Kingston Chronicle (Kingston, ON1819), March 17, 1832, p. 1

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r kotos to published weekly by james macfarlane at his i office in front street kingston ii p i chronicle office in front slreet kingsion uc sec rege nec populo sedjtroque c seventeen shillings and sixpence per annum i if sent by mail twenty shillings vol 13 for the cftronfcf to the inhabitants of upper canada mr fixow cocntrtm the period has arrived when it becomes the imperative dy of every well wisher to your personal and political prosperity to offer you that advice of which many of you are rendered destitute by the xer- aeeofan arbitrary influence over your passions by persona pretending to b your friends but whom upon reflection you will find have no other object io view beyond the indulgence of their own groundless and splenetic tempers it would be impossible from tho smallness of the number of such agitators to accomplish their purposes unless aided and assisted by your cooperation and in order to secure that they have left no stratagem unattained to persuade you that you are misgoverned oppressed aggrieved and pre- serried for your signatures petitions to the home government containingthe most palpable false hoods and abounding with the most abusive epithets upon the conduct of the present execu tive i ask you therefore in th spirit of candour of what do you complain 7 how do you fcel op pressed or aggrieved arc you loaded with taxes are you labouring under excessive bur thens ofrent or tythes ar you called upon to support a ministry of which you are not mem bers 7 are the laws partially or corruptly ad ministered are your roads neglected or your produce whea brought to market deterio rated in value by tolls or customs no my friends you will answer mo with the same open frankness with which i apply these questions and yon will conscientiously say that none of these evils necessary in the constitution of oth er countries have reached you of what then i rvcnii liitgmltaxuunqloini iiuwhaa qainam you suppostd to be injured your soil is produc tive your markets are steady your religion is tolerated your children are edited the com modities of hfe are given to you at a price little abort the english markets why then comply with the wishes of self interested faction 7 who is the leader of it a worthless demagogue who possesses only as much prudence as can preserve him from the vengeance of those laws that he is every hour indirectly violating con you for a moment suppose that the individual whose press is proverbial for every violation of virtuous and dignified principle could be listened to at home for one moment can he so far in fatuate you with the boasted exhibitions of bis a- biliiies to represent imaginary grievances in eng land as to lead you to suppose that for one mo ment the colonial office- would be open to him no myfriends twice to the eternal disgrace of the county of york he has been elected as the representative of the people and was tupce txpeued the louse of assembly do you suppose or can he persuade you that if he once crosses the atlantic he will ever return to canada no his plot is developed his press will be sealed bis illacquired stock disposed of and the im pression of his footstep will never polluto the soil of that country whose prospects he would ere he leaves it blight by the contaminating in fluence of his ignorant pen by whom is he supported is it by those whose father or grandfathers were canadians whose ancestors settled here by legitimate inheritance whose principles or whose practices could stand the glare of noonday light no he is sup ported by half a dozen whom he lias deluded into the snare and who were happy to make him the instrument by which republican principles uuid ettgdj eheae men never can ne ver will jbwt their minds of the imaginary wessings of that form of government and hia press was the only one which could be found to echo their convictions he calls on you to raise your voice against the executive of the province bat he will call in vain my friends read the christian guardian but rood it with caution see the object of the rev editor does he confine himself to the circu lation of those principles of faith and practice which belong to his profession does he not under the mask of religion do his utmost to render repugnant to his readers the governor of the province in every paragraph to casta elw upon the policy that cannot be identified with republican usage i ask you is this the religioa of our common redeemer ho preach ed peace on earth good will towards men arc religion and politics to be thus blended are von not aware of the deception if not awake now and in future mark tho insidious- ness with which political and religious feelings are exposed see the sums the immense sums of money thothave been expended by the british government to render you accessible to the re motest end of the provinces have you felt the burthens of the wellondorthc rideau carfkls have you not realized the benefit of the former while the latter is now ready to transport your produce without experiencing those dangers hi therto unavoidable consider how our country has progressed how emigration is encouraged how the arts arc beginning to evince their influ ence consider and reflect before you are du- nod to give your signature to any document how far your conscience can justify the deed- con- aider who it is that demands that signature weih well his motives his owcgiancf his legit imate claim to interference his acre alary tistotft his subsequent conduct j and then say as in ho nor and justice you are bound to say we en joy many blessings wc are exempt from many dangers we know what we possess but wo know not what a change may produce let us satfrday march 17 1832 no 38 name for such a continuation of those privilege which canada forms a solitary instance of pos sessing under a just governmont and a fair re presentation and then defy the malice or h- trigue of men to rob you of your birthright i have written in plain language io you it is intelligible to all of you read and meditate up on what i say i am one of yourselves belong to no party unpaid by government liviig by my industry but still your sincere wellwisher htbernicus for the chronicle the core a vision a cure a cure was the general cry as it ran through each crowded place and brightened many a sunken eye as the great discoverer passed by whilst they join the general chase a reward a reward we will make thee great if the secret thou wilt reveal said a sickly and haughty man of state who had been fading for years of late do but the remedy tell the disco vrerpsusd all gatherd him round the young and the aged too and the silence was awful as twas profound in that thiong was not heard a single sound and the number was far from few canst thou consumption cure oh soy said a youth with a hollowd cheek which shewd he was hastening fast away that death had singled him out for prey and his voice was low and weak and next came forward a lovely maid but twould seem on her cheek the rose had already commeoed to wither and fade i am dying io accents low she said u oh give my mind repose then steppm forth a diatinguishd rake m cure me he bitterly cried if so thee of men i will richest make all that i have thou canst freely take and believe me i have not lied and all who consumptive to him then carte the rich as also the poor he healed and men extolld his name a god they cried so great his fame so wonderful thought his cure oh twas a glorious sight to see the great destroyer of men oercome by the simple remedy a branch plockd off from a withered tre could restore the life again but is it so 7 why write the reply when is drawn tho heavy breath and the faded cheek and the sunken eye which seem to utter prepare to die tis too true a sign of death earths fnna forms have been hurried away too soon from here to heaven and numbers have yet to pass away the young and the lovely the great and gay ere a certain cure is given saladin the bashful man let him who has never suffered from the hor rors of bashfulness pass by this article he will here find nothing with which he can sym pathize- but he who knows the exquisite mise ry of a temperament whose very nature almost shuts him out from human sympathy while it opens upon bim tho foliialtuc uilaiigiucr ajkli ridicule he should only read for he only eaa un derstand this chapter of ray sufferings to all others it will be only a sealed fountain as my object is but to give a specimen of the numerous conterttmpt that incessantly beset me the moment i appear in ladies society i shall merely speak of thuse that befell me at the only dinner in paris to which 1 was invited though laden with introductory letters i never delivered another i pass by the various efforts i made before i could muster sufficient resolution to deliver to madame 0 the onethat was procured for mc and a friend who came with me to the dinner in question i pass by too my trepidation at the everlasting peal which the bell responded to my to get through i introductory ceremonies as soon as possiblcand ihen to ensconce myself in some remote comer where the world facetting by the world forgot i might escape at notice or remark as i hastened n all glowing with confusion and quaking witti fright just as i began to bow i stumbled overnhu detested pet and was sud denly precipitator head foremost into the lap of miss p overtoning episodically a countryman of my own who was sealed next her balancing his chair on its tao hind legs to save himselfj he grasped the bsek of her chair and his weight at the rear actinfst the same moment that i was hurled against br in front decided all hesita- tfptxj and over we all rolled together the chairs uppermost thevilo cur who had been at the bottom of the wfcole mischief seized me by the leg and receivings hearty kick in return add ed his howling w he chorus of dismay that now filled the apartment happily the female sufferer in this melee engroaed all toe sympa- thy and attention of the company but i well knew that in the hort minute that had elapsed since i entered the apartment i hid made three mortal enemies til a man a dog and a lady for my own part as soon as had extricated myself from the terrible crash i retreated into the most obscure corner of the room where i sought to hide myself and my overwhelming mortification belled the gucsta who were loung ing about there the call to dinfier served as a relief to my em barrassment for i hoped that that would en gross every one attention which now i coutd not help feelingflmst be occupied withmyawk- wardness follov he company into the din ing room i saw bat each plate contained a card on which im written the name of the guetf who to occupy tho place thus doiig- nated evefy one seemed to find his own place by magic but for me four or five times did 1 make the ciwuitof the table looking in vain for mine indeed i know not but i might have continued mentng about unnoticed among the bal j crowd of secants all dinner time had not ma dame 0s xe at length detected mo as i circled round and rund with an hysterically increas ing rapiditrny eyes dim with confusion and a clammy prapiration bedewing every pore of my body aid i at length sunk into my scat when found fairly exhausted with mortification and shame here again 1 found myself em barrassed wlh my hat which having observed that all rctrined in their hands while in the drawing roan i still grasped ith nervous perti nacity thisi at length disposed of as i thought at the time with wonderful ingenuity fori hung it at the brirobctween my knees spreading my handkerchufiovcr its open cavity my seat was next to a young lady whom of course i was expected to entertain i entertain wofully ahady had i entertained the whole company bt i found myself infinitely better adapted to entertain a company en masse than singtdatin the ordinary routine of a french dinner now commenced soup and bouile fish and fowl and flesh entftments and hors tfatuortt while a regular seriaof servants at our elbows inviting us to partak of a thousand different dishes and as many difft kinds of wine all under strings of names wkich i no more understood than i understood iheir composition or than they did my gaucheri resolute to apid all further op portunities frr displaying my predominant trail i sat in the most obstinate silence saying oui- to every thing that was offered me and eating most dttofeii appiwatbpjt tab in a raf fair neighbir inquired if t were fond of ctaujltur i verily toe it to be tho french for custard pud ding and high was my panegyric of it that my plate bountifully laden with it alas one single louthful was enough to dispel my il lusion wild that the thou fintr had vanished along with but that remained bodily and as i gazed spondingly at the huge mas that loomed up b i i and as burning as vesuvius my heart did within me ashamed to confess my mistakt though 1 could almost as readily have swallsred an equal quantity of soft soap i struggled manfully on against the diabolical compound i endeavored to sap the moun tainous lnap at its base and shutting my eyes and openmg my mouth to inhume as larc mass es a i coukl without stopping to taste it but mjfc stomach soon began intelligibly enough in intimate its intention tu admit no more of this nauseous stranger beneath its roof if not even of expelling that which bad already gained unwclcon c admittance the senousnesa of th task i had undertaken and the resolution necessary to execute it had given an earnestness and rapidity to my exer tions which appetite would not have inspired when my plateaving somehow got over the edge of the table upon my leaning forward tilted up and down slid the disgusting mass into my lap my handkerchief unable to bear so weighty a load bent under it in it turn and a great pro portion of it was thus safely deposited in my hat the plate instantly rightad itself as i raised my person and as i glanced my eye round the table and saw that no one had noticed my dis aster i inwardly congratulated myself that the nauseous deception was so happily disposed of resolving not to be detected t instantly rolled my handlprchief together with all its remaining cnntenlsrthd whipped it into inv pocket the dinner table wa at length deserted for tho drawingroom where coffee and liquors were served round meantime i lid sought out what i considered a safe hiding place for my beneath a chair in the diningroom for i liinv notcarryitany longerin my hund having first thrown a morsel of paper in the crown to hide the cauliflower froth view ahould any one chance in seeking for his own hat to look into am- with hour my fanneighbor weary ofmy taciturnity and her own at length began a conversation by inquiring how i was pleased with the opera the question was put in an unlucky moment i was just raising a large morsel of potatoe to my mouth and in orderto reply asquick as possible i hastily thrust it in intendiog to swallow it as hastily heavens it was hot as burning lava- what could i do 7 the ladys eyes were fixed waitings reply to her questions but my mouth was in flame in vain i rolled the burning mor sel hither and thither rocking my head from side to side while my eyes which involuntary i fix ed on her were straining from their sockets she regarded my grimaces of the cause of which 1 believe she was ignorant wilh an expression timid touch scarcely could i distinguish the j paruz ok snisjf over the portora lodge where probably swiss never stood since its creation i pass by too several minor blunders such as asking the porter to direct us to tachambrede madam meaning her drawing room suffice it to say that my les nervous companion bold ly led the way that having traversed a goodly number of courts and stairs wo at length arriv ed safely at an anteroom where stood a servant beforo a pair of folding doors which he threw wide open and announced us by a pair of names that we never should have recognized as our own had we met them elsewhere already agitated and perspiring with nervous trepidation this ostentatious mode of entrance so different from the simplicity to which i was accustomed was a formidable trial to me my cheeks tingled my knees trembled and my heart beat violently i slunk silently behind my una bashed companion and endeavored to gather sufficient courage to conceal the tremor that shook me like an aguefit madame 0 rose to receive us and as we approached her it became necessary that i should get from behind my friend but in so doing i did not notice a large pet dog who comfortably stretched on a red elvet cushion lay napping beside his mistress know not what a changs my v nxioift onlv ihtn be mufid nd copied nd in god i lilmlj in my path on i en nxous onl of amazement and surprise at which i can laugh now when i think of it monsieur est malade at length she gently and in an anxious tone inquired i could bear no more my mouth was flayewith intolera ble pain so quietly abandorufig the point i opened it to ils utmost and out dropped the in fernal firebrand upon ray plate not the slight est tendency to a smile visibly ruffled the imper turbable politeness of the lady she soothingly condoled with me on my misfortune then gradu ally led the conversation to a variety of topics ill exerting the magic influence that true polite- nessalways exercises i began to forget my own 1 blunder gradually my checks burned less painfully and i could even join in the conversa tion without the fear that every word 1 uttered shared the fate of every action i attempted- i even ventured to hope nay to congratulate my self that the catalogue of my calamities was completed for the day ltt no man call himself happy before death said solon j and he said wisely the ides of march were not yet over before us stood a dish of cauliflower nicely done in butter this i naturally enough took for a custard pudding which it sufficiently resembled unfortunately my vocabulary was not extensive enough to em- braco technicalities of the table and when my mine on my return to the drawingroom 1 chanced to he again seated by the lady by whom i had sat next at dinner our conversation was na turally resumed and we were in the midst of ani mated discussion when a huge spider was seen runping on her arm u take it off lake it off she ejaculated in a terrified tone i was always afraid of spiders so to avoid touching him with my hand i caught my hand kerchief from my pocket and clapped it at ones upon the miscreant who was already mounting over her templt with rapid strides gracious heavens i had forgotten the cauliflower which wa now plastered over her face like an emo- tient poultice fairly killing the spider and blind ing an eye of tho lady while little streamlets of soft butt or glided gently down her neck and bo som mondieu mon dieu exclaimed the as tonished fair mon dieu was echoed from every mouth have you cut your head inquired one non i non laraignee iaraignee-moo- sieurviedtdecraser laraignce quelle quantity dentrailles ejaculated an astonished frenchman unconsciously to him self w01 aafet jw he rtoibe the spray of the execrable vegetable had spattered her dress from head to foot for myself the moment the accident occurred i had mechanically returned my handkerchief to my pocket but its contents remained what a monster it must have bwn obser ved a young lady as she helped to relieve my victim from her cruel situation l- declare i should think he had been living on cauliflower at that monpnt i felt some ont touch me and turning i saw my companion who hid come with me look at your pantaloons he whispered already half dead with confusion at thcisastcr i had caused i cast my eyes upon ny once white dress and saw at a glance the horrible extent of my diletnrna i had been silting upon the fated pocket and had crushed out the liquid butter and the soft pastelike vegetable which had daubed and dripped down them till it seemed as if 1 wore actually dissolving in my panla- ed from the houso jumppd into a carriage ved safely at home heartily resolving that to my last hour i would never again deliver a let ter of introduction the token ot rtqoetj to the sons of st patrick 1 0 come paddies and celebrate the da which shews to your foes a close and firm array heroes as you are lay by your every jar and keep for your enemies the brazen front of war ii let all party feeling forever cease to ba let it be a crime not to chime in joyous revelry st paddys day the 17th it now is near at hand when lit drove the snakes from our bogs and brakes and sanctified forever our sacred sainted land ill rouse rouse ye bold hibernians the foe is near at hand from many a yankee bed the snake peeps out his head and wishes now to banish us from our country land themselvesjx wretched pauper crew canadian shores they sought and how they got their wealth whether by fraud or stealth or if by labour hard they never were debarred from gfiuing utyjivji cuyjm and keeping what they got v poor pauper lodgers they received in britains door now they cry let them die we will none of britains poor but ye long yankee we will nsver thank yc for our right we will fight and turn you out of door for every shamrock lifts its head huzza huzza ww opinion i far from lubfing the commission of suicide arc inexplicable on that hypothesis they were most probably occasioned while the victim was dragged to the place of suspension by the legs rubbing against some furniture in the apartment or after he was suspended by violently withdrawing the chair after discussing the material circumstances of the princes death the disputants took up ha moral considerations attending tfefc act into these we must decline entering for obvious rea sons the more so as the medical jurists in question seem to beswayedby an undue political bias and to view the facts of the case with over much of the spirit of party with us shine of the particulate recently disclosed w must con fess have considerable weight we- allude to the o id man winding op il ms watches as usual tho knot on his handkerchief to remind him of something to be done next day his wauktrowo love of life and often expressed abhorrence of suicide the melancholy upon which m marc lays the chief stress in his moral survey will scarcely bear him through his hypothesis we ought pro n my to have mentioned sooner thatm marc was and we believe is pbyaician in ordinary to his majesty louis philippe atc dtcai g a sea view a sunimpurpled glow is on ihc waveless sea and not a breeze doth blow and not a sail i see like heavens own pavement bright is now the placid deep on which the farewell light of sunset loves to sleep thus beautiful in death where latest rosea blush london literary gazette i h lifts huzza loons darting from the spot i sprang to the place whew i had left my hat but before i could reach it a audden elorm of wrath wm heard at the door sncrre bete sacrresacrrre the last syllable bein made to roll tkc a watch- mans rattle mingled with another epithet and name that an angry frenchman never spares wos heard likeaficvee tempest wilhoutthcdoor suddenly there was a pause agurghng sound an of one swallowing involuntary- nd the storm of wrath apiin broke out wth redoubled fury i seized my hat and opened tho door end the whole matter was at once explain we had exchanged hat and therehe stood the soft cauli flower gushing down his cheeks winding hs cyas filling his mouth hair mustachos cars and whiskers never shall i forget im ptaclo there ho stood astride like the lolossu forward his eyes forcibly closed l drooping out from his body and dnppmg cauli flower and butter at every poro i maid no longer butretaininglmnoi nnd icld the late duke de bourbon it may be interesting at tha present moment h a medicolegal poiqhof view to notice some rf the circumstances which attended the death tf this prince it was an event which had it dfcurred at any other time than so soon as it did after the late revolution vould have excited considerable enquiry not only in france but throughout europe even as it was the sub- t was not unmooted by the medical jurists gf tfce french academie their memoirs were in c0iaequence given to the profession one by m- marc in the annate dhygiene et de medecine legale another by m dubois of atniena m the revue medicals and ano ther by m gcndrin in the transactions me- dkales all professing to elucidate the causes of his royal highness deatk m mare maintained that the prince had com mitted suicide mm dubois and gendrln that he might have been murdered some of the reaons aaigned were the following there were no marks of external violence upon the body except whew iha nooao waa ucd print of this round his neck was oblique from each side proceeded upwards and backwards without any appearance of pressure behind from which circumstance m marc infencd that the strangulation was not effected by the hands of others as then th mark would be parallel or nearly soto tbelowerjaw the same physician also observed that if the assassins bad done the work they would have used a rope or a cord and not the old mans neckcloth to which m dubois replied that the absence of mailta of violence proved nothing against the supposition of murder there would have been no need of violence with a feeble person of 74 lying in his bed assassins might just as readily have em ployed a handkerchief as a cord and the obli quity of the print merely showed the direction of the violence and by no means excluded the supposition that it was inflicted by other hands m gendrin fully coincided in this view of the case it should further be observed that m marc though he denied thd existence of external wjoj y except from the noose admitted that there were excoriations one particularly on the outer and fore part of the right leg bloody uneven about six inches in length by two in breadth and on the left leg were other similar marks hut not quite so large these m marc pretended to con sider as so fur from corroborating tho hypothesis of assassination that tho y perfectly explained how the suicide was effected in precipitating himself off the choir and during hi convulsive struggles he rubbed his legs against the project ing edge of the sat mdubois thinks this a gratuitous hypothsia for the excoriation might have been produced by the friction of any other body as wtfl as by tho edge of the chair and cvn supposing that it was the chair there was nothing to preclude the additional supposition that the injury was inflicted while tho prince was being hung by assassins the reasonings of m gendrin load him also to a conclusion quite the reverse of m marc the excoriations in his washington irving there stands washington irving author of the sketch book in his modest deportmaafey asy attitude we see all the grace and jignirttrf an english gentleman washington irvtng is well known is by birth an american if all the americans were of the sfn cast of figure and appearance wo should be happy to recog nisein ihem what our neighbours ofthesjj tish soil ar proud to hail in their owngaifbt dundasses the fact that every mothers son was amtt commeu cut such however is not the case our friend captainbasil hall has in his celebrated travels through yankeo land given us a few leaves from the mmeriears chesterfietd which does not exactly place yfc manners of the children of jonathan in the most amiable or delectable point of view f he ton a- thoninn arttittr etegantiantm talks of the impro priety of smoking and chewing a quid and spit ting on the floor and carpet and a thoofand o- ther gaucheriesj which are characteristic of our transatlantic brethren the yankee chester- field however might have exempted the smok ers from his anathema we flatter ourselves that we are patterns of gentility and we patron ise the best of woodvilles and our frieods lockbart and sir waller scott are also eminent smokers and will give ds as correct a judgment on the quality of cheroot and havannah as our philosophic coloridgct can on brandy or thomp sons and fearons stomachic fifly degrees a- bove proof tom campbell however takes no delight in a cigarro the source of his solace ex isting in the impure channel of a pipe common ly j v twia ill jpot4rores fn- a fcahpermy we knov m if mr washington irving be a emnk- er j butto judge by his gentlemanly appearance he ought to be one smoking is and alwaya has been a healthful nnd fashionable english custom there were schools nd professors es- tablished her for the purpose of teaching the mystery of smoking on the firat introduction of the virginian weed and thaode of explicat ing the smoke out of ones mouth is at present as it weitiishibboleth demonstrative of on en- m man mgton irving catne early in ufa v glish m mong us and has made himselt a welcoms d nicn in our realm of literature while ho waa yet a fresh importation all the town were agog after bim as though ho were a gentle monster brought over for a ninedays wonder from soma par off island in the western main we had heard so much of the virginia planter and backwoodsmen and kentuckymen and squatters and other nondescript savages that we could hardly conceive any thing in the shape of a gentlemanly biped coming from america we were however agreeably surprised and so great a favourite had mr irving become in an inconceivably short time that his sketek honk aaj0katbridc hall and taksofa 7vtf- velier anff knickerbockers hittory ware bought up with greedy curiosity and pleasbrw in eng land which is the true mart for talent and ge nius old men chuckled to see typified in the page of those works the pure diction and grace of addison and a revived portrait of the times of sir roger de coverley young fellows laughed outright at the legends of swampy marsh and dismal hollow arid the uncouth and quaint pic tures of the old dutch settler and youn dam sels sighed and wept over tho beautiful scenes of love and pailioa wilh which the youthful and eloquent american knew well how to bewitch their senses from being a nine days wonder therefore mr irving has very justly settled into tho prido of transatlantic authorship and a etandard writer among british men of genius

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