------ THE DAILY BRITISH WHIG By the' Author of "Madame Claire" NINA By SUSAN ERTZ In "Nina" the author of that 'great popular favorite, "Madame Claire,' "again proves herself the possessor of a talent as delightful and individual as any that has appeared over the literary horizon in many moons. "Nina" 1s a novel that is witty, is salty with keenly real- ized human character, and that bears that indefinable stamp of smartness that brings to mind a well-dressed woman of the world. R. Uglow & Co. MONUMENTS Before placing your order for I a Monument, or having Letter. | ing done in cemétery SEE | J. E.Mullen | 887 Frontenac St., Kingston Hard Wood Choice Body Hardwood. Soft Mixed Wood. Kindling and Slabs. (Chas. Bedore & Son 840 NELSON STREET Phone 1746J. English Golf Score Markers These are very well made--simple -- but give the true score --no slips. They come in lea- ther cases ... $2.00 Others from 50c. up. Kinnear & d'Esterre JEWELLERS 168 PRINCESS ST. Dr. Waugh \ DENTIST 108 Wellington st. Phone 256. x » BRICK, STONE, PLASTERING AND TILE SETTING DOUGLAS & McILQUHAM RNS 9 op ex . Maxsox Ra on THE DOCTOR. By Kid Boots. The doctor is a funny fellow, take him by and large; He feeds you piuk and purple pills, enough to sink a barge. But whether these aforesaid pellets kill or cure you, He sends a bill for services makes you pay it, too. and | You tell him that your gizzard hurts; he says "Stick out your tongue!' Then shakes his head and clucks a bit and pokes you in the lung. Just when you think the undertaker soon will haul you off He tells you, "Cut out coffee," and "You'd better take up golf." The doctor leads the life of Reilly; all he has to do Is cure folks of nervousness, the small pox, and the flu. He writes prescriptions that you have to take to some drug clerk Who puts the queer concoctions up and really does the work. An Eye For Business. Stella: "Did Bella marry well?" Mame: "I'l say she did. Mar- ried a barber. Won't cost her'a bloomdn' cent t8 keep her halr shear- ed, marcelled, permanent waved, fri- ccaseed, or any way she wants it." --Bdgar A. Porter What Did He Mean? Wife: "I never won a prize in all my life except when I got married, and that turned out to be a booby." Husband (cryptically): "That's more than I can gay." --Katherine Greenberg Woodside. Different. Kinsey: "I thought your wife ob- jected to your playing poker in the 'house while she was away in the country?" Gatlin: "She won't say anything about it this time, I'm ahead of the game." ~--Richard W. Franke. Try This On Your Teacher Teacher: "Johnny, how many days in each month?" Johnny: '*Thirty days has Sep- tember, All the rest IT can't remember; The calender's upon the wall-- Why bother me with this at all?" --R. C. O. A SWIMMING EPISODE. By Dr. Walter E. Trapcock. CONTRACTORS "Water sports," sald Dr. Trap- rock, "remindeme of one of the most : 'JOBBING WORK A SPECIALTY. PHONES 2367F--928W, 400 ALBERT STREET | 4 a \ A pL OPEN STOCK DINNERWARE No doubt you are in need of several pieces to replace those broken, or, you "wish to increase the size of your set; our open stock patterns of Johnson Brothers' English Dinnerware are complete, and the prices lower than _ Should you want a complete dinner set we have them from $18.00 up © The problem of School Shoes will be economically solved if you will let us outfit Strong, durable, Shoes for Boys and Girls; styles; constructed to protect and support growing foot Good Shoes worn by your children is evidence of muscles. own exciting incidents of my life. 1 have always been something of a water-sport myself . , , . there ate my swimming medals, yonder. "In 19011 was on the Southern 4! edge of Lake Wyganza, in the Sudan. The Boer War was in its most crit- ical stage: it was imperative that a dispatch should be delivered to Gen- eral Dullard, who was at the upper end of the Lake. "The Dutch snipers were deadly but I volunteered to swim the length of the lake with the message. "Lake Wyganza, twelve miles long is the only sheet of water in the world that runs uphill. My task, therefore, was to swim twelve miles, uphill and under fire! My com- mander, General Thick, forbade the attempt. I decided to try it any- way. "I knew that if T tried swimming on the surface the snipers would eventually get me. Therefore, swimming as far as I could under- water, I come to the surface only at long intervals. While the height of the water surface varied, my ac- tual swimming was on the level. "In six hours the message was in Bullar's hands and the fall of Lady- smith followed. The British Gov- ernment struck that special medal for the best bit of uphill work in the war . . . . and there was a lot of it, as you doubtless remember." Old Fashioned Pair. Fred (during dance): "Why dre you so distant?" Bertha (coldly): "Because you are holding me so close." ~--Richard Barthelmess. An Old Game. Tom: "Noah must have been a great poker sharp." Jerry: "How do you figure that out?" Tom: 'Well, didn't he 'stack' the 'deck' with 'pairs'?" i . No Objections. Nancy: "Could you be satisfed with love in a cottage, dear?" Peggy: "Well, I might try ft -- provided the cottage had a garage, and was in an exclusive neighbor. hood." --Robert Simpson. S-------- His Specialty. 4 | Mrs. Crawford (to neighbor's itt- tle boy): "I'm so glad to hear you say you're such a great help to your mother." v Willie: "'Deed I am. She often says I'm the best boy she ever knew | to eat up things to get them out of the way." --Mrs. Ralph Engelhardt. The Bourbon Tongue. "Did your son take French les- sons while he was abroad?" "No; he took Scotch instead." --0. H. Freund. -- A Variation of a Well-Known Prov- He: "It takes two to make a quar- rel." She (jealous of a rival): "Yes, but three will make it much quick- er." --Jane Hyde. (Copyright 1924. Reproduction Forbidden.) Readers are requested to contri- bute. All humor: epigrams for humorous <--.oitoes). jokes, anec- dotes, poetry, burlesques, satires, and brignt sayings of children, must be original and unpublished. Ac- cepted material will be paid for at from $1.00 to $10.00 per contribution; from 25c. to $1.00 per line for poetry according to the character and value of the contribution, as determined by the Edi*or of "The Fun Shop." All manuscripts must be waitten on one side of the paver only, should bear name of this newspaper, fhould be addressed to Fun Shop Headquarters, 110 West 40th Street, New York City. Unaccepted contri butions cannot be returned. 4 GANANOQUE Sept. 20.--Mrs. George Dowsley is spending a few weeks with friends in New York City. She accompanied Miss Jennie Beatty who has been the guest of her parents, Mr. and FIRE NEAR DESERONTO A Barn Destroyed--The Citi= ens' League Hold a Euchre Party. Deseronto, Sept. 19.--Aboutl mid- day today whilst Mr. Dowling of Deseronto Road was at dinner he noticed smoke coming from a barn directly opposite on the Fredericks- burg shore, which was immediately followed hy flames. He identified the barn as one belonging to Mrs. Hoag on the farm whose dwelling house and outbuildings are right alongside the main road there. The fire was very flerce and the build- ing was totally destroyed ia a very short time. Mrs. Hoag lives in the house on her other farm near the scene and south of the same. The Citizens' League of Deseron- to held the first series of euchre parties and dances on Wednesday night in the White Hall. Mrs. Eva- Watson won the first prize, a beau- tiful basket of flowers, presented by Miss Marjorie Rathbun. F. Harvey took the gentlemen's prize, a dozen of strictly fresh eggs, whilst Mrs. J. Standon received the coasolation prize, a dozen bantam eggs present- ed by Marvin Rathbun. After the cards, a dainty luncheon was gerv- ed, the gentlemen acting as walters, Dancing was enjoyed for a while and everyone departed for taeir re- spective homes well pleased with the entertainment which was provided under the able management of Mrs. Gault, president, and V. G. Pearce, secretary-treasurer., There should be more hearty co-operation with this | league which certainly is doing its own good work. The lacrosse game, Napanee, ver- sus Deseronto, played at Lennox fair Turn Soles, Bell and Ladies' Patent and Highest Grade Vici Kid Oxfords and Pumps French Heels -- made by Smardon. formerly sold for $7.50, $9.00. and some as high as $12.00. We admit the styles have changed, yet these Shoes make the prettiest evening shoes money can buy. These Shoes We must clear them immediately, . 80 offer them to you at ONE DOLLAR It will pay you to buy 3 or 4 pairs. . ABERNETHY'S SHOE STORE on Friday afternoon, was terminat- Mrs. James Beatty for the summer months. The following prizes were award- ed this week in connection with the Horticultural Society: Best flower garden--Mrs. Thomas Nuttall, Brock street; 2nd, Mrs. Cartwright, Brook street. Best vegetable garden--1J. Thompson, Oak street; 2nd, Cochrane, Stone street south. Lawns--J. W. Thomson, Oak street; 2nd Charles Sheets, Garden Street. Most artistic flower (Miss tunden's special), Nuttall, Brock street. Best kept premises, including street in front--J. W. Thomson. Best Garden, boy under twelve years--Paul Kidd, (J. W. Thomson special). Mr. and Mrs. Gallaer of Brook- Iyn, N.Y., who have been at Tre- mont Lodge for the past couple of weeks left yesterday for home. They were accompanied by | Miss Loraine Pelow who will be their guest for a few weeks. Miss Anna Lee Bulloch hag. re- turned to Bishop Strachan School, Toronto, to resume her studies. Her other went up ta Toronto with er. \ Gordon Davis, Syracuse, N.Y., spending a few days here with family, Miss May Wilson captured four- teen prizes at the Delta fair for her display of fancy work. . I THOUSANDS ATTEND KINGSTON'S EXHIBITION (Continued from Page 1.) and the stand will be again packed to-night for the final performance it the weather is at all good. Praise for Midway. Whatever the public opinion of the Midway one way or another there is always another source of opinion which counts a whole big lot and that is from the city and provincial officers on the grounds to see that all is in order: In conver- sation with a Whig representative all the officers on duty stated tha the Midway was the cleanest they had ever worked with and the ex- ecutive the most obliging. Manag- er Lavoie and his assistant Mr. Green have made many friends by their willingness to oblige and their unfailing courtesy and the same is to be found throughout. The man- agement assured the officers that they would be only too glad to aid in detecting and closing anything of an objectionable nature on the grounds and up to last night no complaints had been heard. ! Well Showmen of all kinds are like soldiers on the march--they are chronic kickers and growlers. Yet the majority of those on the grounds seem to be well pleased. Many have waxed enthusiastic over the brisk business and high attendance daily and the proprietors of the little toy steam boat booth were particularly pleased with the large number of Successful demonstrations they put across, saying that they had done Ww. LA garden-- Mrs. during the whole Ottawa fair. came in for a considerable atte along with the other live stock and the especially drew high Praia: Som Sxparts in that Hue aay: ing it was best show they had more business in two days here than i ed before it was fully played by the Deseronto team when the score stood 2-1 In favor of the latter. Harry Moore very properly withdrew his team from the field owing to the unseemly and at times shocking language indulged in by the Nap- anee team. THe game was an exhi-|/ bition game put on for the fair, and as In the fleld of sport, it is usual to give and take in good spirit, it is very deplorable that Napanee players should have so far forgot- ten themselves as to lose their tem- rers and so make the continuance of the play impossible, The pupils of the public school were given a holiday on Wednesday afternoon and many of them - at- tended the fair at the council house, Tyendinaga Reserve. Daniel Kingsbury, of East Main street, has accepted a position as chef with Mr. Philip Allore propri- etor of the Belleville Hotel, Belle- ville. Mrs. William Wright, Fourth street, has been confined to her bed for some days suffering fiom cold, but is able to be around again. Clarence Burley of Napanee bank staff is spending' his vacation at the home of his mother, east Main street; Clarence is a former De- seronto lacrosse boy, having played with the present juvenile team. He took his place in Kingston on Tues- day in the Deseronto-Napanee game when the Deseronto team won, 11-2. J. Wood announces the engage- {went of his daughter, Gene, to Ray- mond Husband of Empey Hili, the marriage to take place quietly on Nov, 5th next. are well known in Deseronto and tongratulations are extended. Mr. and Mrs. Oscar Fitchelt, Mrs. Lillian Woodcock and Master Roy spent Wednesday half holiday at Kingston fair. Mrs. Robert Masters, Mrs. Mur- ney Luffman and Mrs. Hen:y How- ard motored to Motawk fair om Wednesday. ' Mrs. 8." Thomas, Main street, has returned home after spending a few days visiting her daughter, Mrs. Clinton Rendell, Napanee Road, Mr. Cummings, of Toronlo, who hag been visiting his brother, Mr. Fred Cummings and Mrs. Cummings, Dundas street, has returned to his home in the Queen City. Mr. and Mrs. 8. Thomas left town on Wednesday to attend the fair at Kingston. SENTENCE IS GIVEN IN TREADGOLD CASE There were about thirty spectat- ors with the officials in the high court room when Albert Treadgold came up on Friday afternoon at 3.20 pm. for sentence on the two charges to which he had pleaded guilty the night before, reckless driving and criminal opepation of a motorcar. ) : The session did not last more five minutes. Justice Lennox at once announced his decision, briefly first and then in full. The accused was to enter into a con- tract for $3,000 with two securities a The swine and sheep exhibits] Both young people | I long time. The Busy Store Kingston's Biggest Home Furnishers i @ Hl 1 i an KINGSTON HEADQUARTERS FOR . FURNITURE DURING FAIR WEEK Meet your friends as opportunity beckons you. If you are going to buy Furniture for present or future use, no matter how little you need We have the kind that service at moderate prices. JAMES REID you need it a gives years o Phone 147 NOTICE CHECKER TAXI CABS PHONE 800 THE STAND THAT FORCED THE PRICES DOWN Any Place in City, Day or Night 25¢ Outer Station Included BytheHour ..................$2.00 Shopping by thé Hour se aa laein 8150 return to Cemetety, allowing 20 minutes at Cemetery, and SPECIAL PRICES FOR THEATRES, DANCES AND PARTIES, ALSO COUNTRY WORK. ALL SEDANS PAY NO MORE CAREFUL DRIVERS McGALL & MILLER rietors of $1,000 each from his father and his mother. He was to be on good behavior and not drive an automo- bile or similar device, such as a mo- torcycle, for a period of one year. He would be allowed to go at large but if he should commit any other offence he could be called up again on the present charges. He asked Mr. Rigney if this were satisfactory. Mr. Rigney replied in the afirma- tive, and Mr. Nickle, counsel for the accused, thanked His Lordship. The parents of the accused, who were sitting in front" of the court 3 room, were called with the accus+ ed to the desk of the clerk of the court, T. M. Asselstine, and three verbally agreed to the above contract. 2 Justice Lennov again spoke to the accused, adyising him to keep good company, and to have no 'com- plaints against him during the next year. Then Be left the bench and went at once to the outer station to catch a train. He came to the court. shortly after three o'clock from the penitentiary, which he had visited during the afternoon.