The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

& CARL DTHTOKR. . ' -- • 0 ;£y., B»-- TM»p That Bollur Him, •*f If she yhas a cold day somepody trants know if he vhaa cold enough far me. "Can I have it shust so cold or warm? Vlias I to be der shutlge ? If he vhas a hot day somepody wants to know if she vhas hot enough for me. •fiuppose he was or wasn't! Can X haf : weather like I want him? / If I shiip down on der sidewalk, more i ; *sh ten peoples come around nnd say; "Eh, Dunder, did you faU down?" Ill doan fall down, how vhas I dere? I lend a man some money und he pays fcer back und it vhas all right. I lend Itim some more und he shumps oudt und 5k flftferpody says: "Vliat a fool you vhas! \" J01* ought to have known better!" Last summer I like to hire a man for . ten shillings a day to work around my house, but I can't find nopody. As soon i< W Winter comes und nopodv can work more ash feefty fellers strike me for a quarter und sajj der poor vhas growing .. poorer eafery day. _ **.4. y If it vhas so warm in der winter dot , llopody can cat ice der newspapers vhas saving dot der peoples vhill be robbed next summer by der ice man. If it vha3 80 cold dot der ice vhas two feet thick C' der newspapers vhas saying dot der ice man was squeezing der life-blood out of der country. i Y h e n d e r d a y s v h a s s h o r t d e r g a s m a n | f»ys my bill vhas high because der eaf- fc Bings vhas so long. Vhen der days vhas p ; long he says I must expect big bills be- p: Okuse I have so much company. H ; If I make some slxange for a customer und gif him 10 cents too much, he puts it in his pocket t»nd Bay honesty vhas der best policy. If dot shange vhas 10 cents too short, he makes a great row -k tind says dere vhas no inducement indis ^,"w*v®*>rld for a man to be honest. 5<;. . Vhen A milkman comes into my place ;J for a glass of beer, he says he can't taste Some hops in dot brew. Vhen I sip his milk and ask him vhere he got dot wa­ ter, he vhas so mad he wants to fight C -me. A man comes in my place eafery day V: • for weeks und says it vhas strange der peoples doan' make me Gofernor. I lend him $2 und I doan' see him again for three months. Den I meet him und ask vhy he doan' pay, und he says she vhas strange der peoples doan ride me iV on a rail. Eaferj pody comes to me und says I * - vhas a good feller, unfl dot means I must J? kelp eaferypody. If I go to some one | _ nnd call him a good fellow he winks out of his eye at me und says: "Do fe: you pelief I vhas some greenhorns, eh ?" * Fife lioonered poys go by my house Ob a sleigh-ride, uhd sooch a yelling und tooting you nefer heard. My poy Shake goes out purty soon und whistles for his dog, und a policemans comes along • tend says : "Shtop dot noise, you young Dutchmans! Doan' you know you vhas malting eafery body seek?" If I goe3 py some clothing shtore for ;?/ It coat, und der price vhas too high, der ?? Upan says to me: "Dunder, I like to as­ sure her dot I doan' make 50 cents on dot coat at $15. I haf only ten left." I buys him, und two days later I see a big sign in der papers: "Bigdrive! 1,000,- 000 of dose same coats at $8, und doan' you forget him." • One day a man meets me und says ^ liberty vhas dead und der Republic gone ' * oop. Der next Soonday der police doan' catch -his saloon open und he slaps me on der back und says: "Liberty vhas a; ,l4l right, und der Republic vhas^der |, best in der world!" *" " •" I can't make him oudt. Maype it Vhas petter I doan' come to America.-- petroit Free Press. 1/v Politcuess in the Home Cirde. f'\; • True politeness is founded on consid­ er ©ration for others, yet it is so much a matter of form or habit that politeness is sometimes shown where there is no consideration; it is sometimes neglected •where there is affection and every rea­ son for kindly consideration. Thus, in the intercourse of near relatives made familiar with each other by daily meet­ ings there is naturally less formality than between people who are only thrown together by the chance of a few hours or days at long intervals. But along with the laying aside of formality some necessary features of politeness Sire sometimes sacrificed by relatives and i! very close friends. The youth who is tptreful to salute his lady " friends and acquaintances according to the usages of good society sometimes forgets to pay the same respect to his sister, not be­ cause he is wanting in affectionate re­ gard, but because he has grown so fa­ miliar with her that it seems awkward to him to treat her in any formal way. Yet when he meets her in company he should, out of consideration for her, be markedly polite and attentive. •'Although politeness necessarily fol­ lows to a great extent set forms, it 8s: should have its origin in affection for the individual, or, in a more general Way, in consideration for others. When --J the young man begins to behave at home £ with less politeness than he exhibits Abroad, there is much danger that grad­ ually he will lose that consideration for ; j his immediate relatives which he should have and exhibit. He may begin by entering the family room without formal greeting; absorbed in his OAvn .thoughts or pursuits, he will soon begin to leave his sister and his mother to look Out for themselves in the small affairs of life, and gradually but surely he will cultivate a selfish disposition in home • *nairs that will make him a bad or in- . different son or brother. It is a small matter in itself whether a young man Ands a chair for his sister or mother When they should be seated, anticipates . their desire for a glass of water, cheer­ fully helps them to their wraps, and of­ fers them the thousand little attentions . without which and in his absence they #•>« <#ould get along very well by their own : ' exertions, but it is not a small matter >«• Vrhen neglect of such attentions lessens his consideration for them, develops his Selfishness, and gradually undermines the affection that should unite the fam­ ily. Politeness in society between ac­ quaintances and friends is demanded by sustom. There is no need to remind that it should be exhibited. Politeness Sit home and between near relatives, I y «ven between husband and wife, though I ' • of much more importance in ever way; - Jh not so obviously necessary, and is too , Often neglected.--Baltimore Sun. c-, a Dinner Given by Thacleraj in • Old Delmouico's. s5<" Thackeray was in high spirits, and when the cigars were lighted he said f. that there should be no speech-making, Jbut that everybody, according to the \ ^ old*rule of festivity, should sing a song £ or tell a story. Lester Wallack's - father, James Wallack, was one of the gents, and after a kind of shyness, /•e" - 'Which was unexpected but very agree- Y; • sble in a veteran actojr, he pleaded earnestly that he could not sing and : knew no story. But with friendly per- " * sistence, which yet was not immoderate, ; . Thackeray declared that no excuse * v ®ouid be allowed, because it would be a manifest injustice to every other modest man at the table, and put a summary end to the hilarity. It was to be a gen­ eral sacrifice, around-table of magna­ nimity. "Now, Wallack," he continued, "we all know you to be a truthful man. You can, of course, since you say so, neither sing nor tell a story. But I tell you what you can do, and what every soul at this table knows you can do better than any living man--you can give "us the great scene from the 'Rent Day.'" There was a burst of enthusiastic agreement, and old Wallack, smiling and yielding, still sitting at the table in his evening dress, proceeded in a most effective and touching recitation from one of his most famous parts. It was curious to observe from the moment he began how completely independent of all accessories the accomplished actor was, and how perfectly he filled the part as if he had been in full action upon the stage.--George William Cur­ tis, in Harpers Magazine. -- The Lime-Kiln Club. "I have been requested/' said Brother Gardner as the meeting opened, "to present to dis club dis eavenin' de query, 'Is de ,white man improvin' ?" Elder Toots said he was glad the sub­ ject had come up. The white folks were always concerned for fear the col­ ored race was retrograding, but the boot belonged on the other foot. Within twenty years the white man had in­ vented the telephone, but alas! the States had to pass laws to koep hi™ from sending cuss words over the wires. The white man had erected wonderful bridges, improved the telegraph, brought out new orders of architecture, improved in painting and sculpture and elevated the standard of schools and so­ ciety, but there was another side to the picture. The white man had discovered other ways to beat the laws passed for the protection of life and property. Ly­ ing, swearing, stealing, and embezzling were hardly counted as sins. Visitors had picked pockets and stolen overcoats. Men who were paying the highest pew- rent in church were doing the heaviest stealing: Dressing had become an art, but running in debt and beating cred­ itors had become a greater one. The elder had nothing against the white man on account of his color. The Lord hml made him white, and he was not to blame for it. But when the white man stood on a corner and claimed to own the earth, it was well to investigate his claim. Waydown Bebee said he had always felt kindly towards the white man, and had always been willing to extend him a helping hand. He could remember back for a quarter of a century. If there were any decided improvements he could not name them. If the white man was better educated, so wer5 ill other men. If inventions were more numer­ ous, other races had helped to make them so. Take the white man as a man and he has doubtless retrograded. He was losing his reverence for the Bible and the laws. He was living fast and loose, full of gossip, suspicious, and having no care how he made his money, so long as he made it. If the white mail had got nearer to the moon'by means of the largest telescope in the world, he had also discovered new liquids to get drunk on and new ways to beat the law. If the soul had become more poetic law­ suits for debt had also become more nu­ merous. If the average mind was liv- , 4ng nearer to Milton and Shakspeare just as many bodies were being com­ mitted to state prison. "Gem'len," said Brother Gardner, as he arose, "de queshun has no doubt bin decided in de negative, but we shouldn't b'ar down too heavy on de white folks. Dey has had a heap of tribulashun, es- peshually in dis kentry. I fur one, hev great an' abidin' faith in de fuclier of de white man. Hs is gradually learnin' to speak de troof, an' to keep his hands off of odder folkses' chickens. Time will make him fear or respect de, law, brush up his manners an' compel him to real­ ize dat buildin' big skule houses doan' make manners nor bring bizness. Let us gin him a fair chance to show de stuff he are made of. De answer to de query will darfo' be:, 'He ar' improvin' mighty slow, but expects a change of fodder will make him hustle.' We will now dispel de meetin' an' adjudicate homewards."--Detroit Free Press. They Thought Each Other Fools. There are more than a score of men in New York who make their living by inventing new advertising devices. The most prominent of these is a man named Nathans, whose office is in West Broad­ way. For the last two years, however, Nathans has confined himself to manu­ facturing and disjxjsing of the inven­ tions of others. He knows just where a device of a certain kind will be wanted, and his knowledge of manufacturing is so thorough that lie can tell to a e penny just what it will cost to make any num­ ber of these articles. Nathans buys idea^ and pays a fair price for them. A friend of mine got up a little puzzle made out of pieces of movable paste­ board. It wasan absorbing little puzzle, simple looking, but not easy to arrange in the order and shape required for solu­ tion. My friend is a bank cashier, and when he brought his pieces of paste­ board over to the bank one morning all the clerks found it so interesting that they had much difficulty at night in making the books balance. Next day the inventor showed his puzzle to me, going up town on the elevated, and ex­ plained its solution. "Jones," said I, "that little thing cau be sold for $50." "Pooh P sneered Jones. "I believe you can get a hundred for it," said L "Rot!" granted Jones. I had hard work to make the man be­ lieve there was any market value in his little pieces of pasteboard, and it was only after much coaxing that I induced him to ge and see Nathans. But at last he went. In exactly twenty minutes after he climbed the stairs, he had Nathans' check for $150 in his pocket, and Nathans bad the puzzle. "Lord, but the man is a fool,® 6aid Jones, when he showed me his check; "I feel as if I ha<l swindled him. I hope I'll never meet him again. I wouldn't dare look him In the face." The other day I saw Nathans in a Park Place print shop. When I spoke of Jones' puzzle Nathans' eye twinkled and he became gleefully confidential. "Dot liddle t'ing," he whispered, "goats me to make t ree-lifts of a cent apiece. I have daken orters alretty for -one hundret an' eighty t'ousand of t'em at five cents apiece. My teer poy, I baid dot Ghones so tam liddle for dot t'ing dot I wouldn't meet him on de sdreet for a Tiexas ranche. I couldn't look dot feller in his face, I swindled him so. Lord, put he was a fool!*--N. T. Cor. Baltimore American. A CHICAGO woman has just married a man named Nail. There is one woman, then, who can hit a Nail on the head every time.--Yonkers SiuiesrnffiJ. ' EftllMhury Caog&s of Hcattu - ; Lely died of jealousy at the success of Sir Godfrey Kneller. Quin, the comedian, died while empty­ ing a glass of Bordeaux. Henry I. died of an attack of indiges­ tion, due to a surfeit of lampreys. Elphinstone, the chancellor * of Scot­ land, was heart-broken by the battle of Flodden. Hannibal, says Juvenal, did not perish by a javelin or a sword; the slaughters of Cannte were reven&ed by a ring. The Emperor Frederick III. and his son, Maximilian I., both died, we are told, of eating too heartily of melons. Valentia, the Spanish theologian, died because he was accused by the pope of having falsified a passage in St. Augus­ tine (?). Henry I,T"King of Castile, was killed by the fall of a tile from the roof while taking his amusement in the court-y ard of his palac^. The death of Pope was imputed by some of his friends to a silver sauce-pan, in which it was his delight to heat potted lampreys. Cheke, the great English scholar, "who taught King Edward Greek," died of grief at having perverted from his re­ ligious belief. Ireland, the litterateur, was honest enough, it is oaid, to die of shame at having palmed off upon the public as Shakspeare's a dramatic effort of his own. The Italian philosopher, Rhodiginus, died of grief because Francis I. was taken prisoner at Pavia--which shows that he was not much of a philosopher, after all. 5 Angeleri, a Milanese actor, was so overcome by his enthusiastic reception on his first appearance at the theater in Naples that he fell down at the side scenes and died. The Italian architect Delia Porta, the scholar Manutius, the Dutch painter Dujarnin--and how many others, more or less celebrated--have succumbed to dyspepsia. Castello, a Spanish painter of the sev­ enteenth century, died because he rec­ ognized his inferiority to Murillo--a degree of self-conscious humility to which no painter "has since attained. An hour before Malherbe, the great French writer, breathed his last, he woke suddenly from a profound swoon to reprove his nurse for using a word which, in his opinion, was indifferent French. Alonzo Cano, the Spanish painter and sculptor of the seventeenth century, re­ fused when lying on his death-bed to kiss a crucifix which was presented to him, because, he said, it was so badly executed. The death of George I. seems to have, been owing to a fit of indigestion. He was seized with his mortal illness while on his last journey to Hanover, and, thrusting his head out of his coach window, cried to his coachman: "Os- naburg! Osnaburg!" When the famous musician Rameau was dying his confessor wearied him with a long homily, and he, rallying his failing energies, exclaimed: "What on earth makes you come here and chant to me, Monsieur le Cure? You have a deuce of a bad voice!" More than a century ago an actor named P&terson played the duke in Shakspeare's "Measure for Measure," at the Norwich theater. He had juirt de­ livered the beautiful speech--N Reason thus -with life: If I do lose thee I do lose a thing That none but fools would keep, « when he staggered back and expired, A Poor Imitation. A traveler for a London firm of opti­ cal instrument-makers was going the round of a small country town, and, while exhibiting his samples, produced a box of artificial eyes, and began to des­ cant upon their superiority. While he was enlarging upon the beauty Of irisr goods, a little man stepped up and said: "You talk about your goods being the finest iti the market, but I venture to doubt it. Just look at this left eye of mine if you would see, perfection." The optical man examined it closely, and with a half sneer in his voice, asked: "Where did you get that eye?" "Got it in London." ' "I am quite sure you didn't get it from our house." "No, I got it at another place." "Exactly. Such poor work as that , would not be allowed to leave our fac­ tory. In the first place, it is of too light a shade to match the other one, and any one can see that it is a size too small for you. Again, if is not natural in its appearance. It can deceive, no one. Its artificial points crop out on every side, in fact, it has hardly a sin­ gle aspect of the natural eye. How long have you worn it ?" "Ever since I pan remember. You see I was born in London, and this eye was born with me. It's a natural one and a mighty good one, too." The traveler didn't see his way to continue the discussion. He picked Up his samples and quietly faded from Ilriil b Unltfileli df Aeirt; Let Shakspeare bear the laurels in poetry; and Aristotle be honored as the father of philosophy; and Alexan­ der wear the medals of martial glory; and Moses be greatest among states­ men--but Jesus of Nazareth must stand out in the grand galaxy of histor­ ic renown as first in His tenderness of heart, His pity for the needy, His com­ passion for all men! Mark the word "compassion." It holds a proud place in the Gospel!--Joe Cook. A MAN uho has practiosd medlcina f«t forty years ought to know salt lroin sugar. Bead wbat b* saya: TOI^KDO, Ofcfo, Jan. 10,1887. Messrs, P. J. Cheney A Co.--GentlemenI have been in the general practice of rneiliciua for most forty veavs. and •would say that in all IDT practice and experience have never seen a preparation that I could prescribe with as much confidence of success as I can Hall's Catarrh Cuio, manufactured by you. Have prescribed it a great many times and its effect is wonderful; and would say in conclusion that I have yet to find a case of Catarrh tiasfc it would not eure, if they would take it accordinfto directions. Yours truly, L. L OOKCSHC. M. D., Office, 215 Summit 8treet. "We frill plve $100 for any cas® oi Catarrh tliat can not be cured with Hall's Catarrh Cor*. Taken internally. F. J. CHENEY & CO., Props., Toledo, O. 4<i~b*lu by druggists, 75e. ' It <> "x Dream of Federation. * What if the world Bhould soew day see the Kingdom of Great Britain free and independent, the United States of jAinerica free and independent, the (United States of Australia no less free land independent than the other two, jand other united states that may gro'w up elsewhere among men of English speech, all uniteds not in an impossi­ ble federation, not by any political tie, but by the "sentiment," if that is to be the word, of a common origin, speech, [and history? And a speaking, out- jward sign of union might be found, i While every member of such a broth­ erhood should keep its full political independence, each might greet the citizens of the other, not as strangers, but as brethren. That is, a citizen of any one might at pleasure take up the citizenship of any other. Naturaliza­ tion is now so easy everywhere that the grant of such a material privilege j could make but a slight change. Still, las expressive of international brother­ hood, it would be weighty indeed. Nor (need we of necessity wait till the United States of Australia can, as such, join in the bond, but it M ill be a bright day when they can.--Edward A. Free- man, historian. A Terrible Misfortune. It is a calamity of the direst kind to feel that one's physical energies aro failing in the prim* of life--to feel moro nerveless, more dispirited, -weaker every-day. Yet this is the unhappy lot of hundreds who surround us. A source of re­ newed strength which science approves, in behalf of which multitudes of the debilitated have and are every day testifying, and which, in countless instances, has built up constitutions s.'ipfed by weakness and infirmity and long un- benefited by other means, fsuroly comprehends itself to all who need atonic. Hoatetter'a Stom­ ach Hitters ia such a medicino -pure, botanic, soothing to the nerves, promotive of digestion and a ertilizor of the b o.nl. Dy •pepsia and nervouMi-?s8--the first a cause, the second a coim quenco of lack of stamina-depart when a couise of the Bittors i« triod. All forms or malarial disease, rheumatism, kidney and bladder trouble, constipation and biliousness are annihilated by this standard family msdi- cin,B. What the Epistles Are. "A&d now, little girls," said a Sun­ day-school teacher, "you may tell me about the Epistles." A little girl held up her hand. "Well?" said the teacher. "The Epistles," said the little girl, "are the wives of the apostles."--Boston . Journal. interested rrnm. Advertising a patent m«dieina in the peculiar way in whfeh proprietor of Kemu's Balsam for CouKbs aBia colds does emp's Balsam for Coughs it is indeed wonderful, fie authorizes all A TBAVEiER in Korwav says that the horses in that country hav ea very sen- sibte way of taking their food, which perhaps might be beneficially followed here. They have a bucket of water put down beside their allowance of hay. It is interesting to see with what relish they take a sip of the one and a mouth­ ful of the other alternately, sometimes only moistening their mouths, as a rational being would do while eating a dinner of such dry food. A broken- wir,ded horse is scarcely ever seen in Norway, and the question is if the mode of feeding has not something to do with the preservation of the ani­ mal's respiratory organs. ; PATERFAMILIAS (interrupting)--Yon girls Bhould fix your minds on some­ thing higher than dress. Mary Ann-- That is what wo have, pa. We have got our minds fixed now on a couple of lovely high hats down at Mrs. Feath­ er's millinery rooms. druggists to give those who call for it a sample bottle Free, that they may try it be­ fore purchasing. The Large Bottles are 50c and $1. We Certainly would advise a trial. It may save you from consumption. THE ancients believed that the whole earth was square, but up to the hour of going to press we have not heard that they expressed a similar belief , ill re­ gard to the inhabitants thereof. THE man who is the most generous, generally keeps it to himself, while the most selfish one gives it away.--Texas Siftinga. A Cousti, Cold, or Sor« Throat should not ba neglected. BBOWN'S BRONCHIAL TBOCHES are a simple remedy, and give prompt relief. 25 eta. a box. CRUELTIES at C begin when the small boy cannot remember what letter comes after it. COD LIVER OIL, k SSOTtf: Old an Wastlar His Own Petard. "Did you ever hear about Zeb Vance's first law case in the Supreme Court of North Carolina?" said Senator Wade Hampton to a cloak-room group. "Well, it is a good one. Zeb's client had been worsted in tLe lower court and he took an appeal. It was his first argument in the State Supreme Court, and you may know was a tremendously heavy one. When the judges came to render a deci- sion the Chief Justice quoted Vance's argument in' full. As he went along Vance looked around at the other law­ yers in a way that showed he felt sorry for them, though, of course, he didn't want to appear too^proud. But he couldn't conceal his opinion that that argument was tlicfereatest one ever pre­ sented to the courts. For the judges who had sense enoughto see this he felt the deepest respect. Weli; after a time, the Chief Justice finished the- xeading of that argument, and with judicial^de- liberation said: "For these reasons we affirm the deci­ sion of the court below." "Vance was dumfounded. He had appealed from the decision of the court below, and his own argument was made the text for sustaining that decision. It was a long time before Vance heard the last of that case from his brother law­ yers."-- Washington letter. JINKS (to old friend in theater lobby) --I notice you come out after every act. You are not drinking, I hope? Blinks --O, no; but it is rather tiresome inside. I came with my own sister this time.-- New York Weekly. A NEW novel has lately been .pub­ lished in raised letters for the use of the blind. It is said to evoke a great deial of feeling.--Terre Haute Express. THERE is some talk of organizing an ice trust next season. We hope dealers will slip up on it.--Burling ton Free Pnmrn, TEXAS was die only State admitted Into the Union which reserved its own unoccu­ pied public domain. By wise legislation, one-half of the unsold lands were devoted to sohool purposes, the otiier half being, for a period, devoted to aiding railroads. The consequence is the State has now an unex­ ampled school fund, and railroads some­ what in excess of its demands. The Hous ton and Texas Central Railway Company, one of the first, having recovered from its financial trouble, is now prepared to sell and give title to some of its best lands in a higrh and salubrious portion of the State. Its announcement in another column indi­ cates that easy teems will be made t<> actual settlers. , FAIR play may be a jewel, but soci­ ety actresses should remember that jewels do not make a fair play. Consumption Surely Cured. To the Editor: Please inform your readers that I have a positive cure for Consumption. By Its timely use thousands of hopeless cases have boen permanently curod. I shall be glad to send two bottles of my remedy FREE to any of your readers who have con sumption, if they will so ml me their Express and P. O. Address. Respectfully, T. A. 8LOCUM, M. C.. 181 Pearl fit., N. Y. --If your pystem needs toning tip, don't waste your tuoncy on bitters or other "spring medi­ cines use MAGEE'K EMULSION of Cod Liver Oi), Extract of. Malt and Hypophosphites--a food, mediolne and stimulant all in ono. feAfN lEDYf^l For Stablemen and Stockmen. CURES San. BwtlHngi, Brnltsi, Sprataa, Ga.Hi, Strata*, Lau»au. 6tiCE««i, Ortcked Ileeli, Benktchw, Owili iictlane, Fiosl! WoosSs, Btriaghalt, Son- SlBwat, Colic, Whitlow, Pail Eril, IlKalk, Tuaort, Bpllcti, *lnfbones and Bpavla Is iU early Btkgea. DIMCMom witi e&dk feStU*. AT DaiKKJlSTS AMD DSi.Ll.RS. THE CHARLES H VGGELER CO., Baltimore. Md. DIAMOND VERA CURA FOti DYSPEPSIA. A Positive Cur* for INDIGESTION and all Stomach Troubles Ariiting Therefrom. Your Dmo'Jixt or fienrral Dealer wilt gtt f'era- Cur a for you if not armui'j in stock, or it will bt tent by "Mil"" receipt of '£• cent* i'i boxes $1X10) in tiamp*. batnple sent on re'-eipt of '2,-fent »tatnp. THE CHARLES A. V0GE ER_C0.. Baltimore. Md. Catarrh Ely's Cream Balm"! II HAY-fEVtR Gold in Head KL\ BIUJK., 56 Warren SU, N.T. (RADFiELD'S IFBLW ft TJB REGULATOR Cures all Diseases Peculiario Women! BOOK TO "WOMAN" MAILED FUSE. BltADFJEI.O KEGCLATOK ClUATLAIIii U» BOLU BY ALL DTURGOLGXA. man TBI3 FAPCS mat Ca>iwn« FOR THE BLOOD Swift's Sjwifio h.v :n^ of a niali^nant brea'Jnjf it on my iejr. which caiued intolerable iras cahed IvTeni* by iht* doctor*--four of wbora treated me relief. I camlidh- coafcc* that I owe my present •d health to S. S. S., which in my ^timati^n » mvjdu-a Hood remedy- MIKS JUL? A DkWITT. SWT N. loUt St., St. Louis, MA. Oar bftbe when two month* old w*s attacked with ofnla, wlik'b f«>r a Ion* time destroyed her eyesight tirelv, and caused n* to despair of her lif*. Th« doc-failed to relieve her, and we pave Swift's 8|w*ciflc, hich hearty. cured her eilfrHv. atvPsh E. V. IJELK, Will kaie and Point* Texas. Scrofula developed on my dau^Wr--swelling and lumps her Beck. W« g»re her SwiiV* Specific, and the r*» ' was wendarfoi and the COM prompt, S.A. P Cle«-4*ad; T«o% for took £<ri*ir History of I i. wfcnw. . TO* snrr srcconc qp- • Dntmrfc Atlanta, u*. 51 Now is the time when your personal condition Should command careful attention. If you have not "wintered well," if you are tired out from overwork, if your blood has become Impure from close confinement in badly venti lated offices or shops, you should take Hood's Barsaparilla at once. It will purify and vitalize your blood, create a good appetite, and dive your whole system tone and strength. Spring Medicine *E»riy last spring I was very much ran down, had nervous headache, felt miserable and all that. I was very much benefited by Hood's Sarsaparilla and recommend it to my friends." Itns. I. M. TATLOB. lilt Euclid Avenue, Cleve­ land, Ohio. \ N. It. Be sure to sSt Hood's SarsaparlUa. Hood's Sarsaparilla is prepared from Rarsaparilla, Dandelion, Mandrake, Dock. Juniper Berries, and Other well-known vegetable remedies, by such m peculiar combination, proportion, and process as to Kcuro the full medicinal value of each. Hbod's Sarsaparilla Sold by all druggists. S*: six for $5. Prepared only by C. I. HOOD * CO., Lowell, Mass. too Doses One Dollar TU BK*T DOMI.Bnnun BMT OTIC. oss O» TUB BSST Tsussroras nc TBI Wont.O With Extract of Malt and Compound Hvpepbospbites, Cures Consuoa chitis, Coughs, Colds, Scrotal*, Diseases. It is as pleasant and palitshls to talw a# honey. Its strsuctlMmtaK eflfeeti araalmoct Imme­ diate. It does ast emus wr» to •--it itf' orcuxton.tlly after being swaDowc Smul-tiont rcrialslr do. It producer of BOS It pari tie < »li«* Blood, and pat' ly in weijlit vrhtto takhs it. It Is a true Knaalsiorc, the < always ready, always alike, _ a thick, Kwmmy ami srr«>»»s] ttop to upset the PATIENT'S S , It i« used in all the leadim; H« It Ik prewibrd by the most eaalneat pfe]q|inj •iiuis in the United Statesaad Canada. . Ask your Druggist tor it, and take n« other. ^ Lawrence, XangiW: CHOICE TEXAS LANBS Rare Chance for Settlers. , The Railroad System of Texas haTiv.g develops# Wit ,;.:- as to bring within easy access of good interior fc Seaboard markets the lauds granted to the HOUSTON &TEXASCENT'IRY.C& It hae been determined to offer to ssttlers th« Renowned Agricult'l Lands located alone tlielineof the Fort Worth £ DsWMK < City K. 15.. beginning; with Wilbarger " > County, comprising 200,000 ACRES ! In farms of IfiO acres and upward. These lands wet* located by the Company among the earliest, witk« i. A. MAGEE & pecial care as to soil, timber and water. They i , iapted to the growth of cotton, corn, oats, wheat, barley, rye, vegetables, orchards and gard<Mi» aaal adapted to the growth of cotton, com, oats the various domestic grspsea. Situated in the elevated and liealthy region kaoW» Ms the Southern Fanliaitdle of Texas, they poatssa A fmnial climate, favorable to man and beast, wheie outdoor work can b« carried on the year round, aa# are in marked contrast with reeimis of early and lata frosts or of destructive "blizzards." Population is f.iit pouring in. and local governmsifc. is already established, with schools, churches, 4c. TKRUS OF SALK: One- fifth cash, balance in foureqoHr. yearly ravments, with interest on deferred payment*. For further information aa to these and Sands kk. Adjacent counties, apply to J»'S. NAPIER, Vernon, Texas, * (who is prepared to show to purchasers); '«r to - • C* C. GIBBS, Land Ag't, Houston, T«t». to nmkr thi« wonderful offcr ft1 of such Tn^nt ihat, when a person Cirafr upreaiJa, an<i m«i>y people puroha*- • LrrtTl result.*. \V>c*a supply on! Thove who writ* nt once, will makt irho delay will Ion* th« fhntice. fie*t(iuQ. Grind Telencope. Nonp«r«j to explain further here. I'ho** who write at once w ill soeure prompt d*-1 5 intritduce oai ffood»,w« will until fcr- thernotice,»*ndc,bs..!t.tr'-lTf>ec«too»e1|^=« fly pertontni locality, on« of our Telescopes, nntl the Double-Bar­ relled Shot OUB made. We son that ( i, in any loc«}iiT,jheir^l nil profi«k>i<' prr?on in ea«sh of their reward, while iho^eSS^B^Pp^^l J| Londlllffi ORflORS And that Pteo*B Cam. for Consumption not only PREVENTS, TA* also CUSE8 HoamK lO or 19 BSK. to explain furtberhere. Th"*# who writeat once will soeure prompt ~ ~~~ ' livery. biaMyoutuiuws-amnaddnu. Addles*, 11. HAI.LETT St CO., Bosc 88T, Portland, Malae. WsEMU My last lecture with hints awl helps for complete home core. Dr.lt. F. Cat on. BoxSH", Boston.' fm WDOEmWTlUf&g ""SKMIBU, PriceS 8towell*Pa»r '.riestowmr-- gg^pfpl n in Tht Oldest it tk* World isfrcbatly » DR. ISAAC THOMPSON'S „ , T.sifrifj&xsa Script ion, ami has t<ecn in constant use for nearly a Conturv. There arc few diseases to which III--> hill lire subject more distressing than sore eyes, ana none, perhaps, for which more remedies taw OSSP jtried without success. For all external Inflammation ;Of the eves it is an Infallible ramedy. If the direc­ tion« are followed it will never fall. Weparttculajfy invite the attention of uhvsiclans to Its merits, roc Ule l>v all ciruKgisU- JOHN L. THOMPSON, BUS* FT COL. TROY, >\ Y. Established 1797. ^0. I. E. FARGO & CO.; LAKE HILLS, WIS Manufacturer* nnd taming to the man- M utacture of O1, Complete Creamery .......-- tits a specialty. Estimates tarnished on tice. -olid tor Illustrated Pricelist. IF YOir WISH AQ II s§i ; ,V RF.VOI.Vl-U pnrchaso one of the cele- bratwl SMITH t WKSSON aniiH. The t"m<ist small arms ever inanufu^-tur.-d and the fitvt choice of all experts. _ . Manufactured in calilnvs :S2,S? and 44-100. Sin- gleorilouhle action. Safety Haiumerlsa* and 1';irt,"et models. <\>nstruct«<l entirely of beat «n*I» Ity wroiialit stool, carefully inspected forwocaK nintiMhip ami stork, they are unrivaled for flat*) D U R A B I L I T Y ' -- " I .... n ud accuracy. Do not bfdecdTM cliraji mnllenble cnMt-iron imltatlann whi are often sold for the (fenuine articw and ars i upon onlv niiivliab'e. ^but dautfero WESSON Hevolvers are all stamped _ r»>lB wiihfirni'a name, address and dates of mtaBtft and are gnaraiilrrd perfect in every detail. Ia- eint upon haviiiK the Ki'nuin© article, and If fmr (dealer cannot supply you an order a->nt to addroM "below will receive prompt and careful attsntfaak Descriptivecatal«Kiie ;rM prices t- rnislied upon afl* plication. SMITH & WESSON,V" 0r*Ment(on this pain r. SprincNeldl. M*aa» "ALDER'S MAGNETIC INHAL \j?atente& June S3, 1899\ Prloo, One DsUar. This Inhaler consists of a powerful Ma<nietic< rlosinn a supply of pure Japanese Crystals of M< the whole incased in polished rubber with nil 1-eiiiovable caps*. t<ufi'i-rers are scarcely aware that juatarrh is due to the presence of microbes in fM ' i tu neons membrane lininR the nose and throat. ,*JS ites which, before the iiihalatious. wet* seentolM) one or two simple inhalations the microscope i Show in the catarrhal nine us deisd forms of usi THE NEW PRIZE STORY It eagerly songht for, read with pleasure or disappointment, is then tossed aside and forgotten. But ladies who read of Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription, read it again, for they discover in it something to prize--a messenger of joy to those suffering from functional derangements or any of the painful disorders or weak­ nesses peculiar to their sex. Periodical pains, Internal inflammation and ulcer­ ation, readily yield to its wonderful curative aud healing powers. It Is the only medicine for women, sold by druggists, under a positive garantee from the manu­ facturers, that it will give satisfaction in every case, or money will be refunded. This guarantee has been printed on the bottle-wrappers, and faithfully carried out for many years. $1.00 by druggists, or six bottles for $5.00. Copyright. 1888, by WORLD'S DISPENBART MKDICAL ASSOCIATION, Proprietor* alive and active. They can only exist iu luembrmnes that are below the healthy standard. It is for th* want of the understanding of these facts that We MM of Catarrh is made difficult. For a permanent olIM It is necessary not only to kill the serai but alao to Strengthen the membrane. This is accomplished by the electric force stored up in the MagneticOotLIt iiiK the most powerful natural tonic to the weakened) tissues. Speakers and vocalists will find the Itt- Jialer very beneficial in strengthening the Yoiee. Korwarded hv mail on receipt of the price by D. (A. ti.M.I.KAU Ac CO.. '<>;! Frankiui Street, Chicago. IU. T xs oniaiN LITTLE LIVER PILLS. » Pirely Vegetable and Perfectly Harmless. Unequaled as a Liver Pill. Smallest, cheapest, easiest to take. One ttuy, Sugar-coated Pellet a Dose. Cures Sick Headache, Billons Headache, Constipation, Indigestion, Bilious Attacks, and ail derangements of the stomach und bowels. 38 cents, by drutrirmt.*. 1$ For arty one of The uian who lias invested trmu three to Ave dollars in a HUUMT Coat, and •t his first lialf hour's experience in a storm finds to liii> sorrow thai ft Is hardly a better protection than a mos­ quito netting, not only feels chagrined at being so badly taken in, but alao ieela If he does not look c xsctly like Ask for the "F1811 1UCAND" Sucker Wc oiler the man wlio wants Kervice WET HEN (not style) a garment thut will keep him dry in the hardest storm. It is called TOWKK'd FISH BRAND " SLICKEK," a name familiar to every Cow-b.iy all over the land. With them the only perfect Wind arid Waterproof Coat is " Tower's Fish Brand .Slicker. " and take no other. If your storekeeper does not have the PISH BRAND, senfifordeicriptlTecatalogue. A.J. TOWKR,-20 SinimonR St.. Boston, Mas*. '# ^ rn IvCa Cou 5>K r.T? CURB FOR (oWSW"Ti°/J. FOR S/M-E BY ALU DRUGSISTS. PATENTS Wa^liingtnii, U. V. *rf~8cnd lor circular. find Piso'R Cure for Consumption TH E BEST remedy for hoarseness and to clear the throat. ft ast' CTIinV Bookkeeping, Business Forms, UIRC 91IIIII • Penmanship.Arithinetic,8hort- hand, < tc„ thorouBlily taught by mail. Circulars free. BKYANT'S BUSINESSCOLLSOE. Buffalo.N.Y. H SALESMEN 2-ceut sump. Wages S3 Per Day. |KHI»]» inswered MOIN'I acli INOUD for WKKCS, ETO. Centennial Manufacturing Co.,, Cincinnati, Ohio. kirfiii OriDE, and 10c. Certificate for .f^eeda. t/oi.v ail for 2stsnipa(4 cwats.) lEvery &OWCT lover delighted. Tel! all your IfriendB. O. W. PARE. FAHKEfTSBUKB, f*. ndntonce. TJiis notice a"ill not apnaar attain tfe wish a few men u pood, by sample to ihu vbolnale aud re-all trade. I.argesr _ in cur line. KUCIOHO sump. Wages S3 Per Day. Permanent iKialtloo. No IS JOHN W. JIOH Rn, Late Principal Ex&uiiner, lT. S Pension Bureau. Att'y at Law, Waitltlngton, prosecutes claims, original. Increase, re-rating, widows', children's and depen dent relatives'. Experienoc . 3 j r«* 1 n! aat war, 15 yrs in Pension Bureau, and 'i > practicing attorney. L A D I E S L O O K I A So ,'elty Ru* Machine sent by mail loi j 1. Satisfaction guaranteed «MP -money refunded. Wholesale price reduced to Ajsentn. New I'ricelist of niacluues, yarn, ])at.erns. etc.. aud a book of beautiful colored pattern desujttu, sent free. tSf Agents wanted. K. KO-iS & t O., Toledo, O. ( CURE FITS!, 1 do not mean merely to stop thexn tor a time and then have them return. I luean a radical cure. I havn Mad# FITS. EPILEPSY ocFALLING SICKNESS a life-long' study. I warrtrip- my remedy to cure th* wowt cases. Becsi!*® others have failed is BOieaMB forBotnowrsceivma- a cure. Send at ones for traaoaa ONLY CHOICK SET8 Vegetable or Flower Seeds, - t ROMS, Shrubs, Grape ViM% Fruit Trees, Etc. For example, we send postpaMi" and guarantee safe arrival 38 Jackets Choiee Flower Seeds, SftsorM. prico $1.80, for lR,f|^.v 80 Packets Choice V ogetable Seeds 3Usorts 1.00 la EverbloonilnK Hoses, 15 beautiful sorts 1.00* 14 Geraniums, 14 splendid sorts.... . l.OO 15 Carnations, 15 elegant sort a 1.0ft 13 (jlrape Vines, 4 sorts, our choice 1.0ft For the other 51 sets and 1001 things besides (many New and Kareleeeour GRANI>SPRISWI CATALOGUK, 160 pages, sent free to all who wish to purchase cither Seeds, Plants or Trees. All others wishinglt should remit the cost SQot Oura>is one of the oldest, largest and most reliable nurseries in the U. S. 35th jesr, •1^,5 greenhouses, 7U0 acres. |. • THE STORRS & HARRISON CS.,/ PainisyHle, Lak« CoM WHAT scorn EMULSION CURES CON#MFCI0i scsoiula ;,/4 BROKCEIM OOUGHS 00LBS .Waiting DintMB Wonderful Ftosh ProcJucor» Scott's Emulsion is not a secret remedy. \ •• J Coutaiiiing the stimulaung HvpopL«.ujik' • 'fv phites autj Pure Norwegian i oil Liter Oil^, the pot ncy of both largely in^" creased. It is used by Physiciaus all o*s(fS the world. " • PALATABLE AS MILK. ! Sola 6y aU Drufgtatg. . • I prwrih# and ;:f .A dorae Big tJ as tb» aaH specific for the certain CMSI ' of thia disease. _ O. H. I^ti HA1IAV. M. Bt, Amsterdam, W. a* : : We have sold Bi« C ffljf, ?., BiMiv veal's, and it nipi siren the bast of •-x ^ljKdtche* CO.. i\i: « Chlca*«, 4 Sl.M. gold by Br SSfrt*,.^ • No. I 1 WKIT1NO TO. A»yeinisKR% s mmr Jiw nv dM a<wdl>»mwl C.N.B.