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McHenry Police Chief Patrick Joyce watches bara Gilpin secures her new vehicle sticker 1965 stickers must be displayed by Jan. 31, Deaths Page J - PLAINUKAI.KR.HKK ALD. FRIDAY. JANUARY 25. IMS Arthur Harris ni tuut - McHenry, Wednesday his home ly, Jan. 23, 1985. He was born in Arthur JL^Harris, 74, of Jan.- 22 McHenry Feb IWO, the son of Gilbert and Josqphine (Adams) Harris. • Mr. Harris lived in the area all his Site and was a retired dairy farmer. He belonged to the Farm Bureau and the Pure Milk Assn. and had been a director of Cherry Valley School. Surviving are his wife Doris (Dowdl) whom he married April 20, 1031; a sister, Mrs. Charles (Evelyn) Schroeder of Woodstock; two aunts, Rose Schaefer and Kate Adams; and many nieces and nephews. He was preceded In death by his parents and two brothers, William and Ray. Visitation was held from 3 to 9 p.m. Thursday in the Peter M. Justen k Son Funeral Home, where services will be con­ ducted at 11 a.m. FViday, by Pastor Clifton H. Kittleson. Burial will be in McHenry County Memorial Cemetery, Memorials are requested to the McHenry County Easter Seal Assn., Woodstock. Frieda Granger Frieda A. Granger, 68, of Richmond, 111., died Tuesday, Jan. 22,1985, in Northern Illinois Medical Center, McHenry. She was born in Richmond March 2, 1916, the daughter of Gust and Lydia (Noyes) Klabunde. Mrs. Granger was a 1934 graduate of Richmond High School; had worked as an assembler for Admiral in' Harvard and R. C. Allen in Woodstock; and was a member of the Community church of Richmond; charter member of the VFWt McHenry; and Royal Neighbors >of America. On Nov. 29,1941, in Richmond, she married Kenneth V. Granger, who survives. Also surviving are a daughter, Mrs. James (Beverly) Hbffman of McCidlom Lake; two grand- daughtyers, Anne and Lisa; and a brother Gus of Richmond. She was preceded in death by two sisters and one brother. Visitation was held from 3 to 9 p.m. Thursday in Ehorn-Adams Funeral Home, Richmond, where services will be con­ ducted at 2 p.m. Friday. In­ terment will follow in the Rich­ mond Cemetery. Joseph Bauml < Joseph J. Bauml, 48, of McHenry, died Monday, Jan. 21, 1985, in Northern Illinois Medical Center, McHenry. He was born in Chicago Feb. 1,1936, the son of Joseph J. and Mary (Patek) Bauml. Mr. Bauml lived in McHenry about 17 years, having come from Burtons Bridge. He was a heavy equipment operator for Spancrete of Illinois; member of St. Mary Court 594 C.O.F., McHenry and' Midwest Operating Engineers Local 150, Countryside, 111. Surviving are his wife Donna (Coffey) whom he married Sept. 15,1962; two sons, Joseph James and Michael, both of McHenry; his mother, Mary Patek Bauml Geske, and stepfather Frank Geske of Burtons Bridge; two sisters, Mrs. Gene (Joanne) Moty and Mary Jo Dietrich, both of Crystal Lake; a stepbrother Jim (Linda) Geske of McHenry; and a stepsister, Mrs. Larry (Judy) Napier of Burtons Bridge. He was, preceded in death by his father Joseph Bauml. A Funeral Mass was held at 11:30 a.m. Thursday in St. Patrick Catholic Church, McHenry, with burial in St. P a t r i c k ' s C o u n t r y s i d e Cemetery. Friends called from 4 to 9 p.m. Wednesday at the Peter M. Justen & Son Funeral Home. Donna Lawrence Donna M. Lawrence, 53, of McHenry, died Monday, Jan. 21, 1985, in Good Shepherd Hospital, Barrington, 111. She was born in Waukegan, HI. Nov. 29,(1931, the daughter of Peter yL and Frances (Johnson) Freund. Mrs. Lawrence lived in McHenry all her life. Surviving are a son Richard and a daughter, Mrs. James (Brenda) Sturgill, Jr., both of McHenry; a brother Ji Freund of McHenry; and, former husband Kenneth Lawrence of McHenry. A Funeral Mass wu con­ ducted at 10 a.m. Thursday in St. Patrick ' Catholic Church, McHenry, with burial in St. P a t r i c k ' s C o u n t r y s i d e Cemetery. Friends called from 3 to 9 p.m. Wednesday at the Peter M. Justen & Son Funeral Home. Vehicle stickers due start thereafter. as CityClerk Bar­ ber car window, and penalties will Hard sell on thelatest home defense system Dick Peterson (I was relaxing, just looking at the living room ceiling. You'd be surprized at what you see when you really look at a white ceiling. I was thinking I should be less aggressive when I kill ceiling flies when the telephone rang. It was the pitchman who lets his fingers do his walking.) "Hello, Mr. Peterson! And I hope you're having a very safe day! Mr. Peterson, may I call you Dick? This is George Gottaminute! Do you have a minute?" Uh. No. "Pardon me, Dick? We must have a bad connection. It sounds like you're talking with your hand in your mouth. Heh-heh. Well, Dick, let me ask you this: Is a man's house his impregnable fortress?" Tell that to the mice, Mr. Gottaminute. "Dick, call me George. Hey, that was a good one, Dick. It sounds like you're really saying you feel threatened by intruders. Don't be ashamed to admit it. Dick: You no longer feel safe in your own home." I don't think I'm saying that, Mr. Gottaminute. "George, Dick. Don't be embarrassed. Most Americans fed that Way. And that's an outrage. There's no other way about it. I'm calling you to let you in on the ground floor of a new home defense system." Home defense system? Should I hazard to guess that you're talking about something more than the Roach Motel? "Bingo! I'm back with SNAFU." Strategic Nuclear Anns For You? "You've got it, Dick. What we have developed is the perfect supplement for the Nukette, the personal nuclear sidearm, and the basement-based MX missile. Dick, you may not have purchased the SNAFU Twin Pack, but let me tell you, brother, many, many others have. They've proliferated, in a manner of sneaking. We believed thev would make a safer America. And they have to a point. wMk (Back to looking at the ceiling and beyond.) W i f 1 " i l i i i i i i l l To a point? "Well, a few have fallen into the hands of the other side - the burglars, home invaders and otherwise dog-breathed lowlifeof our society. We hadn't anticipated that. Wonderful. "Don't be alarmed. We've developed a new system, OH SDI, Our Home's Strategic Defense Initiative. Bernhard Hugo Goetz has endorsed it - we call it the Bernie around the ofHCe. And Charles Bronson says the Bernie is a whole lot more effective against (he potential criminal element than a sock full of quarters." The Bernie? "Sure. Our market studies show people feel more com­ fortable with harmless names like Bernie than they do with catchy acronyms." A Bernie? "Let me describe it; it's really very simple. What we do is mount a small-caliber machine gun on your roof. It unloads 150 rounds a minute, it's on a rotating base, is accurate within a thousand feet for those larger lots and, best of all, it's fully automatic with heat-sensing bullets. And it makes a dandy weather vane. Also, it comes in regulation black or decorative brass. You might mention that to the little lady. Ibey fall in love with the brass model, "I'm sure you're asking yourself, 'How does this work?' Simple. The Bernie is activated by four life-like ceramic deer which are placed on each corner of your lot. Through the wonders of laser technology, the deer form a protective ring around your home. When the ring is broken by un- deskeables, the Bernie opens fire, neutralizing those who break it. I don't believe this. "Dick, if you don't like deer, we have a full line of ceramic gnomes, mushrooms, bunnie rabbits and hundreds of other castings. As an added bonus, each Bernie comes with a Cap Snaffler and an introductory subscription to Golf Digest. What happens if the other side gets a Bernie? Do we buy and better bigger "No. Nukette? "No chance, Dick. You buy a Bernie, you sign an affidavit stating it will only be used for home defensive purposes." iHOP CLASSIFIED STOCK McHenry Nautilus f IF.ALTI I & F1TNF5S CIA M SUE O'LEARY AEROBICS... THE TOTAL WORKOUT PROGRAM MON. & WED 10 am-11 am MON. & WED 6 pm-7 pm CALL FOR DETAILS •*« Mill IT.-MfNIN.V BE HIND TAY10» MADE COMPANY HEADQUARTERS Mil m 4 nil IWMl W09K0UT...344-2202 •Requires purchase of a one year membership Ofl«r Ends ian. 31,1985 PRItlSLOWU THAN A (0AL MINER'S SOCKS! 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