The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

>>i ' If f ̂ ̂ /*• ^'**& r* *r <1 j' ' t* *V£ % t ^ ^ ^ !i ' "; j v, - • * * -.^le^-...-';^ J-,..". k :: V? ' '"• »rf". " 'T-V%*; 'W*7 p^.-vvv ^ • 1 '. . * * ' ** 'I1 £• 4, , ,,..•. 4;* , v-\/' r' Pledsed butto Truth, to Liberty an«VMw{ No Favors Win us and no Pear Shall Awe." VOL. 12. M'HENRY, ILLINOIS, WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 3, 1886. NO. 16.. jMjeiry J PBBUSHBD EVBRT VKDIB8D4T BT -rJ. v;an 8|lyke,- EDITOR AJTD PROPRIETOR. in Bishop's Block, ""Opposite Pikbt * Ovu'i TERMS Or SUBSOBIPTIOH. Jim Tear (In Artranee) .........S1.S0 tf Wot Paid within Three Months...... .. S.00 Subscription- received for three or aiz •souths in the same proportion. I Kates of Advertising* We announce liberal rates for advertising in the Pl/unoraI/BB, and endeavor to etate them so plainly that thev will be readily an. lerstood. They are as follows: 1 Inch one year 3 Inches one year S Inches one year . M Column one year H Column one year- Column one year SO0 low £8 •80 00 10000 BUSINESS CARDS. II P. ELLSWORTH, ATTORNEY at Law, and Solicitor In Chan eery, Nunda, III. ASA W. SMITH, Attorney at law and solicitor] it Chancery.--Woodstock, I1L 8. F. BENNETT, M. D. OSICIAN AND SUUUEON. AlsoUnltec' *tes Examining Surgeon. Richmond a. „ MART O. BARBIAN. ' HAIR nYORKER. All kinds of Hair work (lone in tirut class style an ft at reasonable prices. Rooms at residence, north east corner of Public Square, McHenry, HI. DR. O. K. WILLIAMS. rVENTIST. - Residence Dundee. T/tll be at Mcllenry.ftt PMMihllouse. the 10th lltb OKt:n inH oft>k a/ 86th and 26th of When datei make my vi the first " will s One inch means the measurement of ach down the column, single column w Yearly advertisers, at the above the privilege of changing as o:~ •hoose, without extra charge. Regular advertisers (meanti Standing cards) will beenf" •f local notices at the rate each week. All others eents per Hne the fl-st week. 1 line for each subsequent week Transient advertisements at the rate of 10 cents Py line, (nonpareil type, same as this is set lqjylhe first issue, and ueat Issues. Thn.s, w'illlSat SIM for one (cents per line *n inch advertisemen week, $1.50 for twq^weeke, 12.00 for three «e<.ki, and so on, y I he PlaiwdrajAr will be liberal In giving •d.torlnl notic^®/ but, as a business rnle, it will require X auimble fee from everybody peeking the^Ase of its columns for pecuniary £ay or Sunday I g Monday,and rs on Friday, 1 ar Clain Apcy . H. COWLIN, oodstook, Illinois. charged s/ BUSINESS CARDS. ¥ ft r.>-- a. T. BROWN. M. D. „.AN AND SUROE Residence, McHenry, III. pHYSlOIAN AND SURGEON. Olw at a H. FEGERS, M, D- DHYSIOIAN AND SURGEON. McHenry, I 1118.; Ofllce at Residence. O. J. HOWARD, M. D. ° |>RYS1CIAN AND SURGEON, McHenry, I 111. Office at Residence, one door West ef M. E. Church. BARBIAN BROS. CIGAR Manufacturers, McHenry, 111. Or-ders solicited. Shop, la Old McHenry, in Keiter Block, third door west of Riverside House. Livery Stable. HE. WIGHTMAN, Proprietor. First class rigs, with or without drivers furnished at reasonable rates. Teaming of all kinds done on short notice. 'ROBT SCHIES8LE Having purchased the old stand of Joseph Wiedemann, NEAR THE DEPOT, M0HENBY1 ILLINOIS, Keeps open for the accommodation {of the public a First-Class Saloon and Restaurant, Prosecutes all cla<sss and kinds of claims against the United States tor ex-Soldiers, their Widows, Dependent Relatives or Heirs A specialty is made In prosecuting old and rejected claims All communications promptly answered if Postage Stamps are enclosed for reply. WM, H. CO WL IX, Office at Residence, Madison St., Woodstoec, Illinois. Attention Horsemen! I would call the attention of the public to nrp Stable of Stock Horses, four in number: two Morgans, one 3-4Percheron, and one Imported Horse. They are all good representatives of their breed. Also a few Merino Sheep lor sale. The public are cordially invited to call and examine stock, get prices, etc. No business done on Sunday. N, S. Colby. 10-7-tf MCHKNRY, ILL SOLDI I SsMs sm mm, M (km whs write to SUena A Co., Portland, Mai*e,will recti*• ft*», fall information .boat work which thuf can do, tad 1W..I home,that will pay thai from tS 10 $23 per day. Some ha*. JtmlSilhadar. Eitherwi, young or old. Capital MS nqalrtd. Toaareatarted free. ThoM who dirt italics isfsaaglttUsfoitaaM. Alllsasw. G. ANDREWS. GENERAL Where he will r> all times keep theibest brands of Wit.es, Liquors and Olgiirs to be found in tne market. Also Agent For FBANZ PALE'S Beer in Large or Small Kegs er Bottles al­ ways on hand, cheaper than any other, quail, ty considered. Orders by mall promptly attended to, GOOD STABLING FOB HOR8X& MTCall and »ee a*. Robert 8ohlettle< McHenry. tlL. May 15th, 1885. ENGLEN'S SALOON and BESTAURAKT Buck's Old Stand, IMoHINRY, ILLINOIS. Fiae Kentucky Liquors, French Bitters, McHenry Lager Beer, Valka' lfilwaokM Bset, -AND- J. Schlitz Milwaukee Bottle Beer. Bytlie Bottle or Case. We buy none but the boat and sell at Reasonable Prices. Gill and see me and I will use you well. jlntony engeln. ICcflenry, Hi., 1886. Agents Wanted! FOB THB OftCAT MW BOOK. *Th« W rld'» *nd»r« By J. W. Bnel. The most successsnl subscription book ever published. Over half a million cojriex were told (Kt pott eight month*, and it is selling three times as fast now is ever before. Regular canvassers clear from f!5 to fSS, HO and |M per da . Nothing like it was ever known in the history of book publishing. Pny.ft tent free on application. No experience needed to Insure success. We help persons without means to do a lar<e business; no capital need­ ed. Write for 'particulars. Satarie* guaran­ teed to per mm* who 4a not wish to oanvam on com- dMim, We mean business, and want live agents In every township. It will cosl you nothing to write for terms and full deeerip tlons or our plans of doing business. We also mtoe awa* ehmdard book* to peraoos who send name* of book agents, Write for our list »f free standaru hooka _ „ HllTOUCAI. POBUWIW OO. m * 411 *. ThMStrMlk St. LoaiMC*. , ? V ' I SPRING GROVE ILL. Sales ot Stock, Farming Tools and Goods of all kinds attended to on the most * mSOVABU THUS, and Satisfaction Guaranteed. on or Address C. C. Andrews, Spring Grove, 111. •Wing Irove, Sept. SOth, lttss, U-ll-Sm PUMP REPAIRING, CEMENTING, ETC. The undersigned Is prepared to do all jobs in the line of Digging Wells, Repairing Pumps, Cementing Wells, or will put in XTew Pumps On short notice and warrant satisfaction. In •hort will do all work in this line. Can famish you a new Pump, either wood Or iron, warranted, as cheap as any other man. Good references furnished if desired. If you want a Well Dug, a Pump llepalred or a luew Pump, give me a call. JVOrders by mail promptly attended to. Poet Ofllce, Jonnsburgh, 111. L. BANTE8. Johnsourgh, III., May 25th, 1M. fOB BABQAISS 01 Fftr Coal and Wood CALL ON- E. M. HOWE, Opposite Bishop** fho has a oomplete line of the best stoves in the market, as well as a large stock of Hardware. Magic's Tools, riN, COPPER^ SHEET IRON And, In^fact, everything It the hardware 4love and tin line. MS WILL NOT BS UNDWR90LD* fkll at his store before buying elsewhere fobbing and repairing promptly attenried to CTRemember, extra good .Jug*--- ways bo obtained at Howe % lldbKi.ON.liWk ALBERT E. BOURNE. attorney, solicitor akd cWterx A SKLOR. WOOD3TQCK. ILL. Bueibess attended to promptly, with care, skill and integrity. E. R. BENNETT, M. Late House.Surgeon Oook County Hospital, RICHMON D, ILLINOIS, Special attention given to dilHr.ult Surgical •ases. DEUTSCH GE8PROCHEN. Office at Residence of Dr. S. F. Bennett. SI for 13 Weeks. The POLICE GAZETTE will be mailed, securely wrapped, to any address In the United Sta es for three months on receipt of # ONE DOLLAR. Liberal discount allowed to postmasters, agents and clubs. Sample copies mailed tree Address all orders to RICHARD K. FOX,' \* Fkankli* Sqtjarr, New York. A. M. CHURCH, Watchmaker and Jeweler NO.SSPIPTH AVE., (Brlggs House), Chi­cago. 111. Special attention given to re* pairing Fine watches and Chronometers. 9VA Full Assortment of Goods in his line AT THE OLD STA1HQ, JACOB BONSLETT, £ALOON AND RESTAURANT, at the Old j stand, opposite Bishop's mill, McHenry. 111. The choicest Wines, Liquors and Cigars to he found in the county. Warm or cold meals on short notice on application. PHIL BEST'S MILWAUKEE BEER by the Bottle or Ca6e, always on hand. GOOD STABLING FOR HORSES. JOHN J. WINKLES. CARPENTER AND JOINER, > Is prepared to do all work in his line on short notice and guar- entee sati faction. Will work by the job or day as desired, and do as good work as any man in the business. Orders left at his residence, Southeast corner opposite the Public School House, will receive prompt attention. Best of References giveto if de­ sired, JOHN J. WINKLES. MeHKNRY, ILL., Marvh SO/A, 1886. -AND- JOS. PEKOVSKY. Having opened a Restaurant and Lunch Koom. in his block, two doors South of the Post Office, is now prepared to serve a goou Lunch, with Hot Coffee or Tea »t ail hours ot the day or evening, and on short notice. FRESH OYSTERS, B han Bv the Can or Dish, always on a. Give Us a Call. J. PEKOVSKY. McHenry, Oct. 13. 1886. J. P. SMITH, HeHenry. • HHnnia. As Fin* a Stock «f Watches, Clocks and Jewelry lean be found In the Donntv, which I offer at prices that can not bis beat. A Fine Stock ol CHOICE CIGARS FANCY TOBACCO, STATIONERY, BOX PAPER iical Inslroieils, Instruction Boob, itc. Call and examine goods and learn prices. J. P. SMITH. MoH-arr. in.. Hint Ut. MB. Send 10 cents postage and we will mall you free a royal, valuable, sample box ol goo'ls that will put you In the way of making more money at once, than anything else In Amen®f- !"?* ?,f*i SfXuhetimi' htV?l3 not" required We f'^fisaasa^f %ss»sxr A STANDARD STALLION QBOMI O. Record 2:30. No* 5730 "George O." Is a Golden Chesnut with star white spots on left shoulder, also little black spots on lK»ly, denoting a back strain of Arabian Blood. Foaled June ftth 1880. Peuiohee:--"George O" was sired by Lakeland Abilaliah (SSI) own brother lo liar old, the sire of Maud S, (Queen of the turf) 4:08?i; Noontide,2:20X; Mattie Graham, 2:2ljtf Mrdunly's llamlile>onian, 2r26X; DecNna, Hermes 2:27#; Good Morning, Temple2:3u; an<! others; Libelant! Aixiallaii by Rysilykes Hamble toman (with 37 in ihe t:30listor better) he by AbdalUii, by Mambrino, ;by Imp. Messenger; Dam the Chita. Kent Miire, by Imp. Betltound- kr. etc. Lakeland Abriallah's Dam was Enchantress, by AtxlalSah, b» Mambrino, etc, as above, "Gi»oige o s" Dam was the fast Pacing Mare "»annie B" (who paced the ChicaKO Track at Seventeen years of age in 2;27, wjth out any nre|»ar itlon). aired by Autocrat by Geo, M Patchen, (recor.1 2:23X;, by Cassius M. Clay, by Andrew Jackscn, by Bashaw, etc. Dans of Fannie B. by Young Rowlin, by Sen. Uifford, her Data i y a son of Imported Messenger "George O." is a very premising youn^ horse ami the record he has attained Is no measure of his Speed as he has trotted pri­ vate trials very much below that, and can <lo the »nme in a nice at an7 opportunity His colts are very fast considering he has nettr bred a Standard Bred Mare yet, and hie Colls are bringing from |r*IO up, at two vears old. He can't help but be a fast one. as he combines the bloods Of old R.vsdvke Ham bletonian, the f Hinder Of our Trotting Family of to-day, Mambrino, Messenger. Belltounder Geo. M. Patched, the Ctaye, Bashaws, etc. Terms, $25 Cash. AT TIME OF SERVICE. Mares uot proving in Foal are entitled loft return season Free, Accident* and Escapes at owners risk. Marcs cared for, Including pasture, trying, etc., at #2 oo per month, in Summer. For further particular* address, Iteo. Wi Owen, McHenry 0» McHBNRT, ILL. BEST ON EARTH. Y A M D LUNCH Utiles* Block, McHenry, 't­ is the only place in the county where you can get Made Bread, Fresh from the oven every day. Buns, Rolls, Fried Cakes, Do jou entertain company? Call on him for your fine Cakes, cheaper than you can make them yourself and save the trouole. NO VISITOR Should leave town without a cup ot his delicious Coffee, or a plate of Oysters. It will do you goo-l and make }ou good natured when you get home. HOME UADE CANST, ABSOLUTELY PURE. • full line of our Bakery Supplies can be fornd at the Restaurant of J. Pekovsky, two doors south of the Post Office. Locke's Home Bakery MeHENRT, ILL. POULTRY CEO. W. PRATT, WAUCONDA, ILL. Has for sale old and young stock, of the following breeds, ot thorough bred Poultry, Which I will aell tor oce half the usual price Black B. R. Games, Blue Games, Black Tarter Game*, Black Cochins, Langshans, Wy- andctts, Q-old Lace Sebright Bantams, Light Brahams, R. C. B. Leghorns, 1 Wild Turkey Gobbler, 5C Pekin Ducks, GEO. W. PRATT, Waucoitda. $100 A WEEK. Ladles or Gentlemen desiring pleasant, profitable employment write at once. We want you to handle an article of domestic use that recommends itself to everyone at sight. Staple as Flour Sells liae hot cakes. Pr»>flTs 300 per cent Families wishing to praetiee economy should for their own bene lit wi ite lor particulars. Used every day the year round in everv household. Price within reach of all Circulars free. Agents receive •ample Free Address Domestic Man­ ufacturing Co., Marion, Ohio, A irpntc ) For tha Cran<l New Book fantjfl (Heroes *of the Plains. Bf J- W BUEL. This splendid new book Is a cumpiofce his. torv of the lives and wonderful adventnres of Wild Bill. Buffalo Bill, Capt, Jack, Texas Jack, California Joe, Kit Carson, -'White Beaver," Gen Custer and other great Wesi- era Heroes, Srout* and Indian fighters, Ic is endorsed by letters from Gens. Sheridan Hanrock, Merritt, and other distinguished per suns. Copies of the letters will be sent free on puplication Acents who are now uushintr the canvass are meeting w ith grand success The book is splendidly illustrated with over 150 line engravings, including IB liiSl-o ge colored plates, is low in price, and popular with the people. It is the greatest took of Western adventure ever issued, and its splendid endorsements secure the best class of trade. A grand opportunity is offered to earnest workers- No money required, till the book* are toM. Write for our extra terms and special plans, Address, I DAN. LUiAHAN *00, PUBL18UEHB. HkSt»*Washto«toaAT*, ax. Louis, Mo Soldiers' Department, OOHTBTBOTBD BT WM. H. OOWLIS. County CU A. R. Directory. MOtntOMD POST HO MS. Si?* second Friday evening of MOD montii. Dr. s, r, Bkitnbtt, Com. WOODSTOCK POST. HO 108. ' Meets first and third Monday eTonlncs of each month. Gbobqb Bckibt, Oom. HtTHDA POST. , Meets the second and fourth Wednesday eveninffs of each month. Wi. Bonn, Oom. HARVARD POST, WO MS. Meets the seoond ana toartn Monday OTea ingsot each month. DB. H. T. WooDiitrrv. Com. Mabbhoo Post, NA 160, Meets eve<7 Second and Fourth Friday evenings of eaeh month. A. J. Botihotoh, Oom. Ther* are now nearly enough named on the muster roll to secure a charter for a Prisoner! of War Association for McHenry county. Ex-prisoners, com­ rades, hand us your names, and we will advise you what course to take to be­ come a member. The following U an extract from the annual report of the Commissioner of Pensions aud will serve to post up old soldiers and their friends. The report of Pension Oommlssloror Black for the year ended June 30 shows that there were then 866,783 pensioners oo the roils, composed ol 285,854 army Invalids; 80,16*2 arm? widows, minor children and dependent relatives; 3952 navy Invalids; 1.878. navy widows, mln?r children, etc ;lj539 survivors of ihe war of 1312 showing a logs of 1.406 of this class. There weiv 13.396 widows of soldiers of the war ol 1812, showing a lost during the year !• this clans of 3,815. The annual average value of each pension was 9122 63, a gain of $11 88 orer the average value of the preceding year. The aggregate annual value whs 144,708 027,*5 bning an increase in annual value of *6,617,- 041.51. The amount paid for pension* was 963,797,831,31, the difference In the amount paid and the annual value rep resentii g the accured and arrearage pensions paid during the year. Since 1861. 591.1U2 invalid claims have been filed. 348 799 claims ol wi Jows and dependents, 78 834. for pension on accouu' of service. During the same period there have beei. allowed ot the first class 332 141 claims and of the second class 229 435. and o* all other classes 60.178, making a total of claims allowed since 1861, 621,754. It will thus be seen that nearly one- halt of all the pensioners whose natne* have been placed upon the rolls have died or their pensions have ceased b\ reasou of arrival at age, remarriage etc. An attached table shows that In the United States tne re are 2.647, cnuntie*. and that pensions are being paid in all but 118 of them. Of these 118 non- paying counties 40 are in Texts, 20 in Georgi t, 9 In the Indian Territory. 7 •-ach in Utah and Dakota, 6 each li> Louisiana and Mississippi, 21 In Flori­ da, 3 In Arkansas, 2 each lu Alabama. Minnesota. Montana, Nevada an<' North Carolina, and one in each in California. Colorado, Idaho, Tennessee Virginia and Wisconsin, There ar l,601 pensioners In thirty-five ferelgi conn tries. Who Fays Iks VoaaMMT, Any gentleman who feels that he I* being burdened to pay pensions to ex- soldlers can readily figure out just bow much his share of the burden is. The expenditures of the United States for the fiscal year of 1885 were: 3ivll and miscellaneous $H7,*94,25* War 42,870,57c Navy ..J.'.... 16,021,W< Indiana 0,552.ISM Pensions 56 Interest 51,389,236 Total |9S0,ra,93ti Assuming that the Government pay­ out all the money that It receives for tax--which Is not true at prevent--It would appear that one-third of It I* needed for the civil service and miscellaneous needs, about one quarter for the War and Navy Dspsrtm >nt» and the Indians, and less than one- quarter each for pensions and Interest on the publlo debt. For convenience we wpi say that one-quarter of the moneyNf&ised is paid out for pensions With these facts before him let our penslon-hatlag friend proceed to figure out how much he contributes to the support of the disabled soldiers and thflr families. The first item he encounters Is beer. If be drl iks a barrel of this he lndi rectly contributes $1 to the Treasury of the United States, of which 38 cents go to pay the salaries of the President Congressmen. Cabinet Officers, Judges, etc.;25 cents to pay the Army and Navy, make harbor improvements and feed the Indians; 90cents to pay the Interest on the publlo debt, and about 22 cents to meet tne disbursments of the Pension Bureau. As 11 will take a good while forevon a constitutionally thirsty man to drink 'up a barrel of beer. It will be apparent that he does not pay his 22 cents very frequently He pays 90 eents into the Treasurf for every gallon of whisky he consum­ es, and the remarks concerning beer apply equally to this portion of per­ sonal expenditure. If he is more luxurious In his tastes and affects champagne, he must pay much more, for the duty on a dozen quarts of champagne is 97, of which 92 33 will flow into the pockets of the President, the Senators, Secretaries, Judges, Repraeentatlves ..nd Depart­ ment clerks: 91,75 trickle through the War and Navy Departments and the Indian Bureau; 91,40 And Its way to the gentlemen who dip off coupons, and ti/tt go toward patting brsad iato the mouths of some soldier*! orphans. Cigar* perhaps, come a little nearer home to the pension grumbler. Every time be smokes 1,000--whloh would give him about three a day for a year- he contributes 93 to tbe Treasury, of which about 91 finds Its way to the White House, or the Capitol, or the Dopartments. or to some one for having a good ttmS as Mlnlster^toja foreign court; 70 cents goes to the sup­ port of the Army and Navy, and to furnish blankets and fresh beef for the Sioux and Pl-Utes; 65 oents to the gentlemanly eoupon-cllppers, and 65 cents to the legless and armless vet­ erans. To bring It down finer, every time he smokes a fragrant full-flavored HMsent cigar, he makes the Treasury three-tenths of a cent richer, ©i which one-tenth of a cent goes to the office­ holders, of which the President Is head and chief, and the other two-tenths are divided up among the 26,000 Regular soldiers, 8 000 sailors, tbe harbors and rivers, tbe bondholders and the vlo- tlms of the war. If his taste runs to tbe cheap and e?ll odored clgaret, his contribution Is tuueh more moderate. He has to •'moke 1,000 of these paper abomlna tlons before the Treasury Is 60 oents the gainer. There are twenty of them In a package, and consequently 50 packages make 1,000. Every time he poisons the air with one he donates one-half mill to the expense of|tbe Government, andof this one-eightieth of a oent Is applied to the relief of the naen who followed the flag through 'he awful carnage of the Wilderness He ha* to rot his lun*e with 80 pack­ ages of the Greaser Invention before he contributes a whole cent to the support of the dependent ones of the man who wat shot through tbe heart «t Shiloh, Suppose that hs Is still more •Hwnominal In his tndulgenoes and smokes a pipe. The duty on smoking tobaoco.is eight oents" a pound. The imount he wonld pay Into the pension fund by a day or a week s steady smoking would be so small that we have not the heart to make the micro "coplc division required to state It.-- National Tribune. A FOR*IPS MHMORY, the Day* of the War ReealleS^^the Bound of m Drwna. Ot the farm of Mr. W, C. Marrow^In the county of WTarwIck, there lives ai •Id * war hor»e" that seems to yet re­ member tbe days when th« shot and «hell flew thick and fast. The hors* was tbe property of Major Marrow, son <»f the above named gentleman, who was an aid on Gen. Let's staff. Tb horse was In a number of battles and as at the surrender of Appomattox Late In tbe year of 1865 he was carried to tbe above farm, he being at that time twelve years of age. There he ias remained to the present time Home few days ago a bof with a drum p ts«ed by the house, and some one ask *d him to beat tiie "long roll." The •id horse was grazing fifty yards away As soon as the boy commenced to roll he drum the old charger raised his tead, and then, with ears and tall ereci and nostrils distended, he cantered proudly up to tbe drummer, signifying ills appreciation by repeated neighing, md remained until tbe boy stopped.-<- EHchmond Dispatch. The Chnnsplon Orsad Army Sletjr Teller "I suppose yon were In tbe war comrade ?n said a prominent speaker as he sat down again at a "Post" ban quet after telling a few dosen of select 'war lncldsnts," with great applause. "Oh yes," remarked his neighbor, who had Industriously been putting *way the shrimp saUd and champagne during the speeob making. MI was a ose nber of the Michigan "Big Foots." 'What regiment was that?' 'Why tbe Fort-fourth Michigan, you know. Tlie men were selected ex cluslvely oo account of their big feet I wear No Ms myself,* •'Do, eh?" •Yes. Ton see the peculiarity of our fellows was that they had suou big feet they oouldn't fall down when they were shot. After an action the officers went round calling the roll. When s mau did not answer they knew he bad been promoted to a happier land than ours • so they just dug a grave right behind him, aod flopped him over and filled him in." And solemnly handing their badges over to the champion incidenter tbe memoers put out the cam[fire and Went home. A Turkish Joke. Sunset Cox was interviowd the other day In Ne« York, and when asked for a Turkish story be said: "I have just secelved a fresh one by cable from the «JoId«n Horn and It goes. A Turk in Constantinople called upon his neighbor and wanted to borrow bis jackass. "1 have sent the ass to Scutari, my trend,1 laconically replied the fortu­ nate owner ol the long eared animal. Even now that ass is climbing ovir ihe hill that brings him In view ef that city. If he were here, of course I would lend him to you/ "About thai time the ass brayed loud and long In bis stall. -The neighbor spoke up. 'Ah, there is your ass braying now; I thought he was nearing Scutari ?" "The owner haughtily replied: 'My friend, which do you believe to lying, the ass or myself f" MThl« Is a prise specimen of the tassor of the unspeakable -. •MKT OLAD WffKN MB DfH>. "It doesn't sound nlee to say so, hot It Is a fact, that ithe Lain More folks were awfully glad when a certain masi d i e d u p I n B u f f a l o t h e o t h e r d a y s a i d a conductor, chattily. "There a «otto a story about that ease,. and I gness j ,• will have to tell It to you. TlUAasifiif name was Talbot. About twelve |Np|* ago Talbot saved strain front into a washout near his fam, course the company felt very i P. P. Wright--Wright was the i Intendent of the Buffalo division--«WRt for him and loaded him with H<»|i for himself and his company. Tattoo* modestly declined a money preeert W 9600, but said be didn't objeet when Wright proposed making out .ifc* M|ft a good pass for the remainder of Us life. While Wright was writing osHt"? the pass Talbott inquired: "Say, Mr. Wright, have yon aay«fe» jeotlon to making that read good Mr me and a friend? I may want toftafee a friend up to Cleveland eonso time tp \ «ee an uncle of mine.' Wright was so full of gratitude that he couldn't object to anything, and the man got his pass, good for himself *•< ; friend, and It was afterwards sent os * headquarters and countersigned by the president and general passenger agent. Well, now, what do you think? I*0r \ more than 10 years thst man Talbot' has been riding constantly between Buffalo and Chicago, Buffalo and Cleve­ land, or Buffalo and Toledo. He was\ never alone. He always had afrlei^ w with him. The friend was usaaUy* «>me commercial traveler. In shoffc, Talbot has made railroad riding few ; regular business. He made amoRt* •nents with various wholesale sad job­ bing houses to carry their men* and . booked bis engagement month* ahead sometimes. When these failed Ike picked up stray passengers here and , • here. After paying bts sleeping ear l;! ind other expenses he bad 98 and 9* S0 lay left as clear profit, and out of thla profit he managed to amass a snug tit­ le fortune. He tried to use bis past •»n the 11 nlted express, but the ropytr ny would't have It. In fact, thiff wanted to refuse to carry him al|i» gether, but their lawyer i hat the suit for damages would be •x pensive. Talbot is hough, greatly to the regt tl traveling men.--Chin Aaeodoto of Andrew In 1934, after James Buchatti urn as minister to Russia, and ia||pP> liately following nis election to jpio U. S. Senate, Buchanan ctiled upon Old Hiokbry with a fair English lady, whom he desired to present to tb* nead of the American nation. Leaving ner lo the reception room, he sseendsd 0 the President's private quarters and found General Jackson uoehaved, unkempt, In bis dressing gown, wtth ills slippered feet oo the fender before a blszing wood fire, smoking a corn­ cob pipe. He stated his object* whott • he General said be would be very glad to meet tbe h andsome acquaint­ ance of the new baehelor Senator. " Mr. Buchanan was always careful of his personal appearance, and having Just returned from a visit t» the fashionable continental circles, after two years Intercourse with the etiquette of one of tbe stateliest conrts in Europe, he was \ somewhat shocked at tbe Idea of the President meeting the lady in such a guise, and ventured to ask If he did not lotend to «•• Plso's Cure for Consumption for a had cough or sny disease of the thro#t or lungs. Sold by druggists. Pries We; change bis attire, whereupon the old warrior arose, with his long pipe In his hand, and dell *ierately knocking rhe ssbes out of the bowl, said to MS friend: "Buchanan, 1 wart to give yon* little piece of advloe, which 1 hopo you will remember. I knew a man onoe who made bis fortune by attend­ ing to bis own business, isll the ladf 1 will see her presently.* I n s s h o r t t i m e P r e s i d e n t J a c k s o a entered tbe reception room dressed la m full suit cf black, clsasiy shaved, ss4 . advancing to the beautiful Britishef saluted her with almost kingly grace* As she left the White House she ex-* claimed to her escort, "Your President is tbe royal model of a gentleman.* v.;* • One of Hermann's Tricks. ' - One story be relates Is worth repeat* . ing. He was Summerinc at a forelgj* ' ^ watering place, and was cooetefttlgr ^ beseiged by the Countess Somebofr • to perform some of his tricks. Ho plead that Le was on his vaoatlon, and . that he desired to rest. Finally aha /. cornered bi m in a pavilion overlooking tbe sea. and In the preseaoe of a largo company entreated bin to show the what he oould do. "You have beautiful necklace," he eald at 'please let me have iC The Coonl complied, and Herrmann immedl threw the costly chain ofgei the ooeaa, "How dare you do demanded the Countes?, Without replying, Herrmann forward and brought forth a boquet from the Inside of the man's oeat. Handing it to the he bade her open it. "She dtft says Herrmann, laughingly teltt story, "and right In the found her necklaoe. Mow t real aloe, wasn't HP*-- s.',u: ' ' -feti'H.'V"' ililfc