TH SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 26, 1921. C--O matter than beef." Bakers Cocoa 4 WHY I MURDERED MY LANDLORD A Plain Statement by a Tenant. By Stephen Leacock 1 { | As it is now pretty generally {known that I have murdered the | landlord of our apartments, [ feel { that I should like to make some sort and all who myst (CEU SENN coun have a reat de a there 1s no need to do this. = But my J {own feelings on the question were so of tissue building Ho he th Esme: material 10 repair ut eck the waste caused nether customary mor denirabie. by physical and men ? ou have killed your landlord, } . 0 i Hi A i = fal labor. It is delicious, "QUI == pure and wholesome, and is made by a perfect mechanical process, without the use of chemicals, so preserving the exquisite flavor, aroma and he sald, "very good, what of it?" I | asked him whether it was not, in a color of the high érade cocoa beans Walter Baker & Co. 11d. MONTREAL, CANADA D 1s for robust men 1 told him that I felt that the affair Was putting me in a somewhat false | position; that the congratulations { that I have been receiving from my { friends and even from strangers were perhaps, if the full circumstances were known, hardly merited: fn | short, that I should like a certain | publicity given to the whole sur- roundings of the act. | "Very good," said the Commis- sioner, "you are entitled to fill out a fform if you wish .» do so.' He searched among his papers. "Did you say," he asked, "that you have | killed your landlord, or that you are going to kill him."" *Y have killed _ (hlm.," I said firmly. "Very good," | said the Commissioner, "we use sep- { arate forms." He gave me a long 1 | printed slip with bane to fill in-- | my age, occupation, reasons (it any) | { for the killing, etc., ete. ' | "What shell I put," I asked, | "under the heading of REASONS?" j "I think," he answered, "that it | will be better 'o put simply, 'no rea- | sors,' or, if you like, the "Usua. rea- | sons." With that he bowed me polito- | ly out of the office, expressing, as he { did so, the hope that I would bury the landlord and not leave him lying round. i | To me the interview was unsatis- | factory. I am well aware that the | Commissioner was within the strict | nicety of the law. No-doubt if every | ease of the shooting of a landlord {| were made a matter of enquiry 'the result would be embarassing and ted- | ious. The shooting is generally done { in connection with a rise of rent, and nothing more needs to be said about {it. "I am increasing your rent an- other twenty dollars a month," says the landlord. "All right," says the tenant, "I'll shoot you." Sometimes he does, sometimes he forgets to. sense, a matter for the law to deal ORCHESTER, MASS, * | with. He shook his head. "In what | way?" he asked. B® BOOKLET OF CHOICE RECIPLS SENT FREE "ummm---- a - i! i» --- + HT - 1 -r, -- = Tet ~~ Ler and How Quickly Youve Done It Are you thinking of doing your floors at house cleaning But my own case was quite differ- time ? ° | quid | ent. And the proposal of the Ten- the magic floor varnish which gives a lasting lustre that | ants Lasgue of (ineart name of elt) d A { to give me a gold medal next Satur- defies rough and constant wear, is easy to a | day has brought things to a head pply, and dries uickly. It can be kept clean with a i ne cloth without destroying the le { loss. Equally good for wood, lino- ; i eum or oilcloth. On sale at your dealers. 'Walkerville \ Ontario Stops Coughs Right Off You don't have joi long to grow steadily better as up the cold and com of its pleasant' Sold By All Druggists. Prepared by National Drug and Chomical Company of Comads, Limited. is an excellent home children because R.A. W.WINNETT D4NTAL SURGEON. Corner of Johnsum and Wellington Streets Phone 8638 NADRIUCO * S47 By ou I et a St SE 7d you take ITE ed C AR 01770305), sd taste, n Angrove's Repair ° Seales, Talking Machines, Bleyeles, aby Ca Lawn Mowers, ete, We do repair work right and guarantee satisfaction, 197 WELLINGTON STREET Bissell and De Laval. a Farmers Attention Save time and worry by looking over your machinery NOW, and ordering repairs needed from Deering, McCormick, Peter F. M. CLOW Phones 1015w and 1436, Hamilton, In some parts of the United States Ratural cement rocks are found Which contain nearly the proper pro- ' portions of materials to produce Portland cement; bat even in these localities it is generally necessary, to add either limestone or shale In order to get the proper mixture. {in that and forces an explanation, I recall distinctly the time, now some five years ago, when my wife and I first rented our apartment. The landlord showed us over it himself. And I am free to confess that there was nothing in his manner, or very little indeed, to suggest anything out of the normal. Only one small in- cident stuck in my mind. He apoli- gized for the lack of cupboard space. "There are not enough cupboards in this flat," he said. It made me slight- ly uncomfortable to hear him speak way. "But look," I said, "how large and airy this pantry is. It is at least four feet each way." He shook his head, and red sated that the cupboards were small. "I must build in better ones," he sald. Two months later he built in new cupboards. It gave me a shock of surprise--a touch of the uncanny-- to notice that he did not rlise the reat. "Are you mot raising the reat because of the cupboards," I asked. "No, he said, "they only cost me fifty dollars." "But, my dear fellow," I objected, "surely the interest on fifty dollars is sixty dollars a year?" He admitted this but said that he would rather not raise ha remt; thinking it over I (ecided that his conduct might be due to incipient paresis or coagulation of the arteries of the head. At that time I bad no dea of killing him. That came later. I recall no incident of importance till the spring of the year following. My landlord appeared unexpectedly one day yith apologies for intruding (a fact which of itsel? seemed sus- | picious) and said thet he proposed | to repaper the entire apartment. I expostulated in vain. 'The paper," I sald, * is only ten years old." "it i3,," he sald, "but wallpaper has gone up double its value gidce that time." "Very good; then," I said firmly, | "you must raise the rent twenty dol- | lars a month for the paper." "I shall not," he answered. The incident led | to a distinct coolness between ue for | some months. | The next episodes were of 4 more | pronounced character. Everybody | recalls the great increases of rent | (one hundred percent in each case) | in 1916 and 1917, due to the terrific | rise in building costs.. My landlerd, | in both these instances, refused to | raise the rent of my apartment. "The i cost of building," I sald, "has in- creased one hundred percent." "Very | good," he answered, "but I am not | building. I have always been getting | ten per cent. of my investment in this building, and I am still getting it." "Think of your wife," I said. | "I won't," he answered. "It is your duty," I went on, "to think of her. Let me tell you that only yesterday I | saw in the papers a letter from a | landlord, one of the most beautiful | letters I ever saw (from a landlord) | in which he sald the rise in the cost | of building materials compelled him | to think of his wife and children. It | was a touching appeal. "I don't care," my landlord ans- | wered, "I am not married." "Ah," I sald, "Not married." It was, I thiak, at this moment that the idea first oc- | curred to'me that the man might be put out of the way. | There followed the episode of No- vember, 1918. My readers will re- member the fifty per cent. of rents | made to celebrate the Armistice. My | landlord refused to join in it. This lack of patriotism in the fellow irri- | tated me greatly. The same thing happened at the time of the raise of | rents that was instituted to celebrate | the return of Marshal Foch to Paris, | and the later rise--twenty-five per | cent, if I remember rightly--that | was made to welcome the overseas | soldiers home. It was purely a pat- riotic movement, done in a spontan- eous way without premeditation. 1 | have heard many of the soldiers say i that it was their first welcome home | and that they would never regret it, | It was followed a little later bythe | rise in rents held as a welcome to the | young Prince of Wales, No better | congratulation could have been plan- ned as towards thé ruler of a great empire, to whom the stability and value of propetty must be a course of the keenest satisfaction. My landlord, alas, remained out- side of all this. He made no increase | in his rent. "I have," he said, "my | ten per cemt., and that is enough." I know now that the paresis or co-'! agulation must hate overwhelmed one entire lobé or hemisphere of his head. I was meditating action. The crisis came last month. A sharp rise in rent had been very properly instituted to counterbalance the fall in the German matk. Jt was based quite evidently on the soundest business reasoning. If the fall in the mark is not countered in this way, it is plain that we are undone, The cheap German mark will enable the Germans to take away our houses. I walted for three days, looking ir vain for a notice of increase in my rent. Then I went to visit my landlord In his office., I admit that I was armed. But in extenuation I want to say that I knew that I had to deal with an abnormal, aberrated man, one-half of whose brain was now co- agulated. I wasted no words on preliminar- les. "You have seen," I sald, "this fall of the German mark." "Yes," he answered, '"'what of it?" "Simply this," I said. "Are you "Half a cent won't go far wards \ - 8 mew kitchen utensil nowadays. Yo taf Vl-Pesk will make a logky pot or hettle 4 new article. ~ any tools with Vol-Peck--it is as easy to we fop o leak of cent's worth eat You dent a pulty--it 0 ex dealer's for 25¢ or direct from us, postage paid every any size in two minutes. E DAILY BRITISH WHIG:. When Baby Complains. I or di : os he wil In ething wrong. SO rely do not act are the ARE MANY WAYS a baby has of expressing avy pain ion from its normal condition of health and happiness. A short irritated cry. Restlessness, a constant turning of the head fretful. In these and other ways a baby tells ost mothers know that a disordered stomach, or bowels that or irregularity you there is cause of most of baby's sufferings. A call for the doctor. is the first thought, but in the event of any delay there should be ready at hand "a safe remedy Castoria And remember this: such as Fletcher's Castoria. : has been used for baby's ailments for over "ited the good will of the family physician in a measure not equaled by any other baby's medicine because of its harmlessness and the 30 years and has mer- ts achieved. Castoria is essentially a hays remedy and not a cure- all for every member of the family. What might help jou is too often dangerous when given to a babe. Joo DROPS MEE LB 1] -- --_-------- going to raise my rent or are yoo not." "No," he said doggedly, "I am not." I raised the revolver and fired. He was sitting sideways to me as I did so. 1 fired, in all, four shots. I | could see through the smoke that | one, at least, of the shots had cut | his waistcoat into strips, a second | had ripped off his collar, while the third and fourth had cut through his f suspenders at the back. He was| visibly in a state of collapse. It was | doubtful if he could reach the street. | But even if he could it was cerfain ! that he couldn't walk upon it. I left him as he was, and reported, | as I have said, to the police. | It the Tenanhts' League medal is given to me, 1 want it to be with a full understanding of the case. | --STEPHEN LEACOCK. | (Copyright, 1921, by The Domin- | fon News Bureau, , Limited, Mont- real.) All the Ford Plants To be Running Soon Detroit, Mich., Feb, 25.--"It 1s now only a question of a few weeks before our plants will be in full oper. ation." . Henry Ford made this statement in elaborating his announcement wy saying that orders for between 7%,- 000 and 79,000 cars have been ro- célved at the Highland Park plant for the month of March. Industrial} wheels got well unaer way in the blastyfurnace and tractor plants at the River Rouge this weex, Mr. Ford added. Between 15.000 and 20,000 men are employed at these shops when production is nor- | mal. To Join Leper Colony. | New York, Feb. 26.--Intending to | pass the next seven years in the le- per colony at Java, seven Salvation Army missionaries left New York yesterday for San Francisco where they will sail March 4th, for the Dutch East Indies. The party inclu- des six women and one man. Two are nadves of England, two from Hol- land, two from Sweden and one from Norway. More Brains, Less Wood Pulp. (Woodstock Sentinel-Review) According to 'an advertising an- nouncemést by the Chidago Tribune, to produce the newsprint required for an average Sunday issue of that paper, fifty-four acres of timber, twenty-one tons of sulphur, six hun- dred and sixty-five tons of coal and sixty- three thousand electric horse power he Sed, All of which re- 8 made by a well- known Canadian on ome occasion, that the newsprint srtuation might be improved by using more brains ana less pulp-wood in the making of newspapers. U.S. congress will in all likelihood send the Emergency Tarif bill to the president. : President Wilton will ride with President-elect Harding to the capi- tol on March 4th. \ Children Cry For : 4 Let's Think It Over. There is such a thing as seying®™ss'much on any subject, and the "grand-stand" talker soorér or later becomes a bore. The truth is flways welcomed, and the truth reiterated and confirmed is more than welcome--it reaches your innermost soul. Fletcher's Castoria is all its advertising has claimed for it. Scrutinized by the microscope of public opinion and used for over thirty years it stands without a peer in the hearts of thoughtful, cautious, discerning Mothers. And once used, mother love--there is no substitute" for mother love--will scorn to try a "'substitute" or a *'just-as-good"', Mashuerading under many names drugs that are injurious to the tender babe have found their way into some households, but the light of experience soon casts them out. Are they cast out before it is too late? MOTHERS SHOULD READ THE BOOKLET THAT IS AROUND EVERY BOTTLE OF FLETCNER'S CASTORIA GENUINE CASTORIA Awwayrs Bears the Signature of o THE CENTAUR COMPANY, NEW YORK ©ITY. CROWN LIFE | | Striking Features of the Year 1920 Unprecedented volume of business. Heavy cash collections-- premiums and interest. Low cancellation rate. Low expense ratio. Increase in rate of interest earned. Favorable mortality experience. 7. Increase in Policyholders' Surplus. It will pay you to insure in this sound, aggress- ive, rapidly expanding Canadian Company. We have a policy to suit your needs. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. \ Business men who would like to undertake life insurance work are invited to correspond with us. The opportunities are rapidly expanding. We have a very attractive proposition to offer. CROWN LIFE INSURANCE CO, TORONTO « Compiete Report will be mailed on request. 87 W. H. Penwarden, 120 Colling wood 8t., Kingston lh w NA SYRUP |& OF TAR / & COD - LIVER OIL | | | Ey Coughs, Cold bi [A C'S SYRUP i Srp oghen tonic