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Blu’ebeard’s wife had just pceped in- to the forbidden chamber. “1: was the kitchen," he explained,“andthe cook always snapped their heads off for do~ ing it.” Thus we see how the ages have maligned the poor man'svchar- a-cter. Editor: "Have y'ou interviewed that female criminal?” “Reporter: “I have tried to ” Editor: "Tried- to?" Re- porter; “Yes, but she refuses to talk. ” Editor: “Refuses to talk! Head your article ‘Man in Disguise? and make it three _columns on the first page}? Customer to Bookleller: “I want to purchase a book of jokes.” Booksel- le’r: "I'll sell you this joke book foi' half price becausg it’: a little dam- “Winn you do something you know is wrong doesn't it still, small voice keep reminding you of it eternally?” “A still, small voiccn guess you never met my wife, did you?" “Ah! pretty hdy,” saidjhe fortune teller, .“you wish to be told about your future hinband?” -“No," rcpfied Mrs. Gaitoni‘ “I want'to- know where my present husband is when he’s ibsent." “You seem to have a great deal of trouble with your automobile. What do you call it?" “True love." “True lo've? Gracious! Why?” “Because true love never did mn.smooth." “What kind of 3 looking man is that chap Gabhleton? I don' t believe I have met him. ” “Well, if you see two men in a-éome‘r, and one , of them looks bored? to death, ‘the’ other-one is Gabhletoh!” “Fifty miles an hour,” said the mo~ torist as he plowed his ,way through the c0untry._ “Have you the grit to stand it?” he said tolrhis lady companion. “Oh, yes, I’ve got the grit,” she replied, as she swallowed an~ other mouthful of‘ dust. “Papa!" little Tommy began. “Now, what d6 you want?" asked his suffer- iu'g father, with the emphasis on the “now." “Will my hair fall off when it’p ripe, like yours?" His Lordghip:*“Whn¢v¢-r could you have been thinking of to steal the sheep?” The Prisoner: "! dunno. my Lord; I must ha’ been wool-gather- ~Mr.- Nprich ' (enga'ging valet):_ "I warn you that I am frequently ill- iem- pe'red hm! mi. " Valet (cheerfully): “That' _I all right. air; so am I" (Emmet-wan AND WISE. He: “It’ s absolutely useless to argue further. You ought to know that. My will. iv of iron.” She: “Yes. I k no vâ€".‘piz~iron.” “Young Screecher has a remarkable imagination. He 1: a great thinker.” “Indeed.“ “Yes; he mink; he can sing.” ' Fine Bakery Goods M 16! m PARK Mr. Brown is greatly interested in all kinds of scientific problems The other evening he laid down his paper and remarked to his wife: “That’s odd. " “What?” she inquired. “Why, the statement that it would take 12,- 000,000 years to pump the sea dry at the rate of 1.000 [lane a second.” She thought over t e statement for a ten seconds. and the innocently asked “Where would they put all the wa- ter?” HIGHLAND PARK-I PHONE. Tncher: “You hvc teen with the microscope the many little cruciate: which exist in a glass of watct. What have you learned about them?” One of the little girls helfi up he: hand. “Well, Mary?” “I! you please, teacher, I know now whu make- the‘ kettle sing when the water begins to boil. It’s those little animals squenling for pain ! "I'll take it, ‘ I can’t see when it' a damaged. ” tenet (pocketing the money): “You’ll see it when you read the jokesâ€"mgr re all cracked.‘ FIRST CLASS LABOR EMPLOYED ELECTRICAL CONTRACTOR. 130 N. anr 81-. II. FRIEBELE Full Line of Mixed PaQnte. Japalac. Vimiah-Staina, Vindow-Shades‘Brushea. Glass. Etc. Late“ Design; in Wall Paper All Work Guaranteed Telephone 245 for Eatimntel, 30580313: ran The News-Letter ICE CREAM AND ICES Painter, Decorator and Paper Hanger "3 F. B. GREEN F. J. LEUER Moan: (examining TELEPHONE 2491 REPAIRING A Sncmnv. ILLINOIS - xuxsr BLOCK. CENTRAL AVE Charles A- K0151 HIGHLAND PARK ‘. ILLINOIS Phone £07 7HE RELIABLE LAUNDRT. " ST. PETER BROTHERS. Proprietors Launderers, and Carpet and Rug Cleaners . GEO. F'. BOCK 14 to 16 Central Avenue The best there is in Staplgand Fancy Groceries 22 Central Ave. . For High Grade Groceries at Moderate Prices All fresh seasonable Vegetables that are in the market. ,JI a J! .1. ORDERS BY PHONE PROMPTLY FILLED. "Not how Cheap but how Good" téOuoee-tothepouod WemtskzyourCupctsde inthcmoming“ clunthan, and return than a?“ 4". Let u; shov you whtvncando. J" J J J Itral Avenue Phones 54 md 35 HIGHLAND PARK, ILLINOIS .GIPP Highland Park, Illinois Phone 173 3‘32: