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patrolling my post, when I thought I heard a man up the street? yelling ‘Fire! Flre!’ I‘ ran in the direction of the sound, and, 'would you} believe me. Mr. Commissioner, there stood a fellow out on the sidewalk trying to wake up a friend of his on the second floor. and he was yelling with all his might‘ "Meyer! Meyer!” ' “Well. that’s -a brand new one." said the trial commissioner, the ,suspicion 01 a ,amile crossing this face.- “Complaint dismissed." v ‘ An Editor's Trlals. People won't love us; 'we have final ly made up our mind to that. Yester- day We mentioned the case of a man who has one child and who every evening buys the chlld an Ice cream cone from a atreet wagon. ' ,And w;- mentioned how the five poor children ecross the street looked longingly at the .tortunate child and wanted some» Up to noon today nine men .11“ band?" , instead or_the woman an- swering for herself, a [run man's voice answered:' “Oi will." > Again the minister looked' up sur- prised not knowing what to make of t when one at the groomsmen at the nd of the row said: - , “’Er be deaf. Oi ,be-anqwerin' (or er.”-â€"â€"-London Telegraph. ' 4 Brlde Was Deaf. _ , At a. marriage service performed some time ago in a little country church in Berkshire, when the mink} ter said in solemn tone. “Wilt thou have this man to be thy wedded hus- A New One. Nimble wits and a glib tongue fre- quently save erring New York “cop pers" on trial before the deputy com- missioner at police headquarters. Not long ago a giant patrolman, accused of being about a quarter of a mile 01! his beat evolved this excuse: "You see. it was like this, your honor. I was "He is good-tempered and *never at- tempts: to bite. But he is a savage looking animal. and yhen he comes leaping up on the boat landing, driving oi! women and children by mere ferocity of appearance and setting their fish. as he did recently. he makes a very clever imitation of n ierociOus “At that time Ben could be induced to come ashore when the lure was a fat, long-finned glna but one my he climbed upon tile wharf, coming en- 'tlrely up the steps. following the man with a fish Then some unreasonable nerson made a threatening demonstra- tion; Ben started for the step. lost hi: hold, slipped and fell, smashing then: 1nd wounding himself. For a long‘ time he remembered this. but gradual- ly his faith in human beingel has re- turned In describing the islands lying of! the southern coast of California Fred- erick Holder writes: “The feature which will really amaze the wanderer among the Channel‘ islands is the tameness or, some animals. To meet a bull sea lion weighing approximate- ly- halt a ton on the main avenue of a town. 50 feet from the water, is_ a pos- sibility of a startling nature, yet l have seen Old Ben the head of the Santa Catalina sea lion rookery, on Crescent avenue, Avalon, surrounded by tourists who snapped their cam- eras at him with impunity. TAMETéESS OF A SEA LION Old Ben, Wtelghing.Ha'If/n Ton. In Often Met on the Struts of Avalon. "These fishes 'spend the winter in warm latitudes, and migrate north as far as the mouth of the St. Lawrence. They are found in the Mediterranean, and north. to the Loiroden island; yet do far the efforts of anglers, ex- cept at Santa Catalina, have failed to take them with the rod. Even here there is a stretch of but eight miles or so where they can be satisfactor- ily played and taken with rod and reel. ' . “This region lies on the north side of Santa Catalina,‘ from Ayelou‘ to Long Point, and to the east as many more. facing the north, and generally smoothâ€"more like a Scottish loch than a fishing ground 20 miles out 310 I once entered '3 school in a his aunch. The school divided to port and starboard as we panned through It. aha I had a View of one or two fishes that pppeared to be more than half as’long as the boat. TUNA " A nemamu: FISH Charles Frederick ' 'Holder, ‘the California naturalist, thus describe. that remarkable fish the tuna: _“'l‘he tuna is a pelagic fish, a tree lance, an Swagger-Inn ‘Musketeer of the an In the Lama! of the Game or : Bony Finn“. ocean rover, a sort of nwaggerlng musketeer of the see; an: largest of What may be termed the Me or bony ashes. nttainlng 'a maximum ’welght yf nearly 2,000 pounds and an approx!- mate length of fourteen feet or more. Such a fish In very exceptional, though ipecimena weighing 1.500 pounds have 0881) taken on the New England eoest. ction was announced of the library d household eifects of a man who ha once entertained in a lavish way, a among the persons who went to the le were many who had en- Joyed- e fallen family’s hospitality. When set’of after-dinner cups was .put up ne woman said . ‘There are only ii e of those, not six.“ The auction er consulted his catalogue and replied: “Thank you; you are right. ” and pr ed with the sale. Then the we an whispered to the one next to her: “I knew I was right because my hue and dropped one of that set the last time we dined there." llNo, on ag'1 ag'In ! " The aborers did, so with some d1!- flculty. ‘ “We idldhsor." one of the men an- swered I respectfully. “Who put that hap' car-H on 'the thrack?" he asked.‘ vsnia railroad, in his study of all classes} oi: men who are finder him, en- tertains a great admiration for the. Irish iOreman of a gang of laborers who want to‘ any lengths to show his men that he was the real boss._ One morning this foreman found that his gang had put a hand car on the track without his orders. , ‘ ’back. . it out know begged object proved angry?" “Oh, no; it co‘uldn'L I never said anythilng about it. The last time the children came over I spent the after noon teaching them verses from the Bible, and they didn’t find it sumcient ly entertaining. They never came back. Just how they managed to work it outi with their mother i do not know.§bu't I Suppose they struck” ox begged on. Of course, she could n01 object to what I had done. and it proved“; a very simple solution." "What has become of those two children who visited you so often?" asked one West side woman of an- other? The other smiled discreetly. “T cy are the children or my niece. and a e was making a convenience of me. Of course I love the children, but I never allow. myself to become much of a victim of imposition. My niece is an e remely gay young widow. and she d es not like to take care of her children. ‘She is fond of shopping.‘ matin s. afternoon teas and every- thing'. in short. which takes her away from ome, and she got into a habit of sendi 5 her children over to my house for m to take care of whenever she wished to sad about. I decided it was time to break up the habit, for her oWn good and that of the children. as Well as mine. so i did " Vchlldrg asked other; “TH H0“ Discc Char mak politi out thong when‘ for a; “Well.” he said shortly, “take It a! editol In Five In! connection with Lord Glenesk’s rece tly published history of that old- esta lished London journal, the Morn- ing Post, it is- interesting to recall the ‘fact that at one time Charles Laij was on'lts stat! of contributors. Thl gentle essayist wrote largely for a column headed “Fashionable lntel~ ligence;” in those day, as Lamb says. “evelry. morning paper, as an essential retainer to its establishment, kept an author who was bound to furnish daily a quantum of witted paragraphs." 1t was‘in this capacity that Lamb was engaged on the Post; furthermore his contract stipulated that in "the chat of t e day, scandal, but above "all, dres " he should supply six paragraphs a d y. not one of which was to ex-I ceed seven lines in length. and the‘ pay em. for which was to be 12 cents ring you: LAI \“ul uq A-Weicomo Exchange. m was the happiest moment of “life?" asked the sweet girl. The happiest moment of my life,”. verfld the old bachelor, “was when jeweler took back an engagement end gave me sleeve links in u [garâ€"Tit-Bits. IB ONCE' A JOURNALIS‘I' his essay “Newspapers .Thirty- YesrsAgo." Lamb seems to have rather pleased with the “sticks’-' at he contributed to the press; low find that "Dan Stuart." his r, entertained a diflerent opinion ) their value. "As for good ies Lamb,” he said, “I never could anything of his writings. of cs he knew nothing: they were If his line of .reading‘ and :ht. and'his droilery was .vspid given in short paragraphs fit newspaper." suppose that made your niece Tho Bou. idem McCrea of the Pennsyl- ruilroad, In his gtudy of all 01: men who are under him, en- said _the man across the street] plenty of money but wan too} [y to buy his,chfldren Ice cream 28,â€"Atchllon Globe. 3m Time Ho Wu Ac\]vely En- gagbd on the Staff of tho . London Pout. ucu um... u “new“ waged Vlaitn From Her Nlece'u Ildron by Teachfng Them Verses me the Bible. Knew She Was Right. , said the foreman, "put It !"â€"Popular Magazine. SHE GOT RID OF THEM FT! tpe‘m, .mTTHE ux was muauu ‘ Tub Playerâ€"You're I love:- at In- de. can't you, In. Smith? Tho Bombâ€"Y7... but don't m no. Go as» on m “He published the announcement of her approaching wedding under the column headed 'Lnu Engagements.” 00mm“. "Min Pussy is furious with that society reporter." Fortunately Mr. Tennyson learned of the tncldent before the eminent m- ore“ of the prize ring got to it “Do as you like." she was saying. "But remember this. "'3 Just as I told Enoch when he got to thinking he was boss of the house: You ms, 30 may, hut_you can't come back." The former Mrs. Arden ut talking sternly to Enoch'n successor. Couldn't Come Back. Enoch Arden crept softly up to the window and peered In. » Murdered for a Cent. A quarrel over a single penny led to a murder in Hohoken the other day. A man from Nebraska. who stopped at a hotel in Hohoken while awaiting the sailing ot the ateamer [or Europe. put a penny in the alotot an automatic music box in the dining-room of the hotel. but ‘the box retuaed to pour forth the expected ragtime tune. The Nehraskan- became indignant and up- hraided the German porter. The lat- ter explained to him that it required a nickel and not a penny to set the‘ mechanism of the music-box in moi tion, but that explanation did not eat- iaiy the man from Nebraska. He he- came abusive and when the porter threatened to put him out, he pulled a revolver from his pocket and ahot the porter dead. Sent among the passenger- wlth I message from one of the ship's om. cers, Makinzbno recognised the girl as an'old sweetheart. It was then he carried out his plan of escape. The girl ls held at the detention station.â€" New-York Herald. Waiting until the dark hour: of the night Makinzcno picked up n bomboo basket, and. holding it over hie held. leaped fromtthe atonmer. Both guard: and ahlp'a ‘oflicers heard the npluh and rushed to the spot. Electric iluh lamps and the ship's searchll'ght shot their rays over the waters. but all that was discernible vu a bamboo basket bobbing around in the hey. Ap- parently without any guidance the basket floated around the end of the grain elevator and disappeered. In the morning Mnhtnxono wu milled. end investigation developed the manner at his escape. WMMMWI’ Léve for an 02d sweethem and do- sli‘e to save her from a mnrflnse Ir- ranged by her parents lmpelled Mtkln- zono Inousko of Seattle. Wash; 3 all or on the steamer lnabt Man, to rink his life In 'a daring attempt to emu from the vessel. The old man agreed with me. He had the rosy. childish unwrinkled face of the countryman, his‘ eyes were gray-green,the color of the Channel see below the edge of the Down; hi- grizzled hei'ld shook in he cut into his breed with the poiutod blade of 1 MI pocketkniie. "No. things ain't as they were." he . said devilâ€"Manchester Guardian. SWAM TO SHORE IN BASKET Desiring to'Joln HI. sweetheart, I Sailor Risks Life In Jumping From Ship. I looked at the wlde-nprudlng point- ed horns. and thought hr the and run of village smlthles. "l shOuldn't lulu. lne any smith would be snxlmu to learn the art.” I remarked. He'ahook his head. “Only I tow. just here an' there, myth.” be Ill- uwered; “horses an' Ite'm plows 'I' done away wlth 'em. -'SIdeo. there ain‘t many smiths left now u on shoe an ox. Rare mu It 1|. 1 tell yo. stickin' the keys on 'em. throw ‘am we have to tie up their len un' hold their necks down wl' a pltchfork. HI! ha! rare fun It ll, lad.“ "There aren't many oxen out! now for" farm work?" I liked. "Look at the t'othor'l all u' 70']! see," he chuckled. A'nd cerium the lender'l an was not so bushy n It Ihould'bo. tubionzI ItOcky little Weinhnnn the! were from the woman hiliI. name" there. for the true Bnuex ox iI rod. They eyed me with In expreuion oi plaintive inquiry. and I noticed that the rear one'I moist blnck noee Ill guarded by I string muuie. through which he snorted at me in I mnner hardly inviting confidence. The old piowmnn smiled indulgent” while I admired them. “Why d0 you muzzle the tour on?" I inquired. Pmuflon a Save the Ton of the Loader. Limited Vhlon. ‘ There we. 3 ma muleâ€"e poet He went vendetta; throh [h the street: of the city, end he net 3 disciple. “Come out with mew-eta the poet. “for sheik In the u {1 dunes." And they went. But en‘they hed prou- reued my stun. ad the disciple. "There Is nothing here but and." “To whet didJJnvlte ym?” hated the poet. "To welt In tm sand dunes." “Then , not compleln‘.’ and the poet. “Yet eV In y'our mud- ere untrue. There II heaven ebow. Do you not eeelt? mum u no haven‘t; new the nu”; ~Ilurten Marten. 1 The sudl'snoe. t nnnsturslly. locked with helples' lsnghter. but those deer little lsdI Ind losses still are wondering why. ‘~ Touching Cor-rout w. A women or culture; sod trsvel hse msde s glorious success tssehing cor rect speech. It is pilmrlsing how much Incorrect" speech'ulen is smong our educsted people. : ; The, cling to provincislislns. lncofluct pronuncls» (ions. wrong use 0! words. sud un- musicsl intontions. l‘he southerner holds to the soft. r-lets' uttersnce of his "ms‘mmy" dsys: itiie middle west- erner flattens his vowvls; the Boston- isn throws his r’s completely out of" sent. This women undertook to con- rect such errors sud tehch s pure. perfect English speech to s few young women. She hecs ‘ thst she wss oompe ill to start 's. school of correct grown to greet p'ropo fons. This ps5 ticuisrly promising uld is open in every town in Anterior â€"1'he Dellnssr On- The plot of the *ay included the financial redemption )i a highly vor- thy coupleâ€"thin hob ; an extremely cultured and aociolt :lcally learned ’yet natural group a: younptera-hy the good luck of the husband. played by an eager urchin Ii aeven. in the gold iielda of Aladla. ‘l‘he hapv! bridegroom return ‘ to hia weeplnl bride of a year in ?e nick oi time. hearing with him a 1m and heavy hi or gold. The 14¢. in a neat apeech. revealed to in the poverty» atrichen. hungry atrdltl to which ahe had h‘en reduced. aid warmly com‘ mended hie aklll and} Industry in gold finding. Then. rlaim with a proud and modest air. ahe fgently informed him: “And i. meanwhile. have not‘ been idle!”â€".â€"and. dl‘a win; a conveni- ent curtain. dlecloa ‘ an assorted mun of huxhlna ran and sirl- :- “Our children. dear!” cm Whoa Auto Tom 03'. In Jose. (‘31.. Aug. 2.â€"A tonrll Perhaps the mo. startling child atory extant. howevei . come. from the family of a famous Boaton educator. whoae childru all3 u distinguished by an unusual defile of originality. Several,» hon and [it I of vanioue ages have been adopted into this family. an the sudden appearance of new and well-grown auociate: aeema' to the younger members qtite natural This rather unusual attitu le toward family growth worked out )ddly a year or two ago. upon the neeaaion of the Chriatrnaa play. "lit! the little one. annually write. roller“ and produce. quite without adult mktanee. tor their parenu. I , am much com a pm the Family at I Boston lducpzor and flu Unmal 0r gummy. HERE’S A’ GOOD CHILD STORY not at one 0! his tunnels. who Ind titled to 3qu him t to malt-n ulna. bouts, who know In mu. wondered that Rmmhuro sac-4m crave u. put- don (or so .mla; an olranse. and u“ to Mm: “PM! In I serious unt- ur. Walla". bu ”I will Mon you airtime." It It! warm turned out that the soldier's h m was In the ho!- not. and (all with to the ground. Daub ml. Rancherâ€"Sly. Mire: In custom menu nary. Second seniorâ€" Huv'l that? nectarâ€"Hero ulna the game It o‘shlh tuning mm! of ninth day'ho vooi to a» flu monk bu pardon tor hvlu drug! Act {he pol: Why No Cum PM". Roquuu, the reformed mar o! Loull :qu emu-ind to [at out o; nay-scrape by hand, wit. Ono to m um mutt: colloxapcthuocftloouuflcufll In dependant upon I W liquid to keep It u". and I! It bo- nnie dry It would pol-III. A person who mum this In at wtll .17”. take an to drink pleat» of water, Ind will Ibo out plenty of It I“. and "comm“. since thou contain Inge unmade. or winter. and that In 3 purer form than I: madly anllnble The panama; show. his good nose when In that: upon the Juicy vat :rmelon, ind In- md a! rldlcullnx' aim we might bob ur so and do uuw so. ‘ Every mother-tel, won-educated por- oon known mam. 0W [Idle want. but not in my gm gwu! mt all “Ml. we ARIMI- -vv.-.v-â€"-.-..â€"I-nwvâ€"-â€" [ht-"IO! luau. "and no) (om-fl: no. 6:: uvmwwmnu' man. No L"- No. “any and W. A.'.ILI..'.-um¢‘hrtud "an. on... m m “Ir-Inn. K. m7 loo-u P43K~hrt A "Amâ€"Jun lake. No. 524. A. '51 A. 8.. Dub cm n! mm 1"!!- Lake sud Wllmcfl' AV“ puntâ€"Jam Oran!- lonm; Icrvlcoaâ€"M‘“. Ina" [cheatâ€"~11.“ - m. v th :00 n In W Int Lottie-41 T‘ m. Maud” Prayersâ€"~O-“0 Dâ€" m- v .. u. Roddyâ€"Firm Thur-av 1'? 'h‘ null. ~ wan-cu loudâ€"First 7M7 of n" month. I. r. 01. RM Thin-1h! 0' W CHURCH M" 81‘. AU\ “gnu: ., lg heinH-lâ€"Itfl n. III. Mm!" Furor-40:80. «may Schoolâ€"I1 noon. Eve-win 5â€"710. rial-'11 Homs'r sputum)”. CHURCH. ‘uvidiy fiirsic‘ltli I. II. («why fiqhoolâ€"IZM noon. Nod-may Inning-4:00 9. a mt'liRIn'ru'AN si‘imucl: Ruhrâ€"H. A. non. IT. .IIWEPII'I' CHURCH, wonkyâ€"4:80 a, m.. 3:00 t. am. It” A. n farmâ€"8.80 9. III. "V'I’Ifl‘lklnâ€"tho M 6:00 p. In. h"! flueâ€"l2“ ; r hm. one... an: «a mu: man- I“: AWRâ€" Iterator lathe. So. l‘. l‘.‘ A. I nun-rt- Ilvr m dérmun-dtfl n. m. urn-lay Schoolâ€"I320. noon. 'Nlnl l‘éoplv‘n looting-0:” 3'30!" “lambâ€"1:808. .. . not“, mcmâ€" : . . mucu' Sucleu-Ah‘aeconflrrMu u'lRST cosa‘nsmflouu. equncu mo Ave. and till. I KINILWORTH UNION CHM! Paterâ€"cm. P. Ron-won. “swivelâ€"”w. .. I. ..,. u'ouun‘n llulonary WP" lIQIdIy. Oct. I. I Imamâ€"Om fourth Fri-Iggy: Hatch-Victor 1. III. , Whiz;- -;u 00 t I. “W Inclâ€"l: u p u. (on. P0091.“- lootingâ€"fl u o. I anionâ€"8:00 p. I. rue-any ”vim-4:00 I. Friday BIN- Cluoâ€"l: p. I- ucnno Hum-r pmmnâ€"uwmfl RIGIMND‘PAIKâ€"A. 0. n, min. 2. 95. A._ I. A A. It. um um nu Hhorldnn “nod and Hal-boll! “I (gator: Ilia!!!“ limit-mpg .‘uumu-bu 7: ‘5 I. n.. a" 8i ,- 7 ll mud-y below to u. n. (cloud-my um) loamy. {invite 5nd Ber-(glaring 9;! ‘ «mums LUTHERAN CHO“ Patterâ€"Rev. C. Elna. mud-y Serviceâ€"10:00 a. n "can“: Evening lootingâ€"1:” CONGRWGATIONAL CHURCH. tutor-11. s. Wlucbouuu u. (in-nod Bud. School-4:“ s a mmln. so. mowâ€"n :90 I. I. - 'm um. School and" AM lash ”- Chanâ€"{2:20 p. -. fivv fday y'l'lhiunuz $00-- . m «was “or” I“ I WWWQZM I. ’ no.0. u :00 a 40min. r: cr us! set-on. uncut In“! A-.. .__ ...|_ . A--- __ tStTVku in cnip'ei; Laid:- SEQ}: nun-ub- on II. Holy ”qrâ€"ml nylon-Ii... I. W. Darling. D. B. «may School-4:“ n «mooâ€"11:00 I. I. {om People's Chgâ€"4:80 "a. , .. . 'nm luauâ€"MM]. 0:00 o . Till \Hl‘lu'l 0F 81‘. :L-usm. (Humor-l.) : 15. an. Lula brace. Priest in churn. ‘ L; loly Con-union. 7.30.. a. ‘3'; (cold L‘ck’u-ugm and Samoa Int mhh _ ,A.L , Futon-let C. !. Mon. luau] Soniaâ€"Morning. "2”. ., ' ‘undl! Srhool~llz00 Doom ' . -‘ vmv Payer .lntIuâ€"Wfli .. 7~ . .â€"_-v_â€".- "- (Mp ‘umyâ€"nrlt In... 8 0. I CHRISTIAN m and” Soniaâ€"10:“ A. -. {Ind-y gong-12:00 noon. annual LUTM Mumâ€"A. sum. WM.) lawmanâ€"":00 L -., 1‘ Wang-:- Motyâ€"Hm 1'5. warm 1 nmliiJEo'ib. I. I!!!" .CANDINA VIAN CHOU“ IVANGILICAL 4 Rev. G. W. Engeltet. {’10}. E. E. Rite, Au't. :undgy sorvtcOIâ€"Ilornlu, “fig; evening. 7:“ p. m. . 'hrIofl-n Endnvovâ€"lmt p. g. laud.) Schoolâ€"10:" t. I. Hanna. -â€"l‘rt!0r “Him. I ‘ '‘ ”flayâ€"3%». Imdy m M?‘: nut-1‘ turn-n IVAN ' g v. w- “7â€"". «unity skunkâ€"10:“ .. I Val: Day (comm-«W01 p. m: End-h. Why. 1:! um- and Inn 8W]: 3. I. «mu m nunâ€"u c. I. Cum -4 9.1-. «may ~01! m n. L'YTP. UL Younl Poo ‘0-4 " m sew-awe ”no... ‘ V Prim lacunaâ€"1:“; IPIICOPAL CHURcu hourâ€"luv. P. C. Woleocg “.1 '?!Â¥_.'"‘ih‘."'.“t7:!° {- IL. at a I'Wflfl (manna... «may Iflqviefiâ€"glw.‘ CURIIT CHURCHâ€"01300?“ OONOBIOATIONAL CHO“ HASONIC Dll ECTOIY nus-1.4:: m: PRIBBYTIRIAN arm-oo- m fl ""1 [onion appoinle' "A I "l‘hl‘l‘ 5-..A u. lam women I .fi ‘he i“ w The 0rd m 0' file in “Md“id City1 W Conn" Court: MI", 0' a W “(we-uh (I5 I910- " u soon “a the con-41‘ w Mme ('0, “gunmen! " d five (5) E. .u imtnllmem 'd m o( amt "‘ melt. 'W .2. Rigid!» A. D. 19“)- hill: “thou! b. no letth Why do mm ”a keep t m? Herel 9-. reason ' an 9“, IN I“, u um, I I duty. ,she I In mom: has. or pl nut mm? it work. 1“ ‘- Milk}: D be rfiuuh l-flll of lo' I. strong c World and in be. (Ir-I ”lowed v1 uh. probl without “I the next! Ills. ln‘l “lie the l [mu “St u had WM! much 1 Intel may fit tor