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McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 14 Dec 1898, p. 3

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WTt1 ,-•>1 S>-7l &•• .t«i DM9"1 „evtr SCCASMV sura ID saaer? •e never did; bat we have seen the clothing at this time of the year so covered with dandruff that it looked as if it had been out in a regular snow­ storm. No nesdof this snowstorm. As the summer sun would mett the falling snow so will Auer's Hair vigor melt these flakes of dandruff in die scalp. It goes further than this: it prevents their formation. . Ir has still other properties: it will restore color to gray hair in just ten times out of every ten cases. And it does even more: it feeds and nourishes the roots of the hair. Thin hair becomes thick hair; and short hair be­ comes long Ijair. We have a book on the Hair and Scalp. It is yours, for the asking. If you do not obtain all the bene&ta you expected from the u*« of the Vigor, write the doctor about It. Probably thuv 1* «orae difficulty with your gen­ eral srntom which may be easily re- muted. AddTM*, DR. J. C. AtKK, fceirelt, Han. Whiskers flygtf ANmtwml Biaok by Budungham's Dye. MM M cent* of all druggists «C ®. P. Hall A Co., Nashua. N.K. Don't Rent * ii ESTABLISH A HOME OF YOUR OWN* Ton can do it. The finest sgricul- -tarsi land in the world lies West of the Mississippi River. Prices are low and farmers are prosperous. You cao get valuable information by reading "THB CORN BELT," which is the handsomest farm paper ever published. It is beau­ tifully illustrated and contains exact and strictly truthful information about •the West. Issued monthly. Seod25C. lot & year's subscription to "THB Com Sauc," aog Adams St., Chicago. lUs. ONE GOOD DEALER WANTED In every towm. NOXALL PURE MIXED PAINTS Finest and mart durable. Colors always uttom and guaranteed. ENTERPRISE MINT MFG. CO.. Makers, Chicago. Ml Soma Corrections. Horatius never defended the bridge. The story was manufactured by the same gifted author who gave the world the account of Scaevola's heroism. Blonde], the harper, did not discover the prison of King Richard. Richard paid bis ransom, and the receipt for it is among the Austrian archives. Queen Elizabeth was not tho angelic creature represented in -the histories and poems of her own times. Her hair was red, her temper red hot. She some­ times drank too much, and at any prov­ ocation would curse like a trooper. She frequently swort at her maids, and sometimes struck, kicked and pinched them. < Mary Stuart Of Scotland was not a beauty. She had cross eyes, and, to save the trouble of having-her hair dressed, cut it off close to her head and wore a wig. When, after her death, the executioner lifted her head to show It to the people, the wig came off and showed a close cropped skull, covered with gray hair. Vinegar will not split rocks, so Han­ nibal could not thus have made his way through the Alps. Nor will it dissolve pearls, so that the story of Cleopatra drinking pearls melted in vinegar must have been a fiction. Tbe blood of Rifczio, Mary -Stuart's favorite, cannot be seen on the floor where he was murdered by Dflruley and the other conspirators. What is seen there is a daub of red paint, annually renewed for the benefit of gaping tour­ ists. DIE EXCELLENCE OF SHOT OF FIGS If due not only to the originality and •bnplicity of the combination, but also to the care and skill with which it is • manufactured by scientific processes known to the CA.LIFOBN.IA FIG SYRUP Co. only, and we wish to impress upon • all the importance of purchasing the 'true and original remedy. As the genuine Syrup of Figs ismantffactured *>Y the CALIFORNIA Fte SYRUP CO. 'Only, a knowledge of that fact will • assist one in avoiding tbe 'worthless imitations manufactured by other par- ' ties. The high standing <Of the CALI- > VORNIA Fio SYRUP Co. wiih the medi- • cal profession, and the satisfaction •which the genuine Syrup-of > Figs has .given to millions of families, makes • the name of the Company a guaranty • of the excellence of its remedy. It is in advance of all other laxatives, as it acts on the kidneys, liver and 'bowels without irritating or weaken- ;ing them, and it does not grripe nor ? nauseate. In order to get^ts beneficial •effects, please remember <the' name of .the Company -- CALIFORNIA FIG STKUP CO. SAX nUSOISOa, Cal. IWCBTOU, Kr. Rnr TORS. If. T. CCRKU Lncal an1 Internal treat­ ment. Formula filled anywh-re. With full dlr^c ions on receipt or a McBKlDE. Comanche. Texas. DM TCIIT»°cu^d or Bssey *11 fttvratd. Search fra% • HILII I Collamer A CO. »FSt- Waahingtoi>J).G> 11 8. N. V. No. 51--98 Tbe World's Supply of Wheat. An English expert claims that the wheat producing soil of the world is unequal to tbe strain that will be put upon it. Even now when the food supply is ample, thou­ sands die because their disordered stom­ achs fail to digest the food they take. Hostetter's Stomach Bitters strengthen and tone up the stomach and digestive or­ gans. A Great Find, "I have Just run across a wonderful book of poems--something altogether unique." "In what way is the book so unlike other books of poejry?" "The author doesn't sign his first and second names in full--only tbe Initials^' tn Winter Use Allen's Foot̂ Ene. A powder to be shaken into the shoes. During winter your feet feel uaooinfort- able. nervous, and often cold and damp. If you have perspiring, smarting feet or tight shoes, try Allen's Foot-Ease. It warms and rests the feet nud makes walking easy. Cures swollen and •sweating feet, blisters and callous spots Relieves corns and bunions of all pain and is a certain cure for chilblains and frost bites. Try it to-<day. Sold by all druggists and shoe stores for 25c. Trial package mailed FREE. Address Allen S. "Olmsted, Le Roy, N. Knew Their Significance, Henry Peck--It's curious that in se­ lecting war Jewelry men favored cart­ ridges and women swords. Mrs. Henry Peck--Not at all! The -sword Is the weapon of command!--The Jewelers' Weekly. | SEAL| -STATE or OHIO, CITY OF TOLEDO, I LUCAS <3OUNTY. J ••* FRANK J. CIIKNEY makes oatli tnat he Is the senior partner of the firm of F. J. CHENEY & Co.. doing business In the City of Toledo. County and State aforesaid, and that said lirni will pav the sum of ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS for each and every case of Catarrh that cannot be cured by the use of HALL'S CATAHRH CURK. FRANK J. CHENEY. Sworn to before me and subscribed in my pres­ ence, this 6th day of December, A. D. 1888. A. W. GLEASON. AToter* Puittc. Hall's Catarrh Cure Is taken Internally, and acts directly on the blood and mucous surfaces of tbe system. Send for testimonials, free. F. J. CHENEY ft <X>^To«e«e,0 >IV8old by Druggists, 75c. One on the Calf. He--They say that a person gradual ly becomes more or less a part of wfeat he eats the most of. She--Well. I shouldn't be surprised if that were so. I've noticed that you are particularly fond of veaL Try Grain-O! Try Orala^M Ask your Grocer to-day to show yon a packageof GRAIN-O, ttoe new food drink that takes the place of coffee. Tbe chil­ dren may driuk it without injury as well as the adult. AU who try it. like it. GRAIN-O has that rich seal brown of Mocha or Java, but it is made froao .pure grains, and the most delicate stomach re­ ceives it without distress. Vi the price of coffee. 15c. aud 25 cts. per package. Sold by all grocers. Wonderful. "There is positively the dumbest man I ever saw. Why, that follow doesn't know anything!" "Aud yet he is chief assistant in bis wife's intelligence office." Makes the Muaclea Stroiic. From hard work or excessive exereise soreness and stiffness sets in and lays up. St. Jacobs Oil will cure it after a few applications and make tbe rausctes limber and strong. Insulted. "I Suffered nearly all nigbt froui in­ somnia." said the drummer. "I'll bet you $2." roared the country landlord. ")bat they ain't one of 'em In my house."--Indianapolis Journal. Coughing Leads to Conaumptioa. Kemp's Balsam will stop the cough at once. Go to your druggist to-day and get a sample bottle free. Sold in 25 and 50 cent bottles. Go at once; delays are dan­ gerous. A Professional Opinion. Crusty Old Bachelor-^Ah, me! Roses fade, little girl. Mamie ttlie flower girl)--Yes, sir lt'd toe bad for trade if they didn't!--Pock. ' To Cure a Cold in One Dar Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All drugeists refund the money if it fails tocure. 26c. The genuine has L. B. Q. on each tablet. Our first impulses are good, generous, feeroical; reflection weakens and kill*. them.--L. A. Martin. , Mm. Wlnslow'S SOOTHIHO STBOP for Chlldraa teetbins: aoltcae the prone, reduces inflsminattoa. »n.Ta pain, cures wind colic. 25 cents a bottle. WANTED.--Case of baa health that RIP-AN-S wW apt .benefit. Send 5 cents to Rtpans Chemical Oow Hir fork, for 10 samples aa4IjUO testimonials. Observe your enemies, for they first find out your faults.--Antisthenes. CASTOR IA For Infants and Children. Hit Kind Yob Have Always Bought Bears the Signature of CCTtBS TUB DKINI HABIT- prevent! es txsftfijni flnnmur m THE OLD FARM. t lore to dream about the day% '•* I spent upon the farm; g# The theme is rich iu memories -- >• * That never lole their charm*.:, , !; Though early lured away by tales Of traffic's golden rain, , • How oft, how oft I've longed ti> tunl-'^ Back to the farm again! I've toiled for gain in busy mafta And scorned the paths of ease; s I've wooed with fervor fortune's SinileSt, Across the briny seas; But neither fableid wealth of Ind »J Nor fame's ambrosial wine " ^ Could e'er afford the lost delights i\:. Of that old home of mine. " : ? There every humble duty bore . ^ ^ f>t rich reward its meed, "• = And sweet approval gave a sutile ; For every kiudly deed; There peaceful sleep did wait upon Each day of toil and care, And hope gave strength each dawning day, Its burden new to bear. There peaceful scenes on every hand Did e'er beguile the eye; The woods, the hills: the winding-streams, Reflecting azure sky; ,> The kine. contented, browsing o'er • The blossom broidered wold; The ewes and lambs, at wane of day, . ^Returning to the fold-- . ( All fiiled my littie world with joy - And bade brief sorrows fly. As soothes the infant's griefs away. A mother's lullaby. . Nor sordid aims did mar the flow Of innocent delight, While honor's precepts were instilled With love's persuasive might. Then take me back, oh, take me back To that fair spot once more, To me more lovely than the famed Estates of classic lore! Oh, take me back and let me rest There, safe from grief and harm. To spend my brief declining days Upon the dear old farm! --Chicago Democrat. HER NliXT MOTE. GERALDINE FOWLER sorted her mail somewhat listlessly. Some of the envelopes held rejec­ tions. She could tell them by their plumpness. There seemed to be an un­ usual number this morning. There were one or two acceptances. She smiled as she drew the checks from their envelopes and laid them carefully away. It had paid, after all, her coming to New York. She had gained her experience and broadened her outlook. Yet, perhaps, it had made her restless as well. She certainly had be«n, since Godfrey Taylor crossed her path. A tronMetl look came into he/eyes as she took up hrs letter and read it. A flirsfc spread over her face. "I thought -so," -she said as she fin­ ished reading and dropped it on the desk. Then, with an impulsive move­ ment, -she leaned forward and burled her head In her hand^. It fead -all come so rapidly, this new emotion, l^ess than three weeks ago 8he>had forgotten the existence of God­ frey Taylor. To-be sure, she dimly- re­ called the gay times she had had with him one summer, and her admiration of him because he r/as an editor, and could talk familiarly of books and dra­ matic events. She had even fancied she liked him, but he had gone out of her .'life. Suddenly she had heard from him. He had seen a story of hers and had written. This had been followed by other letters, and here was the culmi­ nation: ' _ I have not found you to lose you. I want you to marry me at once. Come to Washington for the fall, enjoy all the ad­ vantages^! can give you. You can go into society--I have means--you can entertain literary people and indulge your fondness for the stage, which 1 remember, aud in January we will go abroad. I shall prob­ ably be appointed to some office there. Her eyes glistened. "It is what I have always wanted," she murmured. "Aud Edward " She stopped. The faithfal lover at home had hardly entered h^r mind. "Well, I could not go ba*k there any way and be content," she sighed. "My life here has spoilectall-that. _ He must wake from his drerftn sooner or later. He told me to be free; I will be free." She arose from her chair and pushed {back the scattered papers. "I will be. free to live mjr fife in tliis glorious fashion that is offered me. It belongs to me. I was made for Just such a life." She smiled triumphantly. Then she seized the pen and directed an envelope to a little far-away country town. "I am tired of it all," she wrote on a slip of paper. She paused. "The truth will come later," she said, as she hastily added. "My next move will surprise you." Then she wrote to the other one. "You may come if you like," she said; "I shall be glad to see you, and per­ haps " She left it here. « * » * * • • • Edward Wberrltt entered the post- office with an eager step. A glad light crept into his eyes as he saw the fa­ miliar handwriting, and a thrill of pleasure ran through the man as he took the letter from the postmistress. His hand trembled a bit, insomuch that some papers fell to the floor, and he laughed a happy laugh as he bent and picked them up. Then he slipped them all Into his pocket and turned away. It was a los® time since he had heard from her. His haud closed tightly upon the letter in iais pocket It was there now, fresh from her hand. He would not hasten to read it. It was there-- ably it was but a hurried note, to tell !of some sudden pleasure she wanted to ^hare with him. His heart gave a bound. Any way, it was from her--that was enough. The words were so few. "My next more may surprise yon," he repeated. A quick fear seised his heart He turned the page for more, but that was all. Not even a signature. "She must have left out the rest by mistake," he said, as he held the open page in his hand. "But whatever the move is, I know it must be right." His eyes traveled fondly to> the face shilling down the wall. \ . * • • • • • . • He rose early the next morning. It was only just growing light, bu^t his sleep had been broken, and he would go down to the early mail and see if the rest of the letter had not come. Surely Geraldine would send it when she found it had been left out. He could even fancy'ihe little laugh she would •give when she discovered it, and how quickly she would enclose it in another envelope and add a few words as to her carelessness. , lie pictured it all In his mind, as he swung through the village street with an eager tread. The kittle office was not open. The morning train was hot due yet Slowly he wandered toward the station, and stood gazing down the track from whence his letter would com£. He stamped his feet a bit Impatiently, and took out his watch. It was cpmihg at last! With a roar that would seem to waken the yet sleeping people, the train drew in. The morning papers and the mail bag were thrown out on to the platform. The roll of papers bounded away into the wet grass. He sprang after thetn with a laugh. The early morning air was exhilarat­ ing. lie ; rasped them in his hand and waved theiu triumphantly at the bag­ gage master as he leaned out of th^ door of his car. " . Then he turned. A woman-stood be­ side him. "I have come home," Geraldine said. For an Instant he gazed at her with startled eyes. Then with a quick move­ ment he gathered her into his big arms and drew her close. Her tired head fell on to his strong shoulder, and the sad, pleading eyes were hidden from view. Her hat fell unheeded to the ground, as he kissed hair and forehead again and again. This was her next move.--The House­ wife. CHINESE LOADED WITH MONEY. Hei arkable Discovery In the Clothing of Two California. Celestials. The turnkeys in the Los Angeles county Jail had an interesting experi­ ence recently on the arrival of two Chi­ nese from San Diego, pending deporta­ tion. Tfte men had been searched by the San Diego officers, and were re­ ported to have no articles on their per­ sons, but the Los Angeles jail officials thought it would be Just as well to ap­ ply their methods of investigation, and the outcome was a lot of money, nug­ gets and gold dust. The coolies had little packages of gold dust carefully packed away be­ tween each toe; others were braided into the strands of their queues; bank notes were cleverly stitched into the lining of their hats and the creases of their clothes. In fact, almost every place, mentionable and unmentionable, where coin, bills or gold dust could be hidden, contained its quota, the total found amounting to something over $40, in bills, as much more in silver, and no one knows exactly how much in gold- dust from Lower California mines. The money of course belongs to the Chinese, but if they had been allowed to keep It on their persons while locked up, they would surely have been robbed of every cent of It by the other prison­ ers.--San Francisco Examiner. Paying a Delicate Compliment. A Scotch farmer, celebrated in his neighborhood for his immense strength and skill in athletic exercises, very fre­ quently had the pleasure of contending with people who came to try their strength against his. Lord D., a great pugilistic amateur, went from London on purpose to fight the athletic Scot. The latter was working hard in an in- closure at a little distance from his house when the noble lord arrived. His lordship tied his horse to a tree near by and then addressed the farmer: "Friend, I have heard marvelous re­ ports of your skill, and have cofhe a long way to see which of us two is the better wrestler." The Scotchman, without answering, «eized the nobleman, pitched him over tbe hedge, and then set about working again. When Lord D. got up "Well," said the farmer, "have you anything to say to me?" "No," replied his lordship, brushing the dust from his clothes, "but perhaps you'd be good enough to throw me my horse!" his. No power on earth cduld take lt| gmall pieces--pennies, dimes, quarters. from him. The light in his eyes grew deeper, and a happy smile played about his mouth. He had sesexaLerrands to do. He must visit the nfeWs stand first There might be something of he£s in one of the magazines. is quick eye caught her name, aftd h>«lipp£d UhO publica­ tion Into bls'jiotffcet ' ** v » Then he finished the ferrands and walked rapidly* toward home, his hand still closed on the lettel*r aind his mind speculating as to 'whaft it would say. Would it teU'of some ng#* success? How proudly be had Vratched her ca­ reer! Perhaps It would say she had de­ cided to stay another six months in New Yt>rk. Well, never mind. He could stand it, and the end would be so much nearer. The letter felt thin. After all, prob- Taught His Wife Finance. Divide anything up into parts and you magnify it, says the New Orleans Times-Democrat. A certain wise man took this way to give his wife an idea of how much $1,000 is. She had no idea if money. Her purchases were enormous. It happened one day that her eyes fell upon a magnificent ring, and she coveted Jt. It cast $1,000. But what was $1,000 to her in comparison with the ring? Of course, her hus­ band consented to the purchase. What else could a dutiful, affectionate hus­ band do? But he tried this method of educating his wife concerning the great price of the ring. He instructed his banker to send her the $1,000 in The French Repair System. Before Mac Adam's time It waa thought necessary to construct stone roads with a foundation of large •tones; the small, broken stone waa then spread over them, and traffic was {depended on to consolidate them Into a smooth and hard roadway. Moreover, In France, upright protruding stones were placed at the edges of the founda­ tion, in order to enclose the smaller stone. These roads were often two feet deep, and yet they wore badly into ruts. When the holes were filled travel avoided the repaired spots and ww ruts were formed. MacAdam did away with the large stone foundation, and showed that small material, properly laid and com­ pacted, would distribute the pressure equally on the real road beneath, and also serve to effectually shed the water which fell upon it. The new system was economical and simple, but it had what seemed at first to be one draw­ back: the roads required constant watching and frequent repairs. This, however, is regarded as really a bless* lug. as the construction of the roads makes it easy to keep them in condi­ tion. In France this work is thorough­ ly systematized and Is carried on very effectively. The system, as described by the Paris correspondent of the Brooklyn Eagle, is as follows: A chief engineer is at the head^of each department, and he has several assistant engineers, each in charge of a sub-division called an arrondisse- ment All the roads In these arrondls- sements are visited and examined by them at least quarterly, and oftener if necessary. These engineers in turn have lieutenants, called conductors, who oversee certain lengths of road which they must look over in detail at least semi-monthly. Under the conduc­ tors come the cantonniers, who do the manual labor, each one caring for a "canton," or stretch about two miles long. Five or six cantons are grouped together and their cantonniers form a brigade, one of whom is made chief, and has a shorter stretch to care for in order that be may oversee the others. If a piece of road absolutely requires It, one or more laborers, called auxiliaries, are given a cantonnier to aid him. Besides overseeing their roads the conductors give all orders to the chief cantonniers, examine their work and report on their conduct twice each month. They keep the accounts of their divisions and report on petitions or new projects. They are obliged to do all their traveling on foot, examine into the smallest details and give the necessary explanations and directions to the cantonniers. The canton of the chief cantonnier must be the best kept of the brigade, in order to show his superiority over the other men. ^hese men are nomin­ ated by the prefect of the department according to certain conditions: They must be between 21 and 40 years old; suffer from no infirmity that interferes with daily labor; have previous experi­ ence in work shops appertaining to their work, or have worked on the roads In some capacity; possess a cer­ tificate of good conduct and be able to rsad and write. Tbe cantonniers must remain on the roads from sunrise to sundown In win­ ter, and from 5 a. in. to 7 p. m. in sum­ mer. They are allowed to build shel­ ters or have movable shelters in which they can seek refuge during storms, but they cannot absent themselves from the roads. Each one has an ac­ count book and a register and keeps a daily account of his work and the time occupied in each task. At the end of eacli month the conductor recapitulates tbe account and sends it to the engi­ neer. In this way the roads are never with­ out the most careful, attention, and ex­ pensive and annoying repairs are ren­ dered unnecessary. feif-Ainpvtatti** To®. There isn't anything that tickles a doctor so entirely as to get hold of a piece of mutilated humanity. If it Is peculiarly revolting In appearance he will have as many different kinds of ecstasy over it as a summer girl does with a new kind of ice cream. At the meeting of the Golden Belt Medical As­ sociation at Abilene the doctors had a beatific seance over the great toe of a negro that had been sent them by Sur­ geon McClintock of Topeka. The toe was an exhibit of the effects of a remarkable disease, qnly ten cases of which have ever been reported in the United States. A member afflicted with this disease Amputa'te^ Itself with­ out the aid of a surgeon's knife. The first thing noticed by the patient is an absenceOf feeling In the member. Then Judge Grommp Oraatt mo Iujuuctloai Against Imitatora of This Valu«b>l« Remedy. A decision of general interest was deliv­ ered lately at Chicago by Judge Peter 8w Grosscup of the United States Circuit Cohrt, giving the Centaur Company of New York City, manufacturers of U«»- toria. a world renowned remedy, ati in­ junction against tbe members of the Chi­ cago firm of Ilurd, Young & Hirschoa, acting as agent* of the Pitcher Medido* Company of Duluth, Minn. Judge Grosscup, in his decision, tfoda that the defendants manufactured, pat up and sold imitation wrappers, labels and packages, a preparation known as "Caa^ toria." The coort held that such mantt* factnre and use of original label was a gross violation of the Centaur Company's •-lii ff ft „ * » W . JI ^ , rights. The judge thereupon issued _ a slight furrow fortns around it and j injunction restraining tbe defendants frohi imitating the original castoria labels to* steadily deepens until the member drops off without pain or the lpss of blood. It Is common oft the west coast of Africa among the negroes, but it has never b^en known to 'ftssail a white man.--Kansas fcity Journal. Sure of Himself. She laid her head against his,breast and looked fondly up into his eyes. "Alfred," she sir»hdd, *are you sure that yoa will always love me as you do now?!' "Yes," he replied. "I ana sure. Your father has promised to endow no col­ leges abd he hasn't an expensive hobbv of any kind." „ Accounted For. Enthusiastic Hostess--There Is a gen­ tleman who is always saying bright things. Really, his conversation fairly sparkles. Conceited Author (of a book that has gone Into its second hundred)--Ah, yes; I am net surprised. He is an enthusi­ astic reader of my works. There la No Telling. Be sure not to let rheumatism stay in the system longer than you can get a bottle of St. Jacobs Oil to cure It. There Is no telling what part It may strike or how much misery it may give. Animala Do Not Grow Thirsty. How long would you be contented without a drop of water to drink? There are many different kinds of ani­ mals in the world that never in all their lives sip so much as a drop of water. A parrot lived for fifty-two years in the "Zoo" at London, England, without drinking a drop of water, and many naturalists believe the only moisture imbibed by wild rabbits is derived from green herbage, laden with dew. Many reptiles--serpents, lizards and certain batrachians--live and thrive in places entirely devoid of water, and sloths are also said never to drink. An arid district in France has produced a race of non-drinking cows and sheep, and from the milk of the former Roque­ fort cheese Is made. There is a species of mouse which has established itself on the waterless plains of western America, and which flourishes, not­ withstanding the absence of moisture. In came the monej*, bagful after bag­ ful. She never had such an idea of $1,000 before. When the money was piled before her it alarmed her. The price of the ring went up an hundred fold, and was considered at once an extravagance which she of her own option abandoned. He Defend* His Course. He--If I give you some candy you might get the toothache, like you did last week. She--Why, you get a toothache your­ self from eating candy! He--Well, mamma wouldn't want both of us to have a toothache to­ gether.--Puck. When a map Is sick, his wife thinks the real trouble is something Wicked on his mind. Expecting Too Much. A drill sergeant was unpopular among his men. They found him too particular. One day he had on hand a party of recruits whom he was putting through the funeral exercise. Opening the ranks so as to admit the passage of the supposed funeral cor­ tege among them, the instructor, by way of practical explanation, walked slowly down the lane formed by the two ranks, saying, as he did so: "Now, I'm the corpse. Pay atten­ tion!" * h Having reached the end of the line he turned, regarded the men with a scrutinizing eye for a minute, and then remarked: "Your 'ands is right, and your 'eads is right, but you 'aven't got that look of regret you ought to 'ave." Oar Jury System. Attorney for the Defense--Now, then, will you please have the goodness to tell us whether you believe in punish­ ing people for committing crimes? Would-be Juror--I do. Attorney--I suppose you can read and write, too, and that you sometimes do those things? Would-be Juror--Yes, sir. Attorney--Challenged for cause. What Do the Children Drink? Dou^l' give them tea or coffee. Have you tried the new food drink called GRAIN-O? It is delicious and nourish­ ing, and takes the place of coffee. Tbe more Grain-O you give the children the more health you distribute through their systems. Grain-O is made of pure grains, and when properly prepared tastes like the choice grades of coffee, bat costs about % aa much. All grocers sell it 16c. and 25c. Weighty. He--Ah, Nellie; you used to call your­ self "a silly little thing Without any brains," but you have shown that you can discuss a weighty subject, too. She--Why, what have I said, Harold, to make you think that? He--You've been talking to me for tbe last half-hour about those biscuits you made, and But she was crying, so be stopped. * Vi Centaur Company. Messrs. Hamline, Scott and Lord appeared as attorneys for the Centaur Company. During the hear­ ing of the case an affidavit was read from Dr. Samue! Pitcher, the originator of the preparation castoria, in which he stated that the Centaur Company only had the right to use his formula and Ms name. Charles H-. Fietelie., president of the company, has betu moat active in traefag tbe source of spurious goods that were found on the market and offered for sale as the real article. He discovered that the imitation was first put on the market by, the Sager Drug Company of Duluth, Minn., and that Mr. Hurd and others handled the preparation in Chicago. The sale was found so easy that the agents proceeded to put up a preparation of their own, thus checkmating their principals. The decision just rendered covers both im­ itations. The Centaur Company are now ' . taking steps to proceed criminally against ' ^ druggists who have been talked into lay- ing in a stock of the counterfeit "Cjaa* j;l" toria." - • A To Tell a Cow's Age. • _ : - The way to tell a cow's age is by an \ \ ^ inspection of her horns. Up to the age vf,f ^ of two, the horn is uniformly smooth i from the root to the tip. At the age ol : two. a ring or thick material grows ac the base of each horn, forming a sort of notcb, and hn additional ring oc notch is added every year afterwards. To find the age,/herefore, count tbe rings aod add two. In the case of a bull, the first ring does not appear until " he is five years old. but one annual ring appears after that. Though now and again irregularities occur, yet on the ^ whole this rule is reliable. Fraudulent dealers occasionally file down these i notches or rings, but close Inspeetlon if ; sufficient to expose tbe fraud. Magic Foot-Eaae. s?i A powder to be shaken Into the shoe. At this season your feet feel swollen, nervous and hot, and get tired easily. Try Magifl Foot-Ease. It cures swollen and sweating feet, blisters and callous spots, and Is a sure cure for chilblains. Relieves com* and bunions of all pain and gives rest and comfort. Try It at once. Price 25c, Ad­ dress Tbe Douglas Remedy Co., 60S Case St., Jollet, 111. Agents wanted. The Heart of the City. ' Grand Central Station Is situated In the very heart of New York City. That is where tbe fast trains of the Michigan Central, "The Niagara Falls Route," land you. The New York and Boston Special leaves Chicago every day at 10:30 a. m.; Fast Eastern Express for New York, Boston and New England points, 3*p. m.; Atlantic Express, 11:30 p. m.; Detroit Night Express, 9:35 p. m. All trains passing Niagara Falls by daylight stop five minutes at Falls View Station. City Ticket Office, 119 Adams street, Chicago. Monatroalttea. "Ifcidge says there, are two kinds of men she can't endure." "What are they?" "Young men trying, to act old and old men trying to act young."--Puck. Well Equipped, * - >'« - "No, he actually can't see beyond the . , end of his nose." . « ",•*N "Why doesn't he try Starring Mt , Cyrano de Bergerac?" ' * "1 ' - li v;\\# a Strong aa a Steel Ramrod. j*. If you want to feel your spine la a t pipe stem ready to snap, just get lam- % bago. If you want to feel as strong as a steel ramrod, use St. Jacobs Oil; It lias magic. vfy,', * A docflle disposition will, with appli­ cation. surmount every difficulty.--Man- ill us. and Uw vm, as^Rt W Those o llrad b; mil's black or brown, SOc. Whatever worth doti)£ is worth doing at all. well.--Chesterfield. - I $ Lane's Family Medicine Moves the bowels each day. In order to be healthy this is necessary. Acts gently on the liver and kidneys. Cures sick headache. Price 25 and 50c. Well-Kno^rn Phenomenon. Mrs. Lusbfortb--Isn't alcohol a good thing to clean a hat with? Mr. Lushforth--It always shrinks mine.--Indianapolis Journal. Five Ceoca. (everybody knows thst Dobbins' Klaetrle Soap la the best tn the world, sod (or thirty-three years It hM told •t the highest prion. It* price Is now live oenla, urn* m common brown soap. Um fall Use and quality. Order ot grocer .--Ad». A Logical Kflfect. Glorinda Flighty says she can play whist better if she talks all the time." "Of course: she makes the rest of Us play worse."--Detroit Free Press. Gov. MacCorkle's Endorsement .rX. m _____ 'ft! "'-VPT'I* •" '-lit "J ^ feu. W. A. MacCorkle, Ex-Gov. «f W«t N Virginia, add* his name to the long lift of Statesmen benefited by Pe-ru-n»- m C:V" heartily recommends IV tu ta as #||K: terrh remedy and tonic. 1 A cannon ball fired from one of the great Krupp or Armstrong guns travels 2.887 feet per second. We will forfeit $1,000 if any of our pub­ lished testimonials are proven to be not genuine. THE PlisO CO.. Warren, Pa. One of tbe words beard every day on our streets is "Dago," the offspring of the Spanish saint "Diego" (James). Hon. W. A. MACCORKUK, Ex-Gov. of W««t Virginia. CHARLESTON, W. Va., March0,188ft. Pe-ru-na Medicine Co., Columbus, O. GENTLEMEN:--Your Pe-ru-na, as a tonic, is certainly unexcelled, and In a number of cases that have come under my observation where it has been used for catarrh, or any disease which has its origin in that malady, it has been of great benefit. Pe-ru-na has my hearty recommendation, both as a tonic and catarrh remedy. W. A. MACCORKLB Pe-ru-na ia a permanent and seien-" tific cure for catarrh. It is purely vegetable and works in harmony with nature. All druggists sell it. Ask any dr mlst for a Cre* Pe*a-aa simaaae M tbe.year ihSe. Sharp Pains PENSIONS Something Unuaual. Mrs. Gile#-I wonder what is wrong with Mrs. Spooner's husband? Mrs. Miles--I don't know, I'm sure. I never noticed anything wrong. Mrs. Giles--You didn't! Why, he treats her with so much respect that you would think they were total stran­ gers. Most youngsters of the present day learn so rapidly that it to almost im­ possible for the high schools to keep up with them. Darting from one point to another, stiff and swollen joints, inflammation, intense suffering, are characteristics of rheuma­ tism. All these painful symptoms are cured by Hood's Sarsaparilla, which purities the blood and neutralizes the acid which is the cause of rheumatism. Why continue to suffer when you may be relieved by Hood's Sarsaparilla America's Greatest Medicine for Rheu­ matism. Prepared by C. 1. Hood & Co., Lowell, Mass. Get Tour Peaaisa DOUBLE <5- QUICK I Writ# Cast. CratBIU, PmieaAgeat. Wtitegtaa. AA CUIS YOURSELF! t IW- Bin ® ft>r unDtftoral ditrhiirtfM, ir.tUmnixtiana, irritation* or ul^ratiooa of in ufout luF't.rjnoa. I'jiulesp. aud ti.'t aalria- |THEEVANS CHEMICJICO. grnt or poiKHinus hy PfMlHa. r sent in plain w-rxrP*, by «zpr«M, |>r<-|MKi. fa* ~l or 3 botOM. f:. 75. ircalar eat <m cegoMt. 8. N. U. No 51 Hood's Pills cure al! Liver 111*. 25 cent*. IN wtttiig to Uwtbm, please • «ha JM saw th« Mwt' Aiiwtbewal (a ttb i It Was Before the Day of SAPOLLO .ifc v • - They Used to Say "Woman's Is Never Pone. (I

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