~ - - THURSDAY, AUGUST 25. 1931; ---- = ---- . - THE BRITISH WHIG [ SANITY WHEN SWIMMING. | want her to come up with mie!' : 88TH YEAR. { Scarcely a day passes without the | Winnie went upstairs as slowly as | announcement of the death of some | Possible. | one we know, while he or she is seek- | THE DAILY BRITISH WHIG. SOO "Oh," she said, turning a wrathlful THE POET. PHILOSOPHER HEL] J Published Dally and SemidWeekly > HE BRITIS WHIG PUBLISHIN » TIS: LIMITED as Managing-Director TELEPHONES; Business Office .. . Editorial Roomy ., Job Office SUBSCRIPTION RATES: (Daily Edition) One year, delivered in city One year, if paid ip advance .... One year, by mail to rural offices One year, to United States .......3.00 (Semi-Weekly Edition) One year, by mall, cash 0 One year, if not pald in advance One year, to United States $1.5 OUT-OF-TOWN REPRESENTATITES E Calder, 22 St. John St, Montreal » W. Thompson ,...,.100 King Bt. Ww. Toronto. Letters to the Editor are published only over the actual name of the writer, a Attached is one of the best job printing offices in Canada. The circulation of THE BRITISH WHIG is authenticated by the ABO Audit Bureau of Circulations. Ld 4 Almost everything has and downs except taxes, its - ups Prosperity never hits « man when be is down in the montu, ------n Open discussion ofthe open doar may avoid an open break, Genius is one part inspicaiton and bine parts perspiration, And yet a fat man doesn't appear es ridiculous in a pathing suit as he does in a rage. 2 The soviet authorities have decid- ed to take a chance on letting some of the starving eat, f \ - Ficnic: = An occasion when one take: ovt a few bites to 2at and brings back many-bies to scratch. ei -- It was a remarkable war in many ways, and now even though peace has come the charge continues with unabated fury. Better travel the road back to normalcy while you ean. Ford is turning out a jitney every seven min- The vacationist discovers that ev- én among the most primitive scenes there is somebody who knows mod- sera methods of charging, dls A New York doctor says that as civilization progresses women grow uglier. Maybe that is why so many men persist in acting like heath- _ens, oy It the nations are to be content With "reductions of armaments," the conference will probably forbid the Wearing of spurs . and little tin $words, ------ Here's one married woman wih Will look up to her husband, anyway. We refer to the 5 feet 4 inch Port Arthur girl who married a man. 9 feet six inches tall, . Rdison is said to worry along on four hours of sleep per night. Well, that's more than some of us get who live next door to neighbors who own one of his inventions, I rr -------- ' © When riches become only & mock- bry is testified by the man who has fccumulated $60,000, and his wife 'started making him keep his shoes, | ba in the evening, Tho United States congress has decided that home brew is all right, but it will take more than an act of government to make a man with an . ®#ducated thirst agree that it's fit to Agin -------------- Germany is concerned about whom the United States will send as am- _ bassador when relations are resum- od. Apparently they would like a man who holds that France overran Belgium in inyading Germany,, 'Some of the bungalows whieh are being built herp look as though they Were arranged' so that they could reach into the kitchen room without getting out of bed.--Ogdensburg Ad- vance. So you've noticed it, too, friend? a | ------------------ Bolshevism will be responsible for the death, through ' starvation, of some $5,000,000 Russians, . unless the civilized world pours food into |: _ thit bepighted country, Aayone who 'preaches the gospel of Bolshevism in Canade should be sent to an insane Ea) Ing pleasure in swimming. Summer days and the lure of the river and lake seem, in many cases; to break down at other times, Frequently' a man who never crosses .a street' without ransEiert eye will Prange HG Stra ee waters quite recklessly. Vacation may sometimes bring too much relax- ation, bather would pause to learn about on the sand, rather than dive into cold water immediately after a meal that perhaps was none too readily digested anyhow, Even exceptional swimmers take a chance when they ignore, as they sometimes do, the simplest precautions. Swimming is one of the most enjoyablé and bene- ficial of sports. It should be marred by fewer needless fatalities. A re- spect for precautions and self-educa- tion in the risks to the unfamiliar would minimize danger. ------ HARD TIMES, Across the editorial desk from some unremembered source came a little bit ef French allegory. A portrait painter sat in his favor- ite cafe sipping his wine. His first small bottle finished, he was about to order more when his eye fell on a headline in The Figaro, "Hard Times Are Coming," so instead of ordering hig usual second bottle he called for his check. ¥ "Is there anything™wrong with the wine?" asked the landlord. "The wine is good, but I did not ! order a gecond bottle because hard times are coming and we must econ- omize," explained the artist. "Hard times," said the landlord. "Then my wife must not order the silk dress we planned, but must take one of cotton." . "Hard times," repeated the dress- maker when the order was cancelled. "This is no time to expend. I must Jot make the improvements I had planned in this place." "Hard times, eh?" said the builder when the dressmaker cancelled the building plans. "Then I cannot have my wife's portrait painted." So he wrote to the artist and can- celled his order. After receiving the letter the-artist went again to his favorite cafe and ordered a small bottle of wine to soothe him. - On a nearby chair was the paper.in which he had read of hard times two days before. He picked it up to read more closely and found it was two years 'old! ---- NEW FORMS OF CRIME. Never 'a day passes without the Whig recording in its news colums from one to a dozen bold daylight burglaries, while nighttime holdups are of common occurénce. It would appear that modern inventions and appliances have made some forms of crime much more easy to commit, with greater chances of escaping punishment, than ever before in the history of the world, Note the many robberies of banks and jewelry stores by heavily armed men acting in bod- ies of three to six or more, having laid their plans carefully to get away with their booty in high-powered mo- tor cars, and not hesitating to kill those who attempt to defend the pro- perty placed in their care. To meet in some measure the audacity of these robbers, in certain United States towns bands of minute men have been organized, as recorded in: the late news despatches. These, bands are armed with adequate means of repelling criminals, and are ready to respond on short notice when they are needed, not only to act in the genera) defence, 'but also to give prompt and effective chase in case the robbers should succeed in obtaining plunder. These preparations, in somg cases, are being made in response to a belief that law-abldfng members of soclety must do something more than is be- ing done now to protect themselves from their enemies. Either the laws against any-forms of crime are not sufficiently severe, or they are not enforced with .the celerity and cer- tainty which 'present circamstances demand. It is mistaken kindness, as many Ontario papers, including the Whig, have recently pointed out, to be lenient to criminals who prey upon the community, and Who place men, women and children in jeopardy of their lives. Crimes have become so numerous and so varied, and crimi- audacious, that extraordinary efforts are needed, not only to catch and convict them, but also to see that out, P---------------- | PUBLIC OPINION | (Vancouver Province) "Come wu -and let me wash your hands," eaid mother, when she errived with her little daughter for tex at ghanny's. "1 don't want to go up," wailed 'Winnie, aged four. . '"fiet her wash them 'down ia the # these habits ef caution and | foresight that operate as protection | currents and depths, and ruminate | nals have become so insolent and |' | tearful face to her - motWMer, 'why {don't you ohey your mother?" ---- | Why the Breakers Roared! (Boston Transcript) "I've been down here at the beach | two weeks," she remarked, "and | my hands aren't tanned a bit. Funay, FAR A sins 55: - "Oh, I don't know," replied her {summer beau, "they've been in the { shade of my sheltering palms most {of the time." One would think that any mature | No Choice. (Seattle Times) 5; The yellow man has invaded Paris | as well as London, owing to the ab- sence of domestic help. A newspaper depicts such a servant arriving at a French home, where the lady of the house exclaims in consternation, "But he does not know a word of | French! What shall we do?" "Do not hesitate a moment," says the husband. "Learn Chinese at omce!" | ALONG LIFE'S DETOUR | BY SAM HILL It Surely WIL "Here's a bit of advice," Observed Old Mister McCall, "Taking a tumble to yourself Will save you many a fall" Observations of Oldest Inhabitant. I kin remember when any mother could tell whether her daughter's ears were clean or not. i Officer, Do Your Duty! "Doctors must suffer ap awful from mal de mer,'"' said Nutt. "Why?" asked Bolt. "They see sick so much" Nutt, as he disappeared through deor. lot replied the Are There Any Like That? Some girls have money, Some girls are funny, And some know the right But thé girl worth whil Is the girl who can smile When the tire goes down on the way, --Greenfield, Ohlo. thing to say, e Form in Line, Men, Don't Crowd, (Classified Ad. in The ONLY PAPER) Wanted salesmen who are afraid to work and expect large income, He must be a sticker. 305 Provident Bank bldg 12 "Is this a 'real' job--or shall e blame it on the 'set-up' man?' asks Q D. P. It looks too good be true to us. to -- Forgotten Expressions. Rushing the growler. What'll you have? This one's on me. Dad's Idea of It, Anyway. "Dad, what is a balanced ration?" asked Johnny, "A mess of peas being conveyed from the platé to .the mouth," answered Daa. Fool Question 71180. BE. G. asks: "Can ap ear of corn hear the whispering of tHe leaves?" Watson, Whaddya Make of It? A. D. Collins writes from Lexington, Ky.. "Discovered--that a girl's knee is just as rough as her elbow." What wa desire to know is how the heck did he discover the fact? pat Poems is Poems. (Flat Rock Cor. McCreary County Record). The local poet has writen what is called "L'Envol," meaning "something scent" -- Trere is a wood beast I descry, Altho I fail to see him. It is a wiley béast, and shy, =, I'd rather see than be him, For onct I met him, unacquaint With habits that become him; I tried to make a pet of him And got---this inspiration from him -- Just Keeps His Eyes Open. "Wouldn't you just love to go sea? inquired the youmg lady. "What's the use?' replied the man. "I can get all the see I care for »ight here" to ---- Daily Sentence Sermon. It is better to practice than tq preach. Them Girls of Ours. A girl I llke Is Nellie Bly; She sure can make The best plum pie! ~Cincinnat{ Enquirer. You ought to know My Nellie Runyonsg She cooks the best Bgefsteak and onions. ~--Warren (Ohio) Tribune. S-- News of the Names Club. John Will Smoke runs a cigar store in Jacksonville, Fla, and John needs and his.profits will all go up in smoke, Over in Rurope Kings are has beens, but A. Rice King, of Jacksonville, Fla, is.anything but a has been, he's a lve Wire. But he isn't a rice king at all, he is passenger agent for a railroad down there. > He's ne fish so there is no use trying to catch him, but anyway O. Bass lives at Lotisville, Ky, Comes Natural To Most Of Us. (Canton (Ohio) News) Some of those birds who never seem Lto be able to make opportunities for themselves can make an awful Jot of trouble for other peoplé.--Cincinnati Enquirer. One of the easiest jobs in | which a person may engage is that of making trouble. -- Call for the Sob (Canton (Ohio) News) He is the saddest soul beneath .the skies. ' I speak concerning poor old Pat McKnife. The harsh cruel hand of prohibition Has utterlyi-completely, ruined his 4 . life. A - EE Sc New Aquatic Sport. A new aquatic sport is afforded by buoy in which a person is kept perfectly dry, his legs - encased m trousers on which are fins with which to propel himself through tor 5 ) ¥08- abd barns and stacks of-hay >} to be careful or he will smoke too much | | "Walt Mason 1 : OBEYING THE LAW, | The law forbidding arson has! caused me many sighs, although my | friend the parson maintains that it | is wise. A conflagration rouses in me | a Spirit gay; I'm fond Of \firing hous- Sn like to see them burning upon a summer night; it satisfies my yearn- | ing and fills me with delight. But theéTe's a law forbidding the sport I most desire; the Jaw says, Quit your kidding," when I would start a fire. And I am law abiding, the statutes must prevail; I let my dreams go siding, and thus keep out of jail. Oh, there are laws that bore us, each gent some grievance knows; "Verbo- ten" signs before us increase our | many woes. But if we plan to break | them, these laws that we detest, not only do we shake them, but injure all the rest, Yea, many statutes bore us, aud make our lives seem dark; but anarchws before us if we don't toe the mark. It helps not to be mul- ish, far better grin and yield; if laws are vain and foolish some day they'll be repealed; some day, per- | haps, we'll flay them, but while | they're on the books, if we don't | obey them, we line oureslves with ! ergoks. --WALT MASON. , SIR SAM HUGHES Latest photo of the former minister of militia, who died at Lindsay, Ont, August 24th. , Cornwall Will Pave Street, Cornwall, Aug. 26.-%At a special meting | of the council, a committee composed of Mayor Chisholm, Reeve Chevrier and €ouncillor Williams re- ported, recommending the construc- tion of a permanent roadway on Pitt street, from the canal to Ninth street, connecting with the good road of the united counties running north from the town. The council adopted the report without amendment. Work is to be commenced at once. It is proposed to build the sectiom of five blocks from Fourth to Ninth streets this season, = . c-- Some folks are kept in the dark In order to keep them from bringing things to light. | Tender bones need tender . BIBBY'S Men's Work Shirts The $1.25 variety. Our price 95c¢. Silk Neckwear All new designs. The $1.50 - Var Our price Silk Neckwear The $1.00 varieties. Our price | 75¢ Silk Hook-on Bows The B50c. varieties. Our price -35c¢. 'Men's Fine Shirts The $2.00 variety. Our price $1.48 'Men's Fine Shirts The $38.00 variety. Our price $1.98 Men's Pure Silk Shirts The $7.00 and $7.50 variety. Our price $5.00 Watch our advertisements The Fox + Men's Fine Trousers Pure Wool, Men's Soft Collars The 335c. variety. Young Men's Sits Young Men's Blie Young Men's F ancy Cheviot Worsted Hand-tailored; well-known; $40, $45 values. as you would watch your purse.' It" will pay you! The $6.00 variety. Our pi $4.50 Our price 25¢ $22.50, $25.00, $27.50 varieties. Our price $18.50 Suits Wool Serge. The $35.00 varieties. Our price $25.00 Suits Our price $30.00 Don't send yout money out of town until you have learned what you can save at:-- BIBBY'S The $3.00 variety. Bilk Lisle Hose. The 73c. The $2.50 variety. Our price Good rain or shine, The $20 and $22.50 variety. Good rain or"shine. The $83 \ Men's Pyjamas Our price $1.98 Men's Fine Hose "variety. Our price 50c. Men's Underwear $1.98 Suit Men's Raincoats Our price - N $15.00 English Gaberdine Top Coat variety. Our price $25.00 £ BARRETT' Everlastic Roofing AND "MULTI-SHINGLES" Four-in-one--The best Roofings on the market and the lowest priced. BUNT'S Hardware, King St. nnn OF MOTORING. TIRE SALE 3053 1 Tires THAT WE ARE GOING TO SACRIFICE AT $9.00 GET A GOOD TIRE CHEAP AND BEAT THEHIGH COST -MOORE'S THE TIRE SHOP TAXI FOR HIRE Special prices for out- of-town trips. - G. C. MILLARD | | 30 Main Street Phone 2351w. -P minion Taxi HONE 116 On Monday the barn of Ira Miller, N.Y., was burned. One Jiffy Baby Pants Ideal for summer wear. for babies. Fits snugly, are of soft, pliable Rubber, eas- ily washed. Dr. Chown's Drug Store 183 Princess St. Phone 348. ¥ DO YOU WANT 10 BUY A FARM? We sell farms, That's our business, | T. J. Lockhart We have removed our office to 58 Brock Street, Kingston The Delaware, Lackawanna and Western Railroad's Celebrated : Scranton Coal " - ~ The Standard Anthracite The only Coal hazdied by Crawford Phone 9. Foot of Qdeen St. 'I's a black business, but we : treat you white" : Nn J Annie Tennyson, wife of William Tennyson, Madoe, passed away in Belleville General Hospital after four weeks' illness from heart trouble.® . She was born thirty-seven years ago, 8 daughter of Mr, and Mrs. on Wannamaker, Mayo township. '