THE DAILY BRITISH WHIG A WR YY Ry Ay WA Have You Seen The Big Shirt? See VAN HORNE'S WINDOW and note the largest and smallest Shirt made on display. Now, if you want a new Shirt, just step in and see our large assortment of new Spring patterns. George VanHorne 213 Princess Street. Phone 362w. Light Hurts | Some Eyes | Some eyes are extremely sen- sitive to light. For such | patients we supply special: Lee ee rom entering tha [| § 3 only, fine Chinese ayes. Bamboo and Carved : | 1f the movies, bright lights, travelling 'on the water or by Bone Sets -- regular $25.00. To clear at 15.00 fit you out with a pair of these W.D. Graham, R.0. Kinnear & dEsterre 168 PRINCESS ST. Successor to J. J. Stewart St Post Oftio JOBBING WORK A SPECIALTY Brick, Stone, Plastering and Tile Setting Douglas & Mcllquham _.'.___._ OONTRAOTORS Rit es You should buy your Furs at Gourdier's. Quality WILD WILLIES, Fax, Willie had his pleture took. My, he wore a nasty look. "Say," he said, in accents rough, "Can. that 'little birdie stuff." ~Louis N. Folger. IL. Willle, writing on the bed, Split some ink on Mother's spread. | "Ma," he said, when she came back, | "It will dye a lovely black!" ~-Charles A. Kahn, IIL Little Willie ,on his bike, Through the village took a hike. Mrs. Thompson blocked the walk; Bhe will live, but still can't talk. ~Theodore R. McCoon. 'At A Girl! House Wife: "Have you a charae- ter?" Applicant: "Would I be cookin' if I hadn't?" In a Coupla Days! Harris: "I believe spring is com- ing. Mrs. Harris: "Why, dear?" Harris: "I saw our janitor smile." --Jonn Matter. CRITICAL COUPLETS. .The Telephone Book. If dramatized, it wouldn't last; Too little plot, too large a cast. The Seed Catalogue. The pictures I admire ror hours; They're so much prettier than the flowers. The Cook-Book. A very useful book indeed, If only cooks knew how to read. The R. R. Time Table. The product of a mighty pen, Too deep for women....and most men. 4 --C. 8. G. Not a Sticking Kind. Three-year old Frank had his car- fosity aroused one day when he saw his mother using something out of a .' tube on her mouth. He asked her what it was, "Toothpaste, my dear," sald moth- er. "Is that what God. stuck my teeth in with?" he asked. J --=Mrs. G. 8. Mnnes. »WORD LIMERICKS, "This high cost of --, (1)" sald "Sprott, "Makes me most decidedly -- (2), Spite of raises in -- (3) The thing -- (4) to stay Some ten per cent. -- (5) than I've got!" , 1. What we want to be doing for a long time. 2. What we'd like to have it, in the winter time. 3. What we all work for. 4. What a tailor makes to hold pieces of cloth together. B&. What we all want, when it comes to money. -Hisie Schilling. Too Theatrical. She specialized -- (1) in efficiency; Her -- (2) said she showed profi- elency; Though she made a -- (3) grade, She is still an -- (4) maid; In loving ~-- (5) showed great de- ficiency. -- 1. 'What brings the gray hairs. 2. ACIDS IN STOMACH A well-known authority states that stomach trouble. and indigestion are nearly always due to acidity--acid | stomach--and not, as most folks be- Heve, trom a lack of digestive juices. He states that an excess of hydro- There is one in every school room. 3. Swell autos go up hills on this 4. What a clever woman stops be- coming. 6. Pronoun describing very | interesting half of the population. --John J. McGregor. (Copyright, 1925. Repreduction Forbidden.) Readers are requested to ocontri- bute. All humor: epigrame (or humorous mottoes), jokes, aneo- dotes, poetry, burlesques., sa and bright sayings of children, must be orig'nal and unpublished. Ac- cepted material will be paid for at from $1.00 to $10.00 per contribution; from 26c. to $1.00 per line for poetry according to the character and value of the contribution, as determined by the Editor of "The Fun Shop." All nfanuscripts must be written on one side of the paper only, should bear name of this newspaper, and should be addressed to Fun Sh Headquarters, § West 40th Stree New York City. Unaccepted contri- butions cannot be returned. GANANOQUE March 20.--Miss Sara Stunden re- turned on Wednesday from the south where she has spent the past few months. Walter Abrams met with a pain- ful accident on Wednesday. While splitting wood at the mill a sliver flew and entered his lower lip, pene- trating through and cutting his tongue, cagsing the loss of a great quantity of blood in extracting it." Mrs. D. H. Rogers entertained at bridge again on Thursaay affernoon. In the evening Mrs. Ives Armstrong and Mrs. E. 8. Byers were the hos- tesses of the golf club bridge. This is the last until after Easter when there will be one more big ome. It is understood all the points won at the different golf bridges will be to- talled and a special prize awarded to the one having the iargest num- ber of points, The matter of an Easter ball at the Canoe Club will be settled with- in the next few days; in any case there will be a big dance here Easter Monday, and If not at the Canoe Club likely at the Oddfellow's hall by the Rhythm Kings orchestra. A son was boin to Mr. and Mrs. Quinsey (Jennie McKendry), Belle- ville, a couple of days ago. Dr. William Gibson has decided to open a surgery in Brockville, and has found a desirablé location in that town. His mother will go down to Brockville to reside with him, and will be leaving very shortly. His many friends wish him every suc- cess. Dr. Gibson graduated at Queen's in 1921, The high wind yesterday took the ice away from the main wharf, which is a pretty early date to have it move out. AN AUDIT IS DESIRED. By a Number of the Ratepayers of Twenty or more of the ratepayers of the township of Bedford have pe- titioned for a provincial audit of the books of the municipality. Other townships of Frontenac have had an audit and Bedfora would also like to know how their financial af- fairs stand when fexposed to the eye of a professional untant. It is likely that the Bedford council will deal with the petition at its next meeting and direct that an audit be held. . The council last fall made a change in the financial affairs of the township by directing that the township moneys must no longer be deposited in the name of the treasur- er. It had been the custom for years for the treasurer to deposit tho receipts to his own account, just as was done in some of the other town- ships of the county. The Bedford council decided that the municipality should get the interest on the ac- count. Cape Vincent At Cape Vincent, N.Y., Schuyler Lowe, Republican, was named presi dent over Frank Webster, Demo- gins, Frederick Rodenhurst, headed the union ticket, unopposed, polling 568 TRIP OF THE SINCOES UP THE ST. LAWRENCE The Islands + Had Names Changed--Arrival in Kings- ton In Year 1792. ---- Lady Genevieve Simcoe's diary re- cords this trip in 1792: As they passed through the Lake to the place where now stands the town of Gananoque. It is related that the first white man to live on the peninsula on the west side of Gananoque river was Joel Stone, marooned there by the crew of a batean. Stone was put ashore and left to\his own resources. He fast- ened a handkerchief to a pole and displayed it as a flag of distress. Fortunately a resident on a nearby island saw it, and sent two Indians to rescue Stone, He afterwards fell in with a man named Carey, and they kept a tavern, which for a long time was only accessible by boat, as there was no road along the shore through the forest. It is related that at this tavern there was never bread to eat but al- ways biscuits. Carey and Stone kept two cows, and the milk of the cows they exchanged with the bateau men for biscuits, and some of the biscuits they exchanged with the In- dians for venison, fruit, This tavern was doing busi- ness when the Simcoe came along towards the closé of June, 17932, but Mrs. Simcoe says the nouse was so dirty that she could not sleep in fit, but made her bed in a tent although it rained throughout the evening and during the greater part of the night. Draw Near To N Under date of July 1, Mrs. Simcoe writes: "After passing Grand Isle and Isle Cauchois, we drew near to Kingston which we were aware of before we saw the houses, as .we discerned -the white waves of Lake Ontario beyond, looking like a sea, for the wind blew extremely fresh." The Grande Isle Mrs. Simcoe speaks of was 80 called by the French, but its name was changed by Simcoe himself to Wolte Island, in Abraham. Isle Cauchois was also re-named, being called Howe Island, after Lord Howe. Simcoe's own name is also borne by one of the islands that lies towards the western side of the arm of the lake on which Kingston stands. -- Kingston Reached. Mrs. Simcoe writes that "King- ston is a small town of about fifty wooden houses and merchants' there is a small garrison here, and a harbor of ships." The garrison welcomed the arrive. al of the Lieutenant-tiovernor, by firing a salute; and then the Sim- coes went to the house of the tom- mandant, which, Mrs. Simcoe says, she found much cooler than the | great house in Montreal, the Cha- teau. 6he speaks of the flatness of the place, and therefore "incapable of being rendered defensible," and 80 unfit for the seat of government. The Simcoes remained some time at Kingston, for it was there that the Lieutenant-GOVernor organised the first Government of Upper Can- ada. His office was & small wooden cottage on a small plot of land ad- joining St. Paul's churchyard on Queen street. There, the Legislative Council was completed; there the Province was divided into electoral districts; and from thers went out the writs calling upon the electors to choose the members of Upper Canada's first House of Assembly. Has Her 27th Child. Lessan, Germany, March 20,--All records for Germany were topped here when Frau Becker, wife of a manual laborer, bore her twenty- seventh child, a healthy boy. Hleven of the other boys and girls are still living, among them several pairs of On the same night of the arrival of the latest addition to the family, his eldest married siiter, Anna, gave birth to twin girls. Frau Becker is 47 years old and {of the Thousands Islands they came nsh and wild: 1 heels. . 00 One Dollar 100 pairs Ladies' High Laced Boots-- high French heels--were $10.00. 50 Ladies' Patent Pumps - French A few pairs only, Men's Patent Danc- ing Pumps--small sizes. +5 A small lot Men's Pointed Toe Boots clearing at $1.00. The Abernethy Shoe Store BEpnrennRERLERE Kingston's Biggest Home Furnishers honor of the victor of the Plains of | Values in Simmons' "WINTER SALE NOW ON ! ve suas Frnes sevens ean |Ontario Founding's Estate May Go to University Edmonton, Alta, March 20.-A foundling left on a Prince ward county, Ontario, doorstep in 1871, and brought up by a Picton family, died recently in Saskatoon in the person of August Maxwell, railroad er, leaving no will tor his $3,000 estate here. Justice Ives ruled in the supreme court that, not having been formally adopted under the laws of Ontario, his foster-brothers have no claim. Federal authorities have already claimed the cash, but the attorney- general of Alberta claims it for the University of Alberta under the De- volution of Estates Act. ----emiin ROOF BLOWN OF¥Y is of paramount im- § portance to the wo- man. She knows that