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o Mchenky, rt»bii»h»r. ILLINOIS. p WHEN THE WORLD WAS YOUNG. Iv i 4 s ' Wlwa sn«te waridh7oai>«. m, • £:• \ : H'1 • * i sV s AlSlrillfefttMMafcftrMn; . 1.".,y« • vsryfMManraa, lad. •wry Ism s queen. ' * »I tor boot «od toi% wmrt0ffS%t the world, away; m will have its ran, tad, dag his day. ' • ; . . . • • _ * . , * But when the world J# old, la4, ' ' : Vt<£43s?' And all the trees are brown,. • / < -N$ And all Itte's sports at-© atahLfiNt, • «: •%' •> And all Ule'a wbMls ran down, ' ; ' , •, },» Cwop lioma and taka jrow place theftfc , - B» mm and ••tort mag; §4%.' ijfi, • AB ' Qoa grant yon fiad out) face tbeH Ms- • Ton loved-when you wereyomig. humbleseeker after knowledge, and j be Intimated that be thought he had j come to the right place for it Jay ties I took the compliment easily, as he j took all things of that kind. In his j lexicon there was no such word as flattery; it was always praise, and well-merited praise, too. "Have you ever heard of the science of graphology, Jaynes?" began John* son. "Have 1 ever heard of it?" scorn­ fully, repeated Jaynes, who had a faint impression that he had. Johnson realized that he had made a mistake "I mean," he said, "have you ever given the subject much thought?" "Oh, yes, I've looked into it some. Its a pretty accomplishment," replied Jaynes, who was tryimrto think what difference there was, if any, between nT,. tv TTTD /rrT . -|-) 1 nmriT) I graphoiogy and cheirosoph, of which JajKAA) H iS I/HA K.AI/TMI I he had also heard. He must proceed ! carefully les" he betray his ignorance; 'gfe- S?£> - W* pf ; !&&v 1 M If there was anybody In the world that Thomas Jaynes had unbounded respect for it was Thomas Jaynes. He looked upon himself and all his ac­ tions with as much satisfaction and self-cotuplacency as other people looked upon bim and them with sus­ picion and distrust. He thought he knew a good deal more than the or­ dinary run of men, and be never let slip an opportunity to air that knowl­ edge, and the oftener to the discom­ fiture of his associates, the better he liked it--the sweeter the victory. When he was not endeavoring to prove what he knew about any given subject, he was trying to show what others, chiefly those present, did not know. This was his invariable cus­ tom in whatever assemblage be Might And himself, by accident* or j man j alluded ta throw himself unbidden, for he was not a very Welcome visitor anywhere, excepting at the home of his sweet­ heart, who was blind to his faults and adored him. He never lost an opportunity to "call down" anyone, even his best friend, and his Mends were con­ stantly on the alert to "call him down," and whenever anyone suc­ ceeded in doing so. great was the re­ joicing thereat Jaynes, as will readily be understood, did not take bis defeat with anything like grace. He did not like the taste of his own medicine. Jayne's "face always wore a smile, at ieast it looked like a smile, but in reality it was only the imprint of a sneer with which he was accustomed to regard a defeated foe, one who feil beneath the onslaught of his superior knowledge. Jaynes was never known voluntar­ ily to admit his own ignorance upon any topic, but he was very willing to point, out the ignorancc of somebody else upon subjects of which it was well known that he possessed, if any­ thing, only the most superficial knowledge. He always conducted his arguments or imparted his inform­ ation under heads and sub-divisions, never going into detail. Either he couid not do the latter, or would not condescend to do former. Such a disposition as that of Jaynes' is an unfortunate one, and the un­ happy possessor makes enemies faster than friends. Such, at ieast, was the case with Jaynes. His enemies were many, and they were continually try­ ing te devise some means by which he might be compelled to eat humble pie, but with less success. But on one occasion they came near succeed­ ing--perhaps they did -- you shall judge. A small coterie of friends at a club to which they and Jaynes belonged were talking about Jaynes one day, when ot.e of them said, -- "Apropos of Jaynes and his dis­ agreeable know-it-all disposition, I j know of a fellow who cadis himself a | graphologist. Since Jaynes is not) here to tell you what a graphologistj is, I will volunteer the information, j A graphologist reads character from i handwriting. It is getting to be quite the thing, you know. This fel- j low is pretty good at it, too, so I am i told. He claims that no trait of the | he realized that the next best thing to knowing something was the abil­ ity to conceal the fact that he did not know it. "It is useful as well as ornamen­ tal," observed Johnson. "1 know a man who makes a handsome living bv reading character in handwriting." "Do you believe in it?" asked Jaynes. ^ "Oh, yes; do you?" "No." : . . ; Johnson might have known as much. He probably did. "It's all a t aud," continued Jaynes. "Those people pretend to be able to read character in the hand, but they only occasionally stum Die upon the truth." "Why don't you test the ability, and then refute the claims of this He claims he can read cbaraoter from handwriting. Submit to him a specimen of your writing and await results." "So it is character reading from hand writing, is it?" thought Jaynes, considerably jrpiieved at discovering this fact. "I may decide to do so," he said aloud; "not that I believe in it, but I'll do it simply to prove how far out of the way this fellow's deductions are. Reading character in hand­ writing! Bah!" "Let us both send a specimen to the professor," suggested Johnson. "Let us do it now. There is time enough. 1 oelieve the professor re­ quires a page of original composition, that is all." An idea suddenly occurred to Jaynes, and he hesitated to act on the sug- gustion of Johnson. "I shall write it in the morning," he said. "My hand is not very steady at night, and I want to give Profes­ sor What's-his-name a good test." But he did not write it in the morning. Instead he studied up on the subject of graphology in what­ ever books were accessible to him In Which the science was treated of. He obtained in this manner a pretty clear idea of the claims of graphol- ; te# . J ogy and he had more faith in it than i b® admitted having on the evening so, probably the w^en j,e discussed the subject with i Johnson. In fact, he became a con- j vert to the theory of character read- i ing from handwriting, and was quite ready to believe that the professor might be able to arrive at the truth through the medium of the written chara ters. Then it occurred to him that pos­ sibly he was about to bepome the vic­ tim of a practical joke on the part of Johnson and whoever others there might be in the secret. He knew Johnson bore him no great love "If thev think to trap me," he mused, "they have reckoned without their host*. I'll circumvent them. I'll send the professor a copy of the verses that Emma (his sweetwheat) transcribed for me the other day. She being the most gentle and lov­ able person In the world, her hand­ writing will of course show the most lovable traits of character that mor­ tals possess, and then I'll palm it off | on Johnson & Company as the delin­ eation of my own character," Then he inclosed the verses to- .. . « .« , u _ _ „ . . gether with a note and the proper ?T *;,m 8 .ra? ^ " ^ ! fee in an envelope and sealed it But Kiiiiinn fivim tno rrrannnlrifrtat. t.ndr. ; . _. , . .. . „ ,. be aid not mail It to the professor af- i ter all. He thought better of it. He ; came to the conclusion after a little hidden from the graphologist that knows his business. In fact., he claims to be able to make a deduction of character better from a specimen of handwriting submitted to him than he could from an intimate acquaint­ ance with that person. A man can­ not lie through his handwriting." "What has all this to do with Jaynes?" in juired one of the party. "I am coming to that--to Jaynes, 1 mean. If we could get the profes­ sor of graphology to read Jaynes* character from his handwriting 1 am pretty sure the result would not be flattering to Jaynes." * "Sot if the truth were told," was tile general comment. "The truth cannot be concealed-- at least, from Professor North. If i thought that he was taking unwar­ rantable liberty with Miss Gordon's property, and that he was doing something that was not square and above board, something that he would ""not care to tell her about and that hearing of it she would not think favorable of. So he decided not to send the specimen of her writing to the graphologist. Instead he prepared a page oI his * own, determined to test the ability | of the professor at character reading. "Hello," cried Jama*, when he finished reading the foregoing para graph. "I wonder whom the pro­ fessor intended this complimentary delineation of character tor? le it possible--" Then he stopped short. He began to wonder if he had sent the professor the verses written by Emma. He was pretty sure he had not He had charged his mind. "Mother," he asked, "what became of that envelope I left on my desk a week ago addressed to Prot North? Do you remember it?" "Why, yes. I mailed it. It was sealed and stamped ready for mailing and I thought you had f6rgotten it So I mailed it myself, thinking it might be sometning important I saw it lying on your desk after you had gone out. Is it all rignt?" "Far from it," groaned Javnes. "1 only wish you hadn't mailed it*. I didn't intend to send it to the pro­ fessor. " "But this is not the true delinea­ tion of Emma's character," be said to himself. "I know it is not. The pro­ fessor lied, and I'll make him eat his i words." He went to see the professor j immediately. Perhaps there was j some mistake. The professor might have sent the result of his examina­ tion of Miss Gordon's handwriting to |tome one other than Jaynes and Jaynes had received a missive not in­ tended for him. But whatever ty>pes Jaynes had In this direction were soon dissipated. The professor had not made any mistake. He recol­ lected the receipt of the two speci­ mens of writing from Jaynes "Sou know you desired me to tell the whole truth," he said, "and Idid so. | hope I haven't given offence." Jaynes cut the interview short. He did not compel the professor to eat his words. At the same time he re­ fused to believe that the professor had told the trutb about Emma Gor­ don. His faith in her and his knowl­ edge of her beautiful natuffe were too strong to be readily assailed even by a character reading graphologist. "Perhaps Emma was ill when she penned those lines," thought Jaynes. "That would undoubtedly make a difference." He questioned her about it on Ills next visit to her. "Emma, were you ill when you sent me those verses of Heine, you know." "Yes, 1 was quite ilL Bow did you guess it?" "The writing looked so unfamil­ iar," replied Jaynes, who suddenly recollected that be had never seen any other specimen of her hand­ writing. "No wonder it looked unfamiliar. It wasn't my writing." "Not yours!" exclaimed Jaynes, with a warmth and eagerness which Miss Gordon could not understand. "Then you didn't copy the verses?" "No, as I said before, I was ill, and I asked a friend who chanced to be visiting me to copy them. 1 for­ got to mention the fact." A heavy weight eeemed suddenly lifted from Jayne's shoulders. "I presume you would have pre­ ferred that I had oopied them my­ self," continued Miss Gordon, puzzled at sight of Jayne's strange' conduct Her lover did not reply. He was using all his surplus breath in breath­ ing easier. "1 pity her lover or hus­ band," he said to himself, his thoughts upon the friend who had obliged his sweetheart by copying those verses from Heine Several years later, after his mar­ riage, he asked his wife about this friend. "Jennie is married," replied his wife. "Does she live happily with her husband?" inquired Jaynes. "Yes, indeed. They are lovers still." "She makes a go<d, neat house­ wife, does she? keeps everything-- herself included--neat and clean?" ' 'She is a most excellent wife. I wish I were half as good." "Isn't jealous of her husband, la she?" "No, indeed. What a question." "Fond of dress?" "She never spends more than $40 a year on dress, so she tells me. I wish I could get along on three times that amount." "What about, ber intellectual tastes?" "Well, she reads Herbert Spencer." •That settles it," thought Jaynes. "That graphologist was a fraud. No, he wasn't He read my character aright But he certainly did make a failure of reading Jennie's handwrit- tlng. Even the infalliable test of reading character from the hapd- writing availed little in this instance. He had a curiosity to learn what j ^ clear that a graphologist cannot some stranger or disinterested person really thought of him; he wanted to see himself as others saw him, in we could only induce Jaynes to sub- J Whlch determination he exhibited a mit a cnaAimnn at rtlo hin/ltvrlf.nrt " 1 _ _ ^ ant a specimen of his handwriting--1 "That's easy enough," interrupted •' s IPred Glynn. "Ask him to write to |1A < the professor, telling him what he, 1^1 ^ the professor, does not know about ' 'Uraphology, and what he, Jaynes, ^ - does know. He won't refuse." j|u' "Jaynes wouldn't fall' into that trap, I fear. We must get him in­ terested in the subject and prevail Upon him to submit a specimen of his handwriting to the professor. From #hat I know of Jaynes, he will do so With the egotistic certainty of receiv­ ing a most flattering reply. Of course •--if the professor knows anything kbout bis busines be flattering by any means. To make sure, we can se the professor in ad- Trance and bribe bim to tell Jaynes . , rv|^ i : •, the whole truth about Jaynes." I ' , "J* the Protessor tells half the *'* truth about Jaynes we shall not need \ r' * to bribe him. A more disagreeable .. j, .Jellow than Jaynes never lived--at ?*' " JR . feast he never reached old age." 't • <•;. "I think we can safely leave it to Vv ' ijou, Johnson, to arrange matters ^ I - jrith Jaynes. He takes more kindly /afco you because you listen to him more ' Attentively than the rest of us do hen he is talking." I fchall be only too happy to take e fellow down a peg," said Johh- • 'I'll see him to-night I want tell him something--" "What?" cried the others aghast /I'Tell him something?" ' j "I mean 1 want to tell him there ' js something that 1 wish to be in­ formed about." f Ob! He'll give yon the informa- », tlon cheerfully." £/v, Johnson presented himself to the " o m n t o e i e t t t J n y n e i # ? e n « g a s a greater amount of courage than most of us possess. He sent the specimen of his hand to its destination that day and eagerly awaited a reply. A week later a reply came, two re­ plies, in fact The first one he read w as as follows: "Despite the attempt of the^writor of this study to disguise bia handwriting, be has failed to conceal his predominating charac­ teristic egotism. He is self-assertive, fond of displaying his knowledge te the world, slow to see good in other*, boastful, ungen­ erous, and altogether lacking in the quali­ ties that serve to make men popular. How­ ever good his intentions, his methods are to be deplored. He must think less of himself and more of others, talk lesa, let others talk read the character of a woman through her handwriting any more tbas tbo e who are intimately asso­ ciated with the dear creatures can. am willing to give that'professor the benefit of the doubt, but i believe he was a fraud."--Yankee Blade, thfi rpnlv won't,' more. By so doing he will make friends, of rep,T wuu * ' whom he now has but few." Jaynes could scarcely believe An Old Dutch Clock* A watchmaker m Hartford, Conn.* has repaired and set in running order a German clock more than two and half centuries old. It wa9 built by Huyghens, somewhere about the year 1640, and though it has not run foi more than half a century, is now keeping good time, and may last an other two centuries. It was found by the artist Church, in the possession of a Dutch family I in Nova Scotia, wh'le he was set off hi8 j on his iceberg sketching expedition M senses. The communication from the professor could not be Intended for him. But it contained .some revela­ tions that he could not help but be­ lieve were quite true even if unwel­ come Was he not egotistic and un­ popular? , So that is the kind of a feilow I am. No wonder nobody likes me. The profebsor sized me up pretty well, and i am afraid he didn't tell the wboie truth either. Still I wonder if be discovered all that in my hand- [ writing? I wonder if Johnson didn't j | have a hand in it? However, 1 shall try to do better," be said, aft?r some little thougnt "£ve been a fool." He did try, and I am pleased to learn tbat he is succeeding. "Now for the other letter," said Jaynes. "From the professor, too." Opening It Jaynes with much wonder and surprise read: "This specimen shows the writer to be • most commonplace woman; no intellectual tpstes; selfish and narrow-minded; oare- Ibu jHkd thoughtLesa in-ra»tter»^f deport- In that family it had been handed down from father to son for genera tions. This is one of the first clocks ever made with a pendulum. The action of the pendulum on the wheel Is not direct, by means of a (pallet, as in the modern clocks, but operates by a ver tide vibrating bar with "snugs" on it catching into the teeth at each oscillation of the pendulum. The clock strikes for the half-hour and hour, and is wound by means of an endless chain. It is an open frame of black, ancient oak, exposing the works, which are of brass and nicely finished. Minnik--I never could bring my­ self to marry a man . who had been divorced. Ugh! Mamie--He'd be lots better than a widower, anyway. He couldn't be bragging about his first wife all the time. Stunting the calf's growth is run­ ning into debt for the fut»|ip-:H^t Am Attmpt to Analyse it frtm i 8*do- loylcml Standpoint. Sociologists, both in this country and abroad, are studying the tramp problem. One of the latest writers on the subject is Professor J. J. Mc- Cook, who has flooded the country with circulars and accumulated a mass of statistics that will be of value when the next Legislature un­ dertakes to control tramps. From the Professor's investigations it ap­ pears that there are 45,845 men in this country east of the Rocky Mount­ ains who are professional tramps, have no regular calling or resting- place, and live as they may without work. Of these 45,000, eleven- twelfths are under 50; five-sixths are in perfect health; nine-tenths can read and write; and three-fifths have learned a trade requiring skill. it may thus be said that the tramp, as a rule, is perfect ly able to support himself, and resorts to vagabondage from choice. How these tramps became tramps Is a question which was not easily answered. It appeared that sixty-two percent of the whole led intemper­ ate lives; which would account for a considerable portion of the whole. Of the aggregate, sixty-nine per cent had been in hospitals. When they were discharged, iiiey were gen­ erally without resources, and if the weather was fine, some of them would naturally become tramps According to their own account, eighty-two per cent took to the road and stayed on it, because they were out of work and money. Thh statement does not quite harmonize with the notorious fact that tramps will not work, ex­ cept for a meal when they are hun­ gry, but it is explained by the work­ ing of labor-unions. In most cities tramps are supplied with lodgings at the station-houses, but the captains and sergeants in charge report that they hardly ever knew a tramp to ac­ cept a steady job of work. A roving disposition is common to all. A large proportion of those who become regular tramps were once me­ chanics and had steady jobs. They were ordered out on strike by some union, and the strike shutting them out from pegular employment, they took the opportunity of "seeing the country." When a strike throws a few thousand men out of work, the union can do no more than look after the married men; single men must look out for themselves. They are forbidden by their union to seek the only work they can get; no wonder they become travelers and wander­ ers. Their lot is not, after all, so very arduous. They can get shelter in station-houses, alms-houses, mis­ sion-houses; in box-cars, barns, aboard ships; in milis or outhouses; and, if the worst comes to the worst, they- can camp out under the lee of a fence. They must be in hard luck if they can not pick up a meal or two in the conrse of a day's peregrinations. They are careful not to overheat their blood by long journeys; a few miles a day is as much as they reckon to cover, and this is rather agreeable tharTotherwise--a gentle walk assists digestion and promotes health. On their walk they have an eye to what Coqueiin called Le Casuel; portable property, especially If it be salable or take the shape of clothes, always handy. But to the genuine tramp, the proceeds of theft are a by-product of his industry. Looking at the tramp nuisance from the standpoint of society at large, it costs just what the tramps consume plus what 45,000 men would have produced If they had been en­ gaged in active industry. Professor McCook estimates the total amount at something under ten millions a yelkr. As his researches do not seem to have extended to this coast, we may assume that, if his basis of calcu­ lation is accurate, the real cost of tbe tramps to the country is over ten millions a year. This is a smaller sum than the country loses by strikes. In six years, according to the United States Department of Labor, labor strikes cost $98,544,391, of which •64,379,477 was borne by labor and $34,164,914 by capital; that is to say, £n average of $16,424,065 per annum --say six millions more per year than the outlay which is chargeable to the tramp nuisance. Of course the labor unions will claim that they went to this expense for the maintenance of wages, while the tramps have no off­ set against their cost. The walking delegates are entitled to the benefit of their contention, such as it is. In cases ltke the Homestead strike, it does not amount to much. That enterprise costs directly something over $750,000, and, so far from help­ ing wages, it completely broke down the union of the Amalgamated Steel and iron-Workers. But that im an­ other story. About Undershirts. ' Just now there is a very strong un­ dercurrent of feeling against tbe un­ dershirt Two stirring attacks upon tbat garment have recently appeared, and we understand that there is considerable excitement in New York and other cities on the subject It is claimed that tbe undershirt as at present constituted, is a menace to one of the most cherished and an­ cient of our institutions. The agita­ tors against it assert that the admira­ tion upon which marriage is founded Is invariably destroyed by the under­ shirt, not, as might be supposed, be­ cause it conceals, but because it re- reveals too much. As our esteemed but very ungrammatical contemporary, the Clothier and Furnisher, master­ fully states it in advocatnig an un­ dershirt that buttons (and unbut­ tons) all the way down the front: "There would be no ungainly ex­ posure of cuticle fb such a procedure [meaning^getting out of and into it] and tbe wearer would be saved the humiliating tangle which the pre­ vailing undershirt involves him in. There is nothing so unpicturesque to the feminine eye as to see her liege lord fighting his way through his series of sMrts. It Is a divertise- ment calculated to rob even the honeymoon of much of its romance. It is small wonder that after such a performance the ideal of heroic man­ hood should be shattered." And af­ ter that, of course, marital felicity is nothing but a name and the divorce court looms imminent on the horizon. If this be so, we say down, or rather off, with the undershirtl It is an In­ vention of the devil. More than lift thi imdenblri to no more A cult' When yot| oobsider how civil 1. tatioli Mi MtsiK&L liie Ojratof iio«r, When the New Orleans man rettimi from making a night of it "with the boys" he provides himself with what is known as peacemaker, and carries it home under his arm. The peace­ maker is also known as an oyster loaf, and it is the chief product of certain hostelrles called oyster saloona The manufacture of the oyster loaf is des­ cribed in this fashion: A box-shaped loaf of bread is taken--one that has a thick, firm crust--and the top crust is cut off so as to form a cover. Then the inside is hollowed out with a knife made for that purpose until a wall of the snowy Interior remains about half an inch in thickness. It is done so neatly that the pastry box looks as if it had been lined with white velvet Into this pining hot fried oysters are packed until the loaf is full, and then the cover is tied on with a white ribbon. When the whole has been wrapped in paper, the buyer fiees as a bird to his hom& Tae little difficulty with the key­ hole overcome, lie steps into the awful presence undismayed. There she stands, grim as of yore, but with­ out an apologetic word the erring one climbs slowly up the stair and holds forth the peacemaker. She takes it, puts down the lamp and removes the cover. The deliciously flavored steam ascends like sweet incense until it reaches her rigid nostrils, and then her stern features relax into some­ thing like a smile. While her lord is hanging his shoes on the chande­ lier and depositing his hat carefully in the wash basin, she sits on the side of the bed eating the spoils of domestic war! There are no prom­ ises to go unfulfilled and become the cause of future bitternaes. With oil thus turned on the waves of life's troubled sea the matrimonial nark sails bravely on.--New York World. About Marriage. No test of character is more trying than the test matrimonial, if the contracting parties are not perfectly harmonious, says a writer in an Eng­ lish Magazine. Marriage can become obnoxious from excess of attention, if not in­ dulged in the right spirit, and equally from neglect and indifference. A wife may make such demands upon her husband's attention and time as to make himself little better than a slave, and slavery is galling to the most submissive. Such a wife puts shackles on his feet, a palsy to his hands, and a bur­ den to his shouldera Each should have perfect confidence in the other. Should one remain away from the other any length of time unaccounted for by him, let silence be vour moni­ tor until a voluntary return reveals the secret of the absence. Both men and women, united in the marriage relation, are necessarily tried and perplexed at seasons, when silence should close their lips until moderation takes pos ession of them. Jealousness of trifling natures should never be entertained for a sin­ gle moment To prevent all such misunderstand­ ings, persons entering the sacred or­ deal of married life should acquaint themselves with the disposition, tastes, and unavoidable requirements of their partners, and resolve to gov­ ern themselves as much as possible thereby. His Proud Pre-eminence. Some years ago a physician, named Barber, lived at Oshkosh. One day he was called to see a man a few miles from town. It was a serious ' women SUfeP I* 0066 MEiMOMM. am&ioHtaffRMeonaSta** la 1 tlb--ft HftUtwo* Etw todac-- jRiii,<i - v. , of an attack upon a stage tioteh, by Indians, in the Hays before Kansas was as well settled as she is now, Will give the reader a fair idea of the ex­ citing experience of travelers in that region. "Did you see that?" A stage coach which has been push­ ing along the overland trail in West­ ern Kansas is suddenly pulled up by tbe driver, who rises in his seat, points to the broken ground on tbe right and ahead, and turns to the two outside passengers to repeat: "Did ye see that? Thar's Injuns ambushed in the dry ravine ahead." Two passengers on top--five inside --seven in all, but two of them are women--wives of army officers. Five men with guns and pistola The driver won't count unless a bullet brings down one of his horsea "Beady inside, thar?" he asks. ••Tell them wimen-folks to crouch down on the floor and keep quiet Throw open them doors and fasten 'em back. One of you better cum up yere. Now, then, thar' may be ten or fifteen, or thar may be fifty or sixty of tbe varmints. They've got their ponies, in course. They'll make the rush jest whar the road bends to'rds the river. They'll cum whoopin' and yellin' like lunatics broke loose, but don't let the noise rattle ye. I'm goin' to put my horses on the dead run and Keep 'em going at that, and 1 expect the rest of ye to do the shootin'. Everybody all ready? Then here goes!" Two women crouching on the floor of the coach nraying to God--five pale-faced men with teeth hard set gripping their rifles and determined to make a good fight of It With a shake of the lines the driver breaks the four horses into a run, and then braces his feet and looks straight ahead. The spirited animals will be terror stricken at the first yell and run away. He must keep the coach in the road or a wipe-out is certain. Yes, the Indians are theie--half a hundred of them. They have been in ambush for an hour. This is the first stage to the West for tbree da} s; it will be the last for a fortnight It is another Indian outbreak and Cus­ ter's men will ride over the Smoky Hill section to find mutilated corpses at every relay-house for 100 miles. The bend in the road is reached, and of a sudden fifty ponies rush out of the dry ravines, which spread out there like the fingers of a human hand, and fifty Indian warriors whoop, ihriek, and yell at the top of their voices. They fire their rifles and discharge their arrows as they charge, but it is a wild fusilade. "Steady, now!" calls the driver, but keeping his eyes on his flying horses. "My little trick has knocked 'em out They'll hev' to swing in be­ hind us, and you fellers want to take it cool and not waste yer lead. Geewhew, but ain't them horses cut- tin' out the pace?" The Indians fire at tbe men on the roof--they urge their ponies to over­ take the swayinc, bounding, flying coach--they yell like devils let loose. Crack! crackl crack! go their rifles. A pony falls--a warrior throws up his hands and tumbles to the earth-- the driver gets a firmer grip on the lines and mutters: "Splendid! splendid! Couldn't ask 'em to do better! If them fellers in­ side has got sand we'll pull through!" The warriors were gaining. With a sudden rush the mob parted to taKe the stage right and left and to get at the horses. Then from the open door rifles and revolvers cracked--from the crouched on the floor with ! $ Vv-fjj case, and, after doing what he could for the patient, Dr. Barber called his employer aside and said: "Well, your hired man can't get over this. He'll probably be dead be­ fore morning. It's a very contagious disease, too, he's got, so you ought do get him buried as soon as you caa I advise you to go and dig his grave right away, and as soon as he is dead bury him." Dr. Barber took his departure and the farmer dug the grave. - But the patient recovered, it was very unprofessional for him to do this under the circumstances; but he didn't die, and that grave became a subject of a good deal of talk. Dr. Barber was continually hearing of it Some months later ia brother physi­ cian . died, and the local physicians met to decide what should be dona He had come from Canada, and it was supposed tbat perhaps his Canadian friends might want him buried in the Dominion. "We might inter him temporarily," observed one of the physicians, with a glance toward Dr Barber. "I un­ derstand that our brother here has a vacant grave on hand." "Yes," retorted Dr. Barber, C*I suppose I'm the only doctor here who hasn't got all his graves fulL "--Pitts­ burgh Chronicle. t • Dueling Is No Joke* It is a great mistake to imagine that casualties are the exception to European meetings on the field of honor, says the St Louis Republia On the contrary, they constitute the rule, their average amounting to as high as 80 per cent of the duels fought in Germany, Australia, Italy, Bussia, Beiffium, Holland, and Spain, while in France the average is only about 40 per cent There were 4,000 duels fought during the year 1890, in which 700 men were killed outright, 1,000 sustained dangerous wounds which in many cases resulted fatally, while no less than 4,800 of the re­ maining combatants received minor injuries. That is tj say, out of 8,000 principals in 4,000 duels only 1,400 escaped without harm. The average is nearly identical in the other coun­ tries above named, these figures be­ ing based on official records. From this it will be seen, except perhaps in France, the chances of escaping scatheless from a duel are relatively very small. Another disagreeable consideration of tbe "affair of honor" is the knowl­ edge that instead of getting hurt or killed yourself, you may have the misfortune to Inflict a mortal wound upon your .adversary, in which case the tribunals of the country will gen­ erally sentence you to a term of sev­ eral months imprisonment and to pay heavy damages to the relatives of the dead man. ' faces burled in their hands came: shrieks and walls of despair. "It's a straight run now, and the Lord help us!" whispered the driver, i as he shifted all the lines to his left hand and drew his revolver and opened tire. "Take that, ye painted devil! Down ye go, ye spotted cay use!, That's the last errer you'll ever shute, my yellin' buck! Revolvers is the thing, boys--down with yer rifles and use them barkersl" "Oh, God! have pity on us!" prayed the women between their sobs, but the white-faced men firing through the open doors over their heads heard them not Thud! splash! whizz! came bullet and arrow. There was the jingle of breaking glass--splint­ ers flew about--drops of blood fell upon the upturned faces and burned like fire. All at once pandemonium ceased and silence reigned. The In­ dians had abandoned the attack. On that three-mile stretch lay a dozen dead and wounded bucks--more than that number of dead and wounded ponies. j "Whoa! my beauties!" called the driver, as he laid aside his pistol and , separated the lines. "This ere fout is over, and ye needn't throw any more shoes off. Easy, now--whoa! How is it with you fellers back thar?" As the frightened horses began to slacken their pace he cast a swift glance over his shoulder. The three men were lying down on the roof. Half a mile further on he brought the horses to a halt and called to those inside A man with blood on his face and hands stepped out and AdlTA/l * "Are they gone?" j "Yes--licked 'em In a fa'r fout Anybody hurt down thar?" , "Women all right -- men all wounded. How is it up there?" 1 sWhea, horses! Lernme see. This feller's dead--'tother one only hard hit, I guess. That'll do. That's a heap better'n the seven who was clean wiped out Monday afternoon. Git in and chirk up the wimen. We've passed the danger p'int, and its only two miles to Na 4. Some­ body must have bin prayln' to God to pull us through, and He's dun It In purty good shape." Paper Hangers' Paste. A gaod paper hangers' paste la made of four pounds of fine wheaten flour mixed with a small quantity of cold water, thoroughly stirred; two ounces of powdered alum are then added, and when dissolved a gallon of boiling water. When cool it may be thinned as desired with cold water and used. Marie--Frank told me last night I was the only girl be ever loved. Kittle--Pshtiw, he was engaged to me a month aga Marie--Well, ghat's that got to do witfc love? 'ISf: ' » iKii.uiiiif »>«n »ii>An ro Htore CP u&rvoua anergy and pat flesh on the- bones, save the Philadelphia Press. In an article published some years ago and generally ascribed to Oliver Wendeu Holmes, it was recommended tbat nervous women be put to bed and compelled to stay there while they were fattened with nutritious foods, just as a bhieken is fattened for market With tbe ac­ quirement of fat and the filling up of the reservoirs of nervous strength the flggety, emotional, whimsical woman will get up from har bed an­ other being. Thomas A. Edison, the electrican, proved by his own case how flesh can be acquired by sleep. One week he slept fourteen hours a day and the next week twenty-two hours. The result was a gain of seven pounds in weight A woman of only moderate physical strength was asked how she managed to at­ tend to the large business from which she gained support and the answer was that she obtained it by sleeping ten hours six days and spending the whole of the seventh day in bed. There has been a visible advance in health of tbe American people dur­ ing the past twenty or thirty years. Their stock of vitality has increased and they live longer. And while there are other reasons for this change, the chief one Is that people sleep longer and rest more. The hours for work have gradually grown fewer. Factory operatives are no longer compelled to hurry to their work at § o'clock In the morning and work until 7 o'clock in the evening. Business and professional men go to their counting-rooms and offices ag hour or more later and leave as much earlier in the afternoon. The result is more time for sleep and better health. But there is still more room for improvement in this way. Waltei Besant, the English novelist, said a few weeks ago at Harvard University, when commenting on tbe graduating class: "A fine, noble-looking lot ol young men. They are unlike out English university students physio* ally. I think our young men, as a rule, are bigger, heavier, stouter men, while yours have more nervous activity than ours. They are slighter and, perhaps taller, but tbey seem ta be more highly strung nervously" That is the trouble with a majority of graduates. Notwithstanding the growth of tbe athletic spirit in col­ leges, too many young men go out into life too "highly strung nerv­ ously." There Is no better medicine than good sleep and plenty of it, and many a boy and man is crippled in energy by an unwise habit of getting up too early in the morning. The American people would be happier, there would be less crime committed if people slept longer. It is time the so-called sluggard bad his rights aftd the man who prefers his morning snooze to a morning cocktaU mated at his proper vdlue. ; ; CI I • ' • >.«. \ Queer Newspapers. At Prince Albert, a remote but busy village in the Canadian North* west a weekly newspaper is, or re­ cently was. regularly published in the handwriting of Its proprietor, editor, reporter, advertising agent, and printer, the five being one man. The paper appeared ;in purple ink from a gelatine copying press or hek- tograph and its editorials, add local news were usually so clearly presented that the little journal was inlluential in the territories, was read with avidity in the newspaper offices uf east, erif Canada and constantly quoted as an authority. The most northerly of newspapers is said to be tbe Nord Kap, published weekly in Hammerfest, Norway, bv Peter Johannessen, who lives and worKs in a little turf-roofed house. The Nord Kap is, however, regu­ larly printed from news received by a ship which touches at Hammer^ fest but once in eight days. Sometimes the latest news arrives on tbe day of publication for the former batch, and then "the latest" does not get into the Nord Kap till it has been known 14 days or more to the great world to the southward. Ikt the most curious paper of all is that described by Mr. G. A. Sala, as formerly published in tbe Deccan. This paper was lithographed every morning on a square of ^rhite cotton cloth. After having perused it* the sub? scribers employed it as a pocket handkerchief. Then they sent it to the local washerwoman, who returned it, a clean square of white cotton, to the publisher, who lithographed and issued the same sheets again and again. His Carriage Driven by Naphtha C L. Simonds of Lynn has made a steam carriage for his own use that will make ten miles an hour. The carriage weiirhs only 400 pounds and can carry two persrns at a time. It has the appearance of an ordinary carriage in front, except there are no provisions made for a horse. The wheels are of cycle make and are four in number. The hind wheels are forty-three inches, and tbe front wheels are thirty-six inches, with rubber tires. The boiler and engine I are lust in the rear of the seat and fire engine. The steam trenerates in what is called a porcupirib boiler, which weighs 100 pounds. Tbe steam is made by naphtha flames from three jets. The naphtha is kept in a cylinder, enough to last for seven hours, and there is a water tank that | will bold ten gallons. The steering part consists of a crank wheel on the S| footboard, so that the engineer can steer and attend to the engine at the 1 1 same time.--Springfield Republican. German Deserters. Six German soldiers, including A Sefgeant and a Corporal, all in full ^ uniform, alighted at Dijon from the - train from Bel fort some two weeks - :'j ago and asked to be takeu to the military commandant To him they \ explained tbat they bad deserted from the German army in order to escape the cruel treatment to which they were subjected by their officers. They asked to be enlisted in. the French army, signed papers for ad- mission to the Foreign Legion, and were sent to Marseilles, en route for Africa. • £ Pats as he goes--a paymaster f» a ^ *.Y;: f "? m • f (tUMi .f .LM I-*,.-: m: