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ij-*' ' - ! . • ' i '• , •" ' • - '• •§»iH. . ' £J: P !i0̂ : - « v * '/!> /V'-w* There's. An Answ (by INorimtn Vinrrnl IVftle Ruth Stafford IVale) &>%£< " •' V. • :M " Tips For Parents PAGE 3 - P lAINDE ALER - TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 29, ^ ,\-rM , ; t \r - The October meeting of Valley View neighborhood was held at Shabbona Hills, which gave the leaders the opportunity to view this latest acquisition of cam­ ping, outing, meeting and day camp facilities pur­ chased by the Sybaquay council. The possibilities at this site are endless, and leaders were encouraged to utilize the property. Following the business meeting, which included an investiture of new leaders, a song workshop was con­ ducted by a former neigh­ borhood chairman, Carol Johnson, assisted by Girl Scout volunteers, from Wonder Lake* The weather was chilly, but it didn't chill the spirits of anyone there, and a good time was had By all. Brownie troop No. 150 had an outing to a pumpkin patch for their first field trip. Then, they were, busy making plans for their in- vestitutre. Brownie troop No. 480 spent a lot of time at their meetings planning for their investiture, which included inviting their sister troop No. 150 to participate. Brownie troop No. 408 visited Carestoel nursing home and distributed pumpkins to the residents. Junior troop No. 88 had an outing to Harriscn Benwell conservation area and a ranger took them on a guided tj$Ur for a very in­ teresting and informative nature hike. Afterwards, the girls tested their outdoor cooking skills on a menu of sloppy Joes, 3 bean salad, banana boats and ants on a log. Brownie troop No. 407 held their investiture recently. Seventeen girls Were in­ vested and eight girls were rededicated. Their first outing was a trip to Shab­ bona where they built a campfire and made foil pouches to cook their lunch. After lunch, they hiked, loured 'the • new building, played games and sang songs. At their regular meetings, the girls worked on the Brownie "B" patch and made sand art for children in th^ hospital. They are also going to make Thanksgiving placecards for residents of i Carestoel nursing home. This sounds like a very active troop. To Your Health A Service of McHenry Hospital i Staying warm becomes a priority item when the temperature drops and you're waiting outside for your car pool or bus. Or just scurrying from the end of the parking lot to the shopping center door. Staying alive may be the lop priority if you're a sportsman or motorist and foul weather sweeps in. Many people feel confident that they will nol become victims of hypothermia: the scientific term for the condition where the body temperature drops below its normal 98.6 degrees F. due to exposure to cold, Fishermen encounter this possibility if their boat capsizes in cold water. What was first thought to be death by drowning is now at­ tributed to hypothermia in many of these instances. Not limited to fishermen, last winter hypothermia killed many stranded motorists, particularly those who left their cars to seek help. Freezing weather can be a killer. But quick drops in temperature combined with wind and rain can be deadly ?s well. The wind chill index announced by your weatherman may be a sign to dress warmer even though the temperature seems relatively high. On a 50 degree F. day with a wind speed of 25 mph, the actual temperature the body feels is 30 degrees F. which is perature of 30 degrees F. coupled with a wind speed of 20 mph will have a wind chill index of 4 degrees F. Add rain or snow and you'll need waterproofing.v Given these facts, it's wise to dress accordingly. Clothes generally insulate the body from cold. The body heat is trapped inside the clothing. HoWever, wind will penetrate clothing that isn't airtight. Wool is the warmest material provided you wear a windbreaker over it when it's windy. Wearing layers of lightweight clothing in­ sulates better than one heavy garment. Cottons don't protect well; blue jeans are poor cold weather gear. Mom's admonition to "wear your hat" has scientific justification. A major loss of body heat occurs through an uncovered head. Hands and feet need special protection to guard against frostbite. If factors such as fatigue, young or old age, circulatory illness, fear and alcohol are present, even more care must be taken to protect against cbld. r Winter is not the time to skip breakfast or gulp down coffee and juice and run. A hearty breakfast will help you stay warm longer. Being prepared for the cold weather will make it more comfortable and you Deserve* to be happy Q. My husbapd and I are not happy with our marriage. A* civilized discussion generally results in an uncivilized argument. The only good thing that has come out of these ten years is the children. My present attitude is that I am "buying time" until the children are teenagers and I can get on with my life. I am holding down a "full-time job, managing the house, the children and the budget I seldom do anything for me. This causes resentment toward my husband to build up. I feel I deserve some happiness the same as other people, is there any help? \ _ ' A. It would be interesting to have your husband's opinion. Secerns as though the chief issue is What you are not getting. Wonder if your husband also says, "I seldom do anything for me." It sounds like a "me" marriage with little emphasis on the "you" or "us". Perhaps if each of you played down the "me" angle and emphasized the something for the other attitude, the marriage would be on a firmer basis. We are sending you our booklet, The Secret of a Happy Marriage, which is free to any reader ef this column. Write to us at Box 500, Pawling, N.Y., 12564. Stunned by the answer Q. I saw your reply to a troubled wife whose 50-year-old husband had become enamored with a 17-year-old girl. She was told to let the girl take this man to one of her teen parties where no other adults were. You were confident that this would change the man's mind. Are you aware of what is going on these days?That solution would surely turn the man's ego motor on "high" and lessen any restraints he may have had. Fathers over forty years of age feel the sexual revolution has passed them by and are leaving their wives and families to find 17-year-olds. There are plenty around. Everything is very open. No one feels ashamed. These men are at the discos, the teen parties, the beach-wherever! I was really stunned by your answer which I felt was very shallow and flip. A. We didn't meant it to be either "shallow" or "flip". We simply did the best we could with the question at the time. But if you are right, we are stunned! Searching for roots Q. I am sorry to note a lack of awareness and understanding in your response to the 67-year-old woman who would like to knoiw the fate of the daughter she gave to adoption 50 years ago. By advising this woman not to "disrupt" the life of the daughter she loves, you are assuming that the daughter has no wish to know her birthmother, that she is unable to understand her mother's pain, forgive her and find love in her heart for the woman who gave her the gift of life. Have you not heard of the moire than 90 search-related organizations wherein tens of thousands of adopted adults are actively searching for families they have been separated from by adoption? These are intelligent, caring people who love their adoptive parents but need to have answers to their questions of origin so they can experience the "roots" that the rest of us take for granted. Some organization which will help families get together are: Orphan Voyage, Cedaredge CO., 81413; ALMA, P.O. Box 154, Washington Bridge Station New York, N.Y., 10033; and CUB, P.O. Box 573. Milford, MA., 01757. A. Thank you for your helpful letter which we gladly share with our readers. If there is something you would like to ask Dr. and Mrs. Peale to discuss in this column, write to ewe of Box 500, Pawling, N.Y., 12564. For a recorded message of inspiration and prayer by Dr. Peale calPDial-A-Prayer 855-5111 at any time of the day or night. Reduced toll rates take effect evenings and weekends. "No one really listens to me." Children in particular sometimes have this feeling, says Nancy Moore, senior- Extension adviser, Home Economics for McHenry county. • Parents should be aware, says Moore, how taking time to listen and to encourage self expression helps maintain good com­ munication between them awjLjtbeir children. Listening gives parents the chance to understand better how children's thinking abilities and ideas are changing and progressing. Ms. Moorei offers the following tips on how to listen more effectively to children. -Be interested and at­ tentive. Children can tell if they have attention by the way parents do or don't reply. Showing interest in children and their activities encourages children to express their feelings and make them feel important. -Encourage talking about experiences. Some children need an invitation to start talking. Children are most likely to share their ideas and feelings when others think them important. -Listen patiently With limited vocabulary and shorter memory span, young children often take longer than adults to find the right word. Hurrying children or calling attention to their use of the wrong word while they are talking upsets and confuses them. -Heir children out. Avoid cutting childreri off before they have finished speaking. By letting children develop their ideas fully, parents also gain valuable insight into children'8 un­ derstanding and abilities, to reason. • - -Ref lec t ch i ldren s feelings. One of the most important skills of a good listener is the ability to put oneself in another's shoes and to imagine what they are experiencing apart from your own thoughts and feeling. Parents can reflect children's feelings by saying "I understand this is how you feel." Children often feel more understood when parents accept and recognize children's feelings as real. -Listen to non-verbal messages. Many messages children send are com­ municated by their tone of voice, the look on their faces, their energy level, body posture or changes in behavior patterns. Parents often can learn more from the way children say things than from what is said. -Set positive examples. Parents who listen to their children with interest, at­ tention and patience set a valuable example. And when they are important to children and take interest in them, parents are the greatest audience children can have. The University of Illinois Cooperative Extension service McHenry county is available to all McHenry county residents. It is an educational program geared to answering questions in Agricultural and Home Exonomics or Horticulture. The resources of the University of Illinois are at the disposal of the local office. 4-H is the youth program sponsored by this office. For information, call 815- 338-3737 or 4747. The offices are located at 789 McHenry Ave. (Rte. 120) in Wood­ stock. m JOSKHI moi.s staff psychologist .news from the Family Service and Mental Health Clime of McHenry County. WoodsI ock hospi ta l . Memoria l below freezing. A tem- may even enjoy it. Mr. and Mrs. John L. Dayton, Glendale Heights, II. announce the birth of their second child, Krystal Therese, Thursday, Nov. 15, in Central DuPage hospital, Winfield, II. Krystal weighed 7 lbs. 12 oz. and is 20 inches in length. Her mother is a former McHenry resident, Luella Ficek. The proud grandparents are Mr. and Mrs. Frank J. Ficek, 209 N. Dale avenue, McHenry, and Mr. and Mrs. Frank H. Dayton; .god­ parents are Miss Terry Miller, Palatine, and Roger Brock. Wonder Lake. - A son, Andre, was born to Diane and J. Whitman Sears, 814 Ringwood road, McHenry,' Nov. 9. He was welcomed home by Heather, Angus and Summer. A boy was born to Mr. and Mrs. John Hanson, McHenry, Nov. 14 in HOSPITAL NOTES j IVHIIKNRY-- Admissions: Lorraine J. Halinski. John T Peters and Timothy A. Jensen, all of McHenry. WOODSTOCK MEMORIAL Admissions: Mrs. Emma Hupe and Master John Diltmer, both of McHenry. IIAHVAKI) „ MEMOKIAI. Admissions:Kay Aalto, of McHenry. (Editor's note: This is another in a series of especially written articles for McHenry county readers. Joseph Cools is a psychologist the Family Service and Community Mental Health Center staff. This article is. "Coping - Being Alone on Holidays.") To many divorced, single ahd widowed persons, being alohe on holidays is an ex­ tremely painful experience. Traditional family days are particularly stressful and lonely these people.. Knowing thSyare going to be alone for the holidays, they anticipate the actual day for weeks in advance, feeling more miserable and lonely until the holidays a^e over. Interestingly enough, many people will turn down in­ vitations from friends and relatives to spend the holidays with them. In some cases, they feel it would be an "imposition"; in other cases they feel they are being patronized; in still other cases the people seem to prefer to "hold onto" their aloneness. If we can accept the fact that loneliness is painful and that people do not like feeling pain, there must be other reasons why people choose to be alone. With at least some people the choice to be alone seems to be a reaction to being left by someone previously. Then, the choice to be alone on the holidays gives the message of "see how miserable that person has made me by leaving me" (through death, divorce, etc.) _ Loneliness is a self defeating cycle that can be broken, though it takes a great deal of energy and determination to do it. The first step to break the cycle is to realize that being alone feels bad and will never feel anything but bad. The next step is to set a goal of being with people who have the capacity to care, especially on holidays. It is not necessary to wait to be in­ vited for the holidays. Invite Safety Hints BBBBBBBBDBBBC In view of the severe Illinois weather which we have experienced during the past few winters, I would like to remind you that speed does not mix with ice and snow. A major contributing factor in many vehicle ac­ cidents, speed becomes even more dangerous oVi slick paveme Maximum and minimum speed limits are designed to regulate traffic under normal circumstances, but there is no "completely safe" driving speed on snow or ice. Reduce your speed according to weather and road conditions. Road surfaces vary on every city street, as well as on highways. Start out slowly to get the feel of the roadway, and test your brakes gently after the car is in motion to find out how much traction you will have. You should always reduce your speed when ap­ proaching portions of pavement which may be icy when the rest of the road surface is dry. These include bridges, curves in the road, and shaded spots wherfc the sun has not melted the ice. Remember that driving too fast on icyjSave«jent can cause skidding, ilj your vehicle should begin lo skid, stay calm and follow these two basic actions: s/op doing whatever you did t/0 start the skid, and to retain control of the vehicle by steering in the direction that the rear wheels are going. (A copy of the Rules of the Road will be sent to you upon request. Write to Alan J. Dixon, Secretary of State, Springfield, II. 62756.) others to your home for dinner or just to visit. Loneliness is never cured by waiting for someone else to take care of you - taking care of yourself cures a lot of problems. ROBERT J. PINES, M.D. RICHARD C. SMITH, M.D. ANNOUNCE THE OPENING OF THEIR NEW OFFICES IN THE PRACTICE OF OBSTETRICS, GYNECOLOGY, FAMILY PLANNING AND INFERTILITY 460COVENTRY LANE CRYSTAL LAKE, ILLINOIS 60014 TELEPHONE: (815)455-6900 tOl Ms BARRINGTON, ILLINOIS 60010 TELEPHONE: (312)382-3500 HOURS BY APPOINTMENT EVENING HOURS Child-Proof Paint. Buy 2 gallons. 6et a $5 rebate. Time was when you removed marks, stains and splatters from your walls, you also removed some of the paint But not with Moore s uavelvet" t wears like the toughest enamel. Which is amazing, since it also has the decorator finish of the finest flat latex paint Aquavelvet is beautiful to apply, too. There s no strong odor.-No thinning. And it.dries quickly to a smoothlinish that won t fade Get Aquavelvet And get $5 back on every 2 gallons you buy at the regular retail price. Now through November 30th _ Hrmiimn Af t You II love Benjamin MOOre I M°°re s child-proof paint Present thjp coupon and 'get $5 back when you buy , two gallon* of Moore's Aquavelvet Buy 4 gallons and get $10 back No kidding PAINTS Glass & 3411W. ELM ST. -- McHENRY 385-7353 DAILY 7:45-5:30. FRIDAY TILL 8, SAT. 8-5 SAVE YOUR NOTHING Who needs reasons to save? The imortant thing is to save. You'll think of plenty of things later to use your money for. That's the easy part. The f irst thing is getting into the habit of saving and sticking to it. And that may be a lot easier than you think. You might start saving for nothing, but it won't stay that way long A FULI SERVICE BANK / ' ' i l 4 • V V "A Full Service Bank Serving the Community with Complete Banking Service Since 1906" 3510 W. Elm Street and Lillian Street & Crystal Lake Road Richmond Road & Pearl Street i\idiinuiiu nudu oc rtdn oiicci McHenry, Illinois WE WIU BE CLOSED NOV. 22. THANKSGIVING 385-AQ40 • ' : - L V , ' • f' v 'M