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McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 18 Jan 1888, p. 7

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m-, ? u \ > r* *' ̂ "1 £ "&&. K.-* /}'• -A / Vf - v x ^ <*>-«"' "-.jc f ;r* * *. * •« ^TRwr?-.-ay*'-*:r-STi i' • >7- * r.*;,;;*.', -'-A *«sssi:i„.. „. V*+' * i < f ' f i , laniMcffl of public m. BY BXK : PKBXiBT POOBK. or hemp; but lie, as a ride, awallo-wB neither; firstly, becanso he regards tliem with as much moral antipathy as # IBmes change and dinners Aug* English gentleman, and fondly; •with them, af was seen by comparing ke°au*® h® f"? & '**? *££* £ theacooants of President Cleveland's ; ^ wbwh * last State dinner with one givea by ! *™^her° e!ser w* President Washington. I have copied II from the manuscript diary kept by , ?.°r amm,al *at- «» ®nT expensive gram William Maclay, a Senator from the 1*« ffoo.l wheat but lives on millet or State of Pennsylvania in the First "ma!1 noe» »Jlittle m, k, with the but- Federal Congress! He was the original ter from milk, and the vegetables he J"objector," and he made himself very ! K1"0*8- Even of these he eats more disagreeable to President Washington I ®P**ingly *ban the poorest Tuscan. * wuP his supporters. One day j °nce » quarter, perhaps he will eat after Washington had met the j enough during some fesltival, but, as Senate, he says: "I was called I a TaX*> h? knows accurately'what will out by the doorkeeper to speak 8n.8|ai7 ^l™» a?*^ would be enraged to Coi. Humphreys. It was to invite : Wltb the wife who cooks for him, if she me to dinner with the President on PrePar®d more. He is assisted m thia Thursday next at 4 o'clock. I really I economy by a religious nale which is was surprised at the invitation. It will undoubtedly, like the rule against kill- be my duty to go; however, I will make 1D8 oxen» a survival from a military law URCOLlFg TEACHEB. » no inferences whatever. I am con- jt vinced all the dinners he can now give, or ever oould, will make no difference in my couduct." Then we have his ac­ count of the dinner: "The President and Mrs. Washing­ ton sat opposite each'other in the mid- i. die of the table; the two secretaries, or custom of the most remote antiquity. --Spectator. The Deacan's Snake Story. Taylor Strickland of Cumming, Ga., ' the negro who killed the horned snake some time ago, killed another a few days ago, evidently a mate to the first, and near the same place. It measured one at each end. It was a great dinner, aVu n®« l"e y™- " and the best of the kind ever I was at. nm,e feofc- had ?pbull*IJ,f n°*rlZ First was soup; fish, roasted and boiled; i as i^ge as a calf s, and had a four-inch meats, gammon, fowl, etc. The mid­ dle of the table was garnished in the usual tasty way with small images, arti­ ficial flowers, etc. The dessert gwas, / first, apple pies, puddings, etc.; then ice-cream, jellies, etc.; then water­ melons, muskmelons, apples, peaches, nuts. It was the most solemn dinner ever I sat at. Not an health drunk, aoare a word said till the cloth was taken away. Then the President, tak­ ing a glass of wine with great formality, drank to the health of every individual name round the table. Everybody Imitated him, charged glasses, and such a buzz of 'health, sir,' and 'health, madam,'and 'thankyou, sir,' and 'thank yon, madam,' never had I heard before. I* Indeed, I had liked to have been thrown out in the hurry; but I got a little wine in my glass and passed the ceremony." Mr. Maclay goes on to tells us that "the ladies sat a good while and the - bottles passed about, but there was a dead silence almost. Mrs. Washington at laBb withdrew with the ladies. 1 ex­ pected the men would now begin, but the same stillness remained. The Presi­ dent told of a New England clergyman who had lost a hat and wig in passing a driver called the Brunks. He smiled, and everybody laughed. He now and then snid a sentence or two on some common subject, and what he said was not amiss. There was a Mr. Smith who mentioned how Homer described * JEneas as leaving his wife and carrying his father out of flaming Troy. He had heard somebody (I suppose) witty on the occasion; but if he had ever read it, he would have said Virgil. [It does not appear that Washington, Adams, * J%y, or any other of the magnates pres­ ent, detected the blunder. ] The Presi­ dent kept a fork in his hand when the t#cloth was taken-away, I thought for the purpose of picking nuts. He- ate no nuts, but played with the fork, strik­ ing on the edge of the table with it. We did not sit long after the ladies retired. The President arose, went up-stairs to drink coffee, the company followed. I took my hat and came home." Ex-Representative A. Herr Smith, ^ of Pennsylvania, and his private Seere- "'Cary, were looking over the Congress­ man's mail one day, when the Secretary |V, observed the words "cornet band" in * one of the letters. "You're expected to give something for the new brass band," he said to Mr. Smith. A more careful reading of the letter, however, {>roved that he was mistaken. The etter writer stated that he had jtist been elected Financial Secretary of the "Rothville Cornet Band," of Rothville, Pa. He reminded the Congressman that of la! e years the newspapers had been filled with accounts of financial secretaries whose accounts had become involved and who had thereby got themselves into troubla He was anxious to do right and dreaded being held up for the scorn of the world as an unfaithful officer. He would there­ fore, respectfully urge his Congress­ man t° send him by return mail tbe most perfect model of official account ^keeping. . Mr. Smith left the matter entirely in the hands of his Secretary, who pro­ cured copies of tbe official reports of > Secretary Folger, Treasurer Wvman, and Register Bruce, which he forwarded to the Financial Secretary of the Roth- ville Cornet Band, assuring him that they were the examples of the manner in which the greatest financial accounts of the a?e were kept, and further assur­ ing him that if he would carefully read ^ them through and follow their methods, he would have no trouble with the ac­ counts of the Rothville Cornet Band, and would be able at the close of his term of service to point with pride to an unstained record of official in­ tegrity. President Lincoln said once that the best story he ever read in the papers of himself was this: Two Quakeresses were traveling on the railroad, and were heard discussing the probable termina- tion of the <wrar. "I think," said the first, "that Jefferson will succeed." "Why does thee think so ?" asked the otlgsr. "Because Jefferson is a praying man." "And so is Abraham a praying man," objected the second. "Yes, but L the Lord will think Abraham is joking," the first replied, co nclusively. liindoo Abstemiousness. • J:' There is no abstemiousness in tbe «• irorld, and no thrift, like the thrift and abstemiousness of the average native of India. Almost alone among the work- has raised horn on the end of its taiL An old darkey standing by when the descrip­ tion was given, said: ' - "Dat was'er mighty small snake of its kind. I killed one down the Chatta­ hoochee bottom dat mezered thirteen feet un er horn seven inches. It had deadened all de timber on bof sides er river fu'rz yo' could see. I 'low dat was a biggest snake ever foun' in dis State." "Humph! Yer knows might little 'bout snakes ef yo'dinks dat," said an­ other white-haired old darky, who looked disgusted at such a weak recital of reptile stories. "I kill er snake one time down in South Georgia what wa9 fifteen feet long un bigger 'roun' en my body; it ies' eat all de hogs en chickens en young calves in de settlement. One day it cum to de skool-hxmse door un look in at de winder, un dat skool was de quickes' absolved yo' eber did see. Atter dat all de wliite folks un niggers turned out wid guns un dogsunsarched till dey found him. He was tryin' ter drag an old ox he'd kil'd down inter an old well w'en dey shot him." "Dar wuz or" black snake run dis nigger one time," remarked another darky who had been an attentive lis­ tener to the foregoing tales; "I wus fisliin' in the Hightower,. 'n havin' mighty good luck, when I see er long poleer sorter fioatin'downstream. Well, dat didn't caision no notice; I jis fish on, but purty soon dat pole stick his head up right dar under me, 'n golly! it wur no pole, it wur a snake wid er head long es my arm. I jes' jump back erbout fifteen feet 'n started cross fields and fences wid dat snake lookin' over my shoulder all 'e time; he' sort a turn up his head az if axin' why I didn't run. He teas me dat way erbout four mile, 'n I happen to run pas' er big sycamore tree, un er snake wur so bizzy lookin' up in my face he didn't notis de tree, un jis run right up to de top. When I look back dar he wuz, his head pintin' straight up, waitin' fo' me ter come down." "Is yon member aw de chu'ch, sonny?" asked the first old darky. "Yes, sail; l'se er deacon. Why?" "Kaae dar wur some featers in dat narrativ' dat seemed kind er 'jection- able. But if you's er deacon I know in cours it's right,"--Atlanta Constitu­ tion. Strange Story Revealed br a Locket. One of the daintiest and most roman­ tic little facts that have come to light in a long time is reported to have been related by Mrs. Steele Mackaye. Some thirty years ago, as it is told, a young man who earned a living as private tu­ tor wa? much attached to two of his pupils--one a boy, the other a girl-- who lived in different towns. The tu­ tor kept a portrait of his favorite boy pupil in a locket, which he one day showe;! to hist favorite girl pupil. She, naturally, became interested in the pretty boy whose picture only she hac seen. After a time the tutor playfully betrothed the two--and even lent the picture-locket to the girl who wore it round her neck. The lad, too, used tc talk with his tutor about his "little wife," but somehow they were never brought together. The tutor was drowned one day and the little gir] kept the locket. Now comes the poetry of the story. Years afterward/a man and his wife were traveling on the continent. One morning in their chamber in Paris the lady, while tumbling over the contents of her jewel-box, incidentally showed the keepsake to her husband. "Where did you get this?" he asked in surprise. "It is a portrait of myself. I gave it to my old tutor when I was a child." The lady thereupon related the cir­ cumstances connected with her posses­ sion of tiie memento. The surprise of both of them may be imagined, and every reader of the pretty story (which is not tictitious)-may embellish it with whatsoever beauties fancy can conjure up. The lady and .gentleman in that chamber in Paris were M?. and Mrs. Steele Mackaye.--Detroit Free Press. 4'Toddj Drawers." The drink called "toddy" is the juice extracted from the cocoanut palm, and is collected in ear^herware pots called "chatties," into which the sap runs dur­ ing the night from an incision made in the spathe. In the morning the "toddy drawer," connecting his two feet by a piece of rope, swarms up the trunk of the tree with which ho intends com­ing-men of the world, he ^, himself nearly abeve wants,has stripped j mencing operations, and having reached " himself of all the impediments of j tlie iofty summit he empties the con- luxury. Millions of men in India, es­ pecially on the richer soils and in the river deltas, live, marry, and rear ap­ parently healthy children, upon an in­ come which, even when the wife works, Sb rarely above two shillings a week, and frequently sinks to eighteen pence. The Indian is enabled to do this not so orach by the cheapness of food--for, though it is cheap, a European who ate the same food won Id want five times the money merely to feed himself--as by a habit of living which makes him teats of the chatty into a vessel at­ tached to his waist. In order to save himself the fatigue of descending each tree and ascending the next in succes­ sion he passes from one to another by means of two ropes, on one of which his bare teet rest, while with his hands he holds on to the other. These ropes, in course of time, became untrustworthy from exposure to weather and have to be occasional I y changed. B ut too often the unfortunate rope-walker, grown careless by long immunity from acci- independent of the ordinary cares of i jentf neglects to renew hisv perilous mankind. He goes nearly without <elotlies, gives his children none, and presses his wife in a long piece of the most wretched mnslin. Neither he nor his wife pay tailor or milliner one shill­ ing during their entire lives, nor do they ever purchase neodles or thread, * which, indeed, it is 'contrary to a semi- religious etiquerte ever to use. The poorer peasant inhabits a hut ^ _ containing a si-igle covered room of the ! *A^the Year Round. smallest size, with an earthen platform or two outside it, and as he constructs and repairs his own building- he virtu­ ally pays no rent, except for the cul- turable land. He never touches alco- or any substitute for it. There is u idea in England that he eats opium bridge and the snapping of either rope causes his death. VVere the lower rope io break there might still be hope of clinging to the other and so working his-way along; but, should the upper one brake, obviously there is little chance of saving himself, even though the other remain sound. From this comes the proverb, "If the supporting rope breaks one's mainstay is gone."-- The first agricultural society in the United States was formed by South Carolina planters in 1784, and is yet iu existence. Tbe Philadelphia society followed in 17U1, and the Maesaehnsebts in 1792. of the Martyred fMfeldMt fey Uncle Billy Greene. Every man whoever dabbled in Illi* nois State politics knows him or has heard of him. To these and to those who knew him in his active business life he is known as "Slicky Bill" Green. Young men addressed him as "Uncle Billy" Green, and the poetic Ed Lanning, of Petersburg, calls him the "Prophet of Menard." He is called "Slicky Bill" because no sharper, shrewder business man or politician ever lived in Illinois. He is called "Uncle Billy" because he is an old man. Ed Lanning calls him the "Prophet of Menard" because in him is nearly all the history of the country; because he is a prominent figure in old Salem's history, and because in Abra­ ham Lincoln's early manhood Greene was closer to him than any other man and had more influence with him. He, more than any other individual, made Lincoln's first election to the Presi­ dency possible, for he followed Greene's political advice when he would not lis­ ten to other men. He was the friend and confident of Lincoln in his early manhood. Greene was sharp, aggress­ ive and successful and Lincoln had faith in his judgment in all thinga Greene, on the other hand, stood won­ dering in the presence of Lincoln's greatness--to him apparent from their earliest acquaintance. Greene says of Lincoln: "Always, from the first time I saw him, I thought him the greatest man that ever lived, and I know it now." It was to Greene that Lincoln con­ fided his secret sorrows and his hopes. It was Greene who, at night in the grocery store at Harlem, held the little grammar while Lincoln recited his lessons. When President Lincoln, at a ban­ quet at the White House, presented William G. Gr«Sene to William H Seward, Mr. Seward bowed grandly from across the banquet table and said: "I am pleased to meet you, Mr. Greene." "Oh, come around here, Seward, and shake hands with Greene," said Presi­ dent Lincoln; "he is the man who taught me grammar." Mr. Greene says he is not entitled to this distinction. "Lincoln committed the whole grammar to memory," he says, "and I simply looked on the book to see that he didn't miss a word while he recited it. When Lincoln tackled a proposition he knew it all before he quit it; and when he got through with that grammar he knew more about grammar than the man who wrote the book."--Chicago News. Modest Hem * The truth is this is no kind of » world for quiet, peaceable, steady, humble, modest men. You may think there aren't any, but there are. I am not saying that they are plentiful. 1 am not saying that they are to ba found lying around loose, inviting attention. No, but there are such men. You may not have expected to find them, and you know one always doubts the exist­ ence for a moment of what he does not expect. Perhaps it may be a discovery. But anyway there's nobody so thor­ oughly to be sympathized with as the humble, meek, modest man who only asks to be allowed to live his own life and be let alone. I guess it must be because he is so rare an animal that everybody immediately takes to him and makes a great deal of him, until he ends by being a conceited ass and loses himself in the vast mass of con­ ceited asses. I heard a fellow once give his own version of a little trouble he had had. In fact, from what he said I understood that he had been ar­ retted and fined for a little fight he had. He was a small fellow, and his an­ tagonist was about six feet four and a fighter. "Look at me," the little fellow said. "Do I look like a quarrelsome man ? Well I ain't. I goes my own way peaceable and quiet, and never inter- ferin' with anybody's business, and they fined me tor assaultin' a man six feet four. Why, I couldn't get up to him--if I could I'd have battered the life out of him, you bet. I was in the saloon when this tall fellow began bnl- lyin' me. I'm the most harmless man livin'. I wouldn't hit a boy, I wouldn't, He began bully in' me. Well, I says, look here, I'm a quiet, law abidin' man. You want to fight, I see. I ain't goin' to fight. I called you a liar? Maybe, I did. But you oan hit me if you like. I ain't agoin' to fight, an' I call you fellows to witness ne did the fightin'. 'You called me a liar,' says the man, 'an'I'm goin' to lick you, do you hear?' *1 hear you', says I; 'I hear you; an' I calls them fellers to witness, for 111 have you arrested, an' they'll prove as I didn't fight' 'Then," said the little man, "I hit him between the eyes and on the nose and under the chin, an' I bunged him all up, an' he calls a po­ liceman, has me took up an' all them fellers goes down an' swears I hit him first. Circumstantial evidence ain't worth a cuss anyway,"--San Francisco Chronicle, A Wood Chute. One of ths most interesting sights I ever saw in my life, says a correspond­ ents, is the wood chute at the Home- stake Mine. This mine has a railroad twenty-two miles long to the pineries where fuel is obtained, and the road ends at the top of a high hill just above the mill. Here the wood is dumped into a chute made of heavy logs lined with iron. The logs descend with tre­ mendous velocity, and on reaching the mouth of the chute leap out into the air, pass over the mill and land some 250 feet from the bluff. For hours a perfect stream of logs 'passes over the heads of the men at work below, and to a newcomer it seems sufficiently danger­ ous, but no accident ever occurred, and one soon gets over the nervous feeling. Five thousand cords of wood are piled ait a time by the arrangement, which saves tens of thousands of dollars annu­ ally to the company, disposing of 80.- 000 cords p year without any cost of piling '2, A Mighty Obelisk. An obelisk was recently erected in Oakwood Cemetery, Troy, which can be seen for many miles up and down the Hudson. It is a granite shaft made out of the solid rock of an island off the wast of Maine. The obelisk was towed » distance of 500 miles, whence it was moved on rollers for a distance of two miles. The obelisk is sixty feet long rod weighs one hundred tons. Owing to the novel methods of engineering ased in its transportation and erection (he entire cost of these two items did aot exceed $<5,0t)0. The contract price for the obelisk was $50,000, which in- sluded its erection.--New York .Com­ mercial Advertiser. The name "Sick Man," by which Turkey is often referred to, was applied to that oountry by the Czbx Nicholas, January 14» 1864, "ALL KATXOH9WITHE8SS&" n§ W--wilful Mistakes of gelwitto>i h« Kducators. "Frove all thinga" aeema to be the guiding maxim of u>« peopi* ot uiu a#* 'JUu* vooid i>j mi rtgut, wero it not for the *kaow-»ii»" iu every community, who ar* sure Una every uitrotiuoer of a new lUea is a "crank," and that every new iavention u "utterly impracticable.a . 'lne astonishing faot is that in thia class educated an and eoteattsta an (coid. la the day* of Ueorge tttephnneon, tha pertec- tor of the locomotive engine, ths ecienuats proved oobgInaively that a railway tra>a could never be dny«n by eteam power suo- ceeeluUy without peril; but the rushing ex­ press trains all over the world ahow how uua- taken they were. 'Ihere went up a guft.w of laughter at Professor Xoree'e propo»it,on to maae the lightning of heaven hie errand boy, and it was proved conclusively that the thiug could never be done; but now tU the newa wf the wide world by Associated Fress, put in your hands every morning and night, has mada all nations witnesses. liev. Dr. Talmage in one of his sermons says: If ten men should oome to you when you are aick with appalling sickness, and say they bad the same sickness and took a oertam medicine, and it cured them, yon would prob­ ably take it Mow, suppose ten other men should come up and say, "We don't babeve there ia anything in that medicine." "Well," 1 say, "have yon tried it?" "No, I never tried it ; but I don't believe there is anything in it." Of course yon discredit their testimony. Tha skeptic may come and say, "There ia no power iu your religion." "Have you ever tried it?" "No, no." "Then avaunt!" Let me take ths testimony of the millions of souls that have been converted to God, and comforted in trial, and solaced in the last hour. We will tate their testimony as they cry "We are wit­ nesses!" The proprietors of Warner's safe cure hare received over 10,000 voluntary testimonials to the efficacy of that medicin& Theeo have come from almost every civilized country, and they may fairly claim it has made all nations witnesses. The evidence comes from all classes. The highest medical authorities, like Dr. Robs on, late surgeon in the English navy, and Dr. Wilson, editor of "Hfcaltn," of Lonaou, Eng.; and clergymen of the highest reputation like Rev. Dr. Rankin, ex-cnainain or the U. ti Senate, and Dr. Rendrick, of the Rochester University, one of tbe international revisers of the New Testament, are among the pub­ lished witnesses. Hundreds of these testimonials have been and are being published. They ran be easily verified. A standing offer of #5,000 for proof that any one of them is not trne, so far as the proprietorskaow, is a fair guarantee of their genuineness. If a man is suffering from any one of ths ailments, of which there are so many, grow- ing out of kidney derangement, is it not more than foolish for him to refuse to try Warner's safe curs when thousands testify they have been cured by it? Think of it! The men who refuse to believe that any­ thing can be valuable because it is in conflict with old idsas and methods an the men who "get left" in this world and go before their time to try another. The Expense Account Book. I was only a girl of i8, with little knowledge and l«ss experience of the World at large, on my first journey alone. The destined point was my married sis­ ter's home, some hundred miles distant, the object pleasure and recreation. The holidays were at hand; the world was to give itself up to a week of enjoyment. I was glad in my heart that this was so, and that I was numbered among the fortunate ones who, freed from all tasks and re­ straint, project themselves into the bosom of some one else's family to be "waited on" as company. I settled myself close to the window of the posseuger coach, and plac­ ed my valise, lunch basket, shawl-strap, a Christmas toy or two, aud numerous other bundles in the unoccupied part of the seat. This, in accordance with the instruc­ tions of Aunt Cordelia and my prudish sister Cass, who had each iu turn insisted on this disposal of myself and my effects during my trip lest some horrid "drummer" should, without so much as "by your leave, lady," take possession of both during the trip. Having at last everything satisfac­ torily arranged I gave myself up to the contemplation of coming pleasures, and was lost in my surroundings. The sound of a man's voice recalled my wandering thoughts. "I beg pardon, but is this seat taken?*he inquired, pleasantly. Looking up, confused, of course, I at- nttempted to say it was occupied; but I fear > the expression on my face plainly evidenced j the untruthfulness of my statement,--fur- ' ther than it applied to the numerous par- 1 eels piled there. Giving a peculiar glance I at these he moved ou down the aisle. Ev I ery seat having two occupants (excepting mine), he deposited his valise on the coal- box and went into the smokiug-car ahead. { I felt too mean for anything, and sin­ cerely hoped 1 would never see him again. I was not only greatly disturbed at my ap- Cent lack of truthfulness, but having n so repeatedly warned by the whole family to beware of the drummer (and I was certain he was one), I felt a desire that he would not enter the car again--at least not until I had reached my destination. I After skimming along for some little time J at quite a rapid rate, the conductor came in^ calling "tickets;" and, oh, horror of hor­ rors! I immediately remembered Tom had not given me my ticket. My heart sank within me, for I had left out only change ; enough to pay tbe hackman and some "sundries" (an article usually found in a traveling man's expense account), and 1 knew, of course, 1 could not pay my fare I to Berkley, and, as I had no ticket, in all 1 probability, would be asked to get off at the next station, and then await further developments. I Before the conductor reached me. the door opened and my former interrogator appealed. I wished him miles away; but I no, nearer and nearer he came, till I was sure he'd hear every word of my mishap. However, I had not long to think of him, for I soon found myself stammering out an explanation to the conductor, who looked as if he hsd heard that story before, and consequently was not very much affected by it. He told me he would be compelled to put me off at the next station, as their orders were peremptory on such matters. How I wished Tom and Cass had attended strictly to their own business and not given me quite so much advice, but seen to giv­ ing me my ticket at the proper time. 1 resolved not to go one step to Berkley (wise conclusion), but telegraph Tom, as soon as I was put off, to come up after me, and assure him he could get two home- bound tickets at Christmas rates at the im­ portant by-station where I was stopping. But as time sped on, as well as the train, I began to wonder why 1 didn't get off, and ventured to stop the conductor to nsk him if we weren't very nearly to that sta­ tion. "Oh, that's ail right," said he; "never mind now." And--and--I actually went on to Berkley in no very amiable mood. Once there, however, I was ready to smile and forget everything, and but for one incident, should have been the hap­ piest of mortals. Dode and Fred met me at the depot, and soon my precious pyramid of packages were packed in the carriage and we were all jostling home in high glee, where the table was laid for supper, and where we very soon found ourselves after the neces­ sary ablutions. In the midst of our meal tbe bell rang, and Dode rushed to the door and was heard to exclaim: "Oh! Horace, what a surprise." In a few minutes she swung open the door with a flourish, as with great pride she said: "Hester, Miss Vane, allow me to make you acquainted with my brother Horaee, who is one of those horrid drummers we have been talking about." I thought I should die when I looked up, but never a sign of recognition came to nis eyes as he asked: "Have you been in Berkley long, Miss Vane; long enough to like it?" "No," I replied; "I just oame in to­ night." "Oh! Then you must have come up on the same train with me. Strange I didn't sqeyou." He smiled assuringly, and I was relieved. Two years later Horaoe and I were look­ ing over the accounts of the year, and won­ dering where we could economize a little more closely without dwarfisg our chanc­ ier, whan my eye caught this item in his it hook; "Dec. 281, $6.75; -'s fan to Berkley." "Why* Horaoe Mann," said I, excitedly, "what does this mean?* "Oh, that," said he, with an amused smile; "that means that two yean afco this Christinas week a little lady started to go to Berkley, with apparently everything in the world but her ticket, or money to pay her fan." "Now, not another word, Horaoe, or I'll make application for a divorce to-morrow. You an too mean for anything, to have de­ ceived me two whole years. --American Commercial Traveler. : Some Memorial Daft* Nov. 8--Bryant. f t; " 10--Goldsmith, Schillett "22--George Eliot. 4: " 29--Wendell Phillips, f bee. 9--Milton. vj " 17--Vihittk*. " 26--Gray. . •: Jan. 17--Frauklln. " 18--Webster. " 25--Burns. Feb. 12--Lincoln. - . " 22--Washington, Lowell. > >v" " 27--Longfellow. < ,. V April 3--Irving. ^ • s " 7--Wordsworth. . < i ^ J * 28--Shukspeare. . j May 26--Emerson. June 2--Saxe. tt 13--Thomas Arnold. M 14--Harriet Beecher Stowe. Oct 19--Garfield. ' ^ • 21--Coleridge. . > The Hew Price Stery is eagerly sought for, read with ideas un or disappointment, is then tossed satoe and for- Rotten. But lad es who read of Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription read it again, for they discover in it something te prise--« messenger of joy to those suffering from functional de­ rangements or aov of die painful disorders or weaknsstes peculiar to their sex. Periodical pains internal inflammation, and uloention readily yield to its wonderful cuntive and healing powers. It is the only medicine fer women sold by drugitista, under a potitivt guarantee from the manufacturers, that it will give saiisfaetion in every case, or money will be refunded. This guarantee has been pnnt- Thk quiet girl never WftiW tlfljti on the streets; you do not see her flaunt­ ing brilliant plaids, when they happen to be the style; when high hats are "in" she does not pile hers so high that it sweeps the cobwebs from the sky; she does not wear an exaggerated bang when the bang is in vogue, nor the biggest bustle in dfrim, nor the longest train to her tea gown, nor tbe greatest number ot bangles when bangles reign. But because she does not chatter and giggle and make henelf con­ spicuous in horse cars or at matinees, does not announce her oonvictions on all occa­ sions and all subjects, and profess her ad­ miration at every band's turn, it must not be supposed that she has no ideas or oon­ victions or enthusiasms; that she moves along like a star in the heavens, which obeys the laws of gravitation without selecting its course, or objecting to its orbit. She is quiet because she has no power to make herself heard, to change her conditions, or because she is maturing that power. In the meantime it is the quiet girl who marries earliest, who makes the best match, who fills the niches which her mon brilliant sisters leave vacant, who manages the servants, runs the sewing machine, remembers the birthdays, listens to the reminiscences of the old, and often keeps the wolf from the door. Remarkable Surgery. The science of surgery has made snoh won­ derful progress in modern timos that the most intricate and delicate operations are now un­ dertaken and carried to a snooesiful issue. There are now several well authenticated eases of what is known as pueumotony--that is to say, the removal of diseased portions of the luugs in cases of consumption. Wlule, how­ ever, this delicate operation has sometimes been successfully performed, the risks attend­ ing it an so great and the chances of recovery so slight that it is seldom resorted to. The safest plan in consumptive cases is to use Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery. This will always euro the disease in its earlier stages, thoroughly arresting the ravages of the ter­ rible malady by removing its cause, and heal­ ing the lungs. "" The old-time nticnle used by our grand­ mothers as a substitute for a pocket is now coming into fashion, and will prove a de­ sirable change from tbe hideous leather bag so universally carried in the present day. They are made to match the street costume, and are therefore generally in rich dark-colored velvets, Batins and bro­ cades. One made recently is of dark-blue velvet, with iiower pattern embroidered in iridescent glass beads on one sMe. On the other Bide the owner's initials are em­ broidered in shaded blue silks. Another of brown blush has a monogram ou each side, worked in gold chenille braid. The lining is ef gold-colored silk. Some of these reticules have a stiff under-lining; others are soft, and the shapes are square or round, as desired. The drawing strings are generally of thick cord, ending in tas­ sels; and they may be attached to the belt or carried on the arm or in the hand. "Y*s; I shall break the engagement," shs said, folding her arms and looking defiant; It is really too much trouble to converse with him; he's as deaf as a post and talks like he had a mouthful of mush Besides, the way he hawks and spits is disgusting." l)on t break the engagement for that; tell him to tako Dr. Bage's Catarrh IteiAody. It will cure him completely." "Well, 1'Jl tell him. I do hate to break it off, for in all other respects he's quite too charming." Of course it cured his catarrh The indiscretion of our first parents was a mighty good thing for tailors and dress­ makers. Delicate Children, Nursing Mothers, Overworked Men, and for all dis­ eases where the tissues are wasting away from the inability to digest ordinary food, or from overwork of the brain or body, alt such should take Scott's Emulsion of Pure Cod Liver Oil with Hypophosphitei "I used the Emulsion on a lady who was delicate and threatened with Bronchitis. It put her in fcuch good health and tlesh that I must say it is the beet Emulsion 1 ever used."--Ia P. Waoosu* M. D., Hugh's Mills, & G Thb ring of true patriotism most not be confounded with any of the Nev York po­ litical rings.--Sifting a. Cough* and Hoarseness.-The ir­ ritation which induces coughing immediately relieved by usa of "Brown'* Bronchial Troche*." bold only iu boxeu. It is not a difficult task to discover ran talent in young ladies whose parents an wealthy.--Texas Sifting*. A Michigan Central Railroad Employe Wins His Case After a Seven Tearp* Contest. Axsiok, Mich, Dm 1887. While employed &s agent of the Michigan Central Railroad Company at Augusta, Mich, about seven years ago, my kidneys became diseased, and I have been a great sufferer ever since. Have consulted the leading phy­ sicians of this city and Ann Arbor, and all pronounced my caoe Brigbt's disease. After taking every highly recommended remedy that I ha i kuowledge of, to no purpose, and while suffering under a very sever# attack in October last, began taking Hibbard's Rheu­ matic Syrup, and am to-day a well man. It affords me pleasure to render suffering hu­ manity any good that I can, and in speaking of the remedy, al'ow me to say that I think it the greatest medicine in the world. E. Labziubx, Agent M. CL B, B. This trouble with the big girl is that every pair of scales she steps on gives her a weigh. Texas OiJttnQs. Purify the Blood. do not claim that Hood's SarsaparlDa is the •sly medicine deserving public confidence, but we believe that to purify the blood, to restore and (•novate tbe whole system. It Is absolutely unequalled. Tbe Influence of the blood upon the health cannot be over-estimated. If it be­ comes contaminated, the train of consequences bj which the health is undermined is Immeasur­ able, Loss of Appetite, Low Spirits, Headache, Dyspepsia, Debility, Nervousness and other "little (?) aUmsnts" are the premonitions e< mots serious and often fatal results. Try Hood's Sarsaparilla Bold by all druggists. 81; six for 86. •aly by C. I. HOOD * CO., Lowell, lffssi IOO Doses One Dollar M ELY'S CREAM BALM Cleanses the head of CATARRHAL VIRUS, Allays Inflammation, HEALS the SORES. Restores the Senses ef Taste and Smell. Apply Balm into eaebnostriL KLY SBOSa ** awlsfcSt,*.* edon ihe bottle-wrapper, sad faithfully cur­ ried out for many yearik Nikb theaters in London an managed hy women. It is safe to asy that then ate no flies on them. Consumption Surely Cured. To the Editor: -Please inform your readers that 1 have a positive remedy for the above- named disease. By its timely nse thousands of hopeless cases have been permanently cured. I Shall be glad to send two bottles of my remedy FlUCB to any of your readers who have ooqsump­ tion if tney will send mo their Kxprsss aud P. O. address. Rospectfullv, T. A. 8LOCUM. M. C.. 181 Pearl 8t. X. T. A woman's rites are usually dedicated to a male god.--Netc Haven A'etra. ""MAM BEASt Mexican Mustan P I S 0 S C U R E F O R C Q N S U M P T ! O N GOLD is worth t'40 per pound. Pettifa Eyr Halve ai.00 >, but is sold at S cents a oos by dealem. MKHTIOM WUS MM w-- wasn-- -- isnswm enrn A MONTH. Afrests wanted. 30 beststll A/nll his articles in tbe world. 1 s.mple KKKK. <PtwU Address JAY B HON SON. Detroit. u!ch. MXNTION THB PAFOt The Lumber esan needs It la case < The Rssiswtfe needs It for general family i The Meehaale seeds tt always The Mlaerneedsttiu« The Pteueer seeds tt tent get along wttl>- 3Ut it. The Fsnsw needs tt la his boose, Ms staMfc . rod his stock yard. The Steambaat man arthe BeaChMus assSlK' It In liberal supply afloat and sshflK • 4" The Heree-fancler needs it--it Is friend and safest reliance. „ The B»eek-«*owe* needs It-It wfll save htMl' , # " thousands of dollars and a world of trouble. . • to 8oldiers and Beira. L 1UM . i'/J HAM. Att'y. Washington D.Ct _• • -• -3ft thb ran* »» FREE! By return mail. Full Description Moody's New Tailor System ofDress ~ ttinK. MOODY a 00. Cincinnati. O. H| MTPCMTP© R. 8. ft A. P. Laokt. Pstent PI I PH I lh Attoraeys.Waahlngton.D.C. • ww m jmww w W Instructions and opinions as to patentaMlitv FREK. SV17 years'experience. •••••••••••••••Sars relief s asnnii KIBOHrePiWTilLtth&^K j8jMpBBMjMSSiBMSSM>arts«town.Mss^ liBMTlOK THlfe fAflkA wu»« wan-ma to iwiimw Bines'Pitent Foot Power UicHfitrj Workers or Wood or Metal, vitWfct sewOT, kj rla| oxtSt* o Itbsse XuUsw.oiS Ullmr.tM nnam mm; ma iMrirt»ttssl;u; Mttr mnu f*r Ms| (Mr work. AIM: »r lUaxtrial BeMliar Sas Tribhg, With tkca Wn ou aeqvtrt praMtad inrntaw) • imhstskn Mr"|«f« ttwwluv" file UstCwaWfr--fns. W. F. & JOHN BARNES CO., K3.6SS.lato 8t.loekfcrd.in. H •newjnvention* XBmZ "-J- -• •-- 1 k* aee «S SaUv. "SmUT . LIWSRARIM * ' fx c«rt» or httk km bm •ssjlne Un M*d lui vWrnnrvanui VM< Chmsr ntr. ID* *.?W SACS Fill Your OmTesthvttk Silver. For $i jo we will send, i directions, sad material t AQEHT8 WAMTCDMSFL^Z'̂ 'AITERNS. tor making Rugs, diesVcaps. Mittens, ete. Ichihe eeat by mail for §1. Send for late redocertprtoe-llft. B. BOSS ft OuVToledo. Ohio. UDYMOTS r̂m-S employment st |K to tioe per month selliiur QueenCllty 8ep- °Buspeader Oo„ U E. Ninth bt* Cincinnati. O. Fresh, rslisble. only S sad 3 cents per large paeksce. IMS i Novelty Pieesnts for my eua- _ tamers. Mammoth Seed Farms 1 One arcs oTsoBd glass. BeauUful IUu*tr«t#d Qapdsn ttuide Faxx. H. W. BIJCKBKK, Kookftord SeeS Parm. Kocktord. lU. C U R E F I T S ! n I say ourel do not mean merely to etoptVni means When for a time and then have them return again. 1 mc radical cure. 1 have made the disease of FITS, KPI- 1JLPHY or FALLING 8I0KNK88 a life IfcnR study. I warrant my remedy to cure the worst esses. Because others have failed is no reason for not now receiving a cure. Send at once for a treaties and a Free Bottte ot infallible remedy. Give Express and Post Office. WT.lLOn 1SS Pearl St.. New York. KO( NORTHERN PACIFIC IlLOWMICEMIUIOMUMSe FREE Government LANDS. nrutuion OF ACSSS o(Wh in Wwasesta. north Dakota, Montana. Idaho, Waiihlnjrton and Orwron. •Clin CAB Publications^with aspsdsseriMnsPthe wCHIf rVli BIST Afrtewltnrai, erasing and Tim. K I Q D E R ' 3 A SURE CURE FOR INDIGESTION and DYSPEPSIA. Over 8,000 Physicians have sent us their approval of PIGESTFLTN, SQvlnr ' " that, it is the best preparation -- have ever used. ' a case of Dyspepaia where taken that wss not . savins that,: for Indigestion that they ha We have never he ird of a DlttESTYLIN was taken ths FOR CHOLERA INFANTUM. IT WILL CORK TBE MOOT AGGRAVA' IT WILL STOP VOMrriNO IN PREGNANCY. IT WILL BELIEVE OONSTIPATiON. For Bummer Oomplsinta and Chronic Diarrhea, which are the direct results of imperfect digestion, DIGESTYLIN will effect an immediate cure. Take DUiKSTYLIN for all pains and disorders of the Ktomsch; they all come from Indigestion. Ask your druggist for DIOESTYJUN (price $1 per large bottle). If he does not have it, send one dollar te us and we wfll send a bottle to you, express prepaid. Do not hesitate to send your money. Our house is relisble. Established twenty-fire years. WE F. K1DDKR * CO., Manufacturing; Chemists, 83 John St., M. I MENTION THIS FAPI* wan mKtmm w iiihisim STEKETEE'S DryBitters! Make your own Bitters Wh; com 'a Dollar for a bottle of Stomach Bitten, lining more poor whiskey than medicine, I send anyone ever used. Ths use of this Tonic has cured INDIGESTION. DYSPEPSIA, FKVER and AGUE; ae an appetiser none better; acts on the Kidneys and ceneral debility, and gives Tone to the Stomach; in fact I challenge alloth?r Tonics. It is far the cheapest Tonic known. One pack­ age will equal one doeen bottles ot ordinary Bit­ ters sold at One Dollar per bottle Full direct!- tions on every package. Ask tout Druggtet for " STEKETEE'S IDRYBITTkRS." IfySurdrug- gistdoesnot keep them on sale, then send to the undersigned. I will send one package to any ad­ dress within the U. S. on receipt of SSeTu. 8. GEO, O. 8TIKETEE, Orand Rapids. Mich. Use STEKETBE'8 PIN WORM DEOTROYEB, sure cure. Price 85 cents. '.V' m JHSWAMM OW XM1TANOM8. JUMATB ASK job 2>Jt NMMCWM raxnfc as ZXTTLM BV&AM-COATXD POCA Betas entirely vegetable* they ep» erate without d«urhanoeT» the system, diet. m i WL BtHos . . Olnlseaa, Coast! ra­ tion, Indlnatloi. Blllane Attaeka,andtO Iea4aelae, derangements of the stom­ ach and bowefc, are prompt­ ly relieved and permanently Pierce?* PleasantPaiyatlwe PellejMh In explanation of the remedial power of thens Pellets over so great a variety, of diseases/It may truthfully be said that their action upoa the system is universal, not a gland or thm escaping their sanative influence. Sold fay druggtsta, 25 cents a vlal._Manuflactnred at tie Chemical Laboratory of Wouu>'s DnPBMAS* Medical A snoot amok, Bufltlo, N. T. HoHB is offered by the mnuftwtufb en of Or. sage?* Catarrh Heaaetj, for • 'case of Chronic Nasal Gatarrh whiea they cannot cure. nriSPTCKS OF CATABBH.--Dull. heavy headache, obstruction of the ami passages, discharges falling from the bead Into the throat, sometime* profuse, watery, and acrid, at others, thick, tenacious, mucous, purulent, bloody and putrid: the eye* are weak, watery, and inflamed; were is ringing in the ears, deafness, backing or cough ley to clear the throat, expectoration of offensive matter, together with scabs from ulcers; voice is ehsnged and has a nasal twpng; breath is offensive; smell and taste ne paired; there is a sensation of d' mental depression, a hacking coi erai debility. Only a few of the i symptoms are likely to be : -X*, v $ • Thousands present In anyone annually, without ove symptoms, re­ sult in consumption, and end in the grave. No disease is so common, more deceptive **4 ^nrtood by physicians, and healing jMropertiel manifesting half of the above a^rmgtoms, te is so" common, mors «, or less understood b nild. soothing, and heal casescS6Catarrla."cold In tbe lie Csryca* and Catarrhal Headache. Sold by druggists everywhere; 60 cent*. **tTntol4 Agony frona Catarrh/* Prof. W. Hadbner, the famous mesmerttli* of lthaea.N. F., writes: " 8ome ten yean ago I suffered untold agony from chronic nasal catarrh. My family physician gave me tip as inciirable, and said I must die. My esse waa such a bad one, thst every day. towards i arse I o , >- Vi [OOQkl •uvo m uwu vuv, i»u«% cic*/ w^a w set, my voice would become so nc barely speak above a whisper. In tbe morning my coughing and clearing ot my throat wouM almost strangle me. By the use of Dr. 8age£ Gatarrh Remedy, in three months, I wss a ra man, aud the cure has been permanent." "Constantly Hawking and WttlBt^ not Pint t r « • breath*, and and spitting, and f oould not breathe i a great suffers# years. At times I couM d was constantly hawking for the last eight month* i through the nostril*. I thought nothing could bo cone forme. Eucfc» ily, I was advised to try Dr. Sage's Catarrh Bemedy, and I am now a well man. I believe It to be the only sure remedy for catarrh no' » has only to give it astounding i -- r, anu x am now a weu ma the only sure remedy for catarrh now manufactured, and one has only 1 fair trial to experience a permanent cure." Three Bottle* Ous < Su Bobbins. Runt/on P. O.. OUamMa i Pa., says: "My daughter had catarrh wl she was five years old. very badly. I saw Dr. Sage's Catarrh Remedy advertised, and pro­ cured * bottle for her, and soon saw that-it helped her; a third bottle effected a peraM^ nent cure. She is now eighteen years old and sound and hearty." this terrible diseMft. JB practice for years, sad NE1 . . , idea now with his own hands to insure po»- " emicaliy pure, high-grade r ctur " Cures Neuralgia, Toothache, Nndache, Catarrh, Croup, Sore Throat, . RHEUMATISM. Laa» Back, Stif Joints, Sprains, Brofoes, Burnt. Wounds, Old Sores and .All Aches and Pains. The many testimonials received by ns more thaa prove all we elalat for tbls valuable remedy. It not only relieves the most .severe palna, .hut It Curat Ym. That's Hi« ra«a! Bold by Druggists. •• eta. BONO BOOK mailed fre*. Address WIZARD QIL COMPANY CHICA6& CATABRH Can Bs Cared. . Yes, sir; and it isn't necessary to go to ftl.ttriwdf or Florida to sccomplisb it either. I>R. GAhrS CATAKBH CUREis a gjXKEspecMc for thecal "tailed! uonnded now witn ms own.hauds t iy that cben t in its inanuli i exhausted by nsinr some, qa auuef the ass- 18 SO 1 Artrely advertised, but let it revive in M of this, for it is a sure specific. YOU may aot a* artlu'ted in this regard; it not, please recostuead it tu Home on - who is. and thus confer a favor at bom ends of the line. Tbe moat obstinate, painful lug- readily yield to its curative power, recommended upon its merit*. Movalnala titk-a(es of cure, no picturing " the dis. ase. or un Increase its sale, j cure you. otherwise Jit Is perfectly aa<e. acriaeable, aud easily aa> plted. One pickage will do the work. Don't deceive yourself or allow others to dsqaiva yon by telliwyoait is too hieh priced. SI'lIKIOl-S arliees are OKAR at my price--OKNt'IJfll AJBr Tit LBS ara CHEAP at any eric*. Vr. C*dy"S Catarrh Cure is UKKDINK. and is worth Ra times the price. Sent with lull dnr.-tions, bv rstwia mail, to any address in tbe St or Cswathgb pon receipt of <2.00. Dru<2i*ts not allowed to lnnriWj A. y. CONNOLLY. Sole AiiwatT"/^ X71 Franklin >t., Chicago, XUU It I* 4 # ; 5 4'. Cr * * " * "ri -- iV r C.K.U. No. VLTHBN writing to aovekti t please say yua aaw tae iathlsi 4y iirEis??!!!! BBSS9 WIS) Î Buadradlol garSeoMsgta Wk that by sowing ear •--as Uwy aisde Has per acr> om early C»>lis|iyO*% EABLY VEGETABLES OUR SPECIALTY. fre* m Faekagss tartlsst Vigilstln oa THaL res»aH •sMtablss. wMh eaa OeU Prtsa,«a. 1% aarhoMS aad Plaats. T»issia*ias *Mcfc| ot Flower. Tinubls. Oraas aas ranal OaSa aat ba. aar a" JOHN A. 0AUMR. MM

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