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MISOBLLAHEOUS. â€"â€" Some men try advertising as the Indian tried feathers. He took one feather, it laid on the board, and slept on it all night. In the morning he remarked: “ White man say feathers heap soft ; white manâ€"fool” A bachelor who lives in Newark, N. J., and who has always had a fear that his little wife might rule him, says now that a new idea has struck him. He is going to marry a type-writer girl, because he can dictatetoher. Lie one. Time ll a. m.â€"Motherâ€"Now mind, Johnnie, there's a ghost in that dark closet guarding the jam l Johnnie trembles violently, and commences to water at the month. Lie 2. Time ‘2 p. m. Johnnieâ€" Oh, mamma l The ghost has eaten half the jam. Chautauqua's prosperity, it is said, is measured daily by the amount of eggs eaten within its limits. When L500 dtzsn eggs a week are eaten, for instance, it is estimat- ed that 6,000 persons have been living on the grounds and that there have been 10,000 transient tourists a day for that Week. “Y es, ma'am," said the butcher, “there's , as nice and tender a roast of lamb as you’ll find in the market. I Wouldn’t sell it to anybody but an old customer like you. It was my eldest daughter's little pet lamb. It broke her heart to let it go. You see, she had played with it ever since she was a little girl. Iâ€"Iâ€" mean to sayâ€"Oh, you prefer some veal cutlets. Shall I send 'em up, ma'am '3" Boys Will be Boys.â€"-Connty Magistrate (genially to complainant)-â€"Oh, boys will be boys l wouldn't prosecute ’em if I was you. That cut over y'r eye will soon heal, and ye know they wouldn't a' stoned ye if ye hadn't got mad when they sassed ye. Just rem- ember ye was a boy once y’rself, and Magistrate's wife (rushing in)-â€"Silasl Silas l Them boys is in our orchard ag’in l Magis- trate (darting up)â€"-Consarn ’em I Where’s my shotgun 2 There is a complaint in England that subscriptions flow in very slowly toward a Bright memorial. The Conservatives, the Liberal Unionists, the Gladstouians and the Parnellltes have all pledged themselves: to the success of the project, so that all parties will be responsible for any failure that may ensue. There was a kind of competition be- tween the various party leaders as to who would say the kindest things of Mr. Bright at the time of his death. It will look bad if all this talk produces nothing in pounds, shillings and pence. The divorce courts of the United States are distinguishing themselves just at present. The Flack case in New York is as disgrace- ful as any could possibly be, but it is not much worse than one which has come to light in Washington. A wife began divorce pro- ceedings against her husband, but upon ob tainlng from him a deed of his entire fortune agreed to withdraw them. She carried the suit on secretly, however, and finally obtain- ed a decree, notwithstanding that she had continued to live with her husband while the case was in court. She seems to have had a “pull” on the court, as it is express- ed in New York. The discovery of a few more cases such as this ought to bring about a reform of the divorce system of the United States. At first races between ocean steamships were deprecated as dangerous, and the com- panies emphatically denied the newspaper reports of such and such a steamer racmg with another. N ow that the public mind is familiarized with the idea, and no injury seems to have been done to transatlantic travel, the racing is done quite openly. Steamers belonging to several of the lines running into New York are now urged to full speed in order to make a record, not for safety, but for fast travelling. An accident will happen during one of these contests, and then we shall have steamship owners clamor- ing denials that racing had anything to do with it. The price paid will perhaps be costly In life and money, but then the most valuable experience always comes high. There is something peculiarly revolting in the crime of poisoning, evidencing as it does a deliberate vindictiveness and planned cruelty which deprive the guilty of all sym- pathy. The crime in India, according to the report of Dr. Lyon, the analyst to the Government of Bombay, is rapidly increasing, as 860 cases of it came under his notice last year, and only ‘28:! the year before. The use of vegetable poisons, which can be got from village soroerers, indicating the source of much of this villainy. It is common to place poison in the rice eaten, and in most of the instances the murderer is never dis- covered. Restrictions upon the sale of poi- son are found a very sfiicacious mode of pre- venting the unlawful use of it, and the law in Bombay in this respect badly needs amendment. Three Canadians occu y positions of im- ortauce in the Johns opkins University, Baltimore. One, William Oslor, M. D. , of Montreal, is professor of medicine. Saying farewell to the University of Pennsylvania Dr. Osler gave his graduating class two re- cipes for success in business. First the phy- sician must possess imperturbability. Under circumstances of the gravest peril he must never show, either by his face or manner, the slightest fear or even anxiety. Second, the physician must cultivate eqnanimity, and as a first step to this must learn not to ex- t too much of the people among whom he dwells. Many people think the doctor care- less of their fate, seeing that he does not ex ress anxiety touching their condition and ear least they may not recover. But it is not the doctor's place to alarm his patients to death. An interesting comparison is made by the London "Times" between the equipment of the fleet which assembled at Spithead the other day and that of the ships with which Nelson won his victories. The Spithead fleet had 558 guns in all, not including the nnurnerable boas guns, quick-firing, and machine guns. In Nelson's time and for many years after each man-of-war carried whole tiers of guns, the Duke of Wellington, 0r ius:auce, having no less than 131 on her slime decks. But the lat er were more t ys compared with the giant breech~loaders Bf to-day. The heaviest shot used on the Vic‘ tory was only sixty-eight pounds ; the Vic- toria fires an eighteen hundred pound projec- tile. The change in the manning of fleets is no less marked. The Spithead fleet had an aggregate of 21,000 men, corresponding, we are told. to an aggregate of $0,000 in Nelson's day. The whole science of naval warfare, in fact, has undergone a wonderful change, and even now it appears to have reached only an experimental stage. LATE CABLE NEWS. " A Biz Strike Threatening in Londonâ€" llirs. Maybrick's Sentenceâ€"Another Story of the Shah. London is threatened with the greatest strike of the present generation. It began with the dock Iaborera, 2,000 of whom turn ‘ ed out in a week, thousands a day have joined them, until now there are at least 40,000 men on strike. It has not stopped, however, with deck laborers ; it has spread to many other branches where unskilled la- bor is employed. Carmen delivering goods for the railways, drivers of goods waggon s generally, and men in the riverside factor- ies have all turned out to join the dock la - borers, and many other branches of trade are threatened with a stoppage, owing to the men's action. Tales of Nasir-ed-Din continue to add to the total of human gayety, although the King of Kings is now well on his way back to Persia. The latest comes from the Cave of Neptune at Helibronn. Observing a hose pipe connected with a fountain, the Shah gleefully played it upon the girl in boy’s clothes, who is his inseparable companion whereupon the favorite, not daring to reta- liate upon the sacred person of her sover- eign, took it out by drenching the whole of the imperial suite to the great delight of the merry monarch, who laughed until he was forced to sit down and rest. The commutation of Mrs. Maybrick's sen- tence was only brought about after a severe struggle, and a row in the British Cabinet. The Lord Chancellor, who had been called in to give Mr. Matthews the benefit of his advice, strongly urged that the woman should be hanged. Mr. Matthews resented some of the Chancellor's conclusions, 8. heat- ed argument followed, then a decided cool- ness, and now they don’t speak. A Cabinet council was called before the commutation was decided upon, and here Matthews ga vs the grounds which he intended putting forth for not carrying out the full penalty of the law. Though these reasons have not met with general approval, there is still a noisy minority, who assert that if the evidence is not sufficient to hang her she ought to be acquitted, so that the agitation cannot be said to have entirely subsided. The woman herself is in a fairly dazed condition, and a short spell of penal servitude will probably be sufficient to end her career on earth. Brierly, the partner of her criminal love, has arrived in Boston and will no doubt tell the public his own story. He seems terribly distressed at the horrors which have resulted from his indulgence, and the news of a reprieve, which he receiv- ed at Queenstown, was after all but a slight relief to him. Brierly’s business in Liver- pool was practically ruined. A Vile Plot Frustrated. A remarkable interposition of Providence is on record in Paris. In 1766 a young peas- ant girl went to Paris and was hired as a domestic servant by a man whose reputation was excellent, but who was a hypocrite and a libertine. He made improper proposals to the young girl who refused to understand his meaning or givehim any encoura emcnt. This so enraged him that he had or arrested for theft, and secured her conviction by hid- ing some jewelry in her trunk. The prisoner had no friends to interoede for her and was hanged. The executioner was a novice, bungled over the work, and after repeated attempt to kill the id imagined he had succeeded, and hands the body over to a dissecting surgeon. The first out with a knife showed that the girl lived and she was quickly restored. When she opened her eyes she imagined herself in another world, and it was some time before she could be convicted of her escape. Her description of what she saw during her apparent death was listened to with wonder and amazement by her new found friends. She told of lovely parterres with beautiful streams flowing through and round them, of flora and fauna of dazzling gorgeousness, of perpetual sun- shine and unmeasurable happiness. The young girl. hadillved a prosaic life, was'poorly educated, and bad no imagination at all, if the ohronicler is to be credited, and her revelations are the more remarkable in con. sequence. The scoundrel who compassed her min was arrested, but acquitted on technical grounds, but the people “loaded him with well-merited reproaches." ..__â€"_..â€"â€"â€"-â€"- Hes Lake Superior 9. Tide? The skippers and waterowise men on the upper lakes are said to have been afi'orded reason lately for reviving an old belief that Lake Superior has a tide. The Sault Ste. Marie News describes a somewhat unusual movement of the water at the canal there . “ The water, all of a sudden, began to low- er, and one could almost see it go down until it was fully three feet below its usual stage. Almost at once it began to rise, and kept going up until it reachedapoint a foot high- er than the normal depth. And so it fluo- tuated more or less all day, causing no end of trouble to boats, and giving rise to the usual speculation on the part of wise people. The rapids were a sight when the water lowered. The shoal places were high and dry, and the jagged rocks that lie in wait for the Indian canoe unmasked, so that their true shapes were learned." Scientists have a fair chance of airing their knowledge on the question, but meanwhile that comet, Rocks, of Professor Wiggins', reported to be keeping unpleasantly close to our earth, may have something to do with it. Encke should be warned. The Turtle Mountain Region. Thousands of acres of choice free govern- ment land, now open for settlem in the Turtle Mountain Region of Dakota. Here was raised the wheat that took first premium at New Orleans Exposition. Rich soil, timber in mountains. good schools, churches. congenial society. For further information. maps, rates, etc., apply to F. I. Whitney, G.l’. & T.A., St. P., M. & M. Ry., St. Paul, Minn” or J. M. Huckins, Can. Pass. Ago, Toronto. Women who are fond of music naturally prefer the accordiouplaited skirt. Isn't it rather paradoxical for a man to be , wrapped in silence for sound reasons? He ate green cucumbers; They made him quite “ck ; But he took a f_ew "Pellets" That cured rieht quick. An easier pthic You never will find Than Pierce's small "Pellets" The Purgative kind, Small but precious. 25 cents per vial. It is hard to believe that when a sleepy boy leaves his bed in the morning that he WI 1 hate to return to it at night, A Scared Editor. A rugged farmer stalked into the sanctum with a big whip under his arm, “Be you the editor ‘3" he asked. was the half apprehensive reply, “Here’s two dollarsâ€"send me your paper, for life,” he said. “You see," he went on, “our daughter was sick and like to die; she drooped and grew weak and pale, had headaches, no appetite, back ached, feet and hands like ice, couldn't sleep, backed with cough, and we thought she had consumption. No medi- dine helped her till we tried that Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription mentioned in your paper, when she began to mend in no time and is now well and handsome as a roseâ€" put me down as a life subscriber.” Now the editor is looking foranother scare. Thejmedicine has cured scores iafiiicted as was the farmer’s daughter restoring the fe- male functions to healthy action, and remov- ing the obstructions and suppressions which caused her trouble. It is guaranteed to give satifaction, or price ($1.00 refunded. The well-bred woman says “ please" to her servants, and sometimes to her husband if there’s anybody around. A flat Contradiction. Some one has told you that your eatarrh is incurable. It is not so. Dr. Sage‘s Ca- tarrh Remedy will cure it. It is pleasant to use and it always does its work thoroughly. We have yet to hear of a case in which it did not accomplish a. cure when faithfully used. Catarrh is a disease which it is dan- gerous to neglect. A certain remedy is at your command. Avail yourself of it before the complaint assumes a more serious form. All druggists. Hens are kept busy finding the means for moving their crops. To the St. Leon Mineral Water 00. Psxrrucursnnns, August 1. GENTLEMEN,â€"I use St. Leon Mineral Waterl‘three times daily. Find nothing better as a regulator and to promote good health and buoyant feelings. St. Leon is simply grand for the whole system. H. H. 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The hull ing con- tains what but few similar institutions in the world possess, a large and complete three manual pipe-organ, which is used con- tinually each day for lessons and practice, while frequent recitals are given on it by students, professors, and prominent organ- ists, such as the great Frederick Archer, of Boston. Among the other advantages are free violin classes, weekly concerts by the pupils, frequent plane and vocal recitals and lectures on musical history, musicians, their works, acoousticsandco nate subjects. Send for a prospectus to F. . Toanrxcron, 12 8:. l4 Pembroke St., Toronto. Ladyâ€"“ I thought I told you I wanted curried potatoes for dinner." Bridgetâ€" “ The hostier was busy, mum, and I’m no groom." The Book of hubon. A Man Without Wisdom Lives in a Fool’s Paradise. A Treatise especially mitten for Diseases of Man, containing Facts For Men of All Ages 1 Should be read by Old, Middle Aged and Young Men. Proven by the Sale of Half a Million to be the most popular, because written in language plain, forcible and instructive. Practical present- ation of Medical Common Sense. Valuable to Invalids who are weak, nervous and ex- hausted, showing new means by which they may be cured. Approved by editors, critics, and the people. Sanitary, Social, Science Subjects. Also gives a description of Speci fie No. 8, The Great Health Renewer ; Marvel of Healing and Koh-i-noor of Medi- cines. It largely explains the mysteries of life. By its teachings, health may be main- tained. The Book will teach you how to make life worth living. If every adult in the civilized world would read, understand and follow our views, there would be a world of Physiclal, intellectual and mora‘ giants. This Book will be found a truthful resentation of facts, calculated to do good. he book of Lubon, the Talisman of Health I Brings bloom to the cheek, strength to the bod and joy to the heart. It is a message to t e Wise and Otherwise. Lubon's Speci fic No.8, the Spirit of Health. Those who obey the laws of this book will be crowned with a fadeless wreath. Vast numbers of men have felt the ower and testified to the virtue of Lubcn’s pecific NJ. 8. All Men Who are Broken Down from overwor“ or other causes not mentioned in the above, should send for and read this Valuable Treatise, which will be sent to any address, sealed, to receipt of ten cents in stamps. Address all orders to M. V. Lnbon, room 15 50 Front Street E.. Toronto, Canada AJ’. 465 PATENTS procured. Patent Attorneys and experts Est'd 1867. Donald C. lidont a Co..'roronto. and WHOR Specialist. Private Hospital. No knife. Book free. 0.11. WHICRAIL. M. 0.. No.65 Niagara Sr., Budalo. N. Y. BIOYOLE 8.108328 “a? male money during vacation by cam- or one or more ofourfast selling ksand Bibles. cially History of Canada. by \V. H. WithroI. D. .,latest and best edition ver uhlished. prices low. terms liberal Write for filnstrated circulars and terms. WM. BRIGGS Publisher. Toronto. I” Second-fluid. Send for list A. T. L AN E. Mamas. st ‘lod. An Art Departs cat has been added in which Drawing and \Voodcarvlng will be taught by the five years Principal of nectlon with the Canadian Business University . Typewriting Department under the management of Mn. GEORGE BENGOUGH. Agent for the Remington Typewriter. Apply for Circular. Mention this paper in writing. steamer and accommodation. MERCHANTS. BUIOHEHS, and Traders generally. We mt a GOOD MAN in your locality to pick up CAI-I'SKINS or us. Cub furnished on satisfactory guaranty Address. 0. 5. PAGE, Erna Pass. Vermont. 0. 8. A Infio ment or IR FU Ds to Loan at our" ONE low rate of intone.“ on â€" class security. Apply to BEATIY, OHAOWIGK, BLACKSTOOK & M171 Barristers and Solicitors, Wellian St, cor. Church. (over Bank of Torah! TORONTO. ONT. OHOIOE FARMS FOR SALE III ALI. 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BARKER’S SHORTHAIID SCHOOL, 45 King Street East Toronto, formerly for over me Shorthand Institute in con- in __â€"_; Prou'dent Life and Live Stock Assoc’u CHIEF OFFICE, BOOM O,AROADE, - TORONTO, CANADA (INGORPORATED-) A MUTUAL BENEFIT ASSOC’N. SOLID INVESTMENTâ€"By paying to the above Association ONE CENT PER DAY, a person aged twentv-two, and two cents per day a person aged fort '-four can secure Five Dollars per week while dlss led through sickness or accident, also for two and three cents per day. persons a red as above can secure for their dependants, Five undred Dollars in event of death. LIVE STOCK O'WNERS can provide against loss by death through disease or accident of their stock. at easy rates. Those interested. send for prospectues, etc. Reliable Agents wanted in unrepresented dis- tricts. WILLIAM JONES. Managing Director. “EAGLE” STEAM WASHER, Best in the World. BEAVER LINE STEAMSIIIPS. Sailing Weekly between MONTREAL and LIVERPOOL. 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