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The IcHenry Plaindealer. W PROTECTIVE ARMOR! »v • JlcHFWRY, ILLINOIS. Parity of thought evolves purity SiiS, a pure-food law might saved Socrates. Russia, fortunately, has a p« climate for nipping conspiracies. Even the challenges by Sir Thomas Lipton have not yet become auto­ matic. All true patriots should give Ad­ miral Evans absent treatment for his rheumatism. If tough luck is the inspiration for Mark Twain, misfortune has points of merit worth high praise. Pardon the apparent irrelevancy of the query, but is not a mosquito also a purveyor of living music? i The bargain counter crushes make the trade depression look like a night­ mare that met its death in infancy. Spain is to have a new $80,000,000 mavy, to be built in England. Under the circumstances, we could hardly •expect part of the order. ®v The New York wigmakers appear to have won their strike without making •any threats that they would Jerk the /•entire population bald-headed. POWDER BLAST KILLS 28. CHIEF HITS PRESIDENT A8K8 AGE CUT SENATOR LATIMER IS DE^ CHiica^O Directoi* SOUTH CAROLINA STATESMAN IS VICTIM OF PERITONITIS. GENERAL STOESSEL TO DIE "HERO OF PORT ARTHUR* DEATH SENTENCE. GIVEN A French army transport has run ashore. The army naturally doesn't -intend to let the navy get the better of It in the matter of disarmament. Military Court Pronounces Notice of Fate--Inferior Officers Allowed to Escape. That woman defendant who threw ancient eggs at the judge probably iwas surprised when even that act was laot accepted as proof of her innocence. If it is not thought wise to create a tiew cabinet officer why not make the proposed national health bureau a de­ partment under the secretary of the Interior? |£f' y- Bibulous Georgians win now have fu 1 to devise new methods of getting it jwhen they want it Bibulous neces- ^, teity knows no law, and is the mother ^ Of invention. When it comes to preparing to be­ gin to make ready to send a chal­ lenge, Sir Thomas Lipton has our most distinguished prize fighters hanging on the ropes. v-3: It " Probably it required millions of years to produce the potato bug, use­ less, and worse than useless, as it seems to be. Science is wonderful, but discouraging. An automobile seems to be easy prey for a sneak thief. The more like a tramp the driver looks the more are Observers inclined to think he is the millionaire owner. 'W:- 1 And still another iconoclast charges 4 - that Washington did not write his justly famous farewell address. It now * remains to demonstrate that George -* Vas a myth anyhow. f ~ .... ;; amr* i wain is said to have had !v. $51,199 In one of the New York banks ^ which shut up during the panic. If so, this will furnish an interesting chap­ iter in his aubiography. The pure-food experts of Pennsyl­ vania have tested 83 breakfast foods. All the heroes, ready and willing to die for their country, are not confined to the army and navy. ' King Oscar of Sweden left an es­ tate of only six and a quarter mil­ lions. Some of his fornier subjects Bow in the United States must have beaten him 40 lengths. <* Nevertheless, it must be admitted that three or four of the American Heiresses who bought titled husbands are still living with them. But they viare supposed to be exceptionally hardy. As an Alabama senator explains it, tfce aoatk is going "-dry" in order to •keep liquor trosa tJie colored man. Then will there or will there not be a color line when it comes to enforce- A butler with $17,00® worth of dia­ mond® in his possession has been ar­ rested tn the east. If he can prove that at some termer time he was a waiter somewhere, it's a cinch »'U wet off. gj. A New York Juror threw a fit the £[, «ther day during a court trial. New f ? Tork lawyers *re the limit, but this is J the first time a juror has had the ' / courage to express his tupinion of them 4k- Is aa adequate manner. The Prince de Sagan say* he would fcawe challenged Count Bond de Cas- tellams to fight a duel if the count had •truck hiss with his glove in the face. Aa Boni merely knocked him down and kicked him into the gutter, the prince considers the count to be un­ worthy of nattee. We cannot help regarding the prince as the world's nnconscious humorist. Burglars are prowling anownf pro­ miscuously at all tooars of the night, seemingly not the least bit afraid that they will meet up with leap-year pro- i posals when they are looking only for jewelry. There are various ways of making a living in this diversified World, but some occupations appear to be extra hazardous, T|*&~»edate and 'bacbelorly burglar would feel cheap If instead of being hauletf to the police Station he were ignominlbireiy dragged At break of day to the marriage license Window and made to pass the civil service examination there provided. A chair pusher in Atlantic City found |400 and got a reward of 12 a cents for returning it Jo its owner. Next time he should find $1,000, MM | that might bring him as much as 25 cents and make the adventure worth wfcile. Editor Harden of Berlin said he was responsible for what he wrote, but not for itfca interpretation other peopie placed upon his writings. A good ed­ itor geaer#iily, takes care that what be writes cai have only eras later- jjretatioa. St. Petersburg.--Lieut. Gen. Stoes- sel, once known as "the Hero of Port Arthur," was condemned to death Thursday evening by a military court for the surrender of that fort to the Japanese. Gen. Fockr who commanded the Fourth East Siberian division of Port Arthur, was ordered reprimanded for a disciplinary offense, which was not* connected with the surrender, and Gen. Smirnoff, acting commander of the fortress, and Maj. Gen. Reiss, chief of staff to Gen. Stoessel, were Gen. Stoessel. acquitted of the charges against them for lack of proof. The court recom­ mended that the death sentence upon Lieut. Gen. Stoessel be commuted to ten years imprisonment in a fortress and that he be excluded from the serv­ ice. Gen. Vodar, president of the court, read the sentences amid a tense silence. By a great effort of self-con­ trol, Gen. Stoessel maintained a rigid soldier-like impassivity. Gen. Smir­ noff also was seemingly unmoved, but there were tears in the eyes of Gen. Reiss. The sentence of death was pro­ nounced upon Gen. Stoessel, "for sur­ rendering the fortress before all the means of defense had been exhausted; for failing to enforce his authority, and for military misdemeanors." Explosion at Berkeley, Cal^ Fatal to Chinese and Whites. . Berkeley, Cal. -- With a force that shook the entire bay region like ah earthquake the packing house of the Hercules Powder works at Pin­ ole, 14 miles north of here, blew up late Thursday afternoon and in the explosion four white men and 24 Chinamen were Wiled. Ten tons of dynamite went up in the terrific blast, shattering the sheda to dust and splinters. W. W. Stillwell, foreman of . the packing house, was blown to atoms at his post of duty. Manuel Enos, Joseph Grace and A. Rodriguez were tho other white men kflled. The 28 dead Included every man who was at work in the packing house. Flames burst forth In the ruins following the explo­ sion, and threatened the gelatine house, where two score girls were at work. A panic ensued, and many were cut by flying glass and crushed and trampled in the mad rush for the doors. The loss to • the company due to the accident is placed at about $100,000. No definite cause for the accident can be given. MOR8E PROBE IS BEGUN. HARRIMAN WINS CONTR^f^ Chicago Judge Dissolves Writ Forbid­ ding Use of Proxies. Chicago. -- B. H. Harriman won complete control of the Illinois Central railroad Thursday, when Judge Farlin Q. Ball dissolved the in­ junction restraining the voting of 28G,- 231 Harriman proxies. Stuyvesant Fish was knocked out and the Harri­ man victory waB absolute. Judge Ball not only dissolved the Fish injunc­ tion but settled the more Important point that foreign corporations may hold and vote stocks in Illinois cor­ porations. Had the decision been otherwise the voting power of $400,- 000,000 worth of Illinois stocks would have invalidated. Accept American Terms. Tokyo.--The memorandum of the Japanese government in reply to that of the United States on the subject of emigration was handed to Ambassador O'Brien Wednesday. It is understood that it agrees in the general terms with a number of suggestions made by the American government, and . re­ quires a further restriction of emigra­ tion. Attorney General Investigates Affairs of American Ice Concern. • | Hew York.--The Investigation fasti-' tuted by Attorney General Jackson into the affairs of the American Ice company, promoted and formerly con­ trolled by Charles W. Morse, was for­ mally begun Wednesday when Special Deputy Attorney General James W. Osborne, appointed to conduct the in­ quiry, appeared before the grand jury and hRMn the submission oi cvlucncc which is expected to throw a light on the financial methods employed in the organisation of the so-called ice trust and its conduct and alleged control of the Ice trade. The present investiga­ tion resulted from representations made by Attorney General Jackson to Gov. Hughes, who directed the attor­ ney general to take the matter out of the hands of District Attorney Jerome. QUAKER "JOBLESS" RIOT. Philadelphia Unemployed Cause Fracas Twenty Being Injured. Philadelphia.--The marching of nearly 1,000 foreigners upon the city hall, where they said they intended to make demands upon Mayor Reyburn for work, precipitated a riot in Broad street late Thursday, in which 20 per­ sons were injured before the police dispersed the marchers and arrested 14 of them. The men, most of whom were Italians and Poles, marched from the foreign settlement in the lower section of the city. The leaders and a score of others carried red flags having a black border. Several wagons attempted to pass through the line. The drivers wefe dragged from their seats by the marchers and beaten. Evans Is III at Callao. Callao.--The American battleships, under Rear Admiral Evans, came to anchor in this port Thursday. The only regrettable feature of the enter­ tainments is the fact that the com­ mander himself, Rear Admiral Evans, will not be able to attend because of illness. Lumberman Drops Desd?°&^ Toledo, O.--Romeo Burns, lunger- man and veteran of the civil Var, dropped dead at his home in ^yl- vanla near here. Stolen Securities Founds - Minneapolis, Minn. -- It became known here Tuesday that through the arrest in Cincinnati of W. B. Breitner of Minneapolis, on a charge of stealing a fur boa, the Cincinnati police located bonds and securities valued at $40,000 which were stolen from the offices of Daniel C. Hopkins, a Minneapolis real estate broker, February 8. The ar­ rest of Breitner was made in Cincin­ nati last week on request of the Min­ neapolis police. When his trunk was searched the tin box containing the Mpera was (on|t. Big Auto Factory Bunts. Dayton, O. -- Fire of unknown origin destroyed the mammoth plant of the Stoddard-Dayton Automo­ bile factory Friday morning and swept through the old section of the plant, causing a loss of $300,000. Despite the efforts of the depart­ ment the blaze continued to spread and it was soon seen that but . little of the plant could escape loss. Tho new section was a furnace of flame 1 which lighted the sky for miles around. It was certain the plant would be a total loss. The Stoddard-Dayton factory waa the second largest automobile works In the country. Cel. Guindon Slays Self. New York.--Without leaving any­ thing to indicate why the act was committed, Col. Eugene W. Guindon, president of Fuller's Express company, Thursday fired a bullet, into his brain while seated at his desk and died shortly afterward. v Metcalf Seeks News 8ouree. Washington.--An effort is being made by Secretary Metcalf to ascer­ tain the source of the information al­ leged to have been furnished ,tO writers who have criticised the navy. Demurrer Is Sustained. Washington.--Justice Gould of the supreme court of the District of Colum­ bia sustained the demurrer of Gen. Crozier, chief of ordnance of the United States army, and dismissed the suit brought against him by the Fried Krupp Company of Essen, Germany.: Pioneer Clubbed to Death. .Newell, la.'--Samuel Canra, 'a p(o>< new resident of Newell and an old soldier, is dead as the result of an at­ tack made upon him by unknown per- «ms who entered his home at "Hr**. SCENTS INDUSTRIAL WAR ' Executive Commission Re­ garding Proposed Pay Reductions- Investigation Requested in O^l; der to Avert Strife. •• Washington.--Serious industrial dis­ putes in prospect were in the mind of President Roosevelt when he .wrote a letter to the interstate commerce com­ mission which has been made public. He says that information has reached him that on account of the enactment of drastic laws by the congress and by the various state legislatures it is re­ garded as necessary by railroad com­ panies to reduce the pay of employes. He points out that, under the law, either party may demand the services of the chairman of the interstate com­ merce commission and of the commis­ sioner of labor as a board of concilia­ tion. He suggests, therefore, that the interstate commerce commission make such an investigation as will enable it to furnish data concerning wage condi­ tions on various railroads as may re­ late, directly or Indirectly, to the pos­ sible impending controversy. Notice Served, Says Chief. The text of the president* letter follows: "The White House, Washington, Feb. 18, 1908.--To the Interstate Com­ merce Commission: I am informed that a number fit railroad companies have served notice of a proposed reduc­ tion of wages on their employes. One of them, the Louisville & Nashville, In announcing the reduction, states that 'the drastic laws inimical to the interest^ of the railroads that have in the past year or two been enacted by congress and the state legislatures' ate largely or chiefly responsible for the conditions requiring the reduc­ tion. Under such circumstances it Is possible that the public may soon be confronted by serious industrial dis­ putes, and tho law provides that in such case either party may demand the services of your chairman and of the commissioner of labor as a board of mediation and concilatlon. These reductions in wages may be warrant­ ed, or they may not. . Public Is Vitally Interested. "As to this, the public, which is a Vitally interested party, can form no judgment without a more complete knowledge of the essential facts and real merits of the case than it now has or than it can possibly obtain from the special pleadings certain to be put forth by each side in case their dispute should bring about serious in­ terruption to traffic. ' If the reduction in wages is due to natural causes, the loss of business being such that, the burden should be, and is, equitably distributed between capitalist and wage worker, the public should know It. If it is caused by legislation, the public and congress should know it, and if it is caused by misconduct in the past financial or other operations of any railroad, then everybody should know it, especially if the excuse of unfriendly legislation is advanced as a method of covering up past business misconduct by the railroad managers, or as a justification for failure to treat fairly the employe." dicitls and Nev r Fully ered from Effects. "riashiwacou. -- Senator Aabury & Latimer of South Carolina died at Providence hospital at 9:15 a. m. Thursday of peritonitis. He had been at the hospital since Sunday last, when he underwent an. operation for appendicitis. It was then discovered that he was suffering with a far more serious ailment. The bowels had be­ come twisted and his condition was found to be such that surgeons held out little hope for his recovery. He rallied, however, and his progress was satisfactory until seven o'clock Wedne day evening, when stetulily he began to grow worse. At midnight it appeared tjiat recovery was impossible. The members of the senator's family were with him when he died, having been Informed that there was little hope that he would survive the night. CoL Ransdell, sergeant-at-arms of the senate, at once made arrangements for the removal of the body to the Latimer home at fielton, S. C. As a mark of respect for the mem­ ory of Senator Latimer the senate ad­ journed Thursday. Mr. Latimer was 57 years of age. He was especially Interested in good roads and probably did more to pro­ mote the national movement for gov­ ernment building of good roads than any other member of congress. He was the author of the "Latimer good- roads bill." •THE GREAT CENTRAL MA PRESIDENT RECEIVES BARON.' Ambassador Takahira Given Formal Reception at Capitol. Washington.--The formal reception of Baron Takahira, as ambassador of Japan to the United States, took; place at the White House Thursday after­ noon. The speeches exchanged be­ tween the president and the new ana- KIDNAPER8 FOUND GUILTY. Man and Woman Who Stole Chicago Girl Given Long Term. Chicago. -- Thirty years in the penitentiary for William Jones and 25 years in the penitentiary for his wife, Irene Alzlna Jones--such was the punishment fixed for the kidnapers of Lillian Wulff- in Judge Kersten's court Wednesday night by the jury in rendering a verdict of guilty. Imprisonment in the penitentiary for 25 years was the punishment meted out by the Jurymen to Mrs. Alzina Birmingham, while the woman's hus­ band, William Jones, alias Birming­ ham, was sentenced to 30 years at hard labor in the same institution. In­ cidents of tense dramatic interest marked the return of the verdict. The reading of the decision of the jurymen by Court Clerk Schmidt pre­ cipitated a scene seldom witnessed in the criminal court of the county. The woman kidnaper, with her back to the wall within a few feet of the jury box, heard the words that doomed her to imprisonment for 4he next quarter of a century. The sentencing of her com- panfbn affected her but little.' "We, the Jury, find the defendant, Alzina Jones, alias Birmingham, guilty and fix her punishment at 25 years im prlsonment in the penitentiary." 7 Income anorded by the five-year securities of the % UNITES QAS & ELECTRIC CO. of New Albany and Jeffersonville, Ind-ana. Serving 50,000 people. Net earnings three times interest charges. Denominations $108, $500 aid $1,000 Single bonds sold. Interest paid every six months at Chicago Banks. TROWBRIDGE & NiVER CO. MUNICIPAL BONDS flnt fatloml Bank Bldf, CHICAGO. Fill out and return thit routon to-day. TROWBRIDGE <& NIVER CO. Firct National Batik Bide., K IteueMiMt titaatntmt dwcripttoa mt SmaUma»i U«« yielding: T per «rak ; citr-..- Colonial Trust & Savings Bank > onrAfto CHICAGO Offers unusual facilities to out of x town customers. Make our Bank your home while in the city. CAPITAL AND SURPLUS $1,100,000 Corner Adams and La Salle Streets. RELIABLE DAYTON •• RALPH AUTOMOBILE CO* 1220 Michigan Avenue. Chjca«*> Important to You Why not stop at the Hyde P*rk Hotel when in Chicago? Jt overlooks the lake. 10 min utes south of center on J.C.H.R. Fireproof, marble office-high ceiled dining room. Best of table and service, and all for $2.50, a few rooms for per rtayi American plsn, fi European. This ad. for your benefit, Try us. Telephone. Hyde Park 530. For famous and delicious candles and chocolates, write to the maker for cat­ alog, wholesale or retail. Gunther'* Confection*! 212 SUM Stre*«, ChicagOi •IT ,UL FREE--42 PIEGE Winner i nntr dijtributios free 4^-rieoe Monogram vHaittr Scte, £->n siie ptac*«, roseacr! jm* nuns gold trace*) ft*4 iciUal of €.vrn«r ou Qfevf except cupa*adsancer*. ^ustacw ^ your name and I w£li t«H how jo'J cty.n c«t thin D>a?ntfl«<flgj| Writ? today wbU« they laflb * a. Hw, 1*0 Clin urn Street. X>«Dt. 7009. Chicago. DEFiMiCE STARCH--! --other starch^ "OKFIANCK1 _16 ounce# to "the package only 12 ounces--tame price »q4 IS SUPERIOR QUALITY. CUT OUT FOR A FINANCIER. Baron Takahira. bassador, while' on their face purely formal, were characterized in each case by an undercurrent of strong de­ sire for the preservation of peace. The ambassador, for instance, said': "The maintenance of lasting peace with all nations and the conservation of the rights and interests of all people are the cardinal objects of my august sovereign/' I Bhrewd Rascal Made Good Thing Out of Whittling Geese. T?wo rogues passed a poultry shop. Seeing two geese hung up for sale one of the rogues Inserted in the gullet of the goose a little bulb with whistle attached. When the bulb was pressed the whistle sounded. Then, entering the store, he told the proprietor that he had hanging out­ side a very rare kind of whistling goose. The proprietor at once sold the goose for a big sum to a very learned professor, who was astonished to hear' about the whistling goose. Seeking the man who had placed the whistle in the gullet of the bird, the proprietor asked him if he knew where others like it could be ob­ tained. ' "Well," said the crafty fellow, "I know of only one place, and If you will pay me" a big price I ^111 get several for you." 5 So the rogue brought a dozen fowls, In the gullet of each of which he thrust a whistle, and was paid an ex­ orbitant price for them before the hoax was discovered. TERRIBLE. 'HOW DO THEY GET INT Physiological Problem That Could Not Solve. Nota . A, Philadelphia physician tells of aa amusing conversation between two Irish girls in domestic service wh<J» while on the board walk at Atlantip City one day not long ago, were ex­ changing views as to their various physical ailments. "It's a sthrange thing, ain't It, Norah," asked one of the girls, "how manny new koinds of diseases peopla get these days. Only this mor-rnin' I were readin* an advertisement of a new midlcine. It Baid it were wonder- rful for a sluggish liver." "9wan!" exclaimed the other girl, scornfully. "Liver trouble an't no new dlsase. Me own grandfather was havin' liver trouble whin I were not more'n tin years old." "Maybe," was the laconic response. "But," added Norah, "what I want to know is: how do thim slugs get inside the liver, anyhow?"--Illustrated Sua* day Magazine. Minister--I'm afraid you do anything for money. " Meandering Mike--Yus; lows will even work for it men trill some fel- ROUND UP RU3S TERRORISTS. Will, Law Stand Test? - Washington. -- Attorney General Bonaparte has taken steps to find out whether the provision of the rate law which prohibits railroads hauling over their own roads products in which they are financially interested •111 stand the test of the courts. Steamer Breaks In Two. New York.--The steamer Roda, which went ashore op Jones Beach, Long Island, several days ago, has broken in two according to reports re­ ceived from the wreckers at work on her Thursday. The Roda has a cargo of iron ore. Queen's Auto Hurts Child. Rome.--An automobile in which Dowager Queen Margherita was driv­ ing Thursday, ran over a five-year-old girl, who, however, was only slightlr Injured. Moors Lest Heavily in Battle Paris.--A dispatch received here from Vlce-Admiral Philibert,' the French naval commander In Morocco, says that the French had a serious en­ gagement with tho Moors at a point shout 15 miles southeast of Fedala. Banker Held to Grand Jury. Carson, Nev --In the Justice court Wednesday Judge Folsoro ordered T. B. Rlcjkey, president of the State Bank and Trust company, held to the grand Jury on a charge of embezzlement Boad was flrol at r V * Fifty Arrested in Capital--Policemen Are Killed In Fight. St. Petersburg. -- Attempts that had been planned against the lives of exalted personages were frus­ trated by the police Thursday night by a succession of arrests in various parts of the city, aggregating 60 men and women. This is the greatest num­ ber of terrorists ever taken by the police in the capitol. The majority of them were heavily armed, some with boqgbs, and they made desperate resistance against the police. During the course of the arrests three police­ men were wounded and one was killed. One woman who was arrest­ ed at the entrance to Prince Ussupoff park, killed a policeman during the struggle. Two men were arrested In the Grande Morsimaia, one of whom is a notorious Italian anarchist. While the police were arresting a terrorist on Basile island he dangerously wounded two of them. Clerk a Suicide. Indianapolis, Ind.--William F. Bar­ rows, aged 63 years, a clerk in the of­ fice of the city building inspector, was found dead in an attic of the home of M. Richert with a bullet hole through his head. He had committed suicide. Madison, III., Bank Closes. Madison, 111.--The Tri-City State bank closed Thursday and the home of a trusted employe of the institu­ tion was under police guard Thursday night. Officers with a warrant waited to serve it. A Nature Student. The faculty with which the New York child grasps the "new idea" in matters educational is charmingly il­ lustrated in a composition recently penned , by a six-year-old. Her teach­ er had asked for brief compositions on "Animals I Have Seen." This is the result, written in the present day vertical penmanship: "Do you see the little robin swing­ ing on the tree? Do you see the little goldfish a-swimming in the bowl? Who teached these two to fly so beau­ tifully together? Who struck the feathers on their breasts? Twas God --'Twas God. He done it." The Making of a Journalist. Henry H. Ashton, p. Virginia City capitalist, has in his library, richly bound in crushed Levant, those early volumes of the Virginia City Enter- prise to which Mark Twain contrib­ uted. The faded pages contain innumer­ able specimens of the famous writer's quaint humdr. Mr. Ashton often- points out the first paragraph that Mark Twain wrote on "his arrival in Virginia City. The paragraph runs: "A thunderstorm made Beranger a poet, a mother's kiss'made Benjamin West a painter and a salary of $15 a week makes us a journalist" Chance for Conveiflon. In the ante-bellum days, when An* son P. Morrill of Maine was making his first run for congress, a hench­ man of his opponent met an old min­ ister of that section slowly jogging along the road on his old horse and hailed him with: "Who are you going to vote for?" "Well," said the old man, "I thought I should give Anson & vote. Anson has good timber in him, I believe.'* "Oh, but I don't see how you can vote for him! Don't you know he's'a Universalist? He doesn't believe In a hell." With a quiet twinkle in his eye the "bid man sald:^ "We'll sendl him to Washington. When .he has served his two years If he doesn't be­ lieve in a hell I shall be very much, surprised." Rather Neatly Put. A Baltimore man had until recently a darky in his employ--about as shift­ less and worthless a darky, says he, as ever he came across. One day the employer, his patience exhausted, called Sam into his office and told him to lock for another job. ' Will you give me a letter of recommendation?" asked Sam, piteously. Although he felt that he could not conscientiously comply with this request, the Baltimore man's heart was touched by the appeal. So he sat down to his desk to write a non-committal letter of character for the negro. His effort resulted as fol­ lows: "This man, Sam Harkins, has worked for me one week, and I am satisfied." GREATNES8. K The Cannon Indorsed In illfntft* Springfield, 111.--"Uncle Joe" Can­ non was indorsed by unanimous vote for the Republican nomination for president at the meeting of the party state central committee her© Tuesday. The resolution of Indorsement . mis praised President Roosevelt. n Ohio Democrats indorse Bryan. Columbus, O.--William J. Bryan's visit to Columbus Tuesday was signal­ ized by the Democratic state central committee unanimously indorsing hla candidacy far the preside&ejr. Modus Vivendi. handsome but impecunious young chap who had married the rich and elderly widow began to hint that it was time to give him the control of her funds and the management of her estate. "Launcelot," she said, "I shall allow you a sufficient Income for the supply of your wants, but I expect to keep my business affairs in my own hands. This is not a consolidation. This is s limited partnership." Meat of tha Coooanut "Your honor," said the lawyer, "I ask the dismissal of my client on the ground that the warrant fails to state that he hit Bill Jones with malicious totent." "This court," replied the country justice, "ain't a graduate of none of your technical schools. I don't care what he hit Bill with. The pint is, did he hit him? Proceed." The man who has greatness thrust upon him is always sure that he could' have achieved it if that had been nec­ essary. . ( Dogs to Watch Churches. Ever since the robbery of a valuable Van Dyck at Courtral the churches of Bruges, which contain so many treas­ ures, have taken extraordinary meas­ ures to prevent similar losses. At the Church of Notre Darned Bruges, a watchman perambulates the church at night accompanied by a dog. A similar course is adopted at the Cathedral of St Saviour and other Churches. Three Alarming Symptoms. Physician--Madam, I can find no traces of disease in this boy of yours. What made you think he was ill? Mother--Well, doctor, he behaved in such an odd manner when he came home from school. He spoke kindly to his little sister, didn't kick tha eat and offered to carry coal for me. The Winning Smile. "Say, Mag," said Mame, "I don't tee how you got so stuck on him. He *ain't good-looking nor nothin'." "I know he ain't," replied the love- lorh Maggie, "hut didn't yer never no­ tice w'at i lot o' gold he's got in his teeth?" ,* Make ideals Practical. «We may not realize our Ideals: Mi wfe may always idealize our realities, mark that I always have the best legal} and our ideals must be practical if talent available to ascertain what I we are to make a religion of them, sad am entitled to."--Washington Star. i*ire by ttyim.--Helen Kellar. Getting His. - "Of course, you don't want anything j you are not entitled to," said the con- scieoHous man. "Of course not," answered Senator Sorghum, "but I will incidentally re- iLaaLbt >W