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- y^?: *:m?. m>:' STUFF AA'D SONSENSE. p^p- LVKO U 1RKI. ha, -- „, Itord Harrv, be wit on tho Rliingl a one day, _ Atid his lor lfiblp with jewels was laden, < •»<! be lifted his eye, as > weet Polly cams by, Sf' -vjiWw iponatott trim flsbermaideu. wv Jior n Rtarc, with U a lordliest alt; •'!<• ^ Aiid he «(Ud. "I've deiermftied to marry; ^ , p"ve goods and I've bind, nnil here is my tuuid. '-•! , : J think ttmatatch," «rtld tlbrd Harry. " kSV*«." ' ' r > •• ; Iff'.>j-*5And what will you Rive to vow lady*• Mid 4- " Sb6, If; "To tbe bride whom TOUT lordship may ¥ honor?" s **Wby, dinner* and dresse* and money," said §{t, , ;- h-,' liifit'L. "And jewels to sparkle upon her!" Mfevou give nothing more, sir," the vntMw t» 5,X ' "plied, K _ "I pitty the girl whom you jnarryl" %•••' • .While his lordnhip looked down at her rough fisher gown. , v * *What more can she want f" cried Lord Harry. | "*SVhen 1 have a lover," sweet Pollv replied, r,' And she blushed with a suiile that was • i sunny, R ? ^fie must give me his heart, ere he makes me his bride, . For 'tis love that I ask for--not money P • *Bhe made him a curtsey, and off went my lord, • A n d i n v i t e d a d u c h e s s t o maarv. vIPbe was ugly and old, bat she'd plenty of gold, ,\ >jAnd she made a good match for Lewd Harry. -' * *e*Temitie Bar. JOSIAH'S LUCK. BT ABBIE C. M'KEKVES. , Josiab, do be careful, son, u've never been to the wicked city, I reckon circuses are about the, 'worst places going anyhow. I do wish ^to gracious you were'nt so set on goin' -•here. Selling the load of potatoes •*ed peeing the sights ought to be ••enough-1* ;• "I wouldn't drive no forty-odd miles tor the potatoes if it "Weren't for the -cirens, I know that," and 20-year-old -Josiah Leach cracked his cowhide whip «bout the horses' backs, and away he ^vent rattling over the hill while his _ •«*M mother stood by the bars and an<| in "none of ^#atched him as long as he was in sight. performing one as it was in truth, kept near the dressing-room, but Josiah did not know this; he would have cried for help only the man that left him there told him an outcry would enrage the bear, and only by perfect quietness could he hope to escape. He thought of his revolver, and at last succeeded in freeing his hands, and then he dis­ covered that his hip pooket was empty not only of the revolver < but of hie money also. .Josiah was no fool if he did fall a victim to a pretty face, Mid he began to put matters together. "First, they stole fifty cents, then twenty dollars. I reckon it was a game from the beginning, and I don't sup­ pose Mr. Bear would eat me at all; he would find me altogether too green. Mammy ought to keep me tied to her apron-strings the rest of my life--il there is any rest." The circus folks had all departed save a few, and the tents were being torn down when Josiah heard a voice near him whisper: "Come, quickly ; the door is open I We have only a few minutes' time." It was the girl he had tried to be­ friend. He quietly obeyed her, won- ! dering if she was in it all, and merely wanted to rid herself of liim quietly, " "I'd like to have my twenty dollars, they stole." "Never mind the money. Do hasten!" imploringly. , " Without more ado Jojaah and his companion hurried away in the heavy darkness. . " Where did you leave ycur wvai and horses?" V " ' Josiah told her. "Come then, yon nrast pet them at once and we will soon be off." In less than %n hour Josiab, still the best of humor, was on his way homeward with "He's such a reckless child and so j empty pockets and a strang« girl but he's no fool," aud with which "-comforting thought she let down the 4»rs that the cows could make their •way to the pasture. ! Josiah reached the outskirts of the «ty at nightfall and stopped at a small inn for the night. He was up before "daylight on lii-t way to the city market. His potatoes disposed of at a good price, iiis horses stabled, he set out to find the •circus about which sjjeh monster bills 4ud found their wav even to Possum man. " "I reckon I'm in time for the parade. "Yes, here she corneal Goodness! wasn't j i-lucky." J He was indeed lucky; the <£rcus ; ifcroup and menagerie was approach-j . iog with all its brass band, j itandsome hones, and elephants, and open mouthed and eyed Josiah | Watched it until the last little po&7 had ! $*s«ed. then he at once set out with the j •srowd of small boys who were following •Once within' sight of the majestic tents Josiah felt it hard not to omit a l»yish shout of joy, the dream of his •life was ab >ut to be realized. ®e lolled around eating a lunch and patiently awaited the time for the performance to begin. His first experience was that he paid <•. dollar for his ticket and the fellow "ifoo took it coolly told him it was but tttv cents, just wnat it should be. "You know better than that," said) <3osiali ."^Btnts anv crouching in the baqjk of the wngon. " What will mammy say ?" he thought. "I'd rutber faoe a canon. Poor thing, she may be innocent. I can't turn her out. I've got to fight it out but the $'20 we need so to buy groceries; oh dear, I did get into a pretty mess. If I'd raised a row I'd got into the papers and that'd a been worse and no money back either." At noon they paused to let'tlie horses have some hay. "It's all I can afford," said Josiah. "I've got a quarter left that will get some eakes and crackers I guess, and I reckon we wont starve, until we reach home." "I'm not hungry," said his compan­ ion. "I only want to keep hidden." At a late hour they drove into the barnyard at the old home; a light burned into the window and soon the old mother, lantern in hand, hurried out. "Sakes alive. Josiah. how late yon are ! Why, who's this?* • "A lady I found on the way. She begged to come home with me, that's all." "A lady! What did you want to come to Possom Bun for ?" coldly. "Let us go in, please," said the girl, "and I will explain everything, I am very tired." When Josiah entered he found his mother's face had softened. . .m ... t "Supper is ready. I hope you can hotly; however, Id pay fifty . both eat, the child--she's little more-- iv day to find a feller out" I can remain until we see what is best He forgot all about it later when ihe t for her to do. ^'Wonders of the ring began, and the one •ttung- that specially charmed him was *tfce lady rider who was very pretty in of the ugly paint and powder, and wfeo threw many bright glances At -Jgjith and at last a kiss. blushed, the crowd laughed <Mfcd the clown tried to make a joke. "Lor, what a beauty," thought Josiah, * ^|ov I wish I was a circus feller." ';5*laet then one of the candy boys *f|poppe& i£ Jamah's hand a note. r Woadenaglj Joaiah opened it end ""lou have such a trhe faec. and I .•IB in. Mich trouble. Will you help me? I you art? from the country, perhaps *j*wsr remote place where my cruel step- Wfeer caold sever Had me. Meet me at . desk at > . - "THX LADY Rn>ra." . That was all, but Josiah's heart thumped so he felt the persons near luin must hear it. Wanted him to . Itelp her, poor little thing! So he 'Vouid, as long as he had life. ' He was at the place of meeting as the shades of night began to gather, and •there under a small tree, was a cloaked figure. He approached slowly fearing it might not be the one he sought, -rr-r- "You have come. I am so glad. Ton ' must be at the circus to-night and at its close, that is at the close of my own tiding, I will dash through uuder the mnvas instead of going to the dressing '* -loom. J have a place prepared and you Vast be at once ready to go out and *»et me near that wagon yonder. I "will have a bundle of clothes ready but -1 must escape in the short dress.' Do understand?" ';,J, "Yes," said Josiaa bashfully, "you ¥ „ ^rant to go home with me." - "Any where, only safe out of thi« «$readful life." He was at the performance once Itore, and had been careful to present %ut a half dollar this time to pay his tare. The Test of his money, about i twenty dollars, he had carefully stowed -*way in the bottom of his hip pocket t ; v "*eith a new revolver loaded in every s ^chamber on top of it. |. , "No telling what may happen," he reasoned, "and I'm going to get fA 'that little thing off if living man can. Everything passed off as usual until % f be appearance of the lovely lady rider, y: , *ml Josiah noticed that her acts were y «luore daring than in the afternoon and |r *hat her eyes soupht him out and smiled p Aa bright recognition. p ' At last she disappeared suddenly and *»Tosiah at once made his way toward the -I'?- •*iutrance. There tlie man in charge jz- stopped him rudely. * "Whafs up now, Country ?" he v ^ squired. %^, "I'm sick," said Josiab, telling a vy ' <5so easily it would have caused his ttuother a heartache. "Sick all t«and I want to get to bed." "Lovesick, I guess," laughed the 8»ntii But the story of the lost money was not told. Josiah knew it must be told by the next day. The most astonishing thing happened, however; when he went to put his hanH in his pocket he drew forth the lost money--at first he thought it the lost money, but he found this was in two tens, the other had been in fives. He understood but xesolved to keep silent, it was evidently the girl's wish. Rosine, as she was called, washed off the remains of the paint and powder, combed her hair into one long, heavy braid and turned her hands to whatever she could find to do. "She's the handiest girl I ever saw. I don't see how she learned so many things. Poor dear, how she hates the mention of a circus." Josiah made a grimace. "No wonder, aodol" In two years Rosine was his happy wife; a few weeks after her marriage a man rode up to their door. At sight of him she turned pale. "You needn't faint, Kosine, I bring you only good news. The publishing of your marriage led to your discovery. Your stepfather is dead, and the for­ tune once your mother's is your own once more. It's only about ten thou­ sand, but it is yours and has been for several months." A handsome new house takes tbe place of the old, and in its spacious yard Rosine walks with her little boy. "There's a circus, mamma," he says, "coming here soon, can't I go? I want to see itso much." "Perhaps papa will take you; as fat mamma, she would rather not," JCWUCE WILD AND W001<IX PMUgr«w T«li« at Some Fanny Ex­ pectations in X>tUcota Coort*. "The administration of justice in Dakota when I first went out there to grow up with the country was exceed­ ingly primitive," said Senator Petti- Rrew to a Star reporter. "Judges for the territorial courts were sent out from the East--nearly all of them men whose indolence or bad character had rendered them desirable persons to get rid of. There was one instance, I remembor, where the Supreme Court was convened with only two of. tbe three Justices on the bench, the odd one not turning up. This was disastrous, inasmuch as the absent Judge was the only one of the three who knew any law. However, one of the two Justices present volun­ teered to look up the absentee and started out for that purpose. He had reason to believe that he would find the delinquent in some saloon, and so he took a look into every gin mill that he came to. The result was that by the time he found the object of his search he himself was iu a condition of utter indifference as to whether school kept or not, and forgot all about the Court and errand. „ " W hen the Court had waited vainly for an hour the United States Marshal was sent to hunt up the two Justices. He pursued the same tactic?, visiting the saloons in turn, and was in a bliss­ ful condition of inebriation by the time he - came up with the convivial pair. After another hour of delay the remain­ ing judge sent out the United States Attorney to make search for the miss­ ing ones; but he, too, pursued a like course--mind you, all this is strictly as it occurred--and did not appear again. So, as a last resort, the leading lawyer of the Territory was dispatched to gather in the wanderers, and the result this time was successful. At about 3 p. m.--the Court had been convened at 10:30--the two judges, the marshal, and the attorney were seen to emerge from a whisky shop and to pursue a dignified, though serpentine course, arm in arm, up the street toward the Court House. To gat through the door of the court-room they were obliged to relinquish each other's sup­ port, and, in trying to make their way to the bar, fell over tables, smashed chairs, and created general confusion. " 'Gentlemen,' said the sober Judge from the bench in a loud voice, 'this court stands adjourned until 10:30 to­ morrow morning.' "Soon after I took up my residence in the Territory," continued Senator Petti- grew, "I had occasion to defend a man before the Chief Justice in a case of al­ leged horse stealing. oThe prosecution had absolutely uo proof to offer, and the case against my client was so ab­ surd that I said the defense would not take the trouble to offer any evidence. Well,' said the Chief Justice, *you'd better offer some d----n quick; a cuss that hasn't any evidence to offer in this court against a charge of hoss stealing goes to jail, you bet' "Not long after this same Chief Jus­ tice had occasion to try one of his own associate Justices for perjury. The in­ dictment was brought by the associate justice's own grand jury, and the ac­ cused called in the Chief Justice to try the case in his own, the associate Jus­ tice's court. Defendant's attorney be­ gan proceedings by demurring to the indictment. This puzzled the Chief Justice, who turned to the accused and asked whether in such a case a demurrer should be sustained or not. The de­ fendant said it must be sustained, and the Justice so ruled. 'Now, what fol­ lows ?' he inquired, and was told that such action necessarily dismissed the case. 'The case is dismissed,' then said the Chief Justice, and the associate Justice was vindicated. "Another time, in trying a real estate case, I took exception to several of the Judge's rulings, and he got angry. " 'You can tell all the exceptions you have a mind to,' he yelled; 'but I'd have you to know that this Court is a gentleman!' "I note another exception to that proposition,' I replied, 'and I am will­ ing to carry it to the Supreme Court.'" -- Washington Star. "Parson Dan*' Broke H is Oath. The boys called him "Parson Dan.' flf He hurried off with swift steps toward the appointed place and there, envel­ oped in a long cloak was the one he v<. > -wished to see. . a , " H e n r y ! " s h e w h i s p e r e d , " I f e a r I <$iave been followed."' V Her words were prophetic, for at that ;.s. . 'instant out of the gloom leaped several , forms and Josiah found' himself piu- V. cioned. " What means this, Rosine ? Is this a new lover ha, ha, or a new runaway •scheme ? I saw you slip away and I followed, none too soon it seems. Take . - iiim to old Bruno's and shut him up; as for you, Miss, you come With me!" To Josiah's disgust and anger he found himself helpless as a baby, sand at last to his horror he "A Translator."' English laborers in their use of titles are governed by etiquette, which is the strong law of custom. The ̂ shoemaker of the hamlet is addressed as "Maister" Blank. Those below him in the social scale are called by their Christian names. The laborer addresses an in­ ferior or an equal with "thou," but never a superior. The wife of a shoenfaker who earns less money than a good shepherd is the social superior of the shepherd's wife, and is addressed as "Mistress." The shepherd's wife ranks the wife of the day-lattorer, who holds herself above the wife of some one lower down than her husband. It is the occasion for a smile when we read on a negro boot-black's sign the announcement that "Professor Blank shines for five cents;" but the boot- en_ j black is only following an old precedent in trying to give mooial service the dignity of intellectual work. A hundred years ago in London, at tbe trial of a man for stealing shoes, a witness, being asked what his business was, answered, "I am a translator." "A what?" asked the surprised judge, Seeing that the man did not look like a person acquainted with the languages. "Do you mean that you are a translator of languages?" No, my lud, a translator of soles," answered the witness. "Of souls, do I understand you? Do you mean that you are a clergyman?" "No, my lu4, I'm a translator, I mend boots and shoes." " You ape a cobbler then ?" "Yes, my lud," answered the chap- fallen witness, meekly. lie old over IK we did but know how little some enjoy of the great things that they possess, there would not be much entry in the world. SOME men complain bitterly of jail Sound himself locked up or rather shut > fare, and yet go back there soon mt :o with a huge bear--a tame ] being released. His real name was Daniel Higgins. He was quite 50 years old and under the average height, but he was as tough as hickory and the best workman iu the whole foundry. Long before I made his acquaintance he had "got religion," and not being the sort of man to rest satisfied with merely saving his own soul, he went to work zealously to impart religion to* others. Far worse preachers than "Parson Dan" earn big salaries in fashionable churches. But "Parson Dan" had a hard crowd to deal with, and much of the seed he scattered fell un stony ground. Often he was subjected to a deal of coarse chaffing. He endured it good-naturedly and never retaliated. But this is what made me regard "Parson Dan" as one of the finest men I have ever met: One day during the dinner hour ho was holding forth on his favorite topic. Among his listeners was an apprentice named Will Preston. As ill luck would have it, "Jake" Donohue, the foreman of tbe department in which the lad worked, came along that way. He was a big, vicious-tempered fellow, and the terror of the men under hits. For itome reason he had a grudge against Will Preston, and forthwith began to abuse him foully. "Parson Dan" in­ terceded for the lad. Then Jake turned his profauity upon him. "Yon infernal psalm-singing hypo­ crite, I'll teach you to mind your busi- nes." With that he struck the lad a blow that knocked him dbwn. "Don't do that," pleaded 'Parson Dan;' "it's cowardly." Jake's response was a still mora sul- Ehurous outburst of oaths, and to BIIOW is contempt for "Parson Dan" he aimed a pick at the prostrate lad. For a moment "Parson Dan's" fape was a study. It was that of a man struggling against an overwhelming temptation. He turned pale, his lips were compressed, his hands clinched. Then he stepped forward. There was nothing suggestive of the preacher in his manner. "Stop it!" he exolaimed, sternly, "or I'll make you!" Jake was 'so astonished thai he could merely stare without a word. But to cease to be a brute would be an acknowledgement, he evidently thought, that he was afraid. So he turned to the boy and made a move­ ment as though about to kick him again. Quick as a flash "Parson Dan" sprang at him, and with a blow straight from the shoulder struck him on the point of the jaw. "Jake" fell to the floor like a log. It was as clean a knock-out blow as I have ever seen delivered at a prize­ fight. The men broka out with a spon­ taneous cheer. "Parson Dan" looked unutterably dejected. . "God forgive me," he exclaimed, Tve broken my oath." "What do you mean?" I asked. " Why, sir, years ago I used to be a prize-fighter, and when I got converted I took an oath that Td never strike a man again, and now I've done it. W hat will become of me?" Everybody assured him that no angel would record that blow to his discredit. fork Herald. • i > Discovering America. The statement is sometimes made that Queen Isabella of Spain pawned her jewels in order to provide funds for fitting out the expedition for the dis­ covery of America. This is a very old story, first told not long after the death of Columbus, and though it is not true, its origin is not diilicult to discover. As every fact about the great voyage is of interest to Americans, especially now that we are soon to celebrate its four hundredth anniversary, we will briefly give the facts about the raising1 of the money. Columbus went to the Spanish court to lay his ambitious project before the king and queen just as the last strong­ hold of the Moors, Granada, had snr: rendered to the forced of Ferdinand and Isabella. In some respeets it was an inoporturie time. The country was exhausted bv the war which had just closed with this splendid success, and the joint mon- archs were not inclined to embark upon any new and uncertain adventure; and, what was more important, the treasur­ ies of both Aragon and Castile were nearly empty. Queen Isabella, in fact, had Been obliged to pledge her jewels to get money for the prosecution of the war against tbe Moors. i,. The Genoese navigator pleaded hfe cause in vain. The king and queen listened coldly to his enthusiastic plans, in which the recovery of the Holy Sep­ ulchre from the Turks was strangely mingled. They refused to a wist his enterprise, and Columbus in despair left Grtinada, intending to make a final effort for assistance at the French court. At his audience With the Spanish monarchs, however, there were two \ er- sons who were convinced of the truth ol his daring theories, or at least on the wisdom of attempting to prove them true. They were, singularly, the ficance ministers of the two crowns, St. Angel for Aragon and Quintilla for Castile. St. Angel obtained an audieuCe as soon as possible with the queen, and so warm was his advocacy of the theo­ ries of the Genoese stranger, so con­ vincing bis arguments for assisting him, that Isabella, fired by his enthusiasm, exclaimed, "I undertake the enterprise for my own orown of Castile, and will pledge my private jewels to raise the necessary funds." The minister assured her that this generous measure would be unneces­ sary, and hastened from the royal pres­ ence to send a messenger after Colum­ bus, who speedily returned to Granada. The arrangements for the expedition were speediiy made. St. Angel sup­ plied seventeen thousand florins from the treasury of Aragon. The three Pinzon Brothers, ship­ builders at Palos de Mogtier, loaned Columbus one-eighth of the necessary money; he having assumed this share of the expense in consideration of his re­ ceiving one-eighth of the profits. They also furnished additional money and two of the vessels, and all three of the brothers went upon the expedition, two as captains of the caravels La Nina aud La Pinta, the other as a pilot. The third vessel,4La Pinta, was impressed, to the great terror of the owner and the crew. It may be well to add that Columbus repaid the loan made by St. Angel with the gold which he brought back from the New World on his first voyage. A portion of this gold was employed in gilding the vaults and ceilings of King Ferdinand's grand palace at Zaragoza. or Saragossa, the Aijaferia, where pos­ sibly it may still be visible to the Amer­ ican pilgrim.! What Men Like in Women. There is a certain something which, for want of a better name, is called woman­ liness, and it is that wjnich makes women attractive to men. A great many virtues go to make up this one great possession and they are what men like in women. * Men like, in the first place, amiability in a woman. They like a pleasant appearance. , They like the doings of little things that ^re pleasant to them. They like the courtesy of the fire­ side. They like women whose lives and faces are alwara full of the sunshine of a contented mind and a cheerful dispo' sition. They like an ability to talk well and a knowledge of the virtue of silence. They like a motherliuess big enough to understand the wants of the older, as well as the younger boVs. They like a disposition to speak good, rather than evil of every human being. They like sympathy--which means a willing ear for the tale of sorrow gladness. They like knowledge of how to dress well, which, bt-the-by, doesn't mean conspicuously. Men are most attracted by good material, plain draperies and quiet colors; not by showy colors OK designs They like intelligence, but they pre­ fer that the heart should be stronger than the brain. They like a companion--a woman who has sufficient knowledge of the world and its ways to talk well with them, who is interested in their lives and in their plans and in their hopes; who knows how to give a cheering word, or to listen quietly and by a tender look express the grief which the heart is feeling. They may sometimes say that children are a bore and a nuisance, but a man shrinks from a woman who openly de­ clares her dislike of them. A man ex pects the maternal instinct in a woman and is disappointed if he does not find it. They like women to be affectionate-- there never was a man yet, no matter how stern, no matter how cold, no mat ter how repressive as far as his own feelings were concerned, who did not like a loving squeeze of the hand, or tender kiss from the woman nearest to him. , These are some of the things that men like in women.--ladies' Home journal. THE small bov may occasionally fail in other things, but you can depend upon it that there is one thing he will always do; get to a show in time.--• Atchison Globe. TRUE friends visit us in prosperity only when invited, but in adversity they without invitation. Inventing the Phonafrayk. ! The common phrase, "It is in the fcir," simply means that many men are thinking about the same subject, and that some of them foresee vaguely, as through opaque glass, something that an inventor may yet make a fact. Steam navigation was "in the air" thirty years before Fulton launched his steam boat upon the Hudson. Twenty-six years before that launch the graudfather of Darwin published his "Botanip Garden," which contained this propheoy: "Soon shall thy arm, unconquered ste%so: afar Drag the Blow barge, or drive the rapid car." Mr. Latliorp, in his "Talks with Edi­ son," published in Harper's for Febru­ ary, quotes several references made long before the invention of the phono­ graph, to the possibility of an instru­ ment recording sounds. When the daguerreotype appeared, Ral ph Waldo Emerson wrote to a friend, "We make the sun paint our portraits now; by and by we shall organize the echoes as we now organize the shad­ ows." The daguerreotype also suggested to Lieutenant Maury this wish, expressed in a letter 1844: What a pitv is is that M. Daguerre, instead of photography, had not invented a process of writing by merely speaking through a trumpet at a piece of paper! Instead of saying, 'I wrote you a letter last Monday,' the phrase would have beein, 'I spoke you a ream.'" Jean Ingelow, the poet, published fifteen years ago a fairy tale, in which she described an imaginary contrivance which she called the "acoustigraph," designed to record and produce music. Tom Hqod, in his Comic Annual of 1839, propounded the following query: "In this century of inventions, whea a self-acting drawing-paper has been discovered for copying in risible objects, who knows but that some future Niepce or Daguerre, or Herschel, or Fox Tal­ bot, may find out some sort of Boswef- lish writing-paper to repeat whatever it hears ?" Not one of these fanciful preshadow- ings of the phonograph had ever been seen by Edison, The idea of the phono­ graph germinated in his mind, and after years of culture, developed into the greatest of his inventions. It grew of a rough automatic recorder, invented by Edison to serve a temporary purpose. While working M a telegraph opera­ tor--reading by sound--in Indianapolis, he found that he was unable to keep up with the operator in Cincinnati, one of the quickest despatchers in the busi­ ness. The necessity of "taking" what that opera|or sent made Edison an in­ ventor. He arranged the old Morse registers in such a way that by running a slip of paper through them the dots and dashes were recorded on the first instrument as fast as the Cincinnati operator des­ patched them, and were transmitted to tiim through the other instrument at any desired rate of speed. The words would come on one instrument at the rate of forty a minute, while Edison would grind them out of the other at the rate of twenty-five--a number he could readily write out on "the mani­ fold." By this rude automatic record Edison was led to invent the phonograph. He had worked ont an instrument which would repeat a message any number of times and at any rate of speed. While experimenting with the telephone the idea occurred to him: If tlie indentations on paper could be made to give forth again the click of the instrument, why could not the dia­ phragm be recoftled and similarly re­ produced ?" He rigged up an instrument and pulled a strip of paper through it, at the same time shouting, " Halloo 1" A friend then pulled the paper through again, while Edison listened, and heard a distinct sound, which a strong imagina­ tion might have translated into the original "Halloo!" His friend wagered a barrel of apples that he could not make the thing go. Edison made a drawing of a model, took it to an instrument-maker, and told him it was a talking-machine. The man grinned, thinking it a joke, but but soon had tbe model ready. Edison arranged some tin-foil on it, and spoke into the machine--the maker looking on incredulously; but when Edison ar­ ranged tbe machine for transmission, and both men heard a distinct sound, the doubting instrument-maker nearly fell down from the shock, so frightened was he. Edison himself was a little scared, but he was glad to get the bar­ rel of apples from his sceptical friend. This was Edison's first practical experi­ ment on tbe phonograph. A Pretty Compliment. Brown is not only fond of his wife, but not ashamed of his amiable weak­ ness. 'Recently they were staying for a few days at a friend's house, and on being shown into their room, the lady, who is nearer forty years of age thau thirty, prepared to take off her bonnet. Now, be it observed, looking-glasses vary in quality; some distort, and some Batter the countenance. The glass that was on the dressing-table on the occa­ sion to which we refer was a delightful ane--that is too Bay a "flattering" one, and as the lady saw herself reflected in it she merrily exclaimed: Oh what a charming glass! I look about eighteen in it." It is just like my eyes, then," Brown promptly replied. No wonder that Mrs. Brown is still romantically in love with her husband. Long-sightedness. Whitely, the former chief of the United States Secret Service, had a most invaluable gift. He was long­ sighted, and could accurately read a written letter at a distance of thirty feet. I have recently heard of a man who has cultivated an equally valuable accomplishment. He can sit in a room it some distance from a person writing »t a desk, and tell by the motion of the hand and pen what the person is writ­ ing. Most any hotel clerk of experience :an read writing upside down. This will explain the readiness of the greet­ ing yon receive at the hands of the hotel clerk, whom you have never seen before.--Interview with a St. Louis Detective. * A Comprehensive Smile. If a woman does not like a man she can characterize him as no man ever could. A certain young man, Mr, Smith, was noted for an extraordinary &nd perennial smile. One of his lady schoolmates described a meeting with him thus: "As I was going oat of church I saw a smile down by the door; when I came nearer I discovered that Mr. Smith was iround it."--Christian Advocate. WHILE plowing in a field in Georgia, a nest of hornets was unearthed by the plow. They immeniately pounced upon the horse and stung him to death before he could be removed. A Marvelous Escape, "It was in 1882, on the 27ih of June; fou will see why I have no trouble in remembering the date. "It had been an exceedingly hot day, not a cloud to be seen, with the sun beating fiercely down, and not a breath of air stirring. We sat out on the porch after supper, trying to find a cool place. The clouds were beginning to gather, and it looked as if there might be a shower. The three little ones went early to bed, and in spite of the oppressive heat were poon fast asleep. t "It couldn't have been far from 8 o'clock when 1 heard a sound which I first thought was thunder. The others noticed it, too, and, as it grew louder, a terrible rushing sound came with it, and we looked at one another in sjlence for a minute, and then ran to where we °ould look out westward. "My heart almost stopped beating when I saw coming toward us with ter­ rific speed a black, funnel-shaped cloud, the rush and roar accompanying it growing louder every minute. " 'Run for the cellar!' I cried. My wife ran and seized the baby, and I caught up the two other children from the bed. There was no time to lose. "The one who first reached the cellar door--it was one of the older children-- had just time to seize the knob, nothing more, when--crash ! such a terrific noue! I felt myself lifted in the air, and thought my time had come. The next thing I knew, I felt the splash ol cold waten in my face. I must have lost consciousness, but the water re­ vived me, and in a moment I knew where I was. "I had come down head first into the Well. "The water was some ten feet deep. I was tliorougly at home in the water, • though I wasn't used to diving in that fashion, and I managed to right my­ self and come up head first. "The well was not more than three feet across, and the pump had been broken short-off and carried away, leaving a two-inch iron pipe standing straight up in the middle. "I was very nearly out of breath when I came to the top of the water. My hands touched something flouting on the surface. I though it was the cat; imagine my surprise when I found it was Charlie, our 5-year-old boy! "He was terribly frightened, and -as amazed as 1 was, to find l-iimself not alone in the well. The* wonder was that we were not both ol us impaled on that iron pipe; how we escaped it I can­ not understand. "The cyclone had passed on, and s terrific, steady wind was blowing. 1 could hear it roar above our heads; and by the flashes of lightning I could see that rain fell in torrents. We were both so wet we didn't mind , the little extra wflter that splashed down on us, and aa soon as possible I raised Charlie to my shoulders, and by the aid of the pipe managed to work my way up to the top of the well. This took some little time, and the wind and rain had nearly ceased whea I set my feet on solid earth again, and found we were un­ hurt."--St. Nicholas. Sensational Journalism. And now the above line of thought brings me easily and naturally to the subject of sensational journalism. It is not that I am going to object to the newspapers printing sensational news, bnt I do object, and I believe the great pnblic is with me, to the heart­ less, flippant way in whieh matter ol that kind is usually written. The edi­ tor doesn't care that there are those whose hearts are wrung by the publi­ cation of a scandal concerning one dgar to them; and no home circle is so sa­ cred that he will not invade its pre­ cincts and hound its inmates for the fullest details that can have even the remotest bearing on the case. When a man high in official place and with a host of social connections does wrong, it is certainly enough for the news­ papers to print that fact without send­ ing reporters to interview all his rela­ tives, including his sorrowful and heartbroken wife, to get a lot of de­ tails about his private life, and other matters in which the public has no in­ terest, or, at any rate, has no business co know. As a newspaper man, I am free to admit tbat I have gone on er­ rands of this nature, on an assignment from the city editor, where, if I had been bodily thrown out of the house for an unwarranted intrusion, I certainly would not have resented it, but ao» knowledged the justice of the act. I be­ lieve it is a mistaken idea among en­ terprising editors that the public is crazy for sensational reading. Do re* spec table parents want such stuff pa­ raded daily before their families ? • Do they want their children to pore daily over the shocking and disgusting de­ tails of a salacious divorce case? I think not. The fact is, brother edi­ tors, the public takes this stuff because you give it to them, but they do not want it in the way in which it is now fcerved. You doubt it? Well, pluck up your courage and try giving to your patrons a clean daily paper, void of sen­ sational features, and see if the patrons that stay with you, both in characters and numbers, are not well worth the havingt The reader who buys your paper when you have a big sensational article will not buy it when you haven't. He is your transient custo­ mer; but the man of family, who has it delivered regularly at his house, is the man who is worth most to you as a pa­ tron. And that man, even if he be not a paragon of virtue himself, is apt to be a little bit particular as to. the kind of reading matter he places before his children. Is it not high time for a change in newspaper methods?-- Ed. £. Pritchard, in Arkansatv Traveler. IT takes a DerHck to raise a laugh in Oil City. IT is a strange fact that the first appl* was eaten by the first pair. WHY does a sailor know there's a man in the moon ? He has been to sea. "BAD cooking makes criminals," sajt a writer. And they in turn- oook up jobs-.* IT is the man who peddles a biography of himself w ho takes his life in own hands. WIFE--You loved me before we were married. Hubby--Well, it's your torn to love me now, isn't it? A WIT seeing the name "Haswell" upon a door, said that the gentlemanV name would be as well without the H. MARRIAGE is never a failure, but a business partnership or a hasty contract between two people of opposite sexes is apt to grow irksome. BOBBY--Pa, what does the pawn­ broker's sign of three balls mean?. Pa--It means, Bobby, that it is two to one that the man never, redeems hit property. "CHARLIE, that's' a handsome cape * overcoat of yours. The man that made it must know his business." "Yes. Snipp made that; he's a man of great cape-abilities." MB. SOKER--Funny how one for­ gets one's Latin and Greek! I can'f remember my 'hie, haec, hoc,' even. Mrs. S--I think you remember youj 'hie' pretty well. SHE--Did papa ask you about your income? He--Yes. She--And you told him that little fib about the large salary? He--Yes. She I'm so, glad. He--Well, I'm sorry. He borrowed #5. "SAY, waiter, I reckon you've taken my order all wrong. I ordered spring chicken aqd a bottle of 71 claret. Here you've gone and brought me s 71 chicken and a bottle of spring claret." "And you say you would die for me?" "Darling, I would with delight." "Then give me that test of your affection and I will never wed another." Thus fai there has been no announcement of his funeral. "SOLS out your grocery business al­ ready? What for? "Couldn't make any money out of it? "You should have stuck to it longer. You hadn't perseverance enough." (Wearily). "No, 1 suppose I lacked sand." MB. TOOTLES (who has been scolded by his wife for being out late)--If you don't like it, my dear, why don't you strike, as factoy employes sometimes do ? -Mrs. Tootles--No; I won't strike, but you'll find there'll be a lockout some nightL "WHY, Clara, you look radiant! What has happened?" "I've just received an invitation to a wedding." "Well, there's nothing particular in that to go intc raptures over." "Yes, but it happens to be my own," and she showed her new engagement ring. CHARLES DICKENS once said: "Be nothing in the dark." He was right, as every man who has stepped on a rock­ ing-chair during the wee sma' hours ol the morning might testify. What man needs, apparently, is a night-dress with a match-box attached to it. WILL-- They say you are deaf. Is it true. Bill? Bill--Well, yes, I am deaf to certain sounds. That's a peculiarity of deaf people, yon know. Will--Oh, I see. Can you lend me five dollars? Bill--What's that. Please speak loud$c. I can scarcely hear a word you say. "Now, that's a fine picture, father," pointing to an old master in the museum. "That picture cost $10,000." "Pshaw! its nothing to brag of." "Hold on! I'm wrong," consulting the catalogue. "The picture cost $100,000. "Ye don'i say! "That's what I call a mighty fine, picture." EFEIE (to Mrs. Belweather, who ha* just been speaking of Mr. 35.)--Why, Mrs. Belweather. I thought you hadn't any husband ? Mrs. B.--Why, of course I have' Effie. Do you mean to say that you don't know Mr. Belweather. Effie--Yes, but I didn't suppose he was your husband. I thought you hadn't any. Papa said you married for money, and that was all you got. HE LOVED HER STILL. Her voice WAS harsh and 8he- jawed all taf i-.p lill her husband was crazy, aa one MS; sa'y; • From mom to night it was chin, chin. cbi% And peopte who eoabkkl help hearing tb« din Knew weU that the man bad a cross to bear, And he criod in the depth of his wild de­ spair, "I've loved, I've loved lier through good and ill. And with all bar faults I lor* her at ill." sfi!! i't •. A AsfiOsi'I dm. felt # She Agreed with Hira. Miss Summit--I presume, Mr. Dash- away. that you will welcome the flannel shirt again this season? It must be such a comfort to you gentlemen during the hot weather. Dashaway--True; but as a matter of fact, Miss Summit, I can't say that I like the innovation. It is too leveling. When I have on a flannel shirt how are you going to tell me from--er--well, for instance, from a common brake- man ? Miss Summit (artlessly)--Do you know I have often thought of the same thing? • Society Jealons'es. "You needn't put on no airs, you yaller-faced piece. We keeps a cow, we do, and a pew in de Blue Light Tabernacle besides," were the words of Miss Matilda Snowball, who is as black as night, to a saddle-colored friend. "I don't keer ef we habn't got no oow. We keeps a goat, and my mudder is gwine to hab a carbuncle on de back ob her neck," was the crushing reply-. A SLOT machine in England tells one's fortune when he drops in a penny. Col. Hooker's Appetite. A good story is going the rounds of the press now about Col. George W. Hooker, of Vermont, telling how he and ex-Congressman W. L. Scott, ol Pennsylvania, breakfasted together in New York one day and how the million­ aire coal operator told Col. Hooker that he would give all his worldly possessions for a good appetite; this after seeing Col. Hooker devour a breakfast of enormous proportions. A gentleman who read the paragraph in a Washing*' ton paper said to me: "I have a sequel to that story without which it is really not complete. Col. Hooker is fond of drinking as well as of eating. One day he was going down Broadway with the light of a recent ex­ perience beaming in his eye, when he met a friend who was well acquainted with his convivial habits. " 'Hello, Hooker!' said this friend. 'Where have you been ?' " 'Been to dinner,' said Col. Hooker, his eyes rolling in his head and his lips j moving as though some sweet flavor lingered upon them still. " 'Did you have a good dinner?' said his friend. < " 'Gooddinner?'said Hooker. 'Good dinner? The finest dinner I ever had.: " 'What did yon eat?' said his friend. " 'Eat?' said CoL Hooker. 'Eat? We didn't eat. We drank5 ington Cor. N. T. Tribune. ' Prohibition of Hypnotism. " r Among the most remarkable of the phenomena of hypnotism is the power of the operator to impress the subject to perform an action at some future time-- hours or days after emerging from the hypnotic state. The ability of a person thus to compel an innocent agent to commit crime, according to Dr. J. T. O'Connor, has aroused the serious at­ tention of physiciaps and jurists alike, while the danger of producing a wide­ spread condition of nervous disease as a result of public demonstrations of "mesmerism" is emphasized by all writers on the subject. In different European countries medical and legal societies have petitioned the authorities to , prohibit all publio exhibitions of ."mesmerism" by any person whatso­ ever, and to restrict the use of hypno­ tism to physicians with special skill in nervous diseases.