SCOTCH CANNIBjLLS. A HsofMe Tal*«f Sawne, BMM«4HU Iaburaan timiljr, [PfciLadelphl* News.] ^ History eoafcsins mo parallel U the Bumble cruelties and robberies that were committed by 0110 Sawney Bene, ft Scotchman, in the reign of King James the First, before that monarch flame to the crown of England by the death of Queen Elizabeth. Sawney Beane was born about eiprlit or nine miles eastward of the city of Edin burgh, in the county of East Lothian, of parents who went hedging and ditching for their daily bread and who brought up their child to the Btme occupation. As he grew up, his dis position to idleness not permitting him to follow-an honorable employment, he left his father and mother and ran into the country, where, following a most Wicked coarse of life, and taking np With a woman as vicious as himself, «™«e exu, tne fireman took up their abode in a rock by the with his hose and greater phosphate of soda. After the ordinary I A SWORDSMAN'S (3 EE AT FIGHT, washing; the goods should be immersed before wringing and drying in a solu tion containing twenty per cent of tnngstate, with a proportionate quan tity of phosphate. In view of the re cent terrible disaster, and of many pre ceding one!*, it,#ould surely not be too much to iusist that all dresses, hang ings, side scree&s, and the like, worn or used on the stagey should be pro tected by this or some other suitable material. Fires almost always begin on the stage or near it, and no one who has been behind the scenes before or during the performance can wonder at it. It is not too much to say that there is always an immense risk of fire, and every cause which can lead to it should, as far as possible, be removed. Of course, other reforms ate necessary, especially means for the prevention of panic--electric lighting, the fireproof curtain, the smoke exit, the up their abode in a rock by seaside, on the shore of Shire Gallo way, where they lived for upward of twenty-five years. During that time they had both children and grandchil dren, whom they brought up so wickedly that they neven teimrated, kept no other company, and supported themselves by robbing. What was worse, they never committed a robbery without a murder, fliey never fre quented any market for provisions, but 00 soon as they murdered any man, wo man, or child they did not leave the body behind, but carried it to their den, where, cutting it up into quarters, they would pickle them and live upon human flesh till they got another prey of tlic same kjnd. But thsy had gen erally more taan they could eoi,aline, and in the night time, but at n great distance from the sanguinary minsion, ,iil°y threw the legs ,ind arms of some of those they had killed into the sea, which the tide frequently cast up at several parts of the country to the great astonishment of the beholders. Persons who went about their lawful occupations fell often into the liauds of these merciless cannibals and never re turned home again. This raised a general outcry among their friends and relatives, insomuch that the whole oountry was alarmed at such a great and mysterious loss of people, which frequently happened in traveling into the West of Scotland. Private spies were sent out into all parts to find out, if possible, how these nnexplainable events happened. For a length of time their strictest searches and inquiries were to no purpose. However, several honest travelers were taken up upon suspicion and wrong fully hanged upon, bare circumstances, besides several innocent innkeepers Who wore also executed for no other reason than that persons who had been thus lost were known to have lain in their houses, and were supposed to have been robbed and murdered by them and their bodies privately buried in obscure places. To such an extent was this carried that several innkeep ers on the western road of Scotland left off their business for fear of being made like examples apd followed other employments, so that travelers were put to many inconveniences for want of accommodations. However, after sev eral had been executed and no one made any confession ou the gallows, but all declared they were innocent of the crimes lor which they died, this ^rigorous way of proceeding was given Bp. w At last the discovery of the cannibals was thus made. A man and his wife, who was behind on the same horse, Jioming one evening from a fair, and ailing into tue ambuscade of these merciless wretches, they fell upon them in the most furious manner. The man to save himself &3 well as he could, fought bravely against them with sword and pistol, riding some of them down by main force of his horse, from which hiis wife in the conflict fell off. She was instantly murdered be fore the husband's face, and the female cannibals forthwith cut her throat, sucking her blood with as great a gusto M if it had been wine. The attacked man, who was the first to escape alive after falling into the hands of the cannibals, told some pas sengers who came to his rescue, what had happened and showed them the bloody spectacle of his wife, whom the murderers had dragged some distance off. The sight struck them all with stnpefaction and amazement They carried him to Glasgow, and, relating the matter to the provost of the city, he immediately Bent to the King'con cerning the matter. In a few days an army of 400 horsemen and a number of hounds started in search of the can nibals. After a careful hunt they came to the npirtment of Sawney Beane, where, to their surprise, they beheld the legs, arinis, thighs, hands, and feet of men.^romen, and children hung up like dried beef, and some limbs lying in pickle. In addition to these there was a great mass of money, both gold and silver, watches, rings, swords, pistols, and a great quantity of clothes, V>th linen and wojlen, and infinite other things which had been stolen from those the cannibals had murdered. All the plunder was seized and the men took what human flesh tho.v could Jied and buried it in the sands and brought cut Sawney Beane and his murderous family, which, beside him self, consisted of his wife, eight sons, six daughters, eighteen grandsons, and fourteen granddaughters. They wore all pinioned and carried to Edinburgh. All the country as they passed along flocked in multitudes to see the cursed tribe. When they arrived at their journey's end they were put into the talbooth for one night, whence the next day, bc'ing conducted under strong guard to Leighr the men, without pro cess or any manuer of trial, had their hands and legs cut off, by which ampu tation they bled in some hours to death. Fire Proof Fabrles. It has long been known that all fab rics, even the most delicate gauzes and muslins mav be rendered uninflamma ble by chemical treatment. Of course they cannot be made incombustible, but they can easily be so prepared as to bo incapable of bursting into flame. The chemical agents employed act by checkiug and modifying the destructive distillation which precedes what is properly known as inflammation. A j familiar example is afforded bv phos- facilities for escape. But if any or all of these were adopted and insisted on, it would still l>e most desirable that as many as poisible of the articles which com man lv lead to the disasters should be rendered fireproof.--London Ex change. Explosions of Natural Gas. We are told that dreadful conse quences are likely to follow the Amer ican enterprise of boring for natural gas; that in China the Lake Foo Chang rests upon a district that was blown up and all its inhabitants destroyed, and that the same catastrophe is imminent in the Unite States unless the laws re strict further development in tha bor ing of so many wells. The correspond ent wlmsoua^s thi-i note of alarm says: "Should an explosion occur there will be such an upheave! as will dwarf the most terrible of earthquakes ever known. The country along the gas belt from Toledo through Ohio, Indiana and Kentucky will be ripped up to a depth of from 1,200 to 1,503 feet and flopped over like a pancake, leaving a chasm through which the waters of Lake Erie will come howling down, filling the Ohio and Mississippi valleys and blotting them out forever." This is very startling, and to many may appear very plausible, seeing that the quantity of gas that sometimes rushes forth when these wells are opened is so enormous. Those, how ever, who have made practical experi ments on exploding suoh gases will not be prevented from settling in the Ohio or Mississippi Valley by fear of the-an- ticipated catastrophe. Lecturers who, like myself, says a writer in the GentlemenMagazine, have often shown the old popular ex periment of the electrical pistol will especially appreciate my meaning. This is a tube through which an elec tric spark may be passed into a mixture of coal gas and atmospheric air. The usual mode of showing the experiment is,to hold the tube over a gas jet for a few seoonds, then cork it and pass the spark. It should explode and shoot out the cork, but very frequently fails, and why? Simply because it contains too much gas. The lecturer, in such case, removes the cork, blows down the tube or otherwise removes some of the gas, and introduces air in its place, then tries again, and bang it goei. The fact is that a tube, a borehole, a gaspipe. a gasholder, a cavern or a coal mine filled or nearly filled with hydro carbon gas is perfectly inexplosive. If half filled with such gas it will not ex plode. Even at the present day the majority of those who pass the great gasholders ("gasometers," as they are miscalled) of our gas works imagine that a terrible explosion would occur if a light reached their contents. The fact is that if a flaming torch were plunged into one of them when filled with gas the torch would be instantly extinguished, and the gas issuing from the hole through which the torch was thrown would simply burn in the air, but not in the holder. It would be a big gas jet but nothing further.-- Gen tleman's Magazine. Peddlers of Corea. The peddlers of Corea sometimes bring their things in packs on coolies' backs, and sometimes they pro duce a bushel of bundles from the depths of their loose sleeves. After a boy had shown his choice lot of copper bowls one day he went up his sleeve and brought outCtt'trained sparrow that he put through several tricks and slipped up his sleeve again when we re I used to buy. Several brought quan tities of hair for sale, and insisted upon unrolling the bundles of coarse, black Queues that had been clipped from the heads of Corean boys. There is a great trade with China in these Corean locks that are used to piece out queues. A large black bowl, inlaid with mother- of-pearl, was brought one day and gave occasion for many remarks al>out this wonderful wash-bowl being the only proof that any Corean liud ever in tended to wash himself; but it turned out that the bowl was used to hold the back hair of the palace ladies and sing ing girls, who wear tremendous chig nons weighing fourteen and twenty pounds. Of the really good things that are brought for sale the best are small iron boxes, padlocks, and small weapons inlaid with silver in some really fine designs, many of them so nearly Persian as to astonish connois seurs, and others in a fine diaper and key pattern quite as foreign to this end of the world. As inlaid metal work, it is crude and coarse com pared to what other and very near nations can do. Disks of open-work bronze and iron are often brought hung full of coins strung on strings of colored silk. The coins and medals are curious in them selves, and they are regarded not only as charms aud ornaments but as a proper way for a coin-collector to dis play his treasures. Of embroidery, either new or old, very little is seen that is good or curious, considering the near neighborhood of China and Japan. The peddlers often bring the square bits of embroidery worn on the front and back of the Mandarin's palace clothes, but they are generally too frayed, faded, and stained to be of any me. The plastron of a civil Mandarin has two Corean stalks flying toward each other. Distinction as a Chinese scholar allows other to wear the storks, while a General sports a brace of most dangerous-looking white tigers phorus. Although phosphorus is itself i broidered on black silk, Vith a finish very inflammable, it is difficult to light wood or paper from its flame, because the solid phosphoric acid formed in the combustion coats and protects articles presented to it. Phosphorus burnt on paper chars but rarely ignites it. The chemicals most commonly used for the of conventional clouds and waveB in brilliant colors. At. weddings the bridegroom, however lowly in station, mav ride in an official chair, sit on an official leopard-skin near the royal red, and also embroider cranes on his gown. The bridegroom pushes the privilege purpose are alum, borax, phosphate of to its limit then, and the plastron of soda, sal-ammoniac, and tungstate of •oda. Alum acts injuriously on the fabrics, especially if colored, but the others are commonly harmless, and most of them are cheapo Tungstate of soda is the best Used singly, it is apt to become insoluble and to run off, ipt this risk can.be diminished by the aodition of about three per cent, of cranes becomes a veritable apron of red satin covered with four, six, and eight cranes of different colors.--SL Louis Globe-Democrat. FRIENDSHIP improves happiness and abates misery by the doubling of our joy ancl the dividing of our grief.-- Cicero. *•» LonU Kills Thirteen Opponents Be fore Two Armien In Madrid. [Outing.] So extraordinary is this combat, that it would be held a romance had it not been witnessed by a whole army. The hero is Jean Louis, of whom we have already spoken as one of the great mas ters of the beginning of this century, and the duel happened in Madrid in 1813. He was the master-at-arms of the Thirty-second Regiment of French infantry; the First Regiment, composed entirely of Italians, formed part of the same brigade. Regimental esprit de corps and ri valries of nationality caused constant quarrels, when swords were often whipped out or bullets exchanged. After a small battle had occurred in the streets of Afadrid, in which over two hundred French and Italian sol diers had taken part the officers of the two regiments, in a council of war as sembled, decided to give such breaches of order a great blow and to re-estab lish discipline; they decreed that the masters-at-arms of the two regiments should take up the quarrel and fight it out. The drum is heard; two men, nalcod to the wai^t, step in the ring. The first is tall and strong; his black eyes rove disdainfully upon the gaping crowd; he is Giacomo Ferrari, the cele brated Italian. The second--tall, also handsome, and with muscles like steel --stands modestly awaiting the word of command; his name is Jean Louis. The witnesses assume their places ou either side of the principals. A death like silence ensues. "On guard!" The two masters cross swords; Gia como Ferrari lunges repeatedly at Jean 'Louis; but in vain, his every thrust is met by a parry. He makes up his mind to bide his chanca, and caresses and teases his opponent's blado. Jean Louis, calm and watchful, lends him self to the plav, when, quicker than' lightning, the Italian jumps aside with a loud yell aud makes a terrible lunge at Jean Louis--a Florentine trick, of ten successful. But, with extraordinr ary rapidity, Jeau Louis has parried, and rispots quickly in the shoulder. "It is nothing," cries Giacomo, "a mere scratch," and they again fall on guard; almost directly he is hit in the breast This time the sword of Jean Louis, who is now attacking, pene trated deeply. Giacomo's face becomes livid, his sword drops from his hand, and he fall heavily on the tutf. He is dead. „ Jean Louis is already in position; he wipes his reeking blade, then, with the point of his blade in the ground, he calmly awaits the next man. Jean Louis has had hardly two min utes' rest He is ready. A new adver sary stands before him. A sinister click of swords is heard, a lunge, a parry, a rispot, and then a cry, a sigh, and all is over. A second body is be fore Jean Louis. A third adversary advances. They wanted Jean Louis to rest "I am not tired," he answers with a smile. The signal is given. The Italian is as tall as the one who lies there a corpse, covered with a military cloak. He has closely watched Jean Louis' play, and thinks he has guessed the secret of his victories. He multiplies his feints and tricks, then, all at once, bounding like a tiger on his prey, he gives his opponent a terrible thrust in the lower line. But Jean Louis' sword has parried, and is now deep within his opponent s breast . What need to relate any more; ten new adversaries followed him, and the ten fell before Jean Louis amid the ex cited yells and roars of an army. At the request of the 32d regiment's colonel, who thought the lesson suffi cient, Jpan Louis, after much pressing, consented to stop the combat, and he shook hands with the two survivors, applauded by 10,000 men. Qneer Human Mature. "Well, yes," said Senator Sawyer to a little group of Detroit friends who had been discussing some of the hard ships of publio life. "I often catch myself wondering what there is about a public career that holds men to it so tenaciously. They dig and fret and toil, go without needed sleep in hard campaigns, and subject themselves to the severest punishments for--what? They remind me of a chap in Vermont I was at an insignificant landing on Lake Cham plain, where the boats were due at 2 o'clock in the morning, but never stopped save in response to a sig nal. I hunted up the flagman to signal the next boat for me. He was a lank looking chap, and somewhat of a char acter. I didn't think it possible that he could get a living out of flagging a boat and surely he couldn't be doing it for the fun of the thing. Finally I asked what bis job paid. "What do I git?" he replied with the inevitable Yankee interrogation. "Wa'll naow, to come right down tew it, I wouldn't git up every night at 2 o'clock in the mornin'to flag a pesky boat not for ten dollars a night, but here I am a-dewin' it for thirty-seven an* a half cents."--Detroit Free Press. The Best Trade for a Youngr Han. The following question and answer lately appeared in the Christain Ad vocate. The Advocated advice may profitably be pondered, poiut by point by any young man just about to ap prentice himself to some trade: Q. What sort of a trade would yon advise a youn^ man to learn who wants to get ahead in the world! A. First. A trade that is either neo- essary to the human race or that ap- peals to a special class who can always be relied upon to consume its products. Second. A trade for which the person learning it has a natural taste and apti tude. Third. A trade that is not de pendent on seasons or particular local ity. Fourth. A trade which admit* of a person mastering it so as not to be dependent upon employers, and which does not require so much capital that he cannot reasonably expect ever to be an employer himself. Fifth. A trade that in all probability will agree with his physical constitution. Sixth. A trade that is not necessarily menial nor generally filthy. The Lawyer and tlie Cashier* A Bank Cashier Who had Stolen $50,000 from the Band and Skipped out to Cincinnati, Went to a Lawyer and said: "How can I Fix Matters so as to be safe from the Law?" "I will Arrange to have the Bank Settle for Half the Amount," was the Prompt reply. When this had been done the Thief Expressed his Great Pleasure and Sat isfaction, and inquired: "Aud now what shall I Pay yon for your services ?" "The Other Half, sir!" was the Calm reply. Moral.--It's a Wonder the Lawyer left so much for the Bank.--Detroit Free Press. wkUAsmvm CrtMft tS© Wasting Away of totoojr •Oil Old Age. Among the causes of death which appear wifti the greatest frequency in the mortuary reeord, "marasmus" holds its own with remarkable uniformity. Not that it counts its victims in each week of the fifty-two alike, but it is always there. In summer the children fall before it by soores and hundreds; in winter the old people perish from its blighting breath; at all seasons the puny victims of ancestral vice and the starved inmates of overcrowded tene ments are found dying of this terrible affliction. It never becomes epidemic, for the caotes aflect individuals, not whole communities as a rule. Hunger may kill if nothing is to be had to sat isfy its cravings, but when this happens anil millions perish, a famine is said to afflict the land. When cancer closes the inlet to the stomach, so that star vation closes the scene, "inanition" is the term to indicate this termination of the dread dfeeasa The mechanism of death by famine, by inanition, and by marasmus, is one and the same. For some reason or other, in any of these instances, new materials do not reach the different organs and tissues to re pair the wear and tear that is ever go ing on; without which life itself could not continue. Destruction must go on, and reconstruction must keep pace with it, otherwise the vital processes must o6ase. That growth and development should proceed satisfactorily in the earlier years of life, that all the organs of the body should be preserved and capable of performing their various duties at every age, and that the organism should wear out gradually and without too much discomfort in old age, are ex tremely desirable. Yet these cannot be unless nutrition is kept up at every stage of life. Of course by this term is meant the proper provision of mate rials to build up in the first place, and afterward keep in full repair all the structures of the body. In order that nutrition may be kept up food must be provided, which should be properly prepared for the action of of the digestive system, and be adapted to the special needs of the individual to be nourished. If any of these requi sites are wanting it is folly to expect nutrition to be maintained. Of equal importance, if not of still greater con sequence, is the presence of digestive organs in a condition to enable them to take up and dispose of nourishment when offered in proper quantity and quality. The ingenuity of man has enabled him to meet these requirements of the wasting body under many appar ently desperate conditions, but. unfor tunately, the conditions which arise are too often beyond the reach of art, and marasmus claims its victims in spite of science. From what has just been said it will be understood that "marasmus" means a persistent wasting of the body, due to defective nutrition. It will be not iced that the term is very indefinite, and it is also apparent that it cannot well be otherwise, because the condi tions are often numerous and compli cated, which combine to produce the one effect It may be impossible to say whether improper food, hereditary disease of the liver or imperfect diges tion, due to simple weakness, has had the most to do in causing the death of a child. Here "marasmus" comes to the aid of the physician who had done his best to dombat the evils which he could not remedy. It is nonsense to say that Such a certificate denotes igno rance in the practitioner. It does nothing of the sort; it merely denotes a complex of conditions only too often met with in practice.* This is true not alone of the tenement-fcpuse population, but also of the inmatos of the finest mansions. The worst cases, apparently, of ma rasmus, are met with among babies that are "brought up on the bottle," or who have been recently webned. These are frightful because of rapid loss of flesh and seemingly the failure of every reasonable metfcod devised for their relief. When properly managed, however, a successful rescue from al most certain death will often reward the "mixing of brains" along with the medicine--of which, by the way, very little need be given.--8L Loy.is Globe- Democrat. Some Feats of Zerah Colbarn. Zerah Colburn was asked to say what number multiplied into itself would give the number 268,336,125, writes Prof. Proctor. The idea was to see how far he would get ahead of a practiced computer, who was set to work finding the cube root of the num ber (for that was what Colburn was asked for) by the usual process. But before the practiced computer had written down the number Colburn gave the answer, 645. Colburn was at this time only 8 years old, and he had not even so much; instruction in arithmetic as most boys bf that age have received. He knew nothing of the rules for ex tracting roots. But even if he had known how to extract the cube root of a number, his feat would not be* less marvelous. Let anyone who would learn to appreciate Colburn's calculat ing power try the following experi ment: Set down the number just named and obtain the cube root by the ordinary method, making no hurry over the work; next copy the figures thus obtained, setting them down (in their order as obtained) as fast as a pen or pencil will travel, noting the time taken in this easy part of the work. Then consider that a child 8 years old ob tained the right result, without pen or pencil, in less time than had been taken to copy down the number itself, to which all the calculation thus written out had been applied. Asked what numbers will divide 36,- 083 exactly, Colburn at once answered: "None." Let the reader try how long it takes with pen and paper to prove that this is really so; he will have to trj^the divisors 3, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29, 31, 37, 41, 43, 47, 53 and many more, up to 187, before the proof will be complete. Once, and once only, did Colburn have to make any considerable effort in dealing with a number as he dealt with 36,083. The number was somewhat famous in mathematical annals--viz: 2,294,967,297, of which the great arith metician, Format had declared that it had no divisor. Format even gave what appeared to him a proof of this; .but the celebrated mathematician, Eu- .ler, showed that the proof was incom plete. Euler also, after long labor, found a number, 611, which will divide Fermat's asserted 'indivisible." Col burn was set the same task which had foiled Fermat and occupied Eulor for months. The little child could not answer that day, nor the next, nor for a week or fortnight: but in the third week he gave the solution. During that time he had kept no records of his work save in that wonderfully retentive little brain of his It may interest the reader to know that th6 number over which Fermat and Euler had contended U obtained by multiplying two into it self thirty-one times and adding units. Colburn did the work of thus obtain ing the number in a few minutes.--Ex change. v' ^he Crown Prince's ScIssoM^ At the state ball given at Turin in horor of Prince Humbert's wedding, in lfetJf, the Princess of Piedmont's dress caught in the spur of an officer of the lancers; result, a tremendous rent in the sweeping skirt, and a long whisp of gown trailing on the floor. Before the Princess had time to appeal to one of her ladies-in-waiting the Crown Prince of Prussia had produced a pretty little morocoo etui, from which he ex tracted a dainty pair of scissors, and, kneeling down at the feet of the bride, skillfully cut away the wreck. After he had effectually relieved the Princess of her incumbrance, he rose, bowed profoundly, returned his "case of emer gency" to his pocket, and resumed his place at the King's s de, amid the nub- dued murmurs of satisfaction of all the ladies near him. The success that attended hit graocv ful little action was tenfold enhanced when, later in the evening, it came out that, on Victor l.mmanuel compliment ing him anent the forethought lie dis played in carrying a complete trousse about him even in a ball room, "our Fritz" replied: "Tho whole merit of the idea belongs to my wife, sire, not Air tigly eotnplexlon mads irerne a ftrfgtd^ fler f&oe was aU pimply and red, , Though her featares were good and her ml tjw wen bright, "What a plain girl is Nellie I" they said. But now, as by magic, plain Nellie has grown •As fair aa an artist's bright dream; Her face ia aa aweet as the flower new-blown. Her cheeka are Ilka pc aches and cream. Aa Nellie walks out in the fair morning light. Her beauty attracts every eye, And KB for the people -who called her a fright* "Why, Nellie ia handsome," they ery. And the reason of the change ia that Nellie took Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery, which regulated her liver, cleared her com plexion, made her blood pure, her breath sweet her faoe fair and rosy, and removed the defects that had obscured her beauty. Sold by druggists. J You should never tease They are apt to get raven mi burg Chronicle. birds. Pitta- romote PIKE ex's Pleasant Purgative PI , Powerful Potency, Pass Painlessly, Physical Prosperity. PEOPLE who are not acquainted with grief never saw a superior maa show a a woman how tb sharpen a lead pencil. Pof Throat Diwaaes and Convhs u»o liaowN's BRONCHIAL TBOCHKS. LIKE all realty good things, they are imitated Tha fftnuine are * old only in boxes. THERE is one tie-up that eveiyone can approve of, a&d that is marriage.--Boston Consumption Surely Cored. To the Editor: --Please inform your leaden that I have a positive remedy for the above- _ „„ , named disease. By ita timely "use thoueandsof to me. Long ago .he 8«™ me a picket ne essaire with all sorts of useful things in it--needles and thread, button hooks, sticking plaster, and scissors, as jrou saw just now--und made me prom ise to keep it always in my pockot wherever 1 went What took place just now only proved that I am a lucky fellow to have such a clever wife to look after me."--Beatty-Kingston Book. Pleasing the Visitor. In Morocoo the bastinado is used on the slightest provocation. Not long ago the keeper of the prison there was asked by an American traveler, whom, for some reason, he was anxious to please, what the punishment of the bastinado was like. The answer was that he should see for himself. In a few minutes a man was brought in, fas tened to the floor, faoe downward, and terribly beaten upon the upturned soles of his bare feet. The screams and en treaties of the poor wretch were so heartrending that our countryman in terfered and begged for mercy, when the punishment was immediately stop- })ed. "What has this man done?" Baid te to the officer. "Nothing," was the reply. "Then what are you whipping him for?" was the amazed question, which was answered in a tone of equal < astonishment: "Why, didn't you ask to seo a man bastinadoed?" They had gone into the street, seized a passer by, and severely whipped an inoffen sive man, merely to gratify, the curiosi ty of an amiable foreigner.--The Ar gonaut. He Couldn't l)o It. _ An Areola man who played poker till 3 o'clock in the morning came home pretty full of bug-juice and very short of money. When he attempted to crawl in through the window, his wife bawled out: "Open the shutter and raise the blind." "It's (hie) no nse, my dearl Can't (hie) raise the blind. I'm--I'm (hie) busted."--Areola Record. FIIEE to any of your reodera who have consump tion if tney will 6end mo. their £xprass and P. O. address. Respectfully. T. A. SLOCUM. M. C.. 181 Pearl St., K. T. PI50S CURE FOR CONSUMPTION for Mnsion £«wa to O. S. n Agents H I'ZGKKAl.l) I'DH KLL. Indianapolis. Ind. PENSIONS H H.flQ t. but ia *<>ld at 35 cents a box by dealers. WUTM« «• lITUnUM. C I OLD is worth aw per ponnd, Pettifs Eye Salve JTSt.noi, but is sold at _ 1UMTION THIS PAMER WPWCTftW! *9 Soldiers and Heirs. L. BIN» FOCLMUJNJI MAM, Att y. Washington. £>. C. lintTION TIHS FAPEE wibr *um« TO OPIUM A NEW NOVEL ooi&p'ets -in eacti -1i--i>*r • *',k> bit Cwrl In lO lo pay till cared. M, Lebanon, Olilo. Rtories and essays. S300per year. Seed 10 cents tor nample oopy fc> LU'MSCOTi'S UAGAZ1NK, IMilUdaipkU. Q LO RIDA K? srxi truth about land. Franklin St, N. t. free guide books, maps < write O. M. CKOMBY, CBECJi"' m»!l. Full Description PKEEM(km,> 8Tallor8T«»emofbrena f ilfclfcCuttrnK. MOODY a 00. Cincinnati, O. MENTION THIS PAPER sraam $250 MCNTIO PATENTS | A MONTH. Airpnt* wanted. flObests")!- in(t articles in the worl.l, I simple KKEE. Address ,1 AY HKONXIN, Detroit, Mich. MENTION THIS PATER vn tuw so uriRnuia, R. 8. k A. P. tiACET, Patent Attorneys, Washington, D.C. . liiKtnu-tious and npimona as to patentabikty 1KKE. 17 yearn' experione#. S5 PENSIONS to S8 a day. Samples worth 11.50, FRER. Tinea not under tho home's feet. Write Brewster Sifoty KeiuHolderCo., Holly. Mich ENTION THIS FAFEa wmsn winim TO urnnuu, kAntncreuemaybedne. Ad- idresH Mn.o B. STEVKSSACO. PMetropol'n Bik, Chicago, 111. MENTION THIS PAPER wmit wiimf re ADTI H AUr CTIinV Bookkeepine, Business Forms, UBIC w IIIIII «lVuinunship,Arithmetic,Short hand, etc., thoroughly taught by man. Circulars free. UBTANT's Business ENTION THIS PAPEa wu> JOLLKGK, Buffalo, N.Y. uxsniuau. LOVE, whether newly born or aronsed from a death-like slumber, must al ways create a sunshine, filling the heart so full of radiance that it orer- flows upon the outward world. IIow to Sclcct a Wife. Good health, good morals, good Rense. and good temper are the four essentials for a good wifo. These aro the indispensable*. After them coine the miuor advantages of good looks, accomplishments, family posi tion, etc. With the first four, marrie l life will be comfortable and happy. Lacking either, it will bo in more or lees degree a fail ure. " Upon good health depends largely good temper and good looks, and to some extent good sense alao, as tho best mind must be affected more or less by the weaknesses and whims attendant on frail health. Young man, if your wile is falling into a state of invadid- ism, first of all try to rpstoro her to health. If she is troubled with debilitating female weak nesses, buy Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescrip tion. It will cure her. < A KEG no barber- shop must be a gnat place for wool-gathering.--Puck, In tienernl Debility, Kmaclatlon, Consumption, and wasting in children, Scott's Emulsion of l'uro Cod Liver Oil with Hypo- phosphites is a most valuable food and medi cine. it creates an appetite for food, strength ens the nervous system, snd builds up tho body. Please read: "I tried Hcott's EmuWon on a young man whom physicians at times gave up hope. Kino he began ueing the Emulsion his cough has ceased, gained flesh and strength, and from all appoaranoes his life will be prolonged many years."--JOHN SULLIVAN, Hospital Steward, Morganza, Pa. KIBDHT8 P/BTIIlKiaatiJS'i: AGENTS WANTED rAITKKNH. lor making Buns, Tidies. Caps, Mittens, etc. Ma chine ttent k>y mail for $1. Bend for late reduced pric«-liat. K. BOSS & CO.. Toledo,'Ohio. ARRH„ MfraatiiottrfaUfcwtcMiewittjei SEE will mall wovgfcU caa & lb UptiaiMi A Co* tt«wacfc« JU ELY'S CREAM BALM la the best remedy for children suffering from COLO in HEAD, SNUFFLES CATARRH. Apply Balm Into each nostril. ELY BROS., SU Greenwich SL, N. T. I C U R E F I T S ! When I say euro I ilo not mean merely to stop them for a time aud then have them return again. 1 mean a radical cure. 1 have made the disease of FITS. EPI- I.EPSV or FALLING SICKNESS u lite-Ions; study. I warrant my remedy to cure tbs worst case*. Because others have failed is no reason for not now receiving a curs. Send at once for a treatise and a Free Bottln ot ®v inf.illiblo remedy. Give Kxpreus and Post Office. II. U, UOOX, M. 183 Pearl St., New York. K I D D E R ' S WHEN a man i oyer his ears in ;ets a hat on credit is he not iebt ?--Puck. Cheap Farming Lands South. It is a recognized fact that the cheapest farming lands in America to-day are in the South, and men of much or moderate means, looking for real estate investment.?, or permanent homes, should not fail to visit the following points, where so m iny Northern people are now settling, viz: Jackson, Tennessee; Aberdeen and Jack son, Mississippi; Hammond, Crowley, Jennings, Welsh and Lake Charles, Lou isiana. Bound Trip Tourist tickets, lira ited to June 1st, 1888, with stop-over priv ileges south of Cairo, Illinois, are on sale to New Orleans, Jennings and Lake Charles. For rates apply to nearest ticket ag iit, and be 6are your tickets read via the Illinois Central liailroad from Chicago or St. Louis. For pamphlet entitled "South ern Home Seeker's Guide," and circulars concerning the above named pointa. ad dress the undersigned, at Manchester, Iowa. J. F. MEKKY, Gen. West. Pass. Agt. %. Popular Thoroughfare. The Wisconsin Central Line, although a comparatively new factor in tho rai road sys tems of the Northwest, has acquired aa envi able popularity. Through careful attention to details, its servioe is as near perfection as might be looked for. The train attendants •eem to regard their trusts as individual property aud a* a result the public is serve! par-excel e ic3. Tho road now runs solid through fast trains between Chicago, Milwau kee St Paul and Minneapolis with Pullman's best and uneouilled dining cars; it also runs through, solid sleapers between Chicago, Ash land, Duluth and tho famom mmmg regions of Northern Wisconsin and Michigan. NINE new comets wero observed dur ing the year 1886. Hood's Sarsaparilla This successful medicine is a carefully-prepared extract of tho best remedies of the vegetable kingdom known to medical scicnce as Alteratives, Blood Purifiers. Diuretics, and Tonics, such aa Sarsaparilla, Yellow Dock, Stillingia, Dandelion, Juniper Berries, Mandrake, Wild Cherry Bark and other selocted roots, barks and herbs. A medicine, like anything else, can be fairly Judged only by its results. We point with satisfaction to the glorious record Hood's Sarsaparilla has en tered for itself upon tho hearts of thousands of people who have personally or indirectly been relieved of terriblo suffering which all other remedies failed to reach. Sold by all druggists, fl; six for $3. Hade only by C. L HOOD A 00* Apothecaries. Lowell, Kass. IOO Doses One Dollar A SUKK CUKE FOR INDIGESTION and DYSPEPSIA. Over 5.000 I'hynii'ians have sent us their approval of DIGEST VLI; that it in the best preparation for Indigestion that they havo ever used. We bavn never he.ird of a case of Dvspepsia wherv DIGESTYLIN was taken that was not cured. FOR CHOLERA INFANTUM. rr WILL ClfRK THE MOST AGGRAVATED CASES, IT WILL S lOi- VCWUTlNU IN i'HLUNANOY. II WILL KELIEVE CONSTIPATION. For Summer Coinpiaints aud Chronic Diarrhea, which are the direct rexults oi imperfect digestion, D1UEHTY1JN will effect an immediate cure. Take DIUE^TYI.IN lor al pains and disorders of the Ktoiuaoli; they all come from indigestion. Ask your drutsVixt for bill EST VI. IN (prico $1 per lar^e lioftle 1. if lie docs not have it, send one dollar to us and we will semi a bottle to you, express prepaid. Do not hesitate to send your money. Our house Is reliable. Established twenty-live years. WM. i\ KIDI>I:K & ca.. Slanufuctuiin^ Cltcuiiats, 83 John St., N. I. MENTION THIS I'AI'ER <ai> ntma TO ADTRKTtuas. STEKETEE'S Dry Jitters! Make Your Own Bitters. Why p iv a Dollar for a bottle of Stomach Bitters, containing m ue poor whisky than med cine, when the undersigned will semi you by mail one 4 oz. package of 1U> -TS, HKKH8 aud BKIJKIE8, which will make ONE G.VIJ/1X of the icst TONIC anyone ever u«ed. The use of this Tonic has cured INDI GESTION. DYSPEPSIA. EfVEIt and Ai il'E; as au ap petizer none better; acts on the Kidneys and General Debility, and gives Tone to the stomach; in fact. I diall-Mitre all other Tonics. It is far the < heapeat Tonic known. Oue nac.age will equ <1 one dozen bottles of ordinary Bitters old for One Dollar par bottle. Full directions on everv pack we. Ask vour DroKL'ist f, ,r -.STEKI.TE-/S DllY lilTTEKS." If your Drutfuist does not keep them on sale, then send to the undersigned. 1 will send one pu kage to any ad dress within the IT. S. on receipt of 8.V. U. S. pos'am stamps taken in p iyment. Two packages V> , ana a trial bottle STEKETEE'S NEUUALGIA DROPS in cluded Add ess GEO. G. STEKETEE, Grand Itspfds, Mich. Use STEKETEE'S PIN WOIIM DESTIIOYEU, sum cure. Price 'ii rents. %v« will (iv« a Solid Oold Watch and Solid Oold Queen Cob Chain |jiut >• reprwnud is lli > "cut.(!adv's orrfQtlctnftD1,) ib «'t rrull 07S. to any out t«r.;»c lfc*k>C|.-•etreric In li » llil/itf before Jan'y l.">th. If there b* mere tuaa cue correc answer the te^cD.! w iM re c*iv» a i*AQttfnl Chat- £laln (Solid Oold) W a t c h a n d i b n l n worth >t retail, MtO, TkrtbW • Solid Oold Watch and Chain worth930. The four : will receive u •krsnt *ol Id mid 18k. Kins, worta st retail SIO. e- , m-h «/ the aeit SO, tf there be eo n rorr*ci a SI Oold _ fiecc. With VOW Miner send 15 two^fent vtaxnps (^Oo.) for whkh we w!!t «rn>i you a Btau'.iful Chrattras EAd Year Peckftg*. coauiomff an •toiliimt of Chmutiftt Card», > ew Year Card*, EatUr Cardt, Birthda* Cards, Sunday Scbv>ol CartU, SU«rard of Cardu,* Pta« A«*^rUn»o& of P1cturt«f • Giit-buund A«t*- rraph Albaa ttiUft fi«v quotations for IMM *b4 our SampI* Book NiwMt Num Thb aarkaf* would o«*t ttcrfe thaa do«bl« Ibttft&ouot at retail store, aad «• kept you «rill and BI or dart for th«m wba vou tfcow. Wag«armbif« •ftttftfactloB or BMtf rofttBried. Maillot thia lipw. KTTT MATOI WH1I4S1M6 68., WEST IMS, MFAJ. low MI VALI. mcsm • There ismHyii* frofit in iMom* mendingthe worth less, for the reso- tion in the mind? Of those who kf •nd are deoeired b pointdHly against everything add by inch a dealer. Hence, the force of the following voluntary let- ter, which ia based upon the conscien tious con viction formed from the long and _<»ntioti3 experience of a leading <T * represents in every line most arid valued revelation: "Boston /my li, 1SS7.--The Charles A. Vogcler 'Jo.--Gentle men : Many preparations are placed befigte the public, and for a time at least they have a large but temnoraty sale--large, because of the extensive advertising; temporary as tho suffering class soon realize that tne com pound possesses but little merit. Not so with St. Jacobs Oil. Its success has been constant from the start, and to-day we regard it as am of those standard remedies that our tradt consider as absolutely essential to always carry in their stock. Personal experience and the good words of the druggists of New England all tend to prove that each year will add to its sale and well deserved popularity. Signed, Doolittle & Smith." Taking tbs many cases of cure, published by the pro prietors, examples are given of its unvarying; eftects m the worst chronic cases, and then- is nothing in trade which can approach it* efticacv. FREE i--A SPECIMEN COPT OF THE TOLEDO BLADE! (XASUVS PAPEKI. THE BEST Wl'.EKI.V IN THE WORXJD1 . 8<indP0SU1- I sa FOB the year 1888 Frank Leslie's FOIfJl* UL\R MONTHLY, which has been aptly stvled "The Monarch of the Month* lies," will be better than ever. Articles upon topics of current public interest; Sketches of eminent persons ; strong ana brilliant stories ; poetry of a high order : all profusely illustrated, and by writera of recognized merit, will fill its pages. To the old and favorite corps of contrib utors will be added writers of promiaa, and no effort will bo spared to keep Ito magazino in the foremost rank. In the November number was begun aa «n> f acd powerful tale, RINCE LUCIFER, By ETTA W. PIERCE, M\ich has already attracted widespread attention, and charmed lou'titudes of fSadera. Subscriptions may begin, if da- tired, with the November number. Each issue contains a M-Paje Picture in Colors, tho .series of twelve forming for the i a beautiful collection of genu of modern art. Tho POPULAR MONTHLY contains 138 larg* octavo pages, nearly twice the matter of similar publications, and is not only tha test but by far the cheapest of any of tha magazines for the people. $8.00 per Tear; 25o. a Gopf^ SncntEN Coraa, 15 CTS. IMP- FRANK LESLIE, a, K and sr Pass PLACB, XBW M *>%>- tw MLIuguld, low-epirtted, 1 ile, ooth ph less, and indescribably mlaerabli cally and mentally; experience a fullness or bloating1 after eating, or of' ncss," or emptiness of stomach In tha i intf, toiiRue coated, bitter or bad taste | mout h, irreg-ular appetite, dizziness, freqi headaches, blurred eyesight," floating a; before the eyes, nervous prostration haustion, irritability of temper, hot flu alternating with chilly sensations, a biting, transient pains here and there, feet, drowsiness after meals, wakefulin disturbed and unrefreshtng sleep, cor. indescribable feeling of dread, or of hnf iuar calamity ? If you havo all, or any considerable number of these symptoms, you are suffering from' that most common of American maladies-- Bilious Dyspepsia, or Torpid Liver, associated with Dyspepsia, or Indigestion. The mor» complicated your disease has become, tbfr greater tho number and diversity of symp toms. No matter what stage it bas reached. Dr. Pifrcoii Golden Iffaaieal IMaeoverjr will subdue it, if taken according to dicee- Uons for a reasonable length of time. If not. cured, complications multiply and Consump tion of the Lungs, Skin Diseases, Heart Disease^ Rheumatism, Kidney Disease, or other grave. or later, induce a fatal termination. Dr. fierce'a Golden RKedleal Ms* cover j acts powerfully upon the Liver, anA through that great blood-purifying organ,, cleanses the system of all blood-taints and in- purities, from whatever cause arising. It ia. equally efficacious in acting upon the Kid- neys, and other excretory organs, cleansing, strengthening, and healing their diseases. A» an appetizing, restorative tonic. It promote* digestion ana nutrition, thereby bufldln both tlesh and strength, li this wonderful medicine celebrity in curing Fever I Fever, Dumb Ague, and 1 Dr. Pierce's Goldc eovorjr OURES ALL HUMORS. oin a common Blotch, or Kruptlon. to aft Fever ing up from worst Serofuia. Salt-rheum, ver-aoraa. powerful, purifying, and invigorating medi- " oers rapidly beal under Especially has :unng Tetter, 1 Scaly or Hough Skin, in short, all caused by bad blood are conquered by irifying, and invi« cm<\ Great Eating Ulcers rapii its benijrn influence. ~ f**t«Hl its potency in _ _ __ Erysipelas, Boils, (\irbunctc£Sore Eyea, Scrof ulous Sores and Swelling Hip-joint Diaeasat White Swellings," Goitre, or Thick Neck, and Enlarged Glands. Send ten oenta In, stamps for a largv Treatise? with colored! dates, on Skin Diseases, or the same amouofc or a Treatise on Scrofulous Affectkma. "FOR THE BLOOD IS THE LIFE.** Thoroughly cleanse it by using Dr. Plere>% Golden Ifledical Dfacovery, and good digestion, a fair skin, buoyant spirits, vital strength aud bodily health will be established* CONSUMPTION, which is Scrotal* or the Lungs, is arrectad and cured by this remedy, if taken in tiw\ earlier stages of tho disease. From ita mar- velous power over this terribly fatal rtisrssn, when first offering- this now world-famed reia« edy to the public. Dr. Pierce thought seriously of calling it his "CONSUMPTION CCTUC," BUT abandoned that name as too restrictive for medicine which, from its wonderful bination of tonic, or strengthening, alterative or blood-cleansing, anti-bilious, pectoral, ana properties, is unequaied. not only eay for Consumption, but for Ml > Disease* of the Liver, Blood, and Lungi For Weak Lungs. Spitting of Blood, Short, neas of Breath, chronic Nasal Catarrh, Bruo- chitls. Asthma, Severe Coughs, and kindred affections, it is an efficient remedy. 8old by Druggists, at $1.00, or Six BotttaS .oo. Send ten cents in stamps for Dr. Pieros&l book on Consumption. Address, TF World's Dispwu) ••died issochtiMi 663 Statu S«~ BIIISLO, N.« WHY WORK FOR ANOTHER, or on smaB salary* Why continue workinjr on a worn-out farm? Wliy trv to secure % living from such high-priced or heavily tuori- gat:o 1 farms? Why work on rent«<l laud'.* Wh*^, not .-cart for yourself? Why uot secur* at on seme of the low-price.! but very fertile w ell-located lands adjacent to ratlrvada nov |« be otitaiued by tliose going to Northern 1 al ami Minnesota, where you can malte a lttOQ net profit per acre than ou the hisb-j nefti^ wuru-oat lanil you now occupy v* why uot. and look the situation over, aud see for J"® self, or at least obtain further itifortna: flesh whirfc will be sent free, if you will aftlrk - j C. H. WABRBM, (lea. *ass. Agt., EVL * . Minn. sic • ' auTitHi C. N. V . Wgu WRITING TO ADV.