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THE UNIVERSAL; iBAftY Im baby of am honaehohl, "A well-spring of delight,' Jtefceepi" us always burglar B|r crying all the niglit. W "A thing of jaw forever." >• Hie prattle runs like tbla:!| *Ah gH-gn-walia-walla-goo 5 We hush him with a kia*. ^ '•ig§5«.. Bat what hfs unknown lnn"n«g® Our ignorauoe would touch , , We cannot guesa: we have not le&rnin ; His lexicon of speech. Bvt if Ihnt little bald head Were hidden from onr eij~ That voice peremp.ory an<i olmrp Hushed in death's endless uight, mk .•fc- tip' " • I t ' ' V / m-: ' & * . * * W~[ .y- K " isiM;: I '<:<&/• Onr hearts would break with atiguinjjl' r What oniihp for bitter ruth-- *, a? What's that ? You don't say-|p| Gnat t»?>M I Our baby's got A tooth! •• 1 --Free Tress. THE MKItttV .SUICIDE, fe.wi it ! f . tv ' "Ob, huckleberries, >tr. Pearson, you can't make rac believe that." "But, my dear Yomts, I do nut want you to believe it.'* pleaded Bob. with an earnestness very far removed from his usual indifference of manner. "It does sound funny, I suppose." he con­ tinued, rather ruefully. "1 am such a gawk, but I love vou just as much as if I were better locking and graceful and all that." Bob's companion jumped lightly down from her elevated perch on the stone wall and turned a resolute face up to him. "Vou needn't think that I'm such an awful idiot. Mr. Pearson, just be­ cause I happened to have been born In the country. It's horrid of you to talk to me that way. trying to turn mv head with all your praises of city | t life and how tine it is; you don't love me one bit, you--oh, eh--" > The rest of the sentence wlis unin- telligible. for Venus burst out in a most sudden and unexpected lit of weeping, leaving the already bewild- ^llflered Bob quite daft and overcome #£< \ with «r thousand conflicting emotions. "I say, little one," he finally man­ aged to gasp, after he had watched the tears trickling down Venus' cheek . f,y% :* till be could stand it no longer, "don't V, r* cry; don't, please, I ain't worth it. I ftl ^ain t honest. Oh, I say. darlin', quit, f I ' ,< won't you. You don't want to--to--^ * to see me cry trfc>, do you?" > ; There was a dangerous flash in the jyiv- y°un£ maiden's eyes as she shook her­ self loose from the arm of the uu- 'l steady Bob. - "I ain't your darling, I never will ' , • be, so there. Oh. I don't want you to go home with nie," thank you; I am quite capable of v.a ikMn*f without sup- ? port of any kind." (This last sent­ ence probably had reference to Bob's „ ^rm.) ... There was never born upon this tag , earth a more good nat ured man than ' Bob, rarely if ever one-half so modest --but there is u limit to human en- durance in this as well as in most other cases. Bolt had reached that limit--Venus' weeping had only made him more miseratSe and determined. As that decided young lady at­ tempted to p iss him and run down the road towards her ancestral man­ sion she was seized boldly about the waist by a muscular pair of arms with ^ an embrace that was gentle but ^•wy Arm.- J " Ve nus," his voice whispered in her \ >, car, "you must not play with me like II?5 this,dear. Why, the true love of a man Vlis not a thing to trample under foot f V { as you have mine. Perhaps you do ty-'-otunderstand me even yet--it is all . so plain to me. I love you and want ^ •? you to be my wife, will you?" Venus raided herself upon tiptoe ^ ; {} and struck Bob full in the face. Ij'J * "You are an awful coward," she cried, passionately, "to make love to J; *, / me and then say the terrible things '5 about me which you did the other Bight. I hate yoi. and I always *t have, and I always will, and--oh, go cl; » away, can't you?" ^ Foronce in her life Venus was terri­ fied. The arms which were about her waist shook for a moment and then • ,*| closed upon her like a vise. Bob's ' Ji face, white as a sheet, looked into :.H hers. "Venus," she heard his voice say, ' calmly enough, only it was the sort of ^ j quietness that makes one shudder, •;v 44You should not say such things. I was-so mad for a minute that I al- ; , aaost killed you. Good-bye." 4(Where are you going?'* sobbed Venus. '•U "To the devil," was the laconic re­ sponse. Bob turned around; the decided r<*3 r young lady had suddenly become woe- %: fully weak. Bob's heart smote him; , \ he turned to comeback, hesitated,. V {P1 \ and was lost. He felt perfectly mieer- fe; , able, and therefore, manlike, in order 1/ to disguise a sensation he should have *• • - been proud of, he grew sullen. "Hope you feel better soon," he re marked pleasantly. "And, by the way, tell Mrs. Elmore not to wait supper for me, I won't be there." "Oh, you're not going away, Bob?" Venus raised a pretty tearful face. •Oh, no, not far. I'll leave my body behind me. Come down to the river to-morrow and you may And it --depends on which way the wind blows, though--it may take me out to sea." 4'You don't intend to drown your­ self" "Dear, no, what an idea. That would be wretched form--just fall into the river accidentally, you know-- current strong, too bad, nice fellow. You drop in, river does the rest, ha, ha, ha!" Bob walked rapidly away, he couM hot trust his feelings any longer. Venus? She fainted in the most <Hthodox manner. . * * * . » « * For over an hour Bob Pearson walked straight down the dusty road which led to Old Mission. Many times he stopped, looked furtively be­ hind him, then settled his hat still further down upon his forehead and §jv again plodded onward. It was all of a long month ago that r,* he had first seen Venus. He had ^ oome down from Chicago, worn out j-f C with work and worry, not in making, bat in taking care of his fortune, for s ' * month's rest. He had secured a I? V room at the farm-house of Mrs. El- , «•' more, widow. There he had met his ;; fate in the shape of pretty Marjorie Gimore, known to the primitive f 4'" county of Bucks as Venus, on ac- § ' count of her many and palpable uir . charms. Their first meeting" had taken ^*$4 place in that most unromantic of ren- pf % 4ewoa&, the pig-sty, whither Bob had 0- ; muterai while takiiv an amused in- " '• Kwty:*' - ?..<Kv ft:- < ventory of the Widow Elmore's home­ stead, Marjorie was giving the swine their supper. Bob offered his assist­ ance in the restraining of an unruly .Jneniber of the community. ; Bob made a most original entry tin his dairy that evening. It was this: "1 went to the pig-sty to see fewitie. Found a pearl. Blue eyes." For one blissful month he wore the rose-colored spectacles of love. 0he afternoon they most unexpectedly fell off--it was on the afternoon on tvhich this story opens. With malice prepense he had asked her to take a walk with him late in the afternoon down by the pretty river which ran by Mrs. Elmore's es­ tate. Arrived there he had proposed to her, started to take her into his arms--and received a blow from Ve­ nus' hand full in the face, together with some most incoherent nonsense about "the rerribie things he had Siikl the other night." Bob struck viciously at an innocent clump of golden rod with his cane. What the deuce did she mean? Was Venus only an arrant little coquette after all? lie would have sworn that she liked him, they had heen such good chums; but what under the can­ opy did she mean bv saying such--had that little sprig of Burton been ly­ ing to Venus? Why. Burton proposed to her once and she had refused him--who was it that had told him that--he had al­ most forgotten the circumstance? And here he was actually going to Burton's house to ask to put up over night. Well, he would go straight there and ask Burton if he had been telling lies about him, and if he had he would choke him. Mr. Bob Pearson found himself di­ rectly in front of the Burton gate; it was wide open. Down the gravel- w«Uk, between the level lines of care­ fully trimmed hedges, Bob could see the light from the hall lamp stream­ ing. On the piazza in the side of the house a bass voice was hummipg with great gusto a snatch from an opera- it was Carroll Burtou. Bob leaned wearily against the tall gate-post: he was ashamed to confess it, but he was actually faint with hunger. Hfe was also painfully con­ scious of the blister on the bottom of his foot. In this attitude, physical and men­ tal. he was discovered by Carroll's big mastiff, who immediately set up a tremendous baying. "Who's there?" shouted Burton from the piazza. As he received no" answer, Mr. Burton arose and ap­ proached, stealthily treading adown the gravel walk, with no little diffi­ culty, be it said, for Carroll weighed over200. This made no difference to that gentleman, whon) no such diffi­ culty deterred. "By Jove, what luck," he shouted, as he saw who it was. "I was no end lonely, wondered what had become of you, forsaken by all my friends, about to shoot myself--" < "I'll spare yon that trou tie," ven­ tured Bob. "Say, do you know a young lady by the name of Marjorie Elmore?" "What a question!" roared Burton, administering a forcible punch to his companion's fifth rib. ."Know her! Like a book. 'Woman^s looks my only books;' you've heard that, I dare say" But Pearson's face assumed a se­ vere expression as he .ejaculated: "Look here, Carroll, I'm in love with that girl--yes, asked her to be my wife." Bob took a savage pleasure in being miserable. "Somebody's been telling her a string of lies about me, and I'm going to strangle him." "Who is the cad?" asked Carroll. "Tell me and I'll help you do it." The calmness of his friend some­ what staggered Bob. "He is either innocent," he thought, "or else a con­ summate hypocrite. There is no--" At this critical moment Burton groaned aload and brought his fist with a resounding whack down upon the innpeent jjate post. "Bob," he almost shgnfed in his excitement, "shoot me, erase me; I am the guilty party. I'm the biggest nondescript in ten cotfnties--I'll walk around for the next year, so that I can kick my­ self." \ "Well, out\with it. Tell me the worst at oncerljnust say, however, that it was blackguard--" "That's just it," agreed Carroll, "it was a blackguardly thing to do; worse than that, simply asinine. Do you know, Bob," he said, confidentially, "I'm an awful fool?" There was a moment's pause. Car­ roll laughed. "Silence gives consent," he said rather weakly. "Well, Bob, the way of it was this. There has been a ru­ mor about these parts--perhaps you have heard of it--that I once asked little Venus to be my wife. I'm proud to say'that I did, and I am also proud to say that the young lady had sense enough to refuse me. We've always been very good chumssince,and I have teased her often about you. She's in love with you, dotes on you " "Carroll," stammered Bob, "do you really think so?" "Think so? know so; but she would never confess it, pretended to dislike you. One day I was rallying her about you untii she finally grew abso­ lutely angry. "'Mr. Burton,'she cried, 'I don't care a snap for Mr. Pearson, and you know it.' ^ " 'Of course, Mi.rjorie,' I said "I was orflgs fooling. It would be quite too awful if you did care for an old man like Bob. He speaks Very nicely about you, though, says he hardly likes your rude ways, but that you are good fun and almost pretty. ^ "You see, Bob, I thought she would know that I was joking, and the temptation was too good to miss. I n^ver thought she'd believe a word of it. I beg your pardon, Bob, most sincerely. If you'll just come in and get a bit of something to eat and spend the night, why, in the morn­ ing I'll get up early and run down to the Elmores and tell Venus the truth; oh, come on." It was far into the small hours of the morning when Bob and Carroll sought their beds. They had smoked and talked over old times and--well, they had drunk just a little. Carroll's butler, Anatole, heaved a mighty sigh of relief as he deposited his master carefully on his ,bed. "Shall I fetch Mr. Pearson hup stairs, , sir?" he queried, respectfully. | "Anatole,said Carroll, with some little difficulty, "Bob's gone himself; sleep; good-night.? "Now what can he mean by that,'? thought the dignified Anatole, as he softly latched his master's door. "Drown himself. Werry likely he's drunteenough. Well, it hain't none o' my business. Ilello! What's that?" It was the limp figure of'Ifcb slowly creeping up the stairway. It stopped and regarded the butler solemnly. "An'tole," he vouchsafed, gravely, "I'm dead. Drown myself; said I would, told Burton I would, so I did. Always keep promise, An'tole; 'f any­ body calls 'fore I'm up tell' 'em I'm dead--drown myself." Anatole bowed, "¥««(, good night, sir,n * . * * > - * • » -Eight o'clock on a bright summer morning.. Seven Pines, the summer mansion of Mr. Carroll Burton, is strangely quiet. Even the mastiff on the piazza is only half awake, and the droning of a bee is the one sound that disturbs the stillness. The figure of a young girl darts quickly up the pathway which leads to the house, stands irresolutely for a moment before the vdoor and finally pushes the bell. \Anatole himself comes down the hallway and looks curiously at the pretty^ haggard face which greets him as ne turns the corner of the hallway. "Is Mr. Burton at home?" asks Venus timidly. "Yes'm," answered the butler, with a sight elevation of the eyebrows, "but it's only 8 o'clock. Mr. Burton is still in bed. Is the message im­ portant, Miss?" "Oh, very; that is. never mind. Perhaps you can tell me about Bob- Mr. Pearson, I mean." "Yes'm. He's dead. Drowned him­ self." Anatole shook his head sadly. "Say, Anatole, you blithering idiot, I've been yelling at you and punching the bell for seventeen hours. Get me some hot water and towels and a B. and S., and be lively about it, you hoary-headed son of toil." "Yes, sir," answered the unmoved Anatole. "There's a lady to see you, sir, in the parlor." "You lie!" shouted the incensed Carroll from the next floor. "Hurry up with my wat^r, will you?** "But--" The noise. of hastily descending footsteps was heard and Burton ap­ peared in his shirt sleeves and with his face covered with shaving soap. "Venus," hestammerd. "You." "Yes, me," sobbed Mistress Venus, "and you are a miserable wretch to go and let Bob drown himself. I loved him and I hate you. And I'm going to drown myse.f too, so I am and, oh, oh, oh--!' Venus threw herself prone upon the oak settee and gave way toTiolent weeping. Bob stole silently down the stairs and over to where Carroll stood in blank dismay, regarding the scene. He knelt down and put his strong arms about Marjorie. Half an hour later they were eating breakfast together as happily aslf nothing had ever happened. Venus grew suddenly sober.. •'Bob," she said, tenderly, "you are not feel­ ing well. Your eyes are red and your face is just as pale!" "My darling," sighed Bob, very feelingly, "I have passed a miserable night." "He wa^ quite overcome, I assure you, Miss Marjorie," asserted Carroll, gravely. ' 'He could scarcely rise from his chair." A sad smile overspread the stolid face of thebutlet. "MissElmore,"he murmured, with a deprecating shake of the head. "I came near going for the doctor. Would you believe it, ma'am, I hactually 'ad to carry- Mr. Pearson hupstairs, he was that weak." Venus rubbed her cheek softly against the sleeve of Bob's coat. \ "Bob," she said with a deep air of conviction, "you're the nicest person that ever was--much too nice forme." And I honestly believe that she thought so.--Utica Globe. Bow th# Anelenta Telegraphed. The ancient Greeks and Romans practiced telegraphy with the help of pots filled with straw arid twigs satu­ rated in oil, which, being placed in rows, expressed certain letters accord­ ing to the order in which they were lighted; but the only one of their con­ trivances that merits a detailed de­ scription was that invented by a Grecian General named iEneas, who flourished in the time of Aristotle, intended for communication between the Generals of an army. It consisted of two exactly similar earthen vessels filled with witer, each provided with a cock that would discharge au equal quantity of water in a given time, so that €he whole or any part of the con­ tents would escape in precisely the same period frorfl both vessels. On the surface of each floated a piece of cork supporting an upright marked off into divisions, each divi- sion having a certain sentence in- scribed upon it. One of the vessels was placed at each station and when either party desired to communicate he lighted a torch, which he held aloft until the other did the same as a sign that he was all attention. On the sender of the message lowering orex tinguishing his torch each party im­ mediately opened the cock of his ves­ sel, and so left it until the sender re­ lighted his torch, when it was at once closed. The receiver then read the sentence on the division of „the up. right that was level with the mouth of the vessel, and which, if every­ thing had been executed with exact­ ness, corresponded with that of the sender, and so conveyed the desired information. The first electric tele­ graph at all deserving the name Was invented by Messrs. Cooke and Whcatstone and was laid on the Loot don and Blackwell railway in June, 1837.--.Spare Moments. , , A Kind or Madneaa. A^ra^ice certainly seems Mftrt- ffice a madness than a crime. The miser is like the fool who would spend hia life in accumulating lakes of pure, cold water, and yet suffer thirst. What is money but the representative of things for use and enjoyment? Then what is the hoarder of gold but a crazy fellow who thinks more oi the key to a palace than of all the comforts and beauty stored in iU drown |V 9KOBBl.eW8 REVBNOB^;;'-:;| Bow the Great ftuaalan General BtlMui th« Caer'a1 Insult. during the Busso-Turkish war, the day after the passage of the Danube had been made good, the Emperor of Russia crossed the river to congratu­ late and thankt his gallant soldiers. In front of the long, massive line formed on the slope below Sistova, awaiting the coming of the Great White Czar, stood Dragomiroff, Yol- chine and Skobeleff--the three gener­ als who had been the leaders of the successful attempt. Dragomiroff, the divisional cpmmander, the Emperor embraced and gave him the Cross of St. George; he shook hands warmly with Yolchine, the brigade command-, er, and gave him, too, a St. George to add to the decorations which this Cheery little warrior had been gather­ ing from boyhood in the Caucasusand Central Asia. Then the Emperor strode to where Skobeleff stood, and men watched the little scene with interest, for it was notorious that Skobeleff was in disfa­ vor with his sovereign, and yet of him the camp was ringing with the story of hts conduct on the previous morning. Would Alexander main­ tain his umbrage ot- would he make it manifest that it had been dispelled by Skobeleff's heroism? For at least a minute the Czar hesitated, as the two tall, proud soldierly men con­ fronted each other; you could trace in his countenance the struggle between disapproval and appreciation. It was soon over--and the wrong way for Skobeleff. The Emperor frowned, turned short on his heel, and strode abruptly away, without a word or a gesture of greeting or recognition. A man of strong prejudices, he was hot yet able to exorcise from his mind the character of Skobeleff. That officer, for his part, flushed scarlet, then grew deadly pale, and seemed to con­ quer an impulse as he set his teeth hard and maintained his disciplined immobility. It was a fragrant insult, in the very face of the army, and a gross injus­ tice, but Skobeleff endured it in a proud silence that seemed to me very grand, nor did I ever hear him allude to the slur. The time soon came to that gallant and brilliant soldier when he could afford to be magnani­ mous. As the campaign progressed, he distinguished himself again and again, so that his name became a syn- nonym in the army for splendid dar­ ing as well as for opportune skill. On the 3d of September, Skobeleff, after exploit on exploit, devised and ted the storm of the Turkish position an Loftcha, and drove hi3 adversaries out of the strong place. On the fol­ lowing night, at his own dinner-ta­ ble, in the Gorni Studen headquar­ ters, the Emperor stood up and bade his guests to honor with him the toast qf "Skobeleff, the Hero of Loftcha!" It is not givep to many men to earn a revenge so full and so grand as that. --Archibald Forbes, in Nineteenth Dentury. "IO-HOIIM-HO!" p Any ofce vrho has been ^ship­ board,'or along shore where weights are to be raised b^ means of ropes drawn over pulleys, has observed the peculiar magnetism which there is about the action of a number of men together in this way, and particularly about the cry of "Yo-heave-ho! Yo- heave-ho!" which accompanies it, Often men whose duties do not call upon them to take part in this work, and who a moment ago were content to be perfectly inactive spectators, have been seen to seize the ropes and pull with all their might and main with the rgst. "Yo^heave-Kdk^ Yo-heave-ho!" The spectator hears the music of this traditional cry which, in a form not very different from that in which it nuwj strikes his ear, was used in Greece and Egypt for a similar pur­ pose. It stirs up in his breast the instinctive poetic feeling, and fills him with a longing to join his fellows in the task. But perhaps more potent? thin the sound of the "Yo-heave-ho-o" is the mere sight of men "all pulling to­ gether." What several others, stand­ ing close together, are doing all at once on perfectlv equal terms, is just what one wants to do himself, es­ pecially if all the others are doing it with a good heart, and with a song. "Why," said one well-dressed man who had taken hold of a tarry rope when the cry of "heave-ho" had be­ gun, "it's play to pull on a rope with a lot of other fellows, no matter how hard you have to pull." "It was "play" because these men were pulling all together. It was the participation--the spirit of fellow­ ship that went with it--which made it sport and not any mere fascination about pulling on a rope* This is the explanation of much downright hard work that is done in sports and games. Whatj the men and boys who take part in them are seeking is the fun of "pulling all to­ gether." Machinery has relieved men and women of much hard work, but it has. also, in a considerable degree, taken the "fun" out of hard work--the old- fashioned "hurrah-boys" waj of work­ ing, in which comp^rAonship aui good spirit? went with hard toil. It has thrown men more upon themselves; each one attends his ma­ chine or his part of it, and though his work maj»* not. tax. his muscle heavily, it often becomes a wearisome routine with him. In the tasks and burdens of life, a great deal may be gained, both in re­ sults and in individual cheerfulness and happiness, by ' introducing the same spirit which men feel when they shout "heave-hd-o" and pull all to­ gether upon a rope. Companionship is a very good substitute for a steam- engine.--Youth's Companion. •f' Telephon e Complication*. - 1 One of the young ladies at the^^tofe. phone central office has a singularly pleasing voice, and it is just possible that her features just match it, says the Brooklyn Life. It is just as well right here to give the reader to understand that no names are to be mentioned; they are suppressed in the interest of a gentleman who holds a public office and was talked of for mayor. His clerk, who usually did the telephoning, never spoke to the central office girl without a term of endearment. The discussion over the wires generally began with: "Is up with: spaciovjaJaallsan4 clmube^--<-BQf»toD 1 the wires generally began wj Herald* ' | that you, dear?" and wound "Good-by, darling!" In the absenct of the clerk the distinguished man went to the telephone in person, Central promptly answered, and fail­ ing to recognize the voice asked, "It that you, dear?" "No, darling,-' re­ sponded the distinguished public man, "it's the other fellow." It is th« good fortune of some wives to make their appearance just in the nick of the most exasperating time. That is what happened in this instance. Be­ hind the distinguished public man when he said "No, darling, it's the other fellow," stood his wife, who had concluded to visit her husband that morning. She startled him by ex­ claiming: "Well, I like that!" Did She? • . 1'hantom Partlea. The old "phantom party* Idea, renovated by the witchery of a "web of fate," is with us again. The phantom costume consists, as every one knows, of a large enveloping sheet, a pillow case with apertures for the eyes, or a mask shrouded with a pillow case, about the head. Cos­ tumed in this ghostly attire the host­ ess receives her guests in silence. She greets them without words and mo­ tions them to the toilet rooms, from which they em<£ge clad in the white disguise. Each phantom guest re­ ceives on entering the parlor a single bright thread of the "web of fate." This thread is of a bright-colored twine how to be purchased in the shops, and is about twenty yards in length. It is suspended from some conspicuous place over the chande­ lier, the doorway, or a picture, and thence pursues its intricate and wind­ ing way over the doorways, behind bookcases, up stairs and down again, even out-of-doors and into kitchens, until finally, in some secret place, it is tied about the hidden "fate." These "fates" are written upon rolls of paper, and set forth the des­ tiny of the person for whom each is prepared. On the cleverness of the hostess in writing prophecies in ac­ cordance with the whims and hob­ bies of each guest, as well as the hu­ mor and wit desirable in the compo- sition, depends the success of the en­ tertainment. Quotations are also made to do duty in this capacity when originality and ingenuity are lacking. Each of the strings in the net must be of a decided tint con­ trasting with all the others as they cross and recross many times in the disentangling. Th6y must also be oi the same length, as a prize is given to the phantom who first discovers the roll of fate. The quest is pur­ sued in silence, which is broken only when the fates are all found and read aloud to the assembly. Then there are unmasking and hilarity galore. Enlarging the Abbey. and poets have had theii burial in Westminster Abbey. Long before the Reformation, the church was not only a royal burial-place, but had seen coronations, royal weddings and christenings. Edmund Spenser was the first poet whose burial in the abbey was distinctly a tribute to his fame. Although Chaucer had preceded him, it was rather as clerk of the royal works that he was given such high distinction. After that, Eng­ land continued to allot places there to all whom she delighted to honor, bui she will soon be in the embarrassing position of having no more space/to offer. A hundred years ago, a French writer made the statement that "The people are not more crowded in the streets of London than are the funeral monuments in the Abbey." About the same time, a mock "peti­ tion from posterity" appeared in one of the newspapers, urging the coun­ try to provide space for the coming generations of distinguished men. Year after year the overcrowding has continued, until now there is almost no space for added memorials, and room for but few burials. A Royal Commission was some time ago appointed to consider the question of m^King an addition to the Abbey, but is has as yet broached no suggestion which is universally accep­ table. So sacred an edifice is this church, in the minds of all English- speaking people, that it can scarcely be altered or enlarged without offense to some autiquarian soul. Why the Groom Chose a Woman Preacher. After he had congratulated his old chum and wished him all the luck in the world, he said: "By the way, you were married by a woman, weren't you?" "Yes--the Rev. Isabel Dixon." "Oh, well, of course, it's all right,, but it seems sort of strange." •It's just as binding as it would be if the ceremony was performed by a man.'? I know it, but I don't believe I could get used to it. The bride's idea, I suppose?" "No; mine." "Yours! Good heavens, man! I should have thought you " * "Well, I did at first. I preferred® man, and we had one #11 picked out, but the bride and her pai-ents rathe* favored some old customs that I com- batted unsuccessfully." "Such as what?" "Such as letting the minister kiss the bride." "Oh! that's why you " "That's exactly why;"--Chicago Tribune. . . ' The Steel LIU boat a. The latest form of lifeboats are built of steel, and possess the invalu- able quality of being unsinkable ajnd self-righting. The fore and aft sec- tions of the boat are constructed in the form of hollow cone, thoroughly air imd water-tight, atKl their pecu- liar form imparts immense strength and rigidity to the whole structure. In an emergency the steel boat can be thrown overboad bodily without the formality and care attendant on the use of boat-lowering gear, so, no mat­ ter how the l^oat alights in the water, it will float on an even keel and can­ not possibly swamp. Mo Wedding Uflts Wante^, The marriage of Samuel W. Smltlf, Jr., of the. firm of Stephens, Lincoln & Smith, of this city, with Miss Olive Douglass Pekins, took place recently. The invitations to this wedding were extraordinary in one respect. At tho foot of the beautifully engraved page are the words: "It is kindly request­ ed that gifts be omitted-"--Cj ofiiaaafcl Commercial-Gazette. •'GLASS IN OLD EGYPT. IMaaiMoWera Mail* a flood and Showed Great Tania. The glass blowers of Thebes were as great proficients in their art as, possi­ bly greater than, we are after the lapse of nearly forty centuries of progress and retrogression. They possessed the art of staining glass, and they produced their commodity in the utmost profusion. Rosellinx gives an illustration of a piece o' stained glass of considerable taste ot design and beauty of color, in which the color is struck through the whole verified structure, and there are in­ stances of the design being equally struck through pieces of glass half an inch thick, perfectly incorporated With the structure, and appearing the same on both the obverse and the re­ verse side. The priests of Ftah, at Memphis, were great glassmakers ahd, says one authority, "not only had factories for common glass, but, profiting their discovery of the property of oxides of metals, which they got from India, of vitrifying different colors, conceived the project of imitating all the precious stone which y commerce brought them from that country." They were favored by nature, more­ over in having at hand an unlimited supply of pure sand and kali; and their glass derived its good quality as well from these substances as from the further fact that in its prepara­ tion they utilized the ashes of a peculiar genus of kelp that grew in abundance by the Lake Mareotls and the Red Sea. They imitated ame­ thysts and other precious stones with wonderful dexterity; and, besides the art of staining glass, they must have been aware of the use of the diamond in cutting it and engraving it; for in the British Museum there is a piece of exquisitely-stained glass, of Thoth- mos III. (Circa 1500 B. C.), skillfully engraved with that' monarch's em­ blazonment by the hand of a master. The priests were to the people of early Egypt pretty much what monks like Roger Bacon-were to the early middle ages--they were the great scholars and exemplars of the learn­ ing of their day, and held the keys of all the arts then known. But they differed from the monks in this that whereas the latter imparted their knowledge only to a few, the others taught it broadcast and let the people benefit by it. How they discovered the art is a matter concerning which nothing can be gathered, probably be­ cause the discovery went too far back in the national history. They them­ selves averred that the great god Ftah, whose servants they were, and who invented the universe, had taught thenithe art; but this is only tradition, and iiT conformity with a habit men have of ascribing simple luxuries to the direct mediation of the gods.--Chambers' Journal. * The Tooth ot the Foot. Has the fool better teeth than the wise man? asks the Pall Mall Budget. He ought to have, if the theory put forward by the President of the British Dental Association to account for the deterioration of the British tooth be correct. Smith Turner says: "Another competitor with the teeth for sustenance is the brain. Phos­ phorous is one of the great essentials to the center of the nervous system. In starvation certain organs are the latest to suffer and are nourished and sustained at the expense of the rest of the body. One of these organs is notably the brain, and so we are en­ titled to infer that in any deficiency of the phosphates the ever active brain, with its copious circulation and energetic metabolism, is more likely to appropriate its full, or ap­ proximately full, share of the phos­ phates than the teeth, where hitherto we had hardly looked for the cata- bolic process." It- is, at any rate, some satisfaction to reflect that if the world is becom­ ing more toothless it is at the same time becoming more wise. But will not the phrase "wisdom tooth" want amending if progress in wisdom en­ tails not the gain of teeth, but the loss of them? Mont., days in Out of Bla Turns John H. Curtis,'of Butte tells this story of the early that city: "The first meal I ate in the place was at a restaurant where they charged $16 a week for board. The waiter was a half-breed Mexican. He came into the room with a big revol­ ver and a bowie knife buckled around him. In one hand he carried a coffee­ pot and in the other a tea-pot. When he reached the door he shouted 'cups up!'--meaning chose who wanted tea or coffee should turn up their cups, which were placed on the table tops down in order to keep out the ants. One chap, a new man, called out, 'Waiter, please bring me some meat.' The waiter put down his coffee and tea and, hauling out his revolver, shouted, 'What d----d idiot's callin' for somethln' out'n his turn?' A tragedy was averted by the new man jumping out of a window." Dm Yon Bat ChaeaeT A Swiss scholar has been taking a census of the inhabitants of a cheese. The microscopic examination of one gram of fresh cheese, such as is sold under the name of Gruyere, contained no fewer than 90,000 so-called mi­ crobes. This prodigions encampmefft, after seventy days, proved to have in­ creased to a tribe of 800,000. An­ other sort of cheese contained, with­ in a single gram, board and lodging for about 2,000,000 microbes, while in a gram cut from the rind of the same cheese he found about 5,000,000 of these inhabitants. A piece of cheese upon our tables, of a few pounds' weight, may consequently contain more microbe inhabitants than there are human inhabitants in the whole world*--Commercial Advertiser. an Alarm-Clock Van ,f* Aii' alarm-clock, with proper" Ircat- jment, can be transformed from a ^pestilential nuisance into a friend and sweet companion. All that is necessary is to set it ten or fifteen minutes ahead of the true time. Then all you have to do is to turn over and wait for the ten or fifteen minutes' grace to expire, in doing which, of course, you secure a good half hour or more of baimy sleep.-- ikwtouTranscripb. ^ another woman! •--the one who's used Dr. Pierce's' Favorite Prescription. She's stronger and a happier woman-* and a healthy one. The aches, f>ains, and weaknesses, that wMyjfa ife miserable are gone--the func­ tional disturbances or irregularities that caused them have been cured. Face and figure show the change^ too. Health has restored tke charms that rightfully belong to her. For all the weaknesses and! ailments peculiar to womanhood,' " Favorite Prescription" is a post* tive remedy. No other medicine; for women is guaranteed, as this to give satisfaction in every case» or the money is refunded. It's pro­ prietors are willing to take the risk. What it has done, warrants thfMa in guaranteeing what it will da \ It's the cheapest medicine yoK can buy, because it's ffuaranteea give satisfaction, or your money lit returned. Tou only pay for the good get. Can you ask more f That's the peculiar plan all DlVi Pierce's medicines are sold on. Z"'W Common MSoap- -A ' J : Lots Clothes ' v Chaps Hands. -j VcTol Perfectly Well. • , Fhxhobk, Dubuque Co., I&., Sept., 1889. ' Miss K. Flnnigan yrritea: My mother and •later used Pastor Eoenig'e Nerve Ibalt !• Beuralgik They are both perfectly weU nop, •Dd never tire of pratalng the Tonio. . ; . . . . Bock Island, 111.. Nov. 36,1888., I I naa bees a sufferer for eight long yeanL., when Bev. Nwrmoui, of Davenport, Im eaUed my attention to Koentg't Nerve Tonto. I would know a few momenta Mforehud that I waa going to have a apaam. When It WC oome on, my head would turn aldewayf. eveg roll about, my handa oluteh ud | tightly everything they oaue in oontMt wltL would froth at the mouth. When 1 omm wl the Bpaama, I would look wildly about M" aaleep a few mibutea. Koenlg't Nerve . _ had the moat beneficial effeot, ud 1 Ma UMM fui for the boon i he medloina^brou|j|l ^ '*Vj3BI (KILL Thia remedy ha* been prepared by the AlfMMA Pastor Koenlg, of Port Wa*iie. Ind» ajMee UH Ml {•now prepared under tla direoUon by the KOENIC MED. OO., Ohicago, III. f Sold by Drngrglata at SI per Bottle. OfbrVflL Xaree81xe.Sl.7fi. 6 BotUoa tor SO. _~j PUREBLOOD* GOOD DIGESTION, SOUND SLEEP, * SWEET BREATH,1 1/ CLEAR COMPLEXION,; BRIGHT EYES, GOOD HEALTH* ' HAPPINESS AND LONG LIFE SECURED BY USINQ . ' "" DR. WHITE'S "" DANlDELION Alterative., It costs but $1 for a large bottle, and everji bottle is warranted. I ' I » s dm* CREAIUiALMCATABR^ Cleanaea the Nasal Pauages, AUaya Pain and Inflammation, CAtIRR* Heals the Sore*, Restores the Senses of Taste and Smell* TRY THE CURE IHAY-FEV A particle ie applied into each nostril and la able. Price 50 oenta at Drug* iata or by maU. ELY BROTHERS, 56 Warren Street. New York.; THE SMALLEST PILLIH THEWMUI TTTTT'S 3 •tiny uver puxsv . have aU the virtnea of the larger ones 5 A J equally effective; purely vegetable. W Exact al*e aliown in this border. FAT FOLKS REDUCE! Mr*. Alio* Maple. Oregon, He., writ I \ MI 1 i"Mjr weight was 320 ponnda, now it ial are the Oldest .Moat JEfllclenf NT SOLICITORS grind mm, Ap?po WK^MIIXS'i^S rAjimj Circulars and testimonials seat o* LSON BROS.. EASTON.PA, ,, Jf! Vvii ' • c HWIiHB Coaiamptlvea and people who have wea% lungs or Aith- n>a. ahould use Piso's Care for Oonanmpiion. It haa eared theaaantia. nhaa not Injur­ ed one. U is not bad to take. It la the beat cough ayrnpt Sold everywhere, lit, ' O N ^ I j M P i" ' O N