Kawartha Lakes Public Library Digital Archive

Fenelon Falls Gazette, 10 Jan 1890, p. 7

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ssvsn BY as OUTLAW. ,. a sisenhu'. .‘l'lsrllllng Adventure wua ‘ a. Wild Bull. Mr. Charles Divison, a. well‘knowu stock- msn of Yaleta, Texas, reports a singular and well nigh fatal adventure which be'ell him recently in the valley of the Franklin Mountains, lying north of the: place. Your correspondent calling on him learned the followmg particulars, which he gives in Mr. Davisun's own words : “I had ridden on: to a. ranch owned by a man named Blake, about twenty miles from my place, for the purpose of looking at a in: of imporzed sheep he had for sale, and was returning when I met a Maxiean with a broLen arm hobbling along the road, who told me that a bull had charged him the day before and flung him into a water hole, breaking his arm and bruising him severely all over. The bull was a. wild one from the mountains, and dangerously savage from some cause. You may not be aware of the fact, but some years agoâ€"fifteen or twenty nowâ€"there was a large drove of cattle stampeded near here by the Indians and driven into the mountains, where they escaped and in the course of time grew perfectly wild, for they were of a breed quite unsuited to this country. They are very shy and are rarely known to leave the mountainous heights. but a bull sometimes, whcn driven cfifrom his herd by a stronger rival, will descend to the valleys, and often prove a dangerous foe to encounter even on horseback. The Mexican warned me that the one he had been attacked by was, doubtless, still in the neighborhood, and thatit would siandme in hand to keep a look out for him, I had ridden one mile or two when 1 dis- mounted to drink of a little running stream I had reached, and to eat my lunch. My horse I left standing, without taking the precaution of tying him, though wirhou: unsaddling him. He was a young mustang, asnervous as a woman, and without any apparent cause that I could discover, threw up his head ALL OF A SUDDEN charge he seemed to catch him by the horns. There was a struggle, a cloud of dust, a stamping like two strong men wrestling. I could not see clearly, but the next moment the hull was on his back, with the blood welllng from his throat, and his limbs qui- vering in death. The stranger, covered with dust and blood, came up to me then, saying, apparently as unconscious of triumph as if he had been killing a cilf in a slaughter house. “Hes dead enough now, sir; he won’t trouble anybody any more.’ I walked two or three paces toward. the dead beast, when my senses failed ms and I fainted. When I came to myself my horse was etand~ ing near me tied to a bush, and my strange rescuer had withdrawn a few feet and was Watching me intently. I went up to him, and, thanking him for the service rendered me, irqcired the name of him to whomI owed my life. The man laughed a little, and :hen replied : “Well, I don’t mind telling you under the circumstances. I am .’ No, I'll leave his name untoldâ€" he wns an outlaw and a fugitive from jus- tice, but he certainly saved me from a cruel death, and he was the finest horsemauI ever saw." â€"â€"â€"â€"°.__â€"â€"â€"â€"â€" A NOVEL INVENTION. Hereafter You May Carr-y Your Own Typewriter in Your Pocket. A pocket typewriter is shortly to be of- iered to the British public. Typewriiing in- struments now in the market at": of consider- able 8'21 and weightâ€"at least a person could scarcely think of carrying one about With him regulirly. The one under notice is not only inexpensivs, but is so small chatic may be carried in the waistcoat pocket. Tue rc- tail price will be under ten shillings ; it meas- ures 3% inches by 3 inches and weighs about four ounces. Though so small it is not a mere toy. The inventor claims for it that it will turn out better work and be found more useful than larger and more expensive machines. With reference to its construc- tion, all that can be seen when superficially examined is a disk about the size of the face of a gentleman’s watch, in which the and broke down the valley in a mad gallop, i type is fixed, and one or two small rollers. carrying, of course, my saddle, with my belt containing my pistols, which I had rather foolishly removed from my waist an hour or two before, and hung from the horn of my saddle. “There was nothing for it but to follow the horse on foot, so off I put in as bad 5 humor as you can imagine, for I was already fatigued by my long ride, and a tramp of perhaps miles was anything but inviting. I trudged on for an hour or two, until my feet were out and blistored by the sharp rocks, and had sat down to rest near a clump of cotton wood trees, one of great size, and the rest of them more saplings. At that moment I heard a loud rear and a crash in a bush behind me, and out rushed at ii. terrific pace 9. large black bull, charging straight at me. I had only just time to throw myself to one side flat on the ground as he thundered by me. My next move was to make for the clump of cotton woods, which I succeeded in reaching just as the bull turned again. My hat had fallen to the earth as I ran, and this the animal now attacked with aferocity and maddened rage that shownd me how little mercy would be shown the man when his turn came. Having torn the hat to pieces with horns and boots, and having smelled me out, be commenced a circuit round the trees, stamp- ing, pawing, and bellowing frightfully. With his bloodshot eyes and long, sharp horns he looked like a demon. I was quite unarmed, having, by some unlucky chance, neglected to put in my knife in leaving home and my pistols, as I said before. being in my saddle, and I was wearied unto death. Till-Z SITUATION WAS A DESPERATE ONE, and my only chance consisted in dodging the bull round the trees until he should be tired out, and this was, indeed, a faint hope, for the animal seemed fresh and warranted to outlast the strength of ten men. The bull charged spin and again, stiintimes coming against the tree with such force that he fell on his knees, sometimes bending the saplings behind which I stood until his horns almost reached me. There was not a branch of the one largo tree low enough for me to seize and climb up, and I had no time in which to so lie in between the bull’s charges. How long this awful game of “ touch- wood" lasted I cannot tell, for after the first excitement of self preservation passed off wearincss again took possession of me, and it required all the instinct and love of life in me to keep me on my feet. Several times the bull left me for a few seconds, pacing suddenly away, bellowing his malig- nant discontent of my refusal to come forth and be 'trampled and gored to death, but before I could cross over to a better position he always came back at full speed. My tongue began to cleave to the roof of my month, my eyes grow but and misty, my knees trembled under me, while a ringing in my ears warned me that nature was ex- hausted, and I felt it impossible to hold out until dark. At lengthI grew desperate, and determined to make a run for the opposite covert the moment the bull turned from me again. I felt sure I was doomed, and thought of is until I actually began to welcome the idea of its ending in any way. The bull seemed to know I was worn out, and grew more rapid and fierce in his charges but just when I was going to sit down under the great tree and let him do his worst, I heard the rattle of a. horse among the rocks above, and a shout that sounded like the voice of an angel. Then came the barring of a dog and the loud re rts of a stock whip, but the ball. with devilish eyes fixed on me, never moved. Up came a horseman at full speed, and crack ‘tll the lash on the bull's black bids, while the blood spurted out in a long streak. T113 ASISAL TURSRD SAVAGKLY and charged the horseman, bellowing with astonished rage and pain, but the horse wheeled round just enough to bsfils himâ€"no moreâ€"and again the lash descended, cutting like along flexible rsaor : bus the infuriated hull was not to be beaten off with a whipâ€" he charged again and sgiln. But be had met his match, for rishsand left, as neeldlxd, the wiry Spanish mare turned, scmet es on her hind, sometimes on her fore legs. It was the moat magnificent exhibition of equestriaan I over raw and I aptually for- get my fatigue and exhaustion while I watch- ed 1:. My rescuer now shouted something, leaped b it will print a line from an inch to a yard long, and paper of any s’za or thickness can be used. Any one can use it, though as in the case of other insrumcnis, practice is required to enable the operator to write quickly. Another advantage is that by means of duplicate types the writer can be used for different languages. Patents have been obtained for most of the countries in Europe as well as for America, Cicada and Australia. Marriage Unpopulsr In England. The unpopularity of marriage continues unabated, and last year was the first in re- cent times in which, while the price of wheat fell, the marriage rate remained stationary. It is now 14 2 per thousand. The decline in the popularity of matrimony is greatest with those who have already had some ex- perience of wedded life. Between 1876 and 1888 the marriage rate fell 12 per cent, for bachelors and spinsters, 2'] per cent. for widowers, 31 per cent. for widows. The drop in the remarriege of widows, however, is probably due to the glutting oi' the marriage market with surplus spinsters. The ex- cess of women over men in England and Wales is estimated at 765,000 1 - Another interesting fact is that the births have now reached the lowest rate recorded since civil registration began. In 1876 the rate was 36 3 per 1,000 ; it is now 30. 6 This is very satisfactory, and it is also notable that the illegitimate birth rate has declined, the proportion, 4 6 per cent., being the low- est yet registered. The worst feature in the Registrar General’s returns. however is the fact that the male births had fallen in proportion to the female: in the last ten years 1 038 baby boys Were born for every thousand girls, and last year the male pre- ponderance had dropped by 5, and is now standing at 1.033 to 1,000 With a surplus female population of three-quarters of a million this is a move in the wrong direc- ton. It is worth noting that while the increase in mariagce between English people has not kept pace with the population, (having in- creased only-i per cent, in the last nine years) marriages according toJewlsh rites have grown no less than 65 per cent. If this rate is kept up they Will become Anglo- Israolites indeed, in a way not dreamed of y those enthusiasts who have identified them with the lost Ten 'l‘rloes. Septuagenarian Monarchs. We live in an age of old monarchs, grand or otherwise, as well as of old statesmen. A throne in our century seems to give its pos sasssor a fair prospect of longevity. The Pope is. of course, expected to be an old man. The two oldest men next to him are the King of Holland and the reigning Prince of Schaumburg Lippe, both of whom were born in the year 1817. Next come the King of Denmark. the Grand Duke of Weimas, and the Duke of Cobcurg-Gotha, l’rincc Albert's brother,all of whom first saw the light in 1818. The foll0wing year. 1819, was marked by the birth of Queen Victoria, and the Grand Duke of Mecklenburg-Strelilz. Then we have seven septuagenarian rulers in Europe if we may extend the term ruler to the small German princes who, since the foundation of the new Empire, have not been allowed to do much rulingâ€"[Pall Mall Gizstte. A Patriotic Soot. Walter Scott tells the story of a black- smith in the south of Sootlandwho disappear ed from the range of vision of the great novelist and was found afterward pI’BOiIO- ing medicine in an English city. The aston- ished novelist asked the blacksmith if he knew anything about the healing art, and the latter acknowledged that he did not, but trusted mainly to "two samplesâ€" lsudnum and calomel.“ “Samples with a vengeance," said Scott ; don’t you kill more than you cure 2" “Perhaps I do," returned the patriotic blacksmith, “but it will be a long time before I make up for the Scots that the English killed at Ficdden.” fat husband as Emily has got." “Neither would I. But they Claraâ€"“I wouldn‘t like to have such a had. v Bossieâ€" do say she RAISING A SPIRIT. A Cunndhn Ghost Story. About thirteen or fourteen years ago, a gentleman of the same of Grant, living on the north shore of the St. Lawrence, over a hundred and fifty miles below Quebec, was obliged by business to go up to that city, late in October. Theonly way of doing so was to cross the river (which is there over thirty miles broad) in a yacht or other sailing vessel to some village on the opposite side to take the train up. The house where Mr. Grant lived was a new one, so he did not like to take his young wife and three child- ren down to be exposed to the cold of a part« ly unfinished dwelling during the very severe winter. So, as on previous occasions, Mrs. Grant remained for the winter with her father. a well-known doetor, who has since died. Business being over Mr. Grant hasten- ed to return, as navigation is not very practicable at the late season (for by this time it was November), and having but late- ly recovered from a severe illness he wished to avoid as much as possible a bad crossing. Arrived at the station he hailed a carter, and, hearing that his yacht was in port, ask- ed some questions about the tide and wind. J net at that moment the train shriekcd and, so frightened one of the horses standing by. that, swerving quickly round, it knocked Mr. Grant to the ground. On being picked up it was found that he had fallen with his back on a sharp stone so as almost: to have broken it, Although in pain and very weak he would not allow the yacht to remain longer than was necessary to take in a load of fresh beef, mutton, eggs and butter (arti- cles X‘t quired in his'establishment),as he fear- ed for her safety, but thought he could doc- tor himself, haviug quite a medicine chest at home and knowing something of medl- close. The day on which the yacht started out so bravely from the safe little inle‘i where she had been moored, seemed to all appear- ance a fine one, and all on board (Mr. Grant the captain, one sailor, and two pissengers) expected to cross in about scvon or eight hours, for the wind was blowing freshly, quite filling the white sails, and the little boat danced merrily along over the green waves seeming to skim as lightly on one of the sea pigeons that played around. “Well, i captain, this is going, nicely, but it stems‘ that we will have a blow." “Ay, sir, I'm afraid we won 1: get: in before it either, but we‘ll weather it, I’ll be bound, for tho ‘ Sea Gull’ is a tight little craft. You had your eyes open, air, when you bought her, ’ “ Well, you see, I knew the ‘ Mory’s' weak points and when she went down last spring I made up my mind to get a smaller but a stronger boat, one that could be more easily managed, ’ “ Well, the ‘ Mary’ had her good points too, and would have sailed a good while lonner if she had not been run into by those lubbers." “I know it, but we had it out then, Cap- tain, so there is no use, I suppose, in going over it again, but I always will say it was one of the most criminal pieces of careless- ness I ever saw, to run right into a moored boat and sink her, but there i we won’t say anything more about it." While this talking had been going on, the wind had been rising, dark clouds began to cross the sky, ominous signs not unnoticed either by the captain or his employer, who had crossed the river so often as to be quite familiar with the river signs. Reefs were taken in and all things got ready for a squall. Bravely the ‘ Sea Gull" mounted each rolling wave, passing unhurt to the next, though they seemed almost large enough to engulf her, but as strong and sea- woriihy as one of her namesakes she struggle- ed bravely on. However, after a time, the wind veered to the north and blew a hurri cane, so that it was quite impossible to run in the teeth of the gals. The vessel was put about and all speed was made to enter some place of shelter. "Captain, where shall we run 1 We can’t go back for we are already several miles lower than Saint Câ€"â€"_-, and the current runs down here 1 Yes. sir, and -the tide must be going out or soon will be, so it would be dangerous to run for the shore, but I think we can make for St. Birnaby’s Island, a little to the south-east there.” According- ly,tho course was changed and they were soon being literally driven towards the island. Unless they could slackcn their speed it seemed as though they must run aground, and yet to cast anchor on that angry sea was an impossibility. What was to be done? "Our safest course is to run her ashore on the south-west side, air, there is a good bit of beach there, it is our only chance." “All right captain, I know you will do your best to save her as well as us." Oh come the little craft, driven by wind and wave toward that uncertain shelter. But the captain’s good steering soon brought her to the shore, where she was carried high above the ordinary water-mark. The mo ment she grounded and the Waves rolled back the captain, sailor and the other two men with ropes in hand sprang to the beach, and as the yacht rose on the next wave, drew it as high as they could cut of harm’s way. As the tide was failing the boar: was soon high and dry on the beach. Being eagerly ex- amined by the captain and sailor it was found to be very little injured, but, as they could not with help get it down to the rivor again, they werefprisoners on the island till such time as they could signal some passing boat, the island being too far from shore for their signals to be noticed. Mr. Grant was in a very week state, the only thing he could take being a little broth made from the fresh beef they were so forunate in having on board. All next day as well as the follow- ing no heat passed near enough to notice them, After that, owuing to the lateness of the noun, very few vessels were to be seen and these either did not see or would not notice the signals of distress. During this time great anxiety was felt in Quebec at not hearing anything of Mr. Grant. On enquiry the members of the firm learnt that he had left on the day of the storm, but letters coming from , the place whither he was going, said that nothing had been seen or heard of him there. l C HAP [ER II. “What a wind there is out, blr. Abel l I ithink we are in for more bad Weather." “1 es, sir, I think we are. I was fortunate in getting here before that last storm we “That was a storm and it coat in dear. iPoor Grantl D) you know it is a funny "Well, I suppose she must have been carried right out to secs" “I suppose so. Since you have finished ten we may as well go to the sittingq'oom. where there isa good fire, and I think I bear some one there.” “How d'ye do sir! How d‘ye do 1 How do! Blowing a gale, isnit it t" “Y es, Mr. Abel, and I were just remark- ing that it is almost, as bad as the storm poor Grant went down in." "So it is, sir. Just what we was thinking of as we came along ; Joe, and Bill and me, we came to see about that bit of hauling on the Back river." "Oh i We’ll talk of that tc-morrow. Cook here will be glad to see you, eh Cook '3 But who is at the docr f ’ “Three or four Indians, sir, who want to see the new store clerk about some pro- visions." "0h. show them in, Cook, by all means. Now, Mr. Abel, here is a chance for some fun. Being a ventriloquist you must amuse us this evening.” By this time the Indians had entered, and we asked : “How? Mlsser Brown. how 2” “Ab, is that you Michael and Jerome? How d'ye do? Come in i come in! So you have business with our new clerk. Here he 3:, and, by the way, mind you don’t vex him, for he is not to be meddled with ; let me tell you he can raise spirits if he wants to." “New Mlsser Brown very funny, Jerome I no frightened of new store man 1 He not raise spirits, no more than Cook there.” “Oh, can’t be! Well, if you don’t look out he may. What do you think, Jacques l ' “ Jacques live long time. never yet see man than make spirit come.” “All right sit down there and see what he can do." “Well, really, Mr. Brown,” said the ventriloquist, if they want to see a ghost, I have no objection.” “Will that do as well, Jerome 2" "then Jerome see the spirit he then be- lieve, but not say it is well. Good man not call demons." 3 "Silence now, as I think he will come down the chimney,” said the ventrilcquist. Instantly silence reigned in the room. The four Indians were as mute and motion- less as though cutout of stone, while the other men quietly smoked their pipes and \watched to see what was coming. Nothing i was heard for a moment or two, but the dismal sound of the wind, and then a scratching sound was heard as of claws against the bricks. All faces were as ashen as nature allowed. “ Who is there 9." asked Mr. Brown. “ Your friend," answered a well known voice recognized by all as Mr. Grant's. " What do you want 2" “ I come because sent for," answered the ventriloquist, making his voice answer from the chimney. “ \Vhen did you die '2” “ When I ceased to live.” “One ghost very good, but, when I see two the same, Jerome say better still.” All eyes were turned in the direction of the speaker, and saw his gaze fixed on the door behind them, where, pale and ghost- like. stood Mr. Grant. This was too much for the onlookers, who scattered in all directions, except Mr.Brown and the old Indian whose quick eyes saw that their friend was in need of assistance. When this had been given and he was suffi- ciently recovered, Mr. Grant told how he had been obliged to remain on Barnaby Island till the salt water frrza sufficiently for them to walk over to the mainland, which ice, as it continually does, broke up next day by the action of the water. He had with difficulty procured a yacht which that day had crossed with him to the north shore. but owing to the rising wind they had been obliged to land some miles below the settlement, and he had escaped notice. Weak as he was he had been obliged to walk up and only reached home after dark. No one had heard him and be had just walked into the sitting room in time to hear his own ghost speak. Mr. Abel soon got over the fright he had received, for though he raised a spirit, he did not care to see the real article as he thought had been the case that time. He had known Mr. Grant formerly, and it was thus that he could so well imitate his voice in speaking for a ghost. Many and many a time in crossing the river on a fine day, I have gazed from a dis tunes on that island where Mr. Grant was so nearly made a ghost of.â€"-[Montrea1 Wit- ness Ostriohss That Bun Races. Some time ago a gentleman visited a pen of name ostriches in Africa At his call two beautiful birds came up to him. Being desirous of testing their speed be arranged with the keeper that they should run a race. 80. he caressed the birds and showed them a handful of figs. of which they are very food. The ostricbos were held while the visitor walked to a certain distance. At a signal they were set free and began to run for the figs. They came bounding along at aterrific rate, taking twelve or fourteen feet at a stride. They ran neck-and-neok for more than half the distance, their wings working like arms and making a great sound. Presently one drew ahead, and looking be- hind, as you may have noticed a boy in a foot race do, to see where his rival was, and, finding him beaten, the winner slack- cued his pace and gently trotted up for his prize of figs. Stanley to Winter at Cairo. It is not surprising that Mr. Stanley has decided to winter in Cairo, and will not be seen in London before next spring. After one has lived within the tropics for several years, a sudden change to a winter climate in the latitude of London is to incur great risk of a serious impairment of health. This is the reason Dr. Junker spent a winter in Cairo before going home, and many an African traveller, eager to get back to his friends, has halted midway for a time waiting for spring. Madeira is a favorite resort for explorers going north in winter, and Wissmann is among the travel- lers who have made that beiutiful island their tenporary home. Stanley will pro- bably improve the greater quiet of Cairo to write is new book, and be may have it 06' his hands by the time he returns to Europe.-[N. Y. Sun. The Bitter End. De Cranquoâ€"Ilere's a suggestion for the world's fair which, if it could be carried out, would What One Juror Can Do. At a rough estimate the witnesses' ex- penses in the Cronin trial were $5,000, legal expenses 820.000, snenographers and type- writers $10,000, the jury $3000, and the total cost not far from $100,000. Had Juror Culver been a little more obstinate. or bad there been one man on the jury who had. persisted in voting for acquittal, this im~ mouse sum of money would have been a 00ml loss, and it would have become necessary to spend as much more for another trial. The mischief of which one juror is capable is practically incalculablaâ€"i Rochester Dem- crat. The Patient Died Too. The doctors who attended the late King of Portugal during the last few weeks of his ill- ness presented bills for their services amount- ing to nearly $l00.000. One of them demanded 514.000 for ten visits, another demanded $17,000 for fifteen, while a third thought that $30,000 was not too much to ask for attendequ at eighteen consultations. Eventually the new King unneeded in effect- ing a settlement of their claims by means of a lump sum of $60,000.â€"[N. Y. Tri- buns. None so Deaf. It has been noticed that sometimes people who are slightly deaf appear to be able to hear certain sounds better than they are to hear others; and from this the proverb has griseu, "N one so deaf as those who won't ear.’, The story is a well known one of the rich father, who was somewhat deaf, and who was asked one day by his scapegraoe son,â€"- ‘l Father. will you give me fifty dollars 2" " What 3” said the father, putting his 11’1de to his ear. " Will you give me a hundred dollars 2" shouted the young man. “Hold on i" said the father, “I heard you well enough the first time.” A somewhat similar story is told of Sir Richard Steele, who, when he was prepar- ing a room in York Buildings, London, for public oratious. happened to be a good deal behind in his payments to his workmen. Coming one day into the hall to see what progress was made, Steele ordered the carpenter to get into the rostrum and make a speech, in order to observe how it could be heard. The carpenter mounted the stage, and, scratching his head, told Sir Richard that he did not know what to say. “I’m no orator, sir,” he said. “Oh, no matter,” said Steele, "say the first thing that comes uppermost in your head." "Why, then, Sir Richard," said the man, “here we have been working for your honor those six months, and cannot get a penny of our money. Pray, sir, when do you intend to.â€" “That will doâ€"bhat will do 1" said Steele, “ You may come down. I heard you quite distinctly, but I didn't like your subjecn." flow Thinss no in Life. McFiugleâ€"Do you know that seedy-look- ing individual ov 2r there ‘1 MoFaugieâ€"Yos. He’s the inventor of the most wonderful and useful engines in the world. > " Indeed 1 And who is that handsomely dressed, prosperous-looking man to whom he is talkingl” “ Oh, he invented an oil can to use on the engine invented by the other." The Farmer Know Better. " What is that I” asked the farmer of the musician, pointing to his tunnlng instru; ment. “ That is a pitohfcrk,” was the reply. “ You must take me for a jay,” com- married the farmer, as he took departusc. One More Scare. The Czsrâ€"Greao Peter 1 all is indeed lostoworth 1 Who fired that bombovitoh I General, the Count Skippoffâ€"Peaoe, sire. It was his imperial highness the emperor of Germany kissing his imperial highuess the emperor of Austria on the other side of the train.â€"â€"[Puolr, N at That Time. " Did you--did you everâ€" 2" he began so he leaned across the aisle of the street car. " Did you everâ€" 2" The other lifted the hammer of his shoots ing iron. " Did you ever have the quinsy ?" “ Ah 1 I thought you were going to speak of the weather," sighed the gunner, as he returned his weapon to its place. Memory Doctor Wanted- Callerâ€"" Are you the memory doctor 1" Professorâ€"“ I am a professor of the science ofâ€"_Zf " Yes, I know ; you fix up memories.’ “ In common parlance, yes.” “ That's what I heard. Well I want my memory doctored.“ “ That is very easily done. All you have to do is to adopt my system and in a little while you will get so that you can remem- ber anything at all.” " That isn’t what I want. I want my memory fixed so I can't remember anything. I have been called as a witness in a bocdle trial."â€"-[Ncw York Weeklv. Heroic Treatment. Customer (in drug store)â€"Give me about ten grains of quinine in four onnc:s of wnlskey. My physician says if [don’t take plenty of quinine I’m a dead man. Clerkâ€"norm. sir, but we're all out of quinine : there's a carioad on the way. Customerâ€"I s’pose there is, but it doesn't do me any good. Well, give eight ounces of whiskey then, I ve got to do something for this terrible ma A Little Too Previous- A good story is going the rounds about a certain married man. He at up one morn- ing in a-terrible hurry. rus ed around fran- tically, built a fire, decided that he wouldn't have time to wait for hreskfast, had his wife make him a cup of coffeeâ€"all he could tnke time forâ€"sWallowed the coffee, put on his Editorâ€"James, just carry this suggestion out, will you? And while you are about i just carry the suggester out, tomâ€"[Puck overcoat, said “good morning " to his wife, looked at the clock, found it was 2 3’.) a. m., and went back to bed. from his horse, and strode forward to meet the ball with an open knife between his teeth. As the beast lowered his head to puts her portfolio of autumn loavis under 1 wing m“ “fling w“ “a, “an of the the cushion of his their, and he. presses :‘lem yum; i; in not two WC! ks since she went tut rplendidly.‘ â€"â€" [Burlington Eros Press. dew“.-

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