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V .'V ~I • J •'••' " .MM M:-: i.- •• PS siPtiSaiiis • ••*' • . - : s, M* • ' f: (Menri) IMaimlealw I. VANSLYKE. Editor and Publlihe;. McHENRY, ILLINOIS. THREE different civil engineers have made estimates of tlie quantity of water pouring over Niagara Falls every minute, and there is a difference of two quart) between the highest and tho lowest. Perhaps some cow was drinking above when the figuring was going on. A NEW drawing-room car has been recently made, in which, by a simple -device, the heavy chairs are made to fold at joints; the seats sink to the Hoor, the mirrored panels swing open, •teaching within a foot of the car center, And, presto, the drawing-room is •divided into ten sections, each afford- ,ing* a bed-room in which there are two imds, a mirror, wardrobe hooks and •other conveniences. IT ¥„* I t A NEW kind of entertainment" lias just sprung up in New York society 'which promises to afford considerable amusement and pleasuce to those who 'take part in it It is phrenology. Some people I know of intend the com- 1ng winter to give "phrenological" par­ ties--that is, to have a phrenologist 2ome to their houses and amuse their friends by feeling the protuberances on the craniums of those who will sttibmit 4o it. Wv 4T-t' - M ? " %• •",1* * - I ' * ? * KAISS*E WILHELM having had five falls within the past two years, one of -which was due to causes outside of himself, it is now believed that a species of epilepsy , is their source. Despite this threatening symptom and the weight of eighty-seven years, how­ ever, he rides before his soldiers at re­ view with almost the vigor of youth, for, as Tissot said, he "is a Hohenzol- lern; that i», a warrior hatched from . the cannon ball as the eagle is hatched from the egg;" » - --I--iM-i---' 1 » f• v. THE Curr&it:* An area !<tf (Jotem- ment land was disposed of in Dakota alope last year larger than any of the following European countries, namely, Belgium, the Netherland, Switzerland, Denmark, Servi% o* Greece. A terri­ tory the size of Italy1 was parceled out by the Land Office to individual buy­ ers in different parts of the United States. There is very little left this »ide of the Rockies on which a crop oould be raised. Notice of this ought Ao be given in Europe. . A NOVEL enterprise is reported to .•have been'projected bjr some Ameri­ cans inx London. Ample funds have been subscribed for an Anglo-Ameri- can Exchange, which is to include un­ der one roof a gigantic hotel, a bank­ ing establishment, a theater for the production of purely American dramas, and an assembly room in which trav­ elers from the United States may be -sure to meet their conntrymen. It is on agreeable conception, and when completed will be patronized undoubt­ edly. M. TH.EJJ.S^waa an enthusiastic col­ lector of prints. On one occasion, a difference of opinion arising between liim and a well-known ciirieux as to whether a print exposed for sale was in the first or second state, the latter, los­ ing his temfder in the discussion, tartly observed: "In the matter of engrav­ ings. M. Thiers, I am more of a con­ noisseur than you." "No," coolly re­ plied the future President of the Re­ public, staring at the other through Itis spectacles, "you are not or jfott Tpnnliln't bnro nnirl von ^ ^ -i fp - wouldn't have said you were.1 w THE late Frank S. C-hnnfrau once safd: "I faplieve that marriages be tweeninetaibers of my profession and persona .out of it are nearly al­ ways ill matches. And naturally so. The stage is a world in itself, and wholly unlike any other. Only those in it can .understand it. If-a man in a private capacity has an actresB for a wife he •can hardly help feeling somewhat jeal­ ous when she plays certain scenes. An actor, now, would know that the matter was purely one of business--an art-- and meant no -more morally than a formal shake of the hand between ac­ quaintances." "IT seem* <o»r Vccrfei , _____ Tait, fthak tlko nrst inventor of the thermometer was Galileo. His. ther- mo meter was an air thermometer, con­ sisting of a bulb with a tube dipping into a vessel of liquid. The first us a to which it was applied was to ascer­ tain the temperature of the human body. Tho patient took the bulb in h:s mouth, and the air, expanding, .forced the liquid down .the tube, the liquid descending as the temperature "of the bulb rose. From the height at which the liquid finally stood in the tube, th$ physician qould judge whether or cot tjftp W8 of the nature of a fever." . .. . - "I b-r DE. COLLIS BROWHB," "tb£ so-called inventor of chlorodyne, has just died," •ays tho London correspondent of The Medical Record. "Chlorodyne is per­ haps tho onijr patent medicine and se­ cret remedy which was employed by medical men. The makers contend that it conta&iqd a\ pertain alkaloid 'which g&ve it ' valjMkble properties. "They declared that this could not be discovered by analysis. This proved to be so far correct that many people were inclined to regard the 'alkaloid' as a myth. Several lawsuits have been wagediovoi- clilorodyae. The final re­ sult was to loave the original inventor, Dr. Browne, in undisturbed possession of his rights. Ho derived a large in­ come from the sale of the preparation." THE Legislature of New York passed * law prohibiting *lie manufacture of -cigars in tenement houses, making the law as a sanitary precaution. The Supreme Court of that State has just declared the law unconstitutional be­ cause it held the law not to be framed as a sanitary measure. Really this is a pretty difference, when a court attempts to determine that a legislature does not mean what it distinctly says it means. It would seem that courts can interpret for themselves not only the spirit but the actual letter of the law. The law against the manufacture of cigars in diseased, filthy quarters was wise and certainly a health precaution, and the New York Legislature should hasten to word a new law in such a way that there will be no possibility of its being misunderstood. SARAII ALTHEA HILL, of the famous lawsuit against Senator Sharon, is of medium height, well developed, with a lithe, trim figure. She gives at first sight the impression of a woman who is abundantly able to take care of her­ self, and yet the expression of her face and her attitude are very womanly, as though she^ lacked confidence and was appealing for support. Her features are regular, her face ovaL She is neither blonde nor brunette, with dark brown hair, which is allowed to fall in graceful waves over her full, round forehead. Her most at­ tractive feature is the full brown eye. Her nose is clear cut, and her mouth is also resolute in the habitual compres­ sion of her lips, but this is somewhat belied by a slight droop in the corners, as though an originally fine will had been overlaid by a strain of volumptu- ousness which weakened and ooarsened it. Her wbolo manner shows nervous­ ness and vitality. THE Canadian Pacific has, according to a correspondent of the St. Paul Pioneer-Press, cost the Government about $200,000,000 in land and money gifts. The projectors hope to complete it in 188(5. Things look differently in 1886 as compared with their look in 1884. Then even the Northern Pacific waa condidered a good joke. But now it may be seen that, for all the tribes of the North, the rich hyperborean re­ ligions of America are a better field of settlement than Kansas would be. The thermometer stands at 66 degrees below zero sometimes, and 30 degrees for months in the winter, but what of that? Where could Jans Jansen, or Ladrslaus Slatinski, or Ivan Zobjaczd- czik, or any of the rest of those peoples who wear names as clumsy as their snowshoes,.find a climate more agreea­ ble to their manners and customs? Certainly, when the temperature rises they are not at their best as agreeable associates. The philosopher who sees in the tide of immigration ft very dark outlook for his own great grandson, must fe< l trank'ful that the Northwest Territory invites a vast multitude of those settlers whose habits and ideas of life are least in accord with his own. In casting the future of Young America, the Canadian Pacific must be taken as an optimistio quantity or factor. THEBE aro a great number of anec­ dotes about General Skobeleff, which have become legendary in the Russian army, and there are a much greater number about the Russian Jews "which eirculate through all classes of Russian society. The following story, which is of interest for the admirers of the "White General" and the haters of the Russian Jew, was revived when Prince Bismarcfc, as a sign of special distinc­ tion, received the cross Pour le Merite. Skobeleff, so goes the story, was work­ ing one evening in his tent near the Danube, or near a pond, when a Turk­ ish bomb dropped at the threshold of the tent. The Generol had just time to see the sentinel outside stoop down and phlegmaticallv throw the shell into tho water. Skobeleff approached the soldier and said: "Do you know that you have saved my life ?" "I have done my best, General." "Very well; which would you rather have, tho St. George's Crosi or one hundred roubles?" The sentinel was a Jew with a fine Semitic profile. He hesitated a moment and then said: "W'liat is the value of the St. George's cross,my General ?" "What do you mean The cross itself is of no value, it may be worth five rubles per­ haps, but it is an honor to possess it." "Well, my General," calmly said the soldier, "if it is like that, give me ninety-five roubles and the cross of St. George!" Facts About Silkworms. The ideas of the ancients upotf l&a subjeci of the origin of silk were very vague, some supposing it to be the en­ trails of a spider, which fattened for years upon paste, at length burst, bring­ ing forth its silken treasure; others that it was spun by a hideous horned grub in hard nests of clay--ideas which were not dispelled till the sixth cen­ tury, when the first silkworms reached Constantinople, introduced and culti­ vated, like many other benefits, by the wandering monks. From thence they Mere soon imported into Italy, which for a long period remained the head­ quarters of the Europeau silk trade, until Henry IV. oif France, seeing that mulberry trees were as plentiful in his southern provinces as in Italy, intro­ duced silk-worm culture with great success. Kirkby mentions the follow­ ing interesting extract from the Cour­ ier <le Lyon, 1846, as showing the ex­ traordinary quantity of silk there an­ nually consumed at that period: "Raw silk annually consumed there 1,000,000 of kilogrammes, equal to 2,205,714 pouuds English, on which the waste in manufacturing is 5 pel cent. As our cocoons produce one graine (grain) of siik, 4.000,000,01)0 of cocoons are an­ nually consumed, making the number o f c a t e r p i l l a r s r e a r e d ( i n c l u d i n g t h e average allowance for caterpillars dying, bad cocoons, and those kept for eggs), 4.292,400,000. The length of the silk of one cocoon averages 500 meters (1,526 feet English), so that the lenght of the total quantity of silk spun in Lyons is 6,500,000,000,000 (or six and a half trillions) of English feet, equal to fourteen times the mean radius of the earth's orbit, or 5,495 times the mean radius of the moon's orbit, or 52,505 times the equatorial' circumference of the earth, or 200,000 times the circum­ ference of the moon."--Land and Water. Mas. D. G. CROLY, "Jennie June," whose weekly fashion letters are wide­ ly published, earns as much as most men do with tlieir pens. AtflUCULTU&AL. 1 Potri/rBT trasding is a scienee, and not a mer^ passtime, where improve­ ment is concerned; and as soon as the rank and file at our breeders fully realize this, the maroh of improvement will be eorrespbndingly rapid. J. T. LOVETT, of New Jersey, thinks that more money has been realized from the sale of crops of the Wilson strawberry and the Wilson blackberry than from all other varieties of the strawberry and blackberry. The for­ mer has sucoeeded everywhere; the lat­ ter when the winters have not killed it. THE sheep in the United States, ac­ cording to the Department of Agricul­ ture, number 50,626,626. The losses during 1883 were 8 per cent, or 4,288,- 664 head, largely from dogs. The average value is $2.53 per head. Tho total number of swine is 44,200,893; average value, $6.75; total number of cattle. 42,547,307. No BRANCH of home industry is bet­ ter adapted to the taste of young folks than raising poultry. There is amuse­ ment, recreation, innocence, and health in the employment; it is a school of nature and industry from the moment the first egg is deposited in the nest until a little germ that is encased and hidden from view quickens and de­ velops itself into the full-fledged cock­ erel or pullet. THE best way to save horses and cat­ tle from being tormented by flies is, ac­ cording to Ben Perly Poore, to hang walnut boughs about their stalls, and when the animals are taken out to wash them with water in which walnut leaves or the outer rind of the young walnuts have been steeped. It is believed, from Observa­ tion, that flies, fleas, and other insects have an instinctive aversion for the odor of walnut juice. This makes wal­ nut trees desirable as shado trees in pastures. THE Poultry World says that the difference between an egg laid by a plump, healthy hen, fed with good, fresh food daily, and an egg laid by a thin, poorly fed hen is as great as the difference between good beef and poor. A fowl fed on garbage and weak slops, with very little grain of any kind, may lay eggs, to be sure, but when these eggs are broken to bo used for cake, pies, etc., they will spread in a weak, watery way over your dish or look a milky white, instead of having a rich, slightly yellow tinge. A "rich egg" re­ tains its shape as far as possible, and yields to the beating of the knife or spoon with more resistance, and gives you tho conviction that you are really beating something thicker than water or diluted milk. AN English paper observes that there is often something very human in a sheep, just as there may be at times something very sheepish in humanity. But that sheep can die like Christians of sunstroke is one of those touches of affiliating nature that are only dis covered in hot seasons like the pres ent. One day, not long ago, a flock of 300 sheep on the Stenigot estate, North Lincolnshire, were "being drawn," one- half being sent to another part of the farm, a mile and half distant, and the other 150 remaining where they were. Of those that were driven, along a mile and a halt of dusty, up-hill road.no fewer than a dozen were sunstruck by the way, the recovery of some of them beiu hopeless. Of the 150 that remain not one suffered. From this circumstance it may be that farmers will be a little more careful in hot weather how they drive their sheep. SOILINO STOCK.--When longeontiued warm and dry weather has dried the grasses in the fields, and the water eup ply has become warm, stagnant, and filthy, the value of the soiling system becomes more than usually apparent to those who have had enterprise and wis­ dom enough to provide a supply of suc­ culent green food for such a t me. Tho Germantown Telegraph remarks that "some farmers object to this system of feeding dairy cattle, not only on the ground of requiring additional labor, but on account that tho cattle fail to get that amount of exercise which their health requires. It is true that they may be turned into the stable-yard, or to a limited inclosure connected there­ with, but by it they do not ootain that degree of exercise which they ought to have. We all know the effect upon people who do not take a due amount of exercise in the open air. It is the same with cattle. To get a good appe­ tite they must have a certain degree of exercise to promote it, and without it, they become languid, and frequently unhealthy, which effects both the quan tity and quality of their milk. It is true that a good sized space may bo set apart for them to range in, where they can be fed on the mown grass two or three times a day, but they are al­ lowed to nip off anything in the way of pasture that the size of tho inclosure and frequent rains may afford them." PODLTBV MAM RE.--Prof. Voelker, the agricultural chemist to the Royal Agricultural Society of England, s.«ys in relation to poultry manure: This least expensive and best way of using it is to mix it with dry earth,ashes, and such like into a compost. Mixed with abont twice the quantity of dry earthy mat­ ters of this kind, it will soon be reduced into a dry and powdery state, in which it may be readily sown broadcast or with tho drill, and found very useful in growing every kind of garden vegeta­ bles. For root crops, such as turnips, carrots, mangles, etc., it should lie mixed, after reducing to a powdery state, with an equal weight of super­ phosphate, and tho mixture drilled in at the rate of five hundred pounds to the acre. In my judgment, quicklime should never be mixed with it. for its effect would be to liberate the ammo­ nia, the most of which would escape and be lest. On the other hand, there is not only no harm, but a positive ad­ vantage, in mixing it with soot. In the absence of soot, the next best thing was to mix it with burnt plaster, to which a small quantity of superphosphate is added--the free acid of which will effectually prevent the escape of ammo­ nia. A mixture of two parts burnt plas­ ter and one part superphosphate may be kept in readiness to mix with the fresh chickens dung for the purpo e of absorbing the excess of mosture, and thus facilitate its being reduced to a dry and friable nature. Three parts of fresh chicken manure and one part of the preceding mixture of burnt plaster and superpliosphate.3, if kept under cover for a few days and turned once or twice during the time, and then passed through a screen of sieve, will be found to be most efficacious when applied at the rate of from six to eight hundred pounds to the acre A SMALL SILO.--John J. Thomas, of Union Springs, New York, has been testing ensilage for some years. His silo occupies one end of a barn base­ ment, holds about thirty tons, and cost less than $30, by merely plastering two sides and making solid plank parti­ tions lined outside with building pa­ p**V On the other two sides the cow- stalls are on the same level, and the animals are easily supplied through the plank door. The fresh stalks are drawn to the floor above, cut half an inch long with a powerful cutter---a few tons each day. He says: "It is better to fill moderately, so as to pro­ mote some fermentation, which cooks the ensilage and makes it better than if converted to vinegar at a low tempera­ ture. The silo is weighted with stones on planks, half a ton or more to a square yard. For removing the silage the Btones are easily placed on a bro;vl, solid shelf surrounding the silo. This I find much simpler, easier, and better than any other kind of pressure. I do all the work with a two-horse team and the labor of two men. They cut the stalks in the field with sickles, placing them at one operation on a low wagon, and drawing about a ton at a time. I find this mode of preparing fodder to possess several advantages, and on the whole I prefer it to any other. The stalks may be cut, drawn, and chopped in any weather except a pouring rain. The labor of chopping the fresh, suc­ culent stalks is only half as much as cutting dry fodder; the space they- oc- cupy in the silo is several times less than in the common way of storing in barns, and my neighbors are astonished at the large amount packed in so small a space." The oows like the silage and do better than on dry food. The cost is about $1 per ton. Rich soil in aver­ age seasons yield twenty tins per acre; in wet summers twenty-eight tons, in dry seasons fourteen to fifteen. Large southern sweet corn yields a half more than small northern varieties HOUSEKEEPERS' HELPS. RICE PUDDING.--One cup of rice, cne teacup of sugar, on quart milk, one tea- spoonful of cinnamon; bake slowly one and one-half hours. BEEF TEA.--Cut one pound of beef into slices, put into a glass jar and set in boiling water twelve hours. Add boiling water till of the required strength and season with pepper and salt. CHILLI SAUCE.--Six large ripe toma­ toes, four green peppers, one onion, one tablcspoonful of sugar, one tablespoon- ful of salt, one and a half cups of strong vinegar, chop peppers and onions; boil one hour. BEEF SOUP.--Four pounds of shin of beef, four quarts of water, six onions, four carrots, two turnips, all chopped fine; pepper and salt. Put the meet to boil and at the end of four hours add the vegetables and cook an hour longer. CREAM CAKE.--Ono cup of white su­ gar ; ono and ono-half cups of flour; thnee^eggs beaten separate and very light;two tablespoons water; one teaspoon baking powder. Bake in two cakes. Cream: ono pint milk; one cup sugar; one-lialf cup butter; three eggs; two tablospoons Hour; lemon ex­ tract. Cut each cako and fill with the cream. PRESERVED APPLES.--Pare and core twelve large apples; out each into eighths; make a svrup of one pound of sugar and one-lialf a pint of wator, and boil; put in as much apple as can be cooked without breaking; remove them carefully when tender; after all are done, add to the liquid one cup of sugar and boil ten minutes slowly; flavor with lemon and pour over the apples, or grate nutmeg on them instead. APPLE Pri>DIN<h--Iiutt^r "A pudding dish; place in it alternate layers of bread-crumbs and thinly sliced apple;; sprinkle sugar over each layer of ap­ ples; when the dish is tilled let the top layer be of bread crnmbs, over which three tablespoonfuls of melted butter should be poured. Bake in a moder­ ately hot. oven, and place three nails under the pudding dish to- keep from burning in tho bottom; let it bake from three-quarters to a whole hour, accoxd- ing to the quality of the cooking ap­ ples. . CHICKEN BROTH.--Cut chicken into quarters, lay it in salt and water an hour; put on the soup kettle with an onion and four quarts of water. Bring very slowly to gentle boil and keep this up until the liquid has diminished one-third and the meat shrinks from the bones. Take out the chicken, salt it and set aside with a cupful of brot^ in a bowl (covered) until noxt day. Season rest of broth and put back over the fire. Boil up and skim, add nearly a cupful of rice, previously soaked in a bowl of water. Cook slowly until the rice is tender. Stir a cupful of hot milk into two beaten eggs, then into broth. Let all come baroly to a boil When you have added a handful of fine­ ly minced parsley pour out into tureena and serve. The Mule and the Boy. A boy, apparently very much agitat­ ed, rushed into a house recently and said to the lady: "I don't want ter alarm yer, but I've got news. The man sent me from the livery stable to tell yer." "Good heavens, what is it?" "Why, you know yer little boy, Aleck, what the man can't keep outen the liv- erv stable 'round the corner "Yes, well?" "I told Aleck just now not to go inter the stable among the horses, but he wouldn't mind me--" "Odear! Wrhat has happened?" "He said ho wanted to see what a mule would do, when he tickeled its heels with a straw." 'O. heavens!" gasped the lady, and clung to the mantel for support "Well, sir, yer boy Aleck got a straw and snuck up behind a sorrel mule, tickled him on the heels, an--" The lady started for the door. "An' the blamed critter never lifted a hoof," called the boy. "Never as much as switched his tail. It's a mighty good thing for tho boy that he did'nt, too; an' I thought I'd come up and tell yer of it." And he dodged out at the side entrance. : Wood Ru e . The following rules are common­ place enough, but we can assure our reader that if they will observe every one of the rules, they will be anything but commonplace mon and women: Don't btop to tell stories in business hours. . . If you have a place of business, be found there when wanted. - No man can get rich sitting oround stores and saloons. Have order, system, regularity, and also promptness. Do not meddle with business you know nothing of. Pay as you go. A man of honor respects his word as he does his bond. Help others, but never give what you cannot atiord to, Bimply because it is fashionable to give. Learn to think and act for yourself. A CHILD'S questionings seriously an­ swered supply the chief basis lor that child's education. * / • ! ABOUT OPEIIA-OLAI'SES. What They Are Blade Of wd What They Cost. What with sapient eyo-glasses and owl-eyed opera-glasses the average playhouse audience has become an ag­ gregate of petty masked batteries, each of which is trained on the others with merciless directness and continuity. Some facts as to the "great guns" in this raking fire recently learned from a courteous salesman at a large jewelry store. Said he: "I should say that, judging by our experience, the sale of opera-glasses increased threefold over sales of two years ago. Indeed, to meet the heavy demand.^ we imported as many as 1,000 pairs for this season. Imported? yes, for there are no opera-glass makers in this country known to the trade. Voigtlaender of Vienna, and Chevallier of Paris is considered the best makers, though others, like Lemaire and the firm of Bardou et fils, both of Paris, are not without reputation. London runs to the first two, the same as New York. J "Tell you something about the ma­ terials used? Well, opera-glasses have either six or twelve lenses. Tho latter, as you may suppose, possess double power; they are also more achromatic --have less foreign coloriug than the six-lens glasses. For the eye-pieces flint-glass is used; also rock-crystal, which is smoother and clearer yet. For the end-pieces Hint and crown glass is used, the first being best made con­ cave and the other convex. Of course tho quality of the glass varies, and then the grinding, focusing, and adjust­ ing are of importance, depending on the maker. We might look at the frames and mounting now. Our cheapest pairs have brass frames, lacquered black, and mountings of seal leather. These range in price from $5 to $15, depend­ ing on the size and the number of lenses, six or twelve. Only one qual­ ity of glass is used in them.' Those of the next higher grade range from $15 to $50, and have aluminum frames, the price varying with the quality of glass and the size. The alluminum frames have a silverish oolor, which never tarnishes. More of these frames are sold than of any other kind, their ex­ treme lightness making them popular. Sometimes the silverish color is ex- chauged for black, by means of lacquer. The next grade of opera-glass includes those with mountings of mother-of- j pearl, or smoked pearl, and of original j pearl. The coloring of the last two is artificial. These same two have heavy frames ($13 to $50), and the light alu­ minum frames ($30 to $75). The moth­ er-of-pearl frames cost from $35 to $70. In all three the heavy frames are gilded with French gilt. "Now we come to what are called 'faucy' glasses. Ivory and shell are no longer included in these,'as the first dis­ colors quickly, and both of them crack and break easily under atmospherio in­ fluences. The fancy glasses have frame and mounting alike, and are the enameled, the gold, the silver, and the aluminum. The enameled glasses cost from $100 to $175; tho plain gold from $150 to $260; the plain silver $100; the etched silver $130; and the aluminum, plain $75, enameled $85. Of course you know, there are exceptionally high- priced glasses also. See, here's one of gold inlaid with diamonds and sapphires and costing $500. We have had one inlaid with rubies and costing $5,000. The novelties just now in this class of glasses are mountings of what is called Persian gold (a maroon color brought out of the gold by chemicals aoting on the alloy, and causing also an enamel effect), a mounting of white calf-skin, and a mounting made entirely of alu­ minum. Here's a very striking one-- ground of the silvery aluminum cov­ ered with lace-work of gol^.- It cost $250. The Persian gold mounts cost $185 and $550. For dress occasions, a frame of aluminum and a mounting of mother-of-pearl is popular. Are vest- pocket glasses still sold ? I had a dozen two weeks ago and have only ono left now. Yoigtaender makos these also, their price being $18."--New York Tribune. One-Armed and One-Legged Officials. The one-arm candidate, whose indus­ trious feet have made paths in the for­ est, is not such a prominent feature in the exercise of sutl'rage, as ho was sev­ eral years ago. Men with the conven tional number of arms and a practical number of legs now have the courage to crave the vote of the Arkausaw elec­ tor. Several years ago, it was useless for a man of complete "running gear" to announce himself a candidate. The people wanted crippled officers. I ad­ mit that a paralyzed man would make an admirable treasurer, but I never could understand why we should have a one-armed sheriff, or a justice of the peace with a bullet in his biain. The cripple system, of course, was an out­ growth of the war, but, after a while, man who had lost arms in feeding a threshing-machine, or who, working at a saw-mill, lost sight of a log or so dur ing an intense moment of the perform­ ance, came forward and declared that, under the cripple system, they were en titled to office, in that the law had failed to name the manner in which the limb should be lost. The question was presented to the Legislature, en­ titled, "A bill for an act to be entitled an act to place all one-legged men on an equal footing; also to extend equal privileges to maimed men in general." The discussion incident upon the pas­ sage of this bill is remembered as ono of the most exciting mental contests known to the intellectual tribulation of Arkansaw. Col. Bottleton, then in the full bloom of passionate utterance, in that perceptible tremor induced by deep seated conviction said: "1 blush for my country, like the white oak leaf reddened by an unex­ pected wind from the north. Sir,' shaking his fist at the speaker, "I op­ pose that measure. I do not think that tho man who lost his leg in heat­ ed debate with an alligator should be the equal of tho man whose leg was shot off during the war. In the lan­ guage of the old Koman stump speaker, such a course would bring about a race of base, ignoble slaves. The bright sun rises in the east and sets in the west." Loud applause rang and echoed through the dark hallways, and spiders no longer able to engage in the w ork of web-weaving, sought their thickly draped corners and awaited the result. Captain Higginson, advocate of the bill, who speculated in mules during the war, arose and snorted like an ex­ cited horse. "I oannot understand," said he, "why a leg isn't a leg, and not­ withstanding this. 1 do not under­ stand why the absence of a leg isn't the absence of a leg in all languages, under all forms of government and pre­ vious cond tions of servitude. The best officer the state has ever known was one whose leg was amputated by mis­ take. Several surgeons had been sent out to whittle a man who had suffered' in a railroad accident Our friend hap­ pened to be passing that way, and while under the influence of potent bev­ erage, lay down near the railroad track and sank into a deep sleep. The sur­ geons found him in this condition and cut off his right leg. Now, Mr. Speak­ er, can you tell me that this man would have made a better ofiicer had he lost his leg in battle ? Nonsense, sir." This powerful speech, indisputable in argument, bristling in point and firm in patriotism, had the effect of passing the bill. Crippled men came forward and were elected to o'Kce. Finally they became scarce, for many of them, having been elected to hold positions of financial trust, left the state--about all they did leave--and sought the re­ tirement of quiet and unobserved life. Crippled and one-armed men are still in demand, but as there are not enough of them to fill the offices, whole, and sometimes sane men, are selected. This is well. It is a very painful sight to see a crippled state treasurer, carrying a heavy bundle, struggling to catch a train. A man with two good legs could go through tho performance in a man­ ner involving less exertion. It is not humane to subject physical incomplete­ ness to such a trying task.--Opie P. lieed* in New York Mercury. , Humors of The Battle Field. Many humorous incidents occurred on battle-fields. A Confederate colonel ran ahead of his regiment at Malvern Hill, and discovering that the men were not following him as closely as he wished, he uttered a fierce oath, and exclaimed: "Come on! Do you want to live for­ ever?" The appeal was irresistable, and many a poor fellow who had laughed at the colonel's queer exortation laid down his life soon after. A shell struck the wheel of a Federal field-piece toward the close of tho en­ gagement at Fair Oaks, and, shivering the spokes, dismantled the cannon. "Well, isn't it lucky that didn't hap­ pen before we used up all our amuui- tion," remarked one of the artillerists as he crawled from beneath the gun." When General Pope was falling back before Lee's advance in the Virginia Valley, his own soldiers thought his bulletins and orders somewhat strained in their rhetoric. At one of the num­ erous running engagements that marked that disastrous campaign a private in one of the Westerm regiments was mor­ tally wounded by a shell. Seeing tho man's condition, a chaplain knelt beside him, and opening his Bible at random read out Sampson's slaughter of the Phillistines with the jaw bone of an ass. He had not quite finished when, as the story goes, the poor fellow inter­ rupted the reading by saying: "Hold on, chaplain. Don't deceive a dying man. Isn't the name of John Pope signed to that?" A command of troops was pushing forward over the long and winding road in Thoroughfjire Gap to head off Lee. trftor his retreat across the Potomac, at lie close of the Gettysburg campaign. Suddenly tho signal officer who accom­ panied the general in command, dis­ covered that homo of tho men, posted on a hill in tho rear, wore reporting the pfoseaee ^considerable body of Confederate troopfcv»> too of the bluffs to the right A liatt at once sounded, and the leading brigt^e or­ dered forward to uncover the enemjrv position. The regiments were toon scrambling up tho steep incline, officers and men gallantly racing to see who could reach the crest first. A young lieutenant and some half dozen* men gained the advance, but at the end oi what they deemed a perilous climb, they were thrown into convulsions ol laughter at discovering that what the signal men took for Confederate troops were only a tolerably large flock oi sheep. As the leaders in this forlorn hope rolled on the grass in a paroxysm of merriment, they laughed all the louder at seeing the pale but determ­ ined faces of their comrades, who, oi course, came up fully expecting a des­ perate hand-to-hand fight. It is perhaps needless to say the brigade supped on mutton that even­ ing. As the army was crossing South Mountain the day before tho battle ol Antietam, Gen. McClellan rode along the side of the moving column. Over­ taking a favorite Zouave regiment, he exclaimed with his natural bonhomie: "Well, how is tho Old Fifth this ev­ ening?" "First rate, General," replied one ol the Zouaves. "But we'd be better ofl if we weren't living so much on suppo­ sition." "Supposition?" said the General, in a puzzled tone. "What do you mean by that?" "It is easily explained, sir. You see we expected to get our rations yester­ day, but as we didn't we are living on the supposition that we did." "Ah, I understand; you shall have your rations, Zou Zous, to-night," re­ plied the General, putting spurs to his 11 or so to escape the cheers of his regi­ ment And he kept his promise.--The Century. A St. Louis Literary Person. I became so much interested in one of the hats from tho fact of its always being there; then I sought out its owner, and in finding him came across a curious bit of life History. The man is a small, wizened, bald-headed gen­ tleman, apparently about 50 years of age, who reads nothing but the news­ papers. Not many years ago he was a prosperous merchant, but reverses and troubles came on him, and he brooded over them until he fell into a suicidal mania. What he appeared to think most about was what ttffe newspapers would publish about his death, and he perfected a consummate plan of self- destruction. It was prevented, but his reason did not survive the ordeal, and he imagines that he has commuted the deed, and there is a full acount of it in the daily papers. He reads every paper on file, and every one he can pick up, with the idea that he will find his own suicide described in them. He is harmless, and is even rational on other subjects, and never has repeated the attempt on his life.--Post-Dispatch Lotmtjer. Rough on Bats. The Wytherspoons are famoaa aft-the stingiest family in Austin, as will be seen by the following conversation be­ tween two citizens of the capital of Texas: "How do you like the house you have moved into?" ' "It suits me very well, except that it is infested with rats. They are the hungr est, boldest rats I ever saw." "Doesn't Col. Witherspoon live next door to you ?" "He does." "That explains it All the rats in Witherspoon's house come over to your house. He starves them out." "Does he use 'Hough on Rats?"® "You bet he is rough on rats. He just leaves his pantry door open at night* --Texas Sifting ILLINOIS STATE --The Grundy County Fear said to be overcrowded. --Safe-blowers are getting in their wort in many portions of the State. - > --Charles Donaldson, of Bosk /IsiaiM$§|^^ died from injuries received in his father^ saw factory. --Wm. Doyle, a farmer living nsar Gene- seo, shot his left arm off white hunting, and A died ftom the injury. --A little child of Bev. J. B. Wolfe, of Mattoon, crawled from a porch, and. falling into a barrel of water, was drowned. --First-cla88 tickets from New York t$* %z ^ Chicago are now sold at $16 by the Baltii f more and Ohio and West Shore Beads. --James Wilson, a C., B. & Q. brake* man, was killed by falling under a freight train at Fowler. His home was at Gales- burg. . & --Augustus Van Buren* a well-known attorney of Chicago, has been compelled to i suffer the amputation of a foot on account, of a earbunele. --Leon Cazelet, a prominent merchant ' : and politician, was buried at Maocn, witfe - ••r^l Odd Fellow and Masonic honors. He waa - M bom in France. --Charles Houlden, of Petersburg, who ^ J lulled his wife on March 22, has been in* \ dieted. Two of his step-children were eye||- witnesses to the murder. "V • --Rev. Mr. Scoville, the pastor of t|A-": Free Methodist Church in Elgin, has been ~ convicted of grossly immoral conduct anjfe , ^ will be expelled from the ministry. --Cass Hobinson, about 45 years old, who lived near Burnside, while under thSv influence of liquor, and walking on ths track, was run over by a train and killed. V --Mr. Robert Stackhouse has been ap- * pointed General Freight and Ticket Agent * of the Bock Island and Peoria Bailroad, vice A. N. Morton, resigned, with head­ quarters at Bock Is'and. Gov. Hamilton has pardoned Thomas, Crandall, sentenced to the Joliet Peniten* , tiary from Vermillion County in 1881, four years for arson. The pardon wa»,: . . based cm a showing of mental unsound* ness. f . -/J --The Galena Guzette, says the rasper e berry bushes in the garden of Mrs. Jan*i«, , M. Spare, in that cityare wellJJaden down ;.* . with handsome, good-sized rect ruspberriep^ --the second crop that the bushes havl^'/.^ produced this season. s !! --Mr. William Haywood, County Trqi^ 5.» urer of Boone County, died at Belviderefe after a lone and painful illness. He is m*r' v third county officer of Boone County thafk ' d has died within a year, viz.. County Clezk^ Circuit Clerk, and Treasurer. 4 .*- ' "41* * , "sS --Joseph Cavezel, employed about thfH kitchen of the Commercial Hotel, Chicago,t, v ; , " while drunk, pulled a razor, and, withoul^. ^ * , provocation, tried to cut every one within t , * range. Accidentally he slashed his own t knee and died from the effects of his ^ *; , ,"f wound. --It is stated that the Chicago, Burling­ ton, and Quincy is now preparing time tables to*fcjjn extra fast trains between Chi St. Louis -- - and 8t L?e Pounds ,o( the Choicest Japan for §2. Call and get sample of W h i l e j g i y e a w a y , living net B. GLI.BEKT. were pass] --"•:'<*-- •• • attacked If the litest stock of Fall and & #'r Millinery to he found fntlM Hurt. A * to M|.s ,j t, torn abonf J . _. _ _ _ ^ aged 8 yea, Feed 813 Per Ton • ,*,1 , iln' Fox River Vallev Mills. --Charge.tt - R. BtfUMt 1 ted to draJ _ . _ , , muzzle tos«at Saving to Daifymtn. Kaukakee ItTver. ' 1'he charging the yenpoa. The whole chaig* •< . ^ entered his right arm and shoulder, shatter:. »^ ? 1 ^ ing the arm so badly as to make amputation ' >; necessary. --The Hemlock Block, that burned narrow escape from tho flames. Put up that fire-escape at onee. •i*' ..J.'A"' Chicago the other day, had three or fdur . ^. fire-escapes, besides a fire-proof staircase,, Without them at least fifty lives would*, have been lost, and, even with them, on* ' ^ *! jjLJ life was lost and a number of people had a ' J t ' W;-.; - - - ' vJ H --B. F. Shipley, the recently depose^ ^ Superintendent of Schools of Fayetttfr v ' '«?* County, is trying to show that Mays, hia-™, ' successor, doe^pQf; hold the office legally. • < & ^ Judge Welsh has not rendered a decision,'V * > *' but has taken the case under advisement, > 4'" S h i p l e y i s c h a r g e d w i t h b e i n g a d e & U e r t o • ? i J j the county to the amount of $700. * -vgiL-,' --The State Convention of Highway Com*.c missioners, recently in session at Spring-*' %*>'•%• field, have decided to ask the Legislature »*»•!" ^ to make it compulsory on the owners of Vi| traction engines, thrashers, and other heavy, * a^f7 ( fj| portable machinery, to carry with them. - heavy planks, to be laid across bridges aad"-"'.*>^ culverts in order to protect them from injury. • .. ^ --While Jacob Casey and William Spinal! '!$, ,v J| were working in the air shaft of the Nash~ ville Coal Company, 275 feet below the sur- *. face, a wire rope used in hoisting a heavy» V j f * ; oaken board parted, and the plank felt- ;' ha'.f the distance upon the men, crnshiug i ^ » J5 Spinall's skull and killing him instantly. •< Ca6ey was badly bruised. Spinall was 24t>. years old, and leaves a wife and two chil^v • V dren. i^ --In the Superior Court in this city, hist,y f Saturday, Chief Justice Sidney Smith rendered a decision in the case of J. ft*. <*•*'<' Jones & Co., a commission film of Chicago^! against Georgo L. Dunlap and Perry H|& ^ Smith, for the balance due on some Bwvrtf . of Trade deals in ribs and wh#at several. . years ago. Judge Smith, in his remarks ~ deciding tho case, knocks the sand pretty / ^ generally out of defenses in similar ease#- ,. ^ ™ 4 ~ | based on an allegation thai the deals wer&v,„<t vjJ < in the nature simply of wagers oa the pricaV' ^ * of the goods, and were therefore gambiin^f ' • t contracts. According to his interpret-ttio&'l^ of the law. it will be a difficult matter a|s «v."' any time to prove that a Board of Trade , ^ ^ * deal was a gambling operation, and the do^; cision will ttnd greatly to protect commit- ,S;^ 4 liM sion dealers from baby-act plo uUug , the part of their customers. The sum in- ~ volved in these oases was only $6,8W, with. . j'i interest. But the lafr, as expounded, also applies to the Wells and McGeoch litiga­ tion in Milwaukee, covering a million dollars or so, and as a precedes*t it is great importance.--C* Jourmml ,*$£• --The loans of the £lgin Hcawutwd sociation now amount to about