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Pledged but to Truth, to Liberty and Law; No Favors Win us and no Fear Shalt Awe. :Tu«fc Special M'HENRY. ILLINOIS, WEDNESDAY, JUNE 8, 1898. NO. 49. PUBLISHED EVERY WEDNESDAY BY - J . V A N S L Y K E EDITOR AND PROPRIETOR. V- ' . ' . ' OFFICE IN THE NICHOLS BLOCK Two Doors North Owen& Ohapell'a Store, TERMS. OF SUBSCRIPTION: Subscriutions received for three or six months in tlie same proportion- RATES OF ADVERTISING: We announce liberal rates for advertising in the PtAiisDEALKK, and endeavor to state them so plainly that they will be readily un­ derstood. They are as follows: 1 Inch one year.. ... 6 00 2 Inches one yaar. 10 0° 30 00 60 00 100 00 8 Inches one year 15 00 }i Column one year % Column one yaaA 1 Column one year ..... One inch means the measurement of one inch'Iown the column, single column width. Yearly advertiser*, at the above rates, have the privilege of changing as often as they chooue, without extra charge Regular advertisers (meaning those having standing cards) will be entitled to insertion of local notices at ihe rate of 5 cents per line each weett. All others vill be charged 10 cents per line the first weelc, and 5 cents per line for eaoh subsequent week. Transient advertisements will be charged at tlie rave of 10 cents per line, (nonpareil type, same as this is set in) ihe first issue, and 6 cents per line for subsequent Issues. Tbus, an inch advertisement will cost $1.00 for one week, $1.50 for two weeks, $2,00 for three weeks, and so oa. The PLAJIMDBALKR wilt be liberal in giving editor^) ticos, but, as a business rule, it will require a suitable foe from everybody seeking the use of Its columnB lor pecuniary gain. ^ f. ' -Eta* All Foreign Advertising payable quar­ terly, in adyauce. <* These terms will be strictly adhered to. BUSINESS CARDS. W. C. ANNERS. PRACTICAL WATCHMAKER. WEST MCHENRY, ILL. DRUG ETOKE. O. H. GILLMORE, ATTORNEY. Probate work a specialty. Office in Kendall Block, Woodrtock,till. KNIGHT & BROWN. ATTORNEY AT LAW, ICO Washington : street, Chicago, 111. FRANK L. 8 EPARD COUNTS Eh LOR AT LAW, suite 80--132 Clark street, Ouioago, 111. C. P. BARNE9, ATTORNEY; Solicitor, and, Oonnfelor. Collections a specialty. Woodstock, 111, FRANK R. ACKMAN, ATTORNEY and Counselor a; L*w. Prompt and careful attention to all mat ters left in my hands. Moiev to loan. Office in Hoy block, Woodstock, ill. Telephone-- office, 55, residence, B9. 35yl JS C. H. FEGEIM, M. I). PHYSIC! \N AND SURGEON, McHenry, 111. Office at Residence. J03. L. ABT, M. D. PHYSICIAN, SURGEON "AND OCULIST. Offioe in Nichols block, over Plaindeal r Office, McHenry. Telephone No. 4. DR A. E. AURINGER, PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON. Office in the Stroner building, one door west of A. P. Baer's store, West McHenry. 111. Residence, house formerly occupied by Dr. Osborne. All professional calls promptly attended to. JOHN P. SMITH, Watchmalfer & Jeweler MCHENRY, ILLINOIS. A FINE stock of Clocks, Watches and Jew­elry always on hand. Special attention Iven to repairing fine watches. Give me call. Ugls:... HN P. SMITH. TY, :e[ Peace. RY, ILL. id to Collections. - MEAD, Justice of the Peace and General In­ surance Agent. Including Accident and IAfe Insurance. WEST MCHENBY, III. W. P. ST. CLAIR, Justice of the Peace and Notary Public Real Estate and Insurance, NUNDA. HI. A. M. CHURCH, Watohmaker and Jeweler No. 126 State Street, Chicago. Special attention given to repairing Fine Watches an i Chronometers. *ST" A Fill Assortment of Goods in his line. West Sid© Livery, FEED AND SALE STABLES E. J. HANLT .|Prop'r. WEST MCHENRY, ILL. , First class rigs, with or without drivers, furnished at retonable ra'es. Parties taken to and from the L*kes in JSas? Rigs, and promnt connection made with all trains. Our Rigs Will be kept in first class shape and we shaB spare no pains to please oui , customers fvall tunes. Give us a call. E. J. BANLT. West MoHenry, 111., Aug. 15,1896. Dr. Walter C Besley, J3EJNTX8T WEST MCHENRY, Woodstock Office Kendall Dental Parlors. Office over Besley's Drug Store, Will be at McHenry office Mondays and Tuesdays. At Woodstock office Wednesdays, Thurs­ days, Fridays and Saturdays. . EXAMINATIONS FREE, MILO iJ. L,, HOW K, PIANO & ORGAN Tuner & Repairer !T McHenry. All Orders Promptly Attended to, DR. BAECHLER. DENTIST. Plate Work, and everything per­ taining to Dentistry. Parties from a distance should drop a card a day or two before coming. Office. McHenry. C. F. BOLEY, iPurielor of McHenry Br iery, McHENRY, ILL. Alwaysion Band ivith the Best Beer SMOKERS 1 When in Want of a Good Cigar THE OLD RELIABLE CALL AT Cigar and Tobacco Dealers. OUR SPECIALTIES: Our Monogram, 10c. Barbian's Best hand made 5c The best cigars made. Sold by all local dealers. ATENTS Caveats, and Trade-Marks obtained and all Pat­ ent business conducted for MODERATE FEES. Oun OFFICE IS OPPOSITE U.S. PATENT OFFICE land we can secur® patent in less time than those remote from Washington. . . . Send model, drawing or photo., with descrip- We advise, if patentable or not, free of charge. Our fee not due till patent is secured. A PAM F>HI.CT " How to Obtain Patents," with <«st Of same 'in the U.S. and foreign countries sent free. Address, [C. AtSNO W& CO. I ©pp. PATENT OFFICE, WASHINGTON, D. C. PEBBY & OWED, Banners. NIoHENRY, - - ^ILLINOIS. This Bank receives deposits, buyi and sells Foreign and Domestic Ex ohaige, and does a General Banking Business We endeavor to do all business en­ trusted to our care in a manner and upon te:ms entirely satisfactory to our customers and respectfully solicit the public patronage. MONEY TO LOAN; On Real Estate and < ther first class security. Special nt.t ration given to co- lections, INSURANCE In first Class Companies at the Lowest Rates. Your8 Ecspec'ful'y PERRY & OWEN. Notary Public * IF YOU WANT TO SAVE MONEY Call and see me. I have a very fine stock of Light and Heavy SINGLE & DOUBLE HARNESS Which will be sold cheaper than the same goods can be bought elsewhere and war­ ranted as represented. L>o not fail to call at once and get the benefit of our bargains. ... REPAIRING Promptly Attended to And in a Workmanlike Manner. Yours Respectfully, GUS CARLSON McHenry, 111., Feb. 1. 1898. NEW HOTEL -AND- iffi' Boarding House Water Street. McHenry, ANTON ENGLEN, Proprietor. Having completed my new building I am now prepared to take Boarders by the Day or Week, Give them the best accommo­ dations, and at REASONABLE RATES. My Rooms are all newly fur­ nished, well ventilated, and the building is practically Fire Proof. No pains will be spared to please all who may favor me with their patronage. ANTONY ENGELN. McHenry, 111., 1897. A. C. SPURLING, Veterinary Surgeon, West McHenry, Ill. i Special attention given to the treat­ ment of Cows. Office at residence on Waukegan street, on® door oast of Hotel Park. . W A R ! ! We have just msd e arratigem#n 8 by which we obtain ooiitrQl of a special eu ition of Cram's Big War Atlas, The Best Book of its Kind It is just whatyou want *nd all you want to follow the movements of our fleet* and our armies. It contaiau 16 pairee of lar. e co.ored maps, 21x14 inches, and HxlOX inches >n size, covering II territory where a conflict could possibly occur, COMPLETE STATISTICS, Naval and military, and history of all ountries and possessions involved, all the fficial documents, etc. It answers all War Questions, Settles all War Arguments, Strictly up to Date. Even if you have another Atlas you neeo this one to keep posted. While t.hi« special edition lasts we will send copies po-tpaid, to­ gether with four issuesofonr profnseVy Illus­ trated comic paper "UP TO DATE" for 25 cents in stamps or silver. Address UP TO DATEp Monon Bids. Chicago AGENTS WANTED In every county to supply the great popular demand for America's far for Humanity. TOLD IN PICTURE, AND STORY COMPILED AMD WRITTEN BY Sehator John J. Ingalls. Of Kansas* The most brilliantly written, most pro­ fusely and artistically "illustrate -, and -liost intensely popular book on tlie subject of the war with Spain. Nearly 200 Superb Illustrations From Photonraphs taken specially far thi. great work. Agents are making J50 to >100 n week selling it. A veritable bonanza for live '•.anvasserp. Apply for description, terme and territory at once to N. DI THOMPSON PUB. CO. St Louis, Mo., or New York City- CONSOLIDATED Field Fencing. Is made In 1G different styles and 18 guaranteed to turn all kinds of stock Nothing but Large Galvenized Wire of the Best Bessemer Steel used in its construction A. FENCE THAT ALWAYS KEEPS ITS SHAPE. The hinge joint at each intersection of the wiros makes an adustable fence and prevents st«y wires from bonding. The crimp in the otrand wire provides for expan­ sion and contraction and prevents stay wire from moving out of place. MANUFACTURED BY CONSOLIDATED STEEL & WIRE CO CHICAGO, ILLINOIS Those wishing a fence will do well to see this fence and get our price? before purchasing. Call on or address E. H. THOMPSON, West McHenry. Crimp and Joint Tie Great Pniuiii Stallion, GEORGE O. 9701. Standard under both the trotting and pacing rules. Sired by Lakeland Abdallah, 351, by H»m- bletonian, 10, Dam Fanny B, a fast pacing mare oy Autocrat, a «on of Geo. M. Patchen, 2-23X. George O, 2:21#, is the sjrp of 11 in the list with several more capable of entering at any time ihey are called upon. A good many of above are from mares of no known trotting blood. Who can beat it ? I will continue' to stand George O at my plaoe in McHenry, at $20 TO INSURE. Payable in cash or due bill at time of ser­ vice or removal of mare. A live colt guaranteed. , 42ml L. H. OWEN, MOHENBY, ILLINOIS FOR EVERYBODY. here we are again with Mens fine Shirts, 50c Boys bib Overalls, 25c Mens Leather Suspenders,. 25c Very fine assortmennt mens Kid Gloves, 75c to $1.40 We have also a number of Dusters and Hammocks which we will sell at a vcoy close margin. 10 bars Santa Claus Soap, 25c 10 bars Calumet Soap, 25c 10 bars Lenox Soap, 25c Arbuckle Coffee, 11c per lb Gold Dust, 18c Tea, 15c to 50c per lb Barb Wire, $2.35 per hundred We also will give ..with $5 worth of cash trade 19 pounds of granulated Sugar for $1. "We have a very large stock of goods both in Dry Goois, Groceries, Hardware And we know if you will give us a call we will be able to please you in something. We aim to make everybody happy as they leave our door, because we know if we are able.to please them once they wiil come and sec us again. Now we hope you will not fail to to take advantage of some of these great bargains. War News Every Day. Long Distance Telephone Station E. RICHARDSON. Voloi Iskfl Oo» III -- MILO L. HOWE, DEALER IN PIANOS, ORGANS, Musical Merchandise. Of all Kindt and Sheet MUBIO. West McHenry, - Illinois BJ'es Tale to Piano Stools ly. A growing girl who has no Piano misses a great deal or enjoyment, and day by day becomes at a great disadvantage, socially. We make a specialty of good, honcstlv-built Pianos, at low prices. Our stock is all-- embracing--we exhibit the finest Pianos ever shown in this village, but we take equal satisfaction in extremely low-priced instruments. A Visit of Inspection Will Surprise^You Pianos Tuned and Repaired. On short notice and satisfac­ tion guaranteed. MILO L. HOWE. B. NEAB THE DEPOT, WEST McHENRY, ILL, Keeps open for the accommodation of the Public a First-Olass. Saloon and Res'aurant, Where ho will at all times keep the best brands of Wines. Liquors aud Cigars to be found in the market PABST'S At Wholesale and Retail. Beer in large or small Kegs or Bottles al- ways on hand, cheaper than any other, quality considered. Ordeis by mail promptly attended to. GOOD STABLING FOR HORSES Wtr Call and see us. Robt. Schiessie.. West McHenry, May 2, 1898, J. W. BONSLETT> Plumbing Contractor. All Kinds of Sanitary PluMl PB0MPTLY ATTENDED TO Has just received, a very com­ plete stock of Plumbing Goods, Bath Tubs, Closets, Lavatories and Fixtures. Steam and lot Water Heating. Complete stock of all sizes Galvanized and Black Pipe and Fittings on hand. OfBc^and Show Room in Jacob Bon- slett's Agricultural Implement Building, McHENRY, ILL. NATIONAL Q.TJJ2S'l10Nfl. War brings its complications, intor. national and internal. Internal issues will gradually adjust themselves thro' the Voices, o! the people. Issues of in­ ternational importance are more seri­ ous, and the settlement is left not to one people but to mauy. .Just at present the American people are confronted with a question of inter national importance, Should the vic­ tory of Dewey at the Philippines be made complete by American occupancy of the Islands, what will the United States do with its new possessions? The proper Solution of this question is of more vital importance than that of Cuba or Puerto Rico. In deciding it one must look to to the past, and into the future. That the Philippines are fruitful and valuable is beyond question. A revenue of $18,- 000,000 per year testifies as strongly as possible to the wonderful fertility of the soil. Other things being equal, there is no doubt that it would be a profitable investment to the United States, but is it in keeping with our national creed, our boasted democracy, our non-inter­ ference in the affairs of others, or our disbelief in extension that carries us be­ yond the boundaries of our own hemisphere ? Our constitution considers all men free and equal. It gives to the state local self government; it gives to every citizen an equal voice in all things. Could these rights be extended to the Philippines? Concededly not. Her people are incap­ able of self government. They are but half civilized and as unable to make and carry' out Christian and civilized laws as a South Sea islander. To make the Philippines our adopted child would necessitate the establishment there by America of a dependency, a place to be ruled and controlled by a rod of steel. It is a thing abhorrent to pure American­ ism to our national spirit and pride. To assume and perfect American rule in these islands would be to stamp the nation as liars of the first magnitude, C t? vTv>uin,.uur uuusu3u assertion be that this war with Spain is a war of Christian humanity against fiendish mis­ rule and treachery? What would be­ come of our pledge that the war was one to free a suffering people and not one for profit or national extension? And there is still another page to be read. Does this nation desire to embroil itself with the powers of the east? Is she ready to maintain a large standing army and a monster navy. Is she eager to become a factor in the tumult of in­ ternational complications that contin­ ually disturbs our neighbors across the water? We believe not Sober second thought will follow this wild war frenzy now manifest, for extension and exter­ mination. In future possible peace set­ tlements, the possession of the Philip­ pines by America may play an impor­ tant part in placing us in a position to demand and obtain a satisfactory ad­ justment ohill differences. Without doubt we owe the natives of the Philippines a duty, and should not allow them to again become victims of Spanish misrule, hut this is a matter that can be adjusted sat'sfactorily. SENSIBLE WORDS. One of our exchanges contains the fol­ lowing sensible advice with regard to the conduct of the war. "President McKinley asserts his inten­ tion to end the Cuban war without the sacrifice of a single volunteer, if it be possible to do so. He is quite confident of being able to carry out his plans. The president is an old soldier and was a good one; he has the counsel of men thoroughly posted in regard to the situ­ ation, whoee training in military mat­ ters has been life long. The good com­ mander looks first after the health, com­ fort, and preparation of his men. Poor­ ly cared for soldiers do not make good fighters. The calm, thoughtful McKinley is not «oing to rush a mob of undisci­ plined raw troops into Cuba to fill its graves with heroic dead, the victims of the summer rains, heat, poisonous vapors and soggy ground. There are regulars and immunes that, with the aid of the navy, can care for Cuba for the next three months, relieve the starv­ ing, supply the insurgents with arms and provisions, and be ready to receive the surrender of the Spanish soldiers if disposed to accept the Inevitable. We shall free Cuba, but not at the expense of unnecessary sacrifice of life." Smokeless Powd«r. Our army and navy are experiencing in this war manifestations of the advan­ tages of smokeless powder, to a degree they have not before had opportunity for observing. In some of the naval' en­ gagements already undertaken the pow­ der has made such a smoke as to inter­ fere very Beriously with the work of the gunners, obscuring the objects at which they wished to take a second aim, for many minutes after they should have fired again. Besides this, a vessel enveloped in a cloud of smoke is much more vulnerable to the attack of torpedo boats, which can come up under its cover to hurl their deadly weapons. With smokeless 'pow­ der a torpedo boat cannot get within gunshot of a man-of-war, because it ,can be seen at sufficient distance to repel the attack. Common black powder is going out of use, as flint-lock muskets did. > An elegant new stock of Ladies' High and Medium Grade Shirt Waists aad ress Skiris at StoSei's. [From the Beedsburg, Wis,, Free Presc,] A BIO BUTTER BUSINESS. Some Figures About the Elgin Cream­ ery Company's Output. The Chicago Times-Herald recently published a lengthly illustrated article setting forth the magnitude of the busi­ ness done by the Elgin Creamery com­ pany, which operates butter factories in Wisconsin, Iowa and Illinois. -The an­ nual produot of these factories amounts to 14 million pounds, and its value is $2,500,000. • ; The immensity of this product is diffi­ cult to - comprehend from mere figures. For instance, there is sufficient to spread over a slice of bread a foot wide and 56 thousand miles long--more than twice around the earth. Pressed into a structure 100 feet square, with walls one foot thick, a golden building would be constructed more than twice the height of the Ma­ sonic temple, Chicago. It would require a train of 700 cars- three miles long--to transport it by rail, and 14 engines would be required to pull it. The milk of 120,000 cows is used in the manufacture of this butter, and if these beasts were merged into one animal they would produce a bovine large enough to Bwish her tail in Hyde Park and drink from the rippling waters of the Lincoln park lagoon. Placed in single file this herd of cattle would form a con­ tinuous line 190 miles long, which equals the distance from Chicago to Reedsburg, Wis. In the flush of the flow, the season of the year when milk is most plentiful, 2,500,000 pounds of milk is daily churned into butter. If this milk was accumulated for one year it would fill a lake large enough to float three of our biggest battleships. To salt this butter requires 20 cars of salt, and 125 carloads of tubs of all sizes to pack it ready for shipment. The milk is gathered by 4,000 teams from 6,000 farms. The shipments of one day last year covered th& following points: Seattle> wash., Portland, Los Angeles, Cal., Phoenix, Ariz., Houston, Texas, Jack­ sonville, Fla., Boston, Mass., London, Eng., Hamburg, Germany, and Cape Town, South Africa. The company owns 80 creameries and controls the output of as many more. Of these, 30 lies between Madison and La Crosse and are under the manage­ ment of C. B. Hubbard, who has made his home and headquarters at Reedqr burg since the fall of '96. He is rapidly increasing the business in this territory, and the farming community tributary to these factories and stations have been materially benefitted and stimulated the direction of dairy farming. Obadiali Sands, the president of the company, has made a remarkable record in building up this immense business in a few years. He made his first beginning with two creameries in 1886, and from this small commencement the present business has grown, until now his com­ pany is recognized as the largest pro­ ducer of butter in the world. Frankie's Patriotic Prayer. A little boy in the East End has taken a great interest in the war question. His mother frequently cautions him against showing a cruel spirit; but his father, who is something of a belligerent himself says nothing. The other day- it was Sunday--the youngster was ex­ tremely warlike, boasting what he would do to the Spaniards, and lopping off the heads of imaginary dons at a great rate His mother overheard some of his talk, and at once said to him. "Now, Frankie, you have shown your­ self a very naughty boy. Such talk is wicked, and I want you to go right into your bedroom and ask God to put all naughty thoughts out ot your head." So Frankie went into his bedroom and hastily shut the door behind him. It didn't latch, however, and this is the prayer which his father says he heard through the narrow opening. "O Lord, you know that women don't like to fight, and my mamma is a lady. Men are different. Thero was a coal- wagon man swore at mamma once, and papa hauled off and knocked the stuffin out of him. I want to be like that when I get big. And. 0 Lord, you know that those starvers are a-starvin' and mu- derin' poor little babies and women and men. You've seen the pictures, and you know what they look like. You know those starvers have got to get a darn good lickin' for all that, and for sinking the Maine, too. Papa says you must never fight except your cause is just. You know how that is, 'cause you've licked the devil so many times. And, now, O Loi d, please let Uncle Sam go ahead and do what he thinks best, for ever and ever, amen."--Cleveland Plain Dealer. Joseph Leiter's dealincs in wheat, with the closing up of his May deal, are said to have netted him §3,250,000. He seems to have some regard for the pro­ verb of warning which says it is a long lane that has no turning. The young man now says he will leave the wheat business as soon as he has disposed of all his cash holdings. The rise of wheat prices during the progress of Leiter's operations might have benefitted farm ere $150,000,000, (the average increase per bushel having been 30 cents), but for the fact that the entire wheat product he cornered had passed out of the farmers' hands before he began his operations. The New Revenue Law. • The new revenue law is the moat im­ portant measure passed by the recent special session of. the legislature. Its chief provisions, so far as they relate to counties like McHenry, may be gum- - marized in the fewest possible words as follows: The county treasurer shall be ex-officio supervisor of assessments in the county. On or before the first day of April, the supervisor of assessments assembles the assessors for consultation aad instruc­ tion. _ [i <'~ £ Any assessor refuseing to observe the instructions of said supervisor is subject to a fine of $50 to $l00s.and imprison­ ment. * The compensation of assessors in towns less than 5,000 inhabitants may be from §2.50 to $5.00 per day, and he shall give a bond not to exceed $500. Any assessor who refuses or neglects to perform any lawful duty, or consents to or connives at any evasion of the law is subject to fine and imprisonment. All property must be listed and as­ sessed on the first day of April, including all property purchased that day. Real estate will be assessed every four years, beginning with 1899. In interven­ ing years assessor shall list any improve­ ments, additions or changes. Personal property is to be listed on a blank schedule, the assessor placing in one column; the fair cash value of all items, including notes, accounts, bonds, money, etc., and must assess the same at one-fifth the full value in another column, headed "assessed value." The fair cash value of real property is intertrepeted to mean the price it wonld bring at a fair voluntary sale, in due course of trade, and it is assessed also a% one-fifth. If any person refuses to make the re­ quired schedule, the assessor will list the property according to his knowledge, in­ formation and judgment, and shall add 50 per cent to such valuation. Any person swearing falsely to a sched­ ule is guilty of perjury, and shall be pun­ ished accordingly. Any assessor failing to have a schedule signed is subject to a fine of $100 to $5,000. The general assessment shall be pub­ lished in some newspaper in the county at a cost not to exceed 3 cents per name. The county clerk, chairman of county board, and some citizen to be appointed by the county judge, shall constitute the board of review. This board of review shall meet on or before the second Monday in July. It is required to assess all property subject to assessment not already listed by the as­ sessors, and has power to increase or reduce any assessment in whole or in part, if in their opinion it has not been made on the proper basis. Disputed points may be repealed to the state auditor. "I The Scientific American Navy ^Supplement. The Scientific American, which has al­ ways indentified itself very closely with the interests of the Navy, is to be con­ gratulated on the extremely handsome and valuable '̂Navy Supplement" which it has lately put before the public. We think, if the average reader had been asked beforehand what kind of a work he would prefer upon the Navy, he would have asked for just such an issue as this. Both the illustrations and the reading matter are of the straightforward ex­ planatory kind which is necessary to put a technical subject clearly before the lay mind. It was a happy thought to preface the work with a chapter upon the classification of warships and insert a few diagrams by way of explanation of the subtle differences between cruisers, monitors and battleships; for alter di­ gesting this chapter dne is prepared to • follow intelligently the detailed descrip­ tions of the various ships which make up the bulk of the issue. One of the best things about this number is that it doeeH not iwgrelj give an external illustration of each ship, but it takes the reader lowp below docks, and initiates himinto the mysteries of the magazines, handling rooms, ammunition hoists and motive J machinery. The sectional views of tha turrets of the monitors are exceptionally fine, as is the large wood engraving of the engines of the "Massachusetts,." The last page of the number contains complete tables of the new Nayy, the auxilliary fleet and the various naval guns. A handsome colored map of Cuba and the West Indies is furnished with/ this issue. We extend our congratula? tions to our contemporary on the duction of a work which is well con admirabjy carried out. This published by Munn & Co., of 36t" way, New York, for 25 cents. £ tla Pilisbury's Beet Flour, at St offers. Deiiiiitiona Not in Webt'.sr. Paragoric--The crying need of midnight hour. Undertaker--A man who* follows tli_ medical profession. Legend--A bare-faced lie that baa grown old enough to ifrear whiskers. < ^ Kiss--A simultaneous contraction of the lips and enlargement of the heart. Egotist--A bicycle crank who thinks his is the only high-grade wheel on " pike. Tact--A woman's ability to friends by laughing at a man's jokes. ' " lnsomiaa--Something that kaspi man's wife awake until be comes hoc the morning. Shark--A man who is always to favor his fellow-man--at the 10 psreeat a montb. a®