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’ PA’RDUNED Ai‘lis’f‘” .______..â€"â€"â€" A I‘HBILLING CHRISTMAS STORY, BY “JACK FROST.” Mr. Dene was seated in his study the day prior to the party, which promised to come off with great "solar." Not a single refusal came to the very numerous invites which had been sent out. : Amen the expected guests were many fitled individuals, as Well as others disting- uished in olitlca, science, and art. “I won or whether they would accept my hospitality if they knew that I wasareturn- ed convict, ' he asked himself with acynical smile. “I am wealthy, my daughter is ' beautiful and accomplished ; but my secret, if once known to the world, might hurl me back upon the past, and blight her young life " Rising, he paced the narrow confines of this mysterious roomâ€"of which more here- afterâ€"a dark frown on his face, suppressed passion at his heart, which shone in his eyes with a lightjthat was not good to see. “If it were not for her sake I would feel a fierce pleasure in telling them to marrow who and what I amâ€"an escaped convict; one who had herded with the worst of criminalsâ€" murderers, and others of that ilk. My house would soon be emptied, al- though many of them would, like the Jews of old, regret the flesh-pots of Egypt, and sigh to think that such splendid hospitality .as mine should be lost to them for ever. And yet I swear before Heaven that I was guilty of no crime ; thatI suffered inno- neatly.” His words poured forth in a torrent, as if addressed to some unseen being, while a savage joy lit up his features at some deep hidden thought that had not as yet found expression. He was given to speaking aloud when . alone, and continuedâ€" “I must tell Myrtle all before I launch -her on the world of fashion and pleasure. I -wish the necessity did not exist. It is a painful duty, and must be performed. The lesson, if taken to heart, may save her from much future misery, and guard her against the wiles and blandishments of a hollow, treacherous world.” {He looked around the room with a keen -sense of pleasure, and yet, beyond a glass . cabinet in which were jars, each labelled methodically, and a rack containing some curious arms, there was nothing of interest apparently. Indeed, anyone knowing how jealously he guarded this spot from intrusion would . wonder why he did so, there being nothing of value in it to tempt the cupidity of even . the meanest thief, except it might be the . arms aforesaid. “ She must share all my secrets, or when the hour arrives she would be power- less to help me or avert danger from herself," vho muttered, as he took down from a shelf a , hollow reed, and drawing aside a curtain, . which shrouded a corner of the room, dis- closed the life-size figure of a man. 3,, (The face moulded in wax was a handsome - one, but of sinister expression, and on the left cheek were three moles, so placed as to form a letter-V in outline. This distinctive feature would enable an - oneto indentify the original. Nature had set its mark indelibly on that face ; it might be to warn persons of danger, just as it has , given rattles to the rattlesnake and a hood to the cobra. Be this as it may, the mark was there, and was ineradicable. The same expression that had terrified Myrtle at their meeting on Christmas Day reappeared now as he looked at that face. He was livid -with passion, his eyes blczad with fury, and had murder in them if ever eyes bad. “You fought me with cunning hateâ€"with fiendish malice,” he hissed; “and I, some day, for death will not come to either until we stand face to face, will conquer you with this reedâ€"a reed only." Placing the tube to his lips, he blew, and out sped a little dart, striking a spot in the centre of that strangely-formed V. At first it would appear as if he were mad - or childish. to thus menace the image of his enemy with a toy resembling a puff and dart. But one look at his face pro- claimed the fact that anger, passion, . revenge were stamped on it, not insanity. ; Drawing the curtain OVUI‘ the figure, he _ replaced the reed on the shelf, and, battlin ~ with his emotions, subdued them speedily 'as only a strong nature could. Half an hour later he led Myrtle into this B uebeard chamber, her little heart beating high with .curicsity, not unmingled with fear. Dressed in white. with roses in her dark ‘hair, she looked the very embodiment of innocenceâ€"a socriiirial victim about to be . offered up on the shrine cfâ€"what? Placing a chair for her, he said : "Myrtle, the time has arrived when I feel it imperative on me to lift the veil of the past, and to make you the custodian of family secrets. To-morrow you enter the world through golden gates and surrounded by the sweet incense of admiration ; to day it will be as well for you to learn that that world, like another Eden, has a serpent in it with which you may have to do battle." She murmured something, turned pale, and glanced round the half-darkened room in fear and trembling, as if half expecting .to see some apparition. Nor was she disappointed, for he draw ‘: said; the curtain, and she saw that face, at ' sight of which she gave a half-suppressed scream. “ Pmaw. girl, it cannot harm you ! Look . wall at it, imprint that face on your memory, that mark especially 'â€"â€"pointing to the three molesâ€""and if ever you meet its owner, in that hour know that he is your deadly enemy and mine. that he killed your mother as surely as if he had plunged a dagger into her heart, and consigned me to years of torture and sufferingâ€"to a living purgatory." The face seemed to fascinate her, and it flashed across her brain that she had seen it somewhereâ€"in a dream, perhaps! {But when her thoughts got clearer, her mind calmer. she recollected it all. It was the face of the man who had saved her from death on the river, and to whom all the love of her fresh young heart had been freely givenâ€"the face without that mark or sinister expression ; and with a low Wail of anguish she fainted. “Are you better, dear Myrtle i” he asked softly, as her eyes unclcsed. "Better 2 Where am I 2 ’ she said,.look- ing round in terror. "With me, my darling,"he said, caressing her little head fondly. “I had no idea the more sight of a face moulded in wax would terrif you, child.” “ hose face is it 1" she asked eagerly. “The Duke of Brittany’a" "Thank heaven l” the exclaimedin accents of jg? " by do you ask that. child 2 Surely you and he never met-he has not tracked you down already 2" “No ; oh, no, papa l indeed we have not. I hope we never shall, for it was a cruel face.” This with a shudder. “Aye, crueller than the grave,” he said moodily. “The Duke is your uncle ; your mother's brother." “Did you ever injure him, papa 2" she asked secretly pleased that he did not ply her with further questions about her fervid exclamation of “Thank Heaven l" lest he should worm the precious secret from her that she loved and was beloved. "Yesâ€"his pride. I met your mother in Paris, where I was in practice as a physi- cian ; we fell in love, and were married secretly." "And for that he was so revengeful 2" she said, almost inoredulously ; the punishment was so disproportioned to the ofl'ence. “His is the pride of Lucifer, child ; it was a mortal offence that I, a commoner, should have wedded his sister. I was wealthy and well-born, but had no blue blood in my veins --an unpardonable offence in his eyes.“ “I cannot understand such natures, papa,” she remarked. “ If two people love each other dearly, are all the world to each other. why should a mere accident of birth prevent their being happy!" “To people or that classI child, such reason- ing is heresyâ€"they would tell you that the eagle does not mate with the sparrow-hawk, the lion with anything less noble. I sufi'sred for love's sakeâ€"Heaven grant you never may.” " I feel I hate that man already, that I could crush him under my heel as I would a viper," she cried. with a vehemence of passion no one but he would have suspected her of. “ The day may come, Myrtle, when you will be tested by actions, not words,” he said. slowly, deliberately. “ You shall not find me acoward,” she answered, with flishing eyes, “ Have I not suffered through him? Consigned from early infancy to a loveless life, bereft of all ties until you claimed me i" “ I our position was a cruel necessity. I was a convict, serving out my time in Siberia. During my exile of seventeen years my wealth accumulated to colossal dimensions, until to-day 1 am the proud possessor of one of the finest fortunes in Enqlsnd ; and yet I would gladly become poor again to guinâ€"â€"â€"" he paused, in deep emotion. “ To gain what!" she asked, turning pale. “ Vengeance l I made that thought my idol, my almost god; in all these lonely ears it was my companion night and day, sleeping and waking. and now I only wait for its consummation.’ “ Papa. the world is wide enough for you both. You have me to live for now : have I not been desolate long enough? Do you wish, for the sake of vengeance, to doom me to a solitary life 1 You are the only friend I possess in the whole wide world. You, too, have sufl'ereda life's martyrdom; but {vill vengeancet bring back dear mother to iie ? ’ " Myrtle, do you flinch from the task already ‘2" he asked, with flashing eyes. “ No ; all I ask is that you will not seek him; if he dares to cross your path again, to carry on the old vendetta, then crush him. and I, your daughter, will help you.” Seeing he hesitated to give up his long cherished scheme, she rose, threw her white arms round his neck, pressed her cheek to his, and pleaded : “ Papa, I ask, pray, that you will not rush into danger, for dear mother’s sake ;â€" to lose you would be to break my heart.” “Child, you will be guarded by gold. All my fortune will be yours if I die in pursuit of the one great object of my life.” “What care I for wealth! I yearn for love and sympathy ; would you condemn me to utter solitudeâ€"shatter my young life heedlessly on its very threshold 2" “Think of what I must have sufl'ered. He drove me away from France ; [found a new hcms in Russia. He followed me, and through his agency I was falsely accused of being concerned in a political plot against the Czar's life. My life was spared, but I was condemned to perpetual imprisonment in Siberia. While there news reached me of your mother’s death." “Twas cruel of him: but you are free now," she pleaded ; “to enjoy a daughter's love and devotion. Heaven may have years of unalloyed happiness in store for you; and, remember, Heaven, too, avenges when man fails 1" He couldn’tresist her prayersâ€"her entreat- iesâ€"which melted his heart, because she pleaded for love's sakeâ€"s. love of father for daughter, child for parent. oorquered. That evening Myrtle and miss Becky Pride were seated together in the former‘s bondoir chatting over the arrangements for next day's reception. Poor Myrtle longed to get away to the river, became her heart was there, and the sweetest music was‘his voice. She wished, too. to put a question to him about the Duke of Brittany, to whom he held a most remarkable likeness. If it should turn out that he was related to him, loyalty to her father called for only one course of actionâ€"to give him up, al. though the elf-art might kill her. Myrtle's nature was hardly understood even by herself. She was full of gentleness and sweetnessâ€"of self-sacrifice ; but under lying all was an indomitable will, which, if thoroughly aroused, could be as relentless "Fool thatl am ; I was too rash, too pre. as fate. cipitate l" her father muttered, as be ' kled her face with water. No wonder she was preoccupied and “I forget absentmlnded, or that the thought of her i8 only 0 Child I". and ti'at for two l first ball gave her not half the pleasure it .. whole years her life has been certified by single rmoticu save that of content. he: not vest" a had be’ore thtt fateful interview with her pleasure and . father. when the skeleton in the cupboard The shock has been too great for was laid bare. ’l‘was as it the voice of an angel struggled forgiven, -. for his soul’s salvation and, in struggling, it Yes. a thousand times," cried Myrtle, ask you a question," said her compiniou, after a long chat about dress, a: , things dear to the feminine heart, accompanying her words with a beaming smile. “Who is the gentlemm you so frequently meet 2" Myrtle coloured, and bent her eyes on the floor as if studying the pattern of the carpet, but remained silent. “You see, dear, your papa would never forgive me if you become entangled in any serious fashicn. A little harmless flirtation does no harm, except that sometimes it leads up to a ‘grands passion,’ the continued. “I have no wish, dear, to pry into your little secrets. but I am responsible to your papa. You are not offended, dear 2" "Oh, no; but must I tell papa f" asked Myrtle, stealing a furtive glance at her com- panion, and unconsciost betraying her burning secret to this woman of the world, who smiled behind her fan at the artless, childish confession. “Much depends upon what had p=ssed between you, dear. Has .-â€"-ei_'â€"hss the gentleman asked you to be his Wife! ' "Oh, no; not yet. Ycu see, he saved my life, and then he used to meet me ; 3m}â€" and, we got to like each other yery mucuâ€" and that is all," said Myrtle, in a state of blushing confusion, that made her look more beautiful than ever. “Well, dear, I think the matter had bet- ter go no further ; it might develop into acmethin you could not control. Of course, he has to <1 you has name 2" “Oh, yes ; Erie Peyton.” “A very good name, dear ; very good. Is he a connection of the Gloucestershire Pep- tons 2" “I think so ;he is so nice. I‘m sure you would like him," said Myrtle eagerly, at which her companion laughed sweetly, say- ingâ€" “ There is no occasion for my liking him, dear ; your papa must be consulted, not me. Has Mr. Peyton ever spoken to you of his prospects? Excuse the question: but you have no mother to advise or counsel you, dear. and I only wish to take the place of one for the moment." “He must be wellvofl‘, if that is what you mean," remarked Myrtle, somewhat coldly. “He lives at Barnes ; but if he were ever so poor, and pops would let me, I'd marry him. Why should a question of money come be- tween us? Papa has enough for us both.” “Will you promise not to meet him again. dear, until I have made a few inquiries? Your papa may have some project of his own ; your are sufficiently Wealthy to marry a title. I am very, very sorry, this has happened ; it may get us both into misâ€" chief.” “I‘ll take all the blame,” said Myrtle, eagerly. "Papa will meet him to-morrow." “Are they on my list, Miss Dene 2" she asked with a quiet assumption of authority that took Myrtle quite aback, and brought a frown to her face. “I have invited them, and my father ap- proves," she said, icily; “pray do not con- tinue the discussion. 1 am quite old enough to take my proper place in my own house- holdâ€"please recollect that in future." Becky Pride, as Molly insisted on calling her, cast down her eyes at this rebuff; her face crimsoned. She was quick to perceive her error. She had mistaken Myrtle's char- acter, and thought deference meant submis- sion ; but she liked the girl none the better for putting her right. “ Still waters run deep " is an old saying ; q uiet natures are often slumbering volcanoes, and burst forth when least expected. The governess was playing for high stakes. Mr. Dane was a widower ; if she could gain a quiet ascendancy over Myrtle, she might find in her a willing ally in furtherance of her ambitious scheme to become Mrs Dene. Her first move on the board commenced that evening in questioning her about Mr. Peyton, and she thought it might lead to a win until Myrtle had checkmated her. She saw her supremacy was gene, that in Myrtle she had a mistress, not a pupil ; but she was too much the woman of the world to show resentment. This was only a skirmish, and. a defeat in a minor detail sometimes leads a skilful general on to victory when forces meet in a death struggle. Becky Pride had not been an inmate of Fairlawn House very long before she per- ceived that there was a mystery of some sort attaching to the family. A wealthy man need not have lived a life of seclusion for the sake of having his daughter's education completed. That Myrtle’s had been sadly neglected she saw from the first moment of entering upon her duties. This proved conclusively one of two things: either the father's wealth had come into his possession suddenly, or he had by some mischance been separated from his child. His manners were those of a man who at one period, if not always, had mixed with good society, the very highest in fact. Why then should his child have been so sadly no- gleaned? Hie Blue Board's chamber was another ertile source of thought to her. Taking everything into consideration,she felt assur~ ed that therewas a skeleton in the family cupboard; and now that Myrtle had dared to fling down the gauntlet of defiance, she meant to unearth it as quickly as might be, and hold trump cards which, if played at the riuht moment ht lead on to fortune. " I apologise, ear Myrtle,”she said, soft- ly, like the purr of a cat, whore talons. nevertheless,are not sheathed. “ When I said my list I meant only that knowing the host families, I selected those which would give most solo! to your party. Surely, I am impulsively, throwing her arms around her neck and kissing her. “ I am a little irri- table, I fear. Tnere, dear, we are friends again. are we not '.' ” “ Friends. always friends," purred Miss Becky. " Confide in me, dear ;my exper- ience may prove of use to you yet. You will be prudent ? " “ Yes, not only prudent, but faithful to death in papa‘a interests.” “ There is some secret," thought Miss Pride. “ Her very words reveal that. Mine be the task to discover it, and. then, Myrtle Dene, I shall be as exactingas I am now seemineg submissive.” (so ill! noxrtxt‘en) â€"â€"â€"+â€"-â€" John Matthews. a fishmonger at Mile End, New Town. Middlesex, dropped dead recently while in the act of committing suicide. The medical man who was called in stated at the inquest that there was a knife wound on deceased's neck, but that it was not suffi :leut to cause death. The face was congested, and witness believed that the man died instantaneously from an spopleotio fit. while in the very act of cut- “Nolr, Myrtle dear, don‘t be ofl'snded ii I sing his throat. ship six weeks' Stromness were sold lately for £465. years ago the steadiug alone cost £1250 to erect. BRITISH. NEWS. Itisproposed to establish direct steam- communicatiou between Arbroath and London. A Leeds butcher has been sentenced to imprisonment for keeping diseased beef to make potted meat. The Highland Railway are surveying for a new line from Muir of 0rd, through the Black Isle, to Fertrose and Cromarty. The building lands, etc., of in farm at Afow Ludgate Hill, going toward St. Paul's, is being widened. There is one of the narrowest passages in London’s greatest thoroughfare. At the college for the blind at “'orcester the pupils play at,football with a basket-ball enclosing a bell, and walk on stilts with per- fect fearlessness. The manager of the Inverness Tweed Mill Company was fined 56: recently for em- ploying four female workers in the mill after working hours. A body of a man missing for six months was found a short time ago tied beneath a boat in the boat-house of Worcester, the corpse half eaten by eels. A curious epidemic known as red water has caused the deaths of 119 head of cattle out of 770, on board the steamer Oxenholme at Liverpool from Boston. The last session of the British Parliament was composed of 122 sittings. There were 8,545 speeches, the Government using up 1,625. Gladstone made 42. The modern war ships seem to be much freer from strokes of lightning than the old wooden vessels, the modern precautions being so much more effective. During the excavation for the Manchester Ship Canal some remains of the wild red deer, with malformed horns, were dug up near the bed of the river Irwell. The three new Canadian Pacific steamers are to be built at Barrow-in-Furness. There was great competition among the foremost contractors to secure ,the contract. A farm in Fifeshire, which has been letl for many years at £400 a year, has just" been rc-let at,£‘230, and the proprietor is to t expend a considerable sum in improvements. The London Lady Guide Association seems to be flourishing. It has taken now and larger rooms, and all its departments, of which there are several, are said to be doing well. A tricyclist named Bidlake has succeeded in riding a tricycle from the General Post. office, York, to the General Post-office, Lon- don, a distance of 167 miles, in the unpre- cedented time of 1811. ‘28 min. A crew’s nest containing three eggs was found near Manchliue a fortnight ago. There are sevral rookeries in the neighbor- hood, but the birds have never before been known to breed more than once a year. Monaco, to which only Consuls are ac- credited. has a big diplomatic corps in the rest of Europe, and its diplomats display a profusion of gold lace and titles purely for the honor of serving the principality gratis. _ Lord Wolseiey’s Australian brotherâ€"the squatter whoissaid to have fashioned an extraordinary sheep-shearing machineâ€"is stated to have arranged the flotation of his invention on the London market. The capi- tal is fixed at £200,000. In a parish church a few miles to the east of Glasgow the elders have struck. At the Communion on Sunday, the 62h inst., only one of the old lot turned up at the tables, and assistance in dispensing the elements was obtained from other churches. A young lady fishing at Amat, Ross-shire, a few weeks ago with anine foot trout rod, had airemarkuble haul. She had on only two files. With one she hooked a salmon and with the other a sea-trout. and, after a severe struggle. lauded both fish. The salmon weighed 11% lbs. and the trout 1 lb. At a recent meeting of the London School Board it was announced that Mr. Conybeare, M. P., in consequence of his conviction under the Crimes Act. had ceased to be a me'nber of the board. Mr. Conyboare es saycd to address the members several times, but was ruled out of order. After a scene of considerable excitement he “Bl allowed to make a speech "in his private capacity,” and the debate was adjourned. The jam-making industry in Kent is mak- ing rapid strides. As an instance of this it might be mentioned that three years ago a j am factory was established near Sitting, bourne, and during the season which has just ended over a thousand tons of fruit were converted into jams. This doubles last year's output from the same establishment. The ssWage settling basin at the disposal works of the city of Southampton, Eog., which has a no aclty of about 811,060 cubic feet, has been ivided into two parts, thus enabling a continuous treatment, one basin being emptied while the other is filling. The precipitated matter is led, through pipes, to a mixing chamber, where it is mixed with the street sweepings by means of machinery, and is finally sold as fertiliz‘ng material. The city’s garbage is burnt in what is known as a ” destructor.” The Whitehaven Board of Guardians have decided by ten votes to nine that “ the boys in the workhouse school be taught short- hand." The discussion that arose on the re- solution was entertaining. Uie member, Mr. Braithwaite, did not approve of the proposal fearing that they would be asked to intro. duoe music masters and pianos next. Mr. Musgrave, another member, confessed that he had tried his hand at shorthand ; he had learned to write it, but could never learn to read it. Amid laughter he added that "many of the ratepayers could not write lonuhand, let alone shorthand, and yet they had to pay the rates.” Sone interesting experiments were car- ried out a short time ago at Aberdare South Wales, to test the practicability of firing dynamite shells from ordinary cannon. The gun used was a ("flock rifle‘barrelied breechloading one, and the shells were 9'2 pounds. weight, the ,actual charge of dynaâ€" mite being 10 pounds. The target was strong- ly constructed of steel ship armoured plates 5 inches in thickness, with a very substan- tisl backing of stout oak. The shell complete~ ly demolished the structure, tearing away the plates in a most sensational manner. Rev. Mr. Murdoch, Free Chll'1h Ayr, in the course of a recent sermon, mm: I Got- siou to referto slandem whish, .s Hinged, some of his congregation and (iii '~ . m..." were circulating about him. He u..; that men who could outwardly act wards him as friends and sit under his in tious, while at the same time they we I uderi his character, were no better whiten seplcuhros, and he warned them that if the alanders were continued, he would no longer act the part of a minister to them, but assert his right as a private gentleman. While they might criticise his sartnousas they liked, he would not submit to his character being assailed. How to Be Attractive. The world of women, says ” Selene" in the Baltimore American. pays too much heed to its, looking-glass-the more physical beauty is gazed upon and thought of to the neglect of all else, because there is a popular ballet afloat that only beautiful women are attrao tive. Women who are plain beyond all possibility of ever becoming handsome still devote their time to their personal adorment, under the impression that by so doing they will become better looking and more charm- ing, when in reality if they would turn their backs upon their mirrors they might indeed far outshine the beautiful women around them. If they would devote the time they now waste in vain endeavors for physical improvement to cultivating their minds, improving their manners and conversation, they would find, like the maiden of the fairy tale. that the mirror was " a delusion and a snare." The most attractive women in society to- day are not the acknowledged beauties in many instances. Eton we see the homslisst girl in an assemblage the recipient of the most favors, because of her bright manners, her brilliant conversation or her keen wit. Such a one reigns supreme when the insipid beauty of the season is no longer admired. Beauty is of itself attractive ; it pleases the eye and charms the beholder for a while, but beauty alone will not make a worn an popular. Women are much like flowers ; the cues that have beauty and mind, well cultivated, are like the flowers with beauty and fra- granceâ€"they are nevsr~ending sources of delight. Others are fair to look upon, but a close inspection discovers a them. The third kind are like the homely wall flower, neither handsome or graceful, but so full of sweetness that to be near them is joy inex- pressible. So many girls. who are brought up with the knowledge that they are gifted with forms and faces of unusual loveliness, depend too much upon these advantages for their success in life. They never realize the necessity of applying themselves to the ac- quisition of knowledge; they grow to wo- manhood with meagrc educations, no ac- complishments, and a much exaggerated opinion of their charms. The result is that they enjoy only for a brief time the prestige for which they are so ambitious. Some of the plainest women I ever knew were the greatest favorites. Their presence in a room was the signal for good-bummed enjoyment. Time never fliggod when they were of the party. The lack of more facial symmetry was forgotten when under the spell of their genial influence. It is not un- usual to see a handsome man wedded to a homely woman. We have all heard, and, perhaps, made the remark, “ Why, what did such a good-looking man ever see in that woman to love i” We are thinking of only the outward appearance, when, in truth, the character of such a woman may be so lovely and attractive to those who know her that none would have but different if they could. it is a great pity when a girl allows herself to grow discontented and unhappy about her looks. When this is the case it is time for her to heed the fairy's warning and shun the mirror by thinking less of appearances and more of other things. _â€"â€"â€".â€".â€"â€".â€".â€" A Remarkable Dog. “ That’s a good dog you have there," said one travelling man to another. “ Very good, indeed." “ Ritter i" " Well. he isn't much on rats, but he’s a great race dog.” “ A race dog 2" “Yes, air. He can come out ahead of a rat at any distance." HadBesn There Before. Dick Turner, an aged colored gentleman well known about Toronto, whose profession is that of a whitewasher, appeared before Colonel Denison the other day, charged with drunkenness and acknowledged the, corn with a deep blush. “ Were you ever here before, Turner 2" “Yes, sah, but not fo bein’ drunk." " Well, what then? ' “ Chickens." "Discharged." (Laughton) Not 1’ ide, but Caution. " Sweat Glrlâ€"“ Mother, Mr. Nicofellow is coming to take me out riding this after- noon. 1 may go, mayn't I i" Motherâ€"“ If he drives up with a span of spirited horses you "can go, but if he comes with that broken-down old nag he had last time you sha'n't.” “ Why, mother, I didn’t suppose you would ever have such foolish pride." " My dear, a young man who comes with a pair of spirited horses expects to drive with both hands." He Wanted a Fall and Winter Humorist. Sandy-looking individual (to managing editor)â€"I’d like to get employment as ho- morist on your paper. Editorâ€"Where are you from 3 I am from Florida, the land of perpetual summer, where I have worked on leading papers. You won't do. \Ve want a Fall and Winter humorist who has had some ex- perience with toboggtn and coal dealerj )kes. Come around next July when the ice-cream and summer resort chestnuts are unpacked and we may be ableto do something for you. How it Occurred. Black (an expert atonographsi):31y, Green the boy from the " Journal‘Hiiiie is here after the transcript of that temperance lec- ture. Is it most finished! Green (a. novice): All but a short sentence in about the middle of it, and 1'“ be hanged ii I can make out from my notes what it is. Black : Just insert " great applause," and letit go. Green acts upon suggestion, and the lecture is sent to the ' Journai’ ofii as for publication with the doctored part reading: " Friends. I will detain you but a few moments longer." [Great applause.) «Udawxnuw -.....‘:.,..,;. . -, - : an . q.» ‘2