Highland Park Public Library Local Newspapers Site

Highland Park News-Letter (1904), 31 Aug 1907, p. 12

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OLIANINOI â€"W!8I All!) the madman MM and for twenty minute: Gtilutonâ€"“I mdentaud your an is pursuing his studies at conga.” Hud- manâ€"“Ya; but from what I can aar- uh. I don't believe he will ever catch to with than.” Mr (to ofiice boy)â€"-“You’ve butwayovctlulfanhour,andonly 0010 "and the comet." 05cc Boyâ€" “Plans-inumndrowcdhall'asov- uni. h the gutter." Managerâ€"“And dililhkeluflanhourtofindit?” 06¢: Boyâ€"“Please, sir. till the man not any." Skaterâ€"“My - hearing is unusually keen." “zineâ€"“ls that 50'” “Yes. Fotinshnmnthgdistancelnmfrom you how I an but your watch tick- ing.” “That is man/tum“. My watch itâ€"ctâ€"in town. but I have thc ticket for it in my mistcoot pocket.” “Gauge,” asked the teacher of the Sunglay school class, “whom, above all othem shall you with to see when you get no haven?” With a face brighten- iu up with antieipqtbmjhe‘litfle id- “By the my. sit.” and the waiter. 16" would you like to have your A friend met Senator Mason in Wash: inm and asked him [what he was do- :‘Why, 13min Congress now,” Ye: plied Mr. Mason, “flying to make a liw in; in an honestvway.” . "Well, you shouldn’t hive 11inch trouâ€", bk,” observed th'e ‘schOOMate. ' “I don’t think you encounvg the sfightest compe- tition.” ' A Massachuseth jury reverted that it would be impossible for them to reach an agreement The court was displeased am! lectured them for their failure to a.gree “Why, your honor,” exclaimed the new “:me 33 W dc. mu expect the members of the jury to agree when the lawyers in the case can‘t agree themselves?" Near sighted old gentlemdn-“Cafl you tell me what inscription: is on that board over mete. 9” ' board over there ?” ' Irish rustic-“Sure, I'm in the same boat. 59”! It was moigbty little schoolin’ Oi had when Oi was a bhoy mysilt’, sort!” ' “A Virginia judge gave a man a year for stealing a straw hat,” remarked the bookkeeper. ' “That's nothing," chimed in thé clerk. “A man in Wiscousiti got five years for taking an umbécfla one day in a sudden. rainâ€"storm.” “Ordinarily. vex; .but wan the court's." “j thought that _ ya: j‘u‘stifiabk this umbrefla lar “tunings.” rentkedthembdy. ‘nyhcahflumhtlumtokt mmproventomcf’ “How did am mu broken. Mary?“ alter! the skate“ “Why, ma'un. it tumbled down Ind Make itself.“ ex- plained the maid, dibly. “Aha, the au- tomatic bake again !" exclaimed the lady, who was 1 been motorist. “Fine morning, Dontld. Wha’s the (by going to he?" “Wed. I’m thhkin' it’ll maybe rain." “Yes: but the baton- eter h ris'mg. 0mm” “Yes; but it’s very little heed the gentile! lurubouu pays to the W.” Sheâ€"“Did you ever stop'to figure out howmnnyhatsiuayatyoueouldbuy with the minty you throw any on cigm?” HF“ I have. dour. I could buy about fifty for myoelf, but only about three for you." Every Lady of the NorthShore should know that there garments or drap- eries than the Parisian Dye House HIGHLAND PARK Wat Ccntnl Avenuc Tchphanc 26$ BWBWE “Momma MIMAwacdomlw Lake County Fair TwoMGunuEvery Day, MéminslsAnu-noon A Good Speed Program Dnily . FAIR. 6350010198. MTWILLE Tuesday, Wednesday. Thursday and Friday Sept. 3, 4, Sandé, I90? The Great Live Stock Show I FIFTY-FOURTH ANNUAL Hon“. Cattle. Sheep, Swim and Po . Pam and Duh-y Products. Domenic Mn «aux-u. Mum! "Work and Works of Art. More Exhibits. Bigger Premium: and on a Larger Soak than any Previouu Ytar I“ Will Suva You Money. See them on page 5

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