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tim. All through my lif beset with care and w< mum OF A FAT MAW. l|fclM>,Wn(ch*4 by Too Much Avefr- tlupois--All tlw VMtm'i FHndiCw aim . ' "»• a Target for Witticisms. (Albany Argus.] , I am a fat man--abnormally fat. My height is nearly 300 pounds avoirdu­ pois. Any one who has ever been in tine fat-man business can appreciate my woes and troubles, for they are as many a* the hairs on a cow's tail. Trouble seems to have been born the day I was, and to have selected me for its one vic- life I have been worry, from the lime I was a small boy until now. Thank God, I am getting old. Mid, though I grow fatter each year that I advance to the jnmping-off place, I am a)owly and surely coming to the time . vhen people will ask, "What has be­ come of old lardjpail?" As early W * can remember I was {at. When I was a school boy my com- jmnions used to call me "fatty," and •wonder that my flesh did not burst my clothes. Now that I am older it is just the same. People wonder what I eat. The fact is my appetite is very poor; but the less I eat the more I grow. I am a living paradox. Once I tried "anti-fat," but it only made me sweat liarder, and my ribs grew more and more indistinct. My trouble com­ mences the moment I awake in the morning. I usually find myself on my back, so all I do is to just start myself tolling and roll out of bed. I had an Inclined plane set up in front of the bed, so that I do not land on the floor Abruptly, but roll down slowly and easily. But the greatest difficulty is in getting to my feet. Sometimes this little feat occupies several minutes. Now my trouble commences in earnest. I have to dress myself, and anyone who ebuld stand by and see the operation fronid be immensely amused. I don't muse much though; it's all labor for me. I get my clothes on with fair suc­ cess and a great consumption of time, ( fgp to the point of putting on my shoes. , Then the fun commences. I haven't »en my feet, face to face, in twenty years; I don't have any idea how they look. But putting on those shoes is the curse of my existence. Sometimes I wear button shoes, and the expedients I adopt to get those infernal buttons into ilieir holes are wonderful. I fasten a button hook to the end of a cane some' times, but that don't result well as a work of art. I tumble and flounce •bout the floor and bed, getting the up per hand of my shoes in a manner that Ifesembles the struggles of a polhvog Ottt of water. At last I get them on and tlie prayer of thanksgiving that goes up to Heaven is recorded among the sa­ cred documents. When I go down stairs my wife usually asks me if I have , been having another wrestle with a ghost. She says I have jarred the plastering down, have frightened the neighbors, made the milkman inquire if her husband had started a carpet- beating establishment on the second floor and raised Cain generally. * I start down town to my business. Hailing a car, I notice it doesn't stop. The next one I catch, and am informed, when I attempt to go through the door mid get stuck, that that is not tlie fat man's line. This makes me mad, and With a rush and a push from the con­ ductor, I am crowded through, but usually the door posts give about six Inches in the operation. Puffing and Suiting my torn clothes together I sit own. "Say, can't you be satisfied with four whole seats?" some one growled. I look around, and sure, enough I am arowding the only four passengers in v£he car. t ' I hear a young lady giggle to her companion: "Guess Barnum's circus is Coming. The «ide show has got here." The sailor sitting next her mumbles to his neighbor: "What fine ballast such bags of fat would make for a sailing vessel." By this time the car has , teached my corner, and I yell to the conductor. He sees me, but only grins. Again I yell that I want to get oft", and he sticks in his head and says:. "We're going right around to the shops, and then I'll have one side of the car taken Off so you can get out." I looked at myself, and, sure enough I had begun to swell. Then when I start to walk over to my oiffice my friends accost me with the salutation, "Well, how are .you to-day ? Seems to me you are looking thinner than usual." If I ever want to commit murder it is then. When the day draws to a close gratefully start home. Remember my difficulty with the horse car in the morning, I conclude to walk home. Greetings of all kinds center upon the fct man as I go along; I won't try to name them. When I reach home, //panting from my work walking up the hill, my wife smiles upon me and sings out, "Ah, here is my little boy!" That makes me tremble with rage. Sarcasm is not my hold, so I hold my tongue. The time to entertain her company has ' now come and that is misery of the deepest kind. They want me to join in games and to make an ass of me gener ally, by trying to flop and tumble •round. I have tumbled to their game though and I hie me away to my bed. Soon I fall asleep and dream of Heaven, where all the angels are men thin as lightning rods and there is no such misery as fat to mar the, joy of the place. ^ A Furious Old Ladjr. ^ ' Evidently there was no encourage * ment for a young newspaper man . to try to rise in his profession in Vicks- . 1. n'A« cntfa fl>- T UOIUIO vac- ««** f OMtjr O buc UUUlS* ville Commercial. Going down to the ball park, a reporter overheard a young man incidentally remark to a friend: "Everybody carried pistols in those <biys, and they had an unpleasant habit pf shooting with them. They even car­ ried their disagreeableness so far as to be verv accurate in the use of them. My father was the thirteenth editor killed on the streets there, and I don't know how many have been shot since then. My father was editor of a paper in Vicksburg, and an earnest and en­ thusiastic Democrat. The editor of a contemporary paper on the other side, politically, was a lady, and she wielded • vigorous and somewhat splenetic pen. Her son was the ostensible proprietor. Their paper had attacked my father vifflouaiy, and he had replied as vigor- ly jis courtesy would permit, for he knew the opponent was a woman. Fail­ ing in argument, Mrs. finally be­ came desperate, and, throwing aside professional courtesy, printed a bitterly personal a: ticle, in which she said my father had never spoken the truth in his life, and didn't know what it. was. Every article that ever appeared in his paper was a wicked falsehood. My father had only one recourse. Hej ©lipped tho article and printed it en­ tire in his own paper, accredited to the other, and with the words 'It needs no oomment' at the bottom. The old lady Was furiously mad, and claimed that •be had been personally and grossly in- JBlted by this treatment. She appealed H hm {1Mb and b* challenged , my father to fight. Bemons trances proved of no avail, and they faced each other at twenty steps, with Mississippi rifles. The young man fell at the first fire, but afterward recovered. My father was afterward shot from behind a door, while walking along the street" American Living. One of the commonest and best effects of foreign travel upon our people is to make them aware of the exceptional blessedness of their own lot as citizens of this happy land and bring them home more contented than when they left. In going across the ocean on a Ham­ burg steamer, in company with many native-born Germans going over to re­ visit the vaterland, it was wonderful to hear them declare, with united voice, that much as they loved the old country, they preferred the new world as a resi­ dence. All were coming back after a few months absence. The profusion of fruits, vegetables, and provisions generally enjoyed with us can never be appreciated fully until after a lengthened sojourn in foreign lands. Only think of the void that would be made in our leaders by the absence of just two of our summer vegetables, viz., corn and tomatoes, and yet this is virtually the case in Europe. Summer vegetables I call them, al­ though by the processes of drying and canning they are now become almost equally plentiful and indispensable in winter. It seemed so strange to be asked by an intelligent lady in London for a description of Indian corn as a vege­ table, and be requested to give some idea of how it tasted. At the same lady's table it was remarked as a fact not to be disputed that "to eat frait in London was like eating gold." Sweet potatoes are also exceedingly rare and high-priced in England, while in Germany they are never seen. In the latter country jpreen peas are brought to the table, indeed, but gen erally spoiled by having carrot chopped up and cooked with them into a mess that is pftwkishly sweet, and frequently mushy. With us it is not unusual, in the country, to see from seven to nine vege­ tables upon the dinner table at once (all raised in one's own garden), which to a European would seem an incon­ ceivable extravagance. The variety of our breads and break­ fast cakes must be equally amazing to foreigners, for cold rolls or brodchen, frequently stale at that, come upon the table from year's end to year's end in solitary state, and no one ever seems to think a change among the things desirable or attainable. Truth to tell, the German brodchen are excellent and wholesome; so exceptionally well baked that a housekeeper brought a Specimen all the way across the ocean to show her cook" how beautifully browned was the crust, and how thor­ oughly done the crumb. And yet she despairs ever seeing the preoise dupli­ cate on our side of the occan. The knowing say this is because of the difference between our stoves and the German brick ovens, the latter being capable of a regular, even heat, the re­ sults of which are unattainable by any other heating apparatus. While all over the German Empire they have the like good bread, yet each city seems to have its special form of roll. In Dresden it is much smaller than in Berlin, and, if possible, better, round, with a division through the middle. The pre-eminence in the manu­ facture of bread seems given, by uni­ versal consent, to Vienna, therefore to that city it must be conceded; but in all of the good restaurants of any large German city their roils of white bread are faultless to the stranger's palate. Going from Berlin to London in two days, the inferior displays upon the bakers' counters there were actually painful, through force of contrast. For the very basis of health and good living seems to rest on good bread, and it was evident that this the poor Londoners did not have. Their loaves looked dark, heavy, and coarse, compared to the fair, dainty brodchen left behind, and the sight produced a real sense of discomfort.--Harper's Bazar. To Workingmen. We Are all workingmen. That is, all who are useful to the world and to man­ kind, including ourselves and families. Wo all desire to better our condition. Permit one who has been a constant lal»orer for nearly half a century to say a few words that come from a heart that is a home for good intentions, if nothing more. If you will unite, not to defy laws and to consolidate against yon all who believe in law and order; if you will unite to vote for men who believe in new laics, and who know what laws can be made that will not be unconsti­ tutional, you can soon benefit the country and yourselves. The moment you unite to advance the interests of one body of men above an­ other--the moment you begin a war upon the laicful rights of any citizen or corporation--that moment you draw upon yourselves the enmity of all who believe in law but who do not deny the right to peaceably assemble and organ­ ize and speak for a redress of grievances or the right to make new laws. The vote of workingmen united to the support of any person or party in sym­ pathy with the great cause of man against monopoly is sufficient to anni­ hilate all bad, unjust laws, or laws that have been outgrown, and to make new laws that are up with the times. Instead of standing to curse, to throw stones, to mutilate cars, wagons, houses and business, why not accept imposed conditions till you can bring organized strength to bear to tho making of new laws, taking care the while that you de­ mand no more than by your words and actions you can prevail upon the body public to give. ( • Beneficial laws are not driven through by force. Iliots and bloody revolutions result in the killing, wounding, and im­ poverishment of more or less of the participators. After them, reason is called in, and good results follow rea­ son and reasonable demands. These strikes that stop travel and business, to the incommoding and ruin­ ation of innocent parties, embitter thousands while only scores are pleased. Arrogant assumption and demands that war against tlie actual rights of others are not the politic weapons that bring success. The right to quit work when the service contract has expired is one that belongs to every • person. The right,to rob a person of wages, or of prosperity, or of the fruits of a long- cared-for business that has grown from care, attention, and honest dealing does not belong to any person, and it is the duty as well as the pleasure of the gen­ eral public to demand the punishment of each and every one who robs another or who injures another. Organize to use the ballot. No man, no monopoly, no usurer, etc., can stand against that God-given weapon. It is noiseless, but most terribly effective.-- Brick Pomeroy's Democrat* THE FOREIGN D1PL0MATES. How the BepmenUtivei of OUmut Nations Lhw In Washington. Tho foreign diplomate at Washing­ ton, says "Carp" in the Cleveland Leader, are better paid than our minis­ ters. The British Minister occupies one of the biggest houses at our national capital, and one which has more rooms, I venture, than the White House. He has, I think, an allowance for entertain­ ing, and he receives a salary of $30,000 a year. The German nation owns a house here, and its minister gets $40,000 a year. The Japanese Minister receives $20,000 yearly, and he is. one of the most valuable men in the diplomatic circle. The wealthiest foreign minister is the representative of China, who al­ ways goes about in Chinese costume, and who has the reputation of being a great statesman at home. This man's name is Chang Yin Huan, and his father was, when he died, one of the richest men in China. Mr. Huan has a half- score of almond eyed celestials to help him, and he pays $11,000 a year for house rent. The Turkish Minister wears English clothes and a red fez cap when he appears on State occa­ sions. He is a dark-haired, dark- skinned man with oriental features. He lives much of the time in New York, and his salary is $40,000 yearly. Baron de Struve, the Russian Minister, is put down as getting $30,000 yearly. He is a very able man, and Senator Blaine spoke of his wife as being the cleverest woman in Washington. One of the brightest of the chiefs of the foreign legations is Col. Emil Frey, who is very popular here. He was a soldier in the Union army during the late war, and returned to his home in Switzerland after it was over and now represents that country here. He wanted to re­ sign not long ago, but his government would not accept his resignation. M. Rouston, the French Minister, gets $50,000 a year. He is now tlie subject of a great scandal in regard to some of his alleged doings while he represented his government at Tunis. Each of the foreign ministers at Washington has a crowd of attaches, secretaries, and clerks around him. These are generally young men, and now and then some of the men come before the police court for drunkenness, as was the case with a young South American last winter, and there are other instances where they should come, but do not. The majority of the attaches are, however, bright, respectable fellows. Most of them are of good families, and many of them are undergoing the education which will make them ministers later on. They do not, as a rule, receive high salaries, and many of them board cheaply. They make close contracts in getting their living, and I know of one young baron who has a sky-parlor and takes his breakfast of rolls and coffee in his room, and saves half of his dinner bills by accepting all social invitations. Dangers From Dust. The personal discomforts and, in some cases, danger which are caused by living in an atmosphere laden with dust are more or less familiar to all our readers, says tlie Sanitary Engineer. In some occupations it is a serious cause ol disease, and special precautions to pro­ tect the workmen from its effects liav*; been of late years more and more in­ sisted on, and are now to be found in use in the best-regulated factories. This is especially the case with regard to those dusts composed of minute angular particles of stone or metal, such as are produced in the operations of grinding and polishing, and which tend to produce fatal disease of the throat and lungs. Another specially danger­ ous class of dusts are those which act not so much mechanically as by their chemical properties--the poisonous" dusts, as they may be called. Such dusts are found in color-grinding estab­ lishments, in white-lead works, in work­ shops for the manufacture of artificial flowers, etc., the dangerous element being in most cases lead or arsenic. With regard to arsenical paper-hang­ ings, whatever may be thought as to the probability of the production ol disease by the slow and continued evo­ lution of arseniureted hydrogen--and it seems to us that more experiment and observation is needed in this direction-- there can be no doubt as to the dangere of the dust derived from the surface oi such papers. Then we have the ordinary street dust, largely composed of finely pulverized horse-dung, which not only annoys us when walking or driving, but which permeates our houses, and there, reinforced by fresh clouds raised by the housemaid's broom, covers furniture, books, and pictures with its gray shroud. There is, nevertheless, something to be said in favor of this plague of dust; we should be badly ofl in some respects without it. All or­ dinary air contains dust, and the par­ ticles of dust in the air form centers of condensation for the watery vapor in the air, thus giving rise to fogs, clouds, and rain. If there were no dust in the air, whenever the air became super­ saturated with moisture the latter would condense and deposit on all solid bodies with which it came in contact* fW : ' V C . ... .... MJLJ . . . v . : Dridging the Chasm. While we were tramping over the battlefield around Marietta. Ga., the young man from Connecticut grew sweet on the pretty daughter of the widow with whom we boarded. It was love at first sight, and they went in heavy. Our guide had been an old reb soldier, and when he saw how things were going winked the. girl to a seat on the washbench behind the house, and said: "Now, Lucy, this 'ere orter stop." "What 'ere?" "In love with that feller." "Hain't I a right?" "No, gal. Me'nyour old father served in the ranks together. We fit agin them Yanks together, and together we cum hum calkerlatin, to hate 'em as long as we lived. 'Twouldn't be right fur you to go back on your dad that wav." "Jim Skuce," she replied, as she stood up to wave her arm, "mebbe ye never heard nutfiin' 'bout bridgin' the bloody chasm and shakin' hands across the last ditch. I know pap was a fighter, but after he'd been home a year or two long came a Yank one day looking for land. He had a bottle o' whisky, and h<? and pap sat down on this very bench and fit them old fights over until both got drunk and fell in a heap. When they woke up they began to shake and bridge, and they kept it lip till the Yank,hurrahed for Gineral Lee, and pap hollered for Gineral Grant. Now, you shut! If you don't want to bridge you can stub around with your nose stuck up and your knees out to the weather, but don't you go interferin' with me I Dad bridged, mam's bridged, and I'm going to cU«>h out of the last ditch and hustle for a Yankee husband!" ' ] ' ' .. > THE COCAIHE HABIT. Yke Wont Slavery Known--Now l(ml» tions of foww. Cincinnati Times-Star. • When cocaine was discovered the medical world oxclahned, "ihank heaven!" But useful as it is, it is also dangerous, especially when its use ia parverted from tha deadening of pain for suign-al operat:oas, to tlie stimulation and dsstruction of the human body. Its first effects are soo hiug and capti­ vating. but the thratldom is thy most horrible slavery known to humanity. J. L. Stephens, M. D., of Lebanon, Ohio, was interviewed by our reporter yesterday at the Grand Hotel, and during the conversation the doctor said: "The cocaine habit is a thou­ sand times worse than the morphino and opium habits, and yott would be astonished," he sa d, "it you 'knew how frightfully tbo hab t is increasing." * What are its effects?* "It is the worst Constitution wrecker ever known. It ruins the liver and kidnevs in half a year, and when this" work is done, Dm strongest constitution soon succumbs." "Do you know of Dr. Underbill's case, have in C ncinnati?" "That leading physician who became a vic­ tim of the cocoaiue habit? Yes. His case was a very sad one, bat the habit be cured. I have rescued many a man from a wors8 condition." "What, wrrse than Dr. Underbill's?" "Indeed, sir, far so. Jnstia M. Hall, A. M., M. D., President of the State Board of Health of Iowa, and a famed practitioner, and Alex­ ander Neil, M. D., Profes-or of Mir^ery in the Columbus Medical College, ani President of the Academy of Medicine, a man widely known, Hev. W. P. Clancy, of Indianapolis, lad , from personal experience in op.uni eatins, eta, can tell you of the kind of suec ss* our form of treatment wain, and so caa H. C. Wilson, for­ merly of Cincinnati, who is now associated with me." "Would you mind letting our readers into the Bccret of your methods?" "Well, young man, you surely hare a good bit of assurance to ask a man to giv<» his busi­ ness away to the public; but 1 won't wholly disappoint you. 1 have treated over pat ents. In common with many em nent physicians, I, for years, made a close study of the effects of ilie habits on the system and tha organs which they most severely attack. Dr. Hall, Dr. Neil, aud Mr. Wilson, whom I have mentioned, and hundreds of otners equally as expert, made many similar experiments on their own behalf. Wo each f uiul, that these drugs worked most destructively in the kid­ neys and liver; in fact, finally destroyed them. It was then apparent that no euro could be effected until those organs could be restored to health. We recent.y exhausted tho entire range of medical science, experi­ menting with all known remedies for these organs, and as the result of these cloBe inves­ tigations we all substantially agreed, though following different lines of inquiry, that the most reliable, scient tic preparation" was War­ ner's safe cure. This was the second point ia the discovery. The third was our own pri­ vate form or treatment, which, of course, we do not divulge to the public. Every case that wo have treated first with Warner's" safe cure, then with our own private treatment, and fol­ lowed no again with Warner's safe cure for a few weens, has been successful These hab­ its can't be cured without using it, because the haUt is nourished and sustained in the liver and kidneys. The habit can be kept up in moderation, however, if free use be also mado, at the same time, of that great rem­ edy." £Yes, it is a world famed and justly celebrated specific! Like many other physicians, I used to deride the claims made for it, but I know now for a fact that it is the world's greatest blessing, having sovereign power over hitherto incurable diseases of tho kidneys and liver, and when I have said that, vouug man, I have said nearly everythng, for most diseases orig­ inate in, or are aggravated by, a depraved con­ dition of the kidiieys." "People do not roalia? this, because, singular as it may seem, tha kidneys may be in a very advanced stage of decomposition, and yet owing to tho fact that there are but few nerves of sen­ sation in them, the subject will not experience much pain therein. Ou this account thousands of people die every year of kidnov disease un­ knowingly. They have so-called disorders of the head, of the heart and lungs aud stomach, and treat them in vain, for the real cause of their misery is deranged kidneys, and if they were restored to health the other disorders would soon disappear." To Krr Ia Bamaa, Botttis oositively inexcusable to administer or take narcotics or potent sedatives to relieve intranquility of tha nerves, tbe easily discover­ able causa of which is simply indigestion. Hostetter's Stomach Bitters is tha remedy indicated when the nervous system is weak, and consequently supsr-senaitlve and untran­ quil. Braced and quieted by this superlative tonic, the system obtains needful repose at night, dyspeptic qualms cease to disturb the stomach, and mental inquietude disappears. The habit of body becomes regular, the liver and kidneys axe healthfully stimulated, and bo lily or mental exertion ceases to be a weari­ some and difficult task. Neuralgia, rheuma­ tism, and malarial disorders and kidney troubles are entirely eradicated by this match­ less invigorant and regulator. '--Texas Explanation Wanted. "Pa, what sort of a house is that?" "That, my son, is the Texas asylum." "Blind people live in theref" "Yes, Johnny." "They can't see, can "No, my boy." "Then what has the hi dows for, if they can't Siftings. The latest invention in hat lining is a map of the citv of London printed on silk, so that any stranger or-gay young fellow may find his way home, or*see at a glance if cabby is taking him the nearest route to his destination. • '• • • Delicate diseasos of either sex, however induce l, speedily and permanently cured. Book of particulars'10 cants in stamps. Address World's Diwp -unary Medical Associa­ tion, €03 Main Str eet, Buffalo, N Y. Apply the slipper to your child and you will have a game of base bawl. For Bronchial, Asthmatic, and Pulmonary Complaints "Z>Y«im'» Bronchial Troches" man­ ifest remarkable curative properties. Hold only iM boxes. Advice to bntih'-rs: If a man re­ fuses to pay for mutton, suet. ^ I thought the doetors gave her up. tshe looks well now." "She is well Alter the doctors nn up her case she tried Dr. Pierce's ' Favorite Prescrip­ tion ' and liegan to get long v better r%ht away. "I heard her say, not long ago, that the hadn't felt so well in twenty years. She does her own work ani says that i:seems worth living, at last * Why,' said she, 'I feel as if I had been raised from the dead, almost.' • Thus do thousands attest tha marvelous efficacy of this Gol-givirig remedy for femalo weakness, prolapsus, ulceration, moruirg sickness, weakness of stomach, tendency to cancerous disease, nervous prostration, general debility Mid kindred affections. Yottng Mother--"Now just look at the darling! Isn't he a little angel?" Crnsty Bachelor Brother--"No, but I wish ha was. The confounded brat kept me awake all night."--Somerville Journal. Dp yon experience a bad taste in the mouth. sallowneBH or yellow color of skm, feel stupid and drowsy, appetite unsteady, frequent head­ ache or d zziness, you are "bilious, end noth­ ing will arouse your liver to action and strengthen up your system like Dr. Pierce's "Golden Medicil Discovery." By druggists. The bootblack and the college professor work for tho same object--that of polish­ ing the understanding. A Case Not Beyond Help. Dr. M. B. Binadale. Kewanee, HI., advises BS' Of a remarkable cure of Consumption. He says: "A neighbor's wife w*s attacked with violent hi tig dis­ ease. and pronounced beyond help from Quick Con­ sumption. As a last resort tlie family w an persuaded to try DK. WM. H '.I.L S BALSAM loll THE LUNGS. To the astonishment of all, by the time she had used one-half dozen bottles she was ebout the house doing her own work. I saw her at her worst, and had no idea f he could recover." A Fearful Leap Into the abyss of pover:y, o ver the precipice of shorts'ghtvdness, is taken by thousauds, who nvgiit become wealthy, it they avai.od them­ selves of th.vr op:».rtuuitioi. Those who write to Halle:t A Co., Portland, Maine, will be informed, free, how they can make from #5 to f&> a d ty an i upwards. Some haro made over $5'.) in a day. You can do tie work aud live at home, wliorew r you are locate L Both axes; aliases. Ail is now. You aro started free. Capita! not needed Now is tha time. Better not delay. Every worker can sceuro a snug little fortune. U N R I V A L E D O R G A N S On the KASY PAYMENT system, from S3.20 per month tip. too styles, to (too. Send for Cat­ alogue with fall particulars, mailed free. UPRIGHT PIANOS. Constructed on the new method of stringing, onsta? liar terms. Send for lie-eriptive Catalogue. MASON & HAMLIN ORGAN AND PIANO CO. . Boston, New York, Chicago. IHVFRTIQFRC or otrwf»,wnowttn toexamin* Mil Vkll 11 this paper, or obtain estimates OA advertising tpaes when in Chicago, will (md it on file at 45 to 49 Randolph St.. • Ann A TWilliC the Advsrtiting Agency of LUIlIf tt I IIUffllltM OFFICEltS' Pay, Bounty, ( etc. Write for circulars and laws. McCOKMICK & SON, Cincinnati, O. PENSIONS • A.W.M Dr. Stephens' experience, that can be con- many thousands whom he has firmed by treated, adds only m ire emp experience of many hundreds of thousands all over the world, that the remedy he refers to is without atiy doubt tho most beneficent dis­ covery ever given to humanity. _ H«w to Succeed in Business. _ Don't worry. Don't overwork. Don't make the field too broad. Be wary of deali g with unsucceaafal men. Make friends, but don't encourage favorites. Keep down expenses, but don't be penurious. Keep a high vitality. Sleep well, eat well, enjoy life. Stick to your chosen pursuit, but not to chosen methods. Don't tell what you are going -to do --till you have done it. Enter your charges when the goods are sold. Don't wait. Make plans for a little way ahead, but don't cast them in iron. Be content with small beginnings-- and be sure to develop them. Don't take fresh risks to retrieve your losses. Cut them oil' short. Be cautious; but when yon make a bargain, make it quietly and boldly. A regular system of sending out bills and statements is more effective than spasmodic dunning. Have a proper (hvision of work, and neither interfere nor permit interfer­ ence with your employes. It is better for .your creditors to post­ pone payments juarely than to pretend to pay by giving a check dated ahead. Look after your "blotters" --and all books of original entry. In litigation they are reliable evidence; copies are not.--The Merchant Am Yon Going to California This WiattrY On the 4th of December the Chicago an3 Northwestern llailway starts a first-cla^s ex­ cursion train from Chicago to the Pacitic Coast Tickets for the roun 1 trip cost only and will permit tha j nrcliaser t ) remain in (. a ifornia tor six mouths a:id then return home by any routo he may desire. Tho <e ex­ cursion trains touch l.oa Anceles an 1 Saa Francisco, and are gotten up with a view to making the trip interesting and comfortable to the travel n« public. For fu l pirtioul irs write to £. 1'. Wilson, General Passenger Agent, Chicago and Northwestani Rxdway, Chicigo, I1L 400,000 Subscribers. If we gave a column to the Youth's Com­ panion announcement, we could scarcely enumerate the attractions it promises for its 8ix:y-flrst volume. Wo aro not su prised that tho Companion has nearly 41HJ,0 i0 subscribers when we see how it provides something of in­ terest for every member of the family. The Companion is published weekly, and fully illustrated. Its subscription price is $1."~ year, which, if sc.it now, will pay for ' to January, 188& ••ROUGH ON BATS" Clears oat rats, mice, reaches, flies, bugs, beetles, insects, skunks, jack Sparrows, gophers. 15c. At druggists. "KOVUU ON COltNS." t. Ask for Wells' 'Rough on Corns." Quick rsllaf, Complete cure. Corns, warts, bunions. iSo. "ROITC1U ON ITCH." 'Rough on Itch" cures skin humors, eruptions, ring worm, tetter, salt rheum, frosted feet, chil­ blains, itch, ivy poison, barber's itch. &0o jaia. The Japanese have not only nearly three hundred miles of railroad in op­ eration, but they make their own cars at Shinbaski, and the building of the line from Tsuruga to Ogaki was con­ ducted by young Japanese en whose task included two large and a tunnel a mile long, f igineers, bridges "Aran's Pills cured me oi stomach and liver troubles."--D. W. Baine, New Berne, N. 0. The hen finds out the man who robs her nest. She is always laying for him. Wnx not soil the clothmg nor stain the akin. Hall's Hair Benewer. Try it A hair-breadth escape does not seem narrow to a bald-headed man. "ROUGH ON CATARRH" Corrects offeaslve odors at once. Complete core of worst chronic eases; also unoqualed as gargle for diphtneria, sore throat, foal breath. Sue. Chapped hands, face pimples, and rough skin cured by usiug Juniper's Tar Soap, made by Caswell, Hazard A Co., New York. ••ROUGH ON PILES." Why suffer I'ilos ? Immediate relief and com- f lete cure guaranteed. Ask for "Hough on Piles.* ore cure for itching, protruding, bleeding, or any form of piles. 50c. At druggists or mailed. SKINNY MEN. Wells* 'Health Kenewer" restores health and vigor, oures dyspepsia, impotence, nervous de­ bility. For weak men, delicate women. SL WELLS' HA1K HAL SAM. If pray, restores to original color. An elegant dressing, softens aud beautitles. No oil nor grease. A tonic restorative. Htops hair coming out; strengthens, cleanses, heals scalp. SUc. [ and Mtifklm ItiMt Carrd in It So SS days, ltefcr to 1000 patient* ctired in all parts. Dr. Marsh, duincy.Kietu to 08 m day. Hamps?^ worth $1.50, FREE. Unes not under the horsn's feet. Address Brewster's Bifety Rein Holder, Holly, Mich. Lsarn neraand earn g<ood pay. Situations Bros., JanesTiUe, Wla James River.V.i., in Claremont ly. Illustrated O ieularFree. .>1AMIHA, Claremont.Va. Morphine HaMt Cared In lO to 20 <tays. No pay till cored, iir. J. Stephens, Lebanon,Ohio* DIAMOND Venttlator.--An Atrent Wantel in every Count* to tndroduce our System intoevery Builil- ine, 8 -hool, Hedr.wm andoffl, e. Liberal coiumissions. Address, f ir details, D.V. Co., 18nVr.rb.irn St.,Chicago. B.8. ft A. P. Lacry. Patent Attorneys,Washington, D.CJ. Inst vuotious and opinions as to patentability VRKK. mm years' experience. A I I UCM RiitTenmr from Nervous Debili- IWlClw ty. Vital Weakness, Wasting Ail­ ments. from (ttti/ rmnf, send f r particulars and ad- vice for Hell home core. I>r. J. Reunert. Peru. lint. A p» CENTS WILT. BUY 2 fastest-f.-ellitiRnovel- Tr»J lies in tlie world (by mail), viz.: Handsome Sensational Gold Watch and Clia n cud Corker Pocket Puzzle, just out. S. M. (OKI KH.HT, Manu­ facturer, MimicIi Chunk, I's. $5 TELEGRAPHY I furnuhad. Write Valentine £ FARiS.w"i OPIUM PATENTS W A N T E D G O O D M A N energetic worker; business In his section. Salary 970. References. Am.M'f'g House, & Barclay st, N.i. TO MAKE LITTLE l OI.KS IIAPl'Y We (tend the Delightful Story, Truksy's Christmas, by Maboaret Sidsky. to any clni i whose address is sent to us with a 2-ceut st imp for m • i 1 inor«. D. LOTHROP & CO , Boston. _TI»n beat Mamilneit are Babyland. 50 cents; Widf Awake. $2.40; Oca Litti.k Mks aKD Woiuuf. $1; The Pansy, ti a year. Send to D. L0THR0P & CO., 32 Franklfe St, Bettoa. IUv ft rated Si-page Chrittma* Greeting Aw. WARREN Thk best cough medicine is Piso's Cure for Consumption. Sold everywhere. 85c. If afflicted with Sore Eyos, use Dr. Isaac Thompson's Eye Water. Druggists soil it 25c. CREAMYBAIJPATAR R H It ia wonderful] how quick Ely's Cream Balm hat* hslped and eurec me. I gvffereo from acute (inflam­ mation in my noe* and head. For o week at a time 1 could not see.-- Mrs. Oeorgie S. Judson, Hartford Conn. A particle Is applied it > use. I" " ' Ciivuliir HWFEVER -FEVER . . .. huo»trilanflKsa|fn t.a.»Ae to use. Pr.ce 50 it*., bv mail or dru*eintH. Send for Kl.Y BHOtHEHS. DrupwiKts. Oweiio. N. V. • HUP STUDY. Secure a Business Education by HUME mail. Coiakce or Busixass. Buffalo, N. Y. MTEDT Amiiu uriua FOR SAI E. THE ADAM80N CO.. Patent So icitors. Muncie, Indiana. M»b!t Cure^. Trcatzasstgeiituu iriiu. HVMAMS Rbmk»yCo.,Lafayette, ind. WANT YOU! WE f • nrofltaole employment to represent u» in every bounty. Salary *75 per month and expenses, or a him eomnnsi'H'n on sales If preferred, floods staple, Every one buvs. Outfit and particulars ft" " IrfAN&AitD silverware oo., -- FOB DBKSSMAKINO. v The best elsstic bone In the world. TY«;h»rbo«»s has come. Whalebone naiiMt po. Feathorbime is com­ ing into general over\ wht r*1. Absolutely unhreaK- able. Solt aud rli'.ible. 1,,-id.es w lio wear it in Drexses, Waists, anil Cors. t< are Je iRlilod with it. Directions for one. Att-ich iliivitly to the open seam by sewuitf through the Featherbo^e. iry it. MSS ROSE CUVEUND,0"^^** Commences a N«>w .story In Godey. ' ONE LA1>V WANTED In each totcn to raise a club for GODEY'S Ltniy's Book. The eaaienl Magazine to work lfor. 'lh- la west commis­ sion* paid, and moat htauti-Iful premiums giv n to both IHubufrihcrs and dub Hals- tern. It will pay you to teiut ' 15 rents for a Sample Copy I eoHtatnini/ full particulars, I with club rates. Address GODEY, tiox 'l, H. I'hiUidtlphia, Pet. Jtnny June's Letters In 1887 fiodey. •••••••••••••Hi Sore relief a eifm a KIDDER'S PA8TILLE8.K»liri..™i lOy mall, tttowcii A c jUhftrlestowa, Mail. No Rope to Gut Off Horses' Manes. Celebrated 'tXLIFSI.' HALT and BKIOLE C oin blued, t\ not be Slipped by any horse. Sample Halter to any part, of U. S. free, o- receipt of #1. Sold l>y all Saduiery, Hardware and Harness D alers. Bpcclal discount to the Trade. Seud for i'lloe-Ust. JaCJJfiBTHOUSE,Rochester,N.¥ MENTION THIS PAPER mm »im« *• R U P T U R E p».E*fie at once.No red. Con-operMlon orbtmineaa deity; thousands ciji ruU-tlon free. AtStandifihHouse, Uetroit.Mich* 1 t-jl, h H Chicago,8 to laatof *acn raonttu Of an acadamy in Vermont wwiwl i by Hood's Sarsaparilla, sad ' interesting statement: "I cheerfully give m r n un litis 1 Hood's Sarsaparilla. I had born i . catarrh to some extent for a loaf used virions medicines with no good MMP* when I was so affected that speech waasontMl#- difflcu'it, and my voice wss entirely aBBSM|fciL. Z then began to use Hood's S&rsaparflle as adMi** dy, and with such rood effect that in a ftwWimm speech was easy, the voice natnr-jl, and oral health was mush improved, fl usattnKj a return of the disease is induced by taktnc when I resort st ores to the use of Hood's parilla, which I keep by me constantly, ?ad sfefijlK find relief. I regard Hood's Sarsaparilla as an in­ valuable remedy f jr catarrh, aad judging by Mi effects upon myself I cannot siy too much tttNi praise." J. 6. Ciun, Jericho. Vt. Hood's Sarsaparilla Bold bv >11 druggists. 91; s:x for $5. by C.I. HOOD ft <X>., Apothecaries, Lowell. IOO Doses One Dollar WHETHER TOO WAIWP i ••i Jii I*" " P I A N 0 < © 0 R G A N It will pay TO* to write tm tk» BEETHOVEN PlANO-QltGMI 0Ofe Washington, Wtrrsn Oo>* Ww» IZARD Olii Have been heartily enjoyed by the nearly every town and city in the Unit* Marvelous Cores have rverforned, , nesaed by thousands of pecpte, who can laiiUfj to TUE WOXPKHFCI. HKAI.1XO FOWCBOF rfttinm ^ ited State*, a, and wife* in taatif*to - -- j*or Hamlin's Wizard Oil. IT HAS NO Kgr AL FOB 1HK OCU or RHEUMATISM. KEUR ALGIA.T00TH ACHE. EARMHt HEADACHE. CATAR1UI. CROUP. SORE THROAT, UME BACK. CONTRACTED C0R0S.STIFF JOINTS. SPRAINS. BRUISES, BURNS, And Many Other Pains Caused by Accident or DfeMMk It is safe and pnrr>. does its work quickly and fives universal F-atisfm-tiou. lorsaleby drU£Kista» Yice.riOc. OurSongHook inailedfreetoSVeryhody.* Address WIZARD OiL COMPANY, CHfCAGO. Tlie BUYERS' GUUMi la issued Sept. and Marafci i each year. *9- 319 MMk ] 8)4*11';. inches?tvlt&#V«V ' '3.BOO i!liutratiMH>ft whole Picture Mhm,, GIVES Wholesale Fill-- direct to eonsmurrs on all |tnsda Hm persomal or family mse. Telia Ww ta order, mm! giv« exact coal of svarp. thing yon use, eat, drink, wear, « have Am with. Theee IRVitVilUI BOOKS tenuis bifbrmttsa flHiaA from the markets of tils wertL Wt will mail a eojqr FlkKaB to say a|s ireu ipsa receipt of 10 eta. to T expease of mailing, Let si hear: jroa. Rcapectfklljr, MONTGOMERY WARD A SST ft MO VT abash Aeeaae, Ckleaao. i O' ! P(L|p mailed by wTLIXVMS Dr. Willirjns' Indian life t sure cure :or i>luid.ble tdiie piles. Cure ama > ice 5cK- ami $t. At drui^tsfa4 MFll. CO. Cleveland.) s IN NOftTRCMI 300,000 ACRES of Chotce. Hardwood Farm* inir Landa for Sale att5J0an aera on long time. EXTRAORDINARY lndne*» menu offered. NO DROUTHS at CTriX>XES ! Full Partii-ular.o. with good IhlL FIUCE. Address C. I.. COLBY, , hit foa. Wis. Central PENSIONS. ERY SOLDIER SERRTSR'OL ̂ .--I ted States gets a peaskin. The loss of a finger, or the use of aflngeiv or any gunshot wound or other Inju­ ry. rtvea a pension. A ruptare, if bu~ alight, will vive a ponsion. ROB' veins, or disease* nf the longs. ] are entitled to a pension, dont it. Bdeetcd and K« Clalnwhi hands of Ott a Specialty. 4V Send lsr at Psirton and Bounty rtTZQBBA. : Agency for Weatsm i INIMAN.VFotlS. ran. inptd.stanioocvEKLsmrsmxwtG SUkaa Premium at theUrest Ivrcheron _ Ills. Sate Fur, held in Chicago Sept. MH. W. L. ELLWOOD, XMPOBTZS iXD BBKKOSB or PERGHERW The Largaet Breeding Establ FtrcSmi in the united 8tafe of Pure Blood aad Otadse now on hi fcer of which were Imported in July, large Import tion of .from .ISO to SOS entof Pure! Fivehundredl ala>**aa and aa-- bead will i Diddle ol October. VtaMora alwurs a come--coma and see them. 1 handleMthinK but I beat, sad take piide in showing stock. Location, DO KAMI, ILU ISSBttOw west ofOHoaao. ea Omaha Dtv. C. 4 IF. By. JOT Bend for CaUkwue. RUPTURE !iw reduction I Treatment, ta o^toeToriraa SHiaM&!«'s famous Home Trei known eusrantee. comfort and ei Won or hindrance t rotfi l*bor? No Perfect retention nightaul day; no chafing; all sees. y»tc Slo only Send for circular £rements, instructions and proofs. Qet < one and be happy. Oflio0>n*9O4 OFOiidWAyf Have yon heard of the astouadina reduction in Dr. . A. SHiaMA!«'s tamous Home Treatment, tae stly am ||*« •i .mF O.H.U. 'MENTION THIS PAPER «na WHEN WRITING TO AD lithbmer*' J°m **W * {flSB m i f P i i iTbsTOH B&AKS«LICXZBI* wwnatsd ths bsr<J«*t slerak > The anr romiH» • coven tbe eedreswUe. Itwm oflMttSloii. Haas Brand" traiMvfc IHalnSI tTslalsf s flrss. Ottt (wstsnmaf, sat wffl kMp yoa ts sucuats a pwfrct rtdt»e «--«."*»« ItlMH Iqm mknIm wlthost a>'M The Youth's Companion. PRIZE STQflLXESt If iM •if -i-i $1,500, First Pri2| Sto^" Blind proiher" will begin Jan. 1st, $5000 Prize Serial and Short Stories. X mftmf Thd other Prizd Storied, eight in all, will be published during 188?* free to Jan. ^ To any WW# who subscribe# now, and wada ua $|.7S, im will* 8 * tho subscription is received to January lat, 1337, and « ftilj yaar from that data. iacladtt the Double Thanksgiving and Christmas Numbars. Jftmnr Ordsr, c*ee*.er £*<«w m isoer. Copies and Toll Announcement Vtmk - Tlnaee Mention this paper. Address PERRY MASON & CO., MMN, 391«|k Pin, MM, aat. . .