hhh- hmmhhhhm poet r y 1 rs monket barber a man who ownm a barbers mop at york and havd full many a fop a monkey kept for their amttfement he made no other kind of life oot his monkey took geat observation was wonderful at imitation aiid all he faw the barber do he mimickd llrait and did it too it chaned in hep the dog and cat while fnfeur dind demurely fat ack found nought to play the knave in jso thought hed tiy his hand at fnaving around the fnop in bafte he rnfhes and gets the razorsfeap and braihei now pufs he hvd no mufcle mils flirs and lafhcrd well he heard and whilkers 1 then gave a gaih as he began the cat cried waugh and off fhe ran next towfers beard he tried his fkill in though towfer feemd fomewhat unwilling as baoly here again fncceediug the dog runs howling round and bleeding nor yet was tird our rogmfti elf hed feen the barber mare bimfelf so by the glafs upon the table lie rubs with foap his vifage fable then with lefthand holds fmooth his jaw the razor in his defter paw around he flouriihe and flafiies till all hid face is feamd with game his cheeks dilpatchd hi- yifage thin he cockd to ihave beneath his chin drew razor iwift as he could pull it and cut from ear to ear his gullet moral who cannot write yei handle pen a ie apr to hurt them felves and friends tho others ufe them well yet fools should never meddle with edgetools ing of humanity in a merrt ketr cried the m pie remedy there is no quackery jormerlca is now ihe intheprecedinsprefcnpttonvhich name of half the globe antiquarians fay that an otd nc at cape cod whenever his mafter re quired any thing of him would claim mass a chuse it hence the name of massachusetts the girls of palmyra when romp ing with the follows often cried o this gave rjfi john fxoririncffam es no 6 i paul street m intneprclcuiai r- y t yave received ner th is offered to mankind from a feel- h t i f tbet lb oiicicci lw ii a general and complete affortmew i f the boys tear us to the word boisterous the city of albany was originally fettled b y scotch people when fir a ti gers on their arrival there aficd kh the new comers did the anjwer mi- all bonn iv 1 be altered but an article from ringfton ja maica of the 24th april fays a moft curious occurrence has taken place in port royal moun tains the dwellinghoufe c and from 25 to 30 acres of full bearing cotfee on the plantation of mr r dalhoufe funk down and dis appeared on tuefday fennight and nothing but the ridge of the some r le jvrmly zvas m fpelung we find a hit not the found when julius ccefars army lay en camped at ticonderoga near 2000 years ago the deferters were commonly tied upon a battery ram and flogged when any culprit was brot out the commanding centurion would exclaim tie on the rogue the name we fee has worn well a fat landlady who about the time of the fight of mahomet from mecca lived between new orleans and the chicafaw cliffs was fear rely ever un- furnifhcd with pigeon feapye and thence got the name of mrs seapye the enormous river mississippi houfe is now difcernible days previous the earth wis ob- ferved to crack and fink in a tri- deoree and the houfe to be hardware goods in the different branches of cutlerys dlery and cabinet wares afoa quantity of nailsirin plate wire shot lead sheet ir anvils vices steel shovelsfc spaded fryingpans- sadirons brafskettles gla cart waggon boxes improved mill croffcut saws sickles and scythes a few money chefts large anrj fmall scalebeams weights watchglaff e clock faces furniture a few pi hair seating for chair bottoms and a few dozen herring net twine may 13 earthen glass ware fling m affected by it when mr dalhouie was advifed to remove with his furniture which he fortunately did the caufe is not well afcer- tainedbut is fuppofed to have been occaficned by a hollow or fubter- raneous paffage in the earth there not being the frnalleii fymptom of an earthquake at the time a fhocking accident lately occurred at ruyds foundry near leeds the iron metal in a hate of fufion unexpectedly bcift from the furnace and carried away a young man who was unfortunately landing near it and who a dually floated upon the liquid iron fevered 1 yv ji yards before he could be extricated from his owes its name to this fat landlady i tt a ijti wt t at j- j horrible htuation lie wasdieadiuly buim when nebuchadnezzar took the bul r until mo when death re- t he subfcribers refpeftfully inform thsir f iends and the public that they have received by the late arrivals from liv erpool a general affortment of eartbtt glass ware which they offer for faje wholefale and retail at their store no 50 st paul street lately occupied by james dunlop efq- on as good terms as can be had at any fiore in this city ware packed in the beft manner and a liberal difcount made for cafh cj country merchants and others are requeued to call green eaton montreal july 1 8 1 o 26 diversity moral- to bid farewell to all below the fun to diitole connection with all that now gives pieafure or pain to launch away to a world rude own are ideas included in the diltolu- tion of that myfterious tie which unites the immortal tenant to a houfe of clay what fecnescif wmder and amazement will unfold when uce the curtain drops h known only t thofe who have made the experiment- ljep ndi ig in our prcicnt iiate on bodily oigani for the excercife of all out mental powers we are incapable of forming any idea of the mode ol the exigence of difembodied iirit3 this is a fecrctf vii h for wife ends the divine author of our being fees fit to conceal from the ken of mortals leaving curious fpeeulations concerning the materiality or the immateriality of the foul to be debated in fchools of philofophy let us attend to thofe reflections which the certain pfofpect of a dying hour is calculated to infpire mult we fhortly clofe our eyeson all teneltrial fcenes why then mould we diilract our minds with anxiety in the various puriuits o life why harbor envy in our breads at thofe who are high fed in the lap ol fortune when we know that a ftw re volving funs will bring the period when death hall demolifh all diftinaions but thofe of virtue and vice why cherifli refent- tatmt even againft our moft inveterate en emies a fev moments and the lamp is exringuifhed and with it both their love and their hatred why value ourfelves on the advantages of birth the attainments of learn ing or the blandishments of beauty the grave knows none of thefe the rich and the poor the prince and the cottager the learned and illiterate here mingle in one common tour ofafta coming to the eafler7tfart of it he was one day afked by the cook u if his imperial majefly could relfh d chine of pork v with a brow frown ing dark as erebus and in a voice of thunder the monarch cried chine ha the affrighted cook fed and the exclamation became the name of the firjl kingdom upon earth the term hurricane hfuppof ed to take its rife from one harrv kane a turbulent lrijhman who livecd at antigua indeed the very namie antigua is now well known to be dc 1 j rived from an avaricious old fern a he planter who once lived on the ijland and was always called by the jailors aunt eager when ihe french firfl fettled on the banks of the river st lawrence they werejlinted by the intendant to a can offpruce beer a day that people thought this meafare very fcant and every moment articulated 6 can a clay would be ungenerous in our readers to defire a more rational derivation of the word canada a jolly weft indian whenever the neighboring girls came to his planta tion infijled on their fipping his choice ft fyrups and reiterated the terms my lasses thence the name of that tew words have aberrated leafed him from his iufferings l ondon paper oo of all the diverfions of life there is none fo proper to fill up its empty fpaces as the reading of ufeful and enteitaining authors and with that the converfation of a well cho- fen friend by reading we enjoy the dead by conver fation the living and by contemplation our felves reading enriches the memory con verfation polishes the wit and contemplation improves the judgment of thefe reading is the moll important which fu mimes both the others new goods 000o000- the subscriber has just received a fresh supply of goods amongst which are furniture and printed calicoes silk shawls cotton do ladies plain and figurd silk sleeves leno ditto kid gloves black worfted hofe cat pet ing veilings brown hollands checks c c all of which will be fold very low for cam or country produce b whitney kingston 1 1 th march 1 8 1 1 sheriffs sale midland djlricl 1qy virtue of a writ of vhs j jlj fkri facias lffued cut of his majeftys court of kings bench at the fuit of james robins of the town kingllon efquire againil the lands and ten ements of amos anfley of the towifhipol kingflon yeoman to me directed i feizedaud taken in execution as belonging to the faid amos anfley the north halt orw no 15 in the fecoud conceflion of the tow fhip of kiugllon containing by admeafore- ment one hundred acres be the fame more w lefs together with a log houfe fc framed tare thereon erected 1 do hereby ge j that the above mentioned lot of land wit j buildings and appurtenances thereunto op longing will be fold and adjudged totn higheil bidder at my office in the town next at the hour or ten oclock j t noon at which time and place the r r of fale will be made known charles stuart m and every perlon or perfens havl tr on the above defcribed lot cf land by gage or other right or incumbrance areu by advertiied to give notice to the faid iff at his office in the town of kingftnn vious to the fale thereof s sheriffs ojice id march 1 8 1 r 25 kingston centre street doct roberts armysur- geon and member of the royal col lege london may be confulted fiee of ex- pen fe every saturday from eleven oclock in the morning until four in the afternoon by fuch perfons whofe fituation renders them unable to defray the chargeof medical advice joseph t barrett fyntp from their primaries lefs than this a tippling huffey of grand cairo in the reign of ptolemy philadelphus m and beauty though once a ifijrf ssstlff w fforms the public that he has venus is here a repaft for worms one vwj f wthout formed an eilablifhment in the cm of faying a ftngle farthing and by this prudent management obtained the name of pollt tick the elder scali- il cpcii iur worms vjrie confideration more applies ftfelf with pecul iar force becaufe it involves eternal confe- quencea do we believe that we are beings defigned for an endlefs exiftence and that this life is a qate of probation mall we then tufier the objeds of a day to engrofs our whole attention shall we fpend our lives in purfuit of a bubble while we acknowledge that ffiort as i the race of life we run for an eternal prize forbid it heaven nor let it ever be faid that racional beings aft a partio abfurd the following eftay is copied from an old magazine and the reader will attach to it what credit he pleaes we give as we find it under the head of authentic ettmologies when lie feamen on board the fhip chriflopher columbus after a fi rm of j ungues came in fight of st salvador they burjt out into exuber ant mirth and pi lay the lads are gerduns scotus and erafmus all declare that the well known word politick or politicks is derl vedfrom this artful trollop gravel a philanthropic begs leave to comm montreal lower canada for the importation of india european piece goods ironmon gery hardware he will conftantly keep for fale an affortment compritlng every arti- cate to the world the following iimple dv for the gravel uni- cle m the above branches cf bufinefs as he mall import direy from the manufacturers he will engage to fell on the moft favorable terms either for cajb or approved credit a liberal difcount will be made to cajh pur- chafers e5p6oa 20 st francois xavier street n 2 7 montreal jan 10 181 1 sheriffs sale midland dijiritl y virtue ofawritof viz jd fieri facias iy out of his ma jettys court of kings bench at the fuit of boor asa f r tf j town of kingflon againft the lands and ten ements of andrlw johnson of eroeft town innkeeper to me dneed j ha feized and taken in executionas belonging to the faid andrew johufon the cad half of lot no 9 in the fnlt couceifion of the townfnm of ernefl r containing by admeafure- ment one hundred acres be the fame more or lefs togethet with a framed houfe and bam thereon ereed i do hereby give no- tice that the abovementioned lot of land with the buildings and appurtenances there unto belonging will be fold and adjudged to the higheil bidder at my office in the town of kingfton on tuefday the third day of march next at the hour often oclock in the forenoon at which time and place the con- ditions of fale will be made known charles stuart sbmf and every perion or perfons having claim on the above defcribed lot of land by mort gage or other right or incumbrance are here by advertiied to give notice to the laid sher iff at his oltice in the town of kingflon previous to the fale thereof sh herijp office 2d march 18 1 1 2 remc- noti ce diffolve three drachms of pre- pared natron in a quart of cold j he l of the crown and water and take this quantity in f and thofe who have of the courfe of the day continue this medicine for a few days and that painful complaint will be dif- jodged it may be taken any hour but is beft after a meal trie great- dt martyrs to this diforder have been perfectly relieved by thfcfinu licenfes of occupation in the midland d ii- ru are once more requeued to make imme diate payment of their a rears of rent to the inbknber who is author ifcd to receive the lame and grant receipts pjhofe who do not attend to this notice jjut i returned as defaulters charles stuart shcrifr sheriffs office jh n 24 such pcriuns as maybe diipof- edtocontraa forbuildinga bridge over he little cataraoui river on the second caactstan road are requelkd fend tlair propoiajs in writing tj the sw lcriber richard cartwright kingston may z t 1 s r 1 writing and wrap- ping paper lor fale at litis omcc pi in r v t a 1 vv n msh b by charles kendal