Illinois News Index

McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 23 Dec 1980, p. 14

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PAGE IS • PLAINDEALER - TUESDAY. DECEMBER a. m> The 12 Days Of Christmas If your true love fink Cadillacs common, minfc mundane and diamonds dull, why not trim a festive tree with the traditional treasures of "The Twleve Days of Christmas"? For $587,878.78 (or a budget version at $372,082.78), your holiday extravaganza will be a truly memorable "gift that keeps on giving!" With assistance from the reference department of the University of Illinois at Chieago Circle (UICC) library and a wide range of lords and ladies, pipers, plumbers and livestock lovers, here are the dollars (if not much sense) of a modern "Twelve , Days of Christmas": On the first day of Christmas, Christmas day, your true love should receive a partridge in a pear tree. A six-foot potted pear is a reasonable $15.99 while the crested wood par­ tridge in it costs $100, according to Kevin Bell, bird curator at Chicago's Lincoln Park zoo. For day one, pay $115.99 - but the fowl-foliage combination mwt be repeated each of the twelve days for a total ,of $1,391.88. Ob the second day of Gvistmai; your true love ought to see two turtle doves. Two ring-necked turtle doves sell for about $50 and a pair per day for the remaining 11 days comes to $550. Day number three calls for three French hens which are available from a number of game bird breeders for a "poultry" $5 each. Three every day for 10 days totals $150, the least expensive of all the required gifts. Four calling birds are probably canaries. The more tuneful males, possessed of good voice and the desirable "yellow factor," chirp to the tune of $49.50 each, $1,782 total. At the fifth day of Christmas, "serious" spenders are separated from the merely affluent. Five thin golden rings at $93 each for eight days would cost $3,720 at Tif­ fany's. In the spirit of the season, however, the establishment's Chicago manager offered a 15 percent quantity discount for a somewhat more reasonable $3,182. A wider ring at $375 will command a handsome $12,750 for the lot, again including the discount. At the halfway point in our 12 days, we require six geese for seven days. We might assume that 21 pairs of North American snow geese at $100 per pair would be sufficient. Since geese mate for life, however, and the song specifies "geese a- laying," we must buy 42 pairs for a total of $4,200. High, but not exorbitant for a tactful hint that such fidelity is rare, indeed. For a genuine romantic not satisfied with domestic birds, rare Siberian red-breasted geese at over $2,000 per pair would be a bargain at twice the price - total $84,000. On the seventh day of Christmas, New Year's eve, seven swans a- swimming should make their appearance. Mute swans, who never use their voices in captivity, cost $500 a pair and 21 pairs are necessary at $10,500. If mute swans seem inappropriate for uproarious New year's Eve festivities, opt for the more spectacular trumpeter swans at $52,500 for 21 pairs. For the eighth day's eight maids a-milking, a first thought might be to try Maid to Order, a Chicago-based firm of­ fering household maid service at $8 per hour. Unfortunately, says owner Coralee Kern, "even if you're a big tipper, they won't do windows or cows!" Animal Caretakers, Class II, at the University of Illinois at Urbana- Champaign, however, are qualified to handle farm animals and charge only $6.76 per hour. Since the maids are "a- milking," cows are a necessary part of the gift and Holsteins with a score of 80 (a rating combining heredity and produc­ tivity) delivering 15,000 pounds of milk annually cost $3,000 each. Forty cows (eight per day for five days) and two shifts per day of attendant milk­ maids total $132,979.20. Our next two days, requiring nine ladies dancing and ten lords a- leaping, present the greatest challenge for the imaginative giver. From Actors Equity association, a dancing lady ("chorus dancer, performing indoors with a non-resident company, dancing six days per week, six hours per day, minimum one week contract") earns $245 per week. The 96 dancers (nine each day for four days) and vans to tran­ sport them will cost For something a bit more elegant, hire ballerinas from "The Nutcracker" at Chicago's Arie Crown theatre. Producer Archie Lang says principals earn "from $500 to $2,000 per performance, with an average of $1,000 per show." Since they are paid for each show, rather than weekly, the 36 principal dancers get a tuneful $90,000 for the 90 individual performances in four days. Accompaniment for the dancers, according to Richard Norton of the Music department at the University of Illinois at _ Circle (UICC), be a Renaissance "chssP of five viols. "The only Renaissance specialists in the United States today play on the East coast and for quite a bit more than union scale. The Boston Camerata, at about $5,000 per per­ formance, would fill the bi l l n ice ly ," and four performances, air fares and lodging add $23,000. For the ten lords a- leaping, look to merrie olde England. Assuming the cooperation of 30 perambulating peers, first class ac­ commodations on British Airways will come to $82,260. Pr incely lakefront suites at the Drake hotel (choice of Queen Elizabeth, Prince Philip and Princess Margaret on their Chicago visits) will add $31,500 to the bill. Although one wouldn't insult a lord with a salary offer, a modest $1,000 each for expenses and entertainment should encourage spr ight ly leaping, adding up to a grand total of $143,760 for the noble terpsichoreans. The type of pipers required on the eleventh day is not specified in the song. "Pipers11 from the Pipe Fitters union. Local 587, earn $15.78 per hour: 11 for two days and U more for one day will drain your pocket of $4,158. Bagpipers, however, may be a more enter­ taining choice, and Tom Ryan, the 78-hear-old founder of Chicago's famous Shannon Rovers {ripe band, would supply an ll-member troupe for $500 per day. Pipers for both days, playing "Christmas in KUlarney" and "Faith of Our Fathers," plus transport for the bandsmen and their instruments, adds $2,022. For the last gift of the 12 days, the Shannon Rovers also can provide 12 drummers, in appropriate kilt and sporran, drum­ ming up a storm for a modest $300. Incidentals, inch 50 pounds of mixed for the partridges, doves and canaries at $7.45, three 50-pound bags of cracked corn for the hens, geese and swans at $14.25, and 24 bags of mixed grain for the cows, total $135.70. Finally, since 288 birds, 12 trees, 40 cows and 150- plus maids, lords, ladies, pipers , p lumbers and drummers won't fit under even the largest Christ­ mas tree, an appropriate locale for "The iSvelve Days of Christmas" might be Chicago's "pleasure island," Navy Pier. The newly refur­ bished audi tor ium comfortably seats 1,500 and an adjoining 18,000 square foot shelter would be just the place for the animals, according to Lolain Dobbs, the Pier's manager. Total for both for twelve days - $38,400. So there it is: "The Twelve Days of Christ­ mas" to overwhelm even the most blase true love. P.S. On the thirteenth day of Christmas, con­ templation of ongoing bills for seed, grain, corn, barns, ponds, fences and bird cages, not to mention zoning and l iabi l i ty lawyers , human and animal doctors and a small army of sanitation workers , wi l l c lear ly demonstrate that it is, truly, "more blessed to give than to receive!" Urge Intervention For Dixon High Band MRMKWI KMMK MWtM) 16th district U.S. Representative-elect Lynn Martin has released a letter she has written President­ elect Ronald Regan, urging him to intervene on behalf of the Dixon High School band and allow them to perform in his Inauguration parade. In releasing the letter, Congresswoman - elect Martin said that it is regrettable the inauguration committee has apparently au tuy uecieu the Dixon band is out. She said it is not too late to change that decision and she hopes that President-elect Regan will intercede. Congresswoman - elect Martin sent copies of the letter to Illinois State Representative Don Totten and State Republican Party chairman Don Adams, who are both serving on th Reagan transition team. In addition, copies of the letter went to officials at the inaugural Faraue com­ mittee. Veterans' Benefits For Older Americans Illinois veterans can secure a new publication, "Veterans Benefits for Older Americans," from the Chicago regional office or through their service organization. Donald R. Ramsey, director of the Veterans administration regional office in Chicago, said the pamphlet is free. It highlights eligibility for VA medical care, compensation and pension programs and burial benefits. The pamphlet includes a quick reference inventory for listing a veteran's VA file number and other in­ formation for use in case of an emergency. .Ramsey said the pamphlet seeks to meet the needs of the over 3 million veterans who are 65 years of age or older. By 1985 this number is expected to be 6 million, and by 1990 there will be over 7 million veterans in this age bracket. The VA is also developing video tape cassettes to ex­ plain VA benefits to elderly beneficiaries. Early next year the tapes will be made available to senior citizens groups and veterans organizations. To receive the pamphlet write the VA Regional office, P.O. Box 8136, Chicago 60680. In Illinois veterans may call the VA office toll-free. The number is in each town's white pages under "U.S. Government." DECEMBER 29-31, 1980 Stop by for your best deal on chemicals during our Cash & Carry Specials. Ask our Crop Production Specialist for recommendations. (Low prices available for May 10 payment, also.) *Proflrom will b« repeated Jonuory 7-9, 1981. One of thes* periods will fit your tax needs. McHENRY FS Marengo McHenry Huntley Woodstock Elkhom Chemung Zenda AP FRIDAY. SATURDAY d tMch Of thma atfvarttMO Hams I* raqufead to b* rMdtly ...UsM* Ml* M of batov th« d prlc* in Mch A IP star*, •ictpi • lor \ SUNDAY SPECIALS!, , /" „ : » \ • Cash chtckt with ASP'S Chak-XPraa Card. PRICES EFFECTIVE thru Son., Oac. 28,1M0. Iltmi not tor sola to daalara ft raaanra tho right to limit quantltlas. FULLY COOKED M • f a I. i i • la i s b a I a i \ • • l i r - i i u v H f i i i a i v u a WATER ADDED FULLY COOKED FULL SHANK IHALF^M SUNNY KAY POINT CUT • Chare* Qrocarlas with Via* Card. F Sm sarvtco daak for Information on tnatant Chok-X-Proa Card. MAPI f HIVI R K IN( i ( ) I I HI MO AS I CANNED BEEF HAM RIB 5 LB. SIZE ROAST SQ99 s079 I 'b- Plus You Get I . Green Stamps I Pli»s You Get //Green Stamps Plus You Get [Fl /Green Stamps 15 ASST. PIECES BRISKET FANCY LOBSTER TAILS J 10-12 oz. slzo Rutfles $139 BOX O 1 CHICKE AAP SEVERAL VARIETIES S8 SLICED LUNCH MEATS-79* T \ rrwlwma a IwWfi J BONELESS TOP ROUND OR SIRLOIN TIP ROAST . S OZ. STANDARDS lb. ASP Cream cfiv Cheese. .r.U5l IN CREAM OR WINE SAUCE a OZ £.4 QQ Vita Henring 1 SMALL LARGE COLOSSAL PITTED 5'. OZ ***** Undsey Ripe Olives . . . .c?». D5f KOSHER SPEARS NO GARLIC POLISH OR «~Pk*te8 SONUS SPECI AL WITH ONE FILLED MH BONUS SPECIALS BOOKLET (30 BtO 10 STAMPS) AND OUW LOW MWCI ON EACH ITEM ANN PAOE REO. OR RIPPLED POTATO SI M CHIPS ..^JN DECORATED ft ASST. TISSUE SOFT 'N PRETTY ASST. DECORATED OR DESIGN BOUNTY TOWEL..,, SUGAR SWEET CALIFORNIA ORANGES 5c EA. L DELICIOUS APPLES WASHINGTON GOLD OR RED EXTRA FANCY FRESH *4QQ OYSTERS*!99 PI RK MI I PI HK OR AO< &A&P 2 LB £r> COFFEE us You Get Macaroni & Cheese . 3 *"'••• 89* *>MA| I Ml (.1)1 AH , |JTQ Orleans Shrimp V# M7* I RO/t N SAUSACJt OR CHI ft SI ToUno'sPbza '.V.' 89* AViOWfl (> IA CHOV , a . ,,, «1Aa La Choy Egg Rolls ' j v> . 89* NAHIV;o A'iM , U) 0/ Snack Crackers OSr 'O l i xw* TROPICANA ORANGE JUICE ANN PAGF ' i INCH PAPEB PLATES 10 LB. BAG ICE CUBES Green Stamps us You Get / f.Tfi /Green Stam YOU'LL DO SCTTCR WITH ASP'S LIQUOR MLUtS I -- > 0-1S OZ. BTLV. ^ TAB. FRESCA OR COKE REO. O SUGAR FREE DINGER ALE m bag Plus You Get Green Stamps KMl TV.MMAMH c Baked Ham MOMfMAOf /IOC' CANADA RMI . (omit I DRY KEEBLERS Seeck Teests • • • • • • • • B O X KEEBLERS Seeck Crackers • • o o o o o BOX NABISCO Slack Crackers BOX ANN PAGE " Protasis • • • • • • • • • • • B A G • # ASST. ANN PAGE Snacks BAG 99® P"PPwLoaf YOU'LL OO OfTrtR WITH ASP'S ZMOV'S Of LI MiHtati bwt m srsats sriTB mars atucsfissia nr-1 Pepsi Cole.. *£11/ t b * J siXiA* t mt s Hto UtvCoI*7"Up Mc ^SOy sweaiLoai A. 1 VM'LIP.HI,INWITNAS.'I > Cfk NCAITN S OCAUTY AtOS French Potato Salad . . ». o5r I 2 I TM J L f R c Ziggy's Meat Loaf French Potato Salau . -. . - . ww ,0* wrapped W< Swiss ChoitM $9 ,i *1°* TABLct|LTZER. Jl" I ( VKNNA Pastrami HU'/V " 'XjUh Af<fv © HW COATS YOU. STOMACH ' PEPTO = %v BISMOL ....̂ -..r. $1BB 3750 W. Elm Street 1

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