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.WHICH fcCtAIX am fA rich man who bud no children proposed io his poor neighbor, who hail seven, to lakt> one of them, MA promised. if the parents would consent, that he yODld give thctu property enough to make them •tfra and their other six ohildijpE. comfortable for VUokA»nitb*f Vhlthibtlllltiet I looked n« jonn. -<onn iwsoii at me. And when X found that I mnet speak. My Voice seemed strangely low and, " VeUgWe again what Robert said i»iiSffil>iiw««Hig. bent my teMgpfr" ryf This to his letter.; , " I will give v > A honxc and land while you shall UN*; If, in return, from out your seven, One child to me for aye is given. I looked at John s old garments wofltt * I thought of all that he had borne Of poverty, and work, and care, Hbich I. though willing, could not share!; I thought nf seven young mouths to feed. Of seven little children's need And then of this, r£...~-k- "Come John." said ** Well chose among them as they 1»^« Asleep." 80 walking hand iu handi- ?., Dear John and I surveyed our baudj}^ First to the cradle lightly stopped Where Lillian, the baby slept. Softly the father stooped to lay His rough hand down in a loving *W, When dream or whisper made her Mar, And huskily he said: "Not fieri" v We stooped beside the trundle bed, And one long ray of i.inii.Iight shed. Athwart the boyish faces th-'re, In sleep so beautiful sr.d fair. I saw on James'.rongh, red cheek A tear undried. Ere Tote could speak "He's but a baby, too." said I, knA kissed him as we hurried by. ; Pale, patient Robbie's angel face • * StiU in his sleep bore Buffering's traoo. "No, for »thousand crowns not himln He whispered, while our eyes were dim. ftoor Dick! bad Dick! our wayward •00-- Turbulent, restless, idle one-- . Could he be spared ? Nay, He who gave Bade us befriend him to the grave ; Only a mother's heart could be Patient enough for such as he; " And so," said John, " I would not dare To take him from her bedside prayer." Then stole we softly up above. And knelt by Mary, child of love. " perhaps for her 'twould better be," I said to John. Quite silently He lifted up a curl that lay Acmes her cheek in a willful way, And shook his head: " Nay, love, not thee," Ihe while my heart beat audibly. Only one more, our eldest lad, Truaty and truthful, good and glad. 80 like his fattier. " No, John, no! I cannot, will not, let him go." And »o we wrote in a courteous way, We could not give one child away; And afterward toil lighter seemed, Thinking of that of which we dreamed, Happy in truth that not one face Was missed from its accustomed place; Thankful to work for all the seven, Trusting the rest to One in heaven. darkness. I suppose I must have re­ mained in this position--that is, with my arms on the taffrail---about ten minute*, when, without -warning, I felt myself lifted off my legs, and some on© behind me endeavoring to throw me overboard. I am by no means a light weight, gentle- tbvu, you can see--weighing, I mioulu any, then sixteen stone ; but the jjereon evidently depended upon the sudden- 1 REMARKABLE DREAM. Some few years ago I was a resident in Hong Kong, and there became ac­ quainted with the following circum­ stances, The story itself was related one winter's evening--for even in China there ia a winter--around a glowing fire tint put one in mind of home. The conversation during dinner had turned upon dreams, and some very curious theories were advanced in support of the interpretation of them. Our number consisted of eight persons ; and after a protracted discussion, in which the num­ ber for and against there being any troth in dreams stood about equal, Capt. Topham proposed to settle the question by telling us a story of what actually happened to himself a few years pre­ viously. The cloth was removed, and at . the invitation of our host we each drew | The gang outside were evidently in deep oar chairs round the fire, lit our cigar -- -*• * pose. I struggled violently, holding on by my hands to the rail, and letting fly right and left with my feet; and in the end I was successful. The Chinaman tripped, and lay upon the deck in my p#wer. Without a thought, without a moment's hesitation, I laid holt of him by the trowsers with one hand, and took a*couple of turns of his pigtail by the other, and threw him overboard. After I had accomplished this, I made for the cuddy. Arrived there, I at once went to Mr. Spencer's cabin ; but upon trying the door, found it locked ! I gave one or two kicks, at the same time calling out to him to open the door. He sprang from his berth, and called out in reply that it was locked from the outside. I told him to stand clear, wad with a good one, two, three, #rom the shoulder, I burst the door in. There is no doubt I must have looked very pale and very excited, as his first question to me was-- " ' Why, Mr, Topham, what in the name of goodness is the matter? You look as pale as death.' "I told him all that had happened, and likewise my suspicions that we had not seen the end of the affair, and that our best plan would be at once to arm ourselves. I told him to dress himself, whilst I went on deck to rouse our two English sailors, whom we could depend upon, amd bring them aft to the oarnn. I had planted one foot in the saloon, the other being still in Mr. Spencer's cabin, and had say eyes directed to the stairs of the companion, when, in the shade, I thought I descried a Chinaman. Think­ ing that it might be the steward, I called out to him by name, 'A long;' but no reply came, when I felt pretty certain that it was not the steward--in which be­ lief I was not long left in doubt. I had turned my head into Mr. Spencer's cabin, to tell him of my suspicions, when I thought I heard steps stealthily approaching me. I gave a rapid glance, and there, not four feet from where I stood, were some five or six as villainous looking Chinamen as I had ever beheld, armed, some with bamboos about ten feet long, and others with swords. In an instant I had sprung into the cabin, and closed and bolted the door. With a yell, the whole of the gang made one simultaneous rush toward the door, but they had missed their mark by a second. I had planted my back against the door, and, thanks to my weight and the bolts, it resisted their combined efforts to force it. Other measures, however, I knew must be at once resorted to, and that instantly. Calling upon Mr, Spencer to move his chest of drawers against the door, and placing two trunks on the top of them, we patiently waited the coming events. Spencer very fortunately had a couple of Colt's revolvers in his chest of drawers, with which we armed ourselves. pipe ; and after mixing ourselves a of punch, the Captain related the owing tale as nearly a* I can remem­ ber 14 It is now, gentlemen, some ten years S> since I was first mate of the opium ooner Wild DayrelL We were lying ' in Hong Kong harbor at the time, pre­ paratory to sailing the next morning for Formosa. Then--and, for the matter of that, now--there was a great deal of smuggling done in that beautiful island of the Chinese. Our cargo consisted of thirty thotipnnd dollars in syce, one hundred ana tifty chests of Patna and two hundred chests of Malwah opium, besides a few sundries, which could be bought cheap enough in Hong Kong or Shanghai, but upon \*hich we turned a good round sum." Capt. Wilkes--whom I think you all know, gentlemen--com- jnanded iter, and had made many a voy- *ge, and run many a risk for his owhers • the same place. At about 4 in the ^afternoon the Captain left me to go consultation as to their next mode of attack. One voice I heard raised above all the others, and that one voice was, without a doubt, A Tong, our mueh-re- spected steward! From the little Chi­ nese I was acquainted with, I gathered that they were bent upon the treasure, which had come on board from the Ori­ ental Bank only that afternoon. It had been stowed away in the Captain's cabin, and was safely lodged in one of Milner's fere and thief-proof safes. "They proceeded to the Captain's cabin ; but in a very short time returned and, knocking at the door with their bamboos, demanded it to be opened. At first they used threats, then entreaties, promising us that not a hair of our heads should be hurt. But, though we feared their threats, we had no faith in their promises, and fully determined that, if the worst came to the worst we would sell oar lives dearly. Oh, how we longed for 11 o'clock, for Capt. Wilkes' return. How patiently and eagerly we listened for the splash of the oars of the six stal- sahore ; but just as he was stepping in wart boatmen! We heard four bells • Hie boat, he cried out " 4Topham! Upon second Lilian't stay on shore to-night, as 1 in­ tended. I am going to old Douglas' to dine; and as, in all probability, it will be a noisy party, I shall slip away early; SO you can look for me about eleven.' " 'Very well, sir,' I answered; and then turned to see that everything was all right for the morning. "At 6 o'clock I and the second officer bad tea; and after tea, he and I bad quite a confidential chat about our voy­ age, the value of our cargo and the im­ mense risk that was run in not shipping -Englishmen, in place of the mongrel «ew we then had. Our crew consisted, the way, of fourteen persons, includ­ ing the Captain. The Captain, myself, second- officer and two sailors were En­ glishmen; a Lascar; two Manilla men; two Malays and two Chinamen, as sea­ men; a Chinese 300k and Chinese stew­ ard--in all, fourteen souls. At about 8 ••clock the second officer had retired for uigut, au'.i had ieit me aloue on the poop- I well remember how my thoughts wien ran. I revolved in my mind the conversation that I had with Mr. Spen- S» *"e Bpef>nd officer, respecting the mense value of our cargo and the risk • ^ that we ran, both from our own crew, ; .Should they turn traitors, and also from hordes of pirates that continually in. •) the China seas, notwithstanding our jgwnboate, and the havoc that they i mt them whenever they come within ' _ -$ange. •ssEr*" *' Well, gentlemen, upon that evening and I would do the same--he to take the right, and I the left, so that we should! not waste ammunition through both of us firing at the same person. I remem­ ber as if it happened only five minutes ago, two heads suddenly appearing, and myself and Spenoer in the act of present- lug our revolvers at them, when, as a flash of lightning, two spears were sud­ denly thrust through the aperture, and tn6 next •ustffiut J. felt a twinge in the right side." Here the narrator paused for a few moments, and after a good stiff pull at his punch, continued-- "I remember no more until six weeks afterward, when I was lying in bed in a strange room, very weak and very faint. There was my servant keeping me nice and cool with a large fan, whilst on my forehead was a cloth steeped in vinegar. By degrees, some slight recollection came back to my mind of the events that had happened on that fearful night; but when I interrogated my Chinese nurse, I could only obtain from him such re­ plies as--"Me no sabby ; doctor berry angry me talkee that pigeon." By which he meant that he knew nothing about the matter; and that, if he did, he was en­ joined by the doctor to silenoe, other­ wise he would be very angry with him. However, with a good constitution and careful attention, I was soon able to leave my room ; and then, and not be­ fore, I gathered from my old friend, Charles Lawrence, one quiet afternoon, the following rather rambling account of the affair : Hi if;.. .«*' j*' : from the different ships in the harbor, some not a couple of hundred yards away; but it was impossible io Aeach or signal them. Instead of a large port­ hole, there was only the small dead-light, through which we could not even man­ age to thrust our heads, much less our bodies. Well, sirs, when they found that neither threats nor promises would avail them, they at once commenced their work. I was standing on a camp-stool, endeavoring to see what they were do­ ing, by looking through the iron grating on the top of the door, when I saw one of them with a spear, at what, in mili­ tary phraseology, would be termed " shorten arms "--that is, with the spear drawn back to its fullest extent, ready to thrust through the door. I gave one spring from the stool, and lucky indeed I did so; for the next moment the point of a spear grazed my cheek. Another inch to the left and I would have b»»en a dead man. We both then retired to the further end of the cabin, so as to keep out of harm's way. We knew that they dared not use firearms, for fear of attract­ ing the attention of the ships iu the neighborhood; and no doubt this was our salvation. Spear after spear was thrust through, some almost reselling us as we crouched down on the floor of the cabin, when all at once we heard a crash, and, on looking up, to our horror saw that one of the panels of the door had been forced in sufficiently for a man to thrust his body through. We both im­ mediately sprang upon our feet grasping our revolvers more firmly, expecting ty thoughts were especially turned upon j that, in desperation, some of them would ' - be hardy enough to try and force their way into the cabiu. But they were far too cunning for that. Two of them now got upon chairs, bat taking care to keep out of the liue of fire of our revolvers, and by side- thrusts--by which they showed that they were adepts in the use of the weapon--compelled us to kneel and crouch behind the chest of drawers one moment, into the berths the next, and, at last, under the bottom of them, where we were for some time comparatively safe. Hut, emboldened by their success, they now faced the broken paneling ; and we could plainly gee that, in another nuD?; itwo, the matter would end by our both being speared like wild boars. I whispered to Spenoer to fire at the first head that showed itself at the paneling, Lome, and a dear mother from whom I reoeived a letter by the last mail, who was then in a very delicate state •Of, b pijltli 1 had answered her letter that morning. ** I must have been on the poop about %hree quarters of an hour after Mr. Bpencer had left me, and was thinking of returning to the cabin to look over aome papers connected with the ship, when I observed a sammpan, or Chinese boat, hovering round the stern. I called out to the men in the boat, and inquired what they wanted there ; but their only answer, when they found they were ob­ served, was to pull away from the ship in tne direction of the middle of the har- : bor. Their movements I did not at all -like, and leaning on the taffrail, I watched them until they were lost in the . " 'I have no occasion,' said Charley, 'to ask you to remember the 8th of March, for that you will do to the end of your days; but I have also reason to re- inemutji' it; for on that day, as I learned by a letter from home by the last mail, an only brother was killed on the Great Western Railway, in the collision "that occurred near Beading. Well, if you remember that evening, we were to have a great spread at Douglas'. Thompson, Wilkinson, and some twenty others were invited, including Capt. Wilkes. Of course, yon know what a jovial fellow Wilkes is, good for a story or song, and can take his part in an argument with the beat of them. Everything went off very well during dinner; and after the cloth had been removed^ and one or two songs had been given, the call was for Wilkes. He, however, who is usually so ready and willing to oblige, mpde Bome excuse about hoarseness, which, however, was so palpably fictitious that we all burst out laughing; and upon be­ ing pressed again by some of us, includ­ ing old Douglas, he positively refused, and intimated his intention of going on board at once. We could see that some­ thing had occurred to irritate him, but for the life of us none of us could guess. Before leaving the room, however, Douglas called him to one side, and asked him the cause of his going away so early. He replied that he was uneasy in his mind;*that a depression of spirits, such as he had never felt before, had come over him within the last half hour, but for which he could not account; and asked Douglas kindly not to detain him, as he wanted to go on board to see that everything was all right; and if he felt better, they might expect to see him in the course of an hour or.so. And in an hour's time he did return, not to join our party, bat to horrify us with the de­ tails of what had occurred on board the Wild DayrelL Dr. Anderson, who was one of our party, went on board imme­ diately to attend to you, and Capt. Wilkes and two or three of ns proceeded to the police station to report the mat­ ter. The police took the matter up vig­ orously; and, thanks to a large reward offered by the owners, one of the gang turned Queen's evidence, and in the course of three or four days the whole gang was safely lodged in the Victoria Jail. They were brought up before the magistrate, and remanded until yon are able to appear against them.' "But I asked: 'What time did Capt. Wilkes arrive on board the Wild Darrell? It was some time after ten o'clock--of that I am sure.' "'Yes,' he replied; 'I believe it was just half-past ten when he pulled along­ side, for five bells were struck from all the other ships lying alongside of him, but not from his own, which at the time he noticed as very singular. As he ap­ proached the ship he saw two boats com- ing Irora iliO direction of her, but at the time he took no notice of them; bat there is no doubt, he thinks, that these very boats contained the gang.' " * But did they suoceed in obtaining any of the treasure ?' 1 again asked. " 4 No, not a cent of it, thanks to Chubb, t They had tried to pick the lock; and when they found that they could not succeed in that, they tried gunpowder, but with the same result. The two English seamen were found tied in their bunks, and quite drunk. They acknowledged that the steward had given them three bottles of brandy early in the evening, as a present; and they made good use of it, for they were haft drunk the next morning. The vest of the crew were too much afraid of their own neeks to offer any resistance or give the alarm. The Wild Dayrell (tailed a couple of days afterward, but with a fresh crew.'" And so ended Charley's account. " About a week after this conversa­ tion," continued the narrator, "I ap­ peared at the Police Court, and rwore to every one of the gang, eight in number. They were sent for trial to the High Court, and all found guilty of mutiny and conspiracy, and sentenced, four of them, to penal servitude for life, two for fourteen years, and the remaining two for seven years each." The Old E lm Destroys** The historic and renowned old elm on Boaton Common which sheltered Miles Standish and the Win slows, beneath whose boughs Benjamin Franklin played when he was a baby, and which was so old in 1776 that Israel Putnam and tieorge Washington, when they assumed their military commands, were afraid it would fall down and kill somebody, M prostrated and destroyed by a gale lately. There is a sort of centennial propriety in the fall, and relic hunters spent the night in an affectionate scram­ ble for bits of the boughs. It was one of the oldest trees known in this coun­ try, and probably older than the Stuy- vesant pear tree. The limb blown off in the gale of 1860 plainly disclosed more than 200 rings. Now Boston will have another funeral--speeches, poems, tears, and a good time generally*--iVeif York Graphic* BRISTOW. His jsarly' KetJr*m«nt Probable--A Cl«ner- al KeorganteMloii ol the Cabinet--The Pro ponied Changfes. r Washington (Feb. 19) Telegram to the Chicago In* ter-Ocean.] The predictions made in these dis­ patches from time to time regarding the retirement of Secretary Bristow from the Cabinet are about to be realized. The matter of his retirement ss no longer merely rumor, but is to day spoken of as a positive fact. The Secretary himself is authority for such statements and has told many of his friends that his rela­ tions with the President were not such as would permit of their acting in har­ mony much longer. The New York Tribune, which is known here as a Bris­ tol's organ: makes the announcement, on Bristow's authority, as follows : "Hie fact need no longer be concealed that the President and Secretary of the Treasury mast soon part company. Gen. Grant fs no longer satisfied with Mr. Bristow, and the lat­ ter IB becoming restive and dissatisfied wiiii his present honors. The growing distance between the two gentlemen has not reached that point where personal intercourse of an agreeable na­ ture is no longer possible, but each is more at ease in other society ; whether from any known oauee, if from any cause, is not & matter of dijpcnssion nosv ; but there is a feeling between the two that is difficult to describe, but wfaieh produces a constant constraint and embarrass­ ment. That it has its foundation in the Bab- cock matter is generally admitted, but _ until the case is disposed of by the court no discus­ sion is vouchsafed. A change in the Treasury Department is possible within a few days. It cannot reasonably be delayed a fortnight. The Secretary expresses his differences with the President very mildly as a feeling that is diffi­ cult to describe, but which produces a constant constraint and embarrassment. The Secretary declines to state the cause." Secretary Chandler, Edwin D. Mor­ gan, of New York, and John C. New are mentioned, with probabilities in favor of the latter. A general reorganization of the department will follow a new ap­ pointment. Bluford Wilson will be ono of the first removals. There are good grounds for believing that a general re­ organization of the Cabinet will take place within a few weeks. Attorney- General Pierrepont will be a candidate for the Court of St. James, in place of Gen. Schenek, whose recall is certain. Judge Taft, of Ohio, is mentioned as Pierrepont's successor. Secretary Fish may possibly be selected to succeed Schenck, as it is said to be left entirely to his own preference. In that case •Pierrepont will succeed Mr. Fish. Ex- Senator Ramsey, of Minnesota, it is slated, will take the Postoffic© Depart­ ment, in order that Mr, Jewell may en­ ter the Gubernatorial canvass in Con­ necticut. As Assistant Postmaster, Gen. Barber, of Michigan, and Gen. Hawley, of Book Island, are prominent­ ly mentioned. Average Crops and Prices for 1875. The bi-monthly report of the Depart­ ment of Agriculture for January and February is mainly devoted to a review ol the crops and prices for 187JL giving much interesting information. The eight largest corn-producing States show a very gratifying increase in yield. The average number of bushels per acre is given, as follows: £ • stam. 18T2. 1878. 1874. 1875. Tennessee....; 28.5 22.5 16.8 30.5 Kentucky 81.2 29.5 35 88.8 Ohio... 89.5 35 88 83.2 Indiana, 38.7 25.0 27 344 Illinois ....88.8 21 18 84.5 lows... 39.8 29 29.2 85 Missouri. 37 33.5 16 86.6 Kanttaa 38.5 39.1 10.5 38.4 The average for the past! four years were as follows : State*. Tenneaaee... prices obtained per bushel 1872. 1878. 1874. 1875. .90.48 $0.68 $0.68 $0.41 44 S5 41 43 88 44 . 29 40 SI 89 83 56 84 . 38 81 48 37 : » 88 74 38 : » 60 76 68 . 63 64 73 60 . 43 80 76 83 Ohio.. Indiana...... .. Illinois Iowa... Missouri......... Pennsylvania.... North Carolina., Texas The yield of tbe wheat crop showed a remarkable diminution compared with the three preceding years, as will be seen by this table of average bushels per acre - States. 1871 1878. 1874. 1876. 18.5 16.6 8 14.3 14.8 12.8 13 15 9.6 13.3 14.3 18.5 11.3 13.3 9 13.1 13.5 11.5 10.5 16.5 11.6 14 18.8 13.4 17 18 11.6 9.7 13.8 13.5 9 11.6 14 13.7 13.5 18.6 18.3 11 The following are the average prices obtained for the past four years: States. New Trork 1872. 1873. 1874. 1876. States. New Trork $1.06 $1.00 $1.26 $1.31 Pennsylvania.... 1.67 1.50 1.21 1.20 Ohio... 1.43 1.31 1.04 1.0D 1.35 1.08 1.15 1.22 94 97 'J? 86 91 Wisconsin ..... 1.08 'J? 88 91 80 70 86 Iowa 86 79 65 71 Missouri.' ..... 1.41 1.13 83 - 96 1.83 99 1.18 Bismarck's Autograph--How a Mich­ igan Girl Obtained It. Tne Grand Rupids (Mich.) Eagle prints an extract from a letter written in Berlin, by a daughter of a resident of Grand Bapids, to Hon. Elliott T. Slocum of the same city. She says: Among my Christmas presents was a beautiful autograph album, bound in in blade atad silver. I said, immediately, this BUI be & distinctly German book ; it will be a delightful souvenir of thi« winter passed in Berlin. " Oh, if I only could have Bismarck's autograph! I do admire him so much." Everybody laughed at me, and said perhaps some of the officers could procure for me a docu­ ment which he had signed. But I thought it would be nicer to have some­ thing directly from him; so one day I sent the following note, written in En­ glish, so as to make more impression : TO Hiit Highnuoti Princ* Bismarck: A young American girl who, during two win­ ters passed in Germany, has learned to truly love DM Vaterlaud, would feel Inexpressibly honored to be able to carry back to America the autograph of the greatest living ntatesman. Begging that this request may not be considered a most unwarrantable intrusion, with the deep­ est respect, LO&RAINE F. WOOD. I thought it very improbable I should received any aaswer. So imagine, if you can, my delight, when a large envelope was brought by the postman yesterday, with Bismarck's own private arms in a great red seal on the back. Inclosed was my note, with his written in a large, striking hand on the blank side of the which I took pains to write very distinct­ ly, increased the effect. I am glad, too, that he returned my note, and shall paste letter, seal and all into my book ; so I shall have the whole extent of 4he correspondence. A CENTENNIAL YETEKAS. A Man "Wlio Listened to a Speech " CroMk Washington, and Who Belonged to a Fire In 1790= - - Michael Edwards, Sr., of Monnds- ville, Pa., is now in Ids one hundred and ninth year. When at Moundsville, a few days ago, a correspondent had a short interview with the old gentleman. It was something to look upon a man whose birth dated back to the 17th of August, 1767, and to hear him tell of seeing Gen, Washington in the street* of hi" native town ere yet the Father of his Country had reached the zenith of his great fame. Mr. Edwards thinks he remem­ bers when the news of the Declaration of Independence was brought to York, Fa., where he then lived. He remembers hearing Washington make a short speech in York, after the war, in which, among other things, he said that there was likely to be, sometime in the future, a war, caused by office seekers, that would be worse than the Revolution. He cast his first vote for Washington, for Presi­ dent, and voted for him both times, and after him for John Adams, He left York in 1801 and went out to Washington, Pa., where he was married in 1805 to Miss Eleanor Cady, a lady nineteen years his junior. They lived together fifty-three years, she dying in 1858. The family consisted of four boys, all still living, the oldest of whom is now in his seventieth year. Mr. Edwards lived at Washington until 1835, at which time he moved to Moundsville, where he has since resided. He worked at his trade (gunsmithing) nntil he was between eighty and ninety years of age. When he was in his ninety-third year he walked from Wheeling to Moundsville in about two hours and a half, a feat that many young men could not rival. He has seldom been severely sick in his life, although he has never taken extra care of his health; chewed and smoked tobacoo, and taken an occasional glass of liquor, although not addicted to drink. His general habit has been to rise and retire at an early hour, and during the most of his life has seldom slept after four in the morning. He comes of a long-lived ancestry, as do most personk who attain great age, his mother having lived to be upward of one hundred and three years old. In the fall of 1870, in his one hundred and fourth year, Mr. Edwards revisited the scenes of his childhood in York, Pa., and while there received quite an ova­ tion from its citizens. Among other tokens of respect, he was presented with a gold-headed cane by Hie members of the Laurel Company, of which company he was the oldest surviving member. The company had him charged on their books with a fine of 11 pence " for non- attendance on the evening of 30th March, 1799," and while there the Secre­ tary, as a good Joke, tendered him a bill, which, principal and interest, amounted to $4.81. At the coming Centennial celebration at Philadelphia there will not be many greater curiosities to l>e seen than old Mr. Edwards. There will be present a few venerable men of the past like Mr. Edwards, who were children in 1776, who may perchance remember the Fourth of July of that eventful year, and they will be, as indeed tbey ought to be, among the most interesting feat- ares of the exhibition. name of the Deity in Forty-Eight Lan- guages. The following list, comprising the name of God in forty-eight, languages, was compiled by the well-known. French philologist, Louis Burger, in the follow­ ing manner: One day, as he was walk­ ing along the streets of Paris, he heard a voice beseeching him to buy some nuts. Upon looking back he discovered that it was the voice of his old fearber who was gaining a scanty liviag bj selling nuts on the street. To aid Mm he hastily made ont and gave him the following list: Hebrew--Elohlum. Chaldaic--Eilah. Assyrian--Eleah. Syriac and ' Malay- -Allah. Arabic--Allah. Language of Magi--Oris. Old .Kgyptian--Tent. Artnoriau --Teuti. Modern Egyptian--1Toun Greek--Theoa. Cretan--Thios. jEolian and Doric--Hoe. Latin--Deus. Low Latin--Diex. Celtic and Gallic--Din. French--Dieu. Spanish-- Dioa. Portuguese--Deoe. Old German--Diet. Provencal -Dion. Low Breton--Done. Italian--Dio. itish--Dia. German and Bwiai--Gfet, Flemish--Goed, Dutch--Godt. EngMrti & old «H©J»-r-<!*od Teutonic--Goth. Laniph ;uid •£» *» odlah--Gut. N or weglan--1Gud. Slave--Buch. Polifih--Bog. Pollacea--Bung. v * Lapp--Jubinal. Finnish--Jumnla. Runic--As. Zemblian--Fetizo. Pannonian--Istu. Hindoetanee--Bain. Coromandel--Bruna. Tartar--Magatol. Persian--Sire. Chinese--Prussa. Japanese--Goezur. Madagascar-- Zannar. Peruvian--Puchecsmmae Olalu Tongue--Den. ain sorry to etate that I cannot do even for a yo»mg lady, what I have oftener refused to thoae of older yean;. _ _ _ BISMABCK. Was it not cunning in him to send his autograph while refusing to send it? Every one thinks he must be intensely amused at my having the courage to write, and tnat "the greatest living statesman," and my name Lorraine, By the sale of these lists the barber was enabled to make as good a living, if not better, than M. Burger himself.--Tablet, Senator Christiancy and His Bride. The Washington correspondent of the Troy Times writes: " Society has been struck to its profoundest depths this week by the marriage of Senator Chris- tiancy, of Michigan, to Miss Lugerbeel, of the Bureau of Engraving. That is, she was a female Treasury clerk. She was poor, pretty and young, while he is rich, rather homely, and old. It was the union of spring and winter, youth and age, and of course the gossips will talk. Bome of our elderly ladies hold that a man of sixty four has no business to marry a girl of nineteen, and that due respect to the late Mrs. Christiancy should have kept him. out of a second marriage so soon as this, but the young lady was pretty and willing, and the Senator is a good deal of an indepen­ dent " and got married as he votes---to suit himself and his own convenience. Miss Lugerbeel steps from a clerk's desk into the forefront of Washington so­ ciety, not only as a Senator's wife but as the wife of a wealthy man. A month ago she counted carefully her horse-car tickets, and now she has her carriage and pair like the wife of the British Minister 1" Bint stood in a wagon, in Loretto, Ky., and he was on a high doorstep. Tney tried to kiss each other. Mid leaned recklessly out of plumb. His nose was broken on the pavement, disfiguring him h< for life, and her thump that she days. head got BO hard a delirious for several f JfOY OF INCOMPLBTEirSSS. tt all our liven were one broad slarA I Of sunlight clear, unclouded; If all our path were smooth ana fair, By no toft gloom enshrouded; " all llfe'a flowers were folly blown Without the sweet unfolding, And happinesa were rudely thrown On hands too weak fat holding-- Should we not miss the t wilight lionrs, ^ *h® gentle haze and sadnetig? » Should we not long for storms and To bregk tk€ constant glsdnesfl *"5 "lo* and none * °® oould we renderf 1 tnink If we were alwnyn glad " ' Ye scarcely could be tender/ **" Did our beloved never need \* Our patient administration. i>\k *£ » Earth would grow cold, and miss inddMt Ite aweeteet consolation; Iff If sorrow never claimed our hearts And every wish were granted. * Patience would die and hoi Life would be disenchant And yet in heaven is no night. In heaven is no more sorrow! Such unimagined new delight Fresh grac* from pain will bono* As the poor seed that underground Seeks its true life above it, Not knowing what will there be found When sunbeams kiss and love it; So we in darkness upward grow, And look and long for heaven, Bat cannot picture it below . Till more of light be given. {•4 Pith and Point. A WASTK of ** t"--Putting it in depot. DIHT for lovesick maidens--Tender- lines. MAN alone is born crying, lives com­ plaining and dies disappointed. ISN'T an aim without a name synony­ mous with an ominous anonymoas 1 . WHEN does a farmer double a sheep without h.i§*ting it ? When he folds it. A MAN who has tried it says that grumbling at meal-time helps meat to digest as well as laughter. THE Princess Beatrice looks scornful­ ly at poverty stricken suitors of noble birth. She does not wish to be un­ derstood as standing in the way of Amerirajns. Two Irishmen traveling, were robbed and tied in a wood. One, in despair, cried : 44 Och, I am undone!" Said the other : " Faix then I wished you would- come and undo me." GAS Company President--" Ah, we must accommodate ourselves to the Hmw, Announce a reduction cf ten cents# thousand feet in the price of gas--and add a couple thousand feet on each bill," •Comic Monthly. WHEN a man detects a missing button- after getting on a clean shirt, no one in the house is aware <af the fact He takes off the shirt and puts on another, quietly smiling all the while. He never, never speaks of it to a soul. FORWARD and loquacious youth: "By Jove, you know--upon my word, now-- if I were to see a ghost, you know, I would be a chattering idiot for the rest of my life." Ingenious maiden: " Haven't you seen a ghost?" " MRS. SPUNKS,' observed a boarder to the landlady of a Munson street cara­ vansary ; "the equal adjustment of this establishment could be more safely se­ cured if there was less hair in the hash and more in the mattresses."--Danbury News. NOT long sinoe a little girl in Lexing­ ton, Ky., composed and published a sentence of forty-two letters, embracing all the letters of the alphabet The sentence is as follows: "John Q. Pardy gave me a black walnut box of small size." THE fighting among the Chinamen at Austin, Nev., continued until the lawyers began to send in their bills for defend­ ing the belligerents. Under this sudden stroke of civilization John wilted, and now he murmurs " dam big mouf takee allee heap," when a lawyer passes his way. THE other day, up in Watertown, the wind blew a lady directly into a gentle­ man's arms, and ever since that time, whenever Old Probabilities indicates breezy weather, the sidewalks of the town are so crowded with young men as to render them almost impassable. THE editor of the Boston Pilot is Mr. Patrick Donahoe, of which fact the fol­ lowing extract from his editorial ool- umns contains inherent testimony: " Charles O'Conor is strong enough to attend to business--and all because he was a natural, healthy man, and took no physic. If people would let "°ture alone, or at nc.^t giva her a helping hand, it would be well for them." THERE is something so sensible in the following that it is worth setting down: The young woman who deliberately goes lately to church to attract attention as she scrapes down the aisle is a foolish virgin. The young man who plasters his hair down straight to a low, retreat­ ing forehead, bridges his nose with eye­ glasses, and wears a loud cape, when he' comes late to a concert, and strikes at­ titudes at the audience before the door while he glares about for a seat, and then stalks to it with the proud air of a prize mule at a country fair, is a snob. HOW THEY DID IT. f They were sitting side by side, And she sighed, and then he sighed. Said he, "My darling idol!" And he idled, and then she idled. " You are creation's belle," And she bellowed, and then he bellowed. **• On mv soul there's suets a weight," • Add he waited, and then she waited. " Your baud I ask, so bold I'm grown,59 And he groaned, and then she groaned. "Yon shall have your private gig," And she giggled, and wen he giggled. Skid she, " My dearest Luke--" 4nd he looked, and then ahe looted. ; , • "I'll have thee, if thou wilt," _ Jkixd he wilted, and then she wiltsd. , To Preserve the Color of Calicoes. Before washing almost any colored fabrics it is recommended to soak them for some time in water, to every gallon of which is added a spoonful of ox-galL A teacup of lye in a pail of water is sua to improve the color of black goods, when it is necessary to wash them. A strong, dean tea of oommon hay will preserve the oolor of French linens. Vinegar in the rinsing water, for pink or green,; will brighten those colors, and soda answers the same purpose for both purple and blue. The colors of the above fabrics may be preserved by using a Btrong milk-warm lather of white soap, and putting the dress into it, instead of robbing it on the material, and stirring into a first and second tub of water a arge tablespoonful of ox-gall. THB horse-car pot*try has incited a re­ bellion in New York, and the cry ia now : " No seat, no fare." This is a slip, between the cup and the lip, which the lyrical conductaire has not provided for. ,• di (& •