ition of useless BATURDAY, JANUARY 14, 10%, re SCAOOL STUDY SPOR1S BIGGEST THE JUNIOR BRITISH WHIG THE WORLD LITTLE PAPER IN THE DAILY BRITISH WHIG. HUMOR PLAY WORK ~------------------ IN THE PIRATES' CAVE Here are the feliows who comprise | * the Pirate Six: Squee Mather, Freckle-faced. Extra large Leader of the neighborhood. Sunday. Likes licorice, Al Stubb. Squee's assistant, records of Pirate Six meetings. Sma Good sport. All that a fat Collects stamps, Sam Finney. should be. runner, favorites. Herd Woods, Plays all kinds of ball, Does a litt] occasionally, the Has a detective uncle m-shoeing himself oe the shack Pirates meet weekly, in which Ollie Clark. Rather frail. Toe-head- Always has 2 package of ed. Jolly. chewing gum in his hip pocket. Joe Taylor. "Hara Luck" middie name. suit with long pants--long ones. Squee rose to his feet slowly. end, of Herb Woot's backyard. As Squee straightened up he care- fully surveyed the faces of fs five soap He surveyed what he could see of the faces, that is, for had salvaged from his dad's junk box Pirate comrades perched on boxes before. him. the old lantern Sam Finney Wasn't burning just right, "Feller Pirates." "ahem." "Feller Pirates. that organization." The five Ii Chief of the Six. feet Won' wear a necktie on any day except Keeps i in stature. Likes books. 'Studies hard. boy Nose turns up like a sled Mealtime and bedtime are his is his Always in bad. But he is the envied Pirate; has a new His head barely cleared the low roof of the Cave--which, by the way, isn't a €ave at all, but an oid shack at the Squee paused to 1 takes \great pleasure In addressing this first meetin' of the Pirate Six as Chief of el's Pirates. Pirates infs adventuresome." this word. It was a remember it. "And s here shack where week, the ever hear of any ve a cave? No e why do w we're goir Cave? We 3 1 pirates tha ¥ Well, this } 8Squee took a deep t tinuing, Ar same day we six v tell stories. One fel teil a story each week teer to spin the meetin' 2" All was silence then-- "I will, Chief." Herb up as he spoke. Herb Offers Detective Story "Brave lad, my boy." Squee's volce sounded like oid Captain Kidd's must bave when he praised one of his men. "What's it about?" "Detective story, "Don't. tell it now," "Is it a good one?" "Good one? Huh. I'll say it is. My uncle told it to me when he was here last week." "Al right, Put it down in your notebook then, Al, tnat Herd is going to tell the first story for us." And half an hour later when each Pirate had glven hia speech, the meet. ing broke up, ana each of the six boys promised faithfully to be on hand the next week for the first real meeting. They'd all be there or be expelled from the band and maybe Cast off on some desert island, "Ex- cept," as Ollie insisted, "in case of sickness." Bo, If you, too, wil be on hand next week we'll see whether Herb Woods knows what he's talking about. His story. ought to be good. Remember, he has a detective uncle. t every t h before con- k on this ether and w will have to Who'll yolun.- for next week's J s yarn Woods stood o 1 i It's about--" broke in Squee. p b k looked their admiration at this open- Squee always ing remark of Squee's. Was good at remarking, "Why" eof the Pirate Six "I guess we all understand perfec'ly why we organized oursel's into this here band. Not because we want to #9 out and do a lot of plunderin' and killin' like the pirates of old did, but get together and have some place wnere we can go to tell stories. Every one of us fellers has got some kind of a geod adven- Trouble Js we don't never, have a chawbe to tell 'em. Maybe it's a ghost story. Or maybe it's a detective story, Or may- be it's a story about travelln' some |! place. Where do we get a chance to Se that's why we because we want th ture story up his sieeve, tell #? No place. organized this here Pirate Six. . "An' 1 guess you know maybe why s t JIMNY = Tam, O' TH! TAME HE MUST HE WASHING TH! BALK LV HE t tl t blue, green, d mitted Teresa, blue eyes, or bik le Nelda has--'* Ject, for Nelda and Marie Holmes were passing. down dropped in to chat a while, Nelda, room ment, eyes,' souls, prods, carry, "Study." || ONE REEL YARNS | GREEN 'There's no use or hazel, mourned EYES calling my eyes or gray or anythi 8 Teresa, i i * That's all, verye ay green. Like cats' eyes. Just plain, "I thought cats' eyes were yellow," lee," said her roommate smilingly, "They look that Way at night," ad. "but they're green, Wish T had nice, sky- -brown eyes like ust the same. Foster." "She's the one who has Breen eyes," aid Teresa's roommate, "Why, the idea," said Teresa, "she Then she changed the subs, the hall and they "How nice your room looks," sald "But you really got the best on' the hall. You're mighty ucky. How did you happen to get 4 gh 4 "Madaline Fisher had 1." ex- lained Teresa, "and when she moved over to the other dormitory she asked if we couldn't have it." "Well, 1 don't know that rd want anything of Madaline's," sald Nelda with a toss of her head. me out of a part in the spring play. Every one said 1 should have had it, "And she overdresses, t00. Just be- cause she has money fs no excuse for spending so much. Of course 1 admit she has a nice complexion, but she's always making s0 much fuss over what she can't eat because it's bad for her complexion, "She beat Bhe's almost as ad as Wilda Crawford. You'd think Wilda was a queen." A bell rang, Visiting hour was over, and Nelda and Marie hurried Off. When they were gone Teresa and ler roommate sat silent for a me- Teresa broke the silence. "I'd rather have my kind of green she said slowly. "I guess hey're better than the kind that be- long to the green-eyed monster." TO-DAY'S PUZZLE LOUSS, RACRY, SDPRO, LETAS Form the above groups of letters in- 0 the proper words, then arrange the TARST. words correctly, and their diagonals, reading. from the corner to the lower right, spell some- upper left-hand hing we do in school. Answer to yesterday's: &ste, easy, yarn, name, Answer, to to-day"s: Stare, steal, Diagonals spell Elegant, Nite: "Have you ever seen a mos- quito weep?" Day: "No, but I've seen a moth " il v - TRL LL I S| | A great deal of time and energy is ed to acquire an education that 8 Do-¥alue. If a man purposes be- oming a surgeon, it is folly to de- ote three of his best years to the of woodcraft or the folklore of Incas. For no man can absorb he whole of human knowledge, and he time he devotes to the acquis- informaton serves puly to deprive him of. the opportun- y to acquire {nformation that he ban use In his business, Every man who 1s worth a hill of ns is a specialist, whether he is a ricklayer or a painter of pictures, a usician or a printer. And if the | list would devote the highest Il of which he is capable, he must evote the whole of his energies to dying the technique of his trade, d study other matters, if at all, y as a diversion. It may be argued that concentra- lion upon 'one fine of endeavor will ake a man narrow; but this is not sound argument, For the need of ting a living will bring him into batact with the problems that con- all men, and he will, without onscientious effort, study tha prob- 8 of his day and form opinions cerning them. Moreover, if he is n indifferent craftsman, he will be diferent in all other particulars; hile if he is an excellent workman, bnsclous of his skill, self-respect ll teach him to be a citizen of the (Self-respect Is the foundation all progress. When our civilization was young, study of the dead languages was | essential to proper education, for the world's store of wisdom was hidden in dead languages. But now there are printed translations of the wise things written when the world was young, and the modern world has de- veloped wonders of which the ane cients did not dream. An educated man is one who can do some useful thing well, and, while serving humanity to earh his bread, understand that all fellow travelers in this vale of "tears are brethren. y Uncle Gus, Uncle Gus spread his newspaper on his lap, sighed heavily, and look- ed at me over his spectacles. "The handmaiden~-'o virtue," sald he, "is a blackeye." I looked my bewilderment, "That," he continued, "is what you writin' feliges calls philosophy an' what I call hoss sense. Th' ain't nothin' helps a feller to be good like gettin' the houn' beat out of "im. When I was a yofing feller, I was a purty good fightin' man an' I felt my oats right sharply. The' wa'n't no rules then like the' is now. When a feller founght, he used such wea- pons as God give 'im. He used his fists, maybe, if he didn't need noth- in' else; but if he got in tight, he kicked or used his teeth, I had pow'tul good teeth in them days, an' when I fastened a feller, he mos' al- ways hollered caif rope. "You know how it is when a feller can lick ever'body he knows. He gits to thinkin' he's about the best man the' is, an' he's all the time huntin' trouble. I was in a rukus ever' Sat'- day night that come, an' If 1 got scratched up some, the other feller Deacon Hardtop. "So many ras- cals have put on sales advertising goods below ¢tost that it's hard for an « honest mer- chant to fool peo- ple any more." 'Pape's Diapepsin' ends Gases Flatulence the, food you eat ferments; sin. \ In five minutes * Acidity Sourness Eases and stubborn lumps; your aches and you feel sick and mis- fable, that's when you realize the jagie in Pape's Pepsin. It makes { h distress go in five minutes, It your stomach is in a' continuons { t you cap't get it regulated, for your sake, try Diapepsin. 5 80 needless to have a bad stom- Bake your next meal a favorite meal, then take a little Diapep- Heartburn Palpitation There will not be any distress-- eat without fear. It's because Pape's Diapepsin "really does" regulate - weak, out-of-order 4 stomachs that gives it it's millions Of sales annually. Get a large sixty-cent case o Fape's Diapepsin from any drug Store. It is the quickest, surest stom. ach relief known. It acts almost lika magic--It is a scientific, and delightful preparation which traly belongs in every home. | harmless | learned to drive it, it has Jepreciat- And thei p =I) COE: ¥ Sarm mighty glad my kitchen cab- inet is built in, 'It's a blessing to have something in the kitchen that | new ueighbor can't borrow." @ | was always iff a worse fix than I was, "The preacher kep' tellin' me figt- in' was wicked, but I didn't see no sense in that. Wicked or no wicked, it was a sight '0 fun. "But one day the' was a feller come through here sellin' washin' machines af' it seems he had been a sort 'o professional fightin' man. He knowed how. to mse his fists. Well, sir, him an' me got tangled up somehow or other, an' he had me licked befo' I knowed what was hap- penin.' "I would 'o bit 'im, but 1 couldn't get close enough. And when I kicked at him he wa"n't there. "That lickin' learned me a lesson; an' after I got so's I could see, I be- gun to think maybe fightin® was wicked, after all. "Nations is lke that too. They thought war was all right so long as when this last one showed them that winnin* cost 'em about as much as losin', they was ready to quit an' be good for a spell. The' ain't nobody likes to be wicked after he finds out wickedness don't pay no profit." The Automobile. 5 The automobile 18 a vehicle used to carry passengérs and encourage violent exercise on the part of ped- estrians, It also 'encourages profan- ity, the desire to get there quickly, and young lawyers who specialize in damage sufts. x Automobiles are not essential to happiness unless the neighbors have one. - If the neighbors have one, | Mother and the girls suffer keenly {every time it passes the house and lay awake at night trying to think up new arguments that will "impress Id Dad. Dad finally decides that he might as well starve to @eath as be pestered to death, aad arranges for a second mortgage on the house, Then he visits an agent who once told him that a man of his standing should have a car, and does his part to encourage the discovery of new oil 'wells. The agent has been demdustrating with the car for six months, but it is still a new car. As he tells Dad, it js "just nicely lfmbered up." But by the time Dad drives it home it has become a used car and [has depreciat- ed in value 25 per cent. By the time all the members of the family have ed another 25 per cent. gasoline bills have had a similar of- one side had a chance to win; bat|. jtect on old Dad's bank balance. The members of the family learn | "The Car," always with cap- | speak casually of what | 1 on that hill north of*town. tand iraw liberally upon their im: aginations when revealing the num- {ber of miles, obtained to the gallon. | During the first' three months the | car is washed every second day and run under a shelter when rain | threatens But when the paint be- | ng to dim and the tires to wear, | t mud of many roads chokes the spokes and the family refers to the rar lightly as ""the old boat." The fever has cooled. But one more family has learned to class an | automobile as a necessity, and one | [to say (itals; to "she" d | E more rod has been placed In pickle | for a chap who invented the mort- | gage. Willie Willis Little Willie Willis says: "Dad is the best chum 1 got, an sometimes I jthink I love him better'm Mother: [but I don't when I get sick." | ---- | (Copywright 19232, by {len and Associated Edit Robert Quil- | ors.) ORDER WENT TO GERMANY. Making 1,000,000 Electric Bulbs tor | | = British Firm, { London, Jan. 14.--Giving eyi- | dence today before a Governmental | jcommittee investigating foreign glass | | imports, Christopher Wilson, a diree- Itor of the General Electric Company, | ~ {said he had recently given an order to Germany for a million bulbs "to] frighten British workmen" who, he; | sald, during the war took every ai-| |vantage of conditions obtaining. | | Their wages, he added, formerly | | averaged about 10d hourly, but now {they were 4s, and the labor cor- respondingly zy. However, Mr. | Wilson concluded, the workmen were | ina much better frame of mind now | owing to foreign competition. | COURT PESTS CAUGHT. | | | | -- | Spectators Left Penniless-- | { Sightseers Warned. | Chicago, Jan. 14.--Forty spectat- | jors in Judge Asa G. Adams' court of domestic relatiops left the court-| room penniless after Judge Adams | summoned them before him, assese- | ed each person what money he had | on his person and told each to leave. ! The proceeds, amounting to $6.60, | went into the junior cheer fund for! needy families brought into court. | Many of the spectators were penni- less and were allowed to depart with a warning. The morals court also war on sightse 40 declared ers and curious spec- tators a few days ago, when it was announced that a picture of those' {who congregated to hear cases in (the morals court would be printed {In a.newspaper each day. ---- | Vanvolkenburg-Kirkham, | Moscow, Jan. 12--Miss Anna B.| | Kirkham, Youager daughter of the {late Mr. and Mre. James Kirkham, | Perth, and Stewart Vanvolkenburg, | Younger son of the late Mr. and Mrs, Robert Vanvolkenburg, McLean. were unitéd in marriage at the Napa- {Bee rectory on Jan. 5th, Rev. J. i1. W. Coleman officiating. The bride [ wore a pretty frock of navy tricolette | with cut béad trimming and silk | plush hat to match. Tea was served [at home of the cousin of the brras {at Napanee. They took the'train tor Ottawa and other points, the bride wearing a suit of navy serge, On tneir return to Moscow they will be given a shower at the home of the broth- er of the groom, and then they will leave for their new home in Dexter, t | that what over 200, | exchange the | ing your cold. | in ths coupon. Buckley Giving : way Over 100,000 Bottles | The chief of cold, killers to slay every cold in existence. The hour has struck! Coughs, colds and bronchitis ties of Buckley ! H ads of free bottles 's Bronch Mixture will prove to sufferers where that it is the most swec method ever discovered for combati disease germs. To b Cenvinee yoursel peopleare saying is absolutely true, below at any of the drug stores listed for your bottle. You'll be so agreeably surprised with abot this retnedy the teat that will proceed at once | withthe regular aie in order 10 compl the miraculous work of totally Right here and ete a W.K. BUCKLEY Limited, Mansiactaring Chemists 142 Mutusl Street Tervate ----C0 U PO Net-- Pree trial Buckley's Bronchitis Mixture, i ed if This cou not be accept, ten by = child, Nouri Ie asso - I ----. Sold in Kingston by T. H. Bargent, Mahood's Drug Store, F. J. Hoag, A. G. Harris, M. R, McColl. D8 THOMAS' FerLcTiie Within 5 Minutes of Everything Worth While Hotel Breslin Broadway at: 20th St, New Pork An High Class Hotel with Moderate Rates Popular priced Club Breakfasts A Cafeteria--the last word in up-to-dateness--just opened RATES Single Room with bath - $3.00 Double Room with bath - 6.00 NE ---------- ------ i -- S-------- G. Hunter Ogilvie INSURANCE and GENERAL BROKER 281 Wellington Street Phones 789w. and 1087. N.Y., where the groom holds a good position, Rev. A. H. Creeggan, Deseronto, gave a dinner to the Mohawk Base- day evening. batl Club at his residence last Thurs- I i B 3 hh i f I v f he 8 Hr TR AGENCY FOR ALL o OCEAN STEAMSHIPS For particulars apply to: -- J. P. HANLRY, CUNARD ANC ) R ANCHOR-DONAL AstULA Susy iu Pert From Portland Tro Halifax Mar. 2jApr. 13 Mar, r.18 Mar. a I Mar r 1 Fob. 38 A....ovsivndirilnvsess Algeria Halifax. oath--Cherhoury and Jan. 33IMBr. 9 .. cen. 5essinn sh Apr. 10 Comin Cher. call) .... Sonia CUNARD CANADIAN SERVIOHN SUMMER SAILINGS 1923 . MONTREAL TO LIVERPOOL May 6lJune 10/July 15+...... May 20\June 21 ie 3 July 8iAug. 12(Sep! Montreal to Fi May 12/Jupe 17jJuly 22 +o. Andania May 2ilJa Like: § ......Antonja and LASGOW (via Mi: ay di Ce N. . 21iFeb. 28{Apr. 1 00s, is. (May 6jJune PRN 1 ON ia Agsonla rls ar. 11} Le coais ives os Coameron 4 A oflls at Glasgow. a N.Y. Cherbourg, Shmpton Feb. 28 31 . .Aguitania Po PI Carb and JAD. SHIMAr. 7... ies. . ¥ *Apr. §iMay 12iJune 3 * Does not eall at Che Lendonderry, fl 18, te ne » Feb. 4lApr ir a RA ae To extract meat frm $ Cuban has invented i Gourdier's | BROCK STREET; Valuable Residence. Excellent Location. For price dnd terms apply; KINGSTON AGENCIES, Limited J. O. HUTTON. B. G6. ROBERTSON Phone 708 Important Re Your Storage Battery Now that the cold weather has set in we wish to announce that We are prepared to look after your BATTERY for the ater, TELEPHO N. Y. to and { Jan. 28iFeb. 25{Mar. 22 Ba Feb. 1 2 rb ase J} NE or WRITE and get full particulars as to to be done to your Battery. Generators, Motors, Magnetos and Lighting Give us a try-out. We guarantee our work, Willard Service Station, I. LESSES 19 BROCK STREET, what is needed Experts on systems. PHONE 1340. RUSH DELIVERIES WITH A FORD SPEED TRUCK When a customer phones in a rush order do | you deliver it "as soon as you can" or "right away?" 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