- - , , . 8HR* ,/rr- IP t ; rntv «Iamdfrtln i. wtii SLTKE. Coiter ami Ptibl stier ILLINOIS. •IcRENRY, TIIK MOTHEB.1M.UILW. " ^A" *' " 'v»: # * '. _• ( _ \ •-. v *- ^^Y"" *""" *v""T" * A!' i 'JLdsd-k tikifc ki».££ . ^4-. pay P BT CHiRLKH rorXEN ADAMa. t*w ttiany qveor dings Obtgi in lis ikad d*rfr*e Iife&orooutd qvito uinlerstnnd; (. I5fefr p*ob!eii rthoy all seem So ileofereBt tolpM AtdooseTn hiy otm fudcrland. I Dhtj i-titn blertty dronbles uud indo iflishftpa• - f Micnui 11 tier leant bit off A cause; tJ»d, votild you pelief id? tiliose mean TW(|M , . chaps, > Diiey ftghtB mit dher moder-in-lairs., Shust dink off a vhite MAN BO Tickod as dot! Vliy not jfif dor old lady a show? f Who vas it Rets oui>, ven der night id vas bo^ Mit mine baby, I shust like to know? ' TJud dlien in der vinter Then Katrine vas sick, Un i ili r iuoinlii^H vas snow y und raw, Who ma'ln rigiidt a ray cup dot fire s« qvickf Vliy, dot vas imuamoder-m-law. Xd Tas von off dfaose voman '8-righdta vellen I been: Dhero vas noding dot's mean abodt me; Vben dor olJt lady vishes to run dot ma-sheen, Vhy, I shust let her rnn id, you sao. Und, vhen dot shly Yawcob was cutting drioks (A block off der oldt chip he vas, yaw!), Bet alio u-jos (or dot chap like some dounsd off bricko, i Dot's nil righdt! She's mine moder-in-law. Veek omit und vook in, id vas alvays der Mme-- Dot voman vas boss off dor house; Budt, dhen, neffer mindt'! I vas gldi dot she came; She v». kind to mine yoneg Yawcob Strauss. •Und ven dhere vas vater to get vrom der spring, Und fireevood to shplit oup Und saw, She vas velcoiue to do it. Dhere's not anjrding Dot's too good for mine mOder-in-law. "\ fl'./ t. V f • 4it-' 'a, THREE WOLVES. ntufcis GRRBT FAnuracnat Three gaunt, grim wolves that hunt for nMtfc Three gaunt, grim wolves there be; ' And one is Hunger, and one is Sin, T t .And one is Misery. 2 ait and think till my heart is sore. While the wolf or the wind keeps Shaking His door, •Or peers at fiis prey through the window pane; , Till his ravenous eyes burn into my brain. And 1 cry to myself, "If the wolf be Sin, Heeha'lnot come in--he shall not come in; 3nt if tns wolf is Hunger or Woe, Be will come to a 1 men, whether or no I" .For out in the twilight, stern and grim, A destiny weaves man's life f<tr him A s a s p i d e r w e a v e s h i s w e b f o r f l i e s ; - ' ! Jmd the threa griin wolves. Sin, Hanger, End Woe, cA man must fight them, whether or no. • •; Traough oft in the struggle the fighter diss. " To-night I cry to God for bread, "To-morrow night I shall be dead; For the fancier ore strange and scarce sane, That flitvke specters through my brain; , ( And I dream of th» time long long ago, . When 1 knew not Sin, aud Hunger, and Wat. IVro are three WMVPS that hunt for men, ' And I have met the three. And one is Hunger, and one is Siq, . And one is Misery: - "Thr. c pairs of eyes at the window psHs • „ Are burned and branded into ipy brain, ' ' Xiko signal lights at sea. /. •: MM* f^SYKESY. BY JOHN M'GOVEHN. In a city like Chicago there *re on OTery side, yenin" men who seem to have caught the smile of Fortune. Tkev stand on the top round of the ladder, and they cry cheerily to the surging company beneath them' that there is plenty of room up there. I happen to hear the other day how the grain trade- had lifted and supported a climber. „L»et us first philosophize, merely, that, when the good Dame Fortune' smiles, she is apt to be looking at a bright, active, cheerful, temperate fel low, and the more abstemious his habits may be, the more delightful is the smile she seems to bestow. Well, this young man was a Hoosier. He lived in a Hoosier village, let us say , f Warsaw, because it iffas not Warsaw. ,, and this Hoosier village was feeding many railroad passengers and reckon- A'-' ii. them in her census. The place was •' - mil of railroad slang, new railroads, , .j ibmaness, and traveling men generally. » '"The young man--let us call him Hvkesv a , • was bursting with the desire to suc- , • ' oeed; he was boiling over with ideas; •? he Mas "dead on to" the weaknesses, ' . t ^timidity and average humility and ig- ,Wi; ^lorance of mankind; yet he himself was f I - abo ignorant and inexperienced. And 'j:l ». < • M to capital, Sykesy had, on this pivotal ; >'i 1 • xaorning in his life, just eighty cents. 'i ff'V:: But he met a good man that very morn ing, and secured an idea. An idea planted in a busy brain may tie the seed of wonderful things. George Stephenson's idea, and James Watt's idea, made it possible for Yanderbilt to give eight children $11,- 4 ) 0 0 , 0 0 0 e a c h . . . . Now Syksev, with his idea just se- <jured, rented an offiee. "Take it, me lioy!" cried his admiring friend, the : landlord. "Its all right if you fail--but jou'll not fail.'* ' Xiocal wh^at-buyers in those days had lieen forced to ship whaat to the East And await returns, being meanwhile at tiie mercy of the middle-men. Syksey imemit to actually buy wheat and pay r iflxe local man the cash. This was\ an tdjpjtirely new thing in that region. ' JBO Syksey got on the next train and ;r irode to the end of his 80 cents' worth, wheat-dealers were only too glad to see him. They sold him five cars of No. 2 red, and would have sold him flliy more had he dared take on so Viuch. But in buying five cars he had * , made no less than $50. A young man, pfi ia without a cent, who had no money with U -which to get home, had made $50 for Mb day's pay. The sellers of the wheat Wpre to start the loading of the cars "that afternoon and -bring the bills - of lading, in Sykesy's name, to Warsaw the next day. Syksey was to get home, d irind' it was snowing hard. But what was snow to Syksey, the man of large ideas ? A passenger train came and went--no use in bothering the passenger men. A 1 .freight train rumbled in. Sykesy lmows the conductor. "I'd like to take ye back, Sykesy," . ' taid the train man, "but yon know how $• \! jHri*-" .»t , Cv "All right," said Sykesy, "IH just s*»ih 3^'r i,si£ j". £ ^ralk down the other side of the train, kbd you needn't bother your head." So Sykesy climbed on an out-of-the-way •and-car far down in the train, and When the brak^nan afterward came •long on top the train and looked down pa. the contraband, interdicted, and il- fc-it Sykesy, that brakeman wheeled aotround and at some risk of falling, -iuraad his brake with his back to the * platform-car below him. Thus it came rShat Bykeay was not discovered by the ij^as-eyed trainmen, and rode home in **UHt, snow, and glory. • The next day we see Sykesy at the want. $2,800. How much you?" "Twenty-seven hundred and fifty," says Sykesy. "Leave the fifty to iny credit." Sykesy had bought at a dollar ten; he could* sell in Philadelphia, net. track, at a dollar thirty; freight (and insur ance), 18 cents ; net cost to Sykesy in Philadelphia, $1.28; 2 cents on 2,500 bushels, $50. Sykesy had made $50. Good idea! Beside the $6.25 discount, it was money to the banker to pay ont money^Sin Warsaw and receive it in Philadelphia. This was why he was so accommodating. Now^it is not every young Hoosier in Indiana who has a chance to make $50 a day and be treated with consideration by bankers and with altsolute venera tion by small dealers in grain, and Sykesy had not lost sight of that fact. It may be imagined in what a very rage of enthusiasm he devastated Northern Indiana. He bought here and he bought there. The railroad men ran after him; the telegraph company put "Sykesy, Esauire," after his bills, and he sent on to Philadelphia no less tl^n three thousand cars of grain in three months. That is a mountain of grain, dear re&der --a million and a half of bushels! It must not be understood that Sykesy was to make 2 cents a bushel for any length of time. "Other buyers were quick to imitate. The market was treacherous. The exporters at Phila delphia were careftii to pare down Sykesy's profits. But for all ttiis, and with all their business strategy, Quake, Kimball & Quoke gazed with awe and admiration at this young whirlwind out 'west. It took away their dignified breath. Then their "thrift" came to their succor. So they telegraphed to Sykesy to come to Philadelphia. They wanted to see him. But Sykesy's head was n;>t easily turned. He telegraped back that the interests of the trade re quired his close attention to business. Another request, answered similarly, and then their came a peremptory com mand to "Come on or quit!" Sykesy went. He was received by Quake, Kimball, & Quoke with open arms and endearing terms of affection. They wanted him on a salary:--this young man Avho had made $3,500 in three months! About $1,200 a year would do, they thought! "Sykesy, yon don't know nothin' about how India is knockin' us!" said old Quake. "India is a doin' of us up! In a few years we won't be sliippin' a quar ter of grain to Liverpool--you hear me! India is ruinin' us--and Odessa!" "You don't know," said the eloquent old Quakev, "how the risk is all with ns. You--buvin' right-'n'-left out there in bucketfuls, and we a trvin' to feed it to people in Yurr.^ aivl keepin' all hands i-mpl%ed at hum! No, sir, you've been makin' more money than we kin stand, fcr I tell ye India is doin' of u;i up!--and Odessa!" So, rebel as he might, these wera the terms for Sykesy--"net track. Phila delphia, " poor Sykesy joked to himself --a salary, or no more connection with Quake, Kimball & Quoke; no* more symposia with bankers; no more tow ing aud scraping from the telegraph people; po more, incense from the rural grain dealers; So Sykesy made the medicine as sweet as the exporters would tolerate, and swallowed it--eighteen hundred a year and all expenses of the trip paid up. This concession by the Hoosier buyer would go far, so Quakey would have Syksey believe, to continue the export trade. India would have to stand back and Odessa. "Sykesy," said the jovial and very excellent old exporter, "you've seen tftle stuff grow out of the ground. You've seen it carried to town, dumped at the station, and loaded on the car. Now you just stay here till you've seen it aboard ship. Well show you how we get it out 'o the country." Behold, then, Sykesy on a stool be side old Quakey, behind a •window, in front of which stands aline of, perhaps, thirty vessel agents. Quakey is no youngster. He has been captian of a volunteer fire company in earlier days; he has been in the export trade thirty years; he knows every vessel that comes into port, and can give the mari- tine insurance men points on age, con dition, and capacity. Now the vessel agents begin the morning's encounter. The firm means to engage abont sixteen vessels, but the agents do not know but that the number will be only one. Again it may be thirty. The ships are on the other side of the ocean, about to come across. The first agent comes up. "What's your figure. Bill? Hurry up there, now!" cries the impressive Quakey. Oh! What do you mean ? A rate like that for the Mary Jane?--why I know her; she was B 2 when I was a runnin' wid the masheen! Go 'way now! Give the other boys a bid!" "But what will you give?" asks the agent, not visibly affected and not will ing to loose his place that way. And so, as the firm want sixteen vessels and the rest of the line agents look savagely in sympathy with No. 1 in the line, a bargain is soon made. The good ship Mary Jane, now leaving some far-away wharf, is to arrive at Philadelphia and load in thirty days with, say, 160,000 bushels of No. 2 red wheat, whiqh is now lying cool in the warehouses along some new railroad in Indiana, 900 miles away. Quake, Kimball & Quoke have re ceived cable advice that it is safe to buy sterling exchange and send any quan tity of wheat, prompt shipment, at 52s 4d in Lixerpool for each eight bushels. That comes near $1.75 per bushel, and the difference between that price and the Philadelphia market ($1.30) lies in ocean freight, insurance, charges, and profit. Prompt shipment in sixty days. Now, to cover the cargo of the good ship, Mary Jane, the Pliiladelphia firm telegraphs to a New York house for, say, $380,000 w6rth of sterling ex change, sixty days at, say $4,84 i. That operation binds the measure of value for the price of exchange fluctuates, while the figure of the wheat bargain made at Liverpool, dependent on de livery, does not fluctuate. In sixty days the firm will have $380,000 London that must be transferred to New York. Then if they own that r.iuch exchange, already tnmght, there vmsm ps^jppipil froMto tike marine insurance office; he shows his papers and gets his policv. Then he goes tfytfie New York bank. He shows liis ^harter of the Marv Jane, signed by agent and captain; he shows the ralroad weighmasteKs certificate that there are 160,000 bushels of wheat; ho shows the Grain Inspector's certifi cate that it is No. 2 red; he shows his ocean freight bill; he shows his cable advice as to price; he shows his pur chase of sterling exchange, and, signing over the outfit to the bank, he* r!rn\vs against the cargo and--for a discount-- frees his capital for further purchases. So the Mary Jane disappears from the visible supply, and becomes one Of those celebrated cargoes off coast that we read of in the Mark Lane reports. So go the sixteen ships. It is a busy place--the exporter's office. Now "a cable from one country, now from an other. "Havana--Quake, Phil.--Give you (equal to $1.35) sixty days." "Liverpool--Quake, Phila.--Give vou (equal to $1.36)*--sixty days." "Bar celona--Quake, Phila.--Give you (equal to $1.37) seventy days." So come the cables. So go the ships. The Indiana farmer sells, and smiles, and wonders if the "speculators" at the stations will get their money back. . But Quake, Kimball & Quote fail to get as much grain as they can handle. Sykesy must go west again. And west he goes, with a good knowledge of the wheat trade, a wide acquaintance and a clear head. He buys corn, wheat, oats, barley, flaxseed, and oil-cake. The banks are charging a quarter of 1 per cent, to cash the buyers' bills, of lading given by the railroad. Sykesy deposits a small amount of money in his New York bank and, by drawing checks against that bank, and sending the ladings by mail for deposit at par. is able to underbid the other buyers (now thick as flies in the market), for he saves a quarter of 1 per cent. He sends his check westward; he sends his ladings eastward by the same mail. Sometimes his check goes to New York by way of New Orleans, for it is eastern exchange and handy to have. Thus Sykesy, without a thousand dollars to his name, may have, for short periods, immense sums of deposit in New York. As the bank pays interest on daily bal ances he receives notice one month that he has been credited with $500 interest on balances of some $800,000. His in terest receipts average, say, $150 a month. Not bad for a young Hoosier, was it? At the end of the first year Quake, Kimball & Quoke, probably discover ing his little piece of financial acumen, cut his salary to $1,500. And yet they have profited by his low bids. "But India is terrible, me boy!--and Odessa!" The next year India booms to $1,200; and the next year the coral strand actuallv forces Sykesv salary down to $1,000.' The firm sent lum up into Michigan to see if they coulU not beat Toledo and J)rtroit out of two cents those towns wore making by cashing ladings and sending back the money to Michigan by express. It was on onerous tax. India was beginning to boom again. So up Sykesy went, armed with letters from Gcryernors and Senators. He ex plained to the Michigan men. They took him to the banker to see about it. The banker could not deny that it the New York Bank would take a 1*11 of lading at par, and U Sykesy's checks were good, it would "do up" Toledo and Detroit, but |«rivstely the gpeat man told the "boys" that Sykesy was too smart a chap for tbemi "He talks first-rate polities; he twttp on the liquor question Jbom Maine to Kansas; he is clever on religion, and ike knows altogether too much abont bankin* to be a safe wheat man. I tell ye, boys, ye'd better let that felter alone." It took an extra we*fc to pacify capital, restore confidence iVu Michigan) societr, beat Detroit and Ttfiedo, amil keej) lodia nnder control. Thea Sykesy was to be sent to South- em'Indiana. "I've a man thes* whose- waut of mlgmevt has cost me 380,000,,r wrote Quake. The man had' bought double bills of lading. He had bar gained! wift tramp* for Palace Hotels. He Had fowl no sense at all. Smithi went Sykesy. Ah, tli."* was the rtrat time the world had turned the eold tfhouldlert/l htm. He would sit at the inBtruriwnt in the telegraph office. "Give you thirty net track Philadel phia '"Girre yr*i thirty half net track Philadelphia!--that beats Chicago ^mar ket!" So woraM go the telegrams dong the railroad to every station. But ilever an answevc. The poor boy watched the Chicago market. He never took, his own chances and made offers that ought 11 jSfaw., to have caught any seller. Still r ever I i a reply--not erem a return telegram at j Sykesy's expense. A compassionate |; She nn in Chicago. They tried it. They did\it. Warsaw was hardly big enough to hold th«m. Sykesy attended to their buying and made a commission. The millionaire returned to the fray. He broke Warsaw. Sykesy made his little "eighth," and speaking in a speculative sense was the only man in Warsaw. Then, as India began to fairly belch forth cargoes of wheat, Sykesy moved up to Chicago. The big board had use for just such men, and in five years he did a business that made a fortune. At 31 years of age he waa worth $200,000. He had dwelt on the edge of the Western Maelstrom, and never looked ink) it until he got a commission. He had lived in America, where young men wake up. He had let whisky alone. He had been a man of his word. And, al>ove all, he had done business wjth men of large ideas. At Pliiladelphia there is no cargo for the good Mary Jane. Quake, Kimball & Quoke send a lot to Cnl>a once in a while, and bring back a few cigars. But as for India, she has it all her own way --India and Odessa! And at the railroad station in Indiana, the farmer who comes to town sells his eighty-cent wheat ruefully. "I wonder," says he, "what has become of all them ere Philadelphia speculators. They was putty gqod fellers--all on 'em-- purticulerly Sykesy!"--Chicago: (/UT- rertt. IT If AS ROT DKAB JAKES. The Cottage by the Sea. " . In my imagination the cottage by the sea is always occupied by a newly wed ded pair: a marvelously handsome man, chivalrous as a Scottish knight and brave as a Numidian lion, and a dainty little darling in pink and ruffles, with a coil of sunny hair, and a nature as shrinking as a violet. She regards him as a model of perfection, and he rests serenely under the impression that she is faultless. * In real life the husband does not go on forever assuring his companion that he "could not live without her," lavish ing carresses, and calling her "sweet;" nor does she always exert herself par ticularly to make home pleasant for her lord and master. Common humanity cannot exist on rose leaves and kisses, consequently he discovers ere long that supporting a wife, demands something more serious than wearing buttonhole boquets, and scenting his kerchief with White Bose, or Jockey Club. She learns that house keeping is not as romantic as she thought at first, Tliat it doesn't consist altogether of training the ivy to climb at the east window, and smiling sweetly at tea. There is work--real drudgery --to be done. Ere long the rent of the aforesaid cottage bv the sea falls due, and it con tinues to fall due with startling regu larity. That arouses him somewhat from Iris dream of happiness. Pres ently he in aware that there is such a bdwg in existence as a tax collector, and before long he recognizes tfce fact that butchers must be attended fo, and that fmkers are heartless enough <o ex pect money in return for th^r wares; also (hat dressmakers do not worfr for' nothing, and that milliners have rights that mmst be recognized. With such reminders it is- not wonderful that ohe who satflgf-- Tjeave iMw not darling,", in a voice full of tremulous pleading; bids fair become an inveterate scold", or that he wonders distractedly, if res# is found anywhere, except "under the daisies."--Mfinj J- Murphy, in St. Louis Mat)mine. The Cradle «i Liberty. The following is a at<»y which Bishop Williams is s.rid to be very fond of re peating to the- studenfi* of the (Epis copal) theological semihanry, at Middle- town, over which he psesiilea: Question--Where ww the cradle of liberty first plaaed ? Answer--On Plymouth Rock. Q.--Who placed the «cidik of liberty oo Plymouth R*«©k ? A.--The Puritiba fattfams. Q.--Why dicSt the Pliritan fathers, pfiace the cradle oltliben%r am Plymouth Bbek? A.--That the «iadlfc be handy S>r rocking liberty to *lkep while the Puritan fathers wiere cutting:the tongues Mit of the Quakertfi'mouthsi This storv, onetof many, jokes -which ISfebop Williams* ii is sajsil delights in crocking at the expense o£'M» own an cestors, falls in withitHe spirit of the tones and will no tfcubt Hit a number of tfow people also dbseended.' from good oil New Englaialisifc>ck>..:"---Waterbury An IniMcent ttiii. felt giddy, anill light-spirited, friend advised the Hoosier to go back I tiXbe? wanted Jo fliitv^uaditflBae^were plenty to Warsaw. ""You're a stranger in tSese jofigood-looking men amund But he parts." said fee. Even Sykesy grew di~ | liial her. He yta* .aisnjeirfe egoist and spondent- . she was nothing-but ai girl. He was "These aenem" wrote he to Quakeyv talking about tfcte gwafeaeas of some vote tho straight Democratic tidictf g^»t men, himself iiicfiidjid. She was* and ship to Baltimore. It's no us*.- bearing it like a<Jiei*>ihe. He did no*t They 11 not sell to me." But Quakey | <£ieam he couldLbe booiig her. wrote back: "Stick there! It waHt) "As I was saying^. Thomas Jefferson you who are losing. It's me. I know | was perhaps what's in vwi." f "Tell me," she saiifc wiliii a bland and So Svkesv sat down and wrote out! a innocent expression!--as- if she saii, hektograpkf or aone other O'GrapHir; I "I'm only a gsrl; you dntte"--"tell n*, dispatch, raking in a fervid piece of | did you knojr Jteflfeisonj personally ?" rhvme, if »ome dealer in the latitodle i "Thank y6Mi iMt;:X atniaot so old aa that." ] iHstrMMin* nperimw oT m Maotlra Drummer on • Western Hallway, I have a friend who is a commercial traveler, and on his return from a trip he always comes np to see me, and en- k livens my existence by a recount of his experiences on the road. "Well, Charlie, anvthing new?" said I, as Charley tilted my best chair against the freshly-papered wall and puffed vigorously at one of my stogas. "Not much," said he. "I'm sick of the road. Too much of a dog's life. I'm going to quit and settle down." I expected this. Charley has been going to quit during the four years I have known him, but he never quits, and, in common with many more drum mers, will shake the hand of many a ho tel clerk yet before he finally settles down. "What's the matter, trade dull?" I asked, as Charley mechanically looked around for the bell button. "You're not in a hotel, my dear fellow," «nd I drew forth a bottle and glasses from my ctipbofcrd. "Well, here's luck," said' Charley, as he lifted his glass to the light. "No, trade's pretty fair, but it isn't as it used to be. Why, when I first went on the road there was some fun in it. I onlv carried one trunk, and I could generally get the trade to look at -my samples., Now I carry three, and it's the hardes. kind of work to get a man into the sam pie room. You don't know Billy Jack son, do you? Travels for a Chicago house. Always registers with a tooth pick." I replied that I hadn't that pleasure. "Pleasure! Humph! It would afford me the most unbounded pleasure to get even with him for a little trick he placed on me the other day over in Il linois. "I was going to Effingham on the Vandalia. I got on at Casey, and the first fellow I saw was Billy. 'You're just the fellow I was looking for,' said he. 'There's a pretty girl in the front car, and I think you can get acquainted if you work the thing right. I've tried it myself, but I didn't seem to catch on.' 'Tve got quite a reputation among the boys in this direction, so I easily swallowed all Billy said, and followed him into the smoker. I thought it mighty strange that a girl should be in the smoker, but there she was, sure enough, and yon can het she was a daisy. She was seated by herself when I entered, near two gentlemen. I thought they eyed me rather more than was necessary. However, 1 didn't say a word, but quietly seated' myself'oppo site tli£ dame and commenced, tactics^ "After I had looked at her o®ee o» or twice she began to smile. 'Great Scott,' said I to myself, 'this is easier than I thought for.' So I smiled: baek. This was all the girl wawtedl She be gan to move nearer me*. Then sine' nodded her Ite&d and smiled severtuf times. In all my experieace I neveir had a girl act that way toward me in» such a short time, and I saw there waB something wrong, although fcr the life of me I couldn't think what it was. I wasitft going to btwk out, however, so IT smiled at her again*, and this time she came and sat down beside me. Then' she called me heir dear James, and' threw her arms around my neeki "At this juncture one of the' gentle- menT had noticed came up> and ex plained He was one- of the keepers in' an asylum along the • road somewhere, jand waa*in charge of the girl, who had Jgone crasy over a love affair. She im*- 'agined every fellow who took any no- jtice of her to be her dear James.- "This was all I wanted ito know,' andl If star tecSfbr the door, lint it wiwsV any use. Tl'« girl hung oi^<. and gpfct; more excited every minute.- "In thw meantime onoe or; twoxrf the Bays had'gone through the train, and wiien they came baclr they brought with them'quite a number* of interested spectators* The keepe«radvise i; me to Sumor her, and I did, U. hunuored her uillt coul<9. Every tim«T trie<ir' to get away she wvmld get violent, andll didn't like to exaste her more • than • I could as 1'JW.W I was making my au dience uiatomfortable. Such remarks MttVJuliet lias found lien- Romeo,' and ttis like, «ere frequentljrpassei'-3aroiind, und I wa^tfteginning* to< think it would be a; greatt relief to ane<*4' a;' trnsn going iiba other -way on the sson traiak, when ae drew np> at Effingham/. "TliemlF made a break, off ilie train. Tlib last thing I hea^rfl as tfce train pulled out" vas, 'Come Stock tG< me, dear James 1* I haven't lieaad nvmeh else sinne.. WH&re was Billy ? OH. he got off akTKatopolis."--Now Yorbi Sun. ?ffi ..Jbank: Jie, ">re bills of lading foT $ 500 bushels of No 2. red, lulled law?* '•*„ Jo me, Christopher C. Sykes, Philadel- phla, iiOtifr Quake.-Kimball & Quoke, y '-*• -i ' T7 Walnut Street. Here is Christopher WMM'I* jO Sykes' name on the back- Now take ^ f ***'." tkepe bills and give me the money. Its " "r 4 and a quarter for you a^ jp^ know £'•-.JtsperfecHy safe." „ , T., f e - ' i " T h e b a n k e r Bays ?l see, Sykesy. Iti \ '•*«!! right. I know your plan. It's good. t:} > I " "jet us see: Twenty-five hundred at m 'I dollar thirty--that's $3,250; eighteen 4^ freight I ace that's $450. You ipr' Stems'. would nott send him a "collect message refusing to sell--anything would. Be better titan this everlasting sileaue-. Then the compassionate friend and Sykesy went to a pop-shop and eternal! friendship over a bottle of saparilla pop--staff that many hmnre young men in tiioae days drank witikint fear o£ blue vitriol or marble dust. He sailed otit, am# sfo?v who was only an innocent, ignorant £trl, who did, not know anythrftg, to herself: "I thought he (Muhiia't stand thti% San Fran&iwa,(fJi/)7(ifmi<L'le. Wmt HfeHMEaow. I askefMaiCJliiwagP' storeet car driver -iff Whe» they got back, to the teleg*aph I a certain .bridge fee «r six blotdss fronu office tifaere was a stack of dispatfrhes. ' 1 *1 "Sell you 10,000. Send us anolfcer. "Accept your offer. Bully for yon!" "Caii give yon 15,000 same lfgure Didn't know you meant businessi?* So ran the telegrams. Sykesy hadl caught the vegion. "-You see the old man at Philadelphia was. right," said the happy l)uyer. He knew more*n yon and me put together. He's: got more spine than town!* his line paesal:)!®. He didn't know, he said,.whetitec ib was bein^nsed OQ not. "W<iir,. yt* ought to know, ""I] said. ^Donitt p««f»le get offj your car here to>go t«i» bridge?" The man, looked, ainnand aDd hurt, "people jpt off my car.- Usee,"' he said, "but I dtmlt know when®- ttaey go." I g«.<t off. I liHpt thinking. It nearer occunwd to mc* be fore that Hke driver didn't know wh^tbe- whole | come of hoapassengers+rfter th«»y. lfett his car. 1 soon learned, what IWUOBMK ipassio»ate friend, in astonishment, "if yoa had the •"Now," said the comj proper idea of your ability, you would never buy another bushel of casb wheat for the East. Yon would buy options for the West, The friend M- has been no possible fluctuation--to the | hil»ited a little V>ook to Sykesy. Ihe firm. The firm does not wish to gam-1 friend had made commissions that gam-1 ble--to either win or lose. Then an other person in the firm makes a con tract with a red or a blue or a white freight-line for cars from Indiana. And then the wheat Itegins to travel east ward. Your little town of Warsaw, for instance, might load seventy-five cars in one week. All that is needed is an outlet--a market at Liverpool, or Havana, or Havre. On to Philadelphia' comes the Mary Jane. The 160,000 bushels of wheat are run into her hold, three-quarters in bulk, and a fourth laid on top in sacks [to hold the cargo m ahitfi Quake rery of one of them. He pouialed his patiieat legs wijfcfti two big valise* all tho way to i that btilge and found torn up> by the roots, ami then mauleil himselfi all the way KHUMI to the next one.--Iiwyi&te, in I3nx»klyn Eagle. A MARRIED woman in Chicago has a sirtter so closely resembling her that the huaband of the former is sometimes month to the amount of $800. Do you know, Sykesy there's mora I ^ teiT ttam'apart truth than poetry in what your old man 1 _-- says about wheat? It's goin* down. 1 DIVERS, by a recent French inven It s got to go down. And these fellers J u0n, are said to be enabled to go down, that's pilin' it up in Chicago will never J % distance of 800 feet below the surface sell it at what they're pavin'. Your old | „f the water. man isn't squealin' for nothin'." Idea No. 2. Sykesy went back to Warsaw. He turned his eye toward Chicago. He turned his back toward Philadelphia. He knew a thing 6r tw6 about wheat himself. There were in Warsaw a coterie of wise men who A SLANDER is like a hornet. If you cant kill it dead the first blow, you tud /IMIU i>MiV Q millionaire better not atoku.at it. To be thoroughly good natured, and yet avoid being imposed upon, shows great strength of character. Bruslie*. Thle • ^wgetable kiugdrtm^ largely di!awn: for brush material. * To say nothing? •£ brooms, thwre isaigfass called Tampuioj from the place of it:* exporta-, tion, t'lhtf i» used in t fie making of hand scrultbiagr brushes. It is a a-uRind |of ligl >| sttraw color, quite Hough ancil jelilatie possesses ;the uno^val quality of rct:iiniing its rigid Hbj, liX^waver mut i& soaked-it may be in wateiv. FTaAtened steel wi^e, wifiliithe tempon for flue-el^aniiigji>nishes aadt IfORsfcreet and stable use,- Shese are sc< (Widtse and rigid that thfcyt would tie l^etten- desija^natedi as s«fn|ierB. 1 jhtr titers i» a wre bi-jish tbt«4 is the \ ar^- iopposito of these. It iss made of steel: j< «rbmtsa wire tha* is so vtvjr fine tl;^ itr jl^f»es.,((iT«ite beyoidl the fitJ»»t gauge Kwd& iUitliibi country. It >^>es. to wit# i» jknoww as forty-four- Fftighsh Httishes made from tlu j^ :«re empU)ye«l i fi i tib» pr^luetijOn of a^pcMmliar fiia^thioa niUvwr. Whei* silveri- used in plate, vJiether it is .*>lid c«r un extensdl de- posat, it is jot oft«Qt wmprestwdl or houdencd by any mvalltuucal mei4ns» ex cept when id is bumteiied to make a poliah. Tlgp "satilafiniidi," of QIMW or silver ornaments, nunch adtnina<i of l*fce years., is prodtmuti by these :%rnshes of fine ^#eel arail brass wiiset The brushes i«e rotary rod are ruoi at high velocity.. The e'lfcufr of their- action on the soft .surface silver is t#» raise the particlf a so th^, they will reflect the light aaa ]>olisli*-<£ surface m«X1, but give a soft, velvety% nefractive Sight to th«o eyes. This elinicant effect prtxluce4 by tlv soft wire: brushes tlat feel und®# the ^band almw* like cyliaders of (low,^ The comntm way of fastening brisldfcy an«l hairs aiad Tampico ^tass in bnv^&es is with commooi jritch, which is kep® hot at a convenient bench, and is kept duid Hy tho admixtures of a little tallo-w. The workm an grasps from a bunch or pile of bristles a few in has fingers, doubles them over at the middle, windia a bit of fine twine about the butt or end, dips that end in the hot pitch, and presses the bunch in a hole in the wooden back of the brush to be. But a better pro cess is wiring or twining; in jsither case the looped brush being held by>ar«1fes or twine that passes through a small hole in the back of the larger hole that receives the bristles But as all these wires or strings are seen on the back of of the brush, tl^y must be covered by a false back for ni<re work. The writer has a specimen with a solid back that was made more than fifteen years ago. In this the bristles doubled wera held by a wire staple into the holes, and the ends of the staple being crossed by a die, the wire was forced into the wood by a plunger, and really locked inytae material. The,.brush lias beejj^ill^con- stant use duringkthese years,*slShd is "as good as new." ^ Brudder GabTs Biggest Little Sin. Brother Gabriel, a good and sensible old man, has charge of one of the col ored bongregations in New Orleans. Here is a portion" of an exhortation which I heard liim deliver at a class meeting: "BREDDREN A*' SISTKRN IK DE LAWD I)ere is big sins an' d'ere is little sins --stealin', lyin', killin' an' sech; dem is big sins--reg'lar busters, an' de deb- bel's got liis speshel fryin'-pan all het up an' reddy fur dem kine ter pitch rite in an' sizzul. But den agin, dere's sneakiness an' eussin' an' backbitin', dat ole Mas' Deb'l ain't quite so ferce on; dese is mo' littler sins. 'Mungst de bigges' ob dese little sins is one you's all parfeck uster; yes, my breddren in de Lawd, dar's ole Unk'l Peter in dat dark cornder, 'bout ter fall inter it dis blessed minnit. (Unk'l Peter t.v^s to look solemn and sits !>olt uprigk*.) I mean de sin ob gwine ter slf«p in w«etin'. Whiles I is rastlin' wid satan i-«f yore pore mizzerbul souls, you is takin' good, comferbul little cat-naps rite in de tempul ob de Lawd, an' 'fore dese eyes, w'at is streemin' wid tears at res'in' on sech desput wickedness. * Be- war'! my breddren an' sistern in de Lawd, les' you dnz, lak de giddy gal in de Testament, whar de grate" Postle Paul wuz a-preachin' an' a-strivin' wid de Sperit in de tent' story ob a high buildin'; an' a giddy gal projeckin' 'bout couldn't set in her seat lak fokes God made, but raus' highst shesel, up in de winder sill, puttin' oue eye at de 4)'ys an' tudder at de preacher, an' let- tin' her min' gad 'bout, an' so she 'gan ter nod, an' fus'thing everybody know'd she wuz fas' ter sleep, am' los' her bal- unz, an' tumble plum oufn jde tent' story winder dowiv onto die' banket (ban quette) underneaf, an' lo am' beholes, wen de great 'PostBe Paul iwi' de res' ob de breddren got down dar they picked np twelve baskite oH> de fragments! "Dis, my belubedl breddren an' sis- tern, is de awful condishun dem'll fin' deyselves in w'at take de Laavd's tem pul fur a bodin' houiBev'^--Detroit Free Press. The Rugby Foot-ball is the great Rugby game, and is played principalis tearing the Christmas term. "A Rhgfoy boy," says a late head of a schooHhouse, "looks forward to it in the summenrand regrets in the spring. He lienors good foot-ball players and', dfespises poor players. He will talk foot-ball in sea son and out of season." ' Biigby foot ball is quite different froau the Eton and Harrow game. It is mueftrougher, Hhough Bugbeians now sigli over it, and declare that it is not played I Half so vic iously as it used to be ! It- ii; true that iit has been shorn of some off ife terrors since the days of the migh'tyv contests between the Upper BencM) or first iftvelve of the sixth form, ai dl the rest iof the school, when the game l>ecame a ibattle, and the head-master liiatl to in terfere and stop the match, because it was so little like plav. That was in the jb>mve days of old. Those old ways have cltonged. Not very long^igo rules were made declaring that, "Though it is lawful to hold any player dhi a maul, tbwtholding does not include attempts jto ifihnottle or strangle, which uaie totally opposed to all the principAbs of the |gaane." And again: "No oum> wearing jprcjeoting nails or iron pltitbv on the sole»( or heels of his booths or shoes sliaillfoe allowed to play. " TIH's. gives a pleasant idea of what the g^ane once jwaa.^ The very terms *" man iiitg" and f'Be.Trhzmage," still in use, show, what the ^aiaeuow is in its milder fonna. You renumber, I do not> donilK, East's proud! description: . "Quitb» another thijzg; from your private-school game. Wlij;. there's been i two i*>ffiap-l)ones broken this half and.'a ddsus fellows laiaefiD; and last year.»);fal!f»w Iiad his log?: baoken!"--From:>"Sckovl-liJ'e at Rugfig™ by Elizabeth Robiim* Pen- imcM. Buchanan and Clay- Mas. Sherman, wif(;. of :tUn» Senator, sayevshe learned very earl;h i» her resi- ileiiuein Wasliington:, thatq}i»fiiticH were nfitWGff allowed to aflei)t tliw nceetings in stMuety of thosic who ,wer«i IStiifterly op- pQneil to each othtuv und ]ifct»5y recalled fii!t>«XJn gently given nherr bw President puuhanan when she andif litT husband tiAtwmded a state dinner r ijamtv given l*v liiiai in the White House, iiu isiiO. Mr. NliiiJtuan, who that wifiiittr ha«l been a j> amiitSidate fur the Sppi'Aterahip, when, frftwr a long contest^,, ITVanington, of Jersey, was - elcMeiJ,, had been 1 iiuitte severe in his attaju&w ia the House on the political courw President Bn- (tlkanan and hisadminutliitiion, and JVITH. ^Kie-nuan says she fQU;;»»ili (for she was m«w to WashingtQ.au Ufe- then) it 'Tere mot quite right to ptigtaifce of the Presi dent's hospitality imiliw the cir.trnm- Miiances. Evide-ntJ^rtlie- President,j saw that she \*as embarrassed, for he si^pwed her many kindly iiAtemtians during the dinner, nod afterwtuidi^ when the guests were mingling togytil^r in the djMwing- roorn a?al sippin^^tlhair coffee,, he ex pressed; the hope tliitfe she and tier hus band THWnid conic -Wi awe him e and added c we nt irer allow, poCKics inter amrse innany -way. Alt^>ugh Mr.. Clay and I mem- bitterly apposed t<oi eacl i other politically, < *13- privata frie *lslii]) co^Auuiied unbroj(eni. I lei^; hin^my only -white waistco^ .to wear *>• Bo^iaco's we 4Qiim and woqp %black oecti m;jBelf." lj!i», proof <£f £riendsli%y. th#se who tot)w Mr. Bu«Ut«i(uui and fti^> pjmctilioufMobuerrance <Hi afl social re-- c|rirementaiasi to dress «is well as otfier matters, vas one of the greatest.he muld havn-ui$ed in suptfoott of his -narn- ;4km.--PktituMphia lMna&. rnn foiffs. A OKATK singer--the tea kettle--i sical Monthly. A BTRONO combinatiaa--Liml cheese.--^oaton Post _ A CLOSE student--the tailor's appre tioer.--Boston Bulletin. \ A ORBAT many wives have husbands^ whose wives can hardly be said to have husbands.--Merchant Traveler. "WHY Did She Wed Him?" is the ti tle of a recent novel. The finis will probably show he had "boodle.3f<rp- erick. WHEN a woman is worth her weight tn gold isn't worth the powder to blow her --Maverick. THERE wai oftc« A noted dataetive,' Whose opinion was far from defective. When be looked in the gtaM, He remarked: "You're an ih.' Which showed that his zniad was reflMtiva. --Ooodall'B Bun. A CURIOUS religions sect in Russia hold to the belief that extreme fasting* •--which they practice at frequent inter vals--will bring them into eiose com munion with heavenly beings; No won der the average country editor- wouldn't- trade boots with a king.--Chicago. Ledger. A WRITER in the Popular Science Monthly says the nerves which convey pain are rather slow in their power to convey, information, but anybody who ever stepped on a cat's tail with abrupt suddenness will be lilcely to entertain stalwart views in the opposite direction.. --Chicago Ledger. A BUWALO native who had been.1 lunching on raw- onions and sweitzer kawe, came running up stairs to our of fice- yesterday. He was puffing and' blowing when he came in, and gasped'- out--"By George! I'm nearly blowedT Wlify---I can't hardly catch my breath !,f' "Great Heavens!" exclaimed Hammer" sing; looking up, "If'I were you, T- would merer want to catch it again!" "WEAT'S that?" asked the city editor* of avreporter, reading a piece of manu script. "Poetry," responded the re porter: "Why that ain't poetry; its straight pmae," contended the boss, making a*clever inspection. "Get out! You don't know anything about It. It's a letter-front my best girl." The city editor* whistled soft and low and re turned! tb> Bis> desk.--Merchant Trav eler: As^aiproof'fflf Henry Clay's remarka ble memory iir is related that he recog nized a.man' from whom he had bor rowed :$30in' at poker game twenty years before, and wliom he had not seen in the intervall. This was indeed very re- markablfe.. Hit at Large majority of cases the man iwlicnborrows $30 fails to recog nize the debtor only a week l$ter. It is the latternvlio does the recognizing. --NoiTistmrtv MsxnUL THE population) of London, England, is 4,764,312. These figures show that the town'i;akesdts< plaice among the cities of importance, and that the postmaster no longer ireceivewMs salary in postage Btamps. The-editorf!of an Arkansaw pa per who weniwerto' write up the town and canvass tlie-place for subscriptions and advertisements!, says that the people lack enterprise and that they do not care to have their town known to the traveling public.-^--Jb'kvemtawir Traveler. A PHYSioLQidiSPIV asserts* that the nose is the basis of i mitnvayaibols. If hell correct his spelling' we'll agree with him. There are noses on tiais continent that are as baae • m»t any cymbals that ever jangled tlie dbme of heaven. Take a professional railteay hog, for instance, and wait till he gets Mk double-bar reled trombone primed with a sneeze-- if, when die touches* that ©ff, you don't feel a good deal :worse thazs if a dozen cymbalrihad strucA for higher wages, then we miss|oujn\»njectufflei.--Yonkers Gazettes- THE ITYTASHNONABEE ONE. A f&RhinnaUle woman , IN a faslii-OWBLE PEW^ A farthi/inable bonnet Of a ftoh.-.onable hue-;. A.fnsliionabU' mantle AND'TI rusliionahle FRMRK . • A failitroo .ABLE CHRISTIAN ID B. fa«lL#)nablo TCWUI; A fcafc,inMi»ble J>rayar-book And aij.nliionablo'oJioir; A fnsliio*J»ble chapel \MTH A fachionaule spire; A fifcshionable PR- onb«r, Witl: M fashionable speech, Ajfruibitarable serinoai Madn of ninhionubia-reach. A.¥A^LFRICBABLE welanm At !!/iHrtbionablo dtmr; A.1fa.shi(urablo P -NNY Toitho ifieliionuble pwor; A.Wsi»i>i(5Hibte Heawett Aid lUilaaliionnblf Hill; A fashtionable FUr tlSKS fushionable Bwlla. AVffc"H«<)n:iblo kneeling. AHD U -F fshionftble-nod; A FUN%ionable everything. If it N?) FASHIONABLE GOD! --MetxtoOntiTrai l itr. AvDiscssiininatiiig Bull. "Silaws&me? fine animals at the ftfbx stock' slibw, '" «id the passenger from thtv West, "audi wane of 'em looked aaii they luauw tfr<etty ni^ as much aa a. man ,. my farnuout in Iowy Fve got t.liij -knuwdagest tiftl bull that ever walked 'oniftmr logs. He's as ugly as sin, t0a.i. J1 ltnow of; two hunters he's sentlo »tlis Hospital, an! I guess half a.; dozemltoutfv agents and lightning-rod; t§i»owed up in the air and wa lked He's sure death to book ug ^«d! Bghtninft^nod men. Blit just; th« wceki afore I lefli home I wa$out iifcj the coiTn-fielil one day huskin' when I s ABMV.mutii «omiu' auross the pa^ure. I. jftstioned. to him tcs look out for the bull, . lie dii£«'t see me, and keyt cominV right I expected to see himi liiyin' up. iim the air in about tijree jerks* 'You&nmw'thatinWasMngton aofiailkntfo's tail, l«fc what d'ye suppose- allov, poOdtcs to a$*6tifc social j jt'hat q1U bull did? Welly I hopa» jthi^taiain will i^n off tho track andl iHcatrtoe- me alo^ througlx that 'cum> ef he didn't go up to that mMK locjt Mm over and do notlnti'. No, sito-, lift* acever made, a move at him, but acted liia? an old cow, chewing- his cucfiaa ly an<i contentedly as could! be. didn't no dirt^ nor shake las k<>ad, nor lift hi^ tMl,.sDr nothinT. I nms. never so surprised i* all mwtam jtavs." ' "But wh ifc iifade him^act so peaM^ulhRr all of a su«iden ?" " "That's, a queer pari of it. That man coaiin' aexoss the pastjare had owed me $9 for about three years, aA' he was comin' to p<-y me, aad had the money in his hand. I tell; ye it takes a smart bull to discriminate botwoen a light- uing-iod agent and a man comin' to pay his honest debts, but that's put the kind of % critter I've got on my farm out il\ Io«y."--Chicago Herald. ••w to LlwVdL To liaftirell, economy is nwpwmy. No malter if persons agre rich or have large ifcaeoipes, they,- should be c^Oia-out- ical; ibr to waste w wicked. Many people would iH»nomical S they knew bow, but the practice of eeonomy is ao art. Majs^v people use «>xponsive articles of food ami dress wheft cheaper onas would lw> hi evpry way better and more serviceable. Especially in regu lating table expenses is their great want of economy. A little useful in formation concerning the qualities of food, the amount of nutritive matter they contain, the wants of the human system, and the host way of cooking, would often save one-third, and, in many instances, half the expenae. A wise economy in table expenses is favor able to health, and thus prevents doctors' bills and conduce* to strength 4Uid happiness. No Danger Tkea. Jones.--"What is the matter with your arm, Smith ?" Smith--"I have just been vaccin ated." Jones--" Vaccinated ? Why I thought you were utterly oppjosed to vaocination. Indeed, I beleive I have heard you ex press yourself to that effect." Smith--"Yes, but that was when there wasn't any small pox in the coun try There was no danger then."--• lioston Courier,