SON, ARCNITECTS, MER- Bibby's IR . > 0g chadts' Rank RBulidines, cornet Brock and Wellington Streets, { Aron a eard WANTED TO RENT OR PURCHASE | on - a dwelling house. suitable for a creche where children may ba} cared for during the absence of | their parents at work; Frontenac) ..._ or Cataraqul wards preferred. Aj | COA ply ta J. B. Walkem, 93 Clarence | } Street, or G. B McKay, Bank of | 1 gag for conktng? Drop a card Toronto. i to David Marshall, 101 Queen | Street, for prices on gae Installs ARCHITECTS. NEWLANDS & SON, ARCH). tects, etn Offices, 268 Bagot %t BUSINESS NOTICE. om' PAY Is when vou car TEACHERS WANTED. QUALIFIED TEACHER FOR 8.5. Ne. 6. Hinchinbrooke; duties to ean menca after summer vaeatisn Protestant and male preferred. Ap. ply, stating splary and gualifica- tions, te Geo, A. mith, c., Par. am, Ont. TRY CHARLES ANDRE'S ixer for ur cement walks and all kinds of concrete work; will bandle any size gravel; 1 also 4» plastering and repair chimney "2 William Stret -- CEMENT OSTEOPATHY. 258 | BE alrifig and carpet work, halr mat- 300 LOADS OF RARTH; ALSO RIGhT horse power motor sdirs-t rent) Apply, E Wathen, 47. Street "Phone. 854 ¥ MOTOR SKIFF 4 in K thouse (If desiradle, cheay 8 Barrie Street 20 FEET, 3 nr. 4 arder completa; Ap- HAPPY THOUGHT RANGE, A GAS Range: also Quartered Oak. Side board: will be sold cheap, owner feaving city Apply 212 Albert Street . AWNINGS, PORCH COtR- tailing, BOAT COVERS ,'WAGGON Covers, Cork Lifebelts and Cork Fenders for Motor Boats. Drop a card to Capt. Joseph Dix, Sail. maker, 211 Nelson Street TENTS, STORRS, WITH dwellings attached: good luos- tions in city; also general stare and dwelling In thfiving vilage nearby. Apply to T, J. Lockhart, tario Chambers, Clarence Stet, Kingston, Ont. FOUR GROCERY TENTA CANORS, FLAG WNING fob fishing tackle, camping outfits, marine supplies, lunch haskats, English raincoats, everything In canvas, kit bags, silk tents. spray hoods, motor boat supplies, Frank W. Cooke, 38 Clarence St. 'Phone 831 or 23 TO LEY, ¥ FURNISHED ROOMS AT 201 Street % KiNG ArT CAR TO WIRE BY HOUR OR ay. 'Phone 743 , FURNISHED RESIDENCE, APPLY at McCann's Real Estate Office, $2 Brock Street, near Wellington St. LARGE FURNIS or without t venlences near Wellington Btreet ID ROOMS, WITH ; all modern con. City Park EL] A NEW SIX.ROOM BUNGALOW, FUR. nished, at Eastyiew Park five miles, fram Kingston Apply to Rev. J D. Boyd, Eric PO BRIGHT, AIRY, FURNISHED ROOMS can be had at 321 University Avenue; convenlen{ to cars; gas and all modern conveniences SIORAGRE FOR PURNITURE, CLEA dry, airy rooms, sboslutely m proot; dur 250 Jook and key. : orage, ueen Mt, "Phone 5260 .. y OFFICE, CONVENIENT AND MOD. with use of vault TED HOUSES, SEVERAL IN Be lncatfons WANTED, TO RENT, STORAGE FOR Car Load Lots BATEMAN & GARDINER, a7 CLARS Ont ence, 'Phone 396. Kingetor DENTAL. A. FE, KNAPP, RA, L.D.&, D.D.S moved to '288% rrincess Str I SPARKS AND SpPanwe, DENTISTS 210 1.2 Princess Stireot, Kingston, 'Phone 246 PR. ©. C. NASH, DENTIST; DR Welcker Ansistant, 132 Btreet 'Phone 735 Lo Princess 8. H, SIMPSON, L.D.S, DDN, Ist, corner Princess and Entrance on Bagot Street phone 626 NENT Pagnt Tele. OCEAN STEAMSHIP AGENCY. TRANSATLANTIC LINERS, ALL CLASS. es. C B, Kirkpatrick, Agent, 4% Clarence Bireet, Kingston. Phone | [| "HEALTH WITHOUT DRUGS"--R. G. Asheroft, DO, 138 Wellington St, opposite the Past Office Office hours: 10 to 12; 2 to 4. and by ap- ointment Consultation free Phone 447, UALIFIED LADY TEACHER (Protestant) for 88 N. 8, Town ship of Camden, Connty of Ad dington, situated in he Village of Colebrook; school small; salary, | $500 per annum; duties to com. mencea Repl. 3rd, 1013 Apply, A C. Warner, Sac, Colebrook, Ont DRESSMAKING. SITUATION © WANTED. PIANIST WANTS y theatre or music Write Box WW, iN once CUTTING ete, at . Parlors, 3 LADIES TAUGHT ~easure. designing Elder's Dressmaking Princess Ftrect POSITION store at Whig office a ee The late Will McConnell,"an advance agent and a Broadway character of much renown, was standing in the baggage room of a railroad station in company with Mel Stoltz, another advance agent. They were waiting to have their trunks checked. Presently a! baggage handler a oe a sample trank, which, according to Stoliz, was avout nine feet long and about two feet wide. "For the love of Mike I" sisculated Stoltz, "what do you suppose the owner of that trunk sells ** "I don't know," said McConnell: "but from the shape of that package | I'd say bowling alleys." Kansas City | Times, oi eis ! Boat Racing in the Old Days. : Boat racing was a very 'different al-| fair from what it is now, when the first - hoat race between Oxford and | Cambridge came off at Henley ,n 1829. Oxford won, wearing "blue , checks" | and sporting black straw hats with a board blue ribbon, while . Cambridge | was in white with pink waist bands and high hats. The weights of the acing boats used at this time may be | judged from the fact that wien they were converted from eight to six jars, with seats for added, they could easily carry twenty persons.-- London Chronicle, A girl may learn 'to deive by going | riding with » man who can't manage a horse with one hand. Ask a friend for his honest opinion of you and you'll likely not care for if miter you get it. The faney work of destiny rans to kniiting souls from the tnnglody A Model Chauffeur. CATERER. m---------------- mor------ CATER TO PARTIES, RALLS, Weddin Breakfaris, Banquets, ete. also Rent Dishes ahle Linens and Biiverwnre Reid & Hambrook, corner Unfon and Divi. we LEGAL. OUNNINGHAN & MUDIE, BARRY | ers and Boli-itors. Law Office, 11 | Clarence Btreel. Xinget *» s Harpers Weekly 1 se," maid Mrs, Dn Jones, while Mrs. Van Tyle was calling, "that you ave a Chinese chaufieur. Do you find him satisfactory 7° "He's perfectly fine," said Mrs, Van Tyle. "To Pegin with his yellow com plexion is such that.at the end of a long, dusty ride he doesn't show any spots, and then when | am out in my limousine 1 have his pig-tail stuek through a little hole in the plate glass window and use it as a sort of bell rope to fell him where to stop." SWI Nut "We Guarantee - 3: Pe ------------------ 4 Every Load." Method in His Stupidity. . Philadelphia Record The Scotchman could not find his ticket. On the conductor's second round it was still miss, ng. "What's that in your mouth ?" asked. Sure enough, there Wwas the missing ticket. ind Fhe conductor punched it and went on his way. "Ah, weel," said Sandy, in reply to! his fellow-passenger's baeter. "I'm nae sae absent minded as ve wad think. Yon war a very old. ticket, and I just sucked off the date." Efficiency Rewarded. Kansas Clty Journal fm his recent trip to = he : Gave Herself Away. Bastian Transcript do-What would you do, George, if You were left a widower ? Bui---0h, 1 suppose the same as you would if you were left 'a- widow io Wifa--~You horrid wretch !| And vou told me vou could never eare for any- | body flee. ---- nic On Brink of Real Life. Chicago Record-Herald "Now that you and George are sep arated, 1 suppos intend to re tan to your parents "Oh; mercy. no | I'm going to have enough alimony to enable te 10 in- habit Pullman cars and steamships nearly all ihe time." you Bertram Watker says the Pullman por: ter acted as though he wanted some: thing from the Passengers. What do you want *' Bertram ask- od kim. boss," replied the porter, "AH right." said Bertram. "Bors thee Plier.' anything you see fit to give, The liner Frankfuit collided at wea with an. asks freaghier. Nobexdy was drowned wn lot's give the porter And they did, i S SCRANTON COAL Highest quality, carefully screened, promptly delivered. Stove - $7.50 per ton $7.75 per ton SWIFT'S The Lawyers Knew, Wichita lawyers are #1 talking {about the way Wallace 1. Hakor, whe was found guilty last week in the dis trict oourt of welling mortgaged pro. perty, showed hie ignorance mar- ried life The prosecuting attorney was trying to show that Baker wasn't married. He asked Baker (he follow: ing questions ; "Did 'you ever send vou wife dresses 7' "Neu, | sent hor dour dresses." "What kind of dresses did you send. er 7 "1 semi hoe one three common dresses.' "Haw muck did vou good dress, Mr. Baker "Oh, 1 goons about 8450" The lawvers put Mr. Baker down ther and there as an anmaivied man and a poor guesser, i or any . good dress and pay dor, the