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McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 14 Nov 1883, p. 6

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i mm McHENRY, ** 1H - t < * •%•*». £j'"' r'w I. VAN tLVIQU MMar M PnMMmk. - - -h •**'" ILLINOIS. ***ABJK oroou). ^ .•whawt--a Koldeh houijf - ftlowftir antnmn day; ' • >»iu»rise, ere tbe«ttm«t, •' - - . |»Mt it on my way. en I sat and loitered short chain of such great OML >. >ina idlv through my tince™ 0 1.' • ,t my golden liour was lost? ^ v Vm it talking to my neighbors. Worthing al 11 heir hopes and calM, ted too full of idle gossip Well to mind my own affairs? Did I fret away the minntes? Was I murmuring? Was I cross? Where could all my sense have flow* tot That I met with such a loss? SP-TPR. li For my hour was a jewel, And with sixty small ones set; Sound each minute sixty cfeoonds llade the radiance brighter yet. They could buy me, oh, what richt*! And what wisdom could they bring! Bach was worth in its true value, All the jewels of a king. For the Lord would give me sometl (If I went to him) for eaotn >, how precious those sli "e can in a minute teach. 'Oh, how grand those views of glo<§ft •" Which* second can make knowM Oik my hour! oh, my minutes! Never more, alas, my own. • Some I might 1J«IVC well invested, . Other people's lives to bless; s Those bright moments wisely tram% Fnrchase healing for distress. Ok, has anybody seen it? Been my precious hour of gold? ' •: I would go to buy another, But such treasures are not sold.:" v ~ God prepared for me a number,' Just how few I do not know; DM He give them for no parpose, ' Bnt that I should lose them so? AIL II6LY GIRL'S ROMANCE. December 3.--To-day Cousin Adele ; . said a strange thing to me. We were fitting before the fire, she with her last ibaby on her lap, Cousin Matie and I "with oar fancy work, Matie, as usual, 'crocheting a shawl. I wonder how many shawls Matie has crocheted. ; We were speaking of the nearest ap- . proaeh of the holidays, and Cousin ^ Adele, looking at the calendar that . hangs above the judge's desk, suddenly : exclaimed; '"Bo-morrow will be the 4th, Mr. •Scudder's day. I wonder whether he will be as punctual as usual?" 4'! "I saw Mrs. Hictehly at Canby's this morning," said Matie. "She seemed to • be laying in quite a stock of groceries, if that can be considered any sign." "He will fall in love with Grace this year," said Adele laughing, and looking at me. "If he does you shall marry i him, Grace." The idea of anybody falling in love with me was so absurd, and yet so de­ lightful, I must confess it--delightful, alas! that it should be also absurd-- that I felt my heart beat fast and my 'U*:~ cheeks burn. I was bitterly ashamed of being thrown into such confusion by a careless jest, but nobody can control > the action of that automatic muscle, -- i whose motions are easily disturbed. It was some time before I could sum- '*•*', mon courage to look up, but when I did I discovered that I need not have felt so shy. Cousin Adele was inspecting the bald head of the infant judge, and Matie was busily counting her stitches. ? Neither of them had noticed my foolish blushes. Matie finished counting her hundred £ and fifty stitches before saying, with her •{ , quiet smile: •AuA. "Last year it was Miss Martin was it not?" . m' 'r "No, Miss Hart: Miss Martin was the year before. The year before that it S was the little widow from Georgia." * "I wonder how many women he pro- Si poses to in the course of a year," said % Matie. I suppose he keeps up his pur­ suit wherever he happens to be; there is always some eligible women around, -even if he is on the plains." "One every three months would make :four a year," computed Adele. "His • wife has been dead five year; at that 'Tate, allowing him six months for •.mourning, he must have invited eigh­ teen women to take her place. Poor man." "Poor man, indeed!" cried Matie. - "Why his heart is a perfect harem." "But you don't know that he has pro­ posed to so many," I ventured to sug­ gest moved to defend this unfortunate gentleman. "No," Matie confessed, "I don't Actually know it; but the probabilities are that he has. It seem to be the principal pursuit of his life." "Did he propose to you?" I asked. • "Of course not; he has only seen me twice, and besides uader the circum­ stances, even he would hardly make himself so bold. Matie has been engaged so long «he thfiiks everybody knows of it. "But what is the matter with the man that maids and widow all refuse him?" "Oh, he's horrid!" replied Matie, disdainfully. "He is not!" exclaimed Adele, with 1; warmth. 'He is really very nice, and ' a perfect gentleman. Girls are so fool­ ish." "Married women always side with re­ jected men," retorted Matie. "I won­ der why?" "Not always; but when they do, it's because they are better judges of men than girls are. They know the points of a good husband." "Dear me!" exclaimed Matie; "I won­ der whether, after ten years' marriage, 1 shall find mytelf recommending a stout, griggled, slightly bald old gen­ tlemen as having the points of a good husband. I seems to l>e entirely a post- matrimonial taste. Girls never care lor the good husbandish sort of a man." "Of course not," retorted Adele, "'because, as I have just said, they are so foolish." Here the six predecessors of the present incumbent burst into the room, each trying to be the. first to impart some item of interest; and there was an end to peace and quiet for the morning. I like to record conversations. They give a dramatic flavor to the pages of my poor journal, aiul this one made a strong impression upon me, because of the manner of its introduction. I con­ fess I am curious to see this Mr. Scud- • der. A man so unfortunate appeals strongly to the spmpathies of one equally unappreciated. I never feel the disposition most girls manifest--to laugh at the woes of a rejected suitor. Human love seems to me too precious a thing to be recklessly thrown away, notwithstanding the pretty idea about its waters returning, making rich the heart whence they sprang. But then I am not one of those beau­ tiful women, sent forth like the angels of the Apocalypse with a commission to destroy. December 4.--I have seen him. He walked into the sitting-room this even­ ing with the privileged familiarity of an old friend, without waiting for the ser­ vant to announce him. A rather short, stout gentlemen, with a fresh complex­ ion, hair turning gray, and a disposition to be jolly. That is why Mattie dislikes him. She hates jolly men. Thank heaven, her "Joel is never jolly." For myself, I rather like them so. They make things bright and comfortable. This one in a moment, now, had shaken hands with everybody, tossed the babv, patted the dog. and sat down with the little '2-year-old on his knee. He has Elcasant gray eyes that twinkle when e laughs, and white, even teeth unde- filed by tobacco. Not handsome, cer­ tainly, but the kindest face! So kind that I should think a hungry dog might select him among a tliousaud as the one to whom to make appeal for a break­ fast. I think I see what has been the bar to his success. It is not only that there is nothing in him to appeal to a girl's fancy, but that he himself has no fan­ cy. He is as plain and practical as crow-bar; talks about the crops and the new railroads; his new dog, and his preparations and expectations for the season's hunting. It is for the hunting he is here. December 10.--A long time since opened my journal last, though I have had more than usual to record. I have been a great deal in company, and have seen a great deal of Mr. Scudder. Only at a distance, however, for he does not seem yet. to have discovered me. Last evening I saw him brought face to face With Miss Martin, Miss Hart and the little widow from Georgia, this last a widow no longer. This three-fold reminiscence of a ro­ mance did not disconcert him in the least. He daneed with the widow, con­ gratulated her new lord, and took the young ladies out to supper, looking with his fresh face floating as it were, between them, his legs being hidden by their draperies, like a stout little cher­ ub in evening dress, somewhat fallen into years. As Mattie says, a man who has to undergo "that sort of thing" every three months needs to hard a buoyant spirit. December 13.--He comes very often, but talks modestly to Cousin Adel. He has four children. He is a Catho­ lic. If he marries his wife must be of his religion. December 20.--He has fallen in love with Matie! December 22.--I have left Couaip Adele's. It was ridiculous to run away, but I could not remain. Ungrateful man! to pass over one who had taken pains to study and appreciate him, and bestow his regard upon one who laughs at him. After all, she may change her mind. He is a better match than Joel, and she has waited for him already nearly three years. I can see that Adele is eager for it. Of course my good sense tells me that I have no reason in the world to feel myself aggrieved, but in every woman there are two women, one practicable and amenable to reason, the other totally irrational, governed by feeling and fancy only. I try to ex- ibit only the reasonable woman, but I cannot entirely suppress the other. Truly, a girl who has lived in perpetual eclipse from two handsome sisters ought to be accustomed to her obscuri­ ty by this time. But Matie was not beautiful, only sweet and pleasant-looking. It is some satisfaction to think she will refuse him! Fortunately, Cousin Hermine had in­ vited me for Christmas, and the moment I discovered the state of affairs, I wrote to say I would come, and followed my letter by the next train. Love is like bread; some have it to throw away while others starve for a crust. It is not fair. Why should ugly girls have hearts--tender hearts that feel the sting of another's woe? Many times I hate wept for the des­ pairs of my beautiful sister's rejected lovers; yet they would have laughed, even in their misery, at the suggestion that I too had a heart worth winning. Alas! how little valued are human souls that are not wrapped in fair flesh. Dec. 27.--Matie is here. She came down this morning; Mr. Scudder did not come with her, nor has she men­ tioned his name except in the, most casual manner. She brought me a message from Adele to the effect that I am to return immediately. She will send to the depot for me on Saturday. I shall not go- Dec. 30.--I did come. Cousin Her­ mine is the soul of hospitality, but both she and Matie assumed so confi­ dently that I should leave on Saturday morning, that I had no choice but to fulfil their evident expectation. I felt myself literally turned out of the house, though in the gentlest and most court­ eous manner. At the depot I found--Mr. Scudder-- no less--driving his own horse in Cousin Adele's barouche. Her horse was lame, s;> she had borrowed his, and the owner had thrown himself in as a driver. ° For the first time, I think, the man really looked at me, and took some­ thing like an intelligent cognizance of my existence. I see through it all! It is a plot! I am to be the successor of Matie and the other eighteen. Matie \ has said: "I cannot marry you; I am engaged. Besides, I do not car© for you. But there is my poor, plain cousin Grace, who is really a good girl; she has never had an offer in her life; ask her; she is sure to accept, and yon will get a good wife, besides per­ forming a meritorious action." Very well! I too can say no. I shall complete the score of negations. January 2.--It is indeed true! I am really the dbject of a gentleman's at­ tentions ! Alas! but for Matie and the other eighteen, how delightful it woald be! He was the first to call yesterday, bringing me as a New Year's gift a case of cut-glass toilet bottles, filled with Derfumes. He stayed all day in the sitting-room, amusing himself with the children, when Adele and I were called away to the parlor. To a girl more sought after he would have been odious before night. He showed me the photographs of his children and talked fondly of them. I can imagine how the scornful lip of the cold Miss Martin must have curled when he showed them to her. I have often observed that the majority of men are very poor judges of women. January 5.--I have been to drive with liinv. He told me of his home in Milwaukee, let now to strangers, since he has no one to make it home to him. How movingly seductive that would be, if one did not know it to be the twientieth repetition. Heavens! it is terrible. If I could not be the first, which was clearly impossible, why might I not have come in a little ear­ lier? Why need ho have overlooked me for Matie? It is humiliating. I shall refuse him; that is certain. January 10.--And yet, why? Would it not be as if Tantalus should, with his own hand beat back the rising watei^ from his thirsty lips? The idea of a starving beggar throwing away offered bread, because another or twenty others who are well-fed have already declined it! Then there are the chil­ dren.' They would love me. Children always do. They are not so critical as to beauty. They love those who love them. I should be a person of some impor­ tance in society, too, for I can see he is a man of influence. Some people are important in themselves, like the larger pieces on a chess board; but the poor pawns must look to position if they would be of value. The life he leads is alluring, too, traveling a month or so of every year, not to fashionable resorts, but to quiet, lovely places among the mountains or the lakes. He has even been to Europe. Am I tempting myself? No, I must not yield. January 27.--It is done. Pride de­ manded it and I complied. I have re­ fused my first offer! I look at myself in the glass, and laugh and cry at the same moment: Alias! I am 28. I shall never have another. How surprised he looked. He had Hot counted upon that. I did it very well, I flatter myself, though my head swam and there was a buzzing in my ears. I said--let me record it--I said: "I am greatly obliged to you for your good opinion. I feel much flattered by it. I cannot accept your offer r how­ ever. I am resolved never to marry." Here the sad absurdity of the thing overcame me, and I buried my face in my handkerchief hysterically divided between laughter "and tears. I suppose he thought I was weeping over the memory of some former attachment. He looked at me a few minutes and then went softly away without speak­ ing. Perhaps when he thinks it over he will be glad of it. Alas! alas! I might have revenged myself better by accepting him. January 30.--He comes every day just as if nothing had happened. He looks curiously at me, but makes no al­ lusion to our last interview. I am con­ vinced he feels an increased respect for me, and I--at least I have vindicated the honorable pride of plain women. February 3.--Heavens! What a tu­ mult I am in! Let me write it quickly; the words obstruct my pen-point. I am engaged! Actually? As evi­ dence, on my finger gleams the prettiest little dewdrop of a diamond. When he put it on he said: "What a pretty little rosy finger," and he kissed my hand. Nobody ever did anything so nice to me before. This morning he came quite early in his buggy, with his gun and dog, and asked me to go hunting with him. It was a lovely morning. There was no reason why I should refuse, and I did not want to refuse, so I frankly did as I wished, and went. As we drove along he said: "You declined my offer the other day, but why did you cry?" I did not answer. "Were wra sorry--for me?" he asked, with a little pucker of his lips, and a certain emphasis that seemed to mean "or for yourself ?" For neither'yon nor myself," I said, so stung that I forgot he had not ut­ tered the words. "A woman is not obliged to tell why she cries, besides, I was laughing." "Yes, and crying at the same time; a little hysterical. Shall I tell you why?" I was very angry, but there was no escape. We were miles out on the prairie by that time. "You don't want to refuse me," he went on, "but you thought you must, because your Cousin Matie did, eh ?" I began an indignant deal, but he stopped me. "Never mind," he said, "I am not angry, and now let us wipe that all out and start again. Once more, Miss Mor­ ton, permit me to offer you my hand and heart." "Excuse me," I said stiffly, "I have not changed my mind." "Tell me truly what is in your mind," he urged. "Why do yon refuse me? Tell me; I shall not be angry." "You do not love me," I exclaimed, impulsively. "You do not even pretend to, and of course I could not believe you even if you did. It would be out of the question after all the others to whom you have made the same offer." He laughed in the jolliest manner. I was awfully offended. "My dear child," he said, "what do you expect ? Even as a young man I was not of a romantic turn of mind, and years have not lessened my practicality. I proposed to my wife after a week's ac­ quaintance, simply telling her that if she liked me well enough to marry me, I would do my best to be a good hus­ band. We were very happy, and grew fonder of each other the longer we lived together. Since her death I have been lost and broken up. I have been for some time looking about for a new partner. I have make overtures to sev­ eral, but the investment did not meet their views. They had other projects. Your cousin spoke of you as one abso­ lutely free. You have to thank yourself that I had not thought of you. You are so shy, and hide yourself away so that a man had to enert himself to find you out. As soon as I had studied you a little I saw that you suited me better than any woman I had met. Now how does the case stand ? I am much in need of somebody to pet; you are not altogether happy. Why can't we make a joint stock of our separate discontents, and draw from them a dividend of united happiness ?" Just here a flock of birds started up from the brush by the roadside. The trained horse stopped, and, dropping the reins, he seized his gun and fired so quickly that it seemed impossible he should have hit anything, but two birds fell among the bushes, and the dog plunged eagerly in after them. He sprang out and walked to the roadside to receive them. Returning presently with his game, he said, smilingly: "I seem to be a better marksman with the shot-gun than with Cupid's bow." "Perhaps your aim with the last is a little wild," I replied, returning his smile. "Perhaps so," he said, and relapsed into silence. "Well," he said after a time, "what are vou thinking of?" "i was thinking," I confessed, "that perhaps the other nineteen had made a mistake." "Nineteen!" he said, laughing. "Kock off fourteen, won't you? Only five, on my honor; the five foolish vir­ gins, but the sixth is wise.--New Or­ leans Times. SOCIETY is the atmosphere of souls; and we necessarily imbibe from it some­ thing which is either infectious oc healthful.--Hal{ <i»LP 8ATBTCM. Origin of Some Popular PfcMMM. # Crosspateh.--"Patch" was at one time a term of odhtempt. It did not, as Paris suggests, necessarily mean a fool, but signified what we now mean by a contemptible fellow. Shakspeare, in "Midsummer Night's Dream," says: A crew of patches, base mechanicals. "Crosspateh" is the only remnant of the word. It is very expressive of a cross, ill-tempered, disagreeable person. Mad as a March Hare.--A familiar saying found in Skilton's "Reply Against Certayne Young Scholars" (1520), and also in Heywood's "Prov­ erbs" (1546). Burden of a Song.--"Bourdon" is the drone of a bagpipe, hence a running ac­ companiment or repetition of musical sounds or words is called the "hnr- den." Sadder and a Wiser Man.--This phrase is from the "Ancient Mariner," by Coleridge: » . A sadder and a wiser man < He rose the morrow morn. balderdash.--Originally the or lather made by barbers in dashing balls of soap backwards and forwards in hot water. ' Bubbly spume or barbers halderdash. --Xathe, 2599. • * Malaprop, Mrs. -A character in Sher­ idan's comedy of "The Rivals," noted for her blunders in the use of words. The name is obviously derived from the French mal a propos, anapt, ill- timed. _ Every One to His Own Taste.--A literal translation of the French prov­ erb, Chacun a son gout. It is generally used satirically, as, "Well, I didn't think* he would associate with people of that kind; but (with a shrug), every one to his own taste." Whisky.--The stuff itself was origin­ ally an Irish manufacture, and was called usquebaugh (pronounced us- ktve-baw), from uisge--water, and beatha--life. It meant "the water of life." The reason the last syllable was omitted may be that its use oftener led to death than to life. It was called usque, and finally spelled whisky. Folded Their Tents Like the Arabs. ---Longfellow, in his poem "The Day is Done," wrote the verse from which this now very common saying was taken: And the night shall be filled with mnsio, And the cares that infest the day Shall fold their tents like the Arabs, And as silently steal away. Siesta.--This Spanish term for a nap in the day-time has become completely naturalized in this country. The Span­ ish nap is usually taken about noon, which, in their reckoning, is the sixth hour (sesta). Hence in Spanish sestear is to take the mid-day nap, and aes tea- dor is the room appropriated for the purpose, usually on the north side of the house. Sambo.--A cant designation of the/ negro race. The following passage, immortalizing the appellation, is from Harriet Beecher Stowe: "No race has ever shown such capabilities of adapta­ tion to varying soil and circumstances as the negro. Alike to them the snows of Canada, the hard rock land of New England or the gorgeous profusion of the Southern States, Sambo and Cuffy expand under them all." Faint Heart Never Won Fair Lady.-- This is a very old proverb. In a "Proper New Ballad in Praise of My Lady Marynes," printed in 1639, are these lines: Then have unonsrst ye once again, Faint harts faire ladies never win. In "Britain's Ida," by Spenser, Canto v., Stanza i., the second line reads: Oh, fool! faint heart fair lady never could win. Cheers But Not Inebriates.--Cowper used this phrase in reference to tea, but it had been previously applied by Bishop Berkley to tar-water. In his work "Siris," paragraph 217, the Bishop says: "Tar-water is of a nature so mild and benigh, and proportioned to the human constitution, as to warm with­ out heating, to cheer but not inebriate, and to produce a calm and steady joy, like the effect of good news." Standing iu Another's Shoes.--In an article on "Legal Usages Among the Ancient Northmen," in Bayley's graphic illustration (London, 1834), it is said "The right of adoption obtained one form of it consisted in making the adopted put on the shoes of the adopter. It has been asked whether our phrase of 'standing in his shoes, may not owe its origin to this custom." The Moonshiner's Hogs. The thoughtful provision of this moonshiner for his hogs reminds one that the hog sometimes is himself a guide for the revenue officers. Your toper is not more fond of the product of the still than is this useful animal of its residuum of slops and refuse. Not long ago a drove of fine porkers were driven to market in a southern city. Their route led past a registered distil­ lery, and with a celerity which rivaled that of their relatives in Bible story who "ran down n steep place into the sea," they broke column for the succu­ lent slops. A revenue officer standing by asked the driver, "Where did you buy them hogs ?" On investigation it was found that the mountaineer in charge of their education had main­ tained an unregistered distillery in a tranquil spot, which would no doubt have escaped the vigilance of the "rev* enues," but for the inconsiderate and ungrateful conduct of the pigs. A deputy marshal carelessly saun­ tered into the front yard of a citizen who was a suspect, but against whom there was no inculpatory proof. "I found a blockade still down there on a branch," said the deputy. "What branch? I know nothing about it," re­ plied the honest yeomanry. "What sort of a looking place is it?" "Nothin' perticklar,' said the deputy, drawing a powder-begrimmed Smith & Wesson, and wiping it on his coat-tail. "There were some mighty fine hogs there, and I shot 'em accordin' to law. It is a pity that meat don't belong to nobody." "Je-rusalem!" bewailed the innocent one. "Yer hain't shot them 'sliotes,' hev ye?" and with that he made a bee- line for the still-house, of whose exist­ ence a moment before he had been su­ premely unconscious. It is perhaps unnecessary to say that his "shotes" were in their usual health, and were clamorous for their accustomed bever­ age.--Atlanta Constitution. The Model Patient Man of the Bay. George Mexcur, a middle-aged farmer of Bloomfield, takes the prize as a patient man. After nine years of as­ siduous work he has just completed a writing-desk and book-case combined, that contains BO many thousand pieces of wood that it was found next to im­ possible to keep the number exact. Fifty-two kinds of wood were used in this unique piece of furniture, and there is scarcely a square inoh that is not inlaid. The designs are of a very wide irange, and take in animals, flowers, trees, agricultural implements, article* of household use, eto. The novelty oj the thing is that every bit of inlaying ^as done with a jack-knife, and Mr. Mexcur says he wore out nineteen blades im the work.--Hartford Courant. Origin of Postoffloes. Couriers for carrying royal or gov­ ernment dispatches are mentioned in histories of the earliest times. Royal posts exhisted in Assyria,Persia, Greece and Rome. The name postoffico origi­ nated in the posts, or stations, at intervals along the roads of the Roman Empire, where couriers were kept in readiness to start on the instant. But such posts were not used for tran- mitting private letters. The first post­ al system for commercial and private correspondence appears to have Leen established between the Hanse Towns early in the thirteenth century. In the reign of the Emperor Maximilian I., of Germany, letter posts were estab­ lished by the Princes of Thurn and Taxis, connecting the chief cities of Aus­ tria and Lombardy, and later, 1516, the same Prince connected Vienna and Brussels in the same way. Maximilian's successor, Charles V., encouraged still further extension of tfiis private postal system by repeated enfeoffments or special franchises, until all the great commercial centers of his vast empire, from Vienna to Madrid, from the Adri­ atic to the Nerth Sea, and intervening places, were brought into regular postal communication. Far back in the twelfth century the University of Paris, whose students, gathered from all civilized na­ tions, numbered not long after this over 25,000, employed foot-runners to carry letters for its members to all parts of Europe. But not until 1524 was permission granted to the royal French posts to carry other letters than those for the Government and no­ bility. London merchants established a postal communication of their own with France and other countries as early as the fifteenth century, and it is evident that, although the royal post of England established in the thirteenth century was intended and long restrict­ ed to the transmission of Government dispatches only, it had gradually be­ come a vehicle for private correspond­ ence. In 1581 Thomas Randolph was appointed the "Chief Postmaster" for England, with authority to establish and supervise post-houses and regulate the fees charged by postmen, but ap­ parently without authority to receive and handle mail matter, which was left largely to the discretion of the postmen themselves. Not until the time of James I., of England, was a postmaster for foreign parts appointed, and steps taken by the Government to establish regular running posts, going day and night, for the transmission of letters for the gen­ eral public. In 1635 such a mail was established to run weekly between Lon­ don and Edinburgh, and soon eight other lines were instituted. In this country, Massachusetts pro­ vided by legislation for the postal sys­ tem as early as 1639, and Virginia in 1657. A monthly post between Boston and New York was instituted in 1672. In the beginning, letters arriving in this country from beyond the seas were delivered on board the ship. Letters not called for were left by the Captain at a coffee­ house near the wharf, where they were spread on a table or shelf, awaiting call. Persons calling not only took charge of their own letters, but of those of ac­ quaintances in their neighborhood, either delivering them in person or leaving them at the minister's or some magistrate's office to be inquired for, or announced in church. These coffee­ houses gradually grew into common use for letters between cities and the interiors, until regular posts were in­ stituted. One of the first acts of the Continental Congress was the estab­ lishment of a general postoffice depart­ ment, and the appointment of Benjamin Franklin, who had enjoyed large ex­ perience in the British colonial postal service as the first Postmaster General. --Chicago Inter-Ocean. Salt as a Remedy for Dyspepsia. The Shaker Manifesto has the fol­ lowing: "Haifa teaspoonful of com­ mon table salt dissolved in a little cold water and drank will instantly relieve heartburn or dyspepsia. If taken every morning before breakfast, increasing the quantity gradually to a teaspoonful to a glass of water, it will in a few days cure any ordinary case of dyspepsia,"ii at the same time due attention is paid to the diet. There is no better remedy than the above for constipation; no bet- tie gargle for sore throat. It is equal to chlorate of potash, and is entirely safe. It may be used as often as desired, and if a little is swollowed each time it will have a beneficial effect on the throat by cleansing it and allaying the irritation. In doses of one to four tea- spoonfuls in half a pint to a pint oi tepid water it acts promptly as an emetic; and in cases of poisoning is al­ ways at hand. It is an excellent reme­ dy for bites and stings of insects. It is a valuable astringent for hemorrhages, particularly for bleeding after extract­ ing a tooth. It has both cleansing and healing properties, and is therefore an excellent application for superficial ul­ ceration." Rustic New England In Old England. While in England I caught a man in Windsor Forest who spoke to me in the intonations of rustic New England. He was simply of the old stock, and was speaking in the old tongue they brought over to them to Boston. It is going home to the old nest; i| is finding the old steadfast human heart and life; it is face matching face and eye matching eye and footstep matching footstep across the gulf of 200 years. For we all go home who cross the sea and find out afresh how one day may be to us also as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day, so deep and sure are the roots of this grand old hie of the English-speaking race.--Robert Col- Iyer. ' Some Eggsamples. If a hen has to Bet three weeks on a healthy egg to hatch a chicken, how , long will she have to set on a door- j knob to hatch a keyhole ? . | If a hen can lay an egg in nineteen j minutes, how long will it take a ship to "lay two" if she loses no time ? If two unhealthy eggs smell as bad as a slaughter house, how many slaughter houses will it take to equal an old maid's breath ?--Carl Pretzel's Weekly. THE great Townsend chimney at Glasgow, which towers above its neigh­ bors as they do above the town at their feet, is 468 feet high, and contains 1,400,000 bricks. CAPT. B. POWELL, of Micanopy, Fla., has a scuppernong grape arbor 200 feet long And 30 feet mde, from which he gathered over a, hundred bushels oi i fruit this year. A SEBXON UNDER DIFFICULTIES. BsporlMM* of a P»mlwi la » WaiUagtw Territory Town* nutter from Portland (Ore.) News.] Port Gamble has distinctive features of its own. The town site, hotel, store and mill are owned by the mill company and no business can be opened without their consent. The one hall is used for Rcliool-house, church and theatre. Nearly all companies that play the cir­ cuit take in Port Gamble. The com­ pany's hotel is run by a "queer genius" known as Jim," a burly, big Missou- rian of six feet two, 235 pounds and a squeaky, thin, falsetto voice. He is far- famed for good nature, wit and eccen­ tricity; is everybody's friend among the boys, whom he effectually leads by the noses. A Seattle minister once had a notice posted about town that divine service would be held on a certain Sun­ day. There are few women in the place, and not a soul climbed the school-house hill to be saved. The minister waited three-quarters of an hour, then sadly wended his way to the hotel. The of­ fice, bar andbilliard-rbom were crowded with mill hands and loggers, rough in dress and speech, ail smoking, swearing, drinking, etc. Just inside the door sat Jim at a poker game. To him the min­ ister complained that no one had come to hear him preach. Jim was in for fair play at once. He said to the sad- faced divine: "All right, stranger; jest you go back np the hill, and I'll make these fellers come up an' give ye a show. Jest you shinny right along an' don't fret, an' I'll tote 'em up. thar quicker'n greased lightnin'." His reverence retired, and Jim called out: "Say, all you fellers, hold up. There's a gospel sharp up to the meetin' house says 'taint fair; we ain't give him no show. I 'low 'taint neither; bein's he's served notice on us two weeks, an' come on from Clamtown (Seattle) 'cordin' to contract. Come on now, all you duffers, an' tote yerselves up thar. Put up them dice, you fellers; bar's shet till after meetin'. Come on, Joe Hawks; you're the worst old sinner in this camp. You need mendin' more'n any of us, I reckon. Stop them bil­ liards yonder. Ought to be ashamed o' yerselves, playin' when there's a preacher in town. March out o' here! Git! Lock the door, Bill, an' you see you come right on up, too. Take off that apurn first; and none o'you cuttin' up in meetin', or you wont sling no more drinks over my bar, I tell yer!" He drove every man out and before him like a flock^ of sheep, up the hill to ".meetin' house," where all of them had been "to Bee the show" the night before. When he arrived he headed the gang of loggers and roughs, and walked up to the minister. "Here we be, mister. Hats off, fellers. Dan Higgins, can't you set down, or have ye got a bile? Set down, I tell <.ye! Now, mister, you let go at em. They're a lot of onery crit­ ters, anyhow, and ye kin just go for the whole possy. And not a face wore a smile. The 'good mafti read a chapter and said a prayer, but couldn't sing. He timidly asked some of the brethren to lead a hymn. None of the brethren respond­ ed, but all looked at Jim. He was equal to the occasion. "Frank Harris, you kin sing. Shell out some o' them songs o' yourn." Frank Harris said he only knew "Nancy Lee," and "Bango Was His Name." Well, them songs ain't no good fer a meetin' house; bet­ ter for loggin' camp, I reckon. Tom Kerrish, I 'low you know Inore about hyms, bein's most Scotch fellers is church folks. Sing out now, and all you duffers as kin, jine into the chorus," and Jim began beating time vigorously. Tom Kerrish hemmed and coughed to clear his throat, and started in with "Auld Lang Syne." Jim nodded to the "fellers" here and there until the entire crowd, one by one, "jined into the chorus" lustily. When the last verse was reached everybody was singing, and at a sign from Jim Tom started in again, and they sung the whole song through twice, beating time with their boots and keeping perfectly decorous. At the close the irrepressible Jim spoke out: "Now give it to'em, mister, red- hot, but cut it short. Most of 'em has evenm ." xne minister did "giv 'eih," and the men listened with re­ spectful attention. When through the spokesman again officiated. "Can't none o' you sainyors sing no more? Well, I 'low ye kin put up, if he can't sing. Give us yer tile, mister," and taking the divine's hat he proceeded to levy contributions from each man. '•'Come down, now, all you duffers, a man can't come from Clamtown for nothin' to save yer onery souls. Dan Higgins, you old sinner, you won the last pot to-day; sling in that fiver, lively; Tom Kerrish, you kin git off with four bits. Thet was » right good hymn o' your'n. Bill, I 'low you don't git off less'n two an' a half, bein's ye git more free drinks 'n any feller here," and so on all around, until every man had "put up," and the hat was full. Putting a $10 gold piece on top, he handed the "tile" back, and said: "Well, mister, we're obleeged. I reck­ on the boys has done the square thing. I 'low you don't take in no such pot as this every day; meetin's out, fellers. Good day, mister," and the entire crowd, without further ceremony, went back to cards, billiards and drinks, as though nothing had happened. This is not a Western yarn, but an o'er true tale. Etching White-fish. • Formerly the capture of the species was effected solely by seines, but the wholesale destruction that has been wrought by these engines, especially at the breeding-season, has caused them to be superseded by gill and pound- nets, as being better adapted to deep waters and at the same "time more cer­ tain and deadly. Gill-nets are used in "gangs," six ordinary nets "buckled" together constituting a "gang," and are sunk at considerable depths, miles from the shore, and frequently in two and three hundred fathoms of water,--par­ ticularly off the Fox Islands of Lake Michigan,--being held in an upright position by means of an array of floats on the upper border, counter-balanced by sinkers on the bottom; they are also anchored at the ends and at frequent intervals, to avoid drifting. "Gangs" are visited every second or third day in summer, and at least once a week in winter, the captives secured, and the nets dried, mended, and set again. They are frequently lost or entirely destroyed by storms and floating ice, and when adrift prove a serious means of destruc­ tion, as they may be driven hither and thither for months, or even for yearsi constantly entangling the finny tribes in their toils, from which there is no escape but death. I have known such a gang to be recov­ ered after a lapse of half a dozen years, | in BO remarkable a state of pTeserva- I tion aa to be capable of working untold injury for as many years to oomiw Owing to the constantly-decreasing numbers of fish, "pound-nets" have as­ sumed gigantic proportions, so that it is no unusual occurrence to see threfc or four miles of water enclosed--fenced off, as it were--by a single "leader," which is attached andt supported b# heavy piles driven for the purpose; they yield fair profits, but are a sou roe of constant annoyance and disoomfort to fisherman in a small wa?. Robbing an Eagle's Nest. vy When he got to the "pond," as tl^ place where the eyrie is built is locally known, he found that fortune had favored him in this, that neither of the old birds were at home; but at the same time he found that it would be a difft> cult matter to get at the nest. Imm«> diately above the "pond" was a greol ledge of rock, which completely ovef* hung the eyrie; so that the cragsma% suspended in the air on the same levtfl as the nest, found himself still ten or twelve feet from it. He at once signaled to those above to be hauled up to this ledge, and that having been done ht cautiously climbed down its face, which had a sharp inward slope, until he gq| upon the same run of strata as thai upon which the nest was built. By fol­ lowing an open Beam just wide enough to admit his fingers he managed at lag| to Scramble into the "pond,"' when probably human foot had never been set before. In the rocky chamber in which he never found himself he could hardly stand upright; he, therefore: went round on his knees to the back of the nest. There were two pretty : ,eaglets in the eyrie, and when they safr the strange intruder they buried their ' heads below the whooly lining of th* ^ nest and remained perfectly still. Oil lifting the eaglets out of the nesfL ' though only a fortnight old, they wer« so large and well grown that only on* would go into the fishing basket. Th| cragsman was considering how he could get the other to the top of the cliff when a warning shout from above told him that one of the old birds was an*- proaching. It was the female bird, which apparently was determined to show fight in defence of her young. She came through the air straight for the eyrie, like a "flash of lightning," and the cragsman had barely time to throw himself on his back into thf deepest recess of the "pond" and dra# his revolver when the infuriated eagle was upon him. She made one tremen* • dous but unsuccessful sweep at him . with talons and beak, and simultane­ ously he pulled the trigger of his re­ volver. The weapon, however, missetl fire. The eagle hovered outside for j» moment before renewing the attack, bul a shot from the revolver--the report of which was reverberated among th« rocks--effectually scared it to a distance of about two hundred yards, where it continued to circle in the air, yelping like a dog. It was by and by joined by the male bird, but neither of the eaglea again showed fight. The cragsman, having deposited one eaglet in his fish­ ing basket, took the other under hia left arm, and, having given the signal to his companions, swung himself out of the "pond" and was safely hauled^ UP--his perilous adventure successfully accomplished. Both the eaglets arj| still alive, and appear to be thriving well in captivity. They are fed three times a day on flesh and fish, and on" this diet are coming into very beautiful plumage.-- Pall Mall Gazette. A Blushing Indian Bride. Crowded in the tepee were about twenty-five persons. The blushing - bride, in a brilliant dress cut en train, stood by the side of the young warrior, who had changed his attire from one of warfare to that of mourning. Ranged on each side of the tent were the braves, sixteen in number, in full paint and feather, each with a plug hat. Chief Charlie directed the ceremo­ nies. In a few words she announced in, Ute that the father and mother of the bride had selected Cliavo for a husband, and that Chavo wanted Minnie to darn his socks, sew on his buttons, and do such other duties incumbent npon the squaw of so mighty a warror. Turning to the bride and groom he asked the usual questions. They replied in Ute, whereupon the chief stepped aside. The high-contracting parties then seated themselves on the straw in the middle of the tent, while around them squatted the braves. Mrs. Sow-no-winch, moth­ er of the interesting pappoose, placed around the bride's neck an amulet tied with deer sinew, and then the ceremony was complete. At another sign from the chief the brayes began to chant,rising in the vooal key louder and louder, until the dirge grew wil$ and weird, breaking forth in - a harmony of sounds that defied all musical scoring. From grave to gay the gronp had passed with but little in­ terim. The assemblage by this time was metamorphosed so that the scene was wild and beyond description. All at once the commotion ceased so sudden as to startle the guests. Exhausted, the braves sank to the ground and the war­ rior and his newly-made wife passed out from the group, he disappearing first through the lodge entrance and she following.--Western Correspondent. Dress of Laboring People in Japan. The laborers in Japan have adopted a style of dress and undress that is ad­ mirably conducive to the largest at­ tainments of comfort during their la* bors, and especially so is it with the headgear worn by them, which consist^ of a bamboo or grass saucer-shapec| article, that is placed on the top of the head without encircling the brows, be­ ing retained in its position by means of strings attached to the hat or head- cover, both before and behind the ears of the person wearing it, which are tie beneath the chin. Usually there is ring of cotton or of bamboo about an inch in thickness, and some four or five inches in diameter, placed betweeii the top of the head and the hat, which al­ lows of perfect ventilation over the cranium, and, as they are nearly as large as an ordinary sun umbrella, they afford ample protection from the raya • of the sun to the neck and shoulders. Sunstroke is not oue of the ills that the Japanese are subject to. If the,/ farmers who labor under the scorching sun of California during the harvest days of July and August had such pro- . tection as the Japanese hats, or, rather, head and shoulder protectors, afford, they would adjudge them a blessing and a boon. The granger's hat that I have seen worn by the farpers in the valleys of California, with their wide brims flopping about their faces, and 4 shoved tightly upon their brows, are not to be compared to the Japanese ar­ ticle.--Letter from Japan. HE invented a tail weight to jut on his cow. The first made--a small iron ball--wasn't heavy enough to hold het tail down, but it broke hia jaw. H« lives in Camden, N. J.

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