The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

» «A»»EWFI AT THB.DHSBM T A ISLE. 4ood awiaw, vAm cwfnUr headed aft hoa% Will carry politeness wherever you roan. Oase art at a *n"*> nor at any eoe'a p'ata. Star buoriably bold up four knife and ton straight. Wrbr-r at tbe table to mimic the ape, Kor ajprtad oat your limbs u> an twoaaaely **ya. Beat not jrrmr elbowa, nor knife or npnon Hek, -• Mar finger the forelock, nor use a tooth-pick, £"' ,• Opetli never of sldtneac, nor death of a friend. Kor aauceous noeU'iuna, tal dinner hkali awd.^ Beware, when at box*, or abroad, of the faa]{| v Of thrusting your kuiie in the batter or nil, ' Btnaek not with your Up*, neither glower sronad, Hor swallow your Cviffie with gurgling sound. ' One ah^n'd never be ipji'ty, wherever one goeik Ofliemwiug and hawking and blowing the Mf* •*» • Baled not an unsavory dish to the noea, *' Kor turn it to Man it suspiciously close. • If knife, fork,-or spoon chance to M to I Defer not to wipe, and unsullied teaton. Cnt thin and email eliees; but wit with a font £, 'And turn from the talrte when drawing a cork# The carver, when carving and eenring the roea|| - Should tteern it unskillful to rise Iroui 1MS Beat. When'butter is furnished with inpipid h i it unnoticed, affecting no care. i carving the oouree, distribute the beat To mbon) and aagaa, or some honored gueat Let gourmands and gluttons beware of the ata Of ending tlieir courses ere other* begin. BDnce not between courses, when you 've had And turn trom the table to stifle a cough. . < flip not your hoi eoffea, nor blow your, hat Nor guip them ua tasted, nor surlily eat. Good iQannen at dinner forbid ooe to Isoft At tatter*, or papers, or read lu a book. Be oiieerful, feel grateful •whenever your food _ la wfcol&some and fragrant, all steaming and good* Whan one cannot eat what is dry aa a stick, True etiquette warrants the plea, •* I am aidk f When leaving, untimely, aay* 44 WtD yon ezewat* Thus honor your manners, nor credit abuse. Back not your aoup with a bubbling eound, Dor heedlessly spatter the gravy around. BneircUng the table, eay something; yet fear To speak in a whisper what others may hear. flay something; yet, after another's Vfcgun, Forbear interrupting before he is dona. flay something, if naught but" This sugar la a a sat," Or ooffee is fragrant, or juicy the meat. lEBABK's WIFE. t)f course every one knows the mer- OMtile house of Demark & Co. SiDgle- mfum and I were the Co., and Demark-- well, of course, he was Demark. / Demark and Singlemann had roomed together when they were boys and young men. Then Demark got mar­ ried, and Singlemaan took the rooms he has now. " Singlemann, old fellow," I said, when we «at alone in the counting-room after the store was closed on Cimstmas eve, "I have a turkey which I want help on to-morrow. Come down to din- "Too late, my boy; I jnat promised Demark to go up with him to-morrow. His wife particularly requested it, and aoI dou't like to refuse, von know." Oh, of course not. Yeiy nioe little WCHnan, Demark's wife is." ,T What!" said Singlemann, so fiercely And sliarply that I was quite startled. " I said Mm. Demark was rather a line tody." 44Certainly! certainly!" said Single­ mann, looking somewhat abashed. Tlien, after a pause, he said : 111 didn't exactly catch what you said jBtpfirst." . The fire was slowly smoldering in the j grate, and the shutters were closed. I Kkod up the coals and remarked that it )ked a little like M OW outside. " I always feel a little queer and ner­ vous cat Christmas eve," said Single­ mann, evidently thinking about his ab­ rupt ejaculation a few minutes before, and not heeding what I said; "yon mnstn'tfmind ma" *'What's the matter. Singlemann?' «fdL f Didn't I ever tell you about it?" "#fe- ' "'If I hadn't Htea Ilka m fori," he replied harshly, spetking more to him­ self than to me, "k might have been different now." ' I presumed that it would and so didn't Mbtradict him. " 1 thought you knew how near I catne to getting married once," he said, with an attempt at a laugh. The laugh wouldn't come, and so he took the poker from me and wengefully poked the lire. "When I used to clerk here, you know, Demark and I roomed away out Woodward avenue. I thought it to be nearly out in the interior of Michigan tfcfca, but it's different now. Every mprning as I came dojvn the avenue I m|it a young girL There were no street cars then, and, besides, if there had l>een--well, we practiced economy, you know--that's why we 1 warded away out then in the country--but that girl--T didn't notice her very much at first, and Ppmark, he never noticed her at alL We both came down together. Demark was always thinking of business; he w|ei--have a cigar? Listening is dry wfjrk; smoke and make it dryer." " Why, tJiuglcmaim, you know 1 never sftoke; go on." iu I told you I was queer to-niglit. E^d you ever notice how wrapped up Demark is in business ? Business will be the conversation over the turkey to­ morrow. I tell you, young men nowa­ days--" " How about the girl ?" *' Oh ! yes--she .^always dressed plain­ ly, but you ought to have seen her. I tell you, John, young ladies nowadays think of nothing but dress, and yet, ail their silks and feathers--" "I know; Solomon in all his glory Was not arrayed like your Woodward avenue belle--in plain clothes." He poked the fire for nearly two min- , ntea, and I began to fear that I had fig­ uratively pat my foot into it and lost my story. w "I think any one must have fallen in love with her, but I could never get De- > mark to see it. I never cared for any ; one l»efore or .since. I waa completely-- but what's the use of talking of tfcat ? I met her every morning. She alwaja looked straight ahead and never seemed to luiow that she passed the same two fellows every day. Where did she live ? What did she do? One night in Dfc- $einber as I came up late from the store I was astonished to see my young lady-- ~ "" her mine--standing at a desk in a -room. Her hat and cloak were, on the desk beside her and she wasx jjfly just re «dy to leave. The love- little frown was on her brow, and figures evidently wouldn't add up L The lamp-light shone on her and it never looked so handsome I stood before tbe window and gazed there in rapt admiration, and, I may say, adoration. I tell you, John, 1 d&ft believe that people nowadays know Jrfiat it' is---" •* *s Well, did sheoome out?" f, "OI course, ahe did," said Sinflto- g(>wy> a little crossly, "and equally of 5>uwe I followed her at a distance, and •aw where she lived. She walked Jtraighfr on and did not seem a bit ffrAV She seemed to set her lips closely together, draw her doak around her and wa ked swiftly to her destina­ tion. Several times I determined to speak to her, but had neither courage nor excuse. * Demark,' said I, when I reached my room, 'wake up,' and I "Singlemann," said I, "I am not Demark. There is no use, in shaking me." " I beg your pardon." continued Sin­ glemann, 'releasing his grip on my shoulder. "I don't think you care much about what I am saving, though. What interest can you have--" ** Now don't fly off on a tangent in that manner. Of course I want to know how it turned out. What did yon say to Demark ?" "Nothing that night. Ton can't awaken Demark when he once gets to sleep. Why, one time when we were boarding down on Jefferson avenue a fire broke out about 2 o'clock in the morn­ ing. and I--" "O, yes; next morning I unfolded my plan to Demark. It was the day before Christmas. I told him all about my discovery of where she waa em­ ployed. Now,' saM I, 'she's anxious to get the accounts straightened out be­ fore the end of the year.' "'Evidently," says Demark. "4 Well, very likely she'll be there late to-night; now we'll follow her-- yon on the opposite side of the street she is, and you cross over and speak to her and try to make her take your arm, then slie'li scream and I'll rush up and rescue her, and of course, see her home and get acquainted." " Uatiier an ancient device," I re­ marked. •* • • • "Perhaps it is now/' said Single­ mann, in an irritated manner. "Young men of the present day are up to almost anything, but I never heard of it before; of course, if, was silly--E guess I know ' that without being told of it, but nowa­ days people think--" "No they don't, Singlemann; go aa with what 3 ou were saying. Demaxfc consented, cf course ? " " No, he didn't; that is, not at first. He got indignant at having all the dis­ grace of the operation and none of the jileasure, but I explained to him that he didn't care a cent for the girl, while I was madly in love with her, and, conjur­ ing him by all the ties of friendship, he at last reluctantly consented. You see, Demark never cared anything about girls, or such as that; he was all busi­ ness. I have often said to him, joking­ ly, of course, that I oelierved that if " "Singlemann, go on with that diabol­ ical plot of yours, and never mind De- mark. I know him well enough." > " Of course you do. Well, all the way down to the store where she worked Demark was saying what a mean thing it was for two young men to conspire to frighten the hfe out of a girl on the streets of a city. We got there at last, and she was at her desk. Ah ! John, when I picture how she stood there-- but that's no matter. I thought she would never come out--it seemed ages. I never could have stood it, only it kept all my attention getting Demark to atick to his promise, for he wanted to back out now that we were at the spot. You know Demark is the vei-y soul .of honor. Why, when Beat & Embezzle failed, you know, we needn't have paid a cent, for they held n» would invariably molt in the disoharga of both of us. " I left the cell as dejected as Demark was, and didn't know what to do. "I resolved to do an act of justice, however, and accordingly went direct to the residence Of the \oung lady and rapped on the door--there was no beM* " I had no sooner done so than I re« membered that I didn't even know what name to ask for. However, the young lady herself epened the door and put an end to my embarrassment on this score, but increased my embarrassment on a thousaud otimers. " I told the whole story, puttiDg tliO blame exactly where it belonged. She never said a word during the recital, but sat there with that straight-ahead look in her eyes, and I half donbtecj whether she paid any attention to what I said. " She bowed me out without a word, and I went home more depressed than ever. After thinking the matter over I resolved to go to our employer and lay the whole case before him, in spite of what Dtnmark had said, and, by assuming the whuie blame, as of oourse I ought to do, and accepting my discharge, he might get Demark out and keep him iu his employ. It was no fun to lose a good place then, I can tell you ; nowa­ days people change around more. There's that young Smyth who kept ac­ counts for us last year, I hear he's in San Francisco, and I guess doing first- rate. I told Smyth when he left that "Never mind Smyth," said I; "did ,your employer get Demark out t' " As I was saying, I started down to see him when I met Demark himself. * Why, how did you get out ?'" " Oh," said Demark, glum as an oys­ ter, " Pierce, where the girl keeps books, came down and the complaint was withdrawn." " That was all," said Singlemann, with a sigh. " But the giri," said L Did you ever know what her name was? Did you ever see her again ? " " Well, yes." said Singlemann, poking up the now-dead fire. " She's Mrs. De- mark. I take my Christmasdinncr with them to-morrow. "Well, but about this girW" " Singlemann, do you remember that I know the whole particulars of that failure'" "Certainly. That's a fact. I fovgot that. Well, Demark wanted to go home again, and begged me to release him from his promise, but I wouldn't, wid he stuck to his contract like a man--he al­ ways does, you know. Well, just as the City Hall l>ell struck 11--" "Oh, oh ! Singlemann--k^ep straight now. Why, man, the City Hall was not built then." "That's BO--I am telling a straight story for all that slip. Some bell struck 11. I had my face.pressed against the pane, but where she could not see me, and as the hour was tolled she shut up the heavy ledger, and I heard her say, 4 Only an hour to Christmas,' and she smiled. John, Bhe looked divinely-- like an angel--only an pels don't keep 'tooks, exceut the recording angel. But just then Demark began begging off again. She came out, and, as before, walked rapidly away." "' Now,' I wliisp^red to Demark, 're­ member your promise.' " He crossed the street without a word, a:jd I followed the fcirl. Demark acted his part like a man, or a villain, rather. Ge crossed back again, and, coming up to her, said: " ' Madam, allow me to Bee you home,' and offered his arm. " My heart b<>at wildly,but I prepared for a rush on Demark. " She didn't scream--she hurriedly looked up and down the road and saw apparently she was alone with this man. I could see by the light of the lamp that her face was deadly pale, but, in a calm voice ^the sweetest voice I ever heard) she said: "'You may walk beside me if you will.' " Demark would rather have taken my knock-down than that, and looked ex­ ceedingly sheepish as be walked along with her, and I followed behind, not knowing what to do, as that waa a totally unexpected turn in the affair. " Thus did the strange trio proceed for abont a quarter of a mile, when sudden­ ly a policeman and a lantern loomed up from a doorway he was examining. Like an arrow she sprang from Demark's side and grasped t're astonished police­ man by the arm with both hands, j "J Sir, sir 1' she cried, now in the wildest excitement, which showed. how I pent-up her fear had been before, ' that 1 man has insulted me, when he thought J no one was near--arrest him,' and her eyes fairly blazed with scorn as she Doiuted at Demark. "' Madame,' said my unfortunate friend, ' if you ' " 1 Don't speak to me, vou--vou cow-A » «™i:_.1 A -- HOUSEHOLD HELPS. COOKIES.--One cup of sugar, one of syrup, one of shortening, half cup of hot water, pinch of salt, half teaspoonful of soda; bake quickly. CHOCOLATATE KISSES.--One ounce of sugar, two ounces of chocolate pounded together and finely sifted; mix whites of eggs well beaten to a froth; drop on but­ tered paper and bake slowly. GOLD CAKE.--The yolks of eight eggs, two cups of brown sugar, one cup of butter, half cup of sweet milk, three cups of flour, one teaspoonful of baking powder: flavor with orange extraots. TOFFEE.--Quarter pound of butter; when melted put in one pound of brown sugar; l>oil and stir fifteen minutes; put in a spoonful of ground ginger, boil and stir again. Pour into buttered tins. SILVER OAKS.--The whites of eight eggs, two cups of white sugar, half enp of butter, half cup of sweet milk, three cups of flour, one teaspoonful of baking powder; flavor with extract of almond. OLD-FASHIONED MOLASSKS CANDY.-- One quart of the best New Orleans molasses, and a piece of butter half the size of a hen's e^g. When it will snap in water it is sufficiently done; stir in a little soda to whiten it; pour into but­ tered dishes, and when cool enough poll until white. COCOANUT CAKE.--One pound of white BUgar, half pound of butter, the yolks of five eggs beaten up together; beat the whites to a stiff froth; mix three-fourths of a pound of flour, two teaspoonfuls of baking-powder, and grate one good-sized cocoanut; mix together with one cup of milk. Add the cocoanut just before baking. • CITBOX CAKE.--One cup of butter, two of sugar, three of flour, ft»ur eggs, one cup of milk, one teaspoonful of soda, two of cream tartar, and a pinch of salt. Make the cake as above, put in the pan, cut the citron thin and put in the cake endways; this will prevent the citron from falling to the bottom of the pan. SNOW CREAM.--Allow two tablespoon- fuls of fine white sugar and two of rich, sweet cream to each person for whom you are making the desert. Then get a quantity of fine, dry snow and stir in; after waiting a minute stir in more-- adding enough to make it of sufficient stiffness. Flavor to suit the taste. It does not require more than two minutes to make, and should not be made until needed, as it soon melts. BROLLED BEEFSTEAK.--To cook a good, juicy beefsteak, never pound it, but slash it several times across each way; have a nice, bright fire and broil as quickly as possible, without burning; if the coals blaze from the drippings, sprinkle on a little salt, which will in­ stantly extinguish the flames. Steak should lie turned constantly while broil­ ing, ayd to be rare should not cook over three minutes; butter and suit afttfr taking rip. This should be served very hot. TABT CRUST.--One cup of lard, one- half teaspoonful of salt, the white of an OUR YOUNG FOLKS. T\f Vha lUkma aund tli* Everyday, Every day, f . ? ' £top two Bfji at my door; (hey a«f To me or mine few w«)4a polite, l)ut early at miming, «ariy at n)|(pA, ?n»ey'ra#mre to come, lw it Tnir or wt Aa we mm In ouro to ri*e an<l wt • JTor one the little girl a<>ld-I»o4-.kB While tb» other one aha fairly li»t«a, * The om that aba la glad to aee la «sH and homely aa r.a can be; jAiid mo covered cart !•;< which he rldaa Hug lattere painted upon the cidea-- ** 51"' E!<*in !>al»y," I think it in-- And Oold-Iiockn never i« known tombs . ' Hi* paa»« at tiie gate; but there she •tan* With Iter ailver oup in her chubby handa. * Thia little ona, > v When llit- day ie done, H«a a habit of winhing it Jurt tx-gun. But tho Rhmlowy sandman softly knocka, 1 And whiepcin, "Bed-time, lit'leOold-locksl* , Then ecattors his <lunt in her tired eyea trill Bhe rubs (hem drowrily and Highs, - A"d drops on her arm her heavy head, • Unwilling an ever to go to bed. Ah, wait, my dear! And year by year Will d|«ad of the eendman disappear. He'll be slower to come, and lofh to atay. And ready at nothtnt? to flee away. I'm euro'no Priiicc^vitU ooach nrid four, Who would come in royal Htate to my door, Were bail so welouuta aa bim who knocks, And whi«pens " Bed-time, Ottla Oold-LooWt* --Toutk't Companion. About Johnny slyboots. His name was Johnny Jones, hut the !)bys in the neighborhood all called hiem Johnny Slyboots, because he was always getting into mischief, and was so sly about it that it wasn't often, that he got found out. " I just wish he'd get oome up •with some time," said Joe Lane to another of "the boys." " He's always doing mean things, and, nine times out of ten, tve get biamed for them," Joe was right about this. The boys knew how mischievous Johnny was, bnt other people did not. Somebody must do the mischief, the grown peoplo argued, and, as the other boys_ were often caiight in mischief-do- ing, it was quite likely they were the anthora of much of the mischief at which no one was canght. As this mischief was generally of a mean, low-lived kind, and Johnny was --nine times out of ten--the doer of it, the other boys were out of patience with having it laid to them. 80 it was not to be wondered at that they wished Johnny might get caught at some of hie mis­ chief-making. One day he was going by old Widow Lurabee's. Aunt Sophrony, as every­ body called her, was a verv poor, hard­ working old woman, with a crippled grandchild dependent upon her. She was always at work, when there was anything to do, but, work as best she could, it was but a poor living that she succeeded in getting. In summer, she raised vegetables and sold them in the village. In her garden she had some grape-vines, and from these she sold a few dollars' worth of fruit in the fall. "What they brought her in was but a small amount, but to her it seemed considerable, and to have gone without it would have deprived her of many little comforts and necessaries. On thip morning, when Johnny was going by her house, he chanced to catch sight of these grapes, hanging in great purple, luscious-looking clusters on the vines. " I like grapes," said Johnny Slyboots to himself. " They're awful good--I wish I had some 1" Then he crept up to the fence and took a survey of the garden and the grape-vines. " I bleeve 111 come here to-night and get some," he said. "I'll bring a big basket along and Til fill it with 'em. I can hide it som'ers about the barn, and I oan have grapes tsteat s'long'* I must 'em. I'll do it 1" Now, most lx>ys would have gone to some of their boy friends and got them to join them on the expedition he had planned, but that wasn t the way with Johnny Slyboots. He didn't dare to hint about it to any­ body, for he knew that there wasn't a boy in the neighborhood, excepting him­ self, that was mean enough to steal from such a poor old woman»as Aunt Sophrony was. They might get into "scrapes*' that were anything but creditable; but not one of them would be guilty of what he planned to do. He waited until everybody had gone to bed. , Then he got up, dressed himself, orawled out of his bedroom window, ana taking the big basket that he had hid under the currant bushes, so that it would be ready for use when needed, he set off on his thieving trip. , He climbed over the fence and crept slyly toward the grape-vines. When he got to them he set down his basket and listened. There wasn't a sound to oe heard about the house, so he fell to work. He out off the bunches with his knife, and laid them down carefully in the bas­ ket, taking pains to pack them snugly, so that the basket would hold as many as possible. He meant to have all he could take away, and what he could eat beside. Now, it would have been a very mean thing to do, if any boy had stolen only what he wanted to eat. But Johnny had no notion of stopping there. He didn't care if Aunt Sophrony was poor. He lik^d grapes, and here was a chance egg, one-quarter teaspoonful of cream getting enough to last him for a long tartar, one tablespoonful of sugar, one- eighth teaspoonful of saleratus, three tatdespoonfula of ice-water; Hour to roll; inix lard with one cup of flour; add salt, sugar and creriin tartar; beat egg; mix with water and saleratus, all together; keep the dough cold; add flour to roll, one-quarter of an inch thick. The above makes eighteen tarts. PLUM PUDDING.--One pound of raisins, one of currants, one of suet chopped flue, and add tlfree-quarters of a pound of stale bread crumbs, one-quarter pound of flour, one-quarter pound of brown su­ gar, rind of one lemou (chopped thin), one-half nutmeg grated, five eggs, one- half pound mixed candied peel, one-half pint of brandy; mix well the c.lry ingredi nrd,'she replied contemptuously. Then ' the egpjs with the brandy; enddciily and without a wo^d Blio turned and walked rap:dly away. j "The policeman placed his hand on I Demark's shoulder. Demark had l»een standing there transfixed, with his eyes following tho retreating figure of the girl. He seemed to wake up, and flunp the hand of the policeman from his shoulder. " ' Oome my man, none *0 that,' the officer, "•Keep your hands from me,'cried ^Demark. " The po'icpman drew his club and graf-ped Demark again, and I sprang to the rescue of my friend, but somehow 1 ran cgainst that club, and so if you want the details of that scuffle you must ask Demark or hunt up that policeman. " Demark saw Ghri«tmas morning dawn through the bars of the lock-up. "I had an interview with him, and found him very much depressed. He didn't give a cent, lie said, about the arrest, but the meanness of the action waa what hurt him. I proposed to see our employer and haTO him go Demark's bail, or -fee have the affair hushed up, if possible ̂ but Demark positively for­ bade any such proceeding; besides, it pour this over tho other things and thor­ oughly mix; to be boiled in a basin or mold, for six hours at the time of mak­ ing, and six hours when wanted for 113C. ICING FOB CAKES.--Whites of four eggs, one pound of pulverized BUgar, with lemon; break the whites into a broad, cool, clean dish; throw a small handful of sugar upon them and be­ gin to whip it in with long, even strokes of the beater. A few minutes later throw in more sugar and keep add­ ing it at intervals until it is all used up. Beat until the icing is of a smooth, fine, and firm texture; if not stiff enough, put iu more sugar; use at least a quarter of a pound of sugar for each egg. To spread it, use a broad-bladea knife dipped in cold water. Adulterations of Food. The liberty guaranteed by this great Republic is a fine subject for a Fourth of July oration, but when that liberty licenses fraud, and permits imposition on the people, alike injurious to*health and dangerous to life, it reaches - the precincts of abuse, aud should receive a prompt and vigorous oheak. --Peoria Freeman. time, without their costing him any­ thing. . He was such a fetingy, miserly fellow that 1 think the fact that ho was getting something that cost nothing, in money value, would have indueed him to steal green persimmons. And, too, there was something about this way of getting what did not belong to him that seemed shai'p and cunning. When he had filled his basket, he be­ gan eating the fruit from the vines. He ate as long/as he could swallow, then he Shouldered his basket and started for the road. About half-way between the grape­ vines and the road were two hives of bees. Johnny Slyboots knew they were there, but he had forgotten about them. He ran against one and fell over it, hoad first, into the other hive, upsetting it, and spilling his grapes. The bees roared angrily, and before he could get to his feet a dozen of them had stung him about his head. He grabbed his basket and made a dash lor the fence. The pain of 'the stings was so intense that he could sciuoeiy toll what he was doing or where he was going. He caught his chin on the clothes-line, and was jerked back­ ward, f<* nor that his h*»ad and lv»dv were on the point of coming apart. Then he caught his feet in some potato-vines and fell into a gooseberry bush, scratch­ ing his handa terribly. ^ " Wliat'll I do if the bee-stings make fie swell up ?" groaned Johnny. " Of course everyl>ody'll know it was me that undertook to stetfl the grapes, and father 11 thrash me within an inch of my life. Dear me! I am going to swell up, sure's the world, for l ean just open my left eye, and that's all. I've got mvfoot into it this time." Jolujuy Slyboots was right He slept not a wink that night on account of the painK Mid when .morning came one eye Was swollen sum, ana ms nose was aDoftt the size and shitoe of a pear, while his chesk looked asJU he might have a good- sized potato inside of it. " For the land's sake I" exclaimed his mother, when he came down stairs to breakfast. " What on earth is the mat­ ter with you, Johnny?" "Got stung," answered Johnny, gruf­ fly. " Hornet's nest in the barn. "Why, when did it happen?" in­ quired his mother. " Ytmr face wasn't swelled last night, and you haven't been out this morning." ' " I didn't go to bed till after you did," answered Johnny, wishing she wouldn't ask any questions. About the middle of the forenoon his father came back from the village, whither he had gone after breakfast. "I'd lite to see you out at the barn for a»fcw minutes, ' he said to Johnny. Johnny began to shake in his boohs. He knew well enough what was coming. He dared not disobey, so he followed his father out with the air of a martyr about to be burnt at the stake. "I guess you found your hornets in Aunt 'Phrony Larrabee's garden, c^da't you ? " asked Johnny's father. " Y--e--es," admitted Johnny. "So you thought you'd *teal her grapes, eh ? " questioned his tormentor. " But I didn't steal only what I ate up," said Johnny. " I lefUall the rest." " Yes--because you couldn't get away with 'em," said his father. "I'm ashamed of you--more so than if you'd been robbing hen-roosts. I've tried to do my duty by you, and now it's my duty to give you a good dreading down. Go to the apple-tree in the pasture and cut me a good switch--a good one, mind! If it isn't, I'll cut two, myself, and you know what kind I get 1" So Johnny had to undergo the ex­ quisite torture of .cutting a tough switch, knowing it was to be used on himself. He lonjged to select a poor one, but he didn't dare to. "Stand up there, now," said his father. And Johnny "stood up," and took his " dressing down" with the best grace possible. He knew it wouldn't do to " make a fuss," for whenho did that his father always switched him until he was quiet. "Now see if you'll steal anybody's grapes," said Mr. Jones. "You wonl get off so easy next time." Easy ! Johnny rubbed his legs and wondered what kind of an idea his father had of a hard whipping if he called that an easy one. Of course all the boys were glad when they "found out how Johnnv Slyboots had been " oome up" with, and they were more delighted than ever when they heard that his father made him carry all the money he had saved for Christmas to Aunt Sophrony, to pay for the mischief he had don1e.-- £6en E. Jtex/ord. Concerning Bedrooms. A physician was called to presoribe for a young lady who lives in one of the most charming villas in Learnedville. "Nothing the matter with her," she declared, "nothing but terrible head­ aches." Every morning she waked with a headache and it lasted nearly half the day. It had been going on for months --ever since they moved into their new house. The doctor tried all the old remedies and they all failed. Riding and archery were faithfully tested, study and practice were cheerfully given up. Nothing did any good. " Will you let me see your bedroom?" asked the doctor one day, and he was shown up into the prettiest little nest imaginable. Nothing wrong about the ventilation. The windows were high and broad, and were left open every night, tbe patient said. The bed stood in one corner against the wall. " How do you sleep ? " said the doc­ tor. " On my right side, at the back of the bed, with my face to the wall. Lou likes the front best." " The dickens she does I says the doctor, " So do L Will you do me the favor to wheel that bed into the middle of the room and sleep so for a week ? Then let me know about the headache." Doctors are so absurd ? The middle of the room, indeed ! And there were the windows on one side, and the two doors on the two other sides, and the mantel with its Macrame lambrequin on the fourth side. There was no place for the bed but just where it stood, in the corner. "Never mind! Sacrifice your lam­ brequin," urged the doctor--"just for a week you know." The lambrequin was sacrificed, the bed moved where it had free air on both sides, and the headaches disappeared. It may be only an dxceptionaJly del­ icate system that would be induced to actual headache by breathing all night the reflected air from a wall. Yet pos­ sibly some of the morning dullness we know of may be traceable to a like cause. At any rate, plenty of breathing space around a lied can only be au advautage to everybody. v Profits of the Tnrf. Outsiders will gaze wfth longing and melancholy eyes at the catalogue of profits earned during the past season by tlija giants of the turf. The £10,061 net­ ted by Lord Falmouth during a twelve months' campaign must represent jyvery satisfactory dividend; but, large as it is, it is considerably below his average for the last six years. During that period Lord Falmouth's total winnings in stakes amounted to £142,860. His worst year was in 187G when he only won £1,060; his best was 1878, when his winnings rose as high as £37,681. Count de Lagrange, who sat at the top of the tree in 1879 with £25,661, has to content himself in 1880 with only £6,722. A still more marked reverse of fortune has waited on the Duke of Hamilton and Mr. Houldsworth. Both finished 1879 with upward of £10,000 to their credit In 1880 the Duke of Hamilton's winnings have sunk as low as £474, while Mr. Houldsworth has only won a solitary event worth £122. These are known re­ turns. The profits and the losses of betting remain an unknown quantity. Of the sires of the winning horses Her­ mit heads the list with twenty-three win­ ners, wholanded stakes valued at £29,107. Last year the Hermit stock only won £7,577. Englishmen are so accustomed to ignore the American turf that it will surprise many readers to know that last season a single stable, that of Messrs. Dwyer, landed stakes of the value of £15,577, and even then did not take the first place among the American winners of 1830.--Pall Mall Gazette. AGRICULTURAL VOTES. Destroying the Human Stomach. The manufacture of cheap candies from white earth, or terra alba, mixed with a little sugar <md glucose, is carried on extensively in New York. A census taker, who investigated the confectionery business, reports that Beventy-five per cent, of some candies is composed of these substances, and some candy, notably '*gum drops," contains still less sugar. What is called a fine brand of castile soap has been found to be com­ posed chiefly of this white earth and grease.--Boaton Journal Tmnus is as much nourishment in one bushel of beans as In five bushels of potatoes. THE fodder from an acre of corn which yields fifty bushels is equal in Talue to # ton of Kay. PARAFFINS oil on whetstones is superior to any other liquid, and will keep the stone in better order. HAMBM oil made of one gallon of neat's-foot oil, with four ounces of lamp black, well mixed, is simple and effective. THE draining of land promotes warmth because it diminishes evaporation, and thus less heat is abstracted from the earth. MR. MOORS, DeKalb County, Ind., says that he finds that equal parts of air-slacked lime and salt will cure foot rot in sheep, one or two applications be­ ing sufficient. A MISSISSIPI farmer dashes cold water into the ears of choking cattle. This causes the animal to shake its head vio­ lently, and the muscular action dislodges the obstruction. A LADY says that to kill insects she uses one teaspoonful of kerosene to a gallon of wat^r, and sprinkles it on the plants with a hand broom. It destroys green flies and other pests. WILD VINES ON OLD BUDDINGS.--Out­ buildings of all kinds, that have become dilapidated through time or by exposure to storms, may become objects of beauty by traiuuig wild vines, such as woodbine, wild grape or forest ivy upon them. These vines spread very rapidly from their lateral branches, or will increase to an astonishing extent by cutting or layer­ ing. The picturesque beauty of many of the rural villages in Europe is almost entirely owing to the vines that over­ spread the dwellings. Some of the more hardy grapes may be grown with profit over low buildings; anu at the same time they will give a pleasant appearance to that whioh before disfigured the premises. CHESTER WHITES.--This breed of swine which at one time was very popular in Minnesota originated ia Caester County, Pennsylvania. It seems that from their great size, and the extra quantity of food required to make them fat that the far­ mers are not raising so many of them aB formerly. An auimal of this breed, when old and well-fattened, frequently weighs from 500 to 800 pounds dressed, aud it is claimed that the flesh from the mam­ moth creatures is not as sweet when cooked as that of the Berkshire or Suf­ folk. Where a farmer has plenty of feed for hiB hogs, the Chester White is more ihan an average good breed, but they should never be suffered to become low in flesh as itoosts too much to recuperate them. WEARING OUT TOOLS.--Farm tools will rust out sooner than they will wear out. Many farmers injure their farm imple­ ments more by exposure to the weather than by the use on the farm. An imple­ ment which with good care would last twenty years, will, when exposed to the weather, become useless in five years or even less. A farm cart which, with good usage, would last almost a lifetime, will only a few years, when exposed to the weather. The explanation of the reason why farming does not pay with money is found in this neglect to take care of the farm tools. #A11 farm implements are costly, and the farmer who has to buy three or four times as many as his neighbors because he does not take care of them, of course will not find much profit iu farming. The same carelessness iu any other kiira of business, would in­ sure equally as disastrous results. CHANGING SEEDS.--The practice of frequently changing seed is now reoog- nized in many sections as essentially necessary to the production of a first rate crop. We all know that the prac­ tice of procuring seed potatoes from a distance, say twenty or thirty miles, and from a different kind of soil* has* a most marked influence upon the product While the rationale of this is not quite obvious, the fact is indisputable. The same result follows also in the manage­ ment of corn aud all other varieties of grain, as well as garden se6ds and vege­ table#; in short with the whole vegetable kingdom. Even wttere exchanges are made between farmers in the same neighborhood, aud where there is no very marked difference in the geological or mineral characteristics of the soU in the respective localities, the practice is conducive to improvement. Let those who have never tried the experiment do so. If they are at all skeptical, they can do so on a small scale at first and mark the t-esults, both as regards quantity and quality of crop. FARMS BETTER THAN BON-DS.--A young farmer of Montgomery County, Indiana, named J. A. Mount, makes an itemized showing for the year 1880. His sales from a two hundred-acre farm foot up 83,213.85, his outlay $1,408.90, giving him a net profit of $1,804.95, which on the capital invested in lands, stock and implements, shows a gain of fourteen per cent. An inspection of items shows that he has been lil>eral toward his preacher and to his family. He paid toward the support of the church $75, books, and papers and periodicals $23.70, Christmas presents $34. He began thir­ teen years asro a poor man, renting a farm, where the landlord had to stock it for him. He now owns two hundred acres, is out of debt, and proposes to tell readers of. the Indiana Farmer how he did it. His outlay for books and son'/ expanders about Christmas have widened out the man. It will be very useful for farmers to read, who claim that they can not afford to take a paper, and for those who take only one, and that tho weakest and cheapest they can find. Mr. Mount has read and thought more than the ordinary farmer, or he could ndtSmake so pood a showing for 188ft --Ituliana Farmer. PO^SH IN CORN COBS.--The willow contains a larger per cent, of potash than any other wood, but corn cobs contain twice as much as the willow. Since po­ tash is one of the articles the farmer pays much in labor or cash to got back into his soil, it is poor economy to leave cobs by the million scattered about over the farm where, instead of doing good, they kill out the grass and make an unsightly spot. Neatness and strict economy alike appeal to the farmer to see to the sav­ ing of the corn cobs and their return to the soil. This may be done by burning them on the soil, and it is to be recom­ mended where farmers feed hogs in their blue grass lots. Tho cobs should then be raked up and burned, and the ashes spread on wheat or prass lands will be found to repay well the labor. Then, too, the scattering corn cobs allows the grass to grow, and gives an air of neat­ ness that is commendable and profitable. When a feeding floor can be so arranged as that the cobs work off into pile and catch the droppings of the pigs, they become good absorlfents, aad when hauled to the corn lands will be found most valuable. We in the West have not yet learned the art of saving even the corn oobs. They are a few of the many wastes on our Western farms. It pays also to rake the corn cobs into winnows in the feed lots and hum them there. The pigs enjoy the ashes, es­ pecially if a sprinkling of salt be added. 5 GREAT FOB RHEUMATISM, Neuralg/q, Sciatica, Lumbago, Backache, Soreness of the Chest, Gout, Quinsy, Sore Throat, Swe/U ings and Sprains, Burnt ami Scalds, General Bodily Pains, Tooth, Ear and Headache, Frosted Feet and Ears, and all other Pains and Aches. No Profjarntion on earth eNjiialu St. J&coaa On as a aa/v, atrrr, simple and ch«ap Extamhl Remedy. A trial entails but the comparatively trifling outlay of i>0 Cents, and every one auflfertng- with pain can have cheap and peaitiva proof of.Ma claims. Directions la Eleven Langnagea. BOLD BT ALL DBUGGI8TS AUD DEALEB8 Iff MEDICINE. A. VOGELER ft CO., Baltimore, Md., TT.8.A* I ' irf* |jOSTEpER£ ^ STOMACH _ «ITTE&S No lime Should lie l ast* Jf stomach, Mver and bowels are nffected, to adopt the enre remedy, Hoetettor's Stonr'.cH Bitten. Diseases of tbe organs named be (jet others far mnre serious, and a delay is therefore hazardous. Dyspepsia, liver com­ plaint, ohllls and fever, esrly rheumatla twinges, kidney weakness, bring serious bodily trouble if trifled with. Lose no time in using this effective, safe and long-known med'-oine. BT For sale by all Druggists aad Dealers generally. AnKAVTIFri. COMPLEXION -Ctmcrt SNOW Dnor m ikes the «k;n bemtlfu!ly soit, white and smooth; removes Freckles, Suubu-n and Tan. For sale «f. diuait^tH' ev»r»where. £ • cents a bottle. H. PFISGS r, Louisville, Ky., General Depot. WOOL GROWtRS; your Adtlrcaa to Ladd Tobacco Comp'ft ST» Loins, nusorm, for their New Pamphlet, Riving full particulars of treat ment tor cure and prevention of Scub and Vermin* Published for Fit*:I lltS'l'ltlBUTiON. Stata where you saw tliis advaxtfseqtent. gJT FREE! Send ua y<»ur Addres* ON A POSTAL CARD, AJTD WE WILL SEND YOU OUR INTKRESTIIfO AND VALUABLE PAMPHLET FOR LADIES Oft "Shopping in Hew York'8 ENRICH BROTHERS, 285 to 295 Eighth Avenue, N-BrW YORK. HOP BITTERS. (A JktMUcino, not a Mak.) BOPS, BtJCIIC, MANDRAKE) DANDELION, AJTDTHX PCVRT and BEST MmraaiiQirAU- TlKSOr ALL OTBXB BlTTKaa. T H E Y C U R E Dlseasesof theStomach, Bowels, Plood, Liver, Kidneys,and Urinary Orjrans, Ner- Tousuess, SlrepleBsnoNB/Kid emenially Female Complalute. 81OOO IN COLO. TTIH be paid for a case they will not care c help, or for anythlnx tmimre or iujurloaa found iu tlicin. Ask your drupplat for lion Hitters and try tliein before you sleep. Take no otk«F. D I C.ls an absolute and irresistible rare for Drunkeuuesa, use of oplutn, toiMcco and narcotics. SEND FOB CIKCVLAB. All Rbore #nM hy drurrlita. Hop Bitten M lir. Cn., Hochfster, N. Y., 4 To?ont«, ( The Best Field EMIGRANTS. AN IMMENSE AREA OF KAIMfOAD AOTJ GOVERNMENT LAMM, OF GIIBAT FERTILITY, WITHIN EASY RKACII OF FER.HAN-.NT MARKET. AT EXTREME­ LY LOW PUIl'EM. !• nsw otterrd for sale la EASTERN OUEliOM and EASTERN WASH. 1NGTON TERRITORY. These tanria f«rera part ot the ireesit ®li-V." BELT of the Pacific H1«D«, aad aro wilhla aa nvriraxe distance of VMI to 800 lai aa froirs Portland, where eteaMfhitw and Min­ ing wtssela are dlrrrtlf loaded FOR ALL PA UTS a* THE W ORLD. GRAIN AT PORTLAND, OREISON. COM- NAMM A PRICE EQUAL TO THAT OB­ TAINED IN C.'HICAUO. The tarly evmptetion af the Northern Pm- vtfle M. M. is m»w mBtwred.. and truaiYtnti-ea to settlers cheap and quick antl yomi nmrkets both and U <st. Th» opeiilHf/ of thie iw otvrlntul line to thr ffct- oifie, together with the construction of the nrttrort, of TOO miles of railroad by the <K H. Jt If. C<k in the wileof th~ yreat ('omm'Ha mttd it* principal tributarim, re,.flei* c-Wata a rttpid increttae in tht twihie of tlw land* tsotr open to piirch<itte and prt--rmptUtn. Thcw is fwry of <m emrrmoMm movement of population to the Columbia Kiver repion in t-he immediate future, LAN DM MIIOW an AVERAGE YIELD of 40 BP8IIEM OF WHEAT HER ACKJL No Failure of t'ropa ever known. KAIl.-tOAO LANID8 offered at the aalforai rate of Hl.AO aa Acre. CLIMATE MILD *ND HEALTHY. Far pamphlet and mupn, dearrlptlve of eonntrr. no re*onr<-ea, climate, route of travel, ratea and (fall information, tiddreaa JL STOKES,, Gw'l Eaotorn Pass'r A<r*M« AS Clark Ml.. Ckica**, IU.