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Pagel^NORTHWESTHERALD SectionB Friday,July 19,1985 Advice Donald Kaul Donald Kaul Is a syndicated columnist for Tribune Media Services jr v We'll miss you,David David StocKman isn't even gone yet and already I miss him. July 9, the President's budget director announced his resignation, effective Aug. 1. A few hours later, almost in symbolic response, the President and congressional leaders reached what was called a tentative agree­ ment on next year's budget. They said that they had agreed to reduce the growth in our budget deficit, allow defense spending to rise with inflation, provide full Social Security cost-oMiving increases -- and not raise taxes. That was the agreement. - Doesn't that make you feel great? I can hardly wait until they agree to grant all American men a full head of hair, all women figures like Raauel Welch and make everybody's children above average. Heal profiles in courage, that bunch. David, where are you now that we need you? f David Stockman was not -a perfect public servant -- he could be arrogant, even mean-spirited at times -- but he had a talent for reality that is so rare in government that one is tempted to call it unique. Stockman not only cultivated the habit of blurting out the truth, he most often did it in colorful language. It was not enough for him to say that farm subsidies were an unwarranted burden on the federal treasury in these troubled times, he had to denounce farmers as "greedy." And it wasn't just that military pensions were too generous, they were "a scandal ... an outrage" and military men were "more concerned about protecting their retirement benefits than... protecting the security of the American people." That sort of talk got him into trouble, as often as not. Candor in a public official is regarded as an indictable offense in Washington. Yet he persisted. He was at his most eloquent when attacking his own kind, bureaucrats and politicians. Speaking to the board of the New York Stock Exchange last month, he said: "... as the fiscal crisis has worsened and the political conflict intensified; we have increasingly'resorted to squaring the circle with accounting gimmicks, evasions, half-truths and downright dishonesty in our budget numbers, debate and advocacy. Indeed, if the S.E.C. had jurisdiction over the executive and legislative branches, many of us would be in jail." That last crack is vintage Stockman and, like most of his cracks, true. Take this cockamamie "agreement" the President and Congress seem to have worked out. The three sides -- the House, the Senate and the President -- went into the budget process with three different priorities, each representative of their respective political needs. The democrati­ cally-controlled House didn't want to cut domestic spending or tamper with Social Security. The Republican Senate didn't, want to cut defense spending below inflation. The President didn't want to raise taxes The only thing they all agreed on was that it was essential that the growth of the deficit be cut substantially. In a rational world -- that is to say, one inhabited by skilled politicians -- every side would have compromised its priorities in order to get a budget cut. The House would have given a little on domestic spending, the Senate on defense, and the President would have held his nose and allowed a tax rise of some sort. And the budget would have been cut, not enough maybe, but the explosive growth of the federal deficit would have been slowed. Instead, we see the negotiators giving each other everything they wanted and proclaiming a reduction in the deficit. Let me tell you something, folks, it's not going to happen. The Bible According to Mr. Stockman: "As a policy matter, it is obvious enough that to close this threatening $200 billion budget gap, we must either massively cut spending or raise taxes by large, unprecedented magnitudes -- or, by the lights of some, enact a sweeping mixture of both.... "... there is a plausible case for both going-in positions -- no tax increase or no domestic spending cuts -- but neither can be responsibly held unless one is willing to spell out and be politically accountable for the consequences on the other side of the budget ledger. No spending cuts mean drastic tax increases, and vice versa." You would think that's fairly obvious, wouldn't you? Not, apparently, in the Land of Let's Protend inhabited by the President and Congress. We live in a time when people want to have it both ways and our politicians are eager to encourage them in the delusion that it is possible. Stockman was not a roaring success as budget director; the deficit nearly doubled during his tour of duty, after all. But who knows what it might have done without him? He was a voice of reason in an administration that often considers rationality a sign of disloyalty. We're all going to miss him, whether we know it or not. DEARABBY By Abigail Van Buren Accusations can hurt family DEAR ABBY: The letter regarding the ex­ pensive piece of jewelry that "disappeared" while a teen-aged relative was visiting brought back some bitter memories. When my son was 6, he and an older cousin I'll call Bobby were playing in Bobby's father's car. Bobby's sister, a waitress, had left her uniform in the back seat of that car, and when she retrieved it; five $1 bills were missing from the pocket. * Both boys denied ever being in the back seat of that car, but later Bobby changed his story and said that my son had been in the back seat. The scene that took place when my son was confronted by those holier-than-thou relatives I shall never forget if I live to be 100. My dear mother repeatedly offered my son $5 if he would only confess to taking the money. My son, with tears in his eyes, repeatedly refused her offer, saying, "But, Grandma, I didn't take any money." I knew my son was innocent and prayed nightly that someday the truth would be reveal­ ed. Many years later, when my brother's family moved to a new home, a dusty bucket was found in the corner of the basement. And in it were five very moldy $1 bills! They told my •mother about this find, but to this day my son, who is now 42, has never had an apology from any of his accusers. I write this to urge the owner of the piece of jewelry that disappeared mysteriously to refrain from jumping to any conclusions, as Petpourri Lois M£Aloon false accusations can ruin a lifetime of family harmony. IT HAPPENED IN MARYVILLE, TEXAS DEAR IT HAPPENED: Your poignant letter is sure to awaken in many adults the painful memory of having been falsely accused as a child. Thanks for writing. DEAR ABBY: A reader wrote to complain that she was made to feel unwelcome at a public swimming pool because she refused to shave her hairy legs. I would be interested to see where, in the civil code, it explains why a man may go topless to a public beach or pool, but a woman may not. Why is it that men's breasts (some of which are larger than some women's) are OK to ex­ pose to public view, but women's are not? Isn't this sex discrimination? FED UP WITH ANTIQUATED LAWS DEAR FED UP: In accordance with the cultural standards in our country (right or wrong), there are certain parts of the male and female anatomy that may not be exposed to public view. And regardless of their size, the female breasts are one (or should! say two?) of them. DEAR ABBY: My mother, who is 77 and; lives with me, recently met and became very • fond of a gentleman who is 79. His wife died last; February. My mother and this gentleman real- • ly seemed to enjoy each other's company until! his children reproached him for having a; "girlfriend" so soon after their mother's death.' The gentleman lives with his children, who; have demanded that he wait an unspecified; period of time before he can see my mother! again. ; 1 can see how unhappy my mother is, and It« hurts me. I don't have to tell you that they may I not have much time left on this earth, and it's ; unfair to these elderly people who only want to ' enjoy a little happiness in their remaining; years. 1 don't want to get in the middle of this, since ! these people are my neighbors. Please print this, Abby. There are many ! children who react in the same selfish manner, ! robbing their elderly parents of the companion- ; ship that so recently (and briefly) added a i sparkle to my mother's life. ; SAD IN N.J. • (Every teen ager should know the truth about sex, drugs and how to he happy. For Abby's booklet, send your name and address clearly printed with a check or money order for S2.50 and a long, stamped (39 cents) self addressed envelope to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 38923, Hollywood, Calif 90038.) Puppy sellers have responsibilities, too So you're looking to find homes for your little pups. They're now over seven weeks of age and it's time to advertise in the local newspaper that your pups are ready for their new homes. When the prospective buyers come out to take a look, what do you look for in a potential "good home" for your pups? First of all, I always ask the pro­ spective buyer what it is they are looking for in a dog -- a large or smhjl size, shedding or non- -shedding, what kind of tempera ment, will it live indoors or out, etc. And if they have small children, a large breed such as a Doberman may not be for them. Large, vigorous breeds tend to grow into rowdy dogs that knock small tod­ dlers down -- not right away, but give the pup about six to eight months. Give information on the phone as to price, registation, shots, etc. If the prospective buyer has children, ask thal^they be left at home so as not to pressure the parents into making a decision they may later regret. Another major concern is has the buyer owned a dog before. If so, what happened to the dog? A family that has put a dog to sleep at the ripe old age of 10 or 12 sounds like a dog-loving family. 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