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* •^c^rnrg f lamdeata J. VAN 8LYKE. Ettw»4 PaMMfr. p-: If ctiENRT, 1*" . '• ^ ILLINOIS. THK Concord School of Philosophy is adjourned without deciding whether H man milking should prefer to have the jow kick him or the pail over. Demand an extra sassion. THK Shah of Persia had a very narrow escape recently from death while hunt­ ing, a tiger, after receiving the charge <of both barrels of the Shah's carbine, springing on him, but being killed by a lucky blow from a hunting knife. leaving real estate. She had one broth­ er living in the United States, and an­ other living in Great Britain. A ques­ tion was raised about the property and the law was looked up, and the fact was ascertained that the brother in this oountry is entitled to all the property. If the other brother had been a French­ man he could have claimed an equal share. It is thus shown that, under ex­ isting laws in that State, a Frenchman has more privileges than an English­ man, and this, probably, on account of the aid given by the French in our strug­ gle for independence. BABTLBTT pears from the vicinity of Snisun, Solano county, CaL, are being shipped to Chicago. The freight ^charges on twenty car-loads recently •hipped were $17,000. The fruit real­ ises about $2,500 on each car-load. " ONE of the features of the Atlanta Cotton Exposition," says the Columbus 1JSnquirer-Sun, " will be the manufact­ ure of a suit of clothes from raw cotton in twenty-four hours. The cotton will be picked, ginned, spun, dyed, woven «nd made into a suit of clothes for Sen­ ator Brown inside of one day."- ACTING on a theory that human be­ ings were made to stand upright, and therefore ought never to lie down, a •Californian sleeps in an apparatus which sustains him comfortably in a perpen­ dicular position. A Nebraska physician is equally certain that the vital organs are injuriously affected by being jolted downward in walking, and to counteract this he gravely stands on his head five minutes every day. THIBTY years ago Burr forbade Piatt to walk across his land at Plattsville, Ct; but Piatt could save many steps by go­ ing that way to his mill dam every •day, and so did not heed the prohibi­ tion. Recently, after Piatt had worn a path unmolested during the intervening years, Burr told him he must stop, as the trespass had lasted long enough; that he had, after mature deliberation, resolved to shoot him if he walked that . way again. Piatt did take the usual route next morning, and received a charge of buckshot from Burr's gun. A FISH-PROPAGATING company of Cali­ fornia is experimenting with a frog farm. New Brunswick furnished the material to start with, 130 frogs being sent from there packed in fresh moss in a box plen­ tifully supplied with perforations for the admission of air. The moss was fre­ quently moistened on the way. On the arrival of the box at its destination only 110 frogs were found, and of these ten were dead. It is supposed that the eighteen that were missing had been eat­ en during the journey by their compan­ ions in confinement. THERE is a fakir at Lucknow who does astounding things. His latest exploit was to sit "quiet and unconcerned" close to an enormous fire. The heat was so great that the spectators could not Approach within 200 yards of the blazing maaa composed of eleven cart-loads of highly-combustible material The native scribe who chronicles the feat asserts that the fakir remained in this position for four hours without the slightest harm. The fame of the devotee spread abroad like wildfire, and from all parts came pious Hindoos, bringing offerings to the incombustible saint. So great at last became the concourse of pilgrims that a detachment of police hod to be stationed on the spot. How the trick was managed remains to be shown. A SOMEWHAT curious postal-card case has come up in New York before a United States Commissioner. One Mr. Purvis, a bill-collector, had a grocer's ac­ count among others. The delinquent debtor failing to pay any attention to it, he commenced addressing postal-cards to him, and upon one of them he wrote: " You have got to pay this bill, and you may twist and squirm, but you can't cheat this man." The debtor has had him arrested upon the charge of using "scurrilous language" on postal-cards sent through the mails. Under the law of 1873, which imposed punishment for sending through the mail " any postal- card upon which indecent or scurrilous epithets may be written or printed," the debtor would hive had a clear case, but in 1876 the law was changed, and for some mysterious reason the words "or scurrilous" Were omitted. As the lan­ guage in-this case can hardly be called indecent, the decision will be looked for with some degree of interest. That it is libelous admits of little doubt, espe­ cially as the address was in one sense pub­ lic, for as long as human curiosity ex­ ists a postal-card can hardly go through the mails without being read by more or less persons. KINO THEEBAW, of Burmah, credited last year with a wholesale slaughter of his relatives, had recently a narrow es­ cape. One of his royal consorts sent him a present of dainty confectionery, with a message to the effect that she had prepared the toothsome gift with her own fair hands. Theebaw probably had some private reason for regarding this delicate attention with suspicion, for he very handsomoly transferred the cakes to a favorite mother-in-law, the parent of the very Queen from whom he had received them. Anxious to prove herself worthy of such a rare and grace­ ful munificence on the part of her puis- ant son-in-law, the august lady partook reely of the proffered pastry. Two hours after so doing she was a corpse, and her daughter did not survive her long, for Theebaw, as soon as his moth­ er-in-law's demise was made known to him, gave orders that her Majesty's head should be removed from her shoulders without an instant's delay. His commands were obeyed, and the King, having thus summarily ridded himself of a wife and a mamma-in-law between breakfast and dinner, doubtless congratulated himself upon having got through a highly-satisfactory morning's work. THK Stockton (Oal.) Herald says : A month ago J. E. Richardson, of this city, received a postal card from his brother in Haynesville, Iowa, contain­ ing dyer 5,000 words. It was written to him as a letter, and the writing upon it was so fine that it required a magnifying glass to read a portion of it. Mr. Rich­ ardson made up his mind that he would not be outdone, and four weeks ago made preparations to reply in the same style. He wrote during his leisure mo­ ments an answer; which he brought to a close to-day, the space on his card hav­ ing been entirely consumed. When his task was completed he counted the num­ ber of words, and found that he had 6,471, a number exceeding the one he had received by over 1,000. It was written with a steel pen and can be read without the aid of a glass. WHEN Gen. Sherman and Gen. Ewing were in New Orleans together, at the outbreak of the war, Ewing urged him to go to Ohio and be made a Major Gen­ eral. Sherman shook his head, and said he didn't want to be a Major General. Mistakes would be made at the begin­ ning of the war, and they would turn out all the Major Generals and give the Brigadier Generals a chance. So he wanted to be only a Brigadier General. Only a long-headed, cold-blooded, calcu­ lating Sherman could have looked as far ahead as that. Even if the story isn't true it is characteristic. Beside, if Sherman's critics are right, the first batch of Major Generals didn't make all the mistakes that were made during the war. A CASK has which come up in the Probate Court in Enfield, Ct, brings out some iacts concerning the law governing the rights of aliens to hold real estate, and shows that the law must have grown out of the feeling existing in the State after the Revolutionary war. Under the law, so far as foreigners are con­ cerned, only resident aliens in the United States and Frenchmen can hold, inherit and transmit real estate in Con­ necticut. A woman died at Snake Stories from th« White Sulphui Springs. There are no flies or mosquitoes at the White Sulphur, but there are plenty of snakes in the outlying neighborhood. The mountains are filled with copper­ heads, rattlesnakes and adders. There are no desirable walks and drives abeut here. The majority of visitors keep within the 800 acres known as the White Sulphur reservation. The other day a mountaineer brought in two huge rattle­ snakes. He had them in a wooden box with a glass top. The snakes were very active and vicious. They rolled, hissed and struck at visitors who bent over the box, greatly to the terror of the chil­ dren who crowded about the owner of the snakes. One colored man expressed great fear that the snakes would get out and bite some one. " That would be all day with them, I guess," said he. " Oh, no ! " said the mountaineer ; "a rattle­ snake bite doesn't amount to nothin'." "It don't?" said a visitor. " No," said the mountaineer; there is not a man up in our pearts but what has been bit by rattlers a good many times. It is easy enough to cure the bite." "How!" "Some put on turpentine. That drafrs the pizen out. Jest put the mouth of a bottle tilled with turpentine on the wound, and the pizen will dror out and make the turpentine green. Some, how­ ever, kill the snake and bind a piece of it on the bite. That drors the pizen out. There is a man up our way, however, who never does nothin' when a rattler bites him. He has been bitten three times. The bites kind a swelled up, but after a time the swelliu' went away again." " Did he say he did nothing to cure the bites ? " "Yes." " He must have lied." " He is a preacher, and--" "Enough--you need go no further." The mountaineer says that the worst snake in the mountains is the copper­ head. It gives no warning, is often in­ clined to be < aggressive, and strikes quickly and surely. Its bite is much more deadly than that of the rattle­ snake.^ There is a den of snakes at Cool Knob, a station some thirty miles from here, where there are thousands of snakes in a gTeat cavern that no native has ever been bold enough to approach, to say nothing of exploring.--Cor. Chicago Timet. Fancy Names for Common Dishes. Peyton, our landlord, loves to disguise the dishes of his menu with foreign names in foreign languages, and the conse­ quence is that when one calls for macar­ oni a la Milanaise he is apt to get beans, and when he breathes into the listening ear of an African Caliban that he wants epigrammes of lamb a la Nivernaise he like as not receives cold mackerel. Di­ rectly opposite to me at dinner sat a mountaineer and his wife, both clad in homespun, and eating for all that their money was worth. He, read carefullv over the bill of fare, and chose, after spell- j ing it carefully out, "Stewed beef a la Bur- geoise" and "Terrine a la Strasbourg;" awhile, and the dishes came. After stirring it up, examining it carefully and then smelling it, he exc aimed, in audi­ ble and disgusted tones, to his spouse: "Why, d--n it all, Nancy, it's nuthin' but hash and taters!"-- Washington Capital. ANCIENT MILLIONAIRES. Tanirrfcilta, Jaf GoiMa Anton* of Antiquity. Thousands of men have envied Astor, Stewart, Vanderbilt, Mackey, Keene, Gould and the other fellows who can buy strawberries at $1 per box ; but the richest of them are mere vagrants when compared to some of the ancients. There was Ninus, for instance. He was the son of Nimrod, the old hunter, who made the lions scratch for holes and ti­ gers take to ditches. Old Nim ieft ni« J>oy about £130,000,000 in cash, besides 120,000 cattle, a piece of land about as big as Arkansas, and 14,000 likely slaves. There were no lawyers in those days who made a specialty of breaking wills, and young Nmus quietly took possession and cast about for some plan to keep himself out of the poor-house. He was considered a poor young and had he been seen lugging his girl to an ice-cream saloon or riding out in a livery rig his friends would have said he would bring up in a garret By a lucky capture of territory from the Assyrians, together with 20,000 slaves, 125,000 cat­ tle, ten wagon-loads of silver and jewels, and a few other trifles, Ninus walked up the social ladder until big bugs asked after his wife and babies, and lie could lose three games of billiards without wondering If the owner of the saloon would take a " stand off," He was worth £350,000,000 when he died, and yet for the last five years of his life he went without mutton because the prioe *had raised to 3 cents a pound. The heiress with a $50,000 bank ac­ count considers herself some pumpkins, but what a 3-cent piece she would have been alongside of Queen Semiramis. She not only had the lucre left by Ninus, but in ten years she had increased it fourfold. Just multiply £350,000,000 by two, and you have the amount of her bank balance, to say notliing of jewels and clothing and furniture and palaces and slaves and cattle. Had she sold out and cleaned up she could have drawn her little check for about £700,- 000,000. She didn't worry about where her spring bonnet was to come from, and when a new style of dress goods came out she didn't sit up nights for fear some neighbor would secure a pat­ tern first While she made it lively for her enemies she was soft on her friends. She gave her waiting-maid $500,000 in a lump for dressing her hair in a new style, and she tossed the same amount to her dressmaker as a reward for the excellent fit of one particular dress. One day when she saw a poor old man trav­ eling the highway on foot she presented him with 500 asses to ride on, and in­ sisted on his accepting £50,000 to pay his toll and tavern bills. Cyrus, Kingjof Persia from the year 538 to 580, had some little change to be­ gin with, and in ten years ho could draw his check for £600,000,000. He didn't haggle over the price of a slave when a man came to buy, but presented him with 1,000. He at one time owned 80,- 000 horses. 40,000 cattle, 200,000 sheep, 15,000 asses and 25,000 slaves, and when lie got tired of a palace costing $1,000,- 000, he gave it away to some poor wash­ woman with seven children to support He one day sat down to a dinner which cost £30,000, and in the afternoon he went on £50,000 drunk. The police didn't run him in, or he would doubtless have insisted on paying a fine of £20,000 and presenting his Honor with a corner house andlot in the toniest part of Baby­ lon. King Menes was another well-heeled man. It was too much trouble to count his cash, and so he weighed it One day when an old friend asked him for the loan of a few dollars until Saturday night, he sent him a procession of 60 asses, each animal loaded with 100 pounds of gold coin. He paid £100,000 for a bird which could whistle, the same for a trick dog, and he had such a fond­ ness for white oxen tiiat he shelled out £25,000 apiece for them, and at one tima had a drove of 2,000. When he got out with . the boys ho made things lively. During one spree in his city of Memphis, he gave away £500,000, and didn't get drunk at that. At one time he had 600,000 gold chains, 1,000,000 finger rings, 100,000 costly swords, 300,000 daggers, and land only knows how many fish-lines, jack-knives, cork-screws and tobacco boxes. His wife had £1,000,000 a year as pin money, and when his eldest son went up to Thebes to see the ele­ phant, he was followed by 500 friends, 1,000 slaves, 2,000 horses and £500,000 for fare, checks aud beer money.-- De­ troit Free Press. The Care of the Hands. Many persons, especially farmers, neglect their hands. Hard work Mill, of course, make the hands hard, but they need not on that account be untidy. A black line at each finger nail is not a mark of a " workingman " so much as it is of a negligent one. No matter what his occupation, one should no more come to the table with dirty hands than with dirty face. To keep the hands in good order a brush is a necessity. A " nail-brush " may be bought for a very small sum, and, no matter what may be one's work, ho can, by use of this, keep his hands in very good condition. Rub the brush across the soap and scrub the finger nails, not only at the end, but at the base where they join the flesh, and, if there are any other parts of the hands that need it, give them a scrubbing also. The daily use of a nail-brush, and a careful paring of tlie nails before they get long, will enable the hardest- worked farmer to keep his hands in a comfortable condition. The greatest trouble with the hands is from a split­ ting of the skin at the base of the nails, causing what are called "hang-nails;" this may be avoided by a little care. At each washing of the bands, and after they have been dried upon the towel, push the skin downwiird away from the base of the nail by using the end of an­ other nail; that is, nsa the thumb-nail of the right hand to dress the nails of the left, and vice versa. The comfort that results from well-kept hands is sufficient reason, not to mention neat appearance,for properly caring for them. --American Agriculurirt. Lake Tahoe. The Tahoe Tattler says that there are a great many erroneous ideas extant rela­ tive to this lake and announces that it will make it a special part of its busi­ ness tocorrect them and give the real facts concerning it regarding climatolo­ gy, geology, boating, etc. It is situated 6,220 feet 'above the sea, is twenty-two miles long from north to south and twelve and one-half miles wide, the gen­ eral contour being a parallelogram. The greatest measured depth that we have good authority for is 1,506 feet The the temperature never goes below 39 deg. Fahrenheit and in the summer nev­ er above 60, unless it be near the shore, in some sheltered cove or where a stream of sun-warmed water runs into it At a depth of 500 4eet the tempera­ ture never changes, being 39 J deg. This fact accounts for another--that of drowned persons never rising--the water being so cold that no gases are generated, henoe the body in time simply goes to pieces from the action of the water. It is as buoyant m any other pure water at the same altitude, there being no appreci­ able difference in the readings of the hy­ drometer, hence the statement that wood does not float for any time, persons can­ not swim and the like, art" fallacies. The air l»eing very light at this elevation above the level of the sea, exercise of any kind, either on land or water, can­ not be so long continued as in lower and heavier atmospheres. ILLINOIS NEWS. NINETY of the 102 counties in this State hold fairs this year. BISHOP SPAT.IHNG, of Peoria, will soon erect a magnificent cathedral in oity. JOHN W. RUMSBT k Co., grain dealers of Chicago, have made a temporary sus­ pension. PEORIA Nimrods have had an uccess at Spring lake. One partv bagged 500 ducks. FOR the week ending Aug. 27, there were 335 deaths in Chicago. Of these 203 were children under 5 years of age. TWENTY-FIVE tons of rye straw, ten tons of hay and twenty-fiye acres of meadow were destroyed by fire near Jerseyville. THK Chicago, Burlington and Quincy railroad have oommenoed the erection of a freight depot, 50x111 feet, in Peoria, to cost $50,000. JAMES TOBIN, of* Chicago, who stamped his young daughter to death, pleaded guilty to the charge of murder, and was sentenced to imprisonment for life. WHEN corn was worth 29 cents per bushel, four Peoria men bought about half a million bushels. They could now sell it for more than $100,000 ad­ vance. THK bridge of the Chicago and Alton, spanning Macoupin creek, near Carliu- ville, was recently burned. It was an old wooden structure. But little delay to trains will be occasioned. GEORGE R. CHITTENDEN, an old resi­ dent of Chicago, who acquired a nation­ al reputation from his connection with the DeGolyer paving contract in Wash­ ington, died recently from cancer of the back. AN extraordinary case of surgery is reported in the Chicago papers. An ovarian tumor of two years' growth, and weighing thirteen and a half pounds, was removed from a little girl only 8 years old. A CAN of gasoline exploded in the dwelling of Mr. and Mrs. Uriah James, near Maroa, Macon county, and Mrs. James was so dreadfully burned that she died the next morning. Mr. James will possibly die. CHESTEKFIELD is one of the oldest towns in Macoupin county. It was set­ tled fifty years ago by English families. It is believed to be one of the finest coal regions in the West. Veins seven feet thick are exposed. A WATER famine is threatened at De­ catur, where the dried grass along the Illinois Central track and 100 panels of fence were ignited by a spark from an engine. A similar fire occurred at Hoopeston, covering 120 acres. GOTLIEB SHEERER, a well-to-do farmer of Joe Daviess county, committed sui­ cide by drowning in Apple river. When the body was found there was $581.45 in money on his person, mostly in green­ backs. There was a roll of bills in each boot and one in one of his pockets. Domestic trouble and*V>o much bad whisky were the inciting motives of the deed. THE Chicago Times says; " William Hickling, who died in Chicago yester­ day, came here from England in 1834. In company with George E. Walker he erected the first saw-mill in this vicinity on the Des Plaiues river. Locating at Ottawa, he established the largest gen­ eral store in the State, supplying the ! )ioneers in the Rock and Fox river val- eys. THE old settlers' memorial log-cabin was recently raised at the fair-grounds in Atlanta, Logan county. A large number of old settlans and pioneers were gathered together from four coun­ ties, renewing their acquaintances and witnessing the raising of an old-fasli- ioned log-cabin, to be used permanently at the fair-grounds as a receptacle of old relics. THE Wabash Railroad Company are being sued by the Magill Bros., of Clin­ ton, for damages to a large shipment of wool wlii-jli was caught during the floods at Toledo. The company refuse pay­ ment on the ground that the flood was the act of God, and they are therefore not responsible. Many other cases, amounting to near $1,000,000, will de­ pend on the decision in this case. THE city of Chicago is enjoying a big building boom. The operations in this line are the most active in the history of that marvelous city. The work of the year, as far a!s developed, presents the following summary: Office building* Theaters and cliib-houfles ButoiieKH ntructurea Factories Elevators aaU warehouse* Cliurcb edifices Resiliences, above $5,000 each.... Residences, below $5,000 each.... A)>&rtiiient-hoiMeM.... CATTLE FARMING. .. .$ 1,000,000 500,000 ... '2,150,000 ... 1,200,000 ... 1,400,(K«0 425,000 ... 2,'200,000 8110,000 300,0110 Miscellany 600,000 Total $10,475,000 This does not include the new City Hall and Custom House, the aggregate cost of which will be in the neighborhood of $12,000,000. THE Chicago Tribune of a recent date says : " The advance from rail to board fences was a distinct < gain for the farm­ ers. The substitution of the barbed- wire fence was another advantage. It meant a saving in money. The patentees are apparently resolved that this item shall be as small as possible. But they are going too fast. They do not admit the chance of a still greater improve­ ment. Fences may in time be dis­ pensed with altogether in farming com­ munities except for pasture-lands and barnyards. A statistician estimates that there is ten times as much fencing in Illinois as in all of Germany, and the cost of all the fences in the United States is put at $1,300,000,000. Why can­ not Illinois do as Germany does ? The growth of hedges has but just begun, comparatively speaking, in this country. The wire-fence monopolists should have a care." >• BiwSlng, and at CkMT* ftal Lookoal for ihf Falar^ i B'lono* Ati s Standard.] Few can form au idea of the great in- crease in cattle breeding during the last two years. Estaneias are silently spread- ing out on all sides, especially in the south, where a wave of progress has been wafted by scores of capitalists, who now view the country more from a pro­ lific yield of animals than the quotations on the Bolsa. Few years will pass when the rodeos will stretch to the banks of the Rio Negro and to the foot of tlie Andes; the cattle of the province will be driven along the roads paved with the bones of animals over which the Indians used to drive Chili troops of fat " novillos." In this profitable traffic the animals succumbed on the road, and their paleontological remains testify to the magnitude of the depredations on our frontier estaneias. Times have changed and soon bona fide herds will graze in peace as they silently tread on their aboriginal ancestors, whose bones eloquently point to the aboriginal state of affairs in the Province of Bue­ nos Ayres. 0 The prices at present paid for cattle are unprecedented, and many wonder at their ready acceptance, leaving out of account that cattle are cheap at $300 aud $400, when they can stock camps at $75,000 per league. The Buenos Ayres market has seen the last of what was formerly considered cheap cattle, and soon the cheap prices for lands will fol­ low in the weke, and we will look back with wonder at the rates on the Bio Negro loan principal. Everything in the oountry is growing, and* above all the cattle business, as can be proven by a few figures. examined this mysterious old hulk. He reported that she is built of teak and appears to be still perfectly sound and firm. Arctic Animals. Among animals, the Polar bear, pure white in winter, is found on tlie sea coast and in slightly-wooded regions, but the variety is not abundant. The small white rabbit, same as seen in the Middle States, except in color, frequents wooded regions along river courses and is abun­ dant. Reindeer were formerly abundant on the sea coast and traveled in immense herds, but since the introduction of fire­ arms these animals have been destroyed in some localities and driven from others, and now they are found only in restricted localities. A few years ago they existed in vast numbers on Nuneyak island, and the Indians were in 'the habit erf slaughtering them with senseless im­ providence. They were once so plenty uid tame there that they could be shot in numbers from the huts of the natives. One traveler says that he saw over 4,000 fawn skins hanging up to dry in a single village. Poison is sometimes used in taking game--an execrable practice. In the open throughout the interior oountry reindeer are still found in »m»ll bands. Moose are still found along the rivers in the Yukon territory and in wooded places. Their skins are used for cloth­ ing ; they are thick, stiff and heavy be­ fore being tanned, but are rendered soft and pliable under the manipulation of the Indian tanners, who us© the animal's brains in tlie operation. The Polar bear is found on the north­ ern coast of Alaska. This huge formerly ranged as far south as the mouth of the Yukon ; and tradition has The best barometer of the increasing j it that one was once seen on St Paul's importance of cattle farming consists in ! island in latitude 57 deg. north, supposed the value of blooded stock sold for I to have been carried there on a floating breeding purposes. If we look back as ' late as 1876 the reader will not fail to see that breeding was in its infancy, and only in the hands of a few who could risk and afford to lose several thousand ioe field. In the Coast mountains range cinnamon, black and grizzly bears ; but none of these varieties are common here. Back from the coast bears are more head of cattle by Indian depredations j numerous, especially the black on the and epidemics, arising from overstocked Upper Yukon, were many akin* are camps. At that period, nevertheless, i annually taken. I gathered a good deal the business yielded gre.\t profits, but it : of interesting gossip about the manner was mainly in the hands of wealthy ; of capturing the bear. Tlie natives give capitalists. The Rio Negro expedition j the red bear, and especially the grizzly, and the final disappearance of the Indi- I a wide berth. One white hunter re- ans allowed small capitalists to enter ' ported seeing a band of fifteen black the field, and we witness the first great bears on Peace river, in the Hudson bay stride toward the development and im- ! country, feeding on berries on a hillside, provement of cattle breeding. The in­ crease in the business dnriug 1880 has been still more important than that which ensued in 1878, as the expedition was successfully carried out The in­ crease of 1880 is superior to that of and six in one place on tlie Yukon, tlie present spring. The grizzly is not fre­ quently found, for the sufficient reason, 1 suppose, that he is rarely "lost" The barren ground bear, a smaller animal, dull yellowish brown in color, inhabits a every other year previous, iu spite of the ! wide, treeless region extending from the revolution and its consequences. We western part of British America to Alaska.--Alaska Oar. San francisoo consequences, may look to still more important im­ provement at the end of 1881, and we hope that by that time the new office of statistics will be duly installed, and will publish the necessary figures. A Business Woman. A business looking woman bounced upon the rear platform, strode through the car at a go-as-you-please gait and exclaimed : " Now, driver ! dou't you start thiscai until I find out something." /'Well, ma'am, what is it?" " Will this car take me to St. Aubin avenue ?" " Yes ma'am." Chronicle. Aaron Burr as a Borrower. It wan in the summer of 1812, when a member of the class of 1815 in Harvard College on a visit to Boston of a Saturday, that I was called upon by a Mr. Fessen- den and intrusted with a letter addressed to my father, reported to have been re­ ceived from Aaron Burr, landed in Bos­ ton that morning after a four years' resi­ dence in Europe, which letter requiring an immediate answer I delivered the same afternoon to my father at his coun­ try seat in Brookline. My father, open­ ing and handing it to me to read, seri- "Then you just drive ahead, for Pm ] ously enjoioed upon me no considera- a hurry. Do you know Sam Smith ?" j tion whatever to mention the recep­ tion of it to my elder brother or any one in the family or out of it, which I have never done to the present day--sixty ANNA DICKINSON has a grievance against the Lincoln Monument Associa­ tion of Philadelphia. "It was I who proposed the monument," she says, "and I gave the $1,000 which came from a lecture to the cause in question. Therest of the fund of $20,000 was made up in small subscriptions, the greatest being $20. When it came to erecting the monument, I, who had given one- twentieth of the fund, was not even men­ tioned. The pamphlet which tells of the association way. alludes to ma in no IT is in the power of the triumph over fallen greatneaa. " No, ma'am. " Why, you ought to. He oame here from York State three years ago, and he rides up and down on these street cars night and dav. He lives in a big two- storv wjiite house on the right or left liana side, I've forgotten which, with green window bliuds and a porchico in front I'll know the place when I see it, for Samanthy writ me all about it;" " I beg your pardon ma'am," said the driver interrupting, "but you haven't put your fare in the box." "No, nor I ain't agoin' to nuther, until you stop in front of Samanthy Smith's house." " But I don't go np St. Aubin avenue, ma'am. I'll leave you at the oorner, and you'll have to walk up to the house." " Well, you'll not get my nickel until ?ou drive right up in front of tlie house, i ou can't play any of your swindling city games on me, young man, you bet! I haven't come clear here from York State to cut my eye teeth, nor you can't Elay no tricks on me if you do drive a oss car." She was finally induced to pay her fare, Bomo of Clio passengers assuring her that it was all right. As the car stopped and slid stepped from the foot­ board she pointed up St Aubin avenue with her parosol and exclaimed: "There's the house where Sam and Samanthy live. I knew I'd know it as quick as ever I saw it. Two-story white house with green winder blinds onto it and a porchico in front," and tlie car drove on.--Detroit Free Press. The Hammock. When children only are to use the hammock, the manner of hanging it is not very important, but if provided for the use of grown persons it should be so suspended that the head will always be considered higher than the feet, and umch of the comfort of one who uses it depends upon a proper observance of this fact. If you have no more suitable place, suspend it from the columns of a veranda. The hook which supports the head end should be six and one- fourth feet from the floor, that at foot end three and three-fourths feet; and these proportions should be observed wliere- ever it may lie hung, to secure tlie most desirable curve for the ease of the occu­ pant. Another point to be observed: Tlie head should be fastened to the hook by a rope less than a foot long--just enough to attach it--while at the foot the rope should be four and a half feet long. This gives the greatest freedom for swinging tlie lower part of the body, while the head moves but little. This is a point which cannot be observed in a ham­ mock for children, who think more of it as a swing than a place for comfortable repose. When trees serve for supports, ample provision should be made to prevent inury to the bark by means of stout canvas or heavy bagging be­ tween the ropes to which it is sus­ pended and the bark. If the hanging be so arranged that the hammock can be taken in during long storms, it will last much longer. Durability of Teak. The Chinese and Japanese build most of their vessels of teak. This wood is very durable, and will stand the water better than any other wood that is used for shipbuilding. .According to the Aus­ tralasian Shipping New*, there lies at the bottom of Dusky bay a large vessel that can be plainly seen in clear water. She has been there for centuries, and the Maoris have a legend about her. They say that their grandfathers told them that in their childhood a large vessel sank in Dusky bay ; that the crew man­ aged to reach one of the small islands and after living there for years died off' one by one. Who they were or where they came from the Maoris could not •ay. A diver is said to have reoently away. nine years--with one exception, hereafter recorded. The letter contained a request of Aa­ ron Burr for a private interview, with a loan of money on a pledge of some boxes of books. My fathor's answer, which he likewise handed mo to read declined the interview, also the pledge of books, in­ closing for him $100 in bills of the Massachusetts bank, which was all that was necessary to carry him to his New York friends, expressing his surprise at the application to one known to have been the friend of Hamilton. Some years after arriving from Europe with my wife, at her mother's on the Hudson, I was told by some officious frieud that a Mr. Davis, a friend of Aa­ ron Burr, had spoken disparagingly of my father for not allowing Burr au inter­ view, Burr probably never mentioning any prcuttiary assistance. I gave no credit to this report, and never heard of it again. A short time after returning to Boston I comiAunicated to a highly esteemed and respected friend, the late President Josiah Quincy, the above in­ cident of my life, Mr. Quincy advising no further notice of it, coming from such a source.--Boston Advertiser. Flies That Get Drank. "Them ar' flies is old topers, every one of 'em," said a Dock street beer- drawer, as he handed over a glass of the foaming beverage to a thirsty reporter-- every newspaper office has a thirsty re­ porter. "Yes, they are topers," he spoke up as he drew the reporter's attention to a swarm of flies that were regaling them­ selves in a trough from the drippings of a spigot "Now, what I tell you is the truth ; them ar' flies drink a pint of beer every day, and then they go and sober up. See that netting over those pictures? Well, the flies come down and fill up ; then they shut one eye like a drunken fellow gomg for a lamp-post, and start for that netting. Sometimes tliey don't make it, and fall to the floor, where they lie until they sober up. You're laugh- ing," put in tlie bar chemist "I am not," replied the reporter, "I am taking it all in." "Well, they stick their feet in the holes in that mosquito netting, and sort o' tangle their legs around it You see they feel pretty limber, so 'taint no trou­ ble, and they hang on there until the bulge passes out of their heads. That's so. Do you know, I've got an idea some of these pesky flies go out and bring in their friends? Them fliea drink a pint of beer a day; that's over a gallon a week. Now, there's pretty near a million fliea on that netting--how much does it take to make each one tight? Here's a slate," and the beer-slinger handed one over to the reporter to figure it out Just then the clock struck four, and about ten thousand of the topers started for the beer trough with a whirl, to take a nip before supper. Some of them drank long and deep, and then lay upon their backs and kicked their legs vigor­ ously.--Philadelphia Record. IK England, when a man is drunk, he is "on a foolin Chicago, he is "on a hoorah;" in St. Louis, he has a "dash too much up his nosein Kansas City, he is "ginned up for all that's out;' in St Joe, "the benzine has the upper hold in Omaha, he is " on it bigger'n an Injun in Denver, he " slung in a bowl too much;" in Cheyenne, "the duffer's got it in the neck," and in Lead- ville, " the galoot's on a roarer agin!" THE only way to escape an avalanche is by running, and a run of anything less than 150 miles an hour is all thrown -mm PITH A!TD POOH. Iy you had the woold Ja ­ maica rum punch? Ix Texas when a wishes to ""fr/ '• an acquaintance his prooeduxe is simpfck He uses a bowie-knife. > ADVICE to married men: Put a safety • valve upon yonr self-esteem if you not want to get " blown up." A ST. LOUIS editor found a nickel ijK the street and wrote a half-column ed£ ' torial on " Our Increase of Wealth.?' ^ "PRISOXXB, have you ever been cod* victed f " No, your Honor; I haw always employed nrst-claas lawyers. ** J ONES, getting up from his dinner, % - a quiet way remarked to his landlacftr ' that he had found everything on fno table cold except the ice-cream. THE giraffe is a very timid animafc- His neck is so long that when his heact comes into his mouth it takes him hail a day to get it back where it belongs. M IT is learned that sharks are veifjr fond of cats as food. Now let som£ body invent a method of teaching shart* s to climb over woodshed roofs and bac5 = yard fences. "BRIIJJANT Mid impulsive people,*. said a lecturer on physiognomy. "ha\»V~ black eyes, or, if they don't have they're apt to get them, if they're to* impulsive." SOMB one wrote to Horace Greeley? inquiring if guano was good to put in potatoes. He said it might do for tho*ai whose tastes had become vitiated with tobacco and rum, but he preferred gravy and butter. A 1-rTTi.B P«ir of (flow thfet Retain the snsell of clover, And jnst a tinge of uitgaonette; I turn them vaguely over, And njarvei how the girl I KLMD (That night she promised to be true) Could jam a number erven flat Into • paltry number two, " PLAZE, mum, wud ye oblige a poor bye wid a light ? Sure, you've only to give one glance of yer purty eye ai me pipe, and it'll shine like the slitars.'*. He got the light and a good dinner b%' side. Moral : Always speak the trutl in presence of the fair sex. TEACHER of spelling class -- "First boy may spell foot-tub and give defini­ tion." First boy -- " F-o-o-t-t-u-b-- tub to wash the feet in." Teacher-§H "Second boy may spell knee-pan.®. Second boy--" K-n-e-e-p-a-n--a t% wash the knees in." He didn't go tS1 head. » BF.FORE t'• marriage ' , With wonderous care, She st>?ks the mirror, And banp* her hair. After the marriage, With angry glare, 8h* grabs her slipper, And bangii her heir. < NOT long ago, in a French provincui * theater, a baritone made a fearful croaker; Hisses and laughter in the audiena%« Then the artist came gravely forward and saluted the audience : "Messieurs, I discover that I have issued a falsa note; I withdraw it from circulation. A BRIGHT little girl was sent to get'* some eggs, and on her way back ' stumbled and fell, making sad* havoo ! with the contents of her basket " Won-tj • you catch it when you get homau,, though!" exclaimed her companionF " No, indeed, I won't," she answeredy*5 "I've got a grandmother." r. it THS East Indian Prince of Gondtd ftp on the eve of matrimony. He is to- leaft»l seven happy maidens to the altar all at* - s once. The troubled life of an East Ii*. dian Prince has its compensations. JuSfc,, think of it! Eight souls with but a suW J gle thought, eight hearts that beat dp1 one!--Boston Transcript. . " MY gracious, child," said the OTF'* ladv Jo ahoy who offered to carry hsr i sacliel for 5 cents, " where did yoa get those hands from?" Tlie lad gaze# thoughtfully for a moment at his pav, of flippers, that looked like bunches at * S young onions, and then answered proudP* : "I belong to the Tontine Base-Bait5 ub." " I'D laugh if I should tall aad jueafc*! my neck," Jestingly remarked Jamea.f Maloney, of Tappan, N. Y., while in thf^, act of descending from a fall pear tree, The next moment he lay upon th# n. ground with his. neck broken. But h#J* didn't laugh. What infernal liars somt - men are. , > # IN order to cure her husband of drinky** ing, a colored woman in South Carolin%><9 put concentrated lye in his whisky l>otp R» tie. The last words he uttered were t<J> the effect that it would be a relief to hinf** to drop into Hades to cool off. and th#t£ last words the widow spoke to the out»r; side world as she dodged into jail were " I nevah seedsich weak stomachs as d* »l niggahs are gettin' nowadays : dey can*? stand nuffin!" * The Time Consuming Matefc* Mr. Edward Prince, splint miffitifad- turer of Horseshoe Bay, Buckingham' Township, is authority for the statement that there are about twenty-two matci^ factories in the United States and Can­ ada and that the daily production--and consequent daily consumption--is about 1 25,000 gross. It may seem a quae* statement to make that 100,000 hours o#-' « each successive day are spent by the people of the two countries in striking a light, but such is undoubtedly the case. In each gross of matches manufactured there are 144 boxes, so that the 25,000 gross produces 3,600,000 boxes. Each box, at least those made in the States where a duty of one cent upon every box of matches is levied--contains 100 matches, so that the number of matches produced and used daily amounts to 360,000,000. Counting that it takes a second to light each match--snd it is questionable whether it can be done in less time than that, while some men oc­ cupy several minutes sometimes in try­ ing to strike a light, particularly when boozy--to light the 360,000,000 would take just that number of seconds. This gives 6,000,000minutes, or 100,000 hours. s In days of twenty-four hours each it fig­ ures up to 4,166$, and gives eleven years and five months, with a couple of days extra, as the time occupied during every twenty-four hours, ^ by the people , of North America--not figuring on the Mexicans--in striking matches. Figur­ ing a little further it gives 4,159 years ' time in each year. The fact may seem amazing, but it is undoubtedly oorrect --Ottawa Free Press. A Comedy of Enron. Two babies were born in the same house st Oakland, Tennessee. The Bothers were sisters, closely resembling «ach other, and the infants were both girls. In the excitement of the occasion the little ones got mixed, and this hap- raed before they had been dressed, or any other way marked for identifica­ tion. There seems to be no way out of the uncertainty, for three months have •; £ passed without developing any resem- blance to the father in either case; and if the children grow up, as they seem likely to, with no physical characteristics of their mothers, nobody will ever know their exact parentage. The present agreement is to decide the question by NsejBb be--Ckatttmooew Timed. Too much corn voice husky. whisky