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2 - PLAINDKALKK-HKKALD. FRIDAY . APRIL26.1985 Opinion/Politics Rumor has it that a rhino's horn leads to dandruff as well as love WASHINGTON-The rhinoceros has been added to the endangered species list primarily because of the belief that its horns make a powerful aphrodisiac. I've never consumed any rhino horns myself and therefore cannot say from personal knowledge whether they arouse sexual desires that might otherwise lie dormant. The medical evidence, however, is not convincing. Moreover, a rhino horn is composed of matted hair, and a person does not ordinarily thing of matted hair as being unduly provocative. To the contrary, in fact. Oh, I'm sure there are people who are turned on by matted hair the way some kinky types get their kicks from reading "The Wizard of Oz." But let's hope they constitute a small minority. If some people are aroused by matted hair, imagine what a Harold Robbins novel would do to, or for,, their libidos., What is significant is that many Southeast Asians are convinced the powdered horns have aphrodisiacal powers and are willing to pay up to $600 an ounce for the stuff. Although that price, I'm told, is only about a third as much as an ounce of powdered cocaine would cost you, it is nevertheless enough to invite poachers. One-horned rhinos are said to be multiplying at a rate of 2.6 percent a year in the Chitawan National Park in Nepal, where they enjoy protected status. Conservationists, however, warn that the armor-plated animals will become extinct unless countermeasures are taken. Not only are the one-rhorned rhinos of Asia threatened. The two-horned variety of Africa also is on the endangered list. So these are bad times for rhinos all around. As to what the coun­ termeasures might entail is not spelled out entirely in a National Geographic Society article about one-horned rhinos of Nepal. It is obvious, however, that attacks on the aphrodisiac myth aren't enough. One indicated coun- termeasure might be to per­ suade Nancy Reagan to visit Nepal so the president's wife Your Legislators STATE SENATOR Jack Schaffer (R), 32nd Crystal Lake. IL 60014 56 N. Williams Street Springfield phone: Phone:(815)455-0309 (217) 782-6525 STATE U.S. SENATORS REPRESENTATIVES Alan J. Dixon (D) Dick Klemm (R), 63rd 230 S. Dearborn 3 W. Crystal Lake Ave. Room 3960 Crystal Lake, IL 60014 Chicago, IL 60604 Phone:(815)455-6330 Phone:(312) 353-5420 Phone:(312) 353-5420 0-2 Stratton Bldg. 600 E. Monroe Springfield, IL 62706 J Room 108 Phone: (217) 782-8000 Springfield, IL 62706 Phone:(217)492-4126 Ronald Wait (R), 64th Phone:(217)492-4126 1 10 E. Second St. United States Senate Belvidere, IL 61008 Senate Office Bldg. Washington, D.C. 20510 U.S. REPRESENTATIVE Paul Simon (D) Philip M. Crane (R), 12th 230 S. Dearborn 1450 New Wilke Rd. ' Chicago, IL 60604 Mount Prospect, IL 60005 Phone: (312) 394-0790 3 W. Old State Capitol PI T/a i Springfield, IL 62701 House of Representatives House Office Bldg. 210 Harts Building Washington, D.C. 20515 Washington, D.C. 20510 McHenry County Office United States Senate 56 N. William Street Senate Office Bldw;. 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" ; o of<> 'o chnose M a n u f a c t u r e r s o f PVC f u r n i t u r e f o r i n d o o r o u t d o o r l a w n , p a t i o a n d d . e c k Maintenance 'FREE! No flipping :ra Of M^riy lOv 1 >"> arc! , ! iBEST on the MARK E T 3 yr A dr rfin' y S A H takes pride in announcing our newest design oietured at right Financing A v a i l a b l e No Payments tor 90_rt«tys <r. Gilberts S&H Products S & H P R O D U C T S 140 160 W E S T E N D D R I V E • GILBERTS, IL (312)428-0707 IMoOvCaMl, Look for our sign Hours: Mon. -Fr i .9 7 Sat. 9 6; Sun. 10 5 could verbalize against rhino poaching the way she has spoken out against drug smuggling in this country. It might be, however, that her busy schedule won't permit a mission of that sort. Ergo, another palliation may be needed to safeguard the one- horned rhino. If I were a conservationist in Southeast Asia, I would consider trying to start an offsetting myth-possibly to the effect that rhino horns cause dandruff. We all know from television commercials what a dampening effect dandruff has on romance. It apparently is even more off- putting than matted hair. Takes a blond hair on the shoulder to match the cooling effect of dandruff flakes. It stands to reason that nobody is going to pay $600 to get all hot and bothered if the result is also an itchy scalp. Once the market price drops, one-horned rhinos again will be able to roam about the Indian subcontinent the way they used to do in olden times. Come to think of it, I un­ derstand cocaine causes dan­ druff, too. Dick West (UPI columnist) MM wi/lltsy fir w* THt FEW ' "TttEPfcOlD "Wfc N\W IHt PEFBHSE _ CONTRACTORS. Maybe this will get their attention WASHINGTON-How do you send a message to the Japanese? The Senate tried the 2x4 approach in its stunning resolution of March 28. The House last week voted lopsidedly for a version that was only slightly softer. It is a fair assumption that an alarmed administration privately h Tokyo. Thus own urgent signals to suggests that the Japanese allthi ky ih is sen us far ave heard a is. shorUg Ihe imu- iijtil Havm ift • • Well, unless I totally misread the mood on Capitol Hill, our Japanese friends had better take some immediate, significant and specific steps toward easing trade barriers. Congress is ready to lash out with a protectionist bill-not mere resolutions, but a bill-that could have fateful consequences. If this happens, the Japanese will have brought it on themselves. Think back for a moment to November of 1983. Spurred by the complaints of auto manufacturers, the House then voted 219-199 for what was known as the "domestic content" bill. The measure was aimed directly at Japanese competitors. The 199 members who voted against the Dill warned that its enactment would take the United States back to the bitter days of Hawlev-Smoot, but protec­ tionists narrowly prevailed. Then the bill went over to the Senate, where Oregon's Bob Packwood interred it in committee for the remainder of the 98th Congress. Behold how things have changed: The House last week voted 394-19 for its resolution. In the Senate, Packwood pledged that as chairman of the Finance Committee, "I am going to do everything I can to retaliate in kind." The situation recalls Thomas Jefferson's story of the Indian chief who put a pebble in his pouch at every grievance. When the pouch was full, he went to war. American exporters, trying to get a foothold in the' Japanese market, have en­ countered one maddening obstacle after another. It is not the threshold tariffs that are so bur­ densome; it is Japan's goose-down bureaucracy that smothers U.S. competition in featherbeds of subtle rules. At least some business leaders in Japan un­ derstand the problem. In a paper published in February, Keidanren (the Japan Federation of Economic Organizations) insisted that "our market is at least as open as other countries," but "it is true that the panoply of trade rules...ef­ fectively impedes imports and cries out for reform." "There are many areas in the administration of Japan's regulatory system that are apt to promote international mistrust-the way, for example, legal requirements to submit notification become, in administration practice, requirements to receive official authorization Documentation is necessary, of course, but the submission of un­ necessary forms, the filling in of irrelevant items, and elaborate procedures to effect trifling amendments should not be required." In addition to bureaucratic frustrations, American exporters must contend with a kind of Japanese stinginess when any concession at all is made. Sen. Lloyd Bensten, D-Texas, who used to be an ardent freetrader, tells the story of beef. The Japanese erected one barrier after another against American beef, but finally, grudgingly, agreed to admit 16,000 metric ton. "That turned Yasuhiro agreed to two favors asked by American manufacturers of telecommunication equipment, but these concessions were no big deal. Telecommunication is one area in which the or is a compete precisely as Japanese automakers compete in the United States. So far, our people are hearing nothing but a busy signal. James Kilpatrick REATfor IRADUATI0N JUST THE HOTSHOT ARRIVED! RACER! rSpecial of (he Week- BRINGIN THIS AD *5.00 OFF when youBUYAR/C CAR AND RADIO thru MAY 3,1985 I LUCKY HOME OWNERS WANTEDl COME SEE OUR MANY RADIO-CONTROLLED CARS A PLANES BE THE FIRST ON YOUR BLOCK TO OWN A: .•HORNET • GRASSHOPPER • PAJERO • FROG •OR WILD WILLY H0BBYT0WN 1402 N. 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