The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

«IBX. THE CAMO® I" uj N « 0,, 4A| for y.mr (MU(Mbh (Ma, , '"With tJneir ve;ve«l tiod artiits w»a ;/ Uwir diamond* «nd rabl*« and p< And «b*tr mtUtevrx' fignrea *na ftifjr tang thine at » pw«>" or bsu, E«abJ»«w»M witfc half they poM • ifci* flWiM) to pl*« of Cham I.-T gtrl WITH OH- c*lioo DMIL ' &!\«r dRinlie* »nd fopltngs m«jrm ii'^tojiaAt hersimpleand modest sUire^i,: " "iput tliP charm* *1N> jwrmili te mMi ' -Would not A whole iceberg on Iffc - #(ip can dunce, but she never rilows The hugging, >br f<]ne>es5fc *nd c*IW{ >%fce 1" «.Vtug »I1 these for her V My (firl with the c»Hoo drew. t ».V "Mk '̂a utplarup ss a partrld«, and M* ' *'"• *As the rose in it* oarUest bloom; , jipr (<«>th will with ivory compare, •M 'And her l>re»rb with the clover p- 'Wyov. want a companion for life, .'»"I fift'o comfort, cn.iv 11 and BWWS, HJJL-J t§6 in just the right »ort for a wife, . In ray gir) with the calico dreu. COLIN CMMJT. ft v® At 18 Alioia Grand had consented to fx';, f^ become Alicia Little. She had yielded ^ to the <eRrnest entreaties of Mr. Little, ^ but she always declared herself ill- !c ; / matched, and pronounoed it impossible 1 to be happy with a man who was not fa- \1 *# moud. As the years advanced Mr„ Lit I < tie felt that, in wooiug Miss Grand so <• strenuously that she had been Compelled . to yield, he bad performed an action of * peculiar baseness,'only to be overlooked £'•*• at all by the fact of its having been, oom- ^ 5l mitted m the almost juvenile days of his 22d year. *'• ** But perhaps I shall be famous yet," be asid, sometimes. yHo, no," xepliod.Alioia,'sadly. "11 is too unlikely. Yoa won't go into Par­ liament, and there is nothing else you can do." _ " itut I have no taste for Parliament, said Mr. Little. " If I am to be famous it must be as nature dictates. You know one could not expect everyone to be like your favorite--Colin Clout" " Oh, don't name Colin Clout," cried the wi*e, raising her hands in entreaty. " Tour lips se*-m to profane his exist­ ence. Colin Clout is a splendid poet. He will soon be the poet of the time. You can't understand his poetrv, and you should not speak of him. With me it is different. I have been a poetess from my birth.? Alicia ha I indeed written some very fine poems, of great length and in blank verse ; but their success had not been very great, and pub'iahers, though po­ lite, had been unappreciative. ' . But she waswont to send copies of her poems to six unknown friends, three poets and three poetesses, whose ac­ quaintance she had formed through the perusal of their verses in ptiuer.* and magazines, and with whom she corre­ sponded diligentfy, notwithstanding that the names of some of them were even less poetic and euphonious than her own. She had been married several years when Colin Clout, the poet whose fame waxed greater with every line he wrote, published a volume bearing the some­ what curious title of "His Poems." But its contents were incomparable. The book was in every one's hand, it was the theme of every tongue. Alioia based it and learned much of it by Irnonin* it MWifilllv frirtm liar Km. I " I oould not bear to have you touch it, my dear," she said, putt ng it be­ hind her back. " Why not? " he asked. " How often have I told vou that yon had iDo soul, no ideas,"'said Alicia. " You, who can sit scribbling on the back of an envelope, amid a chattering crowd, cannot conceive the creative mo­ ment, when the poet, wrapped in soli­ tude, forces words to express his thoughts." "No, I cannot," said Mr. Little, frankly. " Then what would-be the good of my allowing you to read ' Hn Poems?'" said Alicia. " At leaa* you might read them to me," he urged. Whereupon Alioia con­ sented so far as to read aloud the open­ ing dedication to the poet's wife. . " Matchless! " she murmured as she eiost <1 the book. '* Spoih by that comma at the end of thethirdliue," remarked Mr. Little, t * It shor.ld have been a semi-colon. I don't think very much of Colin Clout, if this is all he can do." Alicia hardly deigned a reply. A slight shiver ran thsough her frame. Undoubtedly if her husband assumed the position of a poetical critic her only ttfjuge was in silence. She took up her pen and began to write. "I have invited my friends here on Sunday," she observed, coldly. ** We have never m ft, but it so happens that we are all in town now, and we mean to unite in offering congratulation and homage to Colin Clout on the appearance oi * His Poems.'" "What?" exclaimed Mr. Little. " You are going to have Hie Budges and Butchers, and all the rest of them, here !*? * " Yes," said Alicia, reddening faintly. " But we have all taken nomde plumes, to prevent the cruel necessity of speak­ ing each other's names, which are most­ ly so barbarous. My poet-ess friends are no longer Miss Butcher, Miss Flint and I Mrs. Buzzard, but Clarinda, Daphne ; and Sappho; while Mr. Budge, Mr. Sal­ mon and Mr. Lushington have become Karciiisus, Florimel and Eugenins." *' And what are you, dearest ? " asked Mr. Little, with great interest. "They are good enough to call me Thalia," she said,' modestly. She re­ sumed her pen, but after dipping it into the ink several times she still wrote nothing. •*»»?*«What ase you doing?" asked her Msba^d. "Could I help you? " . /Alicia started. "No indeed," she «ud. " 1 am writing a few appropriate unes tooelebrate our first meeting; but, though I do sadly want a rhyme, it is of no use your offering assistance. Pd»t8, my poor husband, are born, not made." But wlieri Sunday arrived Alicia's W»met of inauguration was ready, and she herself seated in state to receive her . firsts, >" All!" she was thinking, fixing her Imgl-t expectant eyes on the door. Mow I shall have an hour of reallv do- Ugutlul converse. It thrills my soul to *ink o! the poetic minds with whom I > «baii eoon be in actual contact" fcappko, in the person of Mrs, Buzzard, >, Has tue first to arrive. She was a tall gaunt woman, with blue spectacles and • dusty dress, and an air of timidity as Mihe man who had given her the right to sign her name Buzzard was accus- toiued to exercise certain rights of his own with a too untangible reserve " My dear Thalia," she said, in 4 low 46rried voice, "the pleasure of the tateeting is beyond the expression of words. I have brought a little poem to express my appreciation of your uncom­ mon talents, and the uncommon talents & our brothers and sisters. But I will reserve it. I see 1 come like the dawn •• in summer, almost too soon." " Never too soon, dear Sappho," mur- should like to Hid Sap- Eho, hastily, and nervously looking over er shoulder from time to time, as if she law the form of Mr. Bmwttd in aotoe habote corner. "The cherished og*n- fMttim of your walk through life's phade |ind sunshine--does he approves r* The opportune arrival of Mr. Budge it this moment saved Alicia <h» necessi­ ty of a reply, and she had scarcely wel­ comed, and introduced him to Sappho, when Mr. Lushincton appeared; and m immediately followed by tlw w- trance of Miss Butcher, Miss Flint rand iVIr. Salmon. " We have two pleasures before us, Said Alicia, smiling round her. " First, to testify our unspeakable admiration of Colin Clout, and then to delight in the < $>oems which we have, each one, pro­ duced for this occasion. Mr. Salmon-- florimel--I beg you to be seated." For Florimel, apparently the stoutest t»f the group, remained standing. ,;J " My good madam," he said, huskily, and with some irritation, "I am 701 You can't expect seventy years to re­ pose themselves upon low chairs and divans--like these !" Encrenius, whose appearanoe was characterized by an extreme pallor and fragility, looked disgusted. Clarinda and Daphne, who were friends, and had come together, leaned back their chairs with gestures of abhorrenoe. " Mr. Budge, pray ring the bell,"'said Alicia. " A more convenient chair shall be brought. I am sorry, Mr. Salmon, but--" " You did not think I was. so antique and unwieldy,said the old gentleman, crossly. " People never do think. I beg you, madam, to tell me how I could have furnished the ' Poet's Corner' for the Conversationalist tor the last fifty years if I were not 70 ?" " We were not aware you had done so." said Miss Butcher. But a chair suitable to the needs ol embonpoint being now procured, a de­ gree of harmony fell upon the soene, and the poets and poetesses looked ex­ pectantly at Alicia. " If Thalia would unlock her lips," suggested Mr. Lushington, theatrically. "* We are met together, dear poet friends," began Alicia, "to congratulate ourselves, the world and the author, upon the appearance of a volume of poems of unsurpassed beauty, by Colin Clout." " Unsurpassed as yet," corrected Miss Butoher. " I know of but one work to supersede it, and that is, ' The Remains of Daphne,' as yet unpublished, but to be committed to the press by me, after the death of my friend, Miss Flint." "After my death," said Miss Flint, who looked man ̂ years younger than Miss Butcher. " Madam," said Mr. Salmon, with sarcasm, " may you live a thousand years!" 'Narcissus,"interrupted Alicia, quick- ly and .taming to that personage, a sad- looking gentleman of about 40, whose ill-fitting clothes and haggard appear­ ance seemed to bespeak poverty, or a strange caprice; " Narcissus, you have hardly spoken. Do you not think we may consider 'His Poems' an unsur­ passed work, and congratulate Colin Clout accordingly ?" r Thus addressed, Mr. Budge glanoed nervously at the four ladies, ana then said, "Yes, yes! Anything yon like, Thalia ! anything 1--pray do so 1--yes, yes I" " What rhymes with surpass, ladies and gentlemen f threw in Florimel, at this juncture. Alicia and Eugenins smiled. Thus en­ couraged. Sappho smiled too. Florimel laughed aloud. " If Thalia is going to encourage suoh coarse frivolity,-" exclaimed Clarinda, "Daphne and L must take ourleave." " No, no," cried Alicia. "Pray don't be vexed, Clarinda. I am sure Florimel meant nothing." " Lass rhymes with surpass as Wfell as ass," observed Sappho, .timidly. ' ' Those who had laughed before laughed again; those who had frowned before frowned now. Sappho was painfully conscious of having made matters vorse by her unfortunate remark. "The business in hand," continued Alioia, "is to offer congratulations to Colin Clout on his unsurpassed work--" " Tnalia ! " said Eugeuius, " most de­ ferentially, but with absolute firmness, I beg to say that if the word unsur­ passed be adhered to, I must sorrow­ fully decline to affix my signature to the memorial." * "But whal can we say instead?" asked Alicia, vexe^ but preserving her good humor. " Keep to unsurpassed; hy all means," said Florimel. " I shall not sign it if it be altered. As to Eugenins, the poem he refers to as surp&tsing Colin Clout is his own sheepish pastoral, which the Weekly Idyllic has been weak enough to publish." Alicia knew not what, to do. But, after a momentary pause, a bright idea struck her. "Perhaps we ' had better read our poems first" she said. " We can Bign the memorial presently. Clarinda, may I call upon you to begin ? " Clarinda acquiesced and proceeded in blank verse to describe a storm, then a calm, in language equally well chosen. The reading hau continued for a>>out a quarter of an hour--for the poem was long--when a sudden deep and sonorous sound disturbed the tranquillity of the little party. Sappho looked apprehen­ sively at Florimel, and put her linger to her lips. "Oa! pray don't wake him!" she murmured. "Pray do not rouse him from his rosy dreams." " He snores," pronounced Euginius. " He is asleep, you know," sail Nar­ cissus, with a feeble desire to make things clear. Clarinda folded up her manuscript with much parade. '1 Intolerable ooarse- ness," she ejaculated. "Why should the reading stop?" asked Alicia, rather anxiously, "if Florimel does not care to listen; it is his loss alone." But the steadfast Clai iiula shook her head. An uupardonatile affront been offered to her. " I read no more," she said. with satisfaction. Narcissus' poem %•* <*B»d "Plam aux Dames," and opened by aaaertiag that X*dlea an Hk» radiant ttrnm^ J Men an grove.l&g worm*-- whereat Sappho shivered visibly, and seemed to imply that, whatever womect might be in brighter spheres, she had never dlsoovared anything groveling or worm-like in the men she knew best, and notably net in the one whose name ihe bore. *' Thank you. Narcissus," said Alioia. "You are very ohivalroua. I suppose," she added, "than is no good in waiting for Florimel." "Oh no I let us not intrude on the realms of his balmy slumbers," said Sappho. " Will not the honeyed lip of Thalia read her own poem to us?" insinuated Ectgeiaua. Aoqniescing Alicia opanekl the portfo­ lio in which she had left her sonnet But it was gone, and in its plaoe lay an unpretending sheet of note paper, on which she knew no verse of hens had ever been transcribed. Nevertheless a sonnet, was there, and it ,was signed by the name of Colin Clout. "Sopefhing very strange has hap­ pened/'cried Alicia, "I oannot account lor it or explain it, but it is most extra­ ordinary. 1 placed a sonnet of my own in this portfolio this morning; it has quaiutwice of Thalia's,' nnda frigidly. j Alicia begged the others to proceed, and this they did in tarn, but tne sleep- icy de- wared Alicia. f Y "There is one thing My beioastfae ing form of Florimel and the icy mean or of the two outraged ladies seemed to lie like wet blankets on the little assembly. Sappho read first Clarinda and Daphne listened to the simple doggerel with an almost audible scorn. Alicia herself was glad that the Siece possessed, at least, the merit of revitfr. t " Thank you," she exclaimed, oheer- fully. "Those are very pretty lines, dear Sappho. Daphne, may we now oall upon you?" Bit Daptttur would not read. "She cannot read while that monster _ . announced Clarinda. Half-amused, lialf-disgusted, Alioia begged the gentlemen to bring forward their productions, whereupon Eugeniu,s standing, and with much oratorical effect, recited a poem which he had entitled " The Murderer," and which was very terrible, and greatly resembled " Eugene At am." As no one remarked upon this, fcowatar, "Eugenios reseated been spirited away, and lo 1 a sonaet of Oolin Clout'o has. replaced it I * " I imagine that Oolin Clout is an ac- observed Cla- Frobably the explana­ tion is in that fact" •' I do not know him. I have never seen him. I do not even know his veal name," cried Alicia. " Loath as I am to admit the possibility of miracles, I own I regard this occurrence with super­ stition. But the sonnet, however it came here, is unsurpassed. Let me read it" She began to read hastily, lest Euge- nius should again quarrel with the ad­ jective she had adopted; but all were spell-bound, for the sonnet was one of incomparable beauty ; and so graceful was the tribute which Colin Clout there­ in paid to the poet souls at the moment assembled that even Clarinda and Daph­ ne murmured applause. The little burst of enthusiasm awakened Florimel, who sat up with a start and asked whal time it was. Sappho hastened to explain what hap­ pened, and then Alioia, at the instance of Florimel, read the sonnet again. " Beautiful! beautiful!" said Fleri- mel, with a sigh. "My own chorus would not be supportable after it" "But do read it," said Alioia, gently, "No; it would be too humilUtinj," said Florimel, ™ We must sink when Colin Clout is present" "I feel it, said Alioia, fervently. She rang for tea, and the poets began to talk in groups. ^Thalia, said Eugenins, osming for­ ward, " I am quite willing to sign the memorial now. Afte^,hearing that sou- net, I admit that Cohn Giout is an un­ surpassed poet. I have wri'.tca nothing to compare with it" " I imagine not," said Florimel, dryly. " Narcissus will sign alio," s*id Eu­ genins. " Yes, yes," stammered Narcissus; "if XV- 1 _ _ J. Till .'i. H. Ult? IUUIOB UU BUf X 11 UU 11* • " I sign, of course," said AliouL in a clear voice ; "and Sappho will sigii too, I am sure; and* dear Clarinda, yen and Daphne ?" The three ladies advanced. "Until the 'Remains' I mentioned before are published," said Clarinda, "I consider Colin Clout's poems to be un­ surpassed. After that publication, tilings will wear a different aapeot; but at this hour I Sign -without reluctance." " Then we are all agreed," said Alicia. And the real business of the meeting was concluded. When the guests had departed, Mr. Little ventured into the drawing-room, where he found hfe wife looking flushed and fatigued. "Iam afraid you .are very tired, my darling," he said, taking her hand. " But I hope you have enjoyed your friends. Tell me how you got on." " Well, they all agreed to sign the me­ morial at last," said Alicia, somewhat dejectedly. " But they disappointed mew Their conversation was not a bit mora poetical than--than yours, and their be­ havior was less so ; for you are always agreeable and polite, and they were either rude or awkward." Mr. Little smiled. " You must expeot eccentricities from born poets," he re­ marked. " "Nonsense, my dear," oried Alioia. " They are no more born poets than you are. As for me, I am never going to write a line again--never ! " . "Well, was the sonnet of inaugura­ tion appreciated?"asked Mr. Little. " That is a great mystery," said Alicia, in a low voice.. " My poem has vanished, and in its stead I found the most exquisite sonnet of Oolin Clout's. How could it have got into my port­ folio ? " " I put it there, dear one." "You?" "Yes," said Mr. Little. "I know Colin Clout very well, and I got hun to write a sonnet, on purpose to please you. You had better give me the mem­ orial to make over to him." " What!" cried Alicia, at last finding words. "You know Colin Clout? Why have you never told me so before, O most unpoetical husband ? Why, why have you never introduced him to me ?" " Because he is not the sort of a man you like." " How do you know f" she asked im­ patiently. " He is very like me, dearest" "Impossible!" " Indeed, it is true. We are as like as twin brothers." " I cannot believe it," said Alioia, em­ phatically. " But,' my darling, listen tome. I have often been oil the point of fadlfag you before, but something has always stayed me. I know not whether poets are born or made, but I have written poetry all my life, and now I am proud to tell my wife that her husband is famous, for--he is Colin Clout 1" And the poet kissed away the penitent tears that started into Alicia's eves, and the penitent words that rose to her li|K. >1U NOTES. Absence of liai A citizen who was flurried an i angry entered a grocery store on Antoine street and called out to the owner: " Why in the do you keep a dog around here to eat folks up ?" " Didt my dog eat you oop?" Was the innocent query in reply. " Not quite, but he tore my ooat halt off my back, and you've get to pay for "How much?" " Well, it will cost as much as $2 to get it repaired. You'll either pay it or I'll have the dog shot" "Oh, I'll pay dot," said the grooer, and he did; but the t"«r was hardly out of sight before he jumped a foot high and called out: " Dunder und blitzen, but I vhas der greatest shackass in America! Why I sells dot dog to my fader-in-law more as m weeks agoZhrfro* Free Aw*, IK SPAIN the horse bean is extensively grown for horses. THB average annual yield of milk from each cow in France is 269 gallons. HEMP seed if recommended by some as a cure for barrenness among dairy oowa. i Tn averagb yield of wheat in France last year was about fifteen bushels per aero. LBSS than OIM per cent of the sugar manufactured in tbe world is made from the sugar mapfo A FARMEB in Cherokee, Iowa, raised forty bushels of beans from one and a half bushels of seed on prairie soil. SWXTZKBIJA.NI> prodooea only about one- third of the amount of oereala required for home consumption. THB importation of potatoes, cab­ bages, and other vegetables from Euro­ pean oountries is oonstantly increasing. NINKTY-PIVK per cent of the elements* r contained in a plant are of atmospheric# origin, and which enter the plant through t the leaves. MR. L. CcMimre, of Brunswick, Me., sold to a piokle factory forty-seven bar­ rels of oucnmbers, raised on one acre of land. „ AoTutnriiTTBB is taught in 27,000 of the 34,000 schools of France, which have gardens attached in whioh practical in­ structions can be given. FROM careful experiments it has been found that the flow of sap from the sugar maple decreases as the tree in tapped from the base to the top ; also that the degree of sweetness will decrease in the same ratio. GREAT BBITAIH and Ireland take sixty- two per eent of our nog product, Franoe nine and three-fourths per cent., Germany nine and one-fourth per cent., Belgium, Holland, and Sweden ten per oent, Cuba and Hati three and seven- eighths per cent, and all the other coun­ tries five and one-half per cent A CBBEAL crop contains at the time of full bloom all the nitrogen and potash which is found in the mature crop; the assimilation of phosphorio acid contin­ ues somewhert later; the increase of oarbon and silica proceeds as long as the plaut is in a green state. INTELLIGENT horsemen appreciate all efforts to keep the stabhs clean and free from offensive odors, and they find that it pays, in the increased vigor and health of the animals and in the cost of their keeping, feed being always better di­ gested aud assimilated by healthy than by sickly animala. THEBB is suoh a striking resemblance between our best native-grade csSile and the thoroughbred Ayrshire as to create a general impression that a breed in­ digenous to this section of the coup try might be produced Which would excel for New Euglaud itself every knbwn breed of to-day. v DON'T neglect the cattle. Seep them as warm as possi!>le and it will require less feed to keep them up in condition. Have a regular time for feeding, water­ ing, and milking. Give them enough to eat, but do not give them so much that any will be wasted. It i* pooi economy to waste crops after you have them iu the barn. ; » IN OBDER TO have * supply of eggs during the winter keep the apartments where the fowls are quartered wnrm and clean, supplied with a variety of food, occasionally with meat aud fresh water daily. Once or twice a week drop into the water a little cayenne pepper. It is an excellent tonic und is warming to the crop 111 very eui# weather. • > > WHERE a crop is growing the nitrates will be kept nearer the surface, the evaporation erf water from a growing crop being far giea er than from a bar" soil: The nitrates will also he constantly taken up by the root-*, and employed as plant food. The loss of nitrates by drainage is thus far less when the land is under crop than in the case of a bare fallow. ' IN THE process of leacliipg little beside potash is abstracted from Wood ashes. If they are made from soft wood fifty per cent, of the potash can be taken out, while only thirteen per cent, of the potash can be taken from hard-wood ashes. If lime is used in leaehi»£ a slightly larger per cent, of potash is separated. Leached ashes are worth fully half the price of unleashed for fertilizing purposes. THERE is scaroely a malady to which the horse is subject that is not hereditary. Contracted feet curb, spavin, roaring thick wind and blindness notoriously descend from sire or dam. Cattle being less exposed to the existing causes of disease are not subject to so great a vnriety of maladies, and those which they have are less violent in character than in the case of the horse, but they are equally transmissible and should be avoided with the same care by the breeder. IT IS said 20,000 acres of new vineyards were planted in California last year. The vines planted are generally of the finer foreign varieties. The wine product lust year fell off 2,000,000 gallons, in consequence of injuries to grape orop by trust. The character of the California wines has completely changed within the la-st four years, owing to improved knowledge of fermenting processes, aud tht> discovery of tho adaptation of varieties > f gropes to soil and locality.. IN NORWAY it takea from 110 to 120 days frotu the sowing for spring wheat and oats to grow and be ready for liarveatiug; barley about 90 days. " Rye is used exclusively for bread. It is made in round cakes, about one foot in diameter and from i to i inch thick. After baking, the cakes are thoroughly dried and become very hard, but are easily soaked for use. This bread is ^considered very healthful and nutritious. The cakes will keep any length of time. IN THB rural districts of Europe dogs are almost everywhere used in tendiug sheep. It is not an uncommon sight to see an old man or woman who, from age aud feebleness of body, is no longer able to obtain a livelihood by hard labor, accomj)anying a flock, with the intelli­ gent shepherd dog to keep the animals from trespassing and to take them to and from the fold or the pasture. The absence of fences, the pasture strips lying alongside of growing crops of grain, renders this species of care imperative. THE value of tile-drainage for farming land can scarcely be overestimated. A table by the 1 ndiana State Bureau of Statistics, with the view of ascertaining the benefits of tile-drainage, shows that land which yielded an average of nine and a half bushels of wheat per acre for five years before drainage, yielded an average of nineteen and one-quarter bushels per acre for five years after being drained. With corn the increase was from thirty-one bushels to seventy-four. During the same period of time the nam her of cases of malar id siokn !ss dirain. ished from 1,840 oases before to490 oases after drainage. DR. J„ B. LAWM thus summarized a lecture 011 commercial fertilizers deliv­ ered before the Haddington Farmer*' Club: 1. That a superphosphate lias given » considerable increase to-each orop of a rotation, although used with- out, M>y.other manure* for a period of thijty yean*. 2. 4?haV in con-equence of gnun oontaining huge quantifies of nilfogBB and phosphoric acid, and smal quantities of potain, manures eon' ing soluble uitrogjso, as ammonia nitric acid, are specially applicable these aropn. 3. That when crops 00 taining large quantities of potash, si as roota» potatoes and hay, are sold t the fhrm, manure® containing potas such as purchased dung, appear to l>e more suitable. 4. That although potaeh, phosphoric acid and nitrogen are the chief manure ingredients in farmyard dung, the manure fr6m artificial foods and in artificial manures, still the differ­ ences in form with which these substances are met greatly affect tlicir value. The Sresent method of analyzing manures oes not properly recognize these dis­ tinctions, and the valuations founded upon these analyst are altogether false and erroneous. S. '"COOL" BURGESS, " AS UlTSUAL FUBOM. A ftecMMRt Kicllewsat ln«nl*|im< fry ' ibr HersM sai <W IfXtua of HI amy I </ A BAS&T^X STUMP SPEECH BY A i&ttm ' : " " felNNEK. ' / [From the Ohi#ago Time*,] The name of the gentleman heading (his article needs np introductory remarks from the writer. Everybody knows who" Cool" Burgess is, and what he is; everybody who is anybody ha* seen and langhed at his gro- tesque performances, and enjoyed the^a in such a manner as to never forget 'them. "Cool's"laugh is contagions and hilarious, and, like the out of hie tmmentionables, is unlike anything of the k*nd on or off the boards. His oratorical powers are certainly nnequaled, and, as he says himself without egotism, he "don't believe that my Lord Bos- coe, with all his twisted powers as an ora­ tor, * could deliver my stump speech as I do." We coincide in the opinion ourselves. Mt. Burgess tells a heap of tenth under the guise of burlesque in his roaring and amusing stftmp speech, His hit at the navy is a prelty good thing; when he'straightens himself up and seriously says that " we have as much water as ever," and then "but where, oh! where are our ships?" the laugh that follows is a pretty good indication' the point is well taken. Nor is it witt wttter alone that Mr. Burgess deals in hie otntory; that gentleman tells some remarkable truths abput oft--one Oil in particular, and that ia St. Jacobs Oil, the Great German Remedy for rheumatism. We doubt if he receives a more hearty laugh at any time during his performance, and he receives many suph-- than when he tells every one to mse St. Ja­ cobs Oil, the Great German Remedy. Mr. Burgess very earnestly recommends it as the great panacea, and to show his esteem of the Oil produces a bottle from the capa­ cious pocket of his ulstrt: to show that he knows what be is talking about This part of Mr. Burgess' performance struck tne writer as very laughable, and he called on Mr. Burgess to know how he came to introduce the Oil ill his speech. In reply to his interrogatories Mr. Burgess said: I look upon the stage, mv dear sir, as a means of eduoating the people, and human nature is such that truth told in the guise of humor will be- remembered longer thnn the plain unvarnished article. Every word I say regarding the wonderful merits of St. Jacobs Oil I mean. I am the greatest admirer of that wonderful medicine there is in the pro­ fession, and there is not an actor in the country who will not speak in praise of the Great German Remedy. The bottle which is produced by me on the stage is no ' prop bottle," but a genuine urlicit, as 1 never travel without St. Jaoobs Oil. It cured me of the rheumatism when I wfts so bad with that aggravating disease as to have to give up my business. It cured me permanently, too, and I am so thankful for being cured that I praise it continually. It cured my wife, also, of the same disease, and I know a s'oore of performers who have been cured by it. In tact, no performer of good sonse travels without that medicine. You know rheumatism is their especial dread; sooner or later it comes to them ;dl, owigg to their mofle of living and traveling." Malaria * la Mode. "Yes, sir," remarked a Congressman, in the enjoyment of a 5-cent chariot seat, "no doubt of it in the world. Washington is one of the most unhealthy points, on the continent. I hardly strike the town before malaria strikes me, and it's my opinion that the Capitol should be removed." Well, maybe it should ; but as long as there is any lingering hope thait he will die here in the line of his important duties, no man of sense would advocate the transfer. I surveyed this sufferer with great care. He came from the West He wore a long beard, a red nose, an inflamed eye und a girth of about eighty-four inches. With the aid of, an ordinary imagination you oould see the rtod-headed duck, pate de foie gran, calves' head a la viniagrette, ter­ rapin, and champagne, all laid away in layers under his belt. From the size of his head and the swelling in his templar veins it was evident that he had a bad case of Washington malaria on hand. That's one type of the disease. Again, youUl find a Congressman with nerves so unstrung that he can't sign a oheok for his board. He's a great t Rn«t ferer. He has to go out about twe anya times a day to see "the doctor." hates to be alone, and the though anything to eat operates on him likfrt of red rag on a bull. Then ho writes li< , that he has been taken down with Washington malaria. Malaria is a peculiar complaint. one of those portable diseases you carry around with you almost anyw if you have enough money to buy drinks. Several years ago, when virulence of this complaint in Wash ton was first circulated all over country by the statesmen who n; periodic calls at the capital; we thou it might possibly be true to some ext. but it did seem rather remarkable the people who lived here in the <• city of natives, aud followed the p; and orderly customs of the plaoe, n Buffered to such an alarming exteu these transient travelers. At last it observed, however, that statesmen come on here without their families caring to expose them to the frivoh of the capitol--are the first to yiel.t the ruinous influence of this malui atmosphere, while those who briun families, and run 011 regular seiu- bed-time, are seldom troubled with complaint.-- WaakingUm Capital. .A Watery ̂ . The foUowiftg short history of trials and tribulations of a milkmailon or cused of watering hi* milk, will int '""ty the general reader, a* proving that i bS eases tho fender is net alone to b ind$i for thin milk. The man in questiot a eow that was quite peculiar in thaf SIZE. gave very poor milk. Upon testing oow's milk was declared to he watt and the unhappy peddler was fi But, like ft brave fellow, he fought matter, and appealed the case to a U er court A competent chemist analf the milk taken in his presence dirJ.r® an** from the cow, and proved it to be alf Thcs® molly rich--in water. The man prf known his innocence and escaped unmef.'8L>14s^8 punishment What afterwards belH™"™" of the peddler is not positively kiitwa™ but it is currently reported that, lfuilvr Burning on the fact of his acquittal^e p purchased a force pump, and has indus­ triously aided his remarkable cow in supplying his ewt®mm ,̂ ifh traapar- • l i f t m i l k , . . . to tree te si lier . V- nooanted him, and a fyw days thereafter we published from tbe same paper a second article, giving an account of the "Excitement in Rochester/ caa>ed by Dr. Henion's statement III the first article Dr. Hertion stated that for * number of years, tip to last June, he had been afSieted with what seemed at first a most mysterious trouble. He felt, unaccountably tired at fre­ quent intervals; he had 'dtrU and indefinite pains in various parts of his body and head, and was very hungry one (lav and entirely without appetite tbe next However, as a phynician ho thought, and so did hi* CeUpw- phy&icians that he was suffering from malaria. But yet he grew worse, aud wis* finally obliged to MTO up a large and lucaativs jrao- tioe. Still he was not conscious bf his danger, nor that ft monstroos dueas* was beoonkg fixed upoa him, although all his organs had, be­ come gradually weakened. The symptoms above described oootiniied, aeosmpaiMl by others of an a#cgravated nature, aud he noticed a peculiar color Mod odor about the Autos he was passing ; that? they were abundant otto day and very acaatv the next, and were covered with froth or filled with brick-dut>t sediment But even then he did 'not fsahM his teal axu£ alarming condition. A* last, however, he ira« brought face to face with the fact that he was a TicUm of * most terrible dlaease^ and he mads heroic effort* for recovery. He traveled ex­ tensively and consulted the best'physician®, but they could give fatal only temporary telkrf, and that principally iu the form of mofpliiue. And so he grew steadily and constantly worse until his iife became a torture. His pulse vas un­ controllable. He lived wholly by Injections, and for six days and nights he had the hie- soughs constantly, winch are consult?ad the sure indications er coming death. ' When hope and life were nearly dxhstasted his pastor, the Kev. Dr. Foote, rector at 8t Pitul's Church, strongly urged him to try a means which the reverend gentleman h id seen used with remarkable rmtmltd. He objected at first, but finally consented, and was conscious of an improved condition the first week. His pains gradually disappeared; his stomach re­ sumed digestion; his heart became regular ; his headachcs d ̂ appeared ; te had n<* more chill* and fever, or acidity of the stomnoh ; he gained twenty-six pouudtj iu three t.ioiulis, aud is a well man to-day, being entirely cured of s most pronounced case of Bri^ht's disease. , Although conscious of the consequence* from hiH professional brethren, still aa a duty te his fellow-men, and according to a vow he niads on what he thought wan his dying bed, he pub­ lished a card detailing his illness and remsirkar bio cure. "Sino© my recovery." he saysy "I have thoroughly reinvestigated the eubjest of kidney difficulties and Bri^ht's disease, and I behove more um> half thv tieailui which occur in America arc cnus«l by Bright'b dis­ ease of Qui kidneya. It has no distinctive symp­ toms of its own (indeed it often develops with­ out any pain whatever iu the kulneya or their vicinity), but h»s tho xyniptoms of every other known complaint Hundred* at people die daily whowf burial* arc aiUlioriztxl by a pbyw- cian's <ertificateof 'Heart DiKeaae,' 'Apoplexy,' ' Paralysis," Spinal Complaint,' ' Rhenmatiam.' ' Pneuruouia' and other common complaints, when in reality it was Blight's disease of the kidnevs. Few physicians, and 1 ewer people, realize the ustent of this dineaso or its danger­ ous and insidious nature. It steals into the system hka a tbicf, manifests its preseaos by tbe commonest uynip.omei, and fastens itself upon tho life before the victim is aware. It is wbvwas traabisd < sod liver. Boon*^. --~y*" ""••• • .if -rr iw>6<ii»' . •• • .• ,S i d< JIDSWWtH!* flfPli feft ' At Detro* Prew "TtMmfaoW."] HOKXNX Fnrrrna --Take two fills of cold hffitai hominy, one cup sweat milk, four teaspoonfula of flour..» little salt and one ̂ gg; b4at vigorously and drop with.* spoon into hot lord; fi|f until brown. Rice can be used instcaH of hominy. * CKACKB* GKTDAWS CaxBs.--Onet>iij& oi axaaksi dt*st; the polks ol two eggs : thin with milk, and when it swells adi move milk Until the fight oonfostency; •alt, and when ready to bake add tija white* of the egga beaten stiff, OiSTER PIB.--Take two cans of oy* tefs, and having lined a small baking pan with $»agte, ptttia a layer of. oysters, then a layer of doagh aud the remainder of the oysters; seasou with plenty of bdtter; pepper and salt to taste - pons •44,-. ' e-'m nearly as hereditary *H consumption, quite as common and fully an fatal. Entire families, inheriting it from their ancestors, have died, and yet none of tho number knew or realized the uiyMuuiouH jnjwei which was removing them. Instead of common symptoms ix often1 shows none whatever, but brings death Huddefr­ aud as suoh is usually *uppoaed to be heart ly and a disease.* The second article, entitled " Exeft ernes t in Eoohester," wm made up of interviews with Dr. Henion iiioiself, who confirmed all said in bis card, and alwo with Mr. H. H. Warner. The. latter gcutlemansiid not regard Dr. Henion's esse as pirtieuUuiy exceptional, because he had known of very many such cures by tbe same means in all parts of the land. Kiduoy dis­ eases, ho said, are carrying off tens of thousands every year, while Bright'a disease is increasing 260 per cent a decade, and yet the people do not realize it or seek to cheek it until too late. He related how a New Orleans medical pro­ fessor, lecturing on this disease, thinking to show his class what healthy fluids were, sub­ jected some of his own to a chemical test, and, although he had no suspicion of it before, dis­ covered that he, too, had the dreaded disease* which proved fatal 111 less than a year. There was al*) i&n interview with the celebrated chem­ ist of the New York Htato .Board of Health, Dr. 8. A. Lattimore, who mud he bod analyzed the remedy whioh cured Dr. Honion, aud found that it was "entirely free from any pononons or deleterious substances," We have made these condensations iu order that all the material facts may be set before our readers. Since U10 publication of tbw;e »wo articles, having been besieged with letters of inquiry, we sent a communication to Dr.IIt-nion and also one to H. H. Warner & Co.. asking if any additional proof oould be given us ss to the validity of the statements published. In answer thereto we have received tho following letters, whioh add interest to the entire subject and wholly verify eveiy statemeut hitherto made: BOCH'KBTER, K. Y., Feb. 2, 1882. •garrunmi: Your favor is moeived. The published statement, over my signature, to whioh you refer is trae in every respect, aud I owe my life and present health wholly to tbe power of Warners Safe Kidney andliiver (Jure. It is not surprising that people should ques­ tion the statement I made, for my recovery was as great a uiarvd to myself as to my phy- sicittus and friends, ken*1 Ordway Sioux Crricftom WW, THE CHICAGO Over all of its principal tines, rnn8«»£ • Trains. It is the only ro»«t west otClp IMPERIAL Pater. It fa the 011) v road "list runs •'11"',in,'faroe nearly 3,OdO Mlles'of Rond- <'««ncil Bluffs, Denver * CalHortiia If Sioux Oitv, N«r Nebraska A \ankton Northern Illinois. Frec)>ort A Dulmq^ Jim Uiver Valley, Pierre & Oeartwoot Tickets over this ruwl are Remember to ask tor Tickets via tui GenM Manager, Cblc^ in the liquortofi. ti|e ayatoiw, «wpgh^; crust and bakeT make a good gravy. the N Remember 1 J 9. LAYHO. -- i"»ti itod SMALL POX w rlet Kever and Diplithsrta P*^ ured by the use of ^ BROMO-CiiLORALti Kearlet Kever and Diplithsrta an<i cured by the use of _ by ver Used In Hospitals of N®*. ?_»'(£«Jnto Philadelphia, BaItimore, Wssb ngton^n to go. New Oi leans, and other citiea. <1.^ Patients should has . , ing to directions, several » r«»l virus of tbe disesnc is by this intans ™ ^ dodge, etc., etc. I beg, therefore, to anticipate any further inquiries, and save time and labor ami sow* pp*tag<% by saying that- the statemeut of Dr. Heuion is true, so far as it oonoarns myself, BucKwHBAtf̂ CAjfcs. --tOfce qwart «l btwkwlieat jhMl, obepm* af Soar, half a teaoapful oft Jpe*k; saltto toata ICx the fiour, buoKwheiit, a»4 aalk with as much water, moderately warm, as will make '4Hnto a tSitiihatAi#. Beat it well, Uiofl sJfld the'yoafrfc; when well niixed adt it in a maitot |>l«pe t« ruie. As soon aur they are very light grease .tbe griddle mid bake them to a delicate brown, but- ver them with pood butter and eat while hot -» ' . a . ...r h • ' ORAHOE I^BssaiBr. --This delioious eom- popud, u> bf eaten coljl with cake, ia nnule t»v pariug five or six oranges, and then cutting' them in thin slices; then ©qui; a cap of pulverized sugar over them; boil one pint of milk; when Hoard­ ing hot add the yolk 'bf three eggs aud bne fccaspoonfril 'of starch, which mnht Unit be^rubbed amootli iu a little cold milk; stir one way, and wlien thick, pour it over the orange s, beat the whites of the eggs to a'frost, ftdd a spoonful of powered sugar; put this icing in irregu­ lar heaps over the granges; place in the oveja to bro^yn., CBFMPKTB --Mii a 4iart of good milk with water to make a batter; add a little salt, an egg, and a teaapoouful of good yesu9t;?beat well, cover it up and let it stand in a worm plaoe to riae. Clean the niuflin-plate; or, not having this, a fry­ ing pan, while warm, over the fire, and rub it with a greased doth or a little but* ter tied up in u piece of muslin; pour a cupiul of btttte«jr uito the pun or on the platS; «» it begini to bskbimiae the edge all around with a sharp knifo. Wh«|i one aide is done, turn and bake the other side. Crumpets two generally now poured into proper Bized ring of tin, which makes them all of it sine and thickness. To MAIOS A OtSH, A nice dish for sti$per i3 meftife of gW9e4 or Irish po- tatoes, which have bt^en left fmm dinner (either baked or boilecty. Slice them, but hdt in Very thin slices, lay in a bak­ ing tin or*pudding d ah, aedoover eash layer with little lumps of butter and with pepjper and sail. > If you like the flavor oi jjort put two or three thm slfces'of salt 'Ifcrk on the top. Bake for half aft hour.1 • Raw potatoes may be prepared in the smiRe way, but will re- 'quire a longer tim«| to bake them. To givo an excellent flavor to warmed-over potatoes take some of the Cat that you cut from slices *>f beefsteak, fry in the pan till you have as much grease as you need, then take out the scraps and put in the potatoes. This is better ten butter. MASHED'SMIT Coi».^--Take some salted codfish, that has been nyaked for at least twenty-four hours. Boil it in plain cold water, drain it, carefully pit* oat nil the skin and bones and separate the fish into small flakes. Pat the flakes into a basin, and york them with a fork until every fluke is broken into little pieces. Rub a saucepan freely with garlib, put the fish and "a small quantity of fine salad oil into it, stir well with a fork. Place the atiucepau on a very low fire, and never cease stirring the contents; pour into it salad oil and milk alternately, in the smallest. po*sib£e quantities, but contiquously, until fhe mixture assumes the appearance of a thick, creamy paste. Season with white pepper add some lemdn juice, and never leave off stirring; for it is upon the thoroughness of this operation that tl}f\ spooesa of the dish depeq^s.,, Serve pUed on p yith bread sippets fried'in butter. '/ • »'*r /it , , . , 1 . : , , Kats and Cockroaches on Board of Ship. ' The tAiturnl history of a voyage would be incomplete, however, without some reference to those old nautical mess- wat^s, ^ats and cockroaches. Bats fre­ quently ascend the rigging, and when discovered aloft the word is given, and the unhappy rodent hits to run the gauntlet of marlingspikcs held by will- iug hands below, I have notioed several cases of apparel)t suicide by the rat on 'these occasons; it seemed to spring overboard from the rigging when it bad descended akaost to toe shrouds, where enemies were ̂ stationed aud cut off its escape. I have a(so seep jt apparently spring pverboard when pursued by my dog, the action appearing of a voluntary natiire. My dog Was a small Italian greyhound, presumably of pure breed, and th^ las^ wtimai that cc»uld l>e consid­ ered "gqtjd for va'n-" Jlowever, t>uch was the cose, and a "jfew of these trapped rodents in an empty beef cask provided • always-a moment «"f ewgtiteuent for this little aihl uniikely-iook ing dog. > Tim explanation I t^k^ l>e this : It is a custom to cross l>luck-and-tan;terriers with the Italian greyhound to increase the length of the'nriSe, ntid this lias gone on for some time, ^sjiociidly iu breeding the "so-called "toy" terriers My little grevhound" Mt^h probacy Bad terrier blood, and ftibi ritefl l* instinct." Bat»« seem to increase in temerity with the length of the voyage* and their presence in time beoopies less objectionable.. Be­ fore the voyage was fiuinisiied I quite lost tbe repugnance I at first felt when ; they sometimes rati acriiRs my ln>d at night. As regards the ubiquitous cwk- roaches (BicUta #p.) I learned to forget their depredations in arfmiraiioq of their tenacity of life. Beutiett records these insects As drinkifig the ink, and,' ss far as my experience goes, nothing comes amiss to them Certainly, when they were found eatuig my arsenical soap* and apparently with immuuity, I gave Up all attempts at extirpating tliem irom my cabin. At intervids the cock­ roaches would 11 v about (iu^ivg tlie night, and this I considered more Uisagree,»»de than the visits 6f rats'" They, however, only took wing At rare inte'ivals, and i have met vitta * no'explanation of thai habit. Dt-jSi^man, in his "A Mission to A iti, . states that at Piji 00c hrouehec so swarm in some vessels tliat they, have to be iunk'Uudfer the water to free them from the jjeAt. --London Finld. m oar Bwwmrih consists ia ay. pliahmant of our desires aud Uii>, 41, r t "i J' , *• "if '