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McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 3 Jun 1885, p. 3

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The cheapest editions are. however, de­ scribed as being undesirable on account of fine type, and, as a consequence, many of those who must have the book will find it necessary to carefully revise the contents of their limber-backed pocket-books before bny.'ng. - A FRENCHMAN In conversation with aa Englishman says: "I am going to leave my hotel. I paid my bill yester­ day, and I said to the landlord, 'Do I owe anything else?* He said, 'You are square.' *W hat am I?' He said again, 'Yon are square.' 'That's strange,' said I; 'I lived so long I never knew I was square before.' Then, as I was going away, he shook me by the hand, saying, 'I hope you'll be round soon.' I snid, 'I thought you said I was sauare. Now you hope IH be round.' He laughed and said, *-When I tell you you'll be round, I mean you won't be long.' I did not know how many fcrms he wished me to assume; however, I was glad he did not call me flat." D. H. MOFFAT, who is President of the First Nutional Bark of Denver, an institution whose deposits are over $3,000,000, was approached by Ferdin­ and Ward about a year ago with a re­ quest for a loan based on promises of enormous profits. Mr. Moffat, in speak­ ing of it the other day, said: "Ward wanted $100,000, and said he could . make for me $50,000 on it in sixty days. 1 told him I didn't know why he should be so good to me; that I had never done anything for him. I guess he under­ stood me, for he went off. I never took any stock in the fellow. He was too white-livered. I never tie to a man when I can see through his ears, as I could through Ward's." A CURRENT paragraph states that the real name of Charles Kelley, the actor, and husband of "Ellen Terry, who re­ cently died, was Wardell. This, ac­ cording to London papers, which ought to know, is an error, though an excus­ able one, considering the wealth of husbands that actress has had. From the most reliable historical sources it appears that the versatile Miss Terry firSt married Mr. Watts. That gentle­ man having obtained a divorce, was suc­ ceeded by Mr. Wardell. Not satisfied with her second choice, Miss Terry di­ vorced him, and settling her affeotions temporarily upon Charles Kelly, be­ came his wife. Incompatibility • and other causes soon separated them, and now death, by the removal of Mr. Kel­ ly, has severed all entangling alliances. Providence may be regarded as partic­ ularly kind to this shorn lamb if, as is suspected, Miss Terry is not unwilling arry again. - --* CHICAGO Times: "Rigolo," the well- known Wall Street man of the New York Sun, who was in the city the other day, does not like the new Board of Trade Hall. He says it is absurdly gaudy, and looks a good deal like a Spanish cathedral despoiled of its images, altars, snd statuary. But this is a matter of ta£te» and, in view of what he has to say about the city of Chicago, can be overlooked. It rather opens the eyes of the insular New Yorkers to come out here and see for themselves what sort of a town Chica­ go i& "ftigola" used his eyes to good purpose, and is frank enough to tell what lie saw. He says that anyone who has not seen it for eight or ten years will be amazed at its magnitude; that it is now a city of nearly three- quarters of a million of people; that its public buildings and private resi­ dences are as fine, if not finer than, those of New York; that the latter city has no such street as Michigan avenue, and that it cannot show two miles of as good and well-kept driveway as the sixty miles of boulevards and park drives of Chicago. He says that busi­ ness here is done in a wonderful man­ ner, and that the Chicago speculator thinks less of a $1,000 bill than the New Yorker dees of a $10 bill. „ WASINGTON Letter: I was told of another of Attorney General Garland's pecularities by a friend the other day. He hates doetora. Whenever he hears of a friend being sick he takes the trouble to warn him that the medical profession is a humbug, and the only way to be sure of recovery is to let it alone. He says he never had a doctor in his life, and consequently keeps well. But the other day he broke faith. He was taken with a peculiar ailment. At first he thought he was getting fat, but it was all confined to his face, and he did not know what to make of it Directly his jaws awelled out to an im­ mense size and became Very painfuL He endured it a long time, but finally grabbed up his hat and went to see a doctor who has an office within a square. He said he thought he was poisoned, but had no idea who had done it "I don't think you are pois­ oned," said the doctor, after examining Ziis face very carefully. "You've got the mumps." The Attorney General left the office in a rage, muttering, "mumps! I wonder if it isn't cholera Infantum! Maybe it's a cancer!" and giving vent to others arcastio expres­ sions to show lis contempt for the whole medical fraternity. But it was tho , „ii» mumps, sure enough, and all he oould do w«« to keep cut of the way and say nothing about it. HENBT HOKMAS, of Chicago, deserves a place high on the honor roll. In 1874 he failed in badoes3 for $75,000 and compromised with his creditors at 50 cents on the dollar. He immediately set to work rebuilding his fortune, and recently started east to pay off the old claims, which he was not obliged to liquidate. His son, speakng of the trip of his father, says: "I have not heard much from father since he went away. He writes, however, that he never bad such a pleasant trip in his life. Everywhere he has met with an enthusiastic reception, and the men whom he has paid have not been able to do enough for him. A statement was made in one of the evening papers that he was going to pay up half of the old debts. That is an injustice, as he hai paid them in full so far, and in­ tends to find out every claim against him and pay every cent of it at once. One incident in Boston, where he now is, he says more than compensates him for the who'e $38,000. A creditor, whose name I forget, who at the time of settlement was disposed to be very easy >vith hiin, has since died and left a largo family in rather destitute cir­ cumstances. l ather did not know of this until he reached Boston and hunted them up. The meeting between them when he gave the poor widow his check for the amount due, which I be­ lieve, was about $5,000, you can imag­ ine better than I can describe. It will be the happiest day of his life when he gets back to Chicago and has the satis­ faction of feeling that he owes no man a dollar." THE HINDOO THEATER. BRIDGEPORT, Connecticut, has pro­ duced the unique scoundrel of the year in the person of Charles Foster. His claim to the title was established through the revelations in a divorce suit between Frank H. . Whiting uid his wife. Whiting himself seems to be not exactly what he should be. He sued for and obtained a divorce in or­ der to marry a Miss Kennet, a lady of means, which he afterward did. The divorced woman thereupon proceeded to persecute the bride, and niaJe it un­ pleasant for her through the irregular­ ity of her marriagtf in the sight of the church to which she be­ longed, which does not countenance an alliance with a divorced man with­ out a special dispensat'pn. At this cri­ sis Foster established his claim to scoundrelism by offering ten letters written to him by Mrs. Whiting, No. 1 while she was yet married. These let­ ters he sold for a "good round sum," though he claimed to have over 100 in all. In addition to these letters, Foster has a photograph of Mrs. Fan­ ny Whiting, on the back of which is written a marriage contract, wherein Mrs. Fanny Whiting agrees to marry him (Foster) upon the event that she and her husband, Frank Whiting, se­ cured a divorce. This contract is signed by both Foster and Mrs. Fanny Whiting. Foster promised to sell this photograph to Mr. Whiting for $25, but has evidently changed his mind. He has taken legal advice on the ques­ tion whether he has not a case against Mrs. Fanny Whiting for breach of promise. Foster says he is ready to marry her, but she will not consent. The entire four have proved them­ selves anything but what they should be, but of the four Foster is by all odds the meanest and most contemptible. He should bo prosecuted for black­ mail. . He Was a "White Man." One of the Hudson Bay Company's officers has with him a young wife and a child, a tiny girl, 3 years old--a pret­ ty, prattling, fearless, fascinating young woman. She is everybody's "pet, from the rather dandy wheelman who tries to entice her up to his pilot-box, which towers above the vessel, down to the grizzled, grimy deck-hands, whose acquaintance she has somehow or other made on the lower deck. On the floor of this lower deck, whither she has been taken by her nurse, she has seen three men lying bound, chained hand and foot. They are on their way to be tried at Fargo, and the Sheriff who has effected their capture, never leaves them, for they are known to be desperate. Tho little child came to them and looked at them curiously; they looked silently at her. They ptobably never had seen anything so dainty or so sweet before. She saw nothing in them to frighten her. So she advanced and spoke to them in her own broken words, she even tcuehed the fetters on the hands of one of them, and smiled in his face, and asked him what they were. The man smiled too, without replying, and the child moved away. As she walked there was a sudden quick jerk of the whole ship, its further side ground jarringly against some unyield­ ing substance hidden in the water; it tilted over slightly, the child lost her balance, and, with a scream, fell over the side into the water. The vessel for an instant was stationary. The three prisoners saw her disappear. The prisoner to whom she had spoken, and whose handcuffs she had for a moment touched, exclaimed: "God! don't ye shoot, Bill!" Then quickly rolling himself over and over, he dropped into the water beside the child. As his hands were bound behind him, he caught the child's dress in his teeth, and treading the water with his fet­ tered feet, kept the child above water until help came. As everybody's atten­ tion was diverted to the opposite side of the steamer, it was some time before the boat from tlie vessel reached them. But the child was saved. Needless to relate the thankfulness of the poor young mother or the gratitude of the father. "I guess you air a white man, Rik, after all," said the Sheriff. A purse was made up among the passengers for tho man, whose name was Erikir, a Scandinavian by birth. It was afterward learned that the Sher­ iff told the story to the "Jedge," and the Judge, with Western freedom, and that admiration for a gallant act which covers a multitude of sins, so arranged that when it was found that Erikir had mysteriously disappeared, nothing was done beyond a little official bluster,and he escaped.--R. Alachray, in Harper. ALL brains weighing less than thirty ounces belong to imbeeiles. Its Great Antiquity--The Dancing of the Nautch Girls. The nautch, I judge, has ever been a favorite entertainment of the nabobs, nawaubs, and men of high caste in In­ dia. All those who are able, I am told, patronize this amusement, and many keep private performers. Tho visitor to the Philippine Isles, if the inhabit­ ants there wish to show him a favor, is treated to a "mestizo ball." In India he is honored with a nautch. Edmund Burke, in his fierce denunciation against Warren Hastings before the English House of Lords, where the latter stood before the most august tribunal per­ haps the world ever w tnesseJ, im­ peached by the House of Commons for "high crimes and misdemeanors," while Governor General of India, taunted him, the Governor, with listening to singing girls while oppressing the mill­ ions he should have protected. Through such means he made him ap­ pear like Nero, who is said to have "fid­ dled while Home was burning." It was not the season for the private nautch, else we should have had invita­ tions to attend. But a good idea of it could be formed at the Hindoo theater. The germ of the drama of India is of great antiquity, while that of modern Europe does not extend farther back than the fifteenth century. The Indian dramas are the repositories of true poetry of the Oriental type. They represent the early condition of Hin­ doo society, and serve to illustrate W3 of its present peculiarities. Mo- nier Williams says: "In all likelihood the germ of the dramatic representa­ tions of the Hindoos or of the Greeks is to be sought for in public exhibitions of dancing, which consists at first of simple movements of the body, exe­ cuted in harmony with singing and music. 'Nataka,' dramatic acting, is taken from 'nartaka,' a dancer. Of this dancing various styles were gradually invented, to express actions of various sentiments and emotions. The Tan- dava is a boisterous dance, regarded as the peculiar invention of Siva; the Lasya is said to have been invented by Parvati; the Rasamandala is the circu­ lar dance of Krishna. Very soon danc­ ing was extended to include pantomimic gesticulations accompanied with more elaborate musical performances, and these gesticulations were aided by oo- casional exclamations between the in­ tervals of singing. Finally natural language took the place of music and singing, while gesticulation became merely subservient to emphasis in dra- matio dialogue." The remarks of this eminent Indian scholar (Mr. Williams) upon the theater and drama are very interesting, but I have copied enough for this part of my journal, simply ad­ ding that some of the dramas were opened and closed by prayer. The boboos, as 1 have remarked, told us the nautch season was over, but we could po to the theater. So to the In­ dian theater I went, taking my Sircar to interpret and explain. The build­ ing was an immense barn-like .place, with no floor. Great crowds of natives were present, but only one white man besides myself. The play was panto­ mimic, and if I could lmve understood it I should have called Nfthe acting as gocd as any we have of that character. Taking the parts usually assigned to our ballet dancing (between the scenes or acts) we had the nautch dancing. A dozen native Indian girls in the cos­ tumes of the Country, transparent gauze dresses glittering with ornaments, came forward, and with slow, undulating motions moved to and fro, accompa­ nied by their own voices. .Their forms were small, a little inclined to be lull (some "squatty"),their features not bad, with eyes like beads, and black, luxu­ rious hair. Their movements were graceful, but their voices discordant, nasal, shrill, squeaky. The dance was more of a posturing than anything else, very like that of the Japanese girls. I think a great deal better than the bal­ let of our theaters, for there was not the slightest approach to immodesty. The music consisted of Indian Addles (about on a par with our cornstalk fid­ dles), flutes, and drums. It was a dis­ mal mixture of discordant sounds, screams, and shrieks. The drums or tom-toms were key-shaped, emitting a most dolorous, monotonous thud. The player on this last rub-a-dubbed away like fury at times, and then subsided to rest to suit himself. His music was decidedly ad-libitum-diminuendo and crescendo, but there was no attempt at time or harmony as we understand it. The aud ence was as well behaved and respectable as any I ever bkw.--Calcut­ ta Cor. Boston Journal. Farmer An is. Dr. Lincecum, of Texan fame, has even improved upon Soloman by his discov­ ery of those still more interesting and curious creatures, the agricultural ants of Texas. America is essentially a farming country, and the agricultural ants are born farmers. They make regular clearings around their nests, and on these clearings they allow noth­ ing to grow except a particular kind of grain, known as ant-rice. Dr. Linco- cum maintains that the tiny farmers actually sow aud cultivate the ant-rice. Dr. McCook, on the other hand, is of the opinion that the rice sows itsglir, and that the inSects' part is limiiedfo preventing any other plants or weeds from encroaching on the appropriated area. In any case, be they squatters or planters, it is certain that the rice, when ripe, is duly harvested, and that it is, to say the least, encouraged by the ants to the exclusion of all other competitors. "After tho maturing and harvesting of the seed," says Dr. Lin­ cecum, "the dry stubble is cut away and removed lrom the pavement, which is thus left fallow until the ensuing au­ tumn, when the same species of grass, aud in the same circle, appears again, and receives the same agricultural care as did ihe previous crop." Sir John Lubbock, indeed, goes so far as to say that the three stages of human progress --the hunter, the herdsman, and the agriculturist--are all to be found among various species of existing ants. The Sauba ants of tropical America carry their agricultural operations a step farther. Dwelling in underground nests, they sally forth upon the trees and cut out of the leaves large ronnd pieces, about as b:g as a shilling. These pieces they drop upon the ground, where another detachment is in waiting to convey them to the galle­ ries of the nest. There they store enormous quantities of these round pieces, which they allow to decay in the dark, so as to form a sort of minia­ ture mushroom bed. On the'mould- ering vegetable heap they have thus piled up they induce a fungus to grow, and with this fungus tlfey feed their young grubs during their helpless in­ fancy. Mr. Belt, the "Naturalist in Nicaragua," found that native trees suffered far less from their depreda­ tions than imported ones. The ants hardly touched the local forests, but they stripped young plantations of orange, coffee, and mango trees stark naked. He ingeniously accounts for this curious fact br snnponinn ,n internecine struggle has long been go­ ing on in the countries inhabited by the Saubas between the ants and the forest trees. Those trees that best re­ sist the ants, owing to either some un­ pleasant taste or to hardness of foliage, have in the long run survived destruc­ tion ; but those which were suited for the purpose of the ants have been re­ duced to nonenity, while the aunts in turn were getting slowly adapted to at­ tack other trees. In this way almost all the native trees have at last ac­ quired some espeoial means of protec­ tion against the ravages of the leaf- cutters : so that they immediately fall upon all imported and unprotected kinds as their natural prey. This in­ genious and wholly satisfactory expla­ nation must of course go far to console the Brazilian planters for the frequent loss of their orange and coffee crops,-- Comhill Magazine. 1 he Coptic Church. The supreme head of the Coptic church is the Patriarch of Alexandria, who, however, lives at Cairo. He claims direct apostolic succession from St. Mark, the founder of the Egyptian church, who is claimed as having been the first patriarch, and who is held in the same reverence aa if accorded by the Western church to St. Peter. The other Coptic ecclesiastical otders are bishops, arch-priests, deacons, and monks. The priests are all expected to marry, but the patriarch must be a celibate. He is invariably chosen, either by his predecessor or else by lot, from among the monks of the con­ vent of St. Anthony. There are twelve Coptic bishops, and the patriarch nom­ inates the metropolitan of Abyssinia. Though the Copts are remarkable for their general detestation of all other Christian sects, their principal tenets assimilate with those of the Latin church. They acknowledge seven sac­ raments, enjoin auricular confession and extreme unction. The latter is administered not only to persons at the point of death, but to penitents who have done meet penance after the com­ mission of grievous sin. Evil spirits are exorcised "with candle, with book, and with belL" In celebrating the Holy Eucharist leavened bread is use.l, which has previously been dipped in wine. The Copts are most rigorous in their observance of fast days. Be­ sides every Wednesday and Friday in the year, the Lenten fast is prolonged to fifty-five days, during which no manner of animal food is allowed-- not even eggs, milk, or cheese. Some rites, however, appear to be borrowed either from their Moslem or Jewish neighbors. Thus circumcision is deemed essential in addition to baptism by immersion. The frequent services of the Coptic church are conducted in modern Cop­ tic, that is to say, in Greek Coptic^ which, although not spoken by the . ... .. mil bAjiirsve o unfit Two Rather Doubtful Stories from fn» ftonal Kxperlenre. A few days ago Lucien Alexander received, from a friend in Arkansas, a specimen of that venomous animal, the centipede. Mr. Alexander placed the articulate in a jar of alcohol and has it on exhibition at his store. Almost everyone who has been attracted by it has related remarkable incidents about its family. The centipede is known to be one of the most poisonous reptiles in existence. It is claimed that its sting is sure death, and an antidote for it* poison is among the undiscovered won­ ders of the world. One of these stories related of this species is that of an ex-soldior. He says that when among the Ozark moun­ tains a companion felt one of them crawling up his leg. He knew its sting was sudden and fatal, but the varmint wa9 on him. What must he do to be saved was the question. He knew it would be impossible to shake it off, be­ cause at the least disturbance it would plant its fangs into his flesh. He felt it crawling, and as it came higher and higher on his* limb the perspiration tailed from every pore of his body. Every moment was one of agony, and he began to realize that his life hung on a slender thread. Finally an idea suggested itself. He dealt the oontipede a terrific blow, killing it; but ot course- at the first touch its fangs were inserted in his flesh. Almost instantly he dis­ robed, aud with a common pocket-knife made an incision around the affected part and removed about a pound of flesh. This was twenty years ago,and the man carries an ugly scar to this day; but to that scar he owes his life. Another story, more remarkable, is briefly told. A company of emigrants had camped in New Mexico, and one night oue of the party, who was sleep­ ing on the ground, was awakened by a peculiar sensation on his toes. He looked and saw a monstrous centipede crawling across his foot Only a few feet from him was the camp-fire, and he could see every fiber of the reptile. Knowing its peculiarities and the effect of its sting, he, too, was in a fflve^jof excitement Afraid to move a mustjle, he dared not attempt to shake it off. After a second's pause he reached under his head, got his pistol, and, tak­ ing deliberate aim, fired. It was a life- saving shot for tho man; the centipede divided and dropped in two parts on either side of his foot But here comes the most remarkable part of the story. Within an hour after the shot was fired the men heard a terrible groaning from one of their mules picketed only a few yards away. They went to them and fouud one of them with his left fore leg swollen to an enormous size. The swelling increased, as did the agony and groans of the brute, until it died in about tiiirty minutes thereafter. An examination was made, and it was dis- unon iiumi, AP wr •liitdifia M Mivniann. a Battling Speech at the * f1 Logan in Chicago, And Sires Hetiee that "the Republican Party h Still on Its Feet Here 0-y IM la the United States." " *: i%anc monks, is understood by them all. I covered that the bullet which had But the true Coptic, the language of the Pharaohs, is literally a dead tongue. Father Yansteb, who visited Siout in 17G3, states that he there had the priv­ ilege of seeing the last Copt who un­ derstood his own language, and with whom it was to die. Being 80 years old and very deaf, he was not able to give his visitor much useful informa­ tion. Some portions of the service, such a s the gospel, are first read in Coptic and then explained in Arabic, in order that it may be understood by the people. Naturally, the lives of t^e saints oc­ cupy a large place in Coptic literature, and the place of highest honor, next to the Blessed Virgin and St. Mark, is ac­ corded to St. George--whether to the real St. George, England's patron, saint, or to that evil George, also born in Cappadocia, who headed the Arian heresy in Alexandria, and from time to time superseded St. Athanasius, is not clear. Which of the two is revered by the Copts I cannot say. But I know we were much interested when visiting a very ancient Greek Church in Cairo, dedicated to St. George, by watching a sisterhood of Latin nuns, who, like ourselves, were doing a little sight see­ ing. The kind old priest did the hon­ ors of the saint with charming courtesy, even producing his veritable head for inspection.--Harper1 a Bazaar. Dissatisfied. "You have withdrawn from the Bap­ tist Church, have you, Isoin was asked of an old negro. "Yas, sah, oh yas. Couldu' stan' dem folks no longer. Too much water 'mong dem folks, boss. Didn't mine de baptizin' so much, but it wuz de foot washin' dat got away wid me. Yer see, 'iongin' to our church is a monstrous buck nigger, Bruder Eph Bly. I doan know whuder it wuz er put-up job ur not, but I alius had ter wash dat scoundrel's hoofs. I couldn' 'fuse when I wuz called on, so my only plan wuz ter git outen de church. 1 ain't gwine ter 'spute de fack dat de Lawd is wid dem folks, but it do 'peer ter me dat wid a mighty little lookin' roun' He coul' fine citizens dat's er heap moro kereful 'bout dar pussonal habits, sah. Ez I tells yer, I ain' gwine ter say dat it wuz er put-up job, but tuther day, on er public 'cazion when I wuz a washin' dat triflin' nigger's feet, I seed him look at de wimmen iolks an' wink wid dat daim watery eye o' hizen. Dis weak­ ened me a good 'eal, but it peered ter me like de weaker I got, de stronger his blamed fe6t become. Nor, sah, ain' gwine ter fling no sinnywations on de house o' de Lawd, but I heerd dat de scoun'rel made a bet dat arter he got me broke in er little better, dat he would not arnly make me Wash dem awful lioofs o' hizen, but dat he would 'pel me ter wash his cloze. I'se always been er mighty 'commerdatin' man, but ef I haster do de scrubbin' fur do church jes fur de pu'pose o' enjoyin' er litt'e 'ligion er 'casionally, w'y, sah, I'll drap de 'ligion an' do less work. I ain' lazy, un'erstan', but dar's suthin' mighty tiresome 'bout washin' er big nigger's ieeW'--Arkansaiv Traveler. Women Who Kept a Secret. The success with which Miss Murfee (Charles Egbert Craddock) has hidden her identity under a masculine name has started a string of stories on the subject. "Some years ago," said the magazine man of a group of press men. "there was among our contributors a young fellow who signed the name Birch Arnold. He was bright and am­ bitious snd I wrote him a good many letters of advice and encouragement. This ran on for more than a year and to drop a note to 'My Dear Arnold' be­ came a sort of every-day affair. At last mv young friend wrote that he would call on me, and on the day named a young lady' came in and dqmurely placed on my desk a card marked 'Birch Arnold.' Remembering how I had been *dear-siringv her for a year I laughed outright, and it was soon ap­ parent that she bad enjoyed the cor­ respondence the more because • she had demonstrated that a woman csuld keep a secret. She still writes verses and stories." severed the centipede had entered the mule's foot just above the hcof, and in­ oculated it with the poison f:omthe reptile. The person who related the above incident bears a splendid reputation for truth and veracity, and he em­ phasized that it was a true story, but his audience, nevertheless, gave him a look of suspicion. "It may be true," said one, "but I'll ba blamed if I be­ lieve it.Louisville Courier Journal. The Cashier Who Had No Emotion. On a suburban theater train the oth er night a little party were talking of pathetic scenes upon the stage and how they were variously affected by them. "i'or my part," said a dapper young man, "I never yet saw anytiiing on the stage that could moisten my eyes. I leave the crying to little boys and wo- •men." "Oh, you do, do you?" replied a bluff old gentleman, an ofliccr of one of the railroads; "evory time I hear a young man talk as you do I feel like telling a little incident that once came under my notice in New York City. A party of us sat in a box, 'Hazel Kirke' was the play. None of us had ever seen it. I she.1 a tear or two quietly and unob­ served, but rough old Gen. Mctiae crie 1 like a baby. He was president of the Georgie railroad then, and in New York on business. He was a reg­ ular martinet in his profession, stern and unrelenting. He was an old bach­ elor, too, and so far a? is known never had tender feeling toward woman or kin. He had lived a life solitary and absolutely unsentimental. We were all surprised to see such emotion in such a man, but none of us said any­ thing except young George , of At­ lanta. He laughed at the old General's weakness. " 'Can you witness such a scene as that with dry eyes?' inquired the Gen­ eral with all his sternness of manner aud speech. * " 'Whv, of course I can. I could laugh at it even as I laugh at you.' "'See here, George ,' said Gen. McBae, with great ^earnestness, 'you are n cashier of a bankin Atlanta. In that bank my company has many thou­ sands of dollars deposited. Immedi­ ately upon my return home every dol­ lar of our deposits shall be withdrawn. \rou may be an honest man, but I do not feel safe with our money in an in­ stitution where one of the responsible officers talks as you talk to-night.' "Upon his-return to Atlanta the Gen­ eral did as he promise^ And luckily, too, for in less than six months the bank was nearly ruined by a heavy embez­ zlement by its cashier."--Chicago Her­ ald ' She Didn't Wear a Jersey. "Don't your wife wear a jersey ?' blandly asked the smooth-tongued dry goods clerk of Farmer Furrow, who was making a few purchases for his better-half "Now, look a-here, young feller," said the old granger, with a look of mingled scorn and ferocity, "don't yer be too fresh. I may be a countryman, but I'll be durnel if I'll take any guff from yer." "Why. I didn't mean anything," timidly retorted the clerk. "I merely asked. if your wife wore a jersey." "Well, sir, if that's all yer want to know, I'll tell yer. She milks Jerseys and feeds 'em, but, by gosh! she doesn't wear 'em, confound yer pictur!" --Burlington Hawk cue. In the Legislature. "Mr. Speeker, I arise to place in nomination a man, sir, what we all know sir, to be a roan what ain't got ^ no peer, nowhar. We all know that he hurt their feelings by allowing the be- XtVTmnqnet and reception tendered fo Senator John A Logan by the Union League Club of Chicago, a number of ex­ cellent speeches were delivered by promi­ nent Republicans. Hon. It. G. Horr, representing the State of Michigan, was introduced and spoke as follows: Mr. President and gent'.emen of the Union Leurae Club ot Chicago: It's hardly fair to summon a man as I have been from the woods of Northern Michigan by telegram and (ret him before aach an audience as' this and then com­ pel him to talk extemporaneously after having listened to extemporaneous speeches all written oat. I know there Is a habit gTown up in this oountry that if a man is called upon to say any­ thing unadvisedly, aa I am here to-night, and the morning papers show that he said the things that he ought not to have said and left unsaid the things he ought to have said--I say it is a common practice to relieve one's self by swear­ ing at the reporters; but I wish to say here that 1 have suffered more by the reporters taking just what I did say. Now, there is nothing that would possibly have given me more pleasure than to be preaent here to-night to congratulate the people of Chicago and of Illinois upon the grand victory that has been won here in your State within the last few days, and I wish to say here that there isn't in my judgment a ain trie Republican in the State ot Michigan that is not rejoicing as much as you are in Illinois, and even a good many--now a few respectable Democrats, we have not a fe w--are also rejoicing with yon. We like your citizen, Gen. Logan. We like his style. I can't say why we like him, because the Gen­ eral is present, but I will say this for him, we like him because he strikes out from the shoulder. Now, having served for several years in the branch of the Legislature across the Capitol hallway from where the General has been serving, aye, more than that, I have the right to speak from a eloper relation, for I had the good fortune to live under the same roof with the General for three years. 1 want to say to you to-night, I would rather have one such man as John A. Lo­ gan than a ten-acre lot of mugwumps and dudes. In the lirst place it arises from the fact that we alwavs know where to find such a man aa your newly elected Senator. Where you would find a mugwump God never knows. I like a man who is always on one side or the other on every question, and who isn't afraid to say so. He may bo wrong once in a great while: it's a fellow's privilege to get wrong once in a while, but he will be wronir so you will under­ stand it; he will mean what he says and try to be right, and when he tinds that he is wrong he will get right just as quick as he can. But those fellows I've no use for who are always afraid of being on any side of any question; you can't do anything with them. Suili a man as that never could have been elected in this con­ test down in Springfield--not now. Now I know that you Republicans of Illinoin have a right to rejoice over this success. 1 didn't look for it. It looked to me as though you were at a stand­ still. as though it was a tie, and I think after the lirst three months and twenty-nine days it began to look th t, way to you, gentlemen; and 1 dou't know where we would be to-night if the Lord hadn't removed Hrother SShaw. That re- ppons bilily having been takm by a higher pow­ er, who could btttme the Republican* for step­ ping in and taking advantage of the opportuni­ ty? It was their duty to do it. Just how they did it I don't know; it is too deep for me; it is enough for me to know it is done. \Y e have learned one lesson from the fight of Novemi er last, out of which some of us went with our plumes a little bit drooped, you know, that even disaster sometimes is goouior a party that lias lieen twenty-lour years in l ower. We had begun to tind fault with everybody who didn't run exactly according to our notion. Why, even this saint here before me [indicating Joseph Mediil! didn't always praise us fellows us he ought t > have done. The lesion was this, tiiat any party to be successful wants to pull together, and this contest jus ended has shown that the old elements that used to run in such masculine manner through the Republican party still remain. You had but one ma­ jority, and one man changed would have left you just as you were before that providential interference. And yet the party buried every­ thing and struck out unitealv for the future. Now some people tell me that the present ad­ ministration is being run in such a manner that it is going to lay everv Republican out in the country. I know a good many Democrats who think that they are being laid out. Now it is being run a l.ttlc remaikable. It you notice that in the nominations thus far made, while some of them have been good ones, thsy have so far managed to hit every man who did the most he could to break up this government that they could find anywhere in the United States. It seems to me that if they had raked this country with a fine-toothed comb they couldn't have found anv more of that kind of men than they have found up to date. But you shouldn't be .-urpriaed at this, home peo­ ple say, " Oh, why did he appoint such a man as that? He wasn't loyal during the war." You don't expect them to appoint loyal men, do you'!1 They can't do it; they have got to pick men who didn't stand by their country in trial. It is made up of them. Ko 1 don't find any fault with the present administration for appointing men to office who were not true to their country; they have got to do it. \\ hat I do object to in this adminis­ tration is their removal of men all over the Uuited (States on a false theory. They do it on the ground that the man is--what is that phrase? Oh, yes: offensive partisan; and then they put i ti a man whose offensiveness by way of par­ tisanship is so much worse than the "one they put out, that you can't mention them the same day. Now, 1 don't object to their turning out Republicans if they will only say above board that they want the offices for themselves. There is some truth in that. They are doing it simply bccause they want the hepublieaus out and the Democrats in, and that's all there is to it, and why don't they say so? I know it is asking a good deal of them to tell the truth. 1 defy you to show a single instance wnere they have re­ moved a man--suspended as they say in the pa­ pers --on account of being a partisan who hasn't been succeeded by a Democrat as active a partisan, if not more active, than he was. .sow what Is the gatn? Yet I don't find fault with the appointment of rabid Democrats. I want them appointed. 1 don't want these milk and water fellows to get much on either side, but 1 want this administration run by men who believe iu Democracy. 1 know it is selhsh on my part, for I think that would cure the country as* quick as any medicine you could give the Soople. Will they run the administration on emocratic principles? Some say it is doubt ful, but I say to those who think this slow process of melting is going to get slower, you want to get ready to go. They haven't intend­ ed to be any slower than they can help, l'ou have had removals in this town. Well, did tbey get some delicate man to put* in your postofflce who never whis­ pered op politics in his life? I don't know your Postmaster. I don't suppose he is here--the new one-- but is he a man who was never known politically? Did he never do any- thiug? Did he never take sides? If he never showed his colors, he isn't lit for Postmaster in Chicago. I say that the man who isn't active and conscientious and believes in something, and then stands right up and fights, tor his views, if need be. Isn't lit for any great otHce in this country. I want the offices to be filled always with live, energetic men. I know therj is a theoiy that a capable man should be in office forever; that sounded well enough when I was in. but don't sound no well to the men who are out. Now, 1 hail this election as an announcement that the Republican party is still on its le*t here in the United States, and 1 ball it as an omen that when three years, four years, more ehall have rolled arouud they will find us once more with our armor on, and if they think they have got any stripling tj deal with, they will tind out betore they get through that the Re­ publicans of this country have still got the sin­ ews in their bones and that the struggles they have gone through i nd the one battle we have lost have only given us more strensrth, more heart, and more victory in the future. 1 con­ gratulate you, members of this club, and the General himself on the personal victory which must be to him more gratifying tiian he can express, because l:e was sub­ jected to t-uch a fight as no man has ever made within my memory in the I nited States ior the office of Senator. He enters upon his duties with the experience of lousr years of service. I have no tears that he will do anything that will cause the people of Illinois to regret the choice they have made. More than that, the Repub­ licans of the United States feel assured that now they have still In the councils of the nation a man 'who is always right on all the great questions of the day. Thanking the club for the r kind invitation, and thanking you for listening to my rambling remarks, 1 hope that in the future Illinois may be as successful in the election of her Senators as she has been in the three months just passed. I bid you good­ night. UihUVlS LEUISL4TURB. MRS. CHISHOLM is an "offensive par­ tisan," and is asked to resign. Her husband, son, and daughter were all murdered by Democrats who stand high in Mississippi, and it won't do to is more than qualified, sir, for the posi­ tion for I sarved with him duriu' the wah, sir, he not only represent the great Democratic partee, but, sir, the entire State. During the dark an' bloody days when the pale face of hun­ ger put its bloody hand to the heart of the nation, he was found to be as true as steel, an' grabbed the gory wolf by the la pels of his shirt and shook him until he loudly begged for mercy."-- Arkansaiv Traveler. THE old-fashioned knitted purse of our grandmother's time is revived. V*BT little work was accomplished by bouse on the 23d of May. The Senate Mr. Hartley's bill authorizing the Chicago Commissioners to set MWrt grounds nnvWA to erect aa Academy of Sciences and a Museum of Natural History and Art. Senate* OUlhaa'a bill making the term of township elective on­ cers two years instead of one also passed. The question ot a sine-die adjournment was brought up, but was postponed. In the House, Mr. White introduced a bill to present the use of hernia and butter tubs the second time. Mr. Mu I he ran introduced a bill to prevent the second nae of flour barrels, butter tubs, firkins, lard pack­ ages, and boxes. Both houses adjourned until the evening of May 25. BCAKCELT a dozen members of the Tieilrtsliim appeared at the Capitol on May 35, and both the Senate and House adjourned without the trans action of anv business. On the 26th the mem- before tor reaved mother and wife to live off of the pittance she receives from a clerk­ ship at Washington. It is Print Mat­ thews' opportunity.--Chicago Tribune. THE Democrats at Washington are both mad and hurt over Gen. Logan's election. Congressman Singleton, of Mississippi, says of it; "The election of Gen. Logan will solidify the Repub­ lican party in Illinois and lose us every advantage we gained in the lust elec­ tion. It also makes practicably impos­ sible a Democratic victory in 1888." * bers entered splendidly into the them. The House bill appropriati the publication of the reports of the BtateDairv- men's Association and the Senate bl 1 appronri- atine$ {,o<»o for the support of the Stele Hor­ ticultural Society passed the Senate. Senator whiting called up a motion to reconsider the vote by which the bill to tax telegraph companies a per cent, upon thstr guiai earnings had been passed, and had it tabled. The same course waa pursued with a bJl intro­ duced by Senator Snyder providing foe the punishment of dealers in swill milk and the products thereof, k motion to adopt the House resolution tor the appointment of a Harm as Commission was lost. The aati-adultenSkm bill, providing for the appointment ef an In­ spector of Food and Drink, with beadcuarters at Chicago, passed. A numner of appropria­ tions were voted through. In the ""iisci. a joint resolution was passed in favor of early action looking to reform in the revenue laws and the appointment cf n Revenue Com­ mission. A resolution tc adjourn June 30 sine die was laid on the table. Mr. Johnson's bill changing the time for hold­ ing court in Whiteside County wa* ordered to a third reading, as was also Mr. Humphrey's bill to compel the State's Attorney of Cook County to make semi-annual reports of the fees received by him. and to pav into the County (Treasury lines, lees, etc.. in excess of his salary. The bill making a uniform license of $250 came np, and a vote on laying a motion to kill the measure on the table was carried--52 to 4'.). No further progress was made on the bill, however, the high-license men lefnsing to vote, breaking the quorum. A joint resolution extolling the character of Victor Hugo was adopted. With important amendments, and after a lengthy debate, the railroad consolidation bin was passed to third reading in the Senate on the 27th ult. The piggy-aow bill waa dfrenssed at length, materially amended, and rent to third reading. The House killed the four- judges bill by a vote of 69 to 60. The judicial circuits of the State will therefore have to be content with three judges each for the next six years. Mr. West's bill to protect persona and property lrom danger from ateam engines on pnblie highways passed the House by an almost unanimous vote. It provides that road engines when mesting teams, stock, or horsemen, shall stog until the latter have passed by, and in case Btock become frightened shall stop at a distance of 100 yards betore meeting. It also makes it unlawiul to blow the whistle of an engine on the highway. Speaker Haines announced at the afternoon session that the license bill waa the pending question, and this decision being questioned be was sustained on a call of the roll. On the question of ordering the bill to third reading but lew votes were cast, and the House adjourned without taking a decisive ballot. A JOINT resolution was adopted by the Sen­ ate, at its cession on the 28th ult., fixing Tues­ day, June 16, as the date for the final adjourn­ ment of the Legislature. Mr. Gilbam's pleuro­ pneumonia bill, providing for the appointment ot three practical stock-breeders to constitute a live-stock board, with power to slaughter dis­ eased animals, was passed by a vote of 36 yeas to .ri nays. No compensation is t> be given fear disrased animals slaughtered. The general appropriation bill w.'g taken up and passed. Tne JSenate then went into executive session, and Mr. Curtis moved a reconsideration of the . vote by which the confirmation of «). H. Wright as Commissioner of the Northern Penitentiary failed some days previous. The l'rca dent held \ that this could be accomplished by 26 affirmative votes, and in order to simplify matters the mo­ tion could come up anew as an original matter. Mr. Wright was confirmed by a vote of veas 45 to nays l. Jacob Grosch, of Marion County, was: confirmed as one of the Commissioners of the« Southern Penitentiary, at Chester. The follow­ ing confirmations were also made: W. R. hand" ham, ot Stark > ounty; A. L. Atwood. of Henry;' W. H. Green, of Alexander; and Thomas Blade, of McLean, aa members of the State Hoard of Education. George F. Brown, of Grundy;' Isaac Taylor, of l'coria; A. Lieber Knecht, of Henry, as members of the Board of i Canal Commissioners. F. B. Haller, of Fayette, as member of the Board of Public Charities. Edward Spellman, of Pontiac, as Trustee of the Reform School at Pontiac. In the House, the bill establishing State grain inspection at Kaat St. Louis and Peoria was sent to third reading, and the report of the joint committee on reve-: nue, recommending the appointment ot aoom-, mission to revise tne laws, was adopted. Anap- propriation of flO.tM.o for the Woman's Hospital at Chicago was advanced on the calendar. The license measure was debated amid confusion, and a ret ort of the special committee on the pay-roll was read, recommending the discharge.' of forty policemen and janitors, twenty-three i pages, and thirteen clerk a The report waa adopted, and the House adjourned with the 11- cense bill still undecided. ' * 3, • S ^ 1 •i ' > % , 4 JSili "•4, •' . J Some of Iiigersoll's Latest. » . I call a clergyman's sore throat the .. * parson itis. It's something auctioneers ,, ^ f| never get. _ ' '"i When dyspepsia leaves the world su- -'il perstition will receive its death below. - Treat your wife like a beautiful flower, and she will fill yoor life with the perfume of joy. Genius can not be bred where there is no domestic fireside. I am a believer yi the institution of marriage. It makes a good home the • unit in good government , ^ , Whoever has quit growing is ortho- dox. Whoever thinks that he has found ^ V it a)l out is orthodox. Whenever a man Writes a creed and says that it is the ; end of knowledge that creed is written on tho tombstone of his own stupidity at the grave of his souL lie is through. He is orthodox. If men have been slaves, what ahall I say of women ? Slaves of Blaves. What a frightful position 1 You .know the meaner a man is, just in that proportion he thinks he is the superior of any woman. In love extravagance is economy. Love is the legal tender of the -BOUL Joy is wealth. If ever any of you are going to whip your children again, have your photo­ graph taken in the act. Let it show your red, vulgar face, and let it show the dimpled face of your child. And if that child should die I can not think of a sweeter way to spend an autumn af­ ternoon than to go out into the oountry, and, sitting down upon the little mound, to look at the photograph. If your child has got to get up early in the morning, it is just aa easy to waken him with a kiss as with ft cluh. --New lecture. . "-T; Platinum in Montana. Alder Gulch, Southern Montana, which is estimated to have produced upward of $60,000,000 in gold, stands at the head of the placer producing mines of the country. Platinum is now found to be another and, it may be, a greater treasure of the famed guloh. Last fall an investigating miner, own­ ing a claim near Virginia City, reduced with the common mining pan a quantity of the Band and gravel found in the "pay" portion of the gulch, and sent the concentrates thus obtained to Edi­ son, the electrician, being aware that he would be more concerned about th discovery of platinum than probably any other man in America. The miner's dreams proved to be well founded, and his most sanguine expectations were more than realized. Some days since he received two cards from Mr. Edison, on which were pasted the particles of platinum obtained from tne concen­ trates sent. The cards and samples of platinum can be seen at Virginia City. The local paper looks upon it as one of the most important discoveries yet made in Montana.--Helena (AT. 2'.) Herald. IF you have the means to travel, the best time for this enjoyment ia alter 60. You will then have read enough, to make travel useful and profitable,--- Charles Xordhoff. TARDY recognition insults the gettiaa which it starves and then crowna. « A 1 ' t» j -1 4

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