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‘ R. AND MES. BOWBEB. ’ ‘yr xas aowssn. I had a caller the other afternoon when Mr. Bowler came home, and after she had gone he asked : “How long was Mrs. Blank here 3" “About half an hour." “And you talked about fashions, I sup- pose 2” "Yes, mostly ; what should we talk about?” “Mrs. Bowser, did it ever occur to you that there was anything in life beyond mil- Iinery, and dress goods, and dress makers I" “How 2 ’ “Hch \Vhy not select a subject of senseâ€"â€" art, : clence, mineralog y, the labor qu action, I r self-government, and discuss it with calmness and justice, and learn something worth re- membering for half an hour. You women- folks might as well been have born witha pumpkin on your shoulders in place of a head.", I made no reply to this, but determined to catch Mr. Bowser in his own trap before the week was out. Fortune favored me. It was only two days before a neighbor called over as he was at work in the back yard, and for two lcng hours those men sat down on a lad- der and discussed the question whether a back gate should open inwards or outwards, and the advantages offered by either situation. Mr. Bowser contended for the gate opening outwards, and the neighbor for the opposite, and the discussion resulted in Mr. Bower getting rod clear back of the ears and jump. ing up to exclaim : “Well, let's drop the subject right here. There can be cranks on alley gates as well as on politics and religion}. "And there can be lunatios outside of the asylums," hotly replied the neighbor. “Don't call me a lunatic l" “And don’t you call me a crank 2" "Go home and hang your old gate to the moon 1" “I'll hang it according to the rules of com- mon sense, and don’t you forget it." When Mr. Bowser came in to wash my hands I observed : “Mr. Bowser, did it ever occur to you that there was anything in life beyond hang- ing a back gate 2" ’. He replied with a “humph l”of disgust. “Select some subject of sense, Mr. Bow- serâ€"art, science, mineralogyâ€"tho labour question or self~government and learn some- ' thing worth remembering for half an hour 1” ‘Eie locked around in a desperate, helpless way, and put on his hat and went off with. out award in reply. I wasn’t going to let him off on that, however. When he came home that evening I had Mrs. Orfeudorf over to supper, and as soon as we were seat- ed at the table I queried : “Doesn’t it strike you that Germanyis policy on the Samoan question is one of con- ciliation instead of aggression? ' " It certame does,“ she replied, “ but there may be a hidden motive behind this seeming submission. Trace the record of the man back as far as you will, and his pol- icy has been either aggression or strategy." Mr. Bowser looked from one to the other of us in astonishmeu “ I notice," said I as I passed the biscuits, “ that the Spanish colonial policy is work- ing towards a radical change. Incited by the example of other and stronger nations, it is about to extend its arms and enfold new possessions.” The stars Mr. Bowser favored me with made my flesh creep. “ I do so hope you can come dawn to the next meeting of the Woman's Scientific, Poiltical and Literary Club," said Mrs. Orfeudorf, asshe toyed with her strawberries. “ Those gatherings are very, very interest- ing. At our last meeting we discussed the ‘ Drift Period,’ and at the one next week we shall discuss ‘ The Proposed Amendments to the Constitution of the United States.’ " " Oh, I’d like to go ever so much, and I think I can promise you I will be there. Can Mr. Bowser come, too 2” “ Well, hardly. Men take such little interest in such things that they are ob tructious." “F0 av that that shallcw pated, long nosed old nuisance has finally taken her leave let’s gc to bed." He regained his assurance after a couple of days, however. I was taikiu to our ‘2- yeanold baby, and talking as al mothers talk, when Mr. Bowser flung down his paper and exclaimed: “Mrs Bowser, you make me tired talking to that oungun that way! No wonder so many children grow up to be sap headed l" “How shall I talk 1’ “Talk senseâ€"the same as you would to an adult. He’s old enough to understand, and I believe he will appreciate it.” "Very well ; I'll try." “Thank you. It's more than I expected you'd do. The trial came that night. We had scarcely got to bed when baby awoke and began to whine. He had got cold and was feverish. “Now, Harry,” I began, "snug down and try to go to sleep. It's nothing serious, and I object to being kept awake,” He howled more lustily. " My son," 1 continued, ” this exhibition of isgiatltude astonishes me and I lnsistishat you change your course of conduct at once, or leave my house. lugâ€"’l “\Vhat in thunder and blezss are you talking about 2" roared Mr. Bowser, as he sat up in bed. “ I'm talking sense to baby." “Not by a jug-full you ain't!” "Then you try it." "I'll try it by wringing his neck if he doesn't shut off steam!" He's howling out of spltel" “Then warn him that you may be com- pelled to inflict due chastisement, but do it calmly and grammatically.” “I l l l l l l" That's what hir. Bowser saidas be jump- ed on”; of bed and disappeared into the s 0 room, and that was the last I saw of hill: until morning. Osutioned. That's All. Husbandâ€"“Don‘t worry. my dear, if I at home a trifle late occasionally, now that I‘ve joined the Athletic Club. I used to be a great athlete when I was. a boy, you know, and it seems like renewing my youth to go thrth with the old sxerciies again.” is e-“ No. John, I won’t. but when you E; home at 9 A. M., as you did this morn- ing on your hsadin the front porch, nor climbing throush the transom. because it's 3pc to create remark, you knowâ€"that's all, ear.‘ Punishing an Biepl: ant. Some elephants resemble men in their Iis~ bility to sudden outbursts of passion, and in their exhibition of remorse when, the passion having subsided, they see the results of their violent temper. An illustration of an ele- phant's violence and contritiou is given by Gen. George Bell, in his “Rough Notes of an Old Soldier," written while he was serving in India. While the party was in camp, a Mahout went with his elephant to cut forage. As he was binding it in bundles, the elephant be- gan to help himself and knocked about the bundlcs already tied up. The Mahout punished the beast for his dis- obedience by a blow on the shins, which so enraged the elephant that be six zed the man with his trunk, dashed him to the ground and trampled him to death. No sooner had he killed his keeper than he repented, roared, and bolted for the jun- gle to hide himself. Six other elephants, guided by their Mahouts, 'followui him. On being driven into a corner ho surren- dered, and was led into camp a prisoner, and chains wore placed on his legs. Then came his punishment. Au elephant was placed on either side, each holding a heavy iron chain. As the dead body of the Mahcut was laid on the grass before him, the elephant roared loudly, being perfectly aware of what he had done. A Mahout ordered the two elephants to punish the murderer. Lifting the two heavy chains high in the air, with their trunks they wripped him with these iron whips until he made the camp echo with his roars of pain. He was then picketed by himself, and an iron chain attached to his hind kleg, which be dragged after him on the mare . __â€"_.â€"â€"â€"â€" 'lhet Baby of 0111 s. In these very hot days the average man has little appetite for solids; But the wea- ther does not seem to eflect the appetite of an esteemed infant whose acquaintance I value highlyâ€"in the interest of science. For instance, this babe, aged thirteen mouths, two days ago started out on a gor- muudizing tour by biting out a diamond from his sister’s ring and swallowing it. This was not discovered untilyesterday. An hour I later he was discovered in the act of devour- , ing horse radish, and when the bottle of this mordant condiment was taken from him he devoted his attention to a package of baking powder, which he broke open and then swallowed two handfuls of the contents. Naturally the babe rose with the occa- sion. For half an hour after the baking powder episode the babe was missing. His absence at last alarmed his mother, and she started to search for him. She called him loudly, but no answer came. lie was not in the arlor, diningroom, kitchen or bedrooms. here could he be? Only one place remainedâ€"- the cellar. Thither she flaw. The infant was there. He had turned on' the spigot of a ten-gallon carbon oil can and was to the best of his ability absorbing the fluid as it fell in a continuous stream. No- body seems to know how much oil the babe imbibed, but ibis-gratifying to state that it apparently did him no harm. ' . l Whence Come the Flies? From where do all the flies come? The ques- tion is‘ often asked, dud seldom receives as satisfactory an answer as has been given by a contemporary: The common fly lays more than 100 eggs, and the time from egg laying to maturity is only about'two weeks. Most of us have studied geometrical progression. Here we see it illustrated. Suppose one fly commences “to multiply an'drepenish the earth" about June 1. June 15, if all lived, would give 150 Suppose seventydive of these are females, July 1 would give us, supposing no cruel wasp or other untoward circum- stances to interfere, 11,250 flies. Suppose 5, 6‘25 of these are females, we might have July 15, 843.720 flies. For fear of bad dreams I’ will not calculate what might be by Septem- ber 15. , . Trustworthy People. We all know people who are eminently trustworthy. We all know those who are just as much the reverse. In the world of each of us exists the man or woman in whom we believe as in the sun that shines in the sky aboveâ€"who is as faithful as the needle to the pole, as solid as the granite rock. If such a one promises a thing, we regard it as already don. . Death, absence, new interests â€"â€"nothing of an that sways a more fluid mind so much as .2. mass the merevsurfaoe of this one's thought. The promise given will be kept in all circumstances and under all conditions. No personal advantage will weigh more than a grain of dust against the huge gold nugget of the plighted word. She No Doubt Understood It. "What's all this I see in the papers about the Samoan question 2“ asked Mrs. Hixby of her husband the other evening. ‘ Hisby, delighted to have his wife interest- ed in public afi'slrs, began at the beginning and carefully and elaborately detailed the entire affair to his wife, and when he was through he said : “Now, do you understand it, my dear f" Filisl respect, it noth n : “Yew-I. I think I dd. Georee: only 1’" ueen thiaking- -” “Thinking what 2" “Tth for the last ten minutes that, after all, I’ have cardinal instead of let- ius-leaf green on my new bonnet. Wouldn’t you like the cardinal better, dearest l” Almost War. Petey Qainccâ€"“ My father's richer'n your'n." Johnny Doolittleâ€"~“ No, he hain‘t. We got a mortgage on our house." “ Humph 1 My mother's got a guitar in her head." " Our baby s got the skollit fever.” " Your pop gins drunk 1" r " He kin lick your pop, eunyhow.” “But you kint lick me. I'm bigger'n you l" "Humphl Mebbe I klnt, but I kin wiggle my nose." “ Oh, well i Who said you couldn't. Let's go fishia'." “ Lot's l" Taking One too Literally- Old friendâ€"Well, Browne l what are you sending to the exhibition this your 3 Our artist (who really thinks he‘s done a , please don't renew your youth by staud- good thng at last, and longs for a little I praiseâ€" same old rot, as you see i Old friendâ€"Ah-wellâ€"anyhow It brings gristto the mill, I suppose! Moralâ€"Don't be too modest. I Carriages Run by Steam. A Munich firm has made a carriage pro- pelled by gas, which it generates from ben- r zinc or anslagous material. The motor, which is not visible from the outside, is placed in the rear of the three-wheeled carri‘ are over the main axis, and the her zine used in its propulsion is carried in a closed cop- per receptacle secured uuder the seat, from which it passes drop by drop to the gen- orator, and which holds enough bensine for a journey of about seventy-five miles. gas mixture is ignited in a closed cylinder by means of an electric spark. After regul- ating the admission of the gas, the motor can he started by simply turning a hand lever. Power is applied y the medium of a link chain bolted to a toothed wheel on the rear axle. The speed of the motor can be increased or diminished at will by turn- ing the lever backwards or foward, and it can be stopped by pulling the lever. The vehicle is steered in the same manner as a tricycle, by a small front wheel. It can attain a speed of about ten miles an hour, but in crowded streets is can be made to move as slowly as an ordinary vehicle. A quart of her zine is sufl‘nient for an hour's trip. A Strange Country. Miss Langham (reading an American paper)â€"“ What a strange country yours is, to b 6 sure, Mr. De Yank 2" Mr. De Yank (of Boston)-“ I don’t think it much stranger than yours. But why 2" “ Well, this paper gives an account. of a game of baseball ([ think they call it), and is says that ‘Chumpy saw a red-hot ball com ing for him in centre field, but be promptly froze to it.‘ ” A Silly Question. Daughter. “Mamma, Mr. Strongbcx has offered me his heart and hand." Mamma. “Do you love him, dear '2" Daughter. “Oh,yes, momma, very much. H0 is worth a million." Momma. “Of course you do, dear. silly of me to ask such a question.” â€"â€"-â€"-â€".â€"-â€" The Ladies’ Favorite. The newest fashion in ladies hats will doubtles cause a flutter of pleasurable ex- citement among the fair sex. Ladies are always susceptible to the changes of a fash- ion plate; and the more startling the do- parture, the more earnest the gossip over one new mode. Dr. Pierce’s Favorite Pro- scription is a positive cure for the III! which siliict females and make their lives miser- able. This sovereign panacea can be relied on in cases of displacements and all func- tional derangements. It builds up the poor, haggard and dragged-out victim, and ives her renewed hope and a fresh lease 0 life. It is the only medicine for woman’s peculiar weaknesses and. ailments, sold by druggists, under a positive guarantee from the menu lecturers, that it will give satisfaction in every case, or money refunded. Read print- ed guarantee on bottle wrapper. Circular cloaks are made for evening wear in old rose, Suede or turquoise camel’s hair. 1 Don’t hawk, hawk; and blow, blow, dis- ousting everybody, but use Dr. Sage's Catarrh Remedy. ‘ Hats with low crowns and broad brims, like scoops, are fashionable. ' The Cutest Little Things. “Cute"l he echoed. “Well, 1 don't know as the adj active would have occurred to me in just that connection. that they do their work thoroughly, yet How weakness ; and, in short, are everything that apill oughb to be, and nothing that in ought not, then I agree that Pierce's pleas- ant Purgative Pellets are about the cutest little things going l” Come all to The Elysium of Health and Joy at St. Leon Springs, Quebec. ' June 1stâ€"â€"':Th’e Palace opened for the re- ception‘of visitors; 300 comfortable rooms. Baths in Nature’s virgin, life-toning, charm- ing elements, hot or cold. Rates moderate, amusements plenty and enticing. Write for p rticulars. ' , t Here the suffering masses, evez-i pro- nounced incurables, find rosy checked health and robust strength. The whole organism is perfected drinking from Nature’s fount, till sweeter life and heights of pleasure never before experienced are enjoyed. St. Leon is safe and effects permanent cures. 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