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I. VJM SLYKE, Etitsr «N PaMMMr. rn fjlaittdraln ILLINOIS, TKRT OA«l*r. v. ;> f- •-* skv ' '• !S,1H wnwetb w« make cb. ie«. i" v • ' i r> Ix»U'ier 011 mv little joke f te < » . 14 '•.V While fingering the menu : 'f -*4v TtTlieii "If 1 w«*re to order duck, 1 inluht. periio'M. ijct vou."' It tfcejprstt f waiter-girl-- Khe's onr a-uong a score; (And t.is n< t t iiat 1 love them III >'» But oil. 1 love ber more! JPuwu to the festive board I stt; She standa liehind tny chair •B catch the alittht suggestiye That tells me she is, there. ilVfypretty, pretty wnHer-fiirl! She haih a pleasant voice; <4*>f chojis ond KteHks, offish artdtowl. She biddeth m« make cli, ie«. might. periiujM, get you. Jier eyes ore on the table-cloth; Tht-ir glance, it is severe-- *<>r. should I call for veninon, ' 'Tivere you ajtaiu, my dear." ••f" **7%" vfSIie wears the loftv look < f ond Wlio searchoth Tli»> ton shelf: ; Pray, do not ask for noose." fhe said, "For you might get--yourself " Courier. BY EDW1X ICOILLNSON. M-a*;'-\ki- | " THE PSEUDO BURGLAR ' Hife ' Si .* • . I* » ' * " ' * ' ' 4»" accident in shutting the usual itC. '^iggnge train had delayed tlie regular <>".<&<" £«?xpmss, and it vat nearly 11 o'clock 1^7" f" l " <j waters the belated train glided slowly 'v' ' up io the Elmdale station. Before the '5^' had ceased moving a tall young v , " ram swung himself easily to the piat- v , , * ^ 'iform, and stood, bag in hand, looking, ;ias if undecided, toward the livery stable ^ flwroso the street Then he sprang to ^ \ j 'Vjt&e gronnd, crossed the track, and dis- Appeared up tie main road. Til walk up to the house," he said to * '# ' ^himself; "it will be quite a surprise, as lo not look for me for some time besides I am cramped and stiff ifrmn sitting so long, and it will give me « chance to stretch my limbs." « t .f After proceeding a short distance he !#«; j "(book down some bars and followed a worn footpath which led through -/#*?veral fields, until he tin ally came out a traveled highway. By this means ;* . #i« saved a considerable distance. He | came to a handsome gate, opening i|; W? Bate) well-kept grounds, and, entering, ;^i'V^.-|Njp|>roached a large house standing on ^ .. crest of a broad sloping lawn. 1 "*^oene again!" he cried exultingly; how the sight quickens one's pulse." All was dark in the house. He Iked to the rear and looked np to the ni story of a large wing at that side, .f^re he stood for a while, gazing first at windows of this room and . -*\j Jtfeea down at the broad-pillared veranda f't'" °~L •' ,'*>K|K^th. ~ i w e m l d b e a g r e a t s u r p r i s e f o , • * JSthesa/" lie said to himself, with a smile. ^wuld find my way easily to my room - • Jtttad eo one be tlie wiser. It's a regular '4fEeaJLmau's caper, but I'll venture." c~ : He set his bag down behind one of pillars and climbed up to the roof ' *ix nimbly as a cat. He found the win- r<'- " ,«iow unfastened, as he had expected, t', iixid gently raising it, leaned forward §kk1 listened intently. To his surprise ,• , Jjhe f&ncied he hoard a noise in the ad- ? , ^otuing apartment, but he dismissed the ^ ttaotiou at once as ridiculous. ^Uonsense," he thought, as a blind i . - s n "Open the door, I l>eg of you," en­ treated Gerald. "I oan't stand this much longer, t give you my word that I will not attempt to,escape." "Your word! Young man, your impu­ dence is amazing." "It's stilling in here," groaned Ger­ ald. "Have you forgotten that the Jbot- •iair pipe from the furnace runs through Urn place ? This is fearfu 11 v close quar­ ters!" "It's a foretaste, then, of still closer quarters, if you don't stop breaking into Houses." "Do I look like ft burglar?" began OeraUl, hotly. - ? "How do 1 know ? You d9n't suppose that I stopped to take a deliberate sur­ vey of your }>erson, do you?" "But you .saw enough of me to call nie a young man," returned he. "How did vou know but that I was as old as Methuselah ? * 'Aged men are not in the habit of climbing veranda*," she answered Severely. "But I should think there might have been something in my appearance to show that I was not a burglar." "How could I tell?" relaxing for the first time. "I am sure burglars ought to be able to afford to dress very well indeed." "Let me out, I say!" sputtered Ger­ ald, vith a vicious kick at the door. "I'll tell you I must have air, or I shall die." She darted to the fireplace and, re­ turning, called thiough the keyhole: Put your face here, I'll blow in some air with the bellows." Don't be a simpleton," ejaculated Gerald, wrathfully, "Stay a moment," he added, feeling in his coat pockets. "I wonder I didn't think of it before. I Listen. Here is my last letter from my mother. See, I will slip it under the I The next morning, when the jronac, man awoke, be fovuid a uote that had been slipped under Ida doaan> It read as follows: MNCOINRS MAIL. „(1 J useful In prerefati!IG> nmpriaeon tb« ! **• l*iMldwtikt candidate andlUf A4»' ! ?u*P°®ts. The Germans, ever alert to | DEAR MR. *OW*IUT; I h»w ordrrfl the oook to prejmrw a R\M>d hr*>»kfiwt fur you. and .hum's i*- «,>w wiiiiimr to drive mo ov^rto the rvot*>rv Th^rx is «o ucension for my staying any l^nsr^r. siuoo you are liore to take charRV of nff*irs. Very trn?? yours. Mint RODOKKS. As soon breakfast was finished Gerald ordered the horses and drove to the rectory. He was enthusiastically received by his old friends, the rector aud hi* wife, though neither c.>uld refrain for many moments from laughing at him un­ mercifully over his adventure in the character of burglar. "I think it is rather hard that I should stipport all this quizzing. You might ask Miss Rodger* to come and take her share," Gerald soon pleaded, glad of any pretext which might afford him a sight of the young lady. "In­ deed," he added, more seriously, "I really do want to make my excuses to her. The whole performance was an unpardonable bit of boyishness on my part; but, of course, I never dreamed of the elders being away from home." "Oh, poor Mary is more overwhelmed with remorse than you can be," the rector's wife answered, while her spouse laughed so heartily that he could not speak at all. "The child was in such a state of confusion when she saw you driving up that she rushed off as if she had wings." "Go fetch her back," said the reetor, recovering his voice. "They must meet sometime. It might as well be now as ever, and, if they will both have grace to be embarrassed, that will make the thing so much more amusing for us." "That man has no heart, clergyman door. And-here are the photographs of j though he is," Gerald vowed, and the Jtattlsd beside him, "it was nothing but#mind, if you so much as poke out the Everybody has long been :.v' tffcb* wind. ;,||i.^^abed. y - » He stepped carefully inside at this, %iad stood in the flood of moonlight ^ "booking about on the desks and benches tand other school-room paraphernalia. vThen he made his way slowly to the *4owet end of the room. He had just \* ifceached a small closet, the door of * ' "'which Was standing open, when he dis- ; ^itinetly heard a light footfall. He / jWstetojjHd, -motionless, and looked back. - <2 The Weeps came nearer and nearer. J" .£n a moment more the portiere that Iiung across the door of the next room Z5 Iwaffi ilung open, and he saw, brilliantly Uii "«l«fin*id in the moonlight, a young girl . jlialdiug the curtain back with one hand. i* was dressed in a gown of virgin **5rtaftc, -made of some light summer ma- v tie rial, but her magnificent hair fell in ~; $oo£- tresses down her back, as if she Ibad been interrupted just as slie was , N . loosing it. A moment more and she stepped ^ #«>Mly into the room, and then the f ?aststg enam saw that she had a revolver n. hex Tight hand. There was a signifi- •puKtf. too, in the flashing of her eye feod the compression of her lips that was fo be disregarded. Beautiful as she was. and she seemed .#» him almost like a vision out of Para- ¥*; he did not doubt that she would fj? |ia«e the revolver without hesitation. " '4~»bs raigbt shoot wildly, but shoot she <gou»ly would. Instinctively he dashed ¥# .lata tiie" cupboard. In a second the >«|!dck-witted girl had closed the door » *" ' «UK! tarned the key. | i F o r t h e f i r s t t i m e G e r a l d M o w b r a y j;; ^realized the danger into which his fool- i?>h £i-eak had led him. *A pretty piece of business this," he "thought; "shut up here like a caged ; pmL Who is she, anyway, and what is wise doing here? For my life, I can't jSaafee out." \ >/•" 4QHe waited a few moments and then, -:*.i|q>tx)suL*bing his lips to the keyhole, |V* liaskiwi in his blandest tones: ~ Will you have the kindness to tell aoae who you are?" • icng silence followed. ' Have tlve goodness, please, to tell jrne who you are ?" he repeated, giving , Urn door an impatient shake. "I am Ci«rakl Mowbray!" Ko answer was vouchsafed him. "Very well 4.hen. Since you do not -choose to tell me who you are, perhaps . y w. will have the kindness to listen "while I explain who I am," began "tierald softly. And then vexed at the continued silence, he pounded the door by way of emphasis. "Oblige me by •opening the door at once, or I shall be vioder the necessity of breaking it •opea." A calm voice sounded near: "Young "inso, if you make the slightest at- g^V tempt to break open that door I shall -akiKifc. Your only safety lies in keeping "I>o you want to mnrder me ?" asked Cierald, in despair. "It's so close here --Uttt I can scarcely breathe. Listen to tne, please. I am Gerald Mowbray. Thia is my home. I climbed in by the window, as I have often done when a boy.. Where are my father and mother?" _ And you expect me to believe all this? she replied with a contemptuous "For mercy's sake open the door! I •M Gerald Mowbray--on my honqr I •IB- If you dou t believe me go down- srtatra and look in the satchel which I. left on the veranda You will find let- ti6rs there with my address." _ •That's a very clever device for get­ ting me out of the way. and giving you - chanoe to break open the door. But «a ue in that fash- my little sisters. Surely, yen will be lievemenow." He noted her cry of surprise, and the sudden change in her voice as she took up the letter and the pictures. "Isn't that proof enough?" he asked sharply. Oh, what shall I do ?" she cried, de- sparingly. "How do I know but that you may have met the real Gerald Mowbray somewhere and stolen his bag, and got possession of the letter in this way and used it for this purpose ? I've heard of BUCII things. There is no end to the cleverness and shrewdness of burglars.' I can't tell whether to believe you or not. Oh, what shall I do?" "Open the door," panted' Gerald, that's what you. must do. Iam faint now for the want of air. Can't you see that I am half suffocated ?" The young girl still hesitated. "It seems to me as if you must be Gerald . Mowbray," she said. "And yet " I'll tell you what to do. Turn the key and then stand where you can cover the place with your revolver. I will only push open the door an inch or two. I don't want to get out. All I ask is a breath of fresh air. If you don't do this you may have a dead man on your hands. Don't you see that I am com­ pletely at your mercy ? You can shoot the moment I show myself." "Very well," she said calmly. "I will do that, When I say 'three,' you may open the door just a crack. But tip of your nose I'll shoot without word of warning." She unlocked the door, and Gerald waited until she counted "One--two-- three," then he opened the door and stood breathing the fresh air. After a few minutes she broke the silence. "Young man, put out your head. I want to get a good look at you." Gerald complied with her request, but hastily drew back as he saw the barrel of a pistol pointing directly to­ wards him. "Put out your head and keep it out," she said, sternly; and he obeyed meek­ ly. "You certainly look very much like the photographs of Gerald Mowbray. I am halt inclined to believe that vou are he. Open the door wider. A little wider yet. Not so fast, young man! There, now open it wide, and stand per­ fectly still that I may get a good look at you." She moved backwards step at a time until she had placed a large desk be­ tween her and the cupboard. Then she deliberately surveyed Gerald from head to foot; . ' "Turn around very slowly," she di­ rected. "You are certainly frerald Mowbray," partially lowering her pis­ tol. "You may come out, if you please." For the first time her voice trem­ bled. Then she grew suddenly white as she turned toward him with an ap­ pealing look in her brown eyes. "Help me," she said; "I believe I am going to faint " She would have fallen if Gerald had not darted forward and caught her in his arms. Placing her gently in a chair, he hastily seized a pitcher, for­ tunately standing on the table, and dashed some water in her face. The shock revived her. She looked up and said, indignantly: "You almost drowned me." "And you nearly suffocated me. So we are quits." She smiled faintly. " What simpletons we have made of ourselves! I owe you an apology, Mr. Mowbray." "And I owe you one. But I wish you would tell me who you are and how it happens you are here alone." • "I am Mary Rogers, the new govern­ ess. As Mrs. Earle had to leave, and I heard of the position while visiting my cousin, the rector here, I applied and was accepted. Your father and mother with the children sailed for the East day before yesterday. They did not send word to you because they thought to find you still in Athens. They left the coachman and cook in charge of the place, and I promised to put the house in order before I went to the rectory to spend my vacation. The servants are all asleep. I happened to stay up late reading, "that is all." Gerald took up the pistol. "Here is your trusty weapon, Miss Kodgers," he said. She turned away with a shudder. "Oh, I never want to see the horrid thing again. What if I had shot you, Mr. Mowbray?" "We should have had a tragedy then instead of a comedy. But let" us be thankful that you did not. You look worn out with the excitement, and you need a good nights' rest. I suppose I ean take possession of the guest cham­ ber. To-morrow we can talk over our adventure at leisure." "Oh. I hope you will never mention it again," she cried impulsively. "Very well. Let us agree to forget it. Here is my hand on it" She hesitated shyly. "Are you afraid to'shake hands with a burglar ?" he asked mischievously. She laid her slender hand in Ger­ ald's hearty grasp, and with & "good­ night" they parted. wife agreed in the verdict before going in search of the fair fugitive. In spite of what the good lady had said, if anybody expected to find Miss Rodgers display the least show of em­ barrassment, that person was hugely mistaken. She was inclined at first to be exceedingly stately and to treat him with considerable reserve; but it was impossible to resist Gerald's sincere apologies, and Minerva herself could not long have retained, her dignity in face of the merry raillery which the rec­ tor showered on both the young people. After that Mr. Mowbray's handsome grays were frequently seen standing before the rectory gate, and by the end of summer it was reported that young Mr. Mowbray and the young governess were engaged. "My dear girl," said Gerald, one even­ ing, holding up a letter as he entered the rectory, "I have at last heard from my parents, and, instead of the bitter opposition which you feared, they seem to have taken a very sensible view of the matter. Listen while I read: MR DEAH SON: I will frankly confess that your letter was both startling and irri­ tating. But the more your mother and I talk the matter over the milder grows our disapproval. Of course we had other views for you. But, after all. you are the best^juds^of what so nearly concerns yonr happiness. In the first place, we both like the young lady thoroughly, although we never viewed her in the possible light of a daughter-in- law. And, in the second plaee. her bravery in defending my property against a supposed burglar completely silences whatever obr jection I mifjht otherwise have raised. I make her a present of the burglar as a re­ ward for her heroism. We shall be home for the wedding. \our affectionate father. THOMAS MOWBRAY. Gerald's parents were home in time for tiie wedding, which was a very brill­ iant one, the happiest one there being the pseudo burglar. Told by Jbrfwln Booth. Edwin Booth, when last seen in Philadelphia, told an Enquirer man a good story connected with his pro­ fessional visit to Germany. In Berlin he was billed to present "Hamlet," and during the performance, in the first in­ terview with the players, he was ut­ terly astonished to see the First Actor come on the stage made up as a very old man, with a long,' flowing white beard, which reached to bis waist, making him look like the traditional Hebrew patriarch. Being unable to speak German, and the performer having no knowledge *whatever of English, Mr. Booth could not ascertain the reason of this extraordinary make­ up. He was unable, however, to master his curiosity iu regard it, so alter the representation he procured an inter­ preter and proceded to interview the performer on the subject. • "Why on earth," asked Mr. Booth, "did you make up so old for the first act? In America he is always played as a young man, and I cannot under­ stand why he should be represented otherwise." "Oh," replied the German, "Shakes­ peare himself is my authority, for does he not make Hamlet address the First Actor as an old friend ?" Mr. Booth smiled and proceeded to explain that in English a man might be called an old friend and yet be young, but the German utterly failed to get it through his head. Mr. Booth after­ ward ascertained that not only in Berlin, but throughout Germany, where Shakes­ peare's plays are done more frequently than in either England or the United States, the First Actor had invariably been made up as very aged, because Hamlet styled him old friend. Boy's Kn(ll>h, A yachtman has recently returned from a trip along the Maine coast, dur­ ing which, it is his proud boast, he took a bath by plunging every morning in^o the eea, no matter what the weather. One day he had the misfortune to get a water-bubble in his ear. As he stood on the deck of the yacht trying all sorts of devices for getting rid of the uncomfortable visitor, he noticed a small boy, who had paddled near an old dory, and was occupying himself in catching cunners. ~ The urchiu watched closely the proceedings of the bather, his face expressive of the deepest interest, and at last, unable to hold his peace any longer, he called out: "Say, mister, why don't yer hop on the foot that yer ear's got the water in ?" The directions w§re not expressed in a way to please the formalist, but they conveyed the idea so well that by fol­ lowing the boy's suggestion and laugh­ ing at the same time the yatchman soon got rid of his trouble. Making FewMt Simple words are best, though a very busy man cannot always stop to pick one. At a hotel a waiter came out of the coffee-room and informed the manager that a man was raising a disturbance becausehe could not have hu accustomed seat at the table. "Go in again," said the manager, "and propitiate him in some way." Back went the waiter, and said, you don't like the way things is done here, you can get out, or I'll propitiate you pretty quick."--Lloyd's Weekly. iML Bigr Head." "Yon see," said the middle-aged tnan, "lVas born in Sjrt-ingfield, 111., and lived there until after the war. From my earliest boyluod Abe Lincoln was to me an imprasuive figure. He used to come to my father's store, stick his feet on the counter and talk about the affairs of the nation. I was present one night hen Abe came in, looking as melan­ choly as a man whose hens won't lay. " 'What's the matter, Lincoln?' mv father asked. " 'Oh, nothing much. I'm discouraged a bit. I fear my tilt with Douglas was not very successful.' * 'Nonsense, Abe,' remarked my father. 'Your words have electrified the country; They will bear rich fruit for you. Yonr reputation has been merely local heretofore; now it is National.' . * 'Bo yoo think so? Well, I hope you're right/ Then the future Presi­ dent stalked' out into the night, looking more cheerful than when he entered. " 'I will never forget the first few days after he was nominated. At that time Springfield had no postal delivery and we were in the habit of going to the postoffice late in the afternoon for our mail. Sometimes 200 people would gather in and near the poBtoffice. The evening after he was chosen Presi­ dential candidat e by his party Abe came to the postoffice as usual for his letters. He was dressed in the homely fashion of the time aud place and greeted his neighbors in his usual democratic way. He found his box fall of letters and newspapers. " The next afternoon he came again. This time his mail filled three boxes. He was dressed with more care than he had been the day before. On the third day after his nomination he appeared at the postoffice with a basket on his arm.' He went away with his basket, pockets and hat overflowing with envelopes, newspapers, campaign documents, etc. " After that he was obliged to em­ ploy the services of a secretary, who collected his mail, and we saw but lit­ tle of the great man. Whenever he appeared in public, however, we noticed that he wore what gossips called 'his Sunday best/ " Those Were lively times in Spring­ field. The town was overrun with prominent men from all parts of the country. It was my privilege to attend the reception given to his fellow-towns- men by Lincoln after his election. I will never forget the picture be pre­ sented as he towered above his wife and greeted his old friends. There was not in his manner the slightest indication of what is now called 'the big head.' Mrs. Lincolh was very gracious and made a fine impression that night. I heard Atie say to my father in the hall­ way as we were about to leave:' 'I guess Mary will carry herself right well in Washington, old man.' "Speaking of Mrs. Lincoln reminds me of an episode that took place some years before Abe became a National hero. There was a well-to-do tailor iii Springfield who owned a handsome house just across the street from the Lincolns. Mrs. Lincoln did not feel pleased that a tailor should live in a finer residence than that occupied by a leading lawyer. When Abe was off on cir­ cuit, therefore, she had a story added to increase the efficiency of the army, made a novel experiment in the recent ma­ noeuvres, of employing trained dogs of the same species in the transmission of messages on the line of outposts, re- sultirg in great success* The animals are much petted by the men, and when not in active service, they do duty with the field watch and sentinels, and are so efficient in giving the alarm that their use is henceforth to be extended. An Anonlot* of UmUmma. /. In "The Autobiography of Aostoph Stories That tfecali the Old the Capital. _ dan Ming Iiayit * "That is the v^jy table at wliioh Henry Clay used to lose the greater part of his Congressional salary," said an old Washington gambler. *The game he used to play was one in which the blind was 50 cents and $1 to come in. There was no limit in those days, as there generally is to-day. A man oould, however, demand a t-ight fox his money. Clay's antagonist was gener­ ally a man named Bright, and both pre­ ferred to play a two handedgame. The eards Were out one day and Clay got the first deal. He was a better card shuffler than lives to-day. He could hold his .hands four feet apart and fly the cards from one to the other without a card falling. Generally he dealt with one hand and without a perceptible movement of the arm, throwing each card to its proper place with. his long, muscular fingers. "Clay was a poor poker player, how­ ever. He played for the excitement and not for the gain, and as he was careless about his bets he generally came out a loser. He almost always straddled the blind, and whatever hand he held would raise the bet of his .an­ tagonist He used to bluff a good deal, and, as this would soon be found out, he would come out a loser. "For nearly two hours the night I speak of Clay had been bavingJiis own way with Bright. He held a King full four times running, and then had a jack full. Bright did his best to catch Clay in a bluff, but it was of no use. Clay had a hand that could be beaten only, by fours. The play began at 3 o'clock, and by 10:30 Bright had lost $1,500 and had borrowed $500 from John Han­ cock. After that Clay's luck vanished and by midnight lie had lost all his win­ nings and $1,000 besides--all the 6ash he had with him. "It was Saturday night, and Bright proposed that they quit so they could go to church in the morning, but Clay wouldn't have it. So he borrowed $500 from Bright, and let the game go on. The game was continued, and by day­ light he owed Bright $1,500. He liquidated the debt by giving Bright a deed for 32') acres of Keutucky land and six shares of stock in a Louisville bank. "Clay went to chnrch all the same that morning. While he was talking to the rectcr after it was over he put his hand in his pocket aud pulled out a pack of cards along with his handker­ chief. They fluttered to the ground, but Clay was not abashed, and replac­ ing them, said that they must have been placed their as a practical joke." -- Washington Correspondence Pitts­ burgh Pre**. The l^lttle Grave. There is a pathos in the sight of an unknown grave, lying alone, especially . . if it be a little one. None can resist their house. The job was nearly finished its story of 'heirless sorrow, and even ™ „ » J TT- J the hardesi hearts will respect it hen Abe returned. He strode down the street, gazed at his house in sur­ prise, and then crossed to the tailor's side of the road. , " 'Who lives in that palatial mansion oyer there?' he asked of his neigh- bor. " 'The widow Lincoln,' answered the smiling tailor. Then was heard a voice from the top story of the Lincoln house: " 'Abe, Abe; come to dinner. You're late.'" Governments. A loyal little English boy writes the following essay on "Governments." Like some other writers who succeed in being interesting and amusing he stops while one still wishes him to go on. No doubt he has decided opinions about the United States and the "lot of others," which are superior to Persia, that **Des8pot"-ridden country which he severely places at the end iu his summing up of the subject. "It may surprise your fathers and mothers to learn that we read in our books there are many kinds of govern­ ments. Five or six I can count. In Persia the people call the Shah a Desspot. And your fathers and mothers will say he deserves it. Why, if a man does anything wrong as not to please him, the Desspot has only to say, 'Cut his head off.' And the police does it But when this man who thinks he is a king comes to Eoglan'l, he can't do it. My mother remembers him once com­ ing, and she says he had to behave his- self whether he liked it or not "IniFranee, they have not now a king. Only a man as they choose for a govern­ ment, called a president. "In our reading-books it- tells" you a lot about the country, only I can never ( hink of it. The men are too fond of governments, and they have had more of them thau any other country nearly. The Atlanta Constitution prints au inter­ view with one of the keepers of the State penitentiary. "I have just rettirned from inspect­ ing the convict camps, and during my trip I met with an incident which has impressed itself deeply on my mind. I was traveling along the line of the Col­ umbus Southern Bailroad in Terrell County, which is being constructed by theeonvicts, when my attention was at­ tracted by a little grave. "There is nothing but pine woods down there, and the great trees stood like sentinels about the little sleeper. A marble slab at the head of the grave bor© no name and only the inscription: 'Mark the grave of "your loved one.' This one small grave, left there by the roadside in the stillness of the great forest, seemed strange to ine, espec­ ially as it appeared well kept, and I knew that no one lived within fifteen miles of the spot. u When I reached the next town I made inquiries about the child's grave, and learned that years ago a white fam­ ily who were making their way to Flor­ ida camped on that spot, and during the night their little baby died. They buried it there, and left only a little mound to mark the spot where a mother's heart had been broken. "Year after year, when the men came to mend the road, the little grave was remembered, and it was. cared for and banked up. At last, three years ago, a gentleman who passed by was told the story, and it wa^ he who placed the marble stone above the dust of the little stranger." In a Changing World. Geologists have described Britain as swarming with a multitude of forms of gigantic reptiles, some of them sixtv feet or more in length, during the Napoleon was one, but there were lots [ rePtilian age---the middle period in the of others. The Government this year ^ ^ is a president. These presidents have got queer names, but they are not kings nor Desspots. "Our country has a queen who can't do anything but what f she ought to. She has been at the Government for nearly fifty years, and still she looks nice; No gentleman ean get into the House of Commons unless they know as he can make laws. But the Queen has to look them over and see if they are made rig^t. ,, { "Tb£de Commons <<4$ei *e£iuid Con­ servatives and LibJraBs, a^d they try and hinder one another as much as they can. They sometimes have sides, and then you can see it on the plakards, and you can hear m'en and; your fathers a-talking and quarriling about it." Canine Siuuggier*. The most adroit smugglers across the earth's geological historv. when mol- lusks and reptiles attained their cul­ mination and declined, and when the first mammals and the first birds ap­ peared. A striking picture of England at a later epoch--the middle Quarter- narv--is given by Owen; Gigautic ele­ phants, of nearly twice the bulk of the largest individuals that now exist in Ceylon and Africa, roamed here in herds, if we may judge from the abund­ ance of their remains. Two-horned rhinoceroses, of at least two species, forced their way through the ancient forests, or wallowed in the swamps. The lakes and rivers were tenanted by hippopotamuses, as bulky and with as formidable tusks as those of Africa. Three kinds of wild oxen found sub­ sistence in the plains. There were also gigautic deer, wild horses and boars, a wild-cat, lynx, leopard, a British tiger larger than that of Bengal, and anoWier Pyrenees that ,divide the frontiers of aQd even more terrible carnivorous France from Spain, are a breed of dogs of the shepherd class, whose origin can be traced back a thousand years, as proved by old tapestries showing the retreat of Charlemagne through the mountain defiles. These dogs have their homes in the wild region that girt Navairre to the weatf and, being taken across the frontier aodladen with Span­ ish laces and tobacco, they make their return through secret passes, and dur­ ing the dark hours of tlie night, to the gre4t mystification of the custom-house guards. They ate said to scent the officers from afar, and remain hidden until the danger is past; but then, on the other hand, when once their homes are reached, they are the finest watch­ dogs to be found in the country. Dur- iug the Car list wars some of the dogs accompanied their wasters .to the field, wd their service t were found to be very monster with sabre-shaped canines fully eight inches long. There were a savage bear larger than the Rocky Mountain grizzly, a gigantic beaver, and smaller animals, down to bats, moles, rats and mice. Changed Itis Hind. Western Hunter--If you think civili­ zation a failure, and want freedom from l o all law. all social restraint, come with t sovereign of Germany ceems to be bent IDA TII -TLLA %MAIIN4NTNA HF if V»AIL i'd NF 1 • TT !IL. LL . A Jefferson," in the Century for August, is the following concerning Hollan«,the actor: "George Holland was distinctly an actor of the old school, invariably introducing even into modern characters its traditions and conventionalities; his effects were broadly given, and his per­ sonality was essentially comic. He was quite an old man when I first knew him, and I had serious doubts as to whether our acquaintance in the theater would be an agreeable one; for by the terms of my engagement I was to hold a leading part as the comedian of the company, aud he--who had always oc­ cupied that station--was placed as sec­ ond to me. I naturally thought that feeling himself comparatively subordi­ nate, and that 1, a younger man, was to outrank him, he would, by his manner at least, recent my intrnsion upon his former ground. 1 was, however, agreeably mistaken; for I found him too generous a man to harbor any jeal­ ous feelings, and to my gratification we were friends from our first meeting. It is pleasant also to know that this* re­ lationship extended over many years, and up to the day of his death. The useful career and unblemished character of George Holland will be re­ called by all who knew him. He lived, a bright and cheerful spirit in this world for eighty years/for time could not age liis youthful heart. He was the mer­ riest man I ever knew. Practical jok­ ing was a passion with him, and though his pranks were numerous, by some good fortune they always ended inno- cently and with harmless mirth. I re­ member that on one occasion, when some gold fish had been placed in the ornamental fountain in Union Square, Holland dressed himself in full sporting suit, and with a fish-basket strapped Upon his shoulder, a broad-brimmed hat upon his head and a rod in his hand, he unfolded a campstool, and quietly seating himself in front of the fountain, began to fish, with such a patient and earnest look in his face that no one could have supposed that it was in­ tended as a practical joke. This strange spectacle soon attracted a curious crowd about the sportman, who-, with a vacant °nd ^ idiotic wnile, sat there quietly awaiting a nibble. A policeman soon forced his way through the crowd and arrested Holland, who explained with a bewildered look that he was fishing in his own private grounds. The police­ man naturally concluded that the in­ truder was some harmless lunatic, and, patting him kindly on the shoulder, bade him go home to his friends. Hol­ land burst into a flood of tears, and while affectionately embracing the guardian of the law contrived to fasten the fishhook into the collar of the policeman's coat, who walked slowly and sympathetically away,unconsciously dra8g'nf? the line and rod after him. The crowd, seeing the joke, roared with laughter as Holland quickly made his way to tlie nearest omnibus, which he leached before the infuriated policeman could catch him." Choosing an Occupation. Some occupations are, in their nature, dangerous to health. Persons employed in the manufacture of white lead, for instance, show in their palid faces the poisonous effects of the vapor of lead gases inhaled, and few are able to con­ tinue in the work for more than ten or twelve years. It should be said, how­ ever, that good authorities assert that a continuous milk diet will effect an elimination of the poison. So, also, those whose daily work in­ volves the inhalation of much dust, es­ pecially that of iron, copper, black lead and coal, can hardly escape harm, un­ less they wear nasal protectors and train themselves to keep the mouth shut. Many of the more modern employ­ ments have in them harmful ten­ dencies. The writing clerk is in dan­ ger of writer's cramp--often a serious infirmity. In many cases the mental tension of railroad engineers and tele­ graph operators results in distressing nervous ailments. The pastor is ex­ posed to nervous exhaustion from the incessant intellectual demand made on him within and beyond his parish, the draughts on his moral and sympathetic susceptibilities by his care of souls, and his visits to sick rooms and the homes of death. The physician suffers from irregular, interrupted, and often insufficient sleep, from long rid as in every sortof weather, as well as from secret anxieties over his patients. Merchants suffer from the pressure of competition, from the com­ plications and harassing contingencies of business, and from the financial crisis that so often prostrate in irretrievable ruin the strongest and most conservative houses. The farmer has his peculiar anxieties, and, at certain seasons, a very severe pressure of work. Still, most of his work favors health, while seasons of j pressure are followed by seasons of re­ laxation and rest Besides, the intro­ duction of machinery has greatly short­ ened the seasons of pressure, and less­ ened its force. Parents in choosing an employment for their children, or giving them ad­ vice upon the subject, should study their temperaments and inherited ten­ dencies. Children of consumptive parents should seldom engage in se­ dentary occupations. Those who have inherited weak hearts should not en­ gage in work involving much severe strain. A person of unstable nerves should not go into business that makes large and constant draughts on the nervous system.-- I'outh's Companion. \ He Honor* the Fair Set. Not content with appointing his aged grandmother, Queen Victoria, to the colonelcy of a crack dragoon regiment, and inducing her to have a .por­ trait painted of herself arrayed in the light blue tunice and golden em­ broidered shoulder straps of the corps, Emperor William has now issued a de­ cree ordering that all the female em­ ployes of the postal service shall in future wear a uniform composed of dark blue tunice, with yellow cloth facings, collars and cuffs, and adorned by a suitadle number of silver-plated buttons. As yellow is an extremely trying color to the complexion, the various postmistresses and clerks are reported to be on the verge of a mutiny, which would certainly paralyze the im­ perial mail service in more senses than* one*. Like his brother monarch of Da­ homey, whose bodyguard is entirely composed of Amazons, the young ODD. QUBET .AND CURIOUS. ' I* Si*«n the coins are made of porce­ lain; in Japan they are chiefly of iroo. OVER six hundred lambs have 1 killed by coyotes since last fall, no ranch, near Napa, Col. A MAX in Porstmouth, Ohio, is fonA of experimenting with fruits, and has, uj skiliful grafting, caused an apple (o grow on a grape-vine. A STURGEON recently caught in a fisb* trap in the Columbia River, had fiujj- ened in a hole in its mouth a large ircik chaiu five feet long. £ - PROBABLY with the intention of .jrs~rt-* i°g a menagerie of his own, an affc>' dacious thief iu St. Joseph, Mo., stol# an elephant, two camels, and fit# horses. IN Bradford County, Florida, there is a hollow stump which seems to hold communication with an internal world. It constantly emits a sound like that oi ' a boiling tea-kettle. IN the last ten years the population of Tacoma, Wash., has increased iron 720 to 40,165. This is an increase of 5,500 per cent Tacoma is the largeet. city on the Pacific coast, except tin; - • Francisco. A TRAMP in Birmingham, Ala., while *®ffenng from delirium tremens, saw his big toe protruding from his well- worn boot. Imagining it to be a snak* about to bite him, he smashed it with 'ft hammer. ; ; " , A KANSAS^ toper is in trouble. £^| brought suit against his wife, to conft- * pel her to support him, and lost it. w. f^1® State law interferes with hilt obtaining liquor, and he is About to lie down and die of despair. ( ^RUSSIANS dress recent wounds with Ik thick layer of ashes, prepared by tlj|| fj burning of cotton or linen stuff. "Thai simple, effective, and convenient method has been practiced from time imme­ morial by the Russian peasantry. THE higher education of women is strongly advocated in Australia. The University of Melbourne not only re­ ceives female students, but admits them to the same privileges as the males, among which are the free scholarships. MR. R. LONNEN, of Mayville, N. J.t has a wonderful currant bush. He found it growing wild in the woods, and planted it by the side of his house. The bush has grown up the side of the building to a height of twenty feet, and) is about seven feet wide. It bears "• currants as large as an ordinary cherry. NINETY years ago the seven principal' languages of Europe--English, French. German, Russian, Spanish, Italian, and: Portuguese--were spoken by 162,000,- 000 people. Only 21,000,000, or 13 per cent, spoke English. Now the lan­ guages are spoken by 400,000,000 peo­ ple; and 125,000,000 of them, of 31 per cent, speak English, LAMP-BURNEKS, to give good light, fthould be cleaned at least once a month. To clean them, take a piece of Boda the ' size of a walnut, put it into a quart of soft water, place the lamp-burner in it -- an old tomato can is good euough-- and set it on the stove; after boiling for five minutes, remove the burner and, when put back on the lamp,, it will be as good as new. IT is said that the Chinese produee I powerful anaesthetic by placing a frog in a jar of flour, and irritating the ani­ mal by prodmg it This treatment forces the frog to exude a liquid which forms a paste with the flour. The, paste, dissolved in water, makes » strong anaesthetic. A finger immersed in it for a few minutes becomes numb and can be removed without causing pain. THE best beer in Burope is made in Bavaria, where the law prohibits its manufacture from any ingredients but malt, hops, and water. Even alcohol sicst not be added, as is largely done iu other countries, to give beer strength. The greatest beer drinkers in the world are in Munich, where the average eon- sumption is a quart and a half a day for every head of the population. some, me to the mountains. My ted is of boughs, my table a box, and my chair a keg. ^ Socialist--Dat suit me. Dat suit ma Vere you get ze beer, eh? Hunter--It is not a beer keg, but a powder keg. Socialist--I--I stay me here.--New York Weekly. BE very slow to believe anything aboilt a friend that an enemy tells j-«tL on endowing Venus with the attributes of Mars, and uot only his venerable grandmother, but also his mother, his sisters and various other of his female relatives have been apj>ointed to colonelcies and captaincies in his army, and appear at reviews dressed in the embroidered and laced tunics of their rospective regiments. BE very slow to believe anything about a friend that an enemy tells you. Cooling OK A Detroit physician during the recent warm weather in that city, so says a newspaper of Detroit, taught ttro of his friends a practical lesson in the way to keep cool. The three gentlemen were walking along the street iu the.hot, sun when they passed a saloon. "I must have a glas oi beer to cool off on," remarked one whom we will', call Tom. "Will you have friends ?" "I think I will," replied Henry. "Excuse me," said the Doctor, "I never cool ofl that way. Let me BIIOW you something. Tom, let me feel your pulse. Now you, Henry. Now, then, Tom, get your beer." While Tom was drinking his beer the Doctor seated Henry in a chair and gave him a fan. At the end of five minutes Tom joined them, saying, "Atoli, but that goes to the right spot! I feel cooler." "Do you ?" asked the Doctor. "Your pulse has increased just eight beats to the minute, while Henry's has decreased, six, making a difference of fourteen in his favor. Wait a bit; don't let's start quite yet." It was not more than three minutes before Henry laid down the fan, feeling cool enough, while Tom pulled out his handkerchief, and said. "For heaven's sake,let's get out of this place, or I shall roast! I'm wet all over!' "There's the case I want to make out," said the Doctor. "Yon are warmer than before, and will be for an hour to come. Our friend here has lost his thirst, nnd is cool enough for a foot­ race." His Fault. Inventors and explorers are often - troublesome to lesser individuals. "How proud you must be of your hus­ band's invention," said some one to the wife of a talented mechanic. "Yes, I suppose I am," was the grudging reply, "but just now I am only relieved at having the thing completed. For the last year I have been occupied in pick­ ing up wheels and screws, scattered all over the house, and rubbing out draw­ ings of cogs and cranks on the flyleaves of books. * Not long ago a mother looked over the shoulder of her little girl who was groaning about a difficult lesson. The book was open at the map of Africa,and the mother exclaimed: Why, how that map has changed since I was a child ! Then it had only a few towns about the coast, and all the middle was a blank. We didn't have to learn much about the map of Africa in those days." "I know it," cried the little girl, al­ most in tears, "and it's all the fault of that dreadful Mr. Stanley 1" THE theory that good apples can not be grown in the South seems to be dis­ proves Apple ten and twelve inches in circumference are raised as far to­ ward the equator as Southern Florida.