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I'AG. 14 - PLAINDEALER - WEDNESDAY. OCTOBER M. 1983 general \ . .. .. • k * * . * " Safe homes harbor battered women Spring Grove soldier is decorated Spec. 4 Chester R. Hess, son of Audrey O. Hess of Spring Grove, has been decorated with the Army Achievement Medal at Fort Ord, Calif. The medal is awarded to soldiers for achievement or meritorious service and acts of courage. Hess is an . administrative specialist with/the 7th Infantry Division. The specialist is a 1975 graduate of Richmond-Burton Community High School. bv Kurt Bei Shaw-Free Press Media Safe homes aren't restricted to the old underground railway in the Civil War era. Nowadays they are helpin^a different kind of fugitive, with the same as ie eir and success predecessors. The victims are battered women and their children. Mary, a battered wife, likens the experience to being in a STAFF PHOTO-WAVNE GAYIORD AAcHenry Township Fire District President James Althoff and Johnsburg Rescue Squad Trustee Robert Meyer (both seated) sign a contract for ambulance service. Looking on are (I to r) Don Bentz, Jr., Don Bentz and Bill Swartzloff. The contract is contingent upon passing a referendum Nov. 8. POW camp. "You're never sure when it's going to happen", she said. "You live in fear, anxiety and stress for many years." The mental abuse is worse than the bruises, she added. "It's always hanging there, like a black cloud. You keep putting up with it, because you ao care about that person." B. J. Jones, president of the Turning Point, Inc., says the problem has accelerated. "One' out of every four women in the state of Illinois is abused sometime in her life," Jones • said. "One every 18 seconds." The Woodstock-based organization is two-and-a-half years old. Jones says Turning Point evolved with two basic principles in mind: "No one deserves to be beaten and every person has the right to deter­ mine his or her own life." Mary and her children were in a safe house recently, where she received counseling and un­ covered a new direction in her life. Her children were given chores and a chance to ex­ perience life in a "normal family", Mapr said. Her advice to battered women, or men, is to seek counseling or attend Turning Point's weekly sessions. "There are a lot of scars after all those years, a lot of resentment. It's good to get rid of it," Mary said. When freedom comes, it can be difficult to adjust and put aside fear, Mary acknowledged "People don't have the knowledge to give you. They don't know what to tell you." Mary is studying psychology at McHenry County College. She has her confidence back. "It's terrific to have a group like this," she said. Anyone can be affected. "There are basically no lines of demarcation anywhere," according to Jones. Women who flee to safe houses are generally poorer, but the wives of doctors and lawyers also are beaten, Irene, a safe house operator for eight months, explained. For them the decision can be even more complicated. They face the loss of prestige and a lifetstyle many would envy. "We have a harder time with the upper class," Irene said. Adjusting to a new home idnd lifestyle can be a traumatic experience, Irene said. Sud­ denly the woman is on her own. She and her children must live under guidelines imposed by the provider family. Providers receive $5 a day for the woman and $2 for each child, from Turning Point. It's only funding is $12,800 from the Coalition for Domestic Violence and fund-raisers such as recycling drives and pancake breakfasts. * "We eat a lot spaghetti," Irene said with a chuckle. She and her husband Bill have spent alot of their own money. "The woman really has no place to turn," Bll said. "They're virtually slaves in their homes." The women come to the safe homes bruised both r..„„ and psychologically, often nothing but the clothes on their backs. "Sometimes I feel angry. Most of the time I feel sick/^ill acknowledged. Anonymity is stressed. Everyone goes by a first-name basis. The women and children never answer the door or telephone and the addresses are kept secret. "Not even the police know where it is," Irene said. WctfX Added Mary: "It gave security right away." Women are referred to safe homes via a 24-hour, seven-day- a-week Family Stressline (815) 338-8080. The homes in the county are sorely inadequate. Since the safe home program began last November some 20 women and their children have been housed. Many were turned away. "It gives us a terrible feeling to tell a woman she has to wait for help," noted Turning Point woman's advocate Cher.nKones said 40 percent of the women who have / advocates are eventually assigned to safe homes. Women can stay a maximum of seven days except in extreme emergencies "It provides a safe, caring, non-judgemental atmosphere to think," Irene said. Women must often battle the jrception that they must have something horrible and deserved the beating, Irene said. "We're there to listen, be their friend and understand. But we can't be their mother. Bill added: "It's basically a home where a woman can get her head screwed on straight." There is no criticism or advice . given, thougfcBill admits having to bite his tongue. The idea is to force women into making their own decisions, to learn in­ dependence. "A provider must learn to grin and bear it quietly," Irene said. Mary says she is grateful for Turning Point's direction in locating the proper social agencies, andd especially for the safe home's impact on her children. Daily BREAKFAST SPECIALS $1.89 Daily LUNCHEON SPECIALS Start At » $2.89 County poor farms exist no longer for elderly 4228 W. Elm McHenry 6606 N.W. Hwy Crystal Lake by Carl Riblet Jr. Q. - "Can you tell us what happens to a person who goes broke when he is in a nursing home? He has paid out a small fortune in cash every month for years for living there and the money comes out of his savings and his Social Security income. What happens when the savings are gone and the nursing home has all of „ it? <_• In my grandpaflenUottdayN an county nad a poor farm for old people who were penniless. Where do they send old people these days who have spent everything they had at the rate of $1,500 a month when it's all gone?" -- Hazel J. A. - As anyone past 65 is bound to know, times have changed. When I was a boy of 10 or 121 used to ride my bicycle in summer out the road that went past the county poor farm on the way to a wonderful lake. I could see the red brick building of the farm as I pedaled by. There was no ivy growing on the walls. The windows were bare. I could see people walking slowly down the paths to the barn. The effect, as I recall it, was gloomy. I didn't know anything much about it, because it was a subject tjhat was taboo. The place was, the county poor farm and a good place to stay out of. I don't think there are any poor farms anymore where old­ er people are dumped to sleep, feed and die. Instead, in most of the nation's 4,000 counties, we they »v I mmwm/M 'Ptu* 3944 Main St. McHenry, 111. (ACROSS FROM McHENRY DEPOT) NOW OPl| IMON-SAI9-6 5> SPECIALIZING IN LARGE SELECTION OF PRICED TO FIT EVERYONE'S TASTE AND BUDGET! •HOUSEWARES "CRYSTAL COME IN AN» BROWSE! I can tell you what happens in my county to senior citizens who are more or less broke after years in a rest home. Anne is 84, a guest in a modern, comfortable nursing home. She is a wheelchair patient. She has a nice room on the east side of the building and a happy roommate who makes dolls as a hobby. Anne was at the end of her financial rope abom a year ago. Her considerable savings were mostly gone after paying for her nursing home accommodations for 10 years at the rate of at least $1,000 a month. She has only burial insurance, ' a small Social Security entitlement and an annuity of $35 a month. The corporation that had recently purchased the nursing home had no long te,fm obligation to help her. So what is Anne doing today, a year later? went to see the officals of the county. When it was shown that the niece, herself past 65, could not pay for Anne at the nursing home, Anne was placed on the county rolls. But no one outside the management of the nursing home was aware of the financial switch from private funds to public money. Anne lives in comfort and dignity after a lifetime of paying her way, including taxes. •0? n* * < • /.i;r 7i,v>H'}V That's what can happen to elders who go broke in some counties. If Hazel wants to know everything about the problem, she could inquire at any nursing home management office or the local area council for aging. Q. - "I think my doctor treats me the way he does because I am old. I am 76. When I go .to him I can expect to wait and wait for at least an hour before he sees me. His nurse puts me in a little room and I sit there and sit there. Sometimes he comes in and does something like taking my blood pressure or giving me a shot. Then he disappears for a time and comes back at last to talk to me. I don't think he could get by treating his younger tients that way."- Imogene S" ROOM TO CALL YOUR OWN Few rooms In the home today are devoted exclusively to rest, relaxation and entertainment Limited space, house­ hold occupants, or the busy activities of growing children make finding that 'special place more difficult than ever The addition of a maintenance-free Styleline room to your home will serve as that special retreat and assure a lifetime of out­ door viewing pleasure with the comfort and convenience of indoor living. 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FAST •Most powerful and efficient suntan bed made uses high pressure quartz lamps to tan you 10 times faster than fluorescent waffle iron type. SAFE 'Over 99% of the harmful burning rays are filtered out. lOMFORTABLI •Recline on a soft foam mattress (instead of hard plastic) in a private room, and relax while you listen to your favorite cassette tape. Afterwards, enjoy the complete locker room facilities in­ cluding a sauna, jdcuzzi and shower. •If you are not satisfied for any reason or don't achieve visible results on your first visit, we will refund your money CALL FOR AN APPOINTMENT TODAY McHENRY NAUTILUS 344-2202 She remains in her room, eats the same kind of good food, goes to the same hairdresser, has the same good medical care, enjoys treats of candy, cookies and cake, watches special movies and is moved around in her wheelchair to wherever she wants to go in the building. She is given new clothes once a year. Where does the monev come from? It comes mainly from the county, plus her S.S. check and the annuity. When Anne ran out of money, a niece, her only living relative. A. - Imogene has one of those » doctors who some other doctors call "trotters". Inspection of their suite of offices will reveal that they may have four to eight small rooms for waiting patients. The doctor trots back and forth between those little rooms. My doctor said to me, "A trotter is usually in good physical condition. Trotting is just as good for him as jogging is for one of his patients." Write to Carl Riblet Jr. at Box 40757, Tucson, AZ., 85717 for information and advice on problems of aging. No identities are revealed. & TRADE IN SPECIAL Bring in any old pair of sunglasses for $2.00 OFF on any pair of l̂auic Offer Expires November 30, 1983 Available At: ACE/ACE HARDWARE ' *•/ im W. KIM STRICT (*11. 120) lAWPWARf McHfNKV.Itl. 385-3*60 I I