Kawartha Lakes Public Library Digital Archive

Fenelon Falls Gazette, 31 Jan 1890, p. 6

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YOUNG FOLKS. TILE SLEEPING BEAUTY Iii THE WOODS. A FAIRY TALE. Once there was a royal couple who grieved excessively because they no children.- When at last, after long waiting, the queen resented her husband with a little daughter, his majesty showed hisjoy by giving a chris- tening feast, so grand that the like of it was never known. He invited all the fairies in the landâ€"there were seven altogetherâ€"to stand godmothers to the little princess: hoping that each might bestow.on her some god gift, as was the custom of good fairies those days. After the ceremony all the guests returned to the palace, where there was set before each fairy godmother a magnificent covered dish, with an embroidered table napkin. and a knife and fork of pure gold, studded with diamonds and rubies. But alas! as they placed themselves at table there entered an old fairy who had never been invited, because more than fifty years since she had left the king’s dominion on a tour of pleasure, and had never been heard of until this day. His majesty, much troubled, desired a cover to be placed for her, but it was of common deli, for he had ordered from his jeweler only seven gold dishes for the seven fairies afore- said. The elderly fairy thought herself neg- lected, and muttered angry menaces, which were overheard by one of the younger fairies. who chanced to sit beside her. This good godmother, afraid of harm to the pretty baby, hastened to hide herself behind the tapestry in the hall. She did this because she wished all the others to speak firstâ€"so that if any ill gift were bestowed on the child she might be able to counteract it. The six now offered their good wishesâ€"- which, unlike most wishes, were sure to come true. The fortunate little princess was to grow up the fairest woman in the world ; to have a temper sweet as an angel ; to be per- fectly graceful and gracious ; to sing like a nightingale ; to dance like a leaf on a tree, and to possess every accomplishment under the sun. Then the old fairy’e turn came. Shaking her head spitefully, she uttered the wish that when the baby grew up into a young lady, and learned to spin, she might prick her finger with the spindle and die of the wound. ‘ At this terrable prophecy all the guests shuddered, and some of the more tender- bearted began to weep. The lately happy parents were almost out of their wits with grief. Upon which the wise young fairy ap- peared from behind the tapestry, saying cheerfully : “Your mojesties may comfort yourselves ; the princess shall not die. I have no power to alter the ill-fortune just wished her by my ancient sisterâ€"her finger must be pierced, and she shall then sink, not into the sleep of death, but into a sleep that will last a hundred years. After that time is ended the son of a king will find her, awaken her and marry her." Immediately all the fairies vanished. The King, in the hope of preventing his daughter’s doom issued an edict forbidding all person to spin and even to have spinning- wheels in their houses, on pain of instant One day, when and queen left their daughter alone in one of death. But it was in vain. she was just 15 years of age, the king their castles, when, wandering about at her will, she came to an ancient donjon tower, climbed to the top her wheel. “ What are you doing, good old woman?" said the princess. “ I’m spinning, my pretty child.” "Ah, how charming! Let me try if I can spin also.” She had no sooner taken up the spindle than, being lively and obstinate, she handled that the point pierced her finger. Though it was so small a wound she fainted away at once and dropped silently down on the floor. The it so awkwardly and carelessly poor frightened old woman called for help ; shortly came the ladies in waiting, who tried every means to restore their oung mistress, but all their care was use ass. She lay, beautiful as an angel, the color still linger- ing in lips and cheeks ; her fair bosom softly stirred with her breath; only her eyes were fast closed. When the King, her father, and the Qseen, her mother, beheld her thus, they knew regret was idleâ€"all had happen- ed as the cruel fairy meant. But they also knew that their daughter would not sleep forever, though after one hundred years it Was not likely they would either ,of them behold the awakening. Until [that happy hour should arrive they determined to leave her in repose. They sent away all the phy- sic'mns and attendants, and themselves sor- rowfully laid her upon a bed of embroidery in the most elegant apartment of the palace, There she slept and looked like a sleeping an el still. hen this misfortune happened, the kind- ly young fairy who had saved the princess by changing her sleep of death into this also of a hundred years, was twelve :hou« can leagues away in the kingdom of Matsquin. But being informed of every- thing she arrived speedly in a chariot of fire drawn b dragons. The King was somewhat startled y the sight, but nevertheless wont to the door of his palace, and, with a mourn- ful countenance, presented her his hand to descend. The fairy condoled with his majesty and approved of all he had done. Then, being a fairy of great common sense and foresight, she suggested that the princess, awakening after a hundred years in this ancient castle, might be a good deal embarrassed, especially with a young Prince by her side, to tied herself alone. Accordingly. without asking any one’e leave, she touched with her mlgic wand the entire population of the palaceâ€" except the King and Qieen ; governance, ladies of honor, waiting maids, gentlemen ushers, cooks, kitchen girls, pages, fostmen â€"dowu to the horses that were in the stables, and the greens that attended them. she touched each and all. Nay with, kind consideration for the feelings of the Prin- cess. she even touched the little fat lap-dog, Pcfi'y. who had laid himself dowu beside his mistress on her splendid bed. He, like all the rest, fell fast asleep in a moment. The very spits that were before the kitchen tire ceased turning, and the firs itself won: out and everything became as silent as if i: were the middle of the night, or self the palace were a palace of the dead. daughter and wept over her a mac, l‘u'. not much. she loskrd so sweet in}. " departed! ' " “01:5, gitih: ( .. .2 AT‘T.13'.‘.:‘: Cs) 1:. .C. a l‘.‘ c.11- of it and there found a Very old womanâ€"so old and deaf that she never heard of the King's edictâ€"busy with : mend was unnecessary, for in cucquarter'cf ; an hour there sprung up around it a wood so :thizk and thorny that neither beasts her i men could attempt to ptnetrate there. A nve this dense mass of forest could only be perceived the top of the high tower where the lovely Princess slept. A great many changes happen in a bun- dred years. when the reigning King’ son, being one day out hunting and stopped in the chase by this formidable wood, inquired what wood it was and what were those towers which he saw appearing out of the midst of it, no one could answer him. At length an old asant was found who remembered having card his grandfather say to his father, that in this tower was a Princess, beautiful as the day, who was doomed to sleep there for one hundred years, until awakened by 3 King's son, her destined bridegroom. At this, the young Prince, who had the spirit of a hero, determined to find out the truth for himself. Spurred on by both generosity and curiosity, he leaped from his horse and began to force his way through the thick wood. To his amazement the stiff branches all gave way, and the ugly thorns sheathed themselves of their own accord and the brambles buried themselves in the earth to let him pass. This done, they closed behind him, allowing none of his suite to follow; but ardent and young, he went boldly on alone. The first thing he saw was enough to smite him with fear. Bodies of men and horses lay extended on the ground, but the men had faces, not death-white, but red as peonies, and beside them were glasses half filled with wine, showing that they had gone to sleep drink» ing. Next he entered a large court, paved with marble, where stood rows of guards presenting arms, but motionless as if out out of stone; then he passed through many chambers where gentlemen and ladies, all in the costume of the past century, slept at their ease, some standing, some sitting. The pages were lurking in corners, the ladies of honor were stooping over their with polite attention to the gentleman of the court, but all were as silent as statues, and as immovable. Their clothes, strange to say, were fresh and new as ever, and not a particle of dust or spider web had gather- ed over the furniture, though it had not known a broom for a hundred years. Finally the astonished Prince came to an inner chamber, where was the fairest sight his eyes had ever beheld; . A young girl of wonderful beauty lay asleep on an embroidered bed, and she look- ed as if she had only just closed her eyes. Trembling, the Prince approached and knelt beside her. Some say he kissed her, but as nobody saw it, and she never told, we can- not be quite sure of the fact. However, as the end of the enchantment had come, the Princess awakened at once, and looking at him with eyes of the tenderesn regard, said drou sily, “Is it you, my Prince? I have waited for you very long.” Charmed with these words, and still more with the tone in which they were uttered, the Prince assured her that he loved her more than his life. Neverthelcss, he was the most embarrassed of the two ; for. thanks to the kind fairy, the Princess had plenty of time to dream of him during her century of slumber, while he had never even heard of her till an hour before. For a long time did they sit converting, and yet had DOD said half enough. Their only interrup- tion was the little dog Puffy, who had awakened with his mistress, and now began to be exceedingly jealous that the Princess did not notice him as much as she was wont to do. Meantime all the attendants, whose en- chantments was also broken, not being in love, were ready to die of hunger after their fast of a hundred years. A lady of honor ventured to intimate that dinner was served, whereupon the Prince handed his beloved Princess at once to the great hall. She did not wait to dress for dinner, being already perfectly and magnificently attired, though in a fashion somewhat out of date. How- ever, her lover had the politeness not to no- tice this, nor to remind her that she was dressed exactly like her royal grandmother, whose portrait still hung on the palace walls. During the banquet a concert took place by the attendant musicians, and considering they had not touched their instruments for a. century they played extremely well. They ended with the wedding march. for that very evening the marriage of the sound Princess was celebrated; and thouglpihs bride was nearly one hundred years older than the bridegroom, it is remarkable that 1‘he fact would never have been discovered by any one unacquainted therewith. After a few days they went to other out of the castle and enchanted wood both of which immediately vanished, and were never more behold by mortal eyes. The Princess was restored to her ancestral kingdom, but it was not generally declared who she was, as during a hundred years people had grown so very much cleverer that nobody then liv- ing would ever have believed the story. So nothing was explained. and nobody presum- ed to ask any questions about her, for ought not a Prince to be able to marry whomsoever he pleases? N orâ€"whether or not the day of fairies was overâ€"did the Princess ever see anything further of her seven godmothers. She lived a long and happy life. like any other ordi- nary woman, aud died at length, beloved, regretted, but. the Prince being already no ,more, perfectly contentedâ€"[From Miss gulock’s Fairy Tales, Published by Harper rcs. Lost Information Mrs. Quicklyrichâ€"“Oh, you ought to have heard Prof. Bcokwcrm's lecture on ‘Ertines Birds,’ last night. What he said about the dodo was simply wonderful. ' Mrs. Parvenuâ€"“ Dear me! How unfor- tunate to have missed itâ€"cspeciaily as we are to have a dodo room this week." _ Thirsting For Revenge. A pianist recently spent the evening at , the house of alady. The company was agree- -ac‘;e and he stayed somewhat late. As he rose to take his departure the. lady said: "Pray don't go vet, Mr. Jones; I want ;ytu to play something for me." l u U; , , . . . ~ _ I . , .., you mus. excuse me to night; it Is . 1.2: hing uni Qlesnâ€"haviec kins}. their ; Vci'V latr- and I should disturb tne neigh- , the neigldxrz,” answered 3 me (u the street this afternoon, I as: laugh: her looking back at mo four titzes! t I Maudeâ€"Os, my, how 1.77.5. . Show." “ Never mind .ha \..,:.,, - ,2. (..,..'.... . .-,,.. (1-1,.” r 1‘ .5 I Lian-a1} . oil.) rJA~~31d x- mtg)tt Jay. I The Kin , who never hada -second child, died, and his throne passed intoa royal family. So entirely was the story of the poor Princess forgotten, that P embroidery frames, or listening apparently 1 GAME IN GREAT BRITAIN. Two and a Half nllllvu Pounds Yearly or uncle Birds. During the present shooting season, says the Glasgow (Scotland) Herald, it has been estimated that in all prepability as many as 500,000 grouse and bit ck game will be killed and sent to the market, each bird (black- cock, grayhen’ and grouse) weighing on the average two pounds, which gives us 1,000,000 ounds of food as the product (chiefly) of the vast heather areas of Scotland. Even at the price of 2 shillings per ponnd the sum represented will amount to £100,000, which, large as it is, is far below the amount cf money annually expended in shooting. rents and in other ways by the tenants of the moors, of whom it has been said that every brace of grouse they kill costs them a sovereign. Estimates of the number of partridges killed are somewhat difficult to form, as the land which provides the birds is not, like the grouse moors, separately held and rent- ed. In Great Britian. taking the average of recent shooting as a guide, it may be assum- ed that 400.000 partridges will be shot, and counting them overhead at the modest price of l shilling each the money value represent- ed will touch £30.000. A clue to the phos- aocount of the fact that the bird is exten- sively bred on what may be called “artificial lines.” In other words, tens of thousands of pheasants are hatched every year by barn- door fowls, the eggs being purchas- ed from persons who make it their business to supply them in large quantities, having aviaries for the purpose. On some estates there Is also a very great number of wild birds, which, being carfully watched during the breeding season, yield a consider- able crop of chicks. Taking it for granted, therefore, that 500,000 of these birds are annually consumed at a cost of half a orOWu each, the total sum expended will amount to £62,505. and it is not too much to say that those who supply the birds will sell them to the wholesale dealers at considerably less than they cost. To rear each pheasant that comes to the gun, it has been calculated, involves an ex- penditure in food and wages of a little less than 3 shillings, Summing up these figures we have 500,- 000 grouse and black game of about the average weisht of two pounds each ; also 400,000 partridges weighinsV each close on one pound. Every one of the 500,000 pheasâ€" ants will weigh not less overhead than two pounds. So these birds supply us with 2,- 400,000 pounds of wholesome food every sea- son, the breeding and purvcying of which give employment to large bodies of the people at fair wages. When the millions of rabbits and hares annually consumed are added, the totals of both weight and value become, of course, much increased. These animals have, happily, this season been killed in larger numbers than usual. Famous Gardens of Antiquity. By the time of Alexander, the Persian love for gardens and parks, with many other forms of luxury, had obtained a strong foot- hold among the Greeks. especially in their wealthy colonies, and wherever the con- queror‘s footsteps are followed we read of admiration for the works of the Persians and of a desire to imitate them in new con- structions. When Harpalus was left Gov- ernor of the proviso of Babylon he was desirous, says Plutarch, “ to adorn the palace gardens and walks with Grecian plants, and succeeded in raising all but the ivy, which the earth would not bear, but constantly killed.” When the city of Alexandria was laid out “ in the from of a plethrom or military clock ” its vast palaces and public buildings were surrounded with squares and gardens to such an extent that, buildings and grounds together, 8 third of the space within the walls was absorbed. Dinocrates(or Dinochares) was the architect to whom the work was confided, and it was he who conceived the idea of carving Mount Athos into a statue of Alexander “ with a city in the right hand and a reservoir of mountain streams in the left.” In such a scheme entitled to be ranked among landscape-gardening designs ‘2 And if not, where shall we find it? for it can hardly be called engineering, since beauty, not utility, was the main obj act in view. At all events, it remains the most ambitious idea that was ever conceived with regard tothe adornment of the surface of he earth. Lucian tells that at Cnidos there was agreat pleasure ground dedicated to Venus, where even ” distinguished citi- zens" enjoyed themselves on the verdant mes-down, and where the common people came in crowds in holidays ; and be men- tions its cypresses, planes, and myrtles. In Sicily, where luxury went hand in hand with tyranny, gardening seems to have been practiced in an especially sumptuous way. Dionysius of Syracuse had famous gardens where his feasts were held; one of the Hieros built a war galley in which the poop deck was covered with earth and beautifully planted; and some modern writers have thought that the famous quarry pits near Syracuse, where the Athenians perished in agony, were after- ward planted as pleasure gardens. \‘About 300 years before Christ, Kotys, King of Thrace. “took his pleasure by a cool stream” in aforest through which he had built “level reads." A hundred' years later, near Athens itself, Herodius Attions possessed a villa surrounded by large forests, which is spoken of by Aulus Gellius, in his “ Attic Nights,” and when Xenophon retired from his native country to Scillus, near Olympia, be erected an exact copy on a smaller scale of the temple of Diana at Ephesus, surrounded it with a similar "grove of cultivated trees, bearing whatever fruit are eatable at the different seasons.” and had spacious hunting grounds in its vicinity. Why Mamie Quit. “ Are you still taking painting lessons, I don’t like painted on our dinieg- Mimic I” “ No ; I quit yesterday. my teacher.” “ Why not 3" " He has such a disagreeable way of talk- sant supply is less difficult to obtain, our COPPER. BRADS IN SHOES. How a lien Restored Himself to a Healthy Condition. “Do you see these large copper brads in the sole of my shoe 2" asked a gentleman of the St. Louis “Republican’a’ Man About Town, as he held up to view the sole of one of his shoes. On being answered in the affirmative he said : “To these simple brads alone I attribute my present health. For years I was an invalid, subject to dyspepsia, neuralgia, headache. and other innumerable pains, and travelled the country over in search of health. In travelling out west among the Indian tribes I was truck with their remarkable health, an especially their exemption from the maladies that afflicted me and also with the fact that the strongest and healthiest went barefooted altogether. I sought an explanation of the matter and by continued observation and study was finally led to the conclu- sion that the aches ° and pains to which civilized man is heir are owing to the manner in which we insulate our bodies from Mother Earth. Science is every day more clearly demonstrating that electricity is the vitalizing constituent of dur bodies and that this globe of ours is a mighty battery, con- tinually generating and discharging electri- city. New, I reasoned, if this was correct the secret of the Indian’s health was in his bare feet, which exposed his whole body to the vitalizing influence of the electrical earth currents; while my ill health was attribu- table to my feet being insulted from these currents. Acting on this hypothesis I soueht to restore the broken connection by inserting these brads in the soles of my shoes, and the result, I must say, was astonishing. My feet, which formerly were nearly always cold, soon became warm and moist ; my health com- menced shortly to improve, and in a few months I was entirely relieved of all my pains, and have ever since enjoyed good health. It is a very simple thing and easily tested, and I feel sure would benefit any one sflllcted‘as I was." .___..â€"â€"-â€"â€"~â€"â€" The Surroundings of the Earliest Ameri- cans. In associating man with ancient river valleys, we are too apt to think only of the stream. and ignore the surrounding country. Though largely so, palmolithic man was not strictly an amphibious creature; for instance, on each side of the ancient Delaware river extended wide reaches of upland forest, and here, too, the rude hunter of the time found game well worthy of his ingenuity to capture, and so powerful that all his wrt stood him well in need to escape their equally determined shorts to capture him. While the seal and walrus dispcrtod in the river; while fish in countless thousands stemmed its floods; while geese and ducks in myriads rested upon the stream, so, too, in the forest roamed the moose, the elk, the reindeer, the bison, the extinct great bea- vor, and the mastodon, all of which, save the elk, had long since left for more north- ern climes when European man first sighted North America. The association of man and the mastodon has been time and again conclusively shown, it is no unwarranted fancy. We are apt to later upon the scene. The truth is, compar- beoame extinct that, in all historic Indians were acquainted with it. the animal and the bones and wespo ice-sheet.â€"[Popular Science Monthly. Cost of the London Mayoralty. Aldermen who have not passed the chair, and it has been the practice for Aldermen to lay in a stock of wine long before their Mayoralty. This was done to a much greater extent some years ago, when it was more the fashion to drink port wine. Then an Alder- place in the cellar allotted to himself pipes of port sometimes years before man would it would be pub on the tables of the Egypt ian hall. The wine not consumed is usually sold or removed by the outgoing Lord Mayor. There is no reason to doubt that Mr. White- bead‘s mayoralty has cost £20,000.-[N. Y. Times. Too Much Stuck Up. Miss Upperten (daughter of a rich manu- facturer) â€"“Pardon,me, miss, but I have not the honor of your acquaintance." Miss Lowerten (who does not intend to be put dewn in that style)-â€"“I think you had, Perhaps if my father owned a big mucilage factory at one time ; but never mind. like your father s, I d be stuck up, too.” â€"â€" Too Coarse. Country people amuse the cockneys and cockneys amuse the country people ; and so A man from the rural districtsâ€"from the famous town of Wayback, perhapsâ€"had gone with a friend the account is kept even. into a city restaurant- Presently a young fellow came in, having a tennis racquet. The countryman looked at the novel uten- sil for a few minutes, then he turned to his friend, and said, in a tone of decision : “John, I drink no milk in this town." “ Why not 2 ' ”Why not! Why. jest look at the You could shove a cat- strainers they use. ng. He told me that I kept on for £0318 bird through ’em.”-â€"â€"Arkansew Transit. time longer I might be able to whitewash a ! fence" l i ‘. The Beam and the Mote. Aliceâ€"What an awfully rude girl Minnie Thompson is l Shadeâ€"Indeed! I nlvsr noticed it. :Il sally l jitim try it. No Hope. Family Doctorâ€""Nothing more can he I have exhausted my resources and I advise you to make your done for you, sir. will.“ Patientâ€"“But I have been told that Dr. Aliceâ€"Just thickâ€"after she had pissed , Biank says he can cure mt." Doctor “Huh ! l’d just like to see f’d have him ejezccd from the Family society is: breath of eziqzetlc.” is somewhat startling to most people ; but,as consider the mastodon as a creature of so distant time in the unrecorded past, that man must necessarily have appeared much atively speaking, the creature so recently probabilty, our Certain it is that in the distant long ago of the great Ice age, the mastodon existed, and equally certain that with him lived that primitive man who fabricated the rude im- plements we have described. The bones of us of the man lie side by side dee down in the gravels deposited by the flea s from the melting The Lord Mayor receives from the city of London funds for his year of office £10,000. ahd on an average spends £8 000 to £10,000 in excess of that allowance. He has no other provision only the use of the Mansion house and its furniture. Wine stands as one of the chief items of expenditure. In the basement of the Mansion house there are, writes the London correspondent of the Manchester Guardian, quite asmany cellars as there are Eel-vastness in Horses- There is one respect in which all the most distinguished trotters have resembled each other, and that is in their nervous energy. in high spirit and courage. That flame which the “'ashington Hollow horse- man detected in the eye of Flora Temple came out afterward in the resoluie burst of speed with which she finished her last miles. Dexter was represented as bsin “chock full of fire and deviltry,“ an capable of jumping like a cat. Hiram Woodrnfi’ spoke of his “wicked head." Goldsmith Maid had a strong “ill of her own, and the excitement she betrayed on the eve (f a race showed how fine was her organizitlcn. "She would stand quietly enough," says her driver, "while being. hitched to the sulky, although she had been previously kicking and plunging in her stall, but she would shake and tremble until I have heard her feet make the some noise against the hard ground that a person’s teeth will when the body is suddenly chill- ed ; that is, her feet actually chatterod on the ground. The instant I would get in- to the snlky all this would pass away, and she would start in a walk for the track as sober as any old horse you ever saw." Barns was so nervous that he never could have been driven with safety on the road, and his courage was of the finest temper St. Julien was exceedingly high strung, and in bands less patient and discreet than those of his trainer might nevsr have been subdued to the purpose of racing. Jay-Eye See, though I know less of his personal history, is notori- ous for the the pluck he showed on his last quarters of his hard miles, and Maud S. is the most spirited, the most determined, and at the same time the gentlest of animals. This nervous energy is the renal. of sonar- ations of breeding, and while it insures speed, calls for extra care and attention. Once in a great while a dull mottled horse has speed, but the great majority depend upon the nervous energy to carry them along. A well-bred trottcr scents the battlo from afar and goes into the contest with a readiness that shows not only a willing spir- it, but a desire for the fray. In scoring, the horse will often give evidence of as much in- telligence as its owner, swinging into line, taking the right position, and showing by every movement its love of the contest. The desire to trot has been secured by tile breed- ing, and is the result of nervous energy stored through generations and strengthened by education and feeding. â€"-{Atlantic Month- ly. The Salvation Army- The growth in influence and numbers of the Salvation Army is truly marvellous, as the 1889 report issued from the heuriquar tors of the Army shows. Ten years ago there were 125 corps with 190 cfiicers. To-day they have 2,767 corps and 8,700 officers. Both in England, the home of the organiza- tion, and abroad the figures tell of unvary- ing progress. The army’s property in Britain amounts to £400,000, and the value of the property held in Canada and Australia is £220,000. in the work of rescuing young girls from wayward lives thc army has been particularly successful, more than 2,000 being annually influenced to forsake their old careers. The government of Victoria, Australia, assists the army's efforts in this respect bya money grant. A work which has not so much interest for us here. but: must be of great importance where it is carried on, is the supplying of food and shelter to the poor of London. In one week 3,500 of the poorest men and women in London slept in their shelters and received supper and breakfast on payment of 33 or 4:1 each. Since the food depots were estab- lished over 2,000,000 farthlng, halfpenny, or penny meals were sold. The secret of how this was done without loss was the fact that they had practically an unlimited sup- ply of labor at command. However great may be the differences of opinion as to the Army’s methods held by those beyond the scope of its operations, it seems certain, to use the hao neyed expression, that the Salvationis'ts have filled a long-felt want. Ilis Ideas of Security. “I want to borrow a hundred dollars," said he. “Can I have it i" "Certainly." was the courteous reply of the banker. “Come in and sign a note and get an endorser." “Hain't I good for a hundred ‘2” “Yes, and a good hundred times that amount.” “Then what do yer Want of a note? You know I’ll pay it, don’t yer l” “I have no doubt of it; but to loan money without security is not the proper way to do business." “Pshaw iI only want the money for a. month and it’ll be all right.” “If you live. But should you chance to die’! ’ “Die !" exclaimed the man 'as he turned away with the most disgusted look possible, “who ever heard of a man dying in thirty days 2" A Mutual Ucnfession- "Can you forgive me and love me still? ' said the new-made bride, “when I confess that my teeth areâ€"artificial 2’ “Thank God!" cried the groom as he gouached off his wig ; “now I can cool my as l" Righteoust Indignant. ‘ Barber (suggestivei )â€"“Yonr hairis dry and harsh, sir." y “W Customer (wrathfuliy)â€"“And one of your cars is a good deal bigger than the other. but you don’t like to have people twitting you of it, do you 2” One of Many Mr. Livehlghâ€"“I'll have to have some coal or my folks will freeze. I can’t pay cash, but I can give you good security.‘ Cori Dealerâ€"“What sort 2 ” “Chattel mortgage." "What on 2” “Aâ€"a yacht." Two Good Stories of the Bar. Judgeâ€"It would be more respectful to this court, air, if you would keep your hands out of your pockets. Why do you in so. slr': Defendant -â€"Juct for the novelty of the thing, your Honor. Ju'lgo.-â€"I{ovelty i “first d'yc mean? Defend:nt.-â€"Fa~;t is, your Honor, my anomaly has had his hands in there so ion-g, elf. m tickled to death to get a chance at them 3,10 ; ' g, V is .q is i

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