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poute" Koot tas s Lk. PA "What evidence have you for your belief in heredity ?" "I go with a violinist‘s son." â€" "Well ?" * : "He‘s always trying to string me." â€"Lafayette Lyre. , The manager â€"reeled slightly. "Twentyâ€"five cents! Oh, hell! We‘ll play Macbeth."â€"lIowa Frivol. ‘"Hamlet, eh*?" replied handsome Harry. "All right, but I can‘t play Hamlet with this threeâ€"day beard. Gimme twentyâ€"five cents for a shave." "Don‘t forget. We‘re playing ‘Hamâ€" let‘ tonight," he announced. A troup of Shakesperian actors of extremely uncertain financial standâ€" ing was" lounging in the lobby of a small town hotel. The manager enâ€" tered and addressed the leading man of the company. He has never caused a girl to walk back home, because he doesn‘t give a darn for petting. He hasn‘t even kissed a girl. # He hasn‘t even been born.â€"Life. Profanity. in any form, has never passed his lips. He doesn‘t know the difference beâ€" tween a full house and two pair, aces up. ; He has never tasted synthetic gin, nor does he know that Ducky Spikes He doesn‘t. care whether girls wear two skirts or none at all; f'y% j He doesn‘t use sliâ€"kum or any other sort of goo on his hair. > ; Modern .dancinge, with its accomâ€" panying jazz, holds no appeal for him. "That ain‘t soot, Carbona, â€" that‘s dandruff."â€"Amherst Lord Jeff. "Jones must be pretty well fixed fiâ€" nancially." "What makes you think so?" "Well, every time that I see him he had the hiccups." ; "Black Boy, how did you all get that soot on youah coat ?" # One way for the government to inâ€" crease its revenue is to tax prizeâ€" fighters* for their movie salaries. "Hello! Hello! Is this you, Mac?" “Ay." s "Is this MacPherson I‘m talkin‘ to ?" "Ay, speakin‘." “Wdltlhc. it‘s like this: I want to borrow $10â€"" Hrech oo "All right. I‘ll tell him as soon he comes in." 7 His Own Rule Old Rastus: "You ain‘t livin‘ the Christian life. Sammy! Member dat amaximum we done learned at school "bout stealin‘?" Complimentary ' Shopper: "I want to see something cheap in mirrors." Clerk: "Take a look ‘at this one, madam}" I Now You Tell One! + A preacher said to his congregation: "There is a certain man among us who is going with another man‘s wife. Unless he puts five dollars in the colâ€" lection box his name will be read from the pulpit." When the box came in, there were nineteen five dollar bills in it and a two dollar bill with a note attached, saying, "This is all the cash I have, but will send the other three dollars Wednesday." . "Yes suhâ€"ah ‘members! A bird in de hand am wuff two in de coop!" The Unwritten Law * There are two things traffic cops never do. One is to reprimand a driver who has not violated a trafâ€" fic rule.. The other is to admit that the driver has not violated a traffic rule. PAGE EIGHT REG. U.S. PATL OFFICE Smilin‘ Charlie days |(9.0.â€"Oâ€"h!â€"‘"Lookit‘" The *My idea o‘ something pyacticaldia a, couple, agin‘ a prize ns tor is beneht hospital â€" â€" â€"" WELL THiIS SuRE 1s A HAPPY ~Pay ror me â€" \‘m our or DeBtr AT LAST â€"AnD 1M Gomcfi'.:o STAY OUTâ€" NO MORE ‘MILL STONES AROJND *\ â€" aith. â€" MY NECK*â€" Wefi nc t cocinnind iss But all joshing aside, aren‘t y looking forward to the coming ¢f Halloween?: Sure you are. May! PRESS WANT ADS BRING RESULTS If all the ghosts that are . C to make our hair stand on end and send chills gallopin‘ up and down 1 spines in the darkness of Hallo | night, were as pretty as the little lad ’ pictured aboveâ€"we wouldn‘t mind it a bit. Fact, we‘d like to have tha "night of uncertainties" come more often. _ a H Sash, Doors and Millwork Telephone 1589 Ridge Road, Highland Park, II1. WILL KRUMBACH Cor. St. Johns & Park AV|Q‘& Purnell & Wilson is to say that he knows how to make a dollar buy 100 cents‘ worth of real value. The man (or woman) who buys a Ford car is certainly entitled to this compliâ€" ment. j Highland Park, Illinois he Best Compliment You Can Pay" a Business Manâ€" i. coaadurdroetmurovivn ies n sieane n ie enery Remember, you can buy a Ford tlo.d. car for less.than an open car of any other make, Pretty. Hallowe‘en Ghost Authorized Dealers you‘re planning a party, tooâ€"same as lour little beauty above. She‘s out getâ€" ‘ting the pumpkins for her Jack o‘ "Lantems without which no Halloween ‘party is complete. After that, she‘ll probably go shopping for all the tasty items that‘ll go on the Halloween taâ€" bleâ€"the witch and goblin decorations â€"the game prizesâ€"and, andâ€" Sayâ€"how many days yet ‘til Halâ€" loween ? C Â¥I THE HIGHLAND PARK PRESS, HIGHLAND PARK, ILLINOIS Tel. 164â€"1603 ue C.P.W. Aurs un mdns nadsuiidsitun HVER e aRiF n ‘There was a landlubber with the shipâ€"wrecked . crew that had been adrift for two days, with hope at low ebb. f "I see nothing but the horizon," reâ€" plied the first mate.= | â€" .. § ~*Well, hang it, that‘s better than nothing. Let‘s pull for it."â€"Capper‘s Weekly, x COULDN‘T STAND ONE "So you didn‘t take any vacation this year?" hy "No. I thought I needed a rest." "What‘s that ?" exclaimed the landsâ€" man, ~pointing into the distance. "That‘s land, isn‘t it ?" ¢. LR 4C i 29 South Second Street HUDSONâ€" ESSEX F. D. CLAVEY RAVINIA NURSERIES, Inc. Officeâ€"Highland Park, Ilinois ©‘100 on All Models Why We Advise Fall Planting rivabsAiatinnt wis. Mviatiainial in mtc early call will assure completion of your work while the time is right. Our own Nurseries, located at Highland Park and Deerfield, Illinois, consisting of thousands of Evergreens, Trees and Shrubs to select from. A visit to our Nurseries will convince you.that nowhere else can be found stock its equal. ° I BYFALLPummcmfmmuuphnéuoftuo«mmiuwmchuunmedm have as reasonable chance for living and growing as if they were handled in the Spring. . Where Fall planting of +*s kind is done, it will prove to be as successful as Spring planting. Plants which ate planted in the Fall have a chance to become gomewhat established and lose no time in the Spring in starting their growth, In many eases Fall planted materials will completely surpass in growth similar materials handled in the Spring season. { e § ALTOGETHER,tthpflnkandFsflplmthgmimdlm:hortfqtheim- mense amount of work to be done along planting lines. If we should not take advantage of the desirable Fall days, ou:zhnting season would fall far short of the time needed for it. The time element alone then is enough to make Fall planting adâ€" visable. ( f } d EVERYONB knows that the major portion of all planting is done either in the Spring or Fall. Gemrdlyupufin:m‘mdflpnmmmduthmwflu‘b ing seasons, There being two seasons, it often becomes a question in one‘s mind as to which is the better season for planting. ‘it may be said that either season has its particular advantages over the other. W;E}l.hom,thnttbmmmlhmfic- ular factors that seem to make Fall plan very desirable. A few reasons are given here to show why we advise Fall planting:‘ * ; ESSEX COACH . HUDSON COACH O MATTER how fine or mild the weather is, the Fall planting days are limited. NOW IS THE TIME TO PLANT EVERGREENS, TREES AND SHRUBS. An Hudson Coach Special Hudson Brougham â€" HudsonZeP?sfiedan = AND L CGor A SURPRISE roRr You Too / _3 â€"â€" A. W. PERSON Reduces Prices The attention of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Aniâ€" mals is called to the fact that a radio set has been installed in the Toronto no!or'the}flu!tlinmtoftblw cupants of the Monkey cake. ~ The secret service man that women aren‘t good . couldn‘t have been married "«Your infernal loud â€"speaker Kep® me nmke‘tiltwoo'clocklutnih” "That‘s too badâ€"if you had stayed with it a while longer you‘d have heard some swell stuff from Paris." New Prices TOO BAD man who said rood© detectives Phone Highland Park 36 Gladys : & z'p awfully gor “":::_ says "wt not ' fl’«::f goacanne of s | ‘r‘ ht, . if he to help. D _.Sbilh, you, dearest, is good noughy it me." P ES -fm" NO FROOLIN®‘ HER .| _ New Maid} "IL found w ree upâ€" on your desk, sir."" _ [) [ {1/ Junior: "I must for your honesty. I Jeft £ | M | purâ€" posely as a test." ’li} ’J drN" ‘0' THURSDAY, 1095 1150 1395 1495 Phone ot 3 clule c IDa J @rYB will ® Oak |‘ orches Prize RU M A n M AS t DE CAR oR defea doutb will . AAYF the ball Trik A t Big ind nad his DJ Al ong. va+ T e ity ve ure Igh Â¥T9 ne m U I‘h It Ol TY i vU re n at