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ILLERlfta ir. %#**. •». noma, iSk' H W«TgAT. mill, yon go to prayer etlrn when <Uyllght Hti •ndt pollute the air th« iromen into lit*. B:--Roller skating If, and booming every night *t the Vartau t-inki la this city. That within til* Exposition and the "Star" are the t fashionable rinks, and attract the er crowds. Some perrons claim hat when the skating Is at an end the participants have gained nothing, and liave nothing to show for the money Invested. I only know that I have •outething to show for It, and it won't gel well soon, either. A country woman stopped me on the street recently, and asked me to ball a pasting milk wagen, she supposing it to be an omnibus, and was so highly Indignant when 1 refused her request she threatened to have a policeman ar­ rest me--wiiich would be nothing un­ usual. . It Is said quite a sensation was caused Jo Wall Street by a report that j*y Could had given a beggar a good ten Ceut piece--and asked nothing iu re­ turn. Generally, if one asks a favor one is certain some day to have to pay It back with interest.- One of Dr. Carver's Iudians is miss­ ing. and a reward of oqe hundred dol­ lars is oflered to the person who will return him tu the proper place. His name Is WaterundertliegrounA. The tiotel In which the Indians as* staying caught fire, aud it is supposed that Mr. Water, etc., became frtghteaed and tnat'e a bee line for the woods. & As I was walking ato»g the streets on* dark night, thinking of nothing, as usual, a ferocious little woman rushed out «t me from an alley, and wildly attempted to abduct me. She would have succeeded were It not that I was •i tch the larger, and so heavy she could not :arry me. I was greatly excited, nevertheless. The fool-killer could find abundant work here. There are daily between six aud ten thousand people who crowd into the base ball grounds to wateh a few Ignorant roughs play what Is called "America's favorite game." and a high­ ly uplifting game it is. Among other evil* it is productive of gambling, or perhaps more properly speaking, bet­ ting, On Sundays, the yellisg and the cheering produced by the crowd can easily be heard a distance of over a mile, and is certainly far from har nonlous or pleasing i» the ear. There Is qufte a sanation bere over the trial of a medium wha claimB to be intimate with spirits, and judging by] the color of her nose, I am. not inclined' . to disbelieve her. v The council has passed an ordinance ordering the closing of all wells within Ike city limits, because of their prox­ imity to sewers, and their consequent miliealtbfulness. 1 strongly suspect the saloon-keepers bad something to d? with passing that ordinance. I wonder that the New York aldermeu have not ordered the entire discontin­ uance of the water supply, as it would . add materially to their business. There Is unbounded joy here over advent of a dumb child, as its pa­ rents have decided" to train it for the barber's profession. The birds in spring and the springs Is birds are now here, and feast upon the orchard blossoms. One of them attacked my nose, supposing it to be a blossom, and I could hardly stand it. I , -can not stand a chair, either, because It is made to sit down In. 1 The inhabitants of New York who dwell in tenement bouses no doubt wish for the return of that remote time when mau dwelt iu caves. He was then not only safe from fire, but felt pretty certain at night he would not wake up in the morning and find tbd whole concern Iu ruins on top of liim. But the modern race Is far too aristocratic. They are even more par­ ticular than were the mighty gods of the ancients. Looking back, we can S#e the great Pan receiving callers in one of the caves near the city of Ephe- sns. He It was who one day by the river invented that highly useful arti­ cle, the dish pan. But he died, as the •oroner decided, of a broken heart be­ cause the patent offico refused to grant his exclusive rights by granting him a patent. It was all the fault of the Senator from Virginia, and en bis head rests the biood of the great god, Pan. ' A poet has written a sonnet entitled *6leep Evaleen; don't wake up any ' More." One would suppose be was ro- . ferring to the wash-woman, to wh he owes fifty cents. T|je hunting season has reopened. 01am has just begun butidlng Its nest, and may often be seen in large fioeks. However, It is very seldom it Is winged ; because of the exceeding swiftness With which itUin fly. I think I am a ' food enough"wrksman to wing an elephant if he Janhiot too far away. A man naqaed Cannon has been con­ victed of unlawful cohabitation in Salt City. It would seem that artil­ lery does not enjjpy the s ime privilege •s the Mormons^ A scientist lnrormed me that the teeth of all dogs are pur a Ivory of great value, and desiring to make a lit- fie money I pulled seven thousand teeth from my white spaniel, and pro­ ceeded to the jewelers to sell tbem, but lie only threw a clock at me and order­ ed me out, declaring that I was"clean jnad." I was mad, aud no mistake. I afterward ascertained from reliable sources that the scientist was mistaken and I mean to lay for him with a big dub. Yours repeatedly, Lovell. •S-fr'#' • . " • ALER lw 1 m m Bonslett & Stoffel McHXHBY. Goods! New OWEN McHENBY. Uiiiola. J . 4 . m RIVERSIDE! BLOCK, We are prepared to offer immense bargains in General Merchandise^ consisting of . ^ Great Reduction! la price of Clothing. If not wanted at present, perhaps it will pay to buy for future wear. Take notice of the following prices and decide for yourselves. "Wc offer a lot of Boys Vests for25 cents, former price 50 cents to 91.25 84 Cliildrens Suits, ages i to 9 at $ to f former price. • 11 Boys Suits. ages 10 to 14 at $3.00, former price $6.50 to $7.50 ' , fB Boys Suits $2.00 to $5.00, former i>rice $5 00 to $10.00. 90 Young Mens Suits, sizes 33 to 3G, at $5.00. former price $7.50 to $10,00. 40 Boys Poplin Coats, size* 26 to 36. at 25c, former price 75c to $1 00. 12 Mens Vests, light weight and color. 50c, former price $1.75 to $2.00. *47 Mens Coats, all kinds, at $2.00 to $7.00. former price #4.00 to $12.00. ;18 Mens Suits at $7;00. former »rice $10.00, . 15 Mens Suits at $&.00, former price $11.50. 34 Mens Muits at § to f former price* We hare recently'added to our Clothing stock soraevery rff€ and well selected stock Reasonable Braided and Plain, in latest Colbfs. An entirely new stock of Of all descriptions, which wo-trioi.'free of charge, both paper and border. A full line of the favorably known C. H. Fargo Soots and Shoes. New Styles in Hats and Caps, Groceries, only the very beit, and at moderate prices. Trockery in great variety; Lustre Band^and brown Dinner Sets, Tea Sets, Water Sets, Chamber Sets. etc. The Celebrated Secor 1 runks and Valises. Carpets, hemp, half wool, and 2-ply all wool; Oil Cloths, etc. The best grades of Flour delivered free. Salt by the Barrel. &rt Bonslett & Stoftel.- West MfHenry, III , May 4th, 1830. Wall Pajaeri, * New Wall Papers, And Borders to Match. Stock iu TRIMMED FREE. seeffeii, am! it to Durable Suits, In latest styles and patterns, which we have marked at very close prices, and feel confident we can please all both in quality and price. We also desire to call the particular attention of our gentle­ men friends to our new line of l^tilch is now very complete. We have and colors, and know we can please you. the ROOTS AND This is one of the most importaat branches of our business, and one that has received our very careful attention; we have studied our trade, and now feel confident we are better than ever prepared to meet their wants in this department. For medium price good* we continue to sell the Redpath make, which have given such gen eral satisfaction for the past 3 years. In Furniture! Furniture! Justen Brothers, WESt • McHENH IT. : now ready fot the Spring Trade, stock of with the largest and fiaest Furniture ol all Kinds Ever brought to this County, which Ave can and'will sell ns low as the same goods can be bought anywhere. Call and see our Stock and learn Prices before buying, as We can .ave you Money. ' We keep a fine line of Samples of Brussels, Tapestry and Ingrain Carpets, which we will order on short notice at prices that cannot fail to please. A full line ot Coffins and Caskets always on hand. JUSTEN BROS. Wist McH«ntr. April 14th, 1885. In Ladies', Gents' and Children's Wear. ew Styles Mens Bate A Omjpa. Paints and Oils, Mixed Paints, 8al% j f^jHYoui Patronage Solicited. Prices the Lowest, Perry & Owen. HARDWARE LADI5S HUE We are confident that for Style, Finish and Durability the celebrated John Foster goods are as good as monev will buy; we have sold them several years and always find them reliable; while in Boots the "Buffalo" make still stands ahead, having been sold iu this place for over thirty year#, and stood the severest tests and not You take no risk in purchasing them. been found wanting. In Dry Goods & Notions We are lull of all the latest styles aud novelties which will be sold at the lowest living prices; we invite the ladies to call and ex­ amine our new arid beautiful Dress Goods, consisting iu part of Silks, Cashmeres, Ottomans, Flannels, Buntings, etc., etc., which will be found in various colors and prices. § iff time of year every owner of a *»w should keep ready for use a bottle iief Dickinson's Cow Prescription. It may save him the prlct of a eow. It •heuld be given in every case as soon aa the oow calves. It will cause her to do Well and will prevent that fatal disease, Milk Feter. Set sale by all druf gist*. The largest and freshest stock astonish, the closest buyers. in town, at prices that will Drugs and Medicines, Our usual large stock and relirble quality. Always the best to be obtained, at bottom prices. EVERY DEPARTMENf FULL. inspection solicited. McHenrf, I11„ Jfty 30th, 1*6, The Above Cuts Show German's' As applied to the common carry-around Gate*, or panel ot fence, It makes a gate that is Cheap, Strong and Durable, combining more points of excellence than any other gate, however expensive, Any ordinary work hand can apply this hanging by looking at the cut. The cost <^,ygbn for hanging does not exceed 15 cents. Give t his Gate a careful examination. It is something every farmer needs, Farm, Town, County aud State right tor sale by your Blacksmith, Agrent, or ' S. & J. SHERMAN. 10-38-6<B West McHenry, ILL. We Have Just Received Our first invoice Spring Goods, and the Largest Stock of in order to maks rom foi Spring and Summer 0oods Ever brought to Woodstocky or intoi McHenry County. close out our Fall and Winter We will BOOTS AND SHOES. REGARDLESS OF COST. For we must have the room. We can and will give you Iu these Goods, and it will pay you to come from all over the Country to trade with us. Good Goods at low ('ash Prices. Re­ member the place, Cor. Maine Street and Public Square, Wood­ stock, III. N. B. House Established 1865. . H. DWIGHT. X. STORT, |3^~OnerDoor West of the Riverside House, -DEALER 111- NAILS, MECHANICS TOOLS, CHANDELnSR| Lamps, Tin, Copper and Sheet. Iron Ware. And in short, everything in the Hardware, tove and Tin Line. HE WILL NOT BE UNDERSOLD* Call at his store before buying elsewhere. JOBBING AUD promptly Attended To. farREMEMBER, extra good bargains can 3k < I'<i iy. ] 11..arch 16th, 1885. JOHN I. STORY. F . G . M A Y E S , DEALER Ilf Ready-Made Clothin '0 ' Staple Dry Q-oods, Invites an inspection ot his stock, all ot which will be sold, at the lowest prices for cash. Remember good goods at fair Prices, at < he Centerville Store. * ^Henryt 111., Jane 10,1884. c. WIVES * V MieU lislli a. .. sa&L " ' . .V -• :