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|e«. Mwaf.'S! ™ Fas *<? BT OLrVKK WKM>F.LL HOLK*8 Twas on the famous trotting ground, > .j. The betting men were gathered rcmod -- - - - -- -- -- • i h o « • c r a c k s " w e * * l a w * -r. w0 K The sunshine's gwnen jimmm "nvm m Fiilfes «t>d oolte like kittens plato • I ^w/Sedsdthnporttng print* «fc)cla*pf "•nir wwift ff. ffi.« old H ir&mr& -R&£» " JtJic fleet,«, h., Dan Pfeiffer's brag,, r, , ViOi these » third--and who if- he * • •That standi beside his f«at »• R-« i>oble, whose catarrhal MM Bo Alls tlio nasal trump of famfc. There too etood many a noted stcea MivsHRn^p.r *Tirt Moiyati breed t Green horses also, not- A few ©nknown M yet what they could do, And all the hacks that know so weU The scourgings of the Sunday swell. juiue are the skies of opening ^ a: asssjsftsa'MSi AnTdanco and toss their rippled' man* ^h<ntn«r snd soft as silken skeitw; Wagons and gigs arc ranged "•' out, And fashion flannts her gay turnout; Here stands--each youthful Jehu's dream-- The ioinMM tandem, ticklish team! And there in ampler breadth expand The splendors of the four-in-hand; On i^ulUess ties and glossy tiles - The lovely bonnets beam their smiles {The style's the man, m books avow: The style's the woman, anyhow); litm flounces frothed with creamy lao* iPeepH out the pug-dog's smutty face, Or spaniel rolls his liquid eye, Or Rtsres the wiry pftt of Skye -- ' - '© womaa, in out lioisra of ©».ee go shy with us, BO free with the»! 41 Come on! Ill bet yon two to one ru make him do it!" " Will yon? DWI* What was it who was bound to do? * did not hear and cant tell you,-- pqay listen till my story's through. f!cafoe noticed, back behind the rest, By cart and v &gov rndelj prect, Che pars>en'» lean and bory bay fttornt harnessed in his cne-horae shay,-- tent to the sexton for the day* "If A funeral-- so the sexton stdd ; His mother's uncle's wife was dead). Like Lasarus bid to Dives' feast, Bo looked the poor forlorn old beast; His coat was rough, his tail was bare, The gray was sprinkled in his hair; Sport? s« en and jockeys knew him not, And yet they say he once could trot Among the fleetest of the town, Till something cracked and broke him down,-- The steed's, the statesman's common lot! " And are we then so soon forgot?" Ah me ! I doubt if one of you Has ever heard the name " Old Bine," Whose fame through all this region rang In those old days when I was young! Bring forth the horse!" Alas! he showed Hot like the one Mazeppa rode; gcant-maned. sharp-backed, and shaky-kneed, The wreck of what was once a steed. jjips thin, eyes hollow, *tiff in joints; Yet not without his knowing paints. The fiextort, laughing in his sleeve As if t were all a make-believe, J>d forth the horse, and as he laughed Unhitched the breeching from a shaft, •Unclasped the rusty belt beneath. Brew forth the snaffle from his teeth, Slipped off his headstall, set him free From strap and rein--a sight to see! So worn, so lean in every limb. It cant be they are saddling him! It is! his back the pig-skin strides And flaps his lank, rheumatic sides; With looks of mingled scorn and mirth They buckle round the saddle girth; With horsey wink and saucy toss A youngster throws his leg across, And so, his rider on his back, They lead him, limping to the track. Far "up behind the starting-point, To limber oat each stiffened joint. As through the jeering crowd he past, One pitying look cld^Hiram cast; •• Go it, ye cripple, while ye can!" Cried out unsentimental Dan ; " A Fast-day dinner for the crows!' Budd Doble's scoffing shout arose. Slowly, as when the walking-beam First feels the gath ring head of steam, With warning cough and threatening wheese The stiff old charger crooks his knees, At first with cautious step sedate, As if he dragged a coach of state; He's not a colt; he knows full well That time is weight and sure to tel No horse so sturdy but he fears The handicap of twenty years. As through the throng on either hand The old horse nears toe judges' stand, Beneath his jockey's feather-weight He warms a little to his gait, And now and then a step is tried That hints of something like a stride. " Go !--Through his ear the summons stung As if a battle-trump bad rang; The slumbering instincts long unstirred Start at the old familiar word; It thrill* like flame through every limb-- w hat mean his twenty years to him t The savage blow his rider dealt Fell on hia hollow flanks unfelt; ' , The spur that pricked his staring hide Unheeded tore his bleeding side; Alike to him are spur and rein. He steps a five-year-old again! Before the quarter pole was past, Old Hiram said, " He's going fast.1* Long ere the quarter was a half, The chuckling crowd had ce ased to laugh; Tighter his frightened jockey dung As in a mighty stride he swung, The grnvel flying in his track, His neck stretched out, his ears laid back, His tail extended all the while Behind him like a rat-tail file! Off went a shoe, away it spun, hot like a bullet from a gun. "The qoaking jockey shapes a prayer From scraps of oaths he used to swear; He drops his whip, he drops his rein, a.® sistchts fieteeiy far a. mane; Hell lost his hold--he sways and reels-- : Hell elide beneath those trampling hsAtel " ' •i'iae knees of many & horseman quake, ' • The Hovme %>a many a bonnet stake, .-isd 3*101159. wise from left and right, . „ Ifltfcfcaoal Stick on!" " Hould tight ! liould tight!" # , round his neck sad don'tiet «o-- .. . That pace can't hold--there ! steady! who*!" But like thfc sable steed that bore The spectral lover of Lenore. His nostrils snorting foam and fire, -So stretch his bony limbs cm tire ; And now the stand he rushes by, And " Stop him!--stop him !" is the cry. Stand back!.he's only just begun-- He's having out three heete in one! " Don't rash in front! he'll smash your brains; But follow up and grab the reins !" Old Hiram spoke. Dan Pfeffer hearcj. And sprang impatient at the word; Budd Doble started on his bay, Old Hiram followed on his gray. ' • And off they spring and round they go, The fant ones doing " all they know.". liook! twice they follow at his heels, As round the circling course he wheels, And whirls with him that dinging boy Like Hector round the walls oS Troy; Still on, and on, the third time round! They're tailing off ! they're losing grooad I Budd Doble's nag begins to fail! Dan ffeiffer'n sorrel whisks his tail! And see! in spite of whip and shout, V'"' Old Hiram's mare is giviug out! Now for the finish! at the turn, '• • The old horse--all the rest astern-- " *. Comes swinging in with easy toot; By Jove! he's distanced all the lot! That trot no mortal rould explain; Some said, " Old Dutchman come again!" Some took his time--at leant they tried. But what it was could none decide ' One, said he couldn't understand i' What happened to his second hand • One said 'i:10; that couldr't be- More like two twenty-two or three • Old Hiram settled it at hut; ' " The time was two--too dee-vel-iah fast V The parson's horse had won the bet; It cost him something of a nweat; Back in the one-horse shay he went; The parson wondered what it meant, And murmured, with a mild surprise And pleasant twinkle of the teyes, 41 That funeral must have been a trick, Or corpses drive at double-quick; I shouldn't wonder, I declare, If Brother Murray made the prayer!" An* this is all I have to say About the parson's poor old bay, The same that drew the one-horse shay. Moral for which this tale is told; A horse can trot, for all he's old. DISAPPOINTED SEEKJhJiS FOR THE PRESIDENCY. The divine injunction, "Seek and ye shall find," does not--at least, in all its force--apply to all those persons who desire to be placed at the head of the American Union. As there could have been but twenty-two elected Presidents of the United States between 1789 and 1877, even bad Predtd^flit Meft limited to one term, and as seven Presi­ dents were re-elected, it follows that the number of successful aspirants to our National Chief Magistracy has been but small; while the number of tnsuccessful aspirants has been very large, something like a legion, when, we oount not only those of their number who received nominations or electoral votes, but those also ^howere " named for nominations," or who were pushed forward by admir­ ing but not very judicious friends. Per­ haps » running sketch of the history of IY«mii«nMal .-aspiration may not be out of place afrthnrii--i wlim -Presidential aspirants «e so smmerous, •n4 w^f ] the host of the disappointed is BO sure to- be heavily reinforced before the close of the first century of the Republic's life, not a month hence--for there are aoout a score of men now aspiring to be Presi­ dent Grant's successor, who have fair pretensions to the favors of the parties to which they belong ; and yet but two of these men can become candidates wklh anything, like well-founded hopes of success, and but one of them can be chosen to the Presidency. Then there are twenty more, perhaps, who have been talked of, or " thought of" in limited circles, but of whom the great public, the people, have heard little in any case, and nothing in most cases. The first and second Presidential elec­ tions were not contested, so fair as the first office was concerned. Washington was made President without open oppo­ sition, receiving on both occasions all the electoral votes ; but aa the system of voting in the colleges then stood, every man who received a vote was a candidate for one of the two offices that were filled by the action of the electors ; and there were no less than ten such persons, with the following result: John Adams, 34; John Jay, 9 ; R. H. Harrison, 6 ; John Rutledge, 6 ; John Hancock, 4 ; George Clinton, 3; Samuel Huntingdon, 2; John Milton, 2 ; John Armstrong, 1;' and Benjamin Lincoln, 1. With two exceptions, all the men who received these votes were famous revolutionary characters ; and Mr. Adams, though he had not a majority of the electoral votes, was legally chosen to the Vice-Presi­ dency, according to the manner of fill­ ing the second office in 1789. Our first contested national election occurred in 1796 ; and a very close one it was, Mr. John Adams being chosen to the Presidency by 71 votes, and Mr. Jefferson receiving 68 votes ; and these last vctes made Mr. Jefferson Vice Presi­ dent. It was in that contest that disap- gointed aspirants began to appear, ome of the Federalists desired that John Jay, of New York, should be their party's candidate, and probably he would have been supported by that party, and Mr. Adams have been set aside, had it not been for the circumstance that he was laboring under the odium that fol­ lowed from his having negotiated the famous treaty with England--"Jay's Treaty," as it was denominated--and hence he was not 'available. He can be set down as having aspired to the Presi­ dency, though he did not seek it; and had he remained Chief Justice of the United States Supreme Court, and had he taken no part in politics in 1789-'96, in all probability he would have been our second President, as he was one of the very first men of that period in every respect. But there was another aspirant in 1696 who failed. Thomas Pinckney, of South Carolina, s prominent man, was the Federalist candidate for the Vice Presidency ; andit%as intended by some of the Federalists that he should be made President, they having an invin­ cible distrust of Mr. Adams. As Gen. Pinckney must have known what it was contemplated to do, we must set h*n down as having been a very much dis- ppointed man when he found that not only had he been defeated for the Presi­ dency, but that he had failed to get the Vice Presidency. A number cf the Adams Federalist electors withheld their votes from him, the plan that had been formed for the defeat of Mr. Adams being thus turned against Gen. Pinck­ ney himself, with fatal effect. Mr. Adams had 71 votes, Mr. Jeffeison 68, and Gen, Pinckney 59. In consequence, as already stated, Mr. Jefferson became Vice President, Mr. Adams, it will be seen, came within two Votes of being placed at the very head ef the long list of disappointed Presidency seekers. Two Southern electoral votes alone saved hhn» f rom having that disagreeable .po­ sition forced upon himl ' "A'aiiigle voice in V>.*gKiifr," says his' and biographer, "and one in North" Carolina, prompted by the lingering memory of revolutionary services, had turned the scale. Had these been given to Mr. Jefferson instead, he would have been President. South Carolina, on the other hand, steady to neither party, manifested the same sectional bias which has ever since marked her policy tthis was written in 1856] by dividing ler votes between Mr. Jefferson and Mr. Pinckney." It was New England that defeated Gen. Pinckney, for she gave eighteen votes against him, which not only placed bim third on the list of candidates, but more than neutralized the support he got in South Carolina. He gained a vote in Pennsylvania, but lost three in Maryland. Had eleven of the eighteen New England votes that were given for Ellsworth, Jay and others been given for Pinckney, he would have been chosen to the Vice Presidency, as he would have had seventy votes, or two more than were given for Mr. Jefferson, and one less than the number received by Mr. Adams. Of the sixteen votes of Massachusetts, thirteen were given for Pinckney. President Adaims failed of a re-election 1800-1801, and so he must be set down as a semi-disappointed aspirant; and Mr. Jefferson himself came very near being placed on the roll of such aspirants. He and Col. Burr, who were on the Democratic ticket, received the same number of votes (78), and so no man was chosen to the Presidency, as the Constitution then stood, and* the elec­ tion devolved upon the House of Repre­ sentatives. After balloting for a week, the House elected Mr. Jefferson, and Col. Burr became Vice President. Had one of the New York electors withheld •is vote from Jefferson, Burr would have been chosen to the Presidency by T3 votes to 72. Burr was the first of the disappointed Democratic aspirants to the Presidency; and 4us ruin--which has been pronounced " the profoundest and most striking, with more of moral circumstance in it than thai of almost any other man "--was owing, not to his .vices, political Or persoliil, or both, Wit to the incident that he permitted him­ self to be ran. against Jefferson in the House of Representatives. Yet his con­ duct, though it may not have been hon­ orable toward his own party, was in strict accord with the requirements of the Constitution and the laws. He had as good a right to be a candidate in the Hons© of Representatives as Mr. Jeffer­ son possessed--exactly the same right-- and had he been chosen, he would have been entitled to the same treatment as Mr. Jefferson received. But it is not the l«s« fcrne thai t.hm J^ffetsonian party liis ov<9|$hrow by.® resort to irmslttd he heepqhoyen, <Wh"they spoke of their violent intention m it had referenoe to action that the Feder­ alists might have taken had the House failed to elect any one to the Presi­ dency. The election of 1804 sawthroe Presi­ dential aspirants, who were to be dead failures, on, the two tickets. President Jefferson "was renominated for a second term and re-elected. Of the 176 electo­ ral votes, he received all but fourteen, so low had the Federalists falien. The fourteen votes were given for Gen. Chauies Co tes worth Piii«kaey, of South Carolina, elder brother of Thomas Pinck­ ney, and a very distinguished actor in the revolutionary contest, Ho had been on the ticket with President John Adams in 1800, the anti-Adams Federal­ ists hoping to make him President, and making no disguise as to their views; but he ran one vote behind Mr. Adams, which was given for John Jay, by a Rhode Island elector. Thus he became the Federalist candidate in 1804, but he took nothing by his nomination. Rufus King was on the ticket with him, as the candidate for the Vice Presidency, and obtained the same support, or fourteen votes, which were given by Connecticut and Delaware and by two Maryland elec­ tors. The Democrats h$d removed Col. Burr from their ticket, and their new nominee for the second office was George Clinton, of New York, long Governor of that State, and the most influential man in it. He received the same number of votes that were given tor Mr. Jefferson. In 1808 there were a number of aspi­ rants for the Presidency. Mr, Jefferson, who had resolved to retire, wished to be succeeded by his Secretary of State, Mr. Madison ; but Jame Monroes thought he had "claims" on the Democratic party, and he and his friends were very restive. George Clinton wished to pro­ ceed, as Mr. Adams and Mr. Jefferson had proceeded, from the Vice Presidency to the Presidency ; and New Yo»k sup­ ported his claims. But everything had to yield to the iron will of Jefferson ; and Clinton ran again for the second place under Madison. The Federalists put up their ticket of 1804, Pinckney and King, and more than trebled the vote they had secured for it in the earlier year. Pinckney and King received 47 votes ; and Mr. Madison had 122 votes, and George Clinton 113. Quite a num­ ber of Democratic votes for the Vice Presidency were diverted from Clinton, nine being given for John Langdon, of New Hampshire, three for Mr. Madison, and three for Mr. Monroe. Six of the New York electors would not vote for Mr. Madison for the first place, and gave their Presidential votes for George Clin­ ton. These were the first signs afforded that the triumphant party was suffering from internal dissensions. Four years later these dissensions had much increased, and a great effort was made to turn out the Virginian dynasty, but with no other result than to place another disappointed Presidential aspi­ rant in the list to which such men be­ long. Had George Clinton lived, some­ thing effective might have been done; but he died early in 1812, a disappointed man. His nephew, De Witt Clinton, was nominated by the bolting Democrats; and the Federalists held a convention in New York and resolved to support him. After a warm conflict Mr. Madison was re-elected, he receiving 128 votes ; but the 89 votes that were given for De Witt Clinton showed how strong the op­ position had become, their vote having gone up, per sal turn, from 47 to 89, al­ most doubling in four years. Elbridge Gerry, of Massachusetts, was chosen Vice President, his vote being 121; and Jared Ingersoli, of Pennsylvania, an old Federalist, had 66. r . . , But before another election' con!$. tnVe place, everything had changed. The Second ww with England was declared in Jtrae, JM2 ; and most of tine Ifoitib- ern Federalists had so borne themselves concerning it as to create the impression that they were anxious for the success of the enemy. The masses are always pat­ riotic, and they "frowned upon" the Federalists, who never afterward made any figure as a national party; so that when the Presidential contest of 1816 began, the Democratic party alone had much to do with it. In making their arrangements there was another disap­ pointed aspirant placed conspicuously before the country, and another Southern man ; and the Federalist candidate made a third, and a fourth had been created a few years earlier. Early in 1813 John Armstrong, of New York, had been made Secretary of War. He had been a good soldier in the Revolution, and his reputation as a writer and author has remained high, notwithstanding Ms final failure in politics. He wrote the New- burgh Letters, which made him & sort of American Junius. He served in the National Senate, and he was Minister to France in Napoleon L'a time. Made a Brigadier General in 1812, he went soon after into the Cabinet. He hoped to be Madison's successor in 1817, but the capture of Washington ruined hiins though he was not responsible for that disgraceful event. It was believed that the President wanted to get him out of the way, for the purpose of being suc­ ceeded by Mr. Monroe, with whom he had "made up," and who had been ap­ pointed Secretary of Sfcte, and who acted as Secretary of War after Gen. Armstrong's retirement. The New Yorkers then sought the nomination of Gov. Daniel D. Tompkins for the Presidency, he having been very useful in supporting the war when at the head of tneir State ; but he had to give way to Mr. Monroe. Mr. Craw­ ford, of Georgia, also ha J to yield to the Virginian. Mr. Monroe had 183 votes, and the same number was given for Gev. Tompkins, who was chosen Vice President. Rufus King, ®f New York, the Federalist candidate, received Ohly thirty-four votes for the Presiden­ cy, and the same number of votes for the Vx^ rre^eagy was distributed » i i g T o « r M e r a l w t s . _ ' . : . . . , There was no contest in 1820, Monroe and Tompkins being re-elected with no opposition worth mentioning. Conse­ quently there -' were no disappointed aspirants created at that time; but at fie election of 3824 they cropped out strongly. There were six aapiranta to the Presidency as Monroe's administra­ tion drew to a close; Mr. J. Q. Adams, Gen. Jackson, Mr. Crawford (who had waived his "claims" in 1816), De Witt Clinton, Mr. Clay and Mr. Calhoun. Mr. Crawford was the " caucus candi­ date;" Mr. Galhoun postponed his pwr- pose', .and became a ai^oeef sfal cafl4i4®l» for the Vice. Presidency ; and I)e Witt Clinton did B6t" jleffSevere. lay between Crawford and the other three aspirants. There was no choice made by the electors, and Mr. Adams was chosen by the House of Representa­ tives. In 1828 President Adams was beaten by Gen. Jackson, and thus he, like his father, was disappointed one-half, as he failed only of a re-election. The contest Birn«y and Mr, Halereocived no eleotoral was confined to those two great men, no new aspirants appearing in the field; but in 1832 there were four candidates, two of whcia "Vi-cio nc^7 saen in the Presi­ dential business. President Jackson was re-elected, and Mr. Clay, who had been badly beaten in 1824, was beaten in the same manner in 1832. Mr. Wm. Wirt, who had been United States Attor­ ney General from 1817 tc 1829, was the anti-Masonic candidate, and received the electoral vote (7) of Vermont; and to John Floyd, of Virginia, were given the 11 votes of South Carolina. There were five candidates at the elec­ tion of 1836, and Daniel Webster, per­ haps the greatest of all the disappointed aspirants, obtained the 14 votes of Mas­ sachusetts; 26 were cast for Hugh L. White, of Tennessee, an old Jackson man; and 73 for Gen. Harrison. Mr. Van Buren was chosen President, the number of his votes being 170. South Carolina gave her 11 votes to Willie P. Mangum, of North Carolina. The great battle of 184,0 was a square, stand-up fight between the Democrats and the united opposition, and the former were beaten, President Van Buren receiving only 60 votes, and Gen. Harrison 234. With, perhaps, the ex­ ception of the campaign of 1872, there is nothing like it in our history. There were no new aspirants in it, but Mr. Van Buren was served like the Adamses, he failing of a re-election. The Whigs lost, or rather they failed to reap, the proper fruits of their victory, because they had made an injudicious nomina­ tion for tbe second office, so that Presi­ dent Harrison's early death was ruinous to them in a short time. But they rallied bravely, and came very near to success in 1844, when Mr. Clay was their candidate. A new aspirant was brought forward on the Democratic side, Gen. Cass, whos^ appearance was fatal to Mr. Van Buren's hopes; but the General himself was set aside, and Mr. Polk was nominated and elected. The Liberty party then came forward and supported Mr. James G. Birney, and the Wnigs attributed their defeat to that movement, as, they asserted, it took from them more votes in New York alone than would have sufficed to bring about the election of Mr. Clay. In 1848 there was a great change. The Democrats nominated Gen. Cass, and the Whigs Gen. Taylor--which led to bolting on both sides, and the bolting Barnburners of New York (Van Buren men) united with the bolting Free Soil- ers in support of a ticket bearing the names of Mr. Van Buren and Mr. 0. F. Adams. The result was the defeat of Gen. Cass, who never again was nomin­ ated. There had been some talk of nom­ inating either Judge Woodbury or Gen. Wm. O. Butler, of Kentucky, and it was said that both those gentlemen aspired to the Presidential nomination. Gen. Butler waB the Democratic candidate for the Vice Presidency. Another change came in 1862. Mr. Douglas had then become an aspirant, but the Democrats nominated Gen. Pierce, and he was chosen. Gen. Soott, who had long been a Presidency- seeker, was the Whig candidate, and he was utterly beaten; and perhaps his de­ feat was as great as that of Mr. Van Buren in 1840, save that the popular majority was not so largely adverse to frim uo it had been to Mr. Van Buren-- nor did it begin to approach the eivor- m.Qn3 popular majority that was given against Mr. Greeley at u*e last election. Mr. Fillmore, who was Serving the bal­ ance of the terift 'Of President Baylor (who had died in office), had sought he fell into the error of accepting an anti-Republican nomination, anabeoause he virtually assented to be the Democrat­ ic candidate for the Presidency. He had been a seeker'of the Presidency for some years. He must be set down, as baring attained to the disagreeable eminence of being the worst beaten. Presidential can­ didate mentioned in our history, because of the many mad vwrioiis bitter inddenta that marked,and ©Ijajracfasrwed his defeat andfall^ To sum up ; There are several clarwes of disappointed Presidential aspirants, vhioh can be set forth in. order : 4 1. The mep who were, jr^aiwly •Hated for the Presidency, and beaten, never teaching tile office. They are: Charles C. Pinckney, De Witt Clinton, Rufus King, William H. Crawford, Henry Clav, William Wirt, Hugh L. White, Daniel Webster, James G. Bir­ ney, Lewis Cass, Winfield Scott. John P. Hale, John C. Fremont, Stephen A. Douglas, John Bell, John C. Breckin­ ridge. George B. McClellan, Horatio Seymour, aad_Hora.ee Greeley. Mr, VAIHKK'8 FONDNESS.' #* nEDKaiQK Loom, ,4. , lrP°n yoDr mother** tirettt, • Your race begun, A welcome, long » wtehea-for jrutst, Whose aire in nnn ' * • Whose age is on*. „ dlbabywboy, you wonder whgr- $V;, < :'i $ . Yoo cannot run; ""••"•Won try to talk--tow hard you try!-- . . , Xou're only am. , _ * >« ' l » •Ere long you won't be each s dance: . You'll eat your bun, t '*4*4 £1- "it®, folk, - Were only one. : ' *ooTl rhyme and woo, and flghi and joK*. il« Perhaps youH pun; ; ' . ?8jtch feats are never doas by fait , *> Before theyjre (me. It , ^ f*" "* ... I,,! a*y,*e®, you may have ywu» Jay. And envy none • *®"i you, yourself, may own » fcoy Who isn't one. Hell duiue, and iaugh, and crow, he'll do As you have done; (Ton crown a happy home, tho' you Are only one.) . Bat when he's grown shall you be ben To share his fun, And talk of days when he (the dear n Was hardly one t » ' Dear child, 'tis your poor lot to be My little eon; i I'm glad, though I am old, you aee-- Wh!!<. you are one. ' • •"•»-• Pith and Point. THB journeyman tailor who fell in love decided not to preas his suit and was discharged. DON'T swap with yer relashuns NNL«W ye ken afford to give them the big end of the trade. As ONWAUD you march, with wearisome tramp, Footeore oyer earth's rough stubble, You may find it hard to borrow a '• stamp," ' But it's easy to borrow trouble.. MBS. IRA MEAD, of Greenwich, who is one hundred and six years old, says: "Few people die after they get to be a hundred." ^ JOKEINO (says Josh Billings) iz a risky bizziness; just for the sake ov a second Mass joke menmy a man has lost a fust HasB friend. SAITH the muse of the New York Event­ ing Mail: Truth crushed to earth shall rise again, , And waste its sweetness on the desert air, llMthunder, lightning, or in rain J None but tbe brave deserve the fair. FROM London Pun (on the hat and cloak fashions): Shocked and astonished verger--" You bad and wicked boy, why don't you take off your hat in church?" Bad and wicked boy (overcome with guilt)--" If yeu please, sir, I'm a little girl." A CLERGYMAN who was invited to preach before a medical association re­ turned answer that he would do so from the text: "In his disease Asa sought not to the Lord, but to the physicians ; and Asa slept with his fathers and died." The time for the delivery of the sermon has not yet been fixed. " JAMES, my love, perhaps--what do you think?--perhaps, may be, you know, dear--it just occurred to me that it might be cheaper to get a couple of silk dresses this summer, because, you see, the mu'berry has blighted the silk in the South of France, and the crop will be short, and dress-goods awful high next year." " WHAT is the use," cried a Yankee at the Centennial gates, " of standing here waiting to get in, when you - can skip around and climb over the fence in two minutes, and in two minutes more a burly policeman was seen coming out of one of the entrances attached to the nape of this man's neck, who was cry­ ing : "Sacrificed Washington, and is this the boasted liberty of an American citizen I" HE bought a cheap coat of the gen­ tlemen from Jerusalem, and he observed the next day that it was made of two kinds of cloth, or else it had faded from some previous wear and tear. He went to the dealer with fire in his eyes. The dealer looked at the garment without surprise, and at the wearer with extreme wonder. " Vy, mine gootness!" he said, "you been wear de goat inde sun? You t'ink him maat of sheet-iron, hey?" ' THE friend of a man who went to the Black Hills from Detroit, a few weeks ago, to be scalped by the Indians, was a4 the postoffice yesterday, and a nuinbey of gentlemen extended their heartfelt sympathies. " I tell you, gentlemen," remarked one, "it's mighty tough to know that your friend has been scalped." "Well, yes," replied the friend, "though. when I think that Dan would have died in some Miot asylum anyhow, I don't fe.el quite so bad about it 1" -- Frc& % JVeu. , :. *• VON BOYIJB in in trouble about hard money. In a letter to the Washington Capital he says: " If you carry gold and silfer in your pockets around, dot makes a hole derein, you lose a quarter dollar dere out, and you den say sometings to your wife apout for why she don't keep de holes out of your pockets. Den she gets mad, und makes your head on de proomshtick, and you got to sphend anoder quarter dollar for shticking blas­ ter, also Mrs. Sootliin s Vinslow syrup, twenty-fife cents. Total, sefenty-five cents losed on acoount of hard money." Two LITERARY ladies were lately wit­ nesses in a trial. One of them, upon hearing the usual questions asked, " What is your name ? and " How old are you ?" turned to her companion and said: " I do not like to tell my age; not that I have any objection to its being known, but don't want it published in all the newspapers." " Well," said the witty Mrs. S-----, "I will tell you how to avoid it. You have heard the objec­ tion to all hearsay evidence; tell them you don't remember when you were born, and all you know of it is by hear­ say." The ruse took, and the question was not pressed. Shaving by the Acre. It is recorded that a gentleman resid­ ing in one of the large towns of Eng­ land, whose face exceeded the ordinary dimensions, was waited on by the barber every day for twenty-one years without coming to a settlement. The barber, thinking it about time to settle, present­ ed his bill, in which he charged a penny a day, amounting in all to £3116s 9d. The gentleman, supposing too much charged, refused to pay the amount, but agreed to a proposal of the barber to pay at the rate of £200 an acre. The premises were accordingly measured, and the result was that the shaving bill was increased to £73 8s 8d. A CHINAMAN spoke all the English he knew, in Indianapolis, the other day, and was fined $7 for profanity. vote. 2. The men' who, being regularly nominated, sought to be re-elected to a second term, ilioy bsing in office, and failed. They are: John Adams, John Quincy Adams, and Martin Van Buren, 3. The men who, being in office, to which they had been regularly chosen, sought nominations for second terms, and failed to get them. They are; Japes K. Polk, Franklin Pierce, and James Buchanan. 4. lhe men who had succeeded to the Presidency because of the deaths of ^Presidents, they having been chosen to the Vice Presidency, and who sought nominations, with the view of being regularly elected. They are: John Tyler, Millard Fillmore, and Andrew Johnson. * 5. The men who received electoral votes for the office, but who had not been formally nominated for the Presi­ dency. They are, Thomas Pinckney, George Clinton, John Floyd, and Willie P. Mangum. 6. The men who were mentioned in connection with the regular Presidential nomination, but never received it. They are--at least in part--John Jay, Daniel D. Tompkms, John C. Calhoun, Wili- . iam Gaston of North Carolina, John. Armstrong, William Pinckney, William Lowndes, William Smith of South Caro­ lina, John McLean, Richard Rush, Louis McLane, Levi Woodbury, John M. Clayton, Richard M. Johnson, Rear- Admiral Charles Stewart, Reverdy John­ son, Chester Ashley of Arkansas, Salmon P. Chase, Roger B. Taney, Thomas H. Benton, William O. Butler, William L. Marcy, Thomas Corwin, John J. Crit­ tenden, Jefferson Davis, Thomas H. Seymour, James Guthrie, William R. King, Cassius M. Clay, William H. Sew­ ard, John A. Dix, Henry Wilson, R. M. T. Hunter, George M. Dallas, Albert H. Tracy of New York, Theodore Freling- i u/sen, Gen, Hancock, George EL Pen­ dleton, Associate Justice Davis, Charles F. Adams, Edward Bates, Green Clay Smith, Gen. Sherman, and Wendell Phillips. With two or three exceptions, the persons here named were "talked of " in connection with the Presidential nomination before the open beginning of the present contest, We do not make a list of the present aspirants, the names of whom are printed every week in most of the newspapers, or occur daily in com­ mon conversation. 7. It only remains to mention that Aajron Burr forms a class apart from other disappointed aspirants, as he was voted for in the House of Representa­ tives for the Presidency, for which office he had not been nominated. --lioxton Journal. Marvelous Progress of Civilisation in Japan. The rapidity with which tke Japanese are assimilating the habits and science of the West is one of the greatest mar­ vels of the age. Civilization, until now, has always taken the opposite course to that of the sun, and the change going on in these far eastern islands is not mere external imitation, but an absolute internal transformation. A few years ago an Imperial College of Engineering was established in the principal island, with the view of educating native engi­ neers for the Department of Public iVorks. [Admission is obtained by com­ petitive e*£®wation. the cours^ of in­ struction is very complete, and the col­ lege is at present under the management of English professors, the English lan­ guage having apparently been adopted as the scientific tongue. In connection with this institution there axe well-fitted the Whig nomination, and so had Mr. laboratories and workshops of various Webster, who was a kind of a candidate, but who died a few days before the election was held. The election of 1856, the first in which the Republican partly figured, was fought between Mr. Buchanan and Col. Fremont, while Mr. Fillmorfe ran as the Know-Nothing candidate. Col. Fremont was a new aspirant, but Mr. Buchanan long had Sought a nomina­ tion, and Mr. Fillmore was an old seeker. Mr. Seward had sought the Republican nomination, and was offend­ ed because he had failed to get it; and so, it was reported, was tbe case with Judge McLean, who had been after a nomination for years. Mr. Douglas, who had been in the field for some time, desired the Democratic nomina­ tion. The campaign of 1860, which was the overture to the civil war, had an abund­ ance of Presidential candidates--Abra­ ham Lincoln, John C. Breckinridge, John Bell and Stephen A. Douglas. That of 1864 was not so crowded, and Mr. Lincoln was re-elected. Chief Jus­ tice Chase desired to have the Republi­ can nomination, but he failed to get it, as Mr. Seward had failed in 1860. General Fremont continued his aspira­ tions, and was nominated for the Presi­ dency by a few men, who called them­ selves Radicals; but he soon left the field. General McClellan was supported by title Democrats, but he succeeded on­ ly in being placed high among the disappointed seekers of the Presi­ dency. In 1868 the number of the disappointed was large. Chief Justice Chase sought the Democratic nomination, and so did President Johnson--both in vain. Mr. Pendleton also failed to get it. Horatio Seymour got it and was defeated. The Republicans were united in support of Gen. Grant. Mr. Greeley--a good man nr>d deserving a better fate---was the "great disappointed" of 1872, because kinds. The special courses are civil and mechanical engineering, telegraphy, ar­ chitecture, practical chemistry, and me­ tallurgy. The number of students at the close of last year was 272. Ener­ getic measures 6re being adopted by the Government for introducing the im­ proved manufacture of iron into the country. With this view, two oharcoal blast furnaces and ether works are in course of erection, and it is expected that by the close of the present year twelve puddling and seven reheating furnaces, forge train, plate, rail, bar, guide and mills, with steam hammers, four different shears, saws, lathes, cranes, and all other necessary appli­ ances of the most modern construction, will be in operation. ChaslBg a Fox One Hundred Miles. g ^ Pointer has on© of the best packs of hounds to be found in the State. Their progenitors were purchased in England for $200. During the week they caught five red foxesintiie vicimty of Thompson's Station. One of the foxes, Capt. Pointer says, was chased 100 miles, according to a close calcular tion made by one of the neighbors, and was so run down at the close of the one hundredth mile that one of the hunts men dismounted from his horse, caught the fox by the tail, and cmiy had time to stamp at its head once, when the first hound came up and finished Reynard.-- Nashville American. 1m 1849 Prince Torlonia, the Roman banker, advanced 200,000 francs to a Neapolitan on a diamond so large and limpid and piercing in the polish of its many faces that none but the keenest connoisseur could distinguish it from the famous "Regent." At the Hotel Drouot,in Paris, the self-same "prec­ ious stone" was sold early in April of this year for twenty franos fifty centimes, or about $4.