Daily British Whig (1850), 27 Apr 1925, p. 4

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PLANNING YOUR O The Famous Author Applauds the Idea of Making a Home Nest Built on Mutual Love and Trust. By Beatrice Fairfax Who Occupies a Unique, Position in the Writing World as an Authority on Problems of Love and Marriage. T this time of year when Dan Cupid is busy, with potent aid of Springtime, in joining happy hearts together, the thought of weddings looms large. And so practical consider- ations such as those expressed in the following letter may oecour to more than one young couple who are planning an Easter or June wedding and a home nest of their own. "Dear Mise Fairfax: "lI hope you will find {it con- venient to write an article re- garding the following question- naire--I can hardly call it a letter. "I've been married three years and have a baby girl of abou two, I am living with my par- ents-in-law, as we have not been able to start housekeeping by ourselves. It's my intention, 'since the baby is older, to have some one care for her and take a position for awhile, which will enable us to have our own home shortly. "My mother-in-law still has an unmarried daughter of nineteen who is pretty and accomplished. She claims it is up to a girl's par- ents to furnish the home for the young couple, besides giving the daughter a dowry consisting of linens and wearing apparel. "Do you thing the bride's par- ents should furnish the home? Do you think her parents should go into debt to do such a thing? Does a young man think more of a girl if her parents furnish the home? , "Please do not consider those parents who furnish homes be- cause they are well able to and want to. Does a mother have to feel, because she is not in a posi- tion to furnish a house for her daughter, that the girl has no chance of making a good match? "Shouldn't a young man take a certain pride, when he is ready to get married, in furnishing his home? "My own parents are not in a position to furnish my home, but I'm not taking this attitude as a defense for them. I think a girl is happy in the thought that the man she is to marry is planning the home they are to share to- gether, "What I would most like is to have you tell us whether the girl's parents are supposed to furnish the home. What is your opinion of strong, healthy young men and women who permit their parents to do so, not because the parents are financially able to, but because they are expected to, whether they can or not. MARY." The questions you ask, Mary, might seem, on the surface, gues- tions of custom and etiquette, rather than problems of the heart. But, looking a little deeper, they involve so much of mutual trust and responsibility, happiness and peace in planning the home nest that they are well worthy of space in this column. Certain old-world customs and conventions have never been recognized in democratic Amer- fca. For instance, in. certain countries a girl's parents furnish a dowry to induce a suitable hus- band to choose their daughter for his wife. g As far as I know, there has never been in this country any authority for the idea that's L3iiTs parents should furnish her\home when she marries any more than for the idea that they should select her husband--a convention also observed in certain countries abroad. Young people, themselves, to day decide all these points. For better or wose, young peo- ple select their mates, furnish their homes, plan their domestic regime without outside interfer- ence. Of course, the wise girl doesn't marry in defiance of her parents. She bows to their experience and seeks their counsel, She waits for their consent to her marriage. But the young couple who ex- pect the girl's parents to furnish well-to-do parents, are hopelessly baning the times and the spirit The girl whose parents are in moderate circumstances [300 crow Tar Cave drawings 20,000 years old ind. depicting women dancers, as 5 Save, are do- in the world. : ong, 'white, waterproof coats Seattle at Denil It of Tues § 4 $ pay for the greater part of the home furnishings. This, however, depends on circumstances and in- dividual cholce. Where there's love, there'll be no inharmony over this detail. You and your husband, Mary, . are very sensible to plan a home nest of your own. Plan it to- gether with mutual love and trust. Don't allow yourself to be hindered or depressed by out- grown ideas of other generations and other lands. Plan the home, whether an elaborate house or model tene- ment, that you two can honestly, independently afford. By all means. take a position for a while if this is practical in your case and so help your husband complete "your little bit of para- dise."" No matter how humble it may be, your loving care can make it and keep it a home--a home where your friends will delight to visit you and where good humor, tolerance, affectionate co- operation and congenial com- panionship will perpetuate your mutual love and joy. SECRETS OF HEALTH By Charles A.L. Reed, M. D. Former President of the Ameri- can Medical Association. The Art of Quitting. OU, like every other sen- \ sible person, have doubt- less had times when you have resolved to quit something. These moments of resolution came to many people more fred quently before Mr. Volstead made {it Jess frequently necessary to "swear off." But there are many things to quit besides the taking of hooch. Every habit that hurts is a habit to quit. There is a difference between quitting and simply not doing something. You may be afivised not to do something or reasonably resolve not to do it, but that is not quit- ting, for the simple reason that you never began. When you once, by a single ex- perience, do something that hurts or makes you unhappy, something too expensive or indi- gestible or immoral, you simply don't do 1t again--that Is, if you are a pérson of good sense and with an ounce of resolution. But when you have done it over and over again until the "action patterns" are established in your brain and you are in the clutch of habit, you have before you the problem of "quitting." That is something different. The action patterns must be obliterated by a sort of reverse process--something that is not always accomplished in a mo- ment or a day. But it can never be accom- plished unless the process is actually begun. The beginning generally fol- lows that sort of self-examina- tion that you make when you ask yourself, "Is this the best thing for me?" or "Is it fair to me or my neighbor?" and answer both questions with a "No." Then, at that very.instant, is the time for action. 'You say "I quit," and you for tity that resolution with every unit of will power of which you are capable. In other words you throw your entire manhood or womanhood into the scale, If you do not throw your whole being into the determination you will fail. And there is nothing more pa- thetic -than a broken resolution. I never could laugh at Rip Van Winkle when he took just one more drink to treat his last reso- lution. In the days of the elder Jefferson there were thousands of young men who said "Oh, I'll just take another to treat my last resolution." They failed to real ize the profound philosophy of the whole situation----that it was really this weakness of will, this irresolution, that put poor, good- natured old Rip twenty years behind the procession. 1 Your Heart, Wn If you can love only clea Mttle kids TT" how much you can love! then your heart isn't quite big enough to love the soiled ones too. If you can't like an ole dog that isn't a blue- ribbon winner just as heartily as you"can the. you can't help but your heart just isn't quite big enough. Doctor Dan {is the only medic I know. who uses a tape measure in his business. he does it. And if you find yourself going kinda stingy on lovin' and you feel kinda bitter and glum, and somebody has up and told you you don't LOVE enough, it is a good thing to go to Dan, ask him to measure you up and see if he can do something about it. It anybody can, that miracle- aristocrat--then, you see, man is Dan. The back pages of magazines tell a fellow U7 But that's how How Big? at rs UNS N Se 4d {APA AP DAT on +N -- te erm coms eat tI ft:-- their heart fis. that it is easy tor a woman to gain the charm of & 'beautiful skin--easy to grow thin as a sylph, easy to learn to play the saxophone over-night, easy to astonish your friends with your poise an charm in two weeks, just nothing at all to dress like a Franch Marquise ten lessons, but alack--it doesn't, say anywhere that it is easy to make a dried-up little crab-apple into a watermelon. No place does it offer to stretch your heart whilé you wait. People can love just as much as their hearts will hold--no more. So, when you flecide that somebody in your family isn't loving you as much as they ought to, or as much as you have seen somebody else love somebody, perhaps you had better think-- "Well--he-- (or she) is loving me just as big as whole LOT!"--NELL BRINKLEY. By BEATRICE FAIRFAX DRAWN BY NELL BRINKLEY g-2 \\ Weg gv eri Franunt Benvice, Tie And maybe they think it's a FASHION FADS AND FANCIES w----By Mildred Ash ROHIBITION can't prohibit P Spring fashion's abun- dant use-of that refresh- ing shade known as absinthe. green, whose color is almost as intoxicating as fits name sug- gests. Popularized by that fa- mous French stylist, Lanvin, it is becoming dally more favored in sports wear, as well as in eve- ning costumes. The Winning Hand that ig the one winning fashionable approval is gloved in French kid gloves, with fancy embroidery and scal- loped top. In slip-on, or, as it is ently called "Biarritz" style, t type of glove is especially smart in beige shade and when worn with the navy or black tailleur frock or simple ensemple Suit and beige kid street pumps to match. Sailor Ties are always sup- posed to be most lax, for aren't sallors ever reputed to an a girl in every port? The satlor ties to which we refer have a much more concrete footing, for they are one-eyelet pumps tied with grosgrain ribbon and have & small 'upright tongue. Of French kid, the smartest of these are in moonstone gray or blonde shades. Modern FOXY GRANDPA"S STORIES Registered U. 8. Patent Office. PY ©18 ov levy, Pravuen Samace. tua rent Brisa cighie mmered WHY 'CERTAIN L4PLANDERS ARE CONSIDERED | Oe up into the north we 4 traveled --/way up beyond Norway, Sweden and Fin- land, where Nurmi, the great runner, came from. It was Lapland where we were headed for and after a long journey, we finally reached it. » "Well, what do you think of it?" I asked. "I love all the reindeers, Foxy Grandpa," sald Bunny. "I wonder if Santa Claus gets his reindeers from up here." "I wouldn't be a bit surprised," 1 answered. "Reindeers are very important to these Lapps." "They couldn't get around much if they didn't Bave them. And do you notice that they don't have bits in their mouths-- they are guided by a light tap on the side with the reins? 1 I liclous. And trom their fur is made a very useful cloth. It is so light that if a swimmer has on a suit of it, he cannot drown. And a mat, too, made of this wool-- just the size Of a doormat--will hold a man up like a life pre- server." "Why don't they make sailors' suits of it?" gsked Bobby. "That has n suggested," I replied. "Isn't it wonderful that one- animal can have so many uses?" murmured Bobby. "Yes, I answered. "Wealth is reckoned by how many rein- deer & man owns up here." "How, Foxy Grandpa?!" asked t a man bas a thousand or more reindeer he is considered rich. If he owns several hun- THE GIRL WHO FAILED AN ARTICLE EVERY MOTHER SHOULD READ. Are You One of Those Parents Who Seek to Rob Your Child of All Indi By Lucy Lowell. HE is twenty-five and won- S dering what iife is all about. The mystery seems hard to get hold of, somehow. It shifts about so much, and things have such a way of changing appear- ance, according to where you happen to be at the moment. For the last couple of years, or since she left home, she has felt a great deal like a boat adrift, always just about to make some safe haven but always washed out to sea again. Everything was different back home. Of course the-city was hardly more than a village com- pared with New York. Everybody knew everybody. Your friends were the folks you went to school with, and their standards were CORRECT MANNERS By Mrs. Cornelius Beeckman. Paying for Another's Dinner. man. One 'day my I am a married wo- mother and I went out to see my father at an in firmary and a young man asked to go with us. He is a friend of ours. When we got out there we decided to eat in a restau- rant. The young man paid the bill. When we got outside I offered to pay him my share of it. He refused to take it and felt insulted. Was he right in refusing to take the money? My husband said he waa wrong, that he should have taken the money. I say he was right. A READER. THERE was apparently no rea- son why the young man should not have been host on this occa- sion. He asked to go with you and your mother, and, when a man makes this request he as- sumes more or less the position of host. I am sure that he had great pleasure in being the host to your mother and you, and especially on such a "family" errand; and I am sure also that he regretted your not accepting his friendliness in the same gen- erous spirit in which he offered it. He probably felt "hurt;" I don't believe that he felt "in- sulted," for, of course, he realized that you did not mean to be un- kind. "Insulted" is a pretty strong word, and is, as a matter of fact, too often sed too loosely. Don't worry about his not accepting the mohey. Enjoy being his guest as much a: ky enjoyed being your host! hE MRS. BEECKMAN: The "At Home" Invitation. DEAR MRS. BEECKMAN: I should like to know if it would be in good taste to re- spond to an "at home" invita- tion from 3 until 4 o'clock? DAILY READER. F you are planning to go to the reception, you leave your cards at the reception. If 'you are not going, you send your cards so that they arrive on the day that it is to be given. If, however, there is an "R.s.v.p.," or a "Please reply" on the card you answer fit in the usual formal, third person way, as you would any other formal invitation. (Mrs. Beeckman will be glad to answer questions on etiquette submitted by readers.) Cloth of Gold. URENS have loved it since long ago, prizing its chang. ing sheen, watching the high lights come and go, watch- | » y? your ndards and their lives exactly like your own. And, of course, there was mother. Perhaps there was too definite- ly mother, as she sees it now. Father dying when she was only a baby and leaving the two of them, she an only child, had thrown them together in unusu- ally close selationship, "l never, never want you to grow up!" she remembers mother saying over and over when she was a little thing in pinafores. "You must be my baby always!" It seemed very pleasant then, that fiercely protective attitude of the small, gentle, but very de- termined woman who taught her to read and write, so they would not have to be separated by school hours. Now she wonders if perhaps it wasn't a little selfish. Children, she senses vaguely, are indivi- duals as well as sons and daugh- ters. * No parent may wholly di- rect their lives. She 'remembers how mother wept when her skirts were dropped to her shoetops and her hair was pinned up, even though these things happened to her years later than they did to the other. girls. Finally she went to work and Mother went to bed and had the doctor and all the neighbors in. "I've lost my baby!" she moaned. "But she had to grow up some time," they told her. "Here she's twenty years old and helpless as a girl of fourteen. It will do her good to get out and learn." Then Mother began to super vise daughter's businesslife just as she'd directed her life at home. But, despite this handicap, the girl got on. Eventually she was offered a position in New York and accepted, feeling rather glad, perhaps, at the prospect of more freedom. Once in the big city, however, she found herself almost incapa- ble of thought or action. Mother, you see, wasn't around to tell her what to.do. ' So she followed the line of least resistance. And while she "gets by" on the job, her e ployers consider her sleepy unenterprising. 7 But it is in her trienffahips that she is likely to come to grief. She hasn't found any young folks like those back home, and she doesn't care to, anyway Her bit of treedom has brought her a taste for the exotic. She is finding it in a group of the sleek. Laired, pink-manicured, agile- ankled gentry and thelr women- king. She thinks them amusin 4 Juothep isn't near to tell Mer that ey also are dangerous. No she bothers z o%e e might have learned some- thing of them back home, half a chance. wit What's goiug to happen to her --and whose fault will it be? Mother's, I say. Mother, who wanted to kcvep her a baby all her life, and almost Copyright, 1925, King os Juscosded, WHEN DID IT HAPPEN? 1. When was the American frigate United States built? 2--When was the battle of Zinta, between Austria and the Turks? 3--When did John Ruskin lish art critic, die? Jog 4--When was the Fa discovered? 99. Comet 6--When were the Memoirs or the Duc de Saint 8 lished? an, 3 _, 1. Rutiand was one of the cap 13 of Vermont from 1784 to 3 "The battle of Ucles between France and Spain was fought January 13, 1809. . 3 Josiah Quincy, American pa: riot, was sent on a political m sion to England in 1774. 3 ni Wales was united to Eng n Y a statute ind passed in 6. Zozimus, the Greek histor. fan, lived in the first half of the Fifth Century, A. D. Copyright. 1925, by King Features Syndiests, ii HOUSEHOLD HINTS Hf a candle fs too large for the candlestick, the end shomld be held in hot water until it is soft.

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