r 4f- t miscellany for the kingston gazette r i kon e r no 69 ccriiuiii iftiijperie mthi juhelut ctullus sif a mrrefpondent in your tenth paper promifed direclions for rendering marriages happy but as he lias forgotten his engagement i fend you the following observa tions which if not equal to the fub- cft mayjiavc the happy effect of jrounng him from his lumbers one of the moil common four- eesofthe mifery of marriages is the fuppofition that they can cure natural defects by acting as a kind of charm tlie newly married are not therefore prepared to encoun ter even fuch disappointments and oppofitions as they were accuftom- cd to bear when fmge but is it not more rational to believe that whatever defects we may have ci ther of body or of mind will be increafed but never leffened by iucii a connection without the ne- eetiry exertions on our own part of bodily infirmities i wifh not to peak as they have very little in fluence upon our happinefi or mif- ery it is the defects of the mind that embitter the domeflic life render home a place of torment i know indeed that many exam ples may be found of marriages tui juivl lccobid d fecund educa tion which cured all the defects cither left or engrafted by the firft when a man of fenie and difcre- tion for example happens to mar ly a woman rather giddy than vi cious of a good heart but uncul tivated undcriiandlng he may con trive to give her imperceptibly the rteceiiary information to exhibit in fhong colors the ad van 1 ages of prudence and circumfpecuon and 1 he evils which flow from ihonght- leffnefs and vice but to fuececd ir is neeeitary that the woman be naturally a peribn of found fenfe trnkk in difcerning what is juft proper and refolutc to abftain even ivpm the mod favorite purfuits when their impropriety is pointed c r- rr t i qualiiks on both fides can very rareiv be ex peeled for we can ve ry feldom name among ail our ac quaintances two pcrfoiis capable of inftrueting one another in this zrianner were it poflible then that cither the man or the woman was cjuaiiiied to point out the cle- iicicncic of their partner it would not follow that the faults would be corrected they might be hewn with malignant fupcriority clci- eribed in exaggerating colors men tioned with too much harfhnefs mid even wiien noticed in the mofl conciliating manner they may not appear defects in the eyes of the guilty perfon at all events an education oi this kind can feldom be truficu becaufe the parties are not often capable of beeominir m after and fcholar it requires much addreu and knowledge on ths one hand much docility and good fenfe on the other cemented by the itrongeir affection to make it palatable it is consequently more for our purpofe to felect one or two llrong rules which can be cnilty underitood and calily put in practice rules which require no great itrctch cf thought to com- pcheud them or of judgment to pit them in operation the firft ju is c a uniform defire to pi cafe very fine truly my reader will perhaps exclaim and who is ig- jorant of this lagc maxim did ever any body doubt that a mutu al defire to pleaie v- the moft ef fectual fource of domefde felicity in aniver to this i mult honettly confefs that i do not profefs to de liver new rules for the regulation of morals or the conduct of life- the world is too old to leave any thing original to be faid on fab jes which folicit daily attention and which have been the fertile topics of inftmcrion in every age it is enough if we can place an old rule in a new point of view call up the attention of many to its importance who never regarded it before and detail 1 he advanta ges which will naturally proceed from its ftcady practice now al- tlio mod ladies and gentlemen are convinced that they never can be reckoned good company un- lefs they ftudy to be civil and po lite in their intcrcourfe will the world yet they feldom bring this rule home thev feem to leave all their affability condefeenfion and amenity at the door and never al low them entrance into their hou- fes drums is dftng2ifhcd in company for ids good humor his eairf of manners his mild ad- drefs and his anxiety 10 pieaie whit excellent company is dru fus molt peopic lw hi- concilia- tmg hank cheerful ccnvcr ration charms every one he is always leaf always reay to ounge follow this polite gentleman home look at him as he i hrows himfelf into his chair bids me is this the cheerful companion who was jo eaiy merry and polite a few moments ago what a frown what 1 forbidding look the boy comes in with hi flippers to take his boots and if he does nor phec the bootjack in the proper portion he receives from this mild mailer a fevere kick tlie children know their father too well to come near him and thev are flealing a fear- f ul joy in a dillant corner of the room when a voice like thunder orders them out mis wife ap pears without a finite her face is full of anxiety lealt her beloved vuv iv in a ihv fh liak- u him with hedtatioii lie anfwera harfhly have you been sgrecally entertained this evening mv dear i no is fupper ready it will be ferved in a lew minute it not on the table vh t r i 1 y is wh e vy ny you have juft come in it would hdve fpoiled to have diflied it before you came home you have always fomc mifcrablccxcof it is paft the ufual time be quick about h let it lc oil the table immediately or i will not eat a bit now isitpof- fible for any man offenie and dru- fus is not a fool tofuppofc that he incrcaies his own happincis by be coming proud haughty and fu- pereilious in his own family pee- vilh to all his domeilics morole in lus conducl and angry when he finds any of them pleafcd a few days ago his wife went to vilit a lick neighbor leaving drums drinkig his pint of wine alter dinner at which time he is gent- left at home there was only one girl in the houfe who was in the nurfery with the children 1 lie wine happened to pleafe the gen tleman belter than ufual and i e determined to indulge in another pint but there was no more on the table and the cafe flood with the keys in it about three teps from his chair he rin the bell nobody anlwers he rings again flill a filcnce his brows were now knit and wrath cratherm fafc but to demonftrate the yaft extent of his patience he gives peal the third filence ftiil no mortal cries drufus could bear thishe runs to the kurly for he knew there vas only one girl in thehoute and there u beholds one of his children akp on one knee and the lucking imaut on the other this pi dure to moil people would have been a t ckra- bie excufe for not anfwering the bell not lb to drulus he vom its out the molt terrible threats unable to contain himfelf lie give the drl a box on the car the woman aftoniihed jumps up kts tlie ileeoino child fail on the foot of the cradle throws the infant nn the bed and runs out fcreaidng murder your iil tempered peo ple never like to reflect on the mil- chief thev have done they endea- vor to fuile thought audio iorce tranquillity of mind drufus re turned to his wine without ck-ign- inq to look at the children he wilhed to believe that lit had done nothing amifs that they would lie where they were till his wife returned but their icveams obli ged him to retrace his iteps and as he does not warn affection tho he is fo peeviih and ill tempered he was idled with horror on uer iii2 the nurfery to fee hi- little grl margaret welteiinjr in iicr uiood iaelixted tier up sclound that ihc had cut herfelf hwerely on the head by her fall here wa- an end to histrarquvbtry hecould no helo blam-ue- his laamei cf had 1 taken the trouble ofiicp- of difrrencc and mi civ i nranr for the fcrvanc a to n have been laved but bad -a- pcr pccviincis ail are no always with the kthard not perhaps fo freqaefitly as wit the wife and a ater numer ol famhics arc dillurbed by the per- verfenefs of the lady titan the fuenncis of tle creritleruan- there are many women who arc in the great id terrors leaitk ihoiiid be fuppofed that tb are nol the hits as thiy explain it not mere ly in direciing the internal econo- my of their familic but tlie huf- band too tlvw dr careful there- 9 forctd contradicb their partner on all occailons rijriit or vioir if he with to go cd they are dc- termlncd that he fit ii go were if fouth north to yield a tingle point would be in their opinionj highly ui graceful they rath r chooie to keen their houle in con- tmua uprvar it may appear cu rious that fuch women fliould coii- hder that obedieree which crn- uitutes the true honor of wife her gveatcit difgrace and that they fhould rather be diipofed to break their vow taken at the altar to be fubrniffive and obedient than to keep it thus chooling perjury h rnifery rather than contentment and peace yet no man can be at a i of s for many fuch examples in tlie circle of his acquaintance not that i think the woman fhould be a cypher in hcv own houfe her o- bedience is the fubmiffion of love and as long as it remains ib the commands while flte obeys it is by her foftnefs her iviidcrncls fcction that flic regulates the prudiit to cultivate htcnefs and to be civil to a our focial intercrurfe it i f more neceifary to phh t p ion we are iru eting t rnn of vhc day as i i p off r- onccuior j a will fmooth ranees one co another crr-hmg- fulkv fits which r r of the lives of the n render them fo mi fen hanifiifd and frniles rrd will take up their haullv the houfes of all who as 7 to direct ihcmielve lv pie and obvious precept the tecfeft tprds hv i 2 n u ifvjil ivc oer ocai iltiu and ihcr riet its l stares mtk rm urh o f si- tiry mid furrow j and 1 vd ler ka f stac r now ai ivilh bxitej c rr r trio faiirj tint k hev tfl aid l ro-l- 1 with rut i eil h i y it mil and date fii think p1 r hfi rahi unhallow m ai n thin to ftrt m2 no jfjcmd un f i r- by i i al rr ii r lie in v i r i pntaa s vu- k s ic t rr- 111 lie o j j v l vu it k i i iv n ric l fihri j- j ji 1- i our c tsf yit be vic10ry a thk welch poetic 1 vc 1 i i wjyily unmovti to inoft otour rei the following iatvr- pinion f the tranllitcn- wnuins loanv valuable nhferrrai ks c i l r lie three foundations of i szvg die gift of god httnsa citioav and the event of j- i lie three lirit rcqaifar- f n- i eye to lee nature a juit to feel it and a rcfoiution ik clare follow it j lie three things ndilpcn to genius underuandiiig modi ton and perveranee the rhree things thaterrobfett r v ddcretionand know ledec xiie auee tokens ni caiu c traordinary unclerilancling ex traordirary conducl and extraor- dinaxy exertions the three tbincrs that inrrovj genius proper exertion frequent exertion and fuccefsful exertion the three thimrs that flippy i jtcnm proipenty locial acuwc tancc and apolaule the three qualifications of port- ry endowment of cenius mr incut from experience and toici- ty of thought the three pillars of karniflg feeing much fullering mucm w ritintr much wifnes of ler jmlband iinoorhs olt his aijvniks and makes him printot ma publuhd tv stephen miles a flwdottt ealofvalkta5 w aelighr in an ieipatiug her clefires l yf u am wft i i um ono defire nleale it pnrmve tffr wfti uniform defire is not eafy to conceive isr